Dealing with Difficult Life Situations - Q&A With Nouman Ali Khan
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00:00How much did the companions love the Prophet ﷺ?
00:03Right? And when he died,
00:05how devastated were they?
00:07And in that moment,
00:09for them to believe,
00:10إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُصْلَى
00:28Yeah, okay, I'll select.
00:29Yeah, the one whose friend is picking up her hand, yes.
00:34As-salamu alaykum.
00:35Wa alaykum as-salam.
00:36How does sabr and trusting in Allah looks like in practice
00:41when you're going through a really difficult time?
00:44Like say you hoped and planned for something
00:47and it didn't work out
00:49and now you're like just overpowered by your emotions
00:52and you know that Allah has the best plan for you
00:56but in that moment it's just so hard to realize
00:59and what can one do to realize that?
01:03Okay, so I don't want to ask too much because it's personal, right?
01:09But I'm going to give you two scenarios.
01:11I'm not going to probe.
01:13You were applying for a job that didn't work out.
01:16That's a matter of risk, isn't it?
01:18Right?
01:19And you were really hoping it would work out
01:21or you were really hoping you would get accepted into the university.
01:23You didn't get accepted into the university, right?
01:25Those are the kinds of tests where
01:28yeah, you could feel depressed, you could feel sad
01:31but you can't live in that sadness.
01:34And feeling those emotions at first
01:36doesn't mean you don't have sabr and tawakkul.
01:38You can have those feelings
01:40and you can feel those emotions
01:42and then you can pick yourself up and inshallah try again, right?
01:45So you can have a dip, you can have a low and a high.
01:48That's being human, right?
01:50Allah didn't create us angels.
01:52But a lot of times these kinds of questions also have to do with
01:55oh, I had an engagement and it broke off.
01:57Or I had a marriage that ended miserably.
02:00Or I didn't want my parents to get divorced and they got divorced.
02:04Or something like that, right?
02:06Or I wanted my sister's fighting with my parents
02:09and she's moving out of the house
02:10and I didn't want her to move out of the house
02:11and she moved out of the house.
02:13In other words, all of those situations are about people.
02:16Right?
02:17People ending up doing things that hurt us
02:19or people doing things that we wish they didn't do.
02:21Right?
02:22And there, I think,
02:24the sabr to me at least comes from the stories in the Quran
02:28where people that are much better than us
02:30like Yaqub a.s. had no control over his family.
02:33He didn't have any control.
02:35Ibrahim a.s. is an incredible human being
02:38had no say in his father,
02:40in his father's choices.
02:42Right?
02:43We cannot control other people's choices.
02:45Sometimes those choices hurt us deeply
02:47and those people that were much better than us,
02:49they were hurt very deeply.
02:50Being kicked out of your house is not an easy thing.
02:53Nuh a.s. being married to the woman that he's married to
02:56is not an easy thing.
02:58Asiya being married to Firaun is not an easy thing.
03:01Musa a.s. running away from home is not an easy thing.
03:03These people were really traumatized
03:05by many terrible experiences, right?
03:07But Allah taught us through them
03:09that we can only control what is within our grasp
03:12and we have to learn to let go what isn't.
03:15Right?
03:16Because in the end,
03:17إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
03:19This is what we say when a musibah strikes.
03:21أَلَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتُمْ مُصِبَةٌ
03:23إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
03:25Whenever something strikes them,
03:26they say we belong to Allah,
03:27to Him we're going to return.
03:29Any problem I'm having,
03:31how long is it gonna last?
03:33Well, as long as I last.
03:34I'm not here for that long.
03:36And when I think about the grand scheme of things,
03:40this problem isn't as big as I think it is.
03:42You understand?
03:44Allah has given us hope too.
03:45إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرَنُ
03:47After every difficulty there is great ease.
03:49Now you just put yourself in these shoes.
03:52How much did the companions love the Prophet ﷺ?
03:55And when he died,
03:57how devastated were they?
03:59And in that moment,
04:01for them to believe
04:02إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرَنُ
04:04The Quran is still there.
04:06The Quran is still saying with difficulty
04:08comes twice the ease.
04:10That's what the Quran is saying.
04:11And they were devastated,
04:13they were in tears,
04:14they were broken,
04:16but their faith allowed them
04:19to heal from that and move forward.
04:21Right?
04:22And Allah created so much ease
04:23for the ummah afterwards.
04:25Right?
04:26So, that's just this life.
04:28It's just going to come with
04:30trials and difficulties.
04:32Allah has made us mentally prepared
04:33that life isn't gonna be easy.
04:35He said it many many times.
04:37And we all have trials.
04:39Don't believe somebody else has an easy life
04:42because they have an easy life on Instagram
04:44or on TikTok.
04:45Right?
04:46Or somebody just,
04:47those influencers say,
04:48I'm gonna talk to you about
04:49the blessings of Allah ﷻ.
04:52That doesn't mean
04:53they are just showering
04:54in blessings every morning
04:56and they have no issues.
04:57The moment the recorder goes off,
04:58what is that?
05:04So, we unfortunately,
05:06sometimes we run after things
05:07that are not as real.
05:08They're actually fake.
05:10But we believe them to be real.
05:11Because somebody else has them
05:12so that they must not have any issues.
05:14They must not have any challenges.
05:16You have things that are causing you hurt.
05:18The person next to you has things
05:19that are causing them hurt.
05:20I have things that are causing me hurt.
05:22Everyone has them.
05:23Everyone has to deal with their own pain.
05:25And so Allah tests people differently.
05:27But the problem is
05:28we don't see the other person's trial.
05:31Or we don't see that their trial
05:32is exactly the same as ours.
05:34So we start saying,
05:35how come Allah is not testing them?
05:36He's only testing me.
05:37Or how come I couldn't have it easy
05:38like they have it easy?
05:40You don't know if they have it easy or not.
05:42You don't know that.
05:45So, these things give us a little bit of comfort
05:48that whatever trial Allah has picked for me,
05:50whatever loss Allah has picked for me,
05:52whatever experience Allah has picked for me,
05:54is something I'm supposed to learn from.
05:56Learn and grow.
05:57That's it.
05:58Keep moving forward.
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