Marty Mush | Marty vs.
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00:00Never lost the shootout when I was playing for the Blackhawks.
00:03Listen, Scott woke up looking for f***ing blood today.
00:07Come on!
00:09Here, Bambi's gonna score this one.
00:11Oh!
00:13We have a great episode of Martiverse coming for you right this second.
00:17It's all because of Twin Peaks.
00:19If you're looking for a headquarters to watch college football,
00:22professional football, some great wings, a great atmosphere,
00:26it's all at Twin Peaks.
00:28Twin Peaks has more than just sports, though.
00:30The best part is they have 29 draft beers,
00:33they have 30 different sauces for your wings,
00:35and you know you're all gonna want those sauces,
00:37the honey barbecue, the honey mustard, the garlic plum, all of that.
00:41Twin Peaks has it.
00:42And when all the sports are over, you're done,
00:44you're watching your fantasy players, you've won your fantasy game,
00:47your favorite team won,
00:49it goes into nighttime with their signature cocktails,
00:52their best, their drinks, their music, everything.
00:55This is the place to be on Saturdays, Sundays,
00:57any day of the week that you want to be there.
00:59Twin Peaks is the best.
01:01Shout-out to them for being in this video,
01:03shout-out for them being a sponsor,
01:05and you'll see me at Twin Peaks watching these games with everybody,
01:08eating wings with the best drinks.
01:10Shout-out Twin Peaks.
01:12Yeah, shout-out Scott.
01:14He's, uh...
01:16I'm babysitting this boy.
01:19He's definitely tying my shoes.
01:21I go, you tie it like a shoe?
01:23He goes, no, like a skate.
01:25I go, I don't know how to do that.
01:27I got to take them off before I go on, right?
01:29What do you mean?
01:30These.
01:31Yeah.
01:32Yeah.
01:33Have you ever, like, been in a hockey rink before?
01:35Yeah, yeah.
01:43Whoo!
01:44All right.
01:45All right.
01:49All right, this is bad.
01:51It's a little slippery, to be honest.
01:53This is how my shootout's going to go.
01:57I am down.
02:01Oh, sh...
02:06I got to be honest, I'm getting a little fucking tired.
02:08Let me tell you, my feet hurt already.
02:10I'm going to get tired if I keep doing this.
02:22Somebody's got a backhand.
02:25Ooh, doggy.
02:27Blackhawk's my fucking sideman.
02:37Good stop.
02:40Not bad.
02:41Let me get back.
02:42Let me get back.
02:45All right.
02:46All right.
02:47All right.
02:48Let me get back.
02:49Let me get back.
02:51All right.
02:52Not bad.
02:53That's not bad, actually.
02:55You got this.
02:56Welcome back to another Mardi Verse.
02:58My next challenge is NHL hockey.
03:02I'm here with three-time Stanley Cup...
03:04What do you call yourself?
03:05Winner?
03:06Champion?
03:07No.
03:08Stanley Cup what?
03:09Stanley Cup champ.
03:10Champ.
03:11Stanley Cup champion, Pat Maroon, with the Chicago Blackhawks.
03:16Now, how are we feeling?
03:17How are you feeling about me on skit?
03:18Pretty good?
03:19You look pretty good.
03:20Yeah, right?
03:21I'm not going to...
03:22You need to work on the stopping a little bit.
03:23Stopping's tough.
03:24It's the only thing that's tough.
03:25Hey, we're doing a shootout.
03:26That's fine.
03:27So it's me against Pat Maroon.
03:30We got Scott Darling in net.
03:32Hopefully, hopefully...
03:34Listen, he's playing in Japan this year,
03:36so we'll send him to Japan after we score a couple goals.
03:39And then...
03:40Japan might cut him.
03:41Yeah.
03:42Japan might cut him if I score on him.
03:44We're going to do 10 each.
03:45You go, I go, and then see who wins.
03:47All right.
03:48All right.
03:49Okay, you ready?
03:50One set.
03:51Let me get set.
03:52This guy goes, you ready?
03:54My feet are...
03:55All right.
03:59Spread your feet apart.
04:01How far?
04:02How are you supposed to get them back?
04:04See my knees?
04:06Bend your knees a little bit.
04:08You ready?
04:12He turned me around.
04:15All right, he goes first.
04:18I don't think...
04:19Oh, there he is.
04:20Look at him.
04:21There we go.
04:22How are you feeling, Scotty?
04:24A little scratched, but that's tough.
04:28Two years?
04:30I haven't skated in 10.
04:42How are we feeling, Scotty?
04:44Let's go.
04:45Let's do it.
04:46I don't think you guys are going to score, to be honest.
04:48Have you scored in a shootout before?
04:50No, never.
04:52I've only taken one attempt in my career.
04:54One attempt?
04:56That's unbelievable.
04:57Hey, I got to start somewhere.
04:59You picked the right guy for this.
05:01Fantastic.
05:02Let's go, bitches.
05:04Oh, heaven.
05:06Oh, I like that.
05:09Oh!
05:12That's one.
05:13I think you fucking missed a shot there.
05:16Go home, that's open.
05:17You can't miss.
05:18All right, here we go.
05:19Come on, sucker.
05:20Come on, buddy.
05:21I guarantee you he's going to hit me in the throat.
05:23Put it in, buddy.
05:25Bend your knees.
05:26Bend your knees.
05:30All right, over one.
05:31Over one.
05:33Oh, I feel good.
05:34I'm warmed up, Pat.
05:35You're fucked.
05:36You're fucked.
05:37You almost got there.
05:40Hey, Patrick Kane?
05:44Nope.
05:45All right.
05:47Here we go.
05:56Oh!
06:00Unbelievable.
06:01I'm scoring this shit.
06:04Fucking Patrick Kane here.
06:09That's a goal.
06:11That's an unbelievable shot.
06:13Put it on the ice.
06:14I still can't score.
06:15What, you missed it?
06:16Yeah.
06:17You missed.
06:18I hit the post.
06:19You hit the post.
06:20Posting out, baby.
06:21Right there.
06:22Let's go.
06:23All right, here we go, baby.
06:24He's yelling at me.
06:25Oh, shit.
06:27Oh, shit.
06:29Bend your knees.
06:35Not a chance, Marty.
06:36I got to get fucking closer.
06:38I don't know if you knew.
06:39I'm shooting from fucking out here.
06:40I'm playing for the fucking Blackhawks.
06:42Oh, God.
06:43We're 0 for 3.
06:44All right.
06:45Pat's fucking gone.
06:460 for 3.
06:47Oh, taking the side.
06:52Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:55Never lost a shootout when I was playing for the Blackhawks.
06:58Yeah, Pat's 0 for 4.
07:01Listen, Scott woke up looking for fucking blood today.
07:05I just got to shoot closer.
07:06That's what I got to do.
07:07I got to shoot closer.
07:08Here we go.
07:11Drop that hand a little more.
07:12There you go.
07:14Your baby's going to score this one.
07:17Oh!
07:18Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:21I'm going to get it.
07:22I'm going to score here.
07:23I'm going to do it.
07:26Oh!
07:27Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:30How did I just miss that?
07:32Bambi's coming in.
07:36Oh, he's got the one-hander going.
07:42What the fuck?
07:44What am I doing?
07:46I think I'm fucking Wayne Gretzky on you.
07:490 for 5.
07:500 for 5 for the fellas.
07:53I'll go back to the caner.
07:55Oh, shit.
07:58That was a good track.
07:59This is truly so funny.
08:02All right, 0 for 6, 0 for 5.
08:05All right, he woke up.
08:06He woke up.
08:07He's fucking an animal now.
08:08What the fuck's going on?
08:09Here we go, baby.
08:12Oh!
08:14Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:17You had an open.
08:20You had an open.
08:21I had it.
08:22You had an open.
08:23Come on, big boy.
08:24I want it.
08:250, 6, 0, 6.
08:27I got to bury one here.
08:32Oh, shit.
08:34Oh, shit.
08:35I'm going to go to the caner.
08:3606, 06, 06, I got a berry one here.
08:45Oh, you fucking prick!
08:47Oh!
08:48Oh!
08:48Oh!
08:49Oh!
08:50That was good.
08:51That was disgusting.
08:52I didn't know you had that in you.
08:54Look what he did, look what he did.
08:56Woo!
08:57That was good.
08:57Woo!
08:58Woo!
08:59Woo!
09:00You sassy little baby.
09:02I knew it the second I saw you fucking lift your stick up.
09:05That was quick.
09:06We needed something nice for the camera.
09:09I gotta get something here.
09:10Come on.
09:22Nope.
09:23Don't try that shit again and I'll poke check you.
09:25You're right there.
09:26I know, I just keep fucking going too high.
09:29I'm 07, you're 107.
09:32Maybe put the hands down and bend your knees a little more.
09:36You think the knees?
09:37You think the knees are the problem?
09:40Oh, boy.
09:49I really gotta fucking score.
09:51Come on.
09:54Like that?
09:54Yeah.
09:55Pretty good.
09:58Let's do the Scott Darling glide.
10:01Put your toes forward, Martin.
10:05Oh, that's good.
10:06That's good stuff.
10:11There you go.
10:12There you go.
10:14Oh!
10:18No!
10:19No, no, no!
10:20You had me too.
10:22You had me.
10:24Fuck!
10:26We get two more now?
10:27Yeah.
10:27Two more each.
10:28Yeah.
10:29I know what you're going to do, Pat.
10:32All right.
10:35That's called mental warfare.
10:44He's so goddamn fucking big.
10:48He doesn't even have to move.
10:49Martin, you gotta get one.
10:50Come on.
11:00Oh!
11:04Come on!
11:07I'm going to score.
11:08All right, this is it.
11:09One for nine.
11:10One for nine, oh for nine.
11:11Oh for nine.
11:12If I score, it's over.
11:14He's going to fucking rip a clapper.
11:15I know he's going to do it.
11:16So maybe I'll let one loose here?
11:18Yeah, let one loose.
11:19Let it rip.
11:25Oh!
11:25Oh!
11:28Get out, T!
11:29This is your last chance, Marty.
11:31I think he gave me a faulty stick.
11:35You got him, Marty.
11:36Yeah.
11:36Come on, Bambi.
11:38Come on, Bambi.
11:40Bend those knees.
11:46See ya, bitch.
11:47Fuck!
11:50One more, Scott.
11:50Get back in there.
11:51One.
11:52One more.
11:52It was 10.
11:53One more.
11:54All right.
11:55Here we go.
11:56Come on.
11:57Come on, Marty.
12:10Sorry, buds.
12:11This guy fucking stopped me.
12:14You picked the wrong fucking goalie to go ahead and net.
12:17Ready?
12:18Yeah.
12:19Are you doing 2-on-0s?
12:202-on-0.
12:22With all the marbles.
12:25I'm stuck.
12:26Marty to Maroon.
12:28Back to Marty.
12:35Not going to work, Marty.
12:37Can't get around these legs.
12:38One more, Scott.
12:41Hey, I'm passing this one.
12:43Let's go.
12:44I heard you.
12:45I know what you're doing.
12:53Oh, still got it.
12:58I'm exhausted.
13:02I'm so out of shape.
13:05You won 1-0.
13:07Hey, good shit.
13:08Good stuff.
13:11All right.
13:12That's an episode of Marty vs. Pat.
13:15That was pretty good.
13:17That was good stuff.
13:18You know, I had a good time.
13:19Actually, I think I'm better than I thought.
13:22I thought you were really good.
13:25You had some hands in tight.
13:27It wasn't terrible.
13:28I lifted the puck.
13:29You lifted the puck.
13:30Not terrible.
13:31But shout out.
13:32Good luck with the Blackhawks.
13:34I made a bet with Pat he's going to do my celebration now.
13:37But you ever see a celebration, Scott?
13:39No.
13:43You're like a kid on a ski hill.
13:44Yeah, that's true.
13:45If I score this year, I've got to do the Scott Darlings?
13:53You've got to do that.
13:56Is it called Scott Darling?
13:57Yeah, it's going to be the Scott Darling.
14:00First time skating in two years.
14:01Oh, I love it.
14:02Thank you, Scott.
14:03You guys still can't score.
14:05That was shit.
14:06We'll be back next time for some Marty Bursts.