Con Sisters - EP 3
Con Sisters - EP 3 - Mom Woke Up From Coma After 2 Years
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00Your mom, she isn't okay.
00:02There will still be other hospital expenses.
00:05You girls will have to figure out something soon.
00:08Do you have any relatives?
00:09Of course. I'd do anything for you, Claire.
00:14Can you tell me where the trial patient files are?
00:16When we visited Mom next at the hospital,
00:18I was able to slip away and retrieve Mom's file
00:21and another patient's who was receiving the drug.
00:24That night, Meredith and I used every Photoshop skill we had
00:27to make duplicate copies, complete with the hospital's seal
00:30and everyone's signatures to ensure that Mom was the patient chosen for the treatment.
00:34And the next day, I slipped the files back in.
00:37I knew what I'd done was wrong, and I'd broken at least five different laws.
00:41But as I walked away, I didn't feel like a criminal at all.
00:52I was walking down the hospital corridor with Freddie
00:54when Meredith came running towards us.
00:56Where have you been? Mom's awake. She's finally awake.
01:00Oh my God, seriously? This better not be a joke, Meredith.
01:03I swear on my beautiful face, it's the truth.
01:05The doctors are just checking her vitals.
01:07Can you girls stop making so much noise?
01:10It's a hospital.
01:12Oh, shut it, nurse. We're in the coma ward.
01:14Who are we disturbing here?
01:16Don't you want these people to wake up?
01:18How dare you talk to me like that.
01:20This is preposterous.
01:22That's not even a real word.
01:24Remind me to buy you a dictionary.
01:26How did you become a nurse? Geez.
01:28We ran down to Mom's room to find her fighting off the doctors.
01:32She jumped onto her bed like an animal and started screaming at them.
01:36Where am I?
01:38Are you doing a science experiment on me?
01:41You will not touch the daughter of Vladimir.
01:45I learned how to catch fish with my bare hands when I was three,
01:48and tackled a bear when I was five.
01:51You think you are any much for me?
01:53I am. We mean no harm.
01:55We're your doctors.
01:57How are you old enough to be a doctor?
01:59You have pimples like a teenager.
02:02I'm fully qualified.
02:04Shut up, little boy.
02:05Tell me where I am before I take your eyeballs out and play bubbles with them.
02:10Mom?
02:11Mom turned and stared at me with wild eyes.
02:14Let's get out of here before she attacks us.
02:16For once, I agree with Meredith.
02:19Who are you, and what did you just call me?
02:24Hey, guys. The last time you saw me,
02:26I was walking down a hospital corridor after switching the clinical trial files.
02:30That was two years ago.
02:32So let me get you up to speed on everything that's happened since then.
02:35Mom entered the clinical trial, and her tests started showing signs of progress,
02:39but she didn't come out of her coma anytime soon.
02:41Freddie tried to help us, but Meredith and I had to learn to manage on our own.
02:45And it turns out, there's a lot you can steal from a hospital.
02:48We never had to buy toilet paper or cleaning supplies again.
02:51And we always had endless cups of pudding and Jell-O.
02:55Meredith, is that diaper cream you're putting on your face?
02:58A girl's gotta moisturize. It's very hydrating.
03:01My face is as soft as a baby's butt.
03:03What did you score today?
03:05More useful things, like new bedsheets, pads, towels, and batteries for our TV remote.
03:10Time for our show. And more Jell-O. Woo-hoo!
03:13But we still needed money, and after high school, we went back to our conning ways.
03:17I always pushed away the guilt and justified it to myself with things like,
03:20we needed the money, we had no other choice.
03:23But I have to admit, I also felt a thrill every time we outwitted someone and got away with it.
03:28It started out small, like hitting venues of concerts and games in different cities
03:32and selling fake tickets to desperate fans hoping to get in at the last minute
03:36for twice the regular price.
03:38By the time they figured the tickets were bogus, we were gone.
03:41Or going to the American Idol audition venues and convincing hopeful contestants
03:45that we were part of the TV show crew, and we'd get them through to the next round
03:49if they paid us a little money.
03:51Then, we set up an Instagram matchmaking business account with tons of fake success stories.
03:56We were getting booked for our services by loads of women.
03:59We'd always meet at the client's house in disguise.
04:02What is this exquisite dessert? It's like a cloud melting in my mouth.
04:06It's a Japanese cheesecake, delivered fresh every day from Japan.
04:11You are just the kind of people I like.
04:14Ow!
04:15Let's get down to business, shall we?
04:17Well, I mean, this cake. Yes, yes, business. This is your daughter? Oof.
04:22We know she's a bit plain.
04:24And she's six feet tall? With that face?
04:27Is her case hopeless?
04:29Oh no, we've dealt with a lot of uggos before. Believe me.
04:32Ow!
04:33What my partner means is, there's someone for everyone out there.
04:37And we're experts at making those two people meet.
04:40You will need a small advance, and we'll bring you a portfolio of suitable bachelors in a week.
04:44You'll be the mother of the bride soon, watching your little giraffe walk down the aisle.
04:48Sounds good, right? Make that check to cash, please.
04:51Can you also pack the rest of this cake?
04:53We'd take the advance, keep in touch for a few weeks saying we were gathering options, and then disappear.
04:58Of course, people soon started commenting on our page, calling us frauds and reporting our account,
05:03but we made a good amount while it lasted.
05:05We tried out a wedding planner service next.
05:07That's a gorgeous cake, but it's so expensive.
05:10But it goes so perfectly with your pink and white theme.
05:13Also, we're planning to order 2,000 pink and white roses.
05:16And an ice sculpture for the reception area.
05:19How much will all this cost?
05:21You can't put a price tag on happiness.
05:23Daddy will have a heart attack.
05:25He's gonna have one anyway.
05:27I just saw him eating a block of cheese.
05:29Why should that stop you from having the wedding of your dreams?
05:32Really, you deserve the best on your big day.
05:35Okay, I'm sold. Let me write you a check.
05:37When that went bust, we became travel bloggers and influencers.
05:41With our huge number of fake followers,
05:43we managed to get into the best hotels for free as long as we wrote a review.
05:47When I'm rich, I will buy a hotel and live there.
05:50They have the best beds.
05:51Room service?
05:52Yes, we'll have two lobsters, four sushi platters, two beef burgers with fries,
05:56the prawn tempura, the fish tempura...
05:59Okay, anything with the word tempura.
06:01And why don't you bring up the entire dessert menu?
06:03Thanks!
06:04Of course, none of these businesses lasted too long,
06:06and we were always on our toes,
06:08traveling from place to place, changing disguises, trying not to get caught.
06:12The only person who had any idea of our activities was Freddy.
06:15But whenever we went back home,
06:17he was always happy to see us and never asked questions.
06:20Two years had gone by like this,
06:22and Mom was finally awake,
06:24except she didn't remember being our mom.
06:26Now, we had no chance to ask her about the fake IDs and laptop we'd found,
06:31because all she seemed to remember was her childhood in freakin' Russia.
06:35We showed her pictures of us together,
06:37and the doctors explained that she'd lost most of her memory,
06:40and they were unsure if she'd regain it.
06:42Oh, my girls, I am so sorry I don't remember anything about you.
06:46But I feel a connection to you,
06:48as strong as the frost on my toes walking barefoot in snow,
06:52and as sweet as the smell of my grandmother's honey cakes,
06:55and as deep as the violet skies of Siberia, and...
06:58Yeah, yeah, we get it, Mom. We love you, too.
07:01As the three of us sat in a cafe later,
07:03I was still trying to process everything
07:05when I saw Meredith had a faraway look on her face.
07:08I know that face, Em. What are you planning?
07:10Oh, nothing.
07:11Just thinking how excited Arthur will be when he finds out Mom is awake.
07:15You're talking about our neighbor, Arthur?
07:17Yeah. He's been visiting Mom every week for two years.
07:20He's always been in love with her.
07:22He'll be happy, but she won't even remember him.
07:24That actually works in his favor.
07:26Mom always found him irritating.
07:28What are you saying, exactly?
07:30What if we convinced Mom that she was deeply in love with Arthur
07:34before she went into a coma?
07:36I'm sure he won't have any problem playing along.
07:38Maybe we even say that they were engaged before she got sick?
07:41If we set them up, Mom will be taken care of for life.
07:44Arthur is rich, with a capital dollar sign.
07:47Wow, Meredith. You're a freaking genius.
07:50Geez, why are you girls always scheming?
07:52Because our parents are not neurosurgeons.
07:54You can't use that excuse forever.
07:56Watch me.
07:57Like we expected, Arthur immediately agreed, and we got to work.
08:01We photoshopped tons of pictures of Mom and him,
08:04and soon he even turned up with a giant emerald ring.
08:08You chose this Russian emerald ring from an antique shop where I proposed to you.
08:14Oh, it is so beautiful.
08:16I wish I remembered all of these moments.
08:19But I do feel a connection to you,
08:21as strong as the smell of lavender on a Russian summer breeze,
08:24and as warm as Papa's fur coat,
08:26and as comforting as a bowl of kidney pickle soup, and...
08:29Kiss her, now!
08:31As Arthur and Mom kissed, Meredith and I walked out of the room and burst out laughing.
08:36We laughed till we almost beat our pants.
08:39Oh God, my tummy hurts.
08:41Are we doing the right thing, fooling Mom?
08:45She's no fool. She asked me how rich Arthur is yesterday.
08:49Now she feels very connected to him.
08:52And within a month, Mom was walking down the aisle in a grand wedding in Arthur's garden.
08:57Of course, Meredith and I had made all the arrangements and totally overcharged Arthur.
09:01I promise to cherish and to love you forever,
09:05and follow you to the ends of the earth.
09:08We will go to Russia and start our new life there
09:11in the lovely house you have bought me as a wedding gift.
09:13And yes, I will cherish and love you and whatever, et cetera, et cetera.
09:17Now you may exchange rings.
09:19Did you just hear what I just heard?
09:21Are they moving to Russia?
09:23That can't happen. Is it too late to object to this wedding?
09:26Shhh! You guys are ruining the ceremony.
09:29What's wrong with you?
09:30Are you a moron? You know she can't go to Russia.
09:33Why not? She's Russian.
09:35Isn't she?
09:36Oh...
09:38Oh yeah, she shouldn't go to Russia.
09:40Hold it, everyone!
09:41Sorry, Mom, but you can't go to Russia.
09:44Oh, sweetie, I will take you girls with me. Don't worry.
09:47We're taking them with us?
09:49No! No one's going to Russia!
09:52Can we, uh...
09:54discuss this later?
09:56You're ruining the moment.
09:57Arthur!
09:58Shh! Listen, Mom, we need to talk.
10:00As I got up to talk to Mom,
10:01I tripped on my dress and crashed into the big cage holding a hundred pigeons,
10:06and they all started flying off!
10:08This was supposed to be for after the ceremony!
10:11But suddenly, those pigeons turned vicious
10:14and came back to attack everyone!
10:16They clawed at people's hair,
10:17poked them with their beaks,
10:18and pooped everywhere!
10:20As the guests ran around in chaos,
10:22someone slammed straight into the wedding cake.
10:24Meredith and I grabbed Mom's arms and dragged her home.
10:27What is wrong with you two?
10:29There's something you need to know, Mom.
10:31Meredith and I ended up showing her all her fake passports, IDs, and the laptop,
10:35and she was stunned.
10:37My name is Alexi, and none of these IDs have that name.
10:40Mom, we don't know who you really are or why you left Russia.
10:44What if you were a spy or some sort of criminal?
10:47What if you're wanted in Russia?
10:49If you go back there, you might get arrested or worse.
10:52Apparently, many years ago, some bad people were looking for you,
10:55and we don't know why.
10:56You have to stay here and keep a low profile.
10:59But I want to find my parents and see my home.
11:02It's all I remember.
11:04You can't risk it.
11:05Not till you get your memory back.
11:07Or we get someone to tell us what's on that laptop and figure out who you are.
11:11We're sorry.
11:13We hugged Mom as she cried, then fixed her makeup and returned to the wedding.
11:17The pigeons had left, and the guests were leaving too.
11:20Stop, everyone. The wedding isn't over yet.
11:22And, Arthur, Mom wants to move to Hawaii instead.
11:25From the top, people.
11:26Arthur was very confused, but they finally got married.
11:30Later, as everyone moved towards the dance floor,
11:32Freddy asked me to join him.
11:34So, now you're Mom as well, and you have a rich stepfather.
11:38What are your plans?
11:40I like traveling around with Meredith.
11:42Maybe I'll do that for some time.
11:43There isn't any reason to stay here anyway.
11:45Ouch.
11:46Why don't you just hit me with an axe?
11:48Of course, there's you.
11:50I can always come visit.
11:51That's not good enough, Claire.
11:53Look, I have to say this now.
11:55I've been in love with you since forever,
11:57and let's not pretend you don't know that.
12:00Don't you think you can give us a chance?
12:03We're best friends, and I'd do anything for you.
12:06I know, Freddy, but I just can't.
12:08I love you, but not like you want me to.
12:11You can try dating me.
12:13Maybe you'll feel differently.
12:15I don't think I will.
12:17And I can give you a good life.
12:19You don't need to live like a freaking criminal anymore.
12:22Some people might call me an artist.
12:25A con artist, yeah. Still a criminal.
12:29Maybe I enjoy being one. It's kind of thrilling.
12:32I don't really believe that.
12:34You don't want to believe that.
12:36We're too different, Freddy.
12:37You're going to be a neurosurgeon like your parents,
12:40and you'll find a nice girlfriend and then marry her
12:42and live in a nice neighborhood, and you'll be content.
12:45I'm not sure that's the life I want.
12:47It sounds boring.
12:49I wish I'd said something else when I saw Freddy's hurt face,
12:52but there was no easy way to let him down.
12:54He kissed me gently on the cheek and walked away,
12:56and I felt a lump in my throat.
12:58Mom moved to Hawaii with Arthur,
13:00and Meredith and I went down a crazy path
13:02over the next few years.
13:03There wasn't a scam, fraud, or con we didn't attempt.
13:06We never stuck to the same thing for too long
13:08in case the police picked up a pattern.
13:10But word got around in underground circles
13:12about two female con artists,
13:14and we actually started getting hired for our services.
13:17People were always less likely to suspect
13:19two pretty, innocent-looking girls
13:21than someone who looks like a thug.
13:23And working with these thugs,
13:24we learned how to forge signatures,
13:26create counterfeit money, make fake checks,
13:28and steal credit card information.
13:30I'd always been bad with computers,
13:32but Meredith even showed a great knack for hacking.
13:35We made good money, partied with rich people,
13:37traveled first class, and stayed in amazing hotels.
13:41But for me, the glitz and glamour gradually started to fade.
13:44I was getting tired living out of suitcases,
13:46always wearing disguises, and looking over my shoulder.
13:49I had no real friends,
13:51and even if I met someone I thought I could like,
13:53I knew I couldn't be in a real relationship.
13:55I was almost thinking of talking to Meredith
13:57about quitting the con artist life,
13:59when one day, she burst into our New York hotel room
14:02looking beyond excited.
14:04You won't believe the job we just got.
14:06It's gonna pay us $250,000.
14:09Who would pay that kind of money, and for what?
14:11Turns out, the kind of people
14:13who take you to their headquarters blindfolded.
14:15As Meredith and I walked into an underground room,
14:18a large chair swiveled around to reveal...