Kapil Sharma is back with a new 'Salah Center' (Consultancy Business) in a Mohollah with absurd characters. The wealthy milkman Bachcha Yadav (Kiku Sharda) with his wife Titli Yadav (Bharti Singh) and sister-in-law Bhoori (Sumona Singh) is the one who has rented out houses within the Mohollah and is Kapil Sharma's business partner. The neighbors in the Mohollah are also full of quirks and don't shy away from the antics. With celebrities gracing every episode, The Kapil Sharma Show promises fun-filled entertaining weekends.
#thekapilsharmashow #comedy #mostcomedykapilsharma #bestofkapilsharma #kapilcomedy #kapilsharma #thekapilsharmashowgulati
#thekapilsharmashow #comedy #mostcomedykapilsharma #bestofkapilsharma #kapilcomedy #kapilsharma #thekapilsharmashowgulati
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FunTranscript
00:00:00Mr. Salman, Pooja, a very warm welcome to both of you.
00:00:03Thank you very much.
00:00:04Our studio has the capacity for that.
00:00:06But when you come, I don't know how people sit on top of each other.
00:00:10Isn't it, sir?
00:00:14Because they like to sit on top of each other.
00:00:20It has started.
00:00:22You are on top.
00:00:23People are sitting from Mumbai to Pune.
00:00:25You are bringing a film on the occasion of Eid.
00:00:30Kisi Ka Bhai, Kisi Ki Jaan.
00:00:31It can't be a bigger gift for your fans.
00:00:32Isn't it, Guys?
00:00:36Mr. Salman's personality is like this.
00:00:39It suits him.
00:00:40Kisi Ka Bhai, Kisi Ki Jaan.
00:00:41If our Pandey..
00:00:43If he makes a film with this..
00:00:45You can never imagine.
00:00:46He is everyone's life.
00:00:49No one will make him a brother.
00:00:50They will make him their life.
00:00:52Yes.
00:00:53Looking at Pandey, I got the title
00:00:55Kahi Pe Kulche, Kahi Pe Naan.
00:00:59Looking at Ms. Archana, I got the title
00:01:00Sab Kuch Loot Liya, Madh Mein Makaan.
00:01:04I have bought it.
00:01:05Everyone buys it in the papers.
00:01:07I have looted it from here.
00:01:10Okay.
00:01:12Those who have been looted have come out.
00:01:14What?
00:01:14Mr. Sidhu has come out.
00:01:19But he is not here.
00:01:20Two chairs will be placed here.
00:01:22That's a good idea.
00:01:24He used to get two chairs.
00:01:25He will get three chairs.
00:01:28What a wonder!
00:01:29We were waiting for your film.
00:01:31But when you entered Pathan, it was fun to watch.
00:01:34Isn't it?
00:01:35Thank you very much.
00:01:38In Pathan's film, Shahrukh is fighting for the country.
00:01:41And when he is trapped, Salman enters.
00:01:46You are the producer of our show.
00:01:47This is your show.
00:01:49You are a family man.
00:01:50If you permit, can I talk to the guests?
00:01:52Sure. Please.
00:01:53Pooja, when we used to study in school..
00:01:55Yes.
00:01:56..we used to get orange ice-cream.
00:01:59Oh, God!
00:01:59I swear, I miss it when I see you.
00:02:03I have eaten a lot.
00:02:04What?
00:02:06I have lost my voice because of it.
00:02:12We used to get orange sticks.
00:02:13Yes.
00:02:14And we used to get mango sticks.
00:02:17Yes.
00:02:17And we used to get ice-creams made of Cassata.
00:02:19Yum!
00:02:20And we used to get Chiku Kulfi.
00:02:23And we used to get Mango Kulfi.
00:02:26I have eaten a lot of it.
00:02:27And we used to get sweet mangoes
00:02:30and Tota Pari Aam.
00:02:32And we used to get
00:02:34some chillies and salt.
00:02:36We used to get Bimli.
00:02:38We used to get Amla.
00:02:40We used to get sour tamarind.
00:02:41And we used to get English tamarind.
00:02:44The white one.
00:02:45And we used to get Love Apple.
00:02:46We used to call it..
00:02:48I think we used to call it Ice Apple.
00:02:49You have eaten a lot of it.
00:02:51Love Apple.
00:02:52Bandra.
00:02:53Because I have lived in Bandra.
00:02:56And there was a time
00:02:58when we couldn't cook a lot of food at home.
00:03:03So we ate all the fruits of Bandra.
00:03:06Okay.
00:03:06We used to plant Chironji, Falsa,
00:03:11Wow!
00:03:11Targola, Coconut.
00:03:13We knew about all the trees of Bandra.
00:03:15We have climbed every tree.
00:03:17Every gardener has hit us.
00:03:20Wow!
00:03:22Wow! I remember all the childhood memories.
00:03:24But you..
00:03:25Just look at my outfit.
00:03:26Look at your beauty.
00:03:28You look beautiful with Salman.
00:03:30Otherwise, he would have got bored
00:03:31by looking at Shera's face all year round.
00:03:35Sometimes, I get so used to it
00:03:38that when I don't look at Shera
00:03:39I get a beard on someone else.
00:03:47Oh, God!
00:03:48This is all comedy.
00:03:50This is not serious.
00:03:54No one likes a woman with a beard.
00:03:58You must have seen this a lot during the lockdown.
00:04:03You say it yourself
00:04:05and then you say, don't take it seriously.
00:04:08And we are thinking about the Covid photos.
00:04:11We don't know whose leg it is.
00:04:14Is it yours or your wife's?
00:04:18Oh!
00:04:21Oh!
00:04:22Hi!
00:04:22This is her experience.
00:04:26She has given birth to two kids in that experience.
00:04:32What do I say now?
00:04:35Oh, my God!
00:04:37You were on a farm during the lockdown.
00:04:39You had a lot of space.
00:04:40We were in a two-bedroom flat.
00:04:43And then..
00:04:43I was in the fields.
00:04:46I want to tell our viewers
00:04:48that Salman is feeling a bit cold today.
00:04:50But despite that, he has come here.
00:04:53So, thank you so much for coming.
00:04:54Thank you very much.
00:04:58Pooja, when you came to know
00:05:00that you are doing a film opposite Salman..
00:05:02You must have thought for a second
00:05:03whether he will be my brother or I will be his life.
00:05:06What did you think?
00:05:07Answer her.
00:05:09I want to say that I am the life in this film.
00:05:13And..
00:05:15Yes.
00:05:16And I am his brother.
00:05:22Everyone calls you their brother.
00:05:24Who do you give the right to call you his life?
00:05:26I don't give anyone the right to call me his life.
00:05:29It starts with the word, life.
00:05:30And then, we take lives.
00:05:33I am so happy to be with you.
00:05:35I am so lucky.
00:05:37A little time passes.
00:05:39And then, I love you comes.
00:05:41As soon as I said I love you..
00:05:43As soon as I came to know..
00:05:44That I am trapped..
00:05:45And then, your life is ruined.
00:05:50Life is a very incomplete word.
00:05:53Actually, the whole sentence would be..
00:05:56I will take your life.
00:05:58And then, I will make someone else's life.
00:06:00I will take his life as well.
00:06:04You don't know this.
00:06:07You will know this only then.
00:06:10And then, he will know.
00:06:12Oh! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
00:06:15The song of this film is very popular these days.
00:06:17We will dance with lungi.
00:06:19I saw you dancing in lungi for the first time.
00:06:21Weren't you scared that if the lungi opens..
00:06:23..then all the promotion will be done here?
00:06:26I used to wear lungi before every shot.
00:06:29Because I had worn shorts.
00:06:30Okay.
00:06:31And when Siddharth and Raghav came to know..
00:06:34..that lungi has come and we have to dance with lungi..
00:06:36..they started kicking.
00:06:39Yes, actually. I mean..
00:06:40If you see my legs, you will know that I should be strong in lungi.
00:06:42It's a good thing.
00:06:43And everyone used to pull out their hair.
00:06:47Ms. Archana was telling me that Pooja has done so much work..
00:06:50..in the south as well.
00:06:51And she is doing so much work here as well.
00:06:52So, when you feel like eating Dosa, you go there.
00:06:54And when you feel like eating Samosa, you come here.
00:06:57Is there any truth in this?
00:06:59You get Dosa here as well.
00:07:00Yes.
00:07:01Yes, you get Samosa Dosa.
00:07:02Do one thing. I will send Dosa to your house.
00:07:05This was her angle.
00:07:06Yes.
00:07:07That you come to her house for free.
00:07:08Was this my angle?
00:07:09Yes.
00:07:11You get this on every unit.
00:07:13You get Dosa, Idli, Sambar.
00:07:16You get this on every unit.
00:07:17When she made Dosa, it was like Punjab.
00:07:18Punjabi people have their own tempering.
00:07:20They also have Butter Chicken Dosa.
00:07:21Yes.
00:07:22Yes.
00:07:23All kinds of it.
00:07:24Let's do a movie, Tubelight.
00:07:26Our heroine was Juju.
00:07:27She had come from China.
00:07:28Okay.
00:07:29So, we thought of bringing all kinds of Chinese dishes..
00:07:31..from the best restaurants here.
00:07:33Okay.
00:07:33So, when she landed on the set, I said, come, Juju.
00:07:36Have some Chinese.
00:07:37She saw around 20 dishes.
00:07:39I couldn't recognise any of them.
00:07:42There is not a single dish in Chinese.
00:07:44You couldn't recognise it, right?
00:07:46There is not a single dish.
00:07:47But when she started eating..
00:07:49..she wanted the same thing every day.
00:07:51Oh, wow!
00:07:52Wow!
00:07:52When we got excited..
00:07:53Yes.
00:07:54We have so much taste in Chinese.
00:07:57Welcome, all of you.
00:08:00Normally, there is a place for six of us.
00:08:02Who will refuse Salman?
00:08:04His friends are sitting outside.
00:08:05With their sofas.
00:08:07And one is sitting in the front.
00:08:09Ms. Nadeem.
00:08:10So, welcome.
00:08:11C-C-E-E-O-O-E-O.
00:08:13Yo!
00:08:15Please come.
00:08:16Please take a seat.
00:08:18I am happy to see everyone.
00:08:21But I am most happy to see this little girl, Palak.
00:08:24Yes.
00:08:25Her mother is Ms. Shweta Tiwari.
00:08:27You all know her.
00:08:28When we used to do comedy circus..
00:08:29..she was this small.
00:08:30Yes.
00:08:34So, I saw her suddenly and she has grown so tall.
00:08:36How are you, Palak?
00:08:37I am good.
00:08:37How is your mom? Good?
00:08:38She is good.
00:08:39Welcome, all of you.
00:08:40Ms. Shehnaaz, how are you?
00:08:41I am fine.
00:08:42You look very pretty.
00:08:44I have always been pretty.
00:08:45That's it.
00:08:52It's a good thing.
00:08:52You look good when you talk.
00:08:53Don't sit quietly, Mr. Gil.
00:08:55I have worn a modern dress.
00:08:57So, I am sitting in that manner.
00:08:58If you wear such a dress, you become quiet.
00:09:00Yes, of course. You know.
00:09:02Let's order Patiala Shahnaz Cheese for you.
00:09:05Okay, we have started with Shehnaaz.
00:09:08So, when you were shooting..
00:09:10..how much did she trouble you all?
00:09:12No, it's nothing like that.
00:09:14Didn't she say anything?
00:09:15She didn't trouble us.
00:09:16She says a lot of messages.
00:09:17When she is in the mood.
00:09:18We never let her be in the mood.
00:09:22He is excited.
00:09:23But she is a bad girl.
00:09:25Bad?
00:09:29He will call her bad.
00:09:31I mean, she is a good actor.
00:09:35She is a good dancer.
00:09:35She has done a good job in the film.
00:09:37According to her, she is a bad girl.
00:09:38Okay, according to her.
00:09:39Okay, Raghav..
00:09:40That's right.
00:09:41You all have seen Raghav in many TV shows.
00:09:43He is a great dancer.
00:09:44He is a great talker.
00:09:45He creates a lot of buzz in his show.
00:09:47His slow motion dance is very famous.
00:09:49When you came to know that you have to film with Salman..
00:09:52..did you go in slow motion or did you run?
00:09:53Did you catch someone else?
00:09:54No, no, no.
00:09:56I ran immediately.
00:09:57And he ran to me four times in a day.
00:10:00Four times.
00:10:01Four times.
00:10:03Can you do it once, Raghav? Please.
00:10:04In slow motion.
00:10:14Awesome.
00:10:30Superb.
00:10:34Wow.
00:10:35Did you notice something?
00:10:36What?
00:10:37His slow motion has become even slower.
00:10:41Mr. Jassi, how are you?
00:10:42I am fine.
00:10:43You are looking very handsome.
00:10:44Thank you so much.
00:10:44You are wearing black spectacles.
00:10:46You are playing the role of Salman's younger brother.
00:10:47Yes.
00:10:48Did you meet Mr. Sohail?
00:10:49I didn't meet him.
00:10:50Did you ask him?
00:10:50He took permission.
00:10:52Did you ask him how much you have to speak in front of him?
00:10:54No, I can't speak.
00:10:57I can't speak in front of him.
00:10:58Okay.
00:10:58I can't speak in front of him.
00:10:59But you have to speak in front of him.
00:11:01Yes.
00:11:02Sometimes I feel embarrassed.
00:11:04Siddharth, tell me something.
00:11:06When did you grow up?
00:11:08I saw you on TV a few days ago.
00:11:09You were very young.
00:11:10You have become a handsome boy.
00:11:12I mean, everyone grows up.
00:11:14It took me eight years to grow up.
00:11:15Everyone grows up.
00:11:16Everyone grows up.
00:11:18Actually, these two people whom we have seen so many times..
00:11:20Yes.
00:11:21Palak, tell your mother that you are coming to our show today.
00:11:23Yes.
00:11:24What did she say?
00:11:25But you know, sir, I was very young.
00:11:28Actually, I have a complaint against you.
00:11:30What?
00:11:30You made fun of my name in my childhood.
00:11:33Palak. Palak. Palak.
00:11:34Okay.
00:11:35After that, you introduced a character, Palak.
00:11:37Yes.
00:11:38I still feel that it is based on my name.
00:11:41Because my mother told me that a week ago
00:11:43you told my mother that her daughter's name is very nice.
00:11:46And then you named her Palak.
00:11:47No.
00:11:48Look at that Palak.
00:11:50Do you think there is any similarity?
00:11:52Actually, it is Palak.
00:11:54Yes.
00:11:55It is Palak and there is Paneer as well.
00:11:59So, we were talking about Palak.
00:12:00You are doing your first film with Salman.
00:12:02Yes, sir.
00:12:03I have heard that you are doing your second film with Sanjay Dutt.
00:12:04Yes, sir.
00:12:05And you have come on TV.
00:12:06So, you have come to our show for the first time.
00:12:08I think your wish list must be complete.
00:12:10It is complete, sir. It is complete.
00:12:12And what else do you want to do, Palak?
00:12:13You are doing such good things at such a young age.
00:12:16Sir, I have not thought about the future.
00:12:18For now, I am very happy that Salman sir and Sanjay sir
00:12:21are such a surreal experience for me.
00:12:24Because on the set..
00:12:25I remember one day Salman sir was talking about
00:12:27how much he loved working with Sanjay sir.
00:12:30And in a few weeks of that, the Sanjay sir film got finalised.
00:12:34So, I was like, wow, I will get to experience it myself.
00:12:36Wow, very nice. Congratulations.
00:12:37Thank you, sir.
00:12:40Siddharth is very talented.
00:12:42He works on TV.
00:12:43He is doing films as well.
00:12:44Recently, he sang a song, Tum Mili.
00:12:46You are really so talented that you have thought
00:12:48that I will do whatever Kapil Sharma does.
00:12:51No, no. I am inspired by Salman sir.
00:12:54Okay.
00:12:54Sir does everything.
00:12:55So, I feel that..
00:12:56Sir has told me that I should know everything.
00:12:58Fitness as well.
00:12:59Leave some things.
00:13:00It gives a lot of trouble.
00:13:04Do you follow Salman sir in acting and body building?
00:13:07Or do you get the double feeling of being single?
00:13:11How do you know?
00:13:12What do I know?
00:13:14Have I come from somewhere else?
00:13:17Everyone's story is the same.
00:13:20Vinali, please welcome her.
00:13:21She has come to our show for the first time.
00:13:26You are looking so beautiful in Indian attire.
00:13:28It feels like we have come to congratulate you
00:13:29for your reception.
00:13:31Vinali's name itself is very nice.
00:13:33It feels like there is a flavour of vanilla ice-cream.
00:13:35Your name makes the mouth sweet.
00:13:37Mr. Nadeem was saying that if someone takes your name twice
00:13:40his cough gets cured.
00:13:44Shall we try?
00:13:46We both are crazy about it.
00:13:47Vinali.
00:13:50This is getting worse.
00:13:56Vinali, what does it mean?
00:13:58My name means pure.
00:14:00Pure?
00:14:01Like me.
00:14:02Is there adulteration in everything else?
00:14:03What do you think?
00:14:05I am new, right?
00:14:06So, it means pure.
00:14:07There won't be any more without adulteration.
00:14:09But just in case.
00:14:11Vinali means V and Nali.
00:14:17Salman sir has taken a vow.
00:14:19He is pulling my leg since two days.
00:14:20Now, I will be quiet.
00:14:22Till the time the promotion goes on
00:14:23this tradition will continue.
00:14:26How was the casting?
00:14:28Tell us a little bit about it.
00:14:30I got a call from my brother.
00:14:34Okay.
00:14:35I was shooting and I got a call from my brother.
00:14:37Someone came and said that Salman sir has called.
00:14:40I told him that I will talk to him later.
00:14:42He said that Salman sir is a dancer.
00:14:43So, I thought..
00:14:47I thought that..
00:14:49I thought that..
00:14:54No.
00:14:55First, I was not from Malad West.
00:14:59Yes.
00:14:59So, I got a call.
00:15:01I thought that..
00:15:03No, Salman.
00:15:04The main guy.
00:15:05Main guy.
00:15:07Main guy.
00:15:08I said, main guy?
00:15:11So, the director said that he will come in a while.
00:15:13So, I reached Manatee and talked to him.
00:15:16He said that Raghav is a film.
00:15:18First, you have to do the choreography.
00:15:23You have to act in the film.
00:15:25You come.
00:15:30That was the pause.
00:15:33I thought that I will come in a while.
00:15:37I was nervous.
00:15:38What did I say to my brother?
00:15:39I said that I will come tomorrow.
00:15:40He said that send me the address on WhatsApp.
00:15:41I said that I will come.
00:15:42He said that take the address from somewhere else.
00:15:44I said that I will come.
00:15:45I was so nervous that I thought that
00:15:49this shouldn't happen in the film.
00:15:51Salman, what did you think about Raghav that you should take him?
00:15:55No, there was nothing like that.
00:16:05Whatever he has done, I didn't want him to do it at all.
00:16:09I faced a lot of difficulties in that.
00:16:12Okay.
00:16:12I wanted to see him as a hero.
00:16:15He was entering as a comedian.
00:16:19No, I got a lot of help from him.
00:16:22My brother told me that I will come on such a big screen
00:16:24and if I do this much, I will look bad.
00:16:27So, every coincidence..
00:16:28I could see that. That's why I had to reshoot your work.
00:16:32I mean, yes.
00:16:33I mean, I give a lot of takes.
00:16:36You are an open-hearted person.
00:16:37I am an open-hearted person.
00:16:39Everyone's continuity is equal.
00:16:41Not just his.
00:16:42Like this.
00:16:43Sometimes like this.
00:16:45Sometimes like this.
00:16:46In every shot..
00:16:48How will you match it?
00:16:50He is used to watching TV.
00:16:52Yes.
00:16:53He has understood everything.
00:16:54I mean, I spread a little.
00:16:56He has understood the continuity.
00:16:58There was no moustache in one scene.
00:17:00Then he got a moustache.
00:17:02In one shot, there were spectacles.
00:17:03In another shot, there were no spectacles.
00:17:06Distracted.
00:17:07The action is over.
00:17:08He is looking somewhere else.
00:17:10We are used to multi-cam set-up.
00:17:12Yes. And secondly, I still can't believe
00:17:15that you are doing a film with Salman Khan.
00:17:18So, as soon as he says, okay, action..
00:17:19Brother comes and says, take.
00:17:23So, how can a person remember the continuity?
00:17:26You are in that dream.
00:17:29You are in a dream.
00:17:30This is not real.
00:17:31I mean, I can't believe it.
00:17:33I am so proud of you, bro.
00:17:34You have..
00:17:35And then..
00:17:36And then, the day after tomorrow is the shooting.
00:17:37Yes.
00:17:39He is sitting in Dehradun.
00:17:42Okay.
00:17:43No, no. He has left.
00:17:44This is Raghav's thing.
00:17:45He has left in the jungle.
00:17:46He has left in the mountains.
00:17:47He is scuba diving in the sea.
00:17:50Brother, even you do this.
00:17:52Look, a little bit.
00:17:55I have learnt this from sir.
00:17:58All the chitter-potter celebrities we have sat here..
00:18:01Sir used to have an umbrella.
00:18:02Chitter-potter.
00:18:03He used to have that.
00:18:04He used to bring a lot of apples and mangoes.
00:18:06Brother, whether it is sunlight or storm..
00:18:08We are sitting outside.
00:18:09If someone is so attached to nature..
00:18:11I mean, I love this thing about him.
00:18:13And I learn this thing from him.
00:18:15No matter how tall or big you become..
00:18:17Don't lose your simplicity.
00:18:19Amazing.
00:18:19I learn that from you, brother.
00:18:22Shehnaaz, you have been in that show
00:18:24which Salman bhai hosts.
00:18:25Now, you are also coming in Salman bhai's film.
00:18:27So, was there any payment left for that?
00:18:29That you got in the film.
00:18:31I got very less payment in that.
00:18:33I was the cheapest.
00:18:34And I came out as the most expensive.
00:18:36Wow!
00:18:40When he claps..
00:18:42He forgets half of the things.
00:18:46Now, everyone is laughing.
00:18:47They are not clapping.
00:18:48Yes.
00:18:48She is laughing.
00:18:49Be careful. She gets disturbed.
00:18:50So, tell us.
00:18:53What is it called?
00:18:55Aata maaji satakli.
00:18:56That happens.
00:18:58Okay, so..
00:19:00What did you ask?
00:19:03I mean..
00:19:04You didn't even clap.
00:19:05You still forgot.
00:19:06I forgot because of the claps.
00:19:09Okay.
00:19:09It is continuing.
00:19:10Okay.
00:19:11So, I wanted to say that when I came to your show
00:19:13we posted a reel on Instagram.
00:19:15Yes.
00:19:15I got so many messages from boys
00:19:17asking me to introduce them to Shehnaaz.
00:19:19Some had decent comments.
00:19:21I checked their profiles too.
00:19:22But they were decent boys.
00:19:24So, if I get so many comments
00:19:25how many would you know?
00:19:27So, how many boys love you?
00:19:29I mean to say that.
00:19:31So, it's a good thing.
00:19:32They love me.
00:19:33I am lovely.
00:19:34I love people..
00:19:36I hope I don't get it wrong.
00:19:40She got it wrong.
00:19:42We understood.
00:19:44We are made to spread love to the world.
00:19:47Right?
00:19:48So, everyone should spread love.
00:19:50But boys..
00:19:51No, he is saying to a particular person.
00:19:55A..
00:19:55Yes.
00:19:56I mean, I am ready to love.
00:19:58I am ready to move on.
00:20:01But I am allowed to love the boy I love.
00:20:05The boy who loves you
00:20:09is better.
00:20:10Yes.
00:20:11You love him
00:20:12and he won't love you.
00:20:13That's true.
00:20:14Sir, you are wrong.
00:20:16I will love him first.
00:20:17Then I will make him love me.
00:20:19Okay.
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:23That's a good thing.
00:20:25I got it wrong for the first time.
00:20:27You will realise later
00:20:29how wrong you were.
00:20:31But you are ready to move on.
00:20:35Yes.
00:20:36Say, bring it on.
00:20:38Bring it on, man.
00:20:43Okay.
00:20:43This was the only time
00:20:45when Sid passed away a long time ago.
00:20:49And then on social media
00:20:52he was praised by everyone.
00:20:55Now he is no more.
00:20:57He himself..
00:20:58He would want
00:21:01someone to come into his life.
00:21:04He wants to get married and have kids.
00:21:06But is there anyone on social media
00:21:08who will praise him?
00:21:09Will he remain single all his life?
00:21:13And all the people he praises
00:21:15if he chooses one of them
00:21:16he will say that he is fine.
00:21:18That's right.
00:21:20Don't listen to the world.
00:21:21Don't listen to nonsense.
00:21:22Listen to your heart.
00:21:24Got it?
00:21:25Now move on in life.
00:21:26That's it.
00:21:28Thank you, sir.
00:21:30Friends, it's time to invite another guest
00:21:33who is someone's brother.
00:21:34He is the singer whose new songs are a hit.
00:21:37His 25-year-old songs are still going on.
00:21:40And you will understand what's going on
00:21:41when I call his name.
00:21:42Please welcome Mr. Sukbir.
00:21:47How are you, brother?
00:21:49Welcome, brother.
00:21:50Welcome.
00:21:51How are you, sir?
00:21:52I am good, sir.
00:21:52Welcome, Mr. Sukbir.
00:21:54How are you?
00:21:55Thank you so much, sir.
00:21:56You should sit next to the person
00:21:58whom you get along with the most.
00:22:00As soon as I started talking
00:22:01you sat down.
00:22:03How are you?
00:22:04Please have a seat, sir.
00:22:06Mr. Salman, as we have seen in the trailer
00:22:10your three brothers
00:22:12are trying to convince you to get married.
00:22:15After watching the trailer
00:22:16Mr. Sohail and Mr. Bhaas said
00:22:17that they have never listened to me.
00:22:18And you are listening to them.
00:22:20They have never listened to me.
00:22:22Okay.
00:22:27Now they are listening to me.
00:22:32Such a brilliant song.
00:22:33This is Billi Billi Akhawali.
00:22:37As soon as I hear it, I feel like drinking milk.
00:22:41I feel like licking a bowl.
00:22:45I feel like holding a mouse as a cat
00:22:47and launching it.
00:22:50Mouse of the year.
00:22:52My God, Kapil. Kapil, my God.
00:22:54Look at him.
00:22:55Hello, sir.
00:22:58Karan.
00:22:59How was Zugato?
00:23:00Very nice, sir.
00:23:01Amazing.
00:23:02Can I call you a mother?
00:23:04Why?
00:23:04She delivers and you are also delivering.
00:23:09Archu, I bow to you.
00:23:11Hi.
00:23:12Mr. Salman, I bow to your thighs.
00:23:17By the way, Pooja, you are looking ravishing.
00:23:20My God, look at your boys.
00:23:25They are so strong.
00:23:27They are strong.
00:23:29How are you?
00:23:30Good.
00:23:30Mr. Sukbir, I have been your fan
00:23:32since like the before-common era.
00:23:35Seriously.
00:23:36Like, oh my God!
00:23:40Okay, now that I am here
00:23:41I am here to do my coffee show.
00:23:43So let me begin.
00:23:45Ladies and gentlemen,
00:23:47welcome to Coffee With Churan.
00:23:49Powered by the Kapil Sharma Show.
00:23:54For my first guest, I'd like to introduce Jo Aayenge
00:23:59yaha in a bit, who's very fit and dete hain hit pe hit.
00:24:03Please welcome.
00:24:04Same man, same.
00:24:05Wow, amazing.
00:24:07Main sabse pehle aapka shukriya da karna chahata hui.
00:24:12He is so spot on.
00:24:19Bhaijaan, namaskar.
00:24:24Kya hua?
00:24:26Maza ha gaya. Sach kehna hu.
00:24:32Kapil Sharma Show mein aaj Sitaro ka buffet laga hu hai.
00:24:35Buffet!
00:24:38Ek se badkar ek khalakaar hain.
00:24:40Yeh doi jagah pe ho sakta hai.
00:24:43Pehla, jahaan pe Salman bhai ki film ho.
00:24:46Doosra, agar film ho Salman bhai ki.
00:24:52Lekin, aaj toh mahaul bilkul alag hai.
00:24:55Aaj toh nahi cheez ho rahi hai.
00:24:57Salman bhai ki film aa rahi hai aaj.
00:24:59Kya baat?
00:25:02Salman sahab, kuch din pehle meri film aa rahi thi.
00:25:04Toh aapne promotion kiya tha.
00:25:06Reel banayi thi mere saath.
00:25:07Aapko yaad hoga.
00:25:10Toh main bhi aapki film aa rahi hai.
00:25:11Main kuch karna chahata hu aapke liye.
00:25:14Jo aap kahein.
00:25:15Jo jeeja ji bolenge, wo main karunga.
00:25:18Jeeja ji!
00:25:19Aap bolein, helicopter se latak ke aana hai.
00:25:21Wo ho sakta hai.
00:25:22Aap bolein, train ko rokhna hai.
00:25:24Wo ho sakta hai.
00:25:25Agar aap bolein ki aag lagani hai.
00:25:27Toh wo bhi ho sakta hai.
00:25:28Jo aap bolenge, isko karwa dunga main.
00:25:34No, no, no, no.
00:25:35Main aag waag nahi.
00:25:36Mujhko aag me se garam-garam chatke lagte hain.
00:25:39Baat agar AC 16 pe ho, din main aag lagwa lunga.
00:25:43Chenta mat karo, children.
00:25:44Main sirf mazaag kar rahe hain.
00:25:45Of course, I know, Akki.
00:25:47I just love your sense of humour.
00:25:52Jab yeh aap aata hu, gili gili kisse hain, karte hoon toh mereko.
00:25:55Gili gili kisse hain, aap kya gharo?
00:25:58But kisse hain toh gili gili hoti hain.
00:26:00Koi bhel thodi hai, gili sukhi ka option milega.
00:26:05Paide Sukhi bhaji, you should make that song.
00:26:06Bana dete hain.
00:26:07Gili gili kisse soni hain.
00:26:08Gili gili kisse soni hain.
00:26:11Dande mundeyaan miss soni hain.
00:26:13Tere piche firn kawaarein.
00:26:17Bada hai kamal ka step hai.
00:26:18Lekin, bhaji aap inki baat na sunen, gandhi-gandhi baatein karte hain.
00:26:23Gandhi-gandhi baatein.
00:26:24Stupid.
00:26:26Aap dekh rahe hain.
00:26:27Aap yeh youngsters aaye main.
00:26:28Bachhe bhi aaye main.
00:26:29Kya seekhega desh?
00:26:30Yeh dekho.
00:26:31Itna smart londa hain.
00:26:32Kya baat hai.
00:26:33Itna slo-mo hain yeh.
00:26:34Ghazab ka.
00:26:35Kamal ka slo-mo hain yeh.
00:26:36Ek ladki ne isko valentine pe bula hai.
00:26:38Raksha Bandhan pe pauncha hai yeh.
00:26:46Palak ji, aaye kaise hain aap?
00:26:48Aapki jo sister hai, Shweta ji, unko meri tarah se hi.
00:26:53Oh, correction, correction.
00:26:54Sister nahi, unki mummy hain.
00:26:56Kya baat kar raha hai?
00:26:57Haan.
00:26:58Nahi, nahi.
00:26:59Sachhi.
00:27:00Sachhi.
00:27:01Kasam se.
00:27:02Maini maan pa.
00:27:04Oh my God.
00:27:05Mujhe lagta hai.
00:27:06Mujhe lagta hai inki mummy ko
00:27:08scheme mil gayi.
00:27:0921 din mein khubsoorti double ho jaa.
00:27:15Okay, okay.
00:27:16Now, Raksha.
00:27:17Now that you're here.
00:27:18Sabse introduction hogaya.
00:27:19Why don't you get your seat.
00:27:20Just baith jao.
00:27:21Main nahi baithunga.
00:27:22Tu kya chahata hai?
00:27:23Main baith jao?
00:27:24Kaam karna band kar doon?
00:27:25Nahi.
00:27:26Main kaam karna chahata hoon.
00:27:27Main aage padna.
00:27:28Main toh chahata hoon ki yeh jo baithawa Siddharth
00:27:29iski biopic mein main kaam karoon.
00:27:31No, no.
00:27:32I want you to sit.
00:27:33Ka matlab hum chahate hi.
00:27:34Tu air hi hai.
00:27:35Baith karte hoon.
00:27:36Woh kya baat?
00:27:37Kuch baat si.
00:27:38Tamaar tohaar hoi.
00:27:39Toh kare baat.
00:27:40Hum baat karab na.
00:27:41That is what I want to say.
00:27:42Aaja.
00:27:43Matlab.
00:27:44Aap keh rahe hain.
00:27:45Waise hi.
00:27:46Matlab.
00:27:47Aise hi.
00:27:48Aise hi.
00:27:49Okay.
00:27:50Fine.
00:27:51Okay.
00:27:52So, let's begin the conversations over a coffee.
00:27:53Yeah, sure.
00:27:54Why not?
00:27:55Yeh kya hai?
00:27:56Coffee.
00:27:57Just try it.
00:27:58Try it.
00:27:59It's really amazing.
00:28:00Chee.
00:28:01Ganbe.
00:28:02All right.
00:28:03To begin the conversations.
00:28:04Yeah.
00:28:05I'd like to ask.
00:28:06Aapko Salman bhai ke baare mein aisi kaun si cheez hai jo bohot zyada pasand hai?
00:28:10Inki bachelor life.
00:28:11Oh.
00:28:12Kya hota na ki, dekhiye, na aapko ek zindagi ki sachchayi batana chahata hoon.
00:28:20Jab insaan bachelor hota hai, toh tiger zinda rehta hai.
00:28:23Lekin wahi, jab married ho jata toh, shayad tiger shadminda ho jata hai.
00:28:28Being bachelor is very important, you know.
00:28:34Okay.
00:28:35Now tell me.
00:28:36Agar Salman bhai ke farmhouse pe hain, unke ghar mein party ho.
00:28:40Toh sabse pehle wahan par kaun paunchega?
00:28:43Party.
00:28:44Bhaijaan ke ghar mein rakhoge, toh mehmannawazi ke liye Pathan toh aayega.
00:28:52Ami jaan kaha karti thi.
00:28:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:03Ami jaan kaha karti thi.
00:29:05Ami jaan kaha karti thi.
00:29:06Ami jaan kya kerti thi?
00:29:07Main bhool gaya.
00:29:08Yeah.
00:29:09But ami jaan kaha karti thi.
00:29:10Ki kursi ke pehti baan lo.
00:29:12Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:13Ami jaan kaha karti thi.
00:29:15Apni kursi ke pehtiya baan dijiye.
00:29:18Kyonki mausam bigalne wala hai.
00:29:22Ek minute.
00:29:23Hello.
00:29:24Bhai, apan idhar sofa pe baithe ho, yeh kaunsi kursi ke pehti ki baat kar raha hai?
00:29:31Woh toh flight mein hota hai na, kursi ke pehti, woh sab belt.
00:29:35Nahi, problem.
00:29:36Problem kaha hai, maiti hai kaha hai?
00:29:37Haan.
00:29:38Asa hai na, tu disa le Shah Rukh disat nahi.
00:29:40Tara dialogue bolo na, toh tu Shah Rukh bandhte hain.
00:29:43He's just subjugating himself into a Shah Rukh.
00:29:46Continue, continue.
00:29:47Very nice.
00:29:49Bhai jaan, mai kaise bataoon ki, aapne mere liye kya kiya hai?
00:29:56Aapki ek entry se meri Pathan ke chaar chaan lag gaye.
00:30:05Aapne jo cameo kiya hai, ab aap bataiye mai aapke liye kya kar sakta ho?
00:30:08Aap boliye toh, train ke aage se koodhna hai, helicopter se koodhna hai,
00:30:12ya kahin aag lag waniya hai.
00:30:13Aap boliye, main ise kara junga.
00:30:15Ya.
00:30:16Kumse.
00:30:17I told you.
00:30:18Mujhe wo aag mein se, chatka chatka, it's like chataks me.
00:30:22Haan, lekin agar AC 16 pe rakho toh yeh wo bhi kar dega.
00:30:25Yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh.
00:30:30AC chahiye, AC chahiye.
00:30:32AC chahiye, AC.
00:30:34AC chahiye.
00:30:35Full time AC chahiye.
00:30:37Rukh, rukh.
00:30:38Come over here.
00:30:39Yeah.
00:30:40Come, come.
00:30:41Come. Come fast.
00:30:42I am coming. I am coming.
00:30:43I am coming. I am coming.
00:30:45I am coming. I am coming.
00:30:47Now, come. Have a seat.
00:30:48Please sit on the coffee couch.
00:30:49Yeah.
00:30:50Now, let's begin the conversation.
00:30:51By the way, Ruk Ruk, why did you get so late?
00:30:55You know..
00:30:57He is drinking coffee from the mug.
00:30:58In Rs. 1,100.
00:31:00I had lost Rs. 100.
00:31:01So, I was counting that.
00:31:02What are you saying?
00:31:04You are such a big star.
00:31:05You lost Rs. 100 in Rs. 1,100.
00:31:06Think big. Think big.
00:31:08Rs. 100. What are you counting?
00:31:09Hey!
00:31:10I had lost Rs. 100 in Rs. 1,100.
00:31:12So, I was counting that.
00:31:13Oh!
00:31:17Rs. 1,100 crores?
00:31:18Yes. Yes.
00:31:19Do you have an account in your bank
00:31:21or have you put the entire bank in your account?
00:31:24Do you know how much Rs. 1,100 crores is?
00:31:26My God! Someone put so much money in my account.
00:31:34Now, Ruk Ruk, I would like to ask.
00:31:36Did you watch the trailer of Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan?
00:31:38Yes. I watched it.
00:31:40Please tell me.
00:31:41My mother used to say..
00:31:42What?
00:31:45Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan Nahi Ho Sakti.
00:31:47Okay.
00:31:48And Kisi Ki Jaan Kisi Ka Bhai Nahi Ho Sakti.
00:31:51But he is Salman Khan.
00:31:53Anything can happen here.
00:31:56Yes.
00:31:59So, Ruk Ruk, why don't you tell me
00:32:01which is your next film?
00:32:03Hey!
00:32:03What?
00:32:04Madan Chopra.
00:32:05Madan Chopra?
00:32:06No movie of mine is next.
00:32:08Okay.
00:32:09All of them are beautiful.
00:32:13All of them are beautiful.
00:32:16Stop it. Stop it.
00:32:18My mother used to say..
00:32:19Hey, mother..
00:32:21Your mother used to say everything.
00:32:22Yes.
00:32:23Hey, you also say something.
00:32:25Mother used to say..
00:32:26Yes.
00:32:28Mother used to say..
00:32:31I don't want to play.
00:32:33Take him out.
00:32:34Okay. Okay.
00:32:35This brings us to the most exciting part of the show.
00:32:38The rapid fire round.
00:32:41Wait a minute.
00:32:43Rapid fire.
00:32:49You don't have to go to the battle of Plassey.
00:32:51I will just ask questions and you have to answer.
00:32:53Come, come. Sit, sit.
00:32:54Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
00:32:55Why not?
00:32:55Okay, let's begin the rapid fire round.
00:32:57The first question.
00:32:58Akki, to you.
00:32:59Yeah.
00:32:59If you wake up tomorrow morning
00:33:00and you see that you are Salman Khan,
00:33:02what will you do?
00:33:03If I wake up tomorrow morning and I am Salman Khan
00:33:05then why will I wake up in the morning?
00:33:09If I have to wake up as Salman Khan
00:33:11then I will be there at 4 o'clock.
00:33:14Okay, then the same question to you.
00:33:16Wait, wait.
00:33:16If you wake up tomorrow morning
00:33:17and you see that you are Salman Khan,
00:33:18what will you do?
00:33:20I can't answer this.
00:33:22But I do know
00:33:23that if Nawaz was here instead of me,
00:33:25what would he say?
00:33:26What?
00:33:28Now, tell me.
00:33:29If I..
00:33:32Boss, boss, boss.
00:33:34If I had woken up instead of Salman Khan
00:33:36then I swear, I would have taken a deep breath
00:33:39and eaten biryani for 15 minutes
00:33:42and then slept.
00:33:45That's amazing, man.
00:33:47I would have eaten and then slept.
00:33:48I would have eaten and then slept.
00:33:50I would have eaten the biryani of Sohail, Arbaaz,
00:33:53Shera and Saab.
00:33:55You, Faijal.
00:33:59That's really touching.
00:34:01Friends, the way you saw
00:34:04how a good and a good poet
00:34:07started mimicking the producer.
00:34:11I know how to do it.
00:34:12That's why I do it.
00:34:13I just know how to see.
00:34:14I will show you if I have the talent.
00:34:16Yes, I know how to do it but I am doing it properly.
00:34:23It's not that I am doing Nawaz
00:34:26and I can smell Ajay Devgn from behind.
00:34:28Not that.
00:34:30I know.
00:34:32But you asked a good question.
00:34:34What would you have said if Ajay Devgn was here?
00:34:36What?
00:34:42I don't have a name.
00:34:47People just call me by my name.
00:34:50By my name.
00:34:56You mimic very well.
00:34:58Is there a competition of different voices here?
00:35:02Stop him.
00:35:03What is he doing?
00:35:04You guys deal with each other.
00:35:07What do I have to do with you two?
00:35:15Hey!
00:35:16Hey!
00:35:21So should I die?
00:35:23I don't have any feelings.
00:35:25My dog is a dog.
00:35:26Your dog is Tommy.
00:35:29I was just saying
00:35:31that when you are doing so well, why do you need to do more?
00:35:34There is someone else.
00:35:36Show us.
00:35:38Do the whole thing here.
00:35:39Ladies and gentlemen.
00:35:40Did you see how two mimicry artists meet?
00:35:43They pull each other's hair and kill each other.
00:35:45Thank God, I am not mimicking anyone.
00:35:49So you enjoy the rest of the show.
00:35:50We have done the coffee count.
00:36:02Kapil.
00:36:03Yes, sir.
00:36:04What is his name?
00:36:05The one who mimicked Akki.
00:36:07Vikalp.
00:36:07Vikalp.
00:36:10Very good.
00:36:14Amazing.
00:36:17Amazing.
00:36:18You know, I see him
00:36:20when I see him without any sound.
00:36:25It feels like Akki is the one talking.
00:36:27Amazing.
00:36:28Everyone else mimics each other.
00:36:31But you have captured their character.
00:36:34You have captured their soul.
00:36:35You are not mimicking.
00:36:37It feels like when you come in front
00:36:39you are doing exactly what Akki does.
00:36:43It is amazing.
00:36:45Amazing.
00:36:47Wish you all the best, brother.
00:36:48Fantastic job.
00:36:51Thank you, sir.
00:36:54Thank you, guys.
00:36:55A big round of applause for our team.
00:37:00Friends, our film's main actress, Pooja Hegde.
00:37:04I would like to give you some knowledge about her.
00:37:06She knows many languages.
00:37:07She knows Tullu, Kannada, Marathi, Hindi and English.
00:37:13She knows many languages.
00:37:15Pooja, did you want to become an actor from the beginning
00:37:16or did you want to become a guide outside the Taj Mahal?
00:37:20So many languages. It is a big thing.
00:37:24I didn't know all the languages when I was born.
00:37:27I learnt them.
00:37:28We used to speak Tullu at home.
00:37:30Okay.
00:37:30I was born and brought up in Mumbai.
00:37:33I can speak Marathi a little.
00:37:36When I started in the Telugu industry
00:37:39I couldn't understand anything.
00:37:42I couldn't even say a word.
00:37:44Then I learnt it little by little.
00:37:46Now, I can even dub for myself in Telugu.
00:37:51So, my dream of becoming a guide didn't come true.
00:37:56But I became an actor.
00:37:57You are an amazing actor.
00:37:59You know, people make rumours about you.
00:38:01They say that you have done so much work in the South.
00:38:04Sometimes, when you go from Mumbai to the South
00:38:06you tell the pilot that there is a coconut tree here.
00:38:09People say that you have a lot of knowledge.
00:38:11Oh, God!
00:38:12How do you have more knowledge about me?
00:38:16We have a very big team of one person.
00:38:19They tell us.
00:38:22And they have some personal research.
00:38:24Yes.
00:38:25We get so many rumours.
00:38:27We have heard about Shehnaaz.
00:38:29Shehnaaz is such a big fan of Archana
00:38:32that if she wants to buy something for herself
00:38:34she gets it sponsored.
00:38:36Because she is your fan.
00:38:37What nonsense!
00:38:38Archana has got this from a Mytho serial.
00:38:41Can I say this from my heart?
00:38:46Yes, from your heart.
00:38:46I am a fan of your laughter.
00:38:51Because I feel that Kapil Bhai's show is..
00:39:02I don't..
00:39:03I feel that if I call Kapil Bhai
00:39:05he won't feel bad at all.
00:39:06Not at all.
00:39:07Not at all.
00:39:07Otherwise, I will tell Ginni.
00:39:11So, 50 per cent is hers
00:39:14and I think 60 per cent is yours.
00:39:16This is a show of 110 per cent.
00:39:19It's nothing compared to Salman's show.
00:39:21Oh!
00:39:22If you include Salman sir
00:39:24then we won't be able to see you.
00:39:27So, let him be.
00:39:28Keep your show to yourself.
00:39:32And I want to tell you one more thing.
00:39:35You can talk about Shehnaaz as long as you want.
00:39:39Yes.
00:39:39If you are asked to talk about yourself for two minutes
00:39:42what would you like to say?
00:39:44I would like to say that
00:39:47I understand jokes very late.
00:39:50Sorry, guys.
00:39:50It's not that I wasn't laughing.
00:39:52It's okay. It's being recorded today.
00:39:53The telecast will be later.
00:39:54So, you will understand it later.
00:39:55After watching the telecast.
00:39:58Okay.
00:39:59So, I would like to say that
00:40:00when Salman sir called me for this movie
00:40:06I got a call from an unknown number.
00:40:10So, I block unknown numbers.
00:40:13So, I blocked Salman sir's number.
00:40:17Then someone messaged me
00:40:21that Salman sir is calling you.
00:40:22Oh! Wait.
00:40:24Do you want to do a movie?
00:40:25I said, sir, script.
00:40:26Do you want to do a movie or not?
00:40:28Do you want to do it?
00:40:28Okay.
00:40:29So, you are getting a call from the director.
00:40:31Listen to it.
00:40:31Okay, bye.
00:40:33That's it.
00:40:33That's it.
00:40:36Mr. Jassi, we have heard a rumour about you.
00:40:39When you were in Australia.
00:40:41Yes.
00:40:42You were very fond of dating foreign girls.
00:40:44Wow!
00:40:45And you were so fond of it
00:40:46that you used to go on a date with them
00:40:48after earning money by washing cars.
00:40:49Is it true, Mr. Jassi?
00:40:50It's a bit true and a bit false.
00:40:52I think it's mine.
00:40:52Tell us the truth.
00:40:54What?
00:40:54Should I tell you?
00:40:56The one you are telling about me
00:40:57is not mine.
00:40:58It's the foreign girl's.
00:40:59Is it?
00:41:00Yes, it's true.
00:41:01And the one who washes cars is mine.
00:41:02You have worked very hard.
00:41:03That's great, bro.
00:41:05But half of it is true.
00:41:08We have also heard a rumour about Palak.
00:41:10Normally, there is a parent-teacher meeting
00:41:13once in a month in schools.
00:41:15But in her school, there was a meeting five times
00:41:17because the teacher wanted to meet Shweta Tiwari again and again.
00:41:20So, there were five meetings in this matter.
00:41:21Is it true?
00:41:22Sir, I don't know about that.
00:41:23But I was very mischievous in school.
00:41:26So, no one used to say hi to me.
00:41:28Mischievous?
00:41:29Very mischievous.
00:41:30Oily hair, moustache and all that.
00:41:32So..
00:41:33Even I didn't say hi to anyone.
00:41:35And the day my mom used to come
00:41:37suddenly, 50 kids used to come.
00:41:39Hi, Palak. How are you?
00:41:40I was thinking that my mom must have said
00:41:42that I am very popular.
00:41:43But no, I haven't seen anyone's face since then.
00:41:45But we didn't become friends on that day.
00:41:48That used to happen.
00:41:48I don't know about the teacher.
00:41:51All of you are very fit.
00:41:53Salman is also very fond of gym.
00:41:55Who used to go to the gym with him after the shoot?
00:41:58I have done only biceps and right hand exercises.
00:42:02I see.
00:42:06So, this is my head now.
00:42:08The rest..
00:42:10The rest..
00:42:13Siddharth has done a lot of work in TV.
00:42:16Especially.. I mean..
00:42:17He has done a lot of historical serials.
00:42:19Like, Maharaja and Raja Maharaja.
00:42:21So, Mr. Archana's question was..
00:42:22Do you sleep in pyjamas or Sherwani at night?
00:42:25Do you have a sword in your hand?
00:42:27I sleep in a lungi at night.
00:42:30So that I get good air in my lungs.
00:42:33You get good air.
00:42:34You don't get good air.
00:42:35You don't get good air.
00:42:36You don't get good air.
00:42:46Someone's brother. Someone's brother.
00:42:48Your brother.
00:42:49Your brother. Your brother. Your brother.
00:42:51Yes, brother is there.
00:42:52Oh, my God! What a trailer!
00:42:55What a performance! And what a cast!
00:42:58Thank you. Thank you.
00:42:59Amazing!
00:43:00Wow! What a disturbance!
00:43:05What are you doing here?
00:43:06Listen, why are you talking too much?
00:43:07Look, you just have to get ready.
00:43:09Because we have to watch the first show on the first day.
00:43:11Do you understand?
00:43:11Then you go. I will go separately.
00:43:13But we will go together. Husband and wife.
00:43:15Together as a couple.
00:43:16How many times have I told you?
00:43:17When a beautiful girl has come..
00:43:18I don't know her. Call me Raghav.
00:43:20And today, four girls have come.
00:43:22You weren't supposed to come today.
00:43:24What is he saying?
00:43:26Go and steal Rs. 5000 from my cupboard.
00:43:28Go and drink sugarcane juice.
00:43:30Don't disturb me unnecessarily.
00:43:32Why Rs. 5000? Sugarcane juice costs Rs. 50.
00:43:34Go and drink it in Uttranchal.
00:43:36This is her specialty.
00:43:38She looks very pretty from a distance.
00:43:40As she gets closer, the work gets blurred.
00:43:45His tantrums don't end, right?
00:43:47I know.
00:43:47Not at all.
00:43:48You should have told me earlier.
00:43:49I have booked two seats in the corner unnecessarily.
00:43:51Don't worry about that. You give it to me.
00:43:52There are two seats. I will take Pooja and go.
00:43:55Listen, let's make a bet with them today.
00:43:59You are their wife, right?
00:44:00Here.
00:44:01Yes, here.
00:44:02Your mother is sitting there.
00:44:04Same thing.
00:44:05She should go to her house and talk to her wife.
00:44:11Same thing.
00:44:13This is what we want.
00:44:14Same thing.
00:44:16She looks very pretty from a distance.
00:44:18As she gets closer, the work gets blurred.
00:44:20She looks very pretty from a distance.
00:44:22As she gets closer, the work gets blurred.
00:44:24Where are you trying to trap me?
00:44:26Wow!
00:44:27Let's talk about the real wife.
00:44:28You give me the ticket. I will take Pooja and go.
00:44:30You are a married man.
00:44:32She doesn't have a husband. Who will take her?
00:44:35I am saying this clearly.
00:44:36Don't worry. I will go.
00:44:37No, I will take her.
00:44:38You will go with him.
00:44:40He shouldn't have got married.
00:44:41Same to you.
00:44:46I should have been single like Salman.
00:44:48Same to me.
00:44:53He is saying all this now.
00:44:54But in college, because of me
00:44:56he had a hairstyle in your name.
00:44:57Was it because of me?
00:44:58Yes. Now tell me.
00:45:00What is that?
00:45:01You have three or four cousins.
00:45:02You make fun of them.
00:45:03You are talking about me.
00:45:07I had my hair in your name
00:45:09so that I don't see it in front of my eyes.
00:45:11That's why.
00:45:13You talk so much.
00:45:14It's better to talk about your wife.
00:45:16I went to the restaurant that day.
00:45:18It was written there that nachos cost Rs. 200.
00:45:20It took me half an hour to get the nachos.
00:45:21She said, take out Rs. 200.
00:45:25What nonsense!
00:45:26Nachos cost Rs. 200.
00:45:29He is after my family for no reason.
00:45:31Your family is after you for two years.
00:45:33I can't tell you.
00:45:34His father is always in the post.
00:45:36Even the cat comes to the house.
00:45:38She tells her kids to knock before going to that room.
00:45:41Your father is amazing.
00:45:43Look.
00:45:44Family is family.
00:45:46Learn from Salman.
00:45:46He stays with his family even today.
00:45:49His brother is Arbaaz.
00:45:50Your brother is Chalbaaz.
00:45:55His brother is 14 years old.
00:45:56He has been punished for 15 years.
00:45:59Look, what a cultured family you have.
00:46:10Oh, God!
00:46:12Bindu!
00:46:14Bindu!
00:46:15Listen to me.
00:46:16Hold this.
00:46:17Mom.
00:46:18Oh, my God!
00:46:20Oh, my God!
00:46:22Asia's number one bachelor.
00:46:26Mr. Salman.
00:46:28Mr. Salman.
00:46:32Accept my humble greetings.
00:46:35I welcome you.
00:46:37Salman, ask Mukesh.
00:46:38Look at the casting.
00:46:39You don't look like a mother and a son.
00:46:42Wrong casting.
00:46:43Sir, I will forget the line.
00:46:45No.
00:46:49Pooja, where are you?
00:46:53Pooja.
00:46:57I didn't wear my glasses.
00:46:59Pooja, act a little.
00:47:02Mom, what are you giving me?
00:47:04When she can act with Allu Arjun
00:47:09she can't act with you.
00:47:11What?
00:47:15She forgot to wear her glasses.
00:47:16She wore two bangles.
00:47:17Do you remember that?
00:47:18Since Allu Arjun has been in Pushpa's jungle
00:47:20they had to come out.
00:47:25Did you see, Bindu?
00:47:26I told you that you look like a fox.
00:47:29That's why son-in-law is calling us wild.
00:47:31I understood the potato.
00:47:33But this cauliflower..
00:47:35I will take this back.
00:47:36Don't worry.
00:47:39She has become serious.
00:47:40She has become serious.
00:47:43Wow!
00:47:44Live long, dear.
00:47:48Mom, since when did you start talking like her?
00:47:51Since son-in-law gave me 10 rupees worth of chilli-paneer.
00:47:57Why are you shouting?
00:47:58She is standing in Jogeshwari.
00:48:00Speak softly.
00:48:02Since son-in-law gave me chilli-paneer..
00:48:06Yes.
00:48:07Why are you speaking so softly?
00:48:08She is sitting on your lap.
00:48:09Since son-in-law gave me 10 rupees worth of chilli-paneer..
00:48:13Yes.
00:48:20Whose line is this? Tell me.
00:48:21It's mom's. What else should I do?
00:48:23It's time for you to give up.
00:48:25Son-in-law has called. Tell me.
00:48:26Okay.
00:48:29Sorry.
00:48:30Did you see that?
00:48:32In between..
00:48:34Sorry.
00:48:35It's okay.
00:48:35What's going on?
00:48:37It happens.
00:48:39It's okay. What else should I do?
00:48:40Talk about your son-in-law, Mom.
00:48:42Mr. Salman, do you know?
00:48:44My son-in-law is very innocent.
00:48:46This is Ajay Devgn's film. Sorry.
00:48:49My son-in-law is someone's brother and someone's life.
00:48:54Yes!
00:48:56Whose brother and whose life?
00:48:59It's not written more than this.
00:49:02It can't be improvised.
00:49:08Next.
00:49:09Laugh once more.
00:49:10Whose brother and whose life?
00:49:11Yes.
00:49:12One minute.
00:49:13Laugh once more.
00:49:14Yes.
00:49:15One more line.
00:49:20Son-in-law gave me chilli-paneer.
00:49:22And you made Mr. Sharma Salman Khan.
00:49:24Give me 10 rupees worth of Manchurian.
00:49:27I will make you a Pooja Hegde.
00:49:29You tell me.
00:49:29No. No. No.
00:49:32Mom, please.
00:49:34Please keep quiet.
00:49:35There are many people sitting here.
00:49:36Keep quiet.
00:49:37There are many people sitting here.
00:49:38They are standing. What will they think?
00:49:39They will keep thinking about many people.
00:49:42You think about me, Siddharth.
00:49:45And who will think about Raghav?
00:49:48Raghav, if his dad was here today..
00:49:50..he would have been very happy to see you.
00:49:52Why?
00:49:53Because he likes cockroaches a lot.
00:49:57Really.
00:50:00Palak, say thank you to me.
00:50:04Thank you, aunty.
00:50:04Who said thank you to you?
00:50:07Because I told Shweta that your daughter will be beautiful.
00:50:12And look, she is beautiful.
00:50:13Isn't she?
00:50:15But I am angry with Shweta.
00:50:18Because she lied to me.
00:50:20What?
00:50:21That my daughter will also be beautiful.
00:50:23Isn't she?
00:50:28Chiku's stomach is full of Chiku.
00:50:30Not strawberry.
00:50:31Yes.
00:50:33Then Chiku's stomach should have been full of Chiku.
00:50:35Where did this potato fever come from?
00:50:42Stop feeding me sweets.
00:50:44I am done with you.
00:50:45I am coming.
00:50:46No, wait.
00:50:47I am coming.
00:50:48Wait, I will tell the guests.
00:50:49Listen, I am making vegetable curry with potatoes and cauliflower.
00:50:51Everyone will have food.
00:50:52No, no. No one will eat.
00:50:53Come on.
00:50:54You eat first.
00:51:01Hello.
00:51:02You were doing your singing and dancing session here.
00:51:07I was watching from behind.
00:51:08It was fun.
00:51:10But if you had done it for some more time
00:51:11then I would have lost my beard.
00:51:17Mr. Sharma, I..
00:51:19Wait a minute. I am dreaming that this is the truth.
00:51:22Salman Khan.
00:51:23Yes, Salman Khan has come for real.
00:51:25He must be your brother. He is my life.
00:51:31Yes.
00:51:34Mr. Sharma, tell me something.
00:51:35Yes.
00:51:36Is your comedy going up and down?
00:51:39Why?
00:51:40The new producer has brought so many people here.
00:51:43They have come for the film promotion.
00:51:45The film is a super hit.
00:51:48It is a super hit.
00:51:50Sir, I saw the promo trailer.
00:51:52It was a great trailer.
00:51:58I have done a similar shooting in South India.
00:52:01I have seen that look.
00:52:03When I was coming from South India
00:52:04they used to bring small medu for me.
00:52:06Medu is big.
00:52:07It is not big. It is this small.
00:52:11I can eat six at a time.
00:52:13You are always worried about food, old lady.
00:52:16Sir, I am always worried about food
00:52:17because you are not.
00:52:19The guests have come.
00:52:21Did you ask them about food even once?
00:52:23No.
00:52:23Did you ask?
00:52:24Ms. Archana, did you ask?
00:52:25No.
00:52:25He never asks.
00:52:27He just sits and talks in the interview.
00:52:30He talks so much.
00:52:31When there is a small break
00:52:33he starts singing songs.
00:52:39And then he asks us to keep smiling and laughing.
00:52:43If there is something in the stomach
00:52:46then the person will laugh and smile.
00:52:49Food is a very important thing.
00:52:51Why does a person do everything?
00:52:53He does it for his stomach.
00:52:55Except for the chief minister.
00:52:56Why?
00:52:57He doesn't do it for his stomach.
00:52:58He does it for the state.
00:53:15Old lady, even last time he came out laughing.
00:53:19The producer knows that you are funny.
00:53:20Why are you forcing him?
00:53:22No, if that is the case..
00:53:24Mr. Armaan.
00:53:24Yes.
00:53:25Can I tell you something good?
00:53:26Tell me.
00:53:27I won't tell you.
00:53:28You will tell me the good news
00:53:29and then scold me.
00:53:34You will tell me the good news.
00:53:35I keep having fun.
00:53:37Ms. Shehnaaz, how are you?
00:53:39Your hair..
00:53:42I can see the boys' hair.
00:53:47It is possible that there is a boy inside.
00:53:52I wanted to ask you something.
00:53:54If you have to take a decision in life
00:53:57do you listen to your heart or to Gil?
00:54:03Do you listen to Gil?
00:54:04I don't have a brain.
00:54:06I only have a heart.
00:54:07So I listen to my heart.
00:54:09That's good.
00:54:10She is like a brother.
00:54:13Mr. Jassi Gil, I wanted to ask you something.
00:54:15Yes, do you listen to your heart or to Gil?
00:54:17You will ask him the same question, right?
00:54:19How can we narrate the same joke
00:54:21in just one episode?
00:54:22No, Mr. Pooja.
00:54:24To narrate the same joke
00:54:26we keep a gap of at least six episodes.
00:54:35Mr. Pooja, you..
00:54:38In Miss Universe..
00:54:40You were a positive end, right?
00:54:41Yes, I was a positive end.
00:54:42I was also a positive end in Miss Universe.
00:54:45Yes.
00:54:45Yes, but I lost because of a small mistake.
00:54:48Yes, you had a moustache before the final round.
00:54:54Mr. Sharma, is your tongue
00:54:56inspired by Salman Khan's films?
00:54:59Why?
00:54:59It keeps moving.
00:55:01It keeps moving.
00:55:04Wait a minute.
00:55:06Be patient.
00:55:08Isn't it? It's important.
00:55:10Mr. Palak.
00:55:12Hi.
00:55:13You are very cute.
00:55:15You are also very thin.
00:55:18It seems as if someone has taken out the cotton from the pillow.
00:55:23Yes, he has taken out the cotton and given it to someone else.
00:55:28Mr. Sharma, the fruits are lying in front of you, right?
00:55:29Yes.
00:55:30Please cut them.
00:55:31Why are you cutting my words back to back?
00:55:35Sir, please tell him. He troubles me a lot.
00:55:38He doesn't let me finish.
00:55:40Anyway, Mr. Salman, I wanted to tell you.
00:55:43Your bodyguard, Mr. Sehra..
00:55:45Yes.
00:55:46She is very..
00:55:50What?
00:55:51What is so funny about her?
00:55:53I can't remember her face.
00:55:55She is very nice.
00:55:57She is laughing at the previous joke.
00:55:58Yes.
00:56:08You gave me attitude.
00:56:09Yes.
00:56:10Okay.
00:56:13Anyway, I told you.
00:56:14I met Mr. Sehra outside.
00:56:15He is a very cultured man.
00:56:17Really?
00:56:18Yes, I kissed him outside.
00:56:21Didn't he do this?
00:56:24No, he got angry.
00:56:26But he didn't raise his hand on me.
00:56:28He came to me, held my hand and punched me.
00:56:36He didn't raise his own hand.
00:56:38He is very cultured.
00:56:39He is very cultured.
00:56:40This is called self-defence, not violence.
00:56:42Oh, my God!
00:56:44Bring it on!
00:56:45Oh, my God!
00:56:47Bring it on!
00:56:48Not power, but willpower.
00:56:50Oh, yeah!
00:56:51You didn't apply so much lipstick.
00:56:53You have eaten so much.
00:56:54No, Mr. Sehra punched me in the face.
00:56:55Yes.
00:56:56Doll..
00:56:57Can I make a mistake?
00:56:58You have worn a Punjabi suit.
00:57:00And you have worn a South Indian dress.
00:57:03This is it.
00:57:03She is from Pan India.
00:57:04Pan India.
00:57:05Yes.
00:57:06She is from Pan India.
00:57:06She is from Pan India.
00:57:07She is saying something.
00:57:07What?
00:57:08What did you do to get the feel of your film?
00:57:10Pan India, doll.
00:57:11Oh, I see.
00:57:13Wow, nice.
00:57:14Nice, sir.
00:57:14She is saying that she will make a mistake.
00:57:16I am telling her to make a lot of mistakes.
00:57:17How many mistakes will she make?
00:57:18No, I am making a lot of mistakes.
00:57:19Nice one.
00:57:20I like it.
00:57:21Because there are a lot of people here.
00:57:25Sir is very smart.
00:57:26He has been picked up from Punjab.
00:57:28He is from UP.
00:57:29He has been picked up.
00:57:30Dehradun.
00:57:31I mean, everyone is from different states.
00:57:33Yes, he has been picked up.
00:57:34He had gone by truck from North to South.
00:57:36Mr. Alok.
00:57:37Mr. Upesh is here.
00:57:42Pan India is the new thing.
00:57:44Yes.
00:57:45That's great.
00:57:45Doll, you didn't tell us what you came here for.
00:57:48Sir, we want to get married.
00:57:52Mr. Salman Khan is saying that he is very lonely.
00:57:55How did you think that he will marry you?
00:57:58No, I am not talking about him.
00:57:59He is out of our range.
00:58:03But he has brought a lot of boys.
00:58:06A lot of boys.
00:58:09Who do you like among them?
00:58:11Should I tell you?
00:58:13Tell us.
00:58:15No, I am telling you the truth.
00:58:16I am telling you once.
00:58:17I am very lonely.
00:58:18You have lipstick on your teeth.
00:58:20You should have kissed me from behind.
00:58:27I was just telling you that I am very lonely.
00:58:30I am so lonely that when I wash my clothes
00:58:32I hug a boy's shirt.
00:58:35I am so lonely.
00:58:36A few days ago..
00:58:38Where is Mr. Nadeem?
00:58:39Nadeem.
00:58:40I got hold of his shirt.
00:58:43I hugged him.
00:58:44Then I got rid of that shirt with great difficulty.
00:58:46Why?
00:58:47Because he was also there in the shirt.
00:58:53I have another friend.
00:58:54Who?
00:58:55He is very lonely these days.
00:58:57Who is he?
00:58:58He is sitting next to Mr. Nadeem.
00:58:59He can't spend nights alone.
00:59:02I have heard.
00:59:02Yes.
00:59:03And he cries these days.
00:59:06Yes.
00:59:06So I think he will be the best suitable match for you.
00:59:13His name is Peepee.
00:59:14Come, Peepee.
00:59:14Peepee.
00:59:15Look at him.
00:59:16He is right in front of you.
00:59:18Marry him.
00:59:19You will be five or six years old.
00:59:21It's okay.
00:59:22Don't worry.
00:59:23Peepee.
00:59:24Life goes on.
00:59:26It's not like that.
00:59:27Look.
00:59:28Look, what a nice couple.
00:59:30Peepee, I told you.
00:59:31One day, I will get you the best.
00:59:34Trust me.
00:59:35You are getting the best.
00:59:36The mistake is that I am fat from outside.
00:59:38I am very thin from inside.
00:59:42I am telling you the truth.
00:59:42I got my x-ray done yesterday.
00:59:44I am a skeleton from inside.
00:59:46Look, Peepee.
00:59:48There is an advantage in this.
00:59:50This boy in the day.
00:59:52And this girl at night.
00:59:56You are right.
00:59:57You will get multiple options in life.
00:59:58What else do you want?
01:00:02Yes.
01:00:03Peepee, you must be the first man
01:00:04who will marry a plot, not a girl.
01:00:09I told you.
01:00:09I am a skeleton from inside.
01:00:11Skeleton from inside.
01:00:12There is nothing like that.
01:00:13But should I tell you the truth?
01:00:16Yes.
01:00:16Peepee stays with Mr. Salman for 24 hours.
01:00:20So, you will remain single.
01:00:24It's like that.
01:00:25Salman..
01:00:26No, it's not like that.
01:00:27Why?
01:00:27The people I stay with, they are single.
01:00:30Because of that, I..
01:00:31You have to remain single.
01:00:32I am becoming single.
01:00:34It works the other way.
01:00:36I am telling you.
01:00:37Other way. Other way.
01:00:45Sister. Sister. Sister.
01:00:48You don't have to act like an ambulance.
01:00:51She is my mother.
01:00:53She is her husband's daughter.
01:00:55Husband's daughter.
01:00:55I mean, she is my sister.
01:00:56Okay.
01:00:57Her name is Rani.
01:00:58Sister.
01:01:00She is the same one, right?
01:01:00The one who jumps around.
01:01:01Yes, she is my sister.
01:01:03Sister, she is the one who sings.
01:01:04Yes, she is the one.
01:01:05Sister, the latest..
01:01:06I don't think so.
01:01:09I love you, sister.
01:01:10Yes. Yes. Yes.
01:01:12Once you comment, no one listens to you.
01:01:14She is the same one.
01:01:15Sister, tell me straight.
01:01:16Why are you confusing Salman Khan?
01:01:22Sister, she is..
01:01:27What happened?
01:01:28Slow motion.
01:01:29Sister, he only understands slow motion.
01:01:30Yes.
01:01:32Sister, she is Palak's daughter.
01:01:34Shweta's daughter.
01:01:35Yes.
01:01:36Isn't it great?
01:01:36Her mother looks like her sister.
01:01:38And my sister looks like my mother.
01:01:44Sister, tell me.
01:01:45Who is my future brother-in-law?
01:01:47Future brother-in-law?
01:01:50There are future brothers-in-law.
01:01:52Sister, if there were future brothers-in-law
01:01:53then they would have been.
01:01:55What happened?
01:01:56Sister, I am joking.
01:01:58Tell me, who is my brother-in-law?
01:02:00I have chosen him.
01:02:02But I don't know if he will choose me or not.
01:02:04That's right, sister.
01:02:05Why will Pandey marry you?
01:02:07What?
01:02:07Pandey?
01:02:09I am not talking about Pandey.
01:02:11Then look at Das's age.
01:02:13He is 65 years old.
01:02:14I am not talking about Das.
01:02:17Before you get me married to Mr. Nadeem
01:02:21I will tell you clearly that I am talking about Jassi Gill.
01:02:29Sister, he is married.
01:02:32So what?
01:02:33Two SIM cards fit in a mobile phone.
01:02:40Sister, he has only one SIM card
01:02:43with which I chat.
01:02:47What is going on?
01:02:48Nothing is going on.
01:02:48Nothing is going on.
01:02:49I have to go home.
01:02:50Nothing is going on.
01:02:53How will Raghav live?
01:02:55Sister, the boy is fine.
01:02:57But he is a bit slow.
01:02:58No.
01:03:00He just does his slow motion in the dance.
01:03:02He is very fast.
01:03:04Yes.
01:03:05A while ago, I saw him outside.
01:03:07A girl was hurt.
01:03:08He said, I.
01:03:10She said, love you and held him.
01:03:15He is very fast.
01:03:16Sister, marry him.
01:03:19You will always be welcome.
01:03:20Why? How?
01:03:21Because the world may end if there is an earthquake.
01:03:23But a cockroach is always alive.
01:03:29I had such a dream.
01:03:31A tiger is alive.
01:03:32I had such a dream.
01:03:34I have to settle for a living cockroach.
01:03:38Sister, you said okay to Raghav.
01:03:40But yes, there is another boy, Siddharth.
01:03:44Yes, he is good.
01:03:45I like him.
01:03:46He is smart. He dances.
01:03:48Yes, he is good.
01:03:49But he is not like us.
01:03:50He is short, cute and handsome.
01:03:53At least, he should have a clean life.
01:03:55For that, he will have to prove something.
01:03:57Oh, my God!
01:03:59Siddharth, backflip.
01:04:00What can he do for us?
01:04:02Sister, he is very good.
01:04:04Backflip.
01:04:05Backflip.
01:04:06Backflip.
01:04:08Backflip.
01:04:09I will prove myself.
01:04:15He will do it.
01:04:25That's it.
01:04:30Wow!
01:04:31Wow! Impressive.
01:04:33Siddharth, I liked it.
01:04:34Did you come from the show by car or did you come like this?
01:04:36From home.
01:04:37Wow!
01:04:39Amazing!
01:04:39Wow!
01:04:41I accept this marriage.
01:04:44Now, sister will do this.
01:04:48No.
01:04:49I can't do it.
01:04:50I can't do it.
01:04:52No, I am ready to marry you.
01:04:54Okay.
01:04:55Because I need a safety mat to practice.
01:04:59But I don't know how to do a stunt.
01:05:02Shall I do it?
01:05:03Yes, do it.
01:05:04Move back.
01:05:06Sister.
01:05:08You must have seen
01:05:09how people keep their hands on the ground
01:05:12and take their feet in the air.
01:05:14You must have seen it.
01:05:15I won't keep my hands on the ground.
01:05:18I will take my feet in the air.
01:05:19Wow!
01:05:20I am not joking.
01:05:22How is it?
01:05:24How is it, Amol?
01:05:26Wait a minute. I need a carpet.
01:05:29Yes.
01:05:32Oh, my God!
01:05:37Did you count?
01:05:38No.
01:05:39Did you count?
01:05:39I didn't do it.
01:05:40Did you count?
01:05:41You are making space for me.
01:05:42Did you count?
01:05:42You are making space for me.
01:05:44Show me your talent.
01:05:46I will do it for you.
01:05:47Look at the cow.
01:05:48Okay.
01:05:55I was talking about your marriage.
01:05:57You are doing a stunt here.
01:05:59I thought you were going to do a stunt.
01:06:00I was making space for you.
01:06:01I see.
01:06:02I thought so.
01:06:03You showed me your talent.
01:06:06Sister, I have written an essay for Mr. Salman.
01:06:09I see.
01:06:10Niband.
01:06:10Niband.
01:06:12Tell him what you have written.
01:06:14Sister, I have written an essay.
01:06:20Tell him what you have written.
01:06:22Sister, he is asking you
01:06:23how to tell him what you have written.
01:06:26Tell him what you have written.
01:06:30Sister, how do I tell him?
01:06:32I have not written it.
01:06:34I have written it like this.
01:06:39Tell him what you have written.
01:06:41Tell him what you have written.
01:06:43People are waiting for you.
01:06:45Show him your talent.
01:06:47Sister, you have confused me.
01:06:49I have forgotten.
01:06:50I have written it like this.
01:06:52How do I tell him?
01:06:52Should I tell him like this or like this?
01:06:54Hey!
01:06:55Hey!
01:06:57You have confused me.
01:07:01You don't have to tell him anything.
01:07:03Go inside. Go home. Go to your village.
01:07:05What are you saying?
01:07:06Sorry, sister. Sorry.
01:07:07This is not a matter of sorry.
01:07:08There are so many people here.
01:07:09I am promoting you in the middle of my promotion.
01:07:12I am giving you space.
01:07:13So that you can tell your essay.
01:07:14You are standing here to listen to Mr. Salman.
01:07:16You are talking nonsense here.
01:07:17Is this a good thing?
01:07:18Sorry, sister.
01:07:19Sorry is fine. But is this a good thing?
01:07:21Sorry.
01:07:22Okay. I forgive you.
01:07:23You don't have to cry.
01:07:25The girl is talented. She is not bad.
01:07:27What is this?
01:07:28Sorry, sister.
01:07:29Yes, I have accepted it.
01:07:30I have heard it. I have forgiven you.
01:07:32Okay?
01:07:32What is this? When you write like this..
01:07:34I have written it.
01:07:34You have said it.
01:07:39Say sorry.
01:07:40Sorry.
01:07:41I have forgiven you.
01:07:43Okay?
01:07:45What have I done?
01:07:46I have forgiven you.
01:07:49All of them have forgiven you.
01:07:52Okay?
01:07:53Are you done?
01:07:54I am just telling you that the girl is not bad.
01:07:56Really sorry.
01:07:56Say it. Say it.
01:08:01How many times will you say sorry?
01:08:04You have made me crazy.
01:08:07I think I am not getting selected for the boy.
01:08:09I am so sorry.
01:08:14I have forgiven you. Come.
01:08:16Come. Sit.
01:08:17Thank you, sister.
01:08:21Go from here.
01:08:22I am sorry. I will see you again.
01:08:25Bye, sir.
01:08:33We have seen you in the train fighting sequence many times.
01:08:37In Gontled and Pathan.
01:08:38You have a fight sequence in this too.
01:08:40You are a superstar.
01:08:41Do you remember when you were the latest in the train?
01:08:45During my college days.
01:08:46Okay.
01:08:47During my college days, I used to travel by train.
01:08:50Okay.
01:08:50Sometimes, I used to feel that if I travel by taxi
01:08:55then I would not get the money.
01:08:56I used to study in Xaviers.
01:09:00And in Elphinstone too.
01:09:03So when I used to go to Xaviers, I used to take a taxi.
01:09:06I used to stop in one lane.
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:08And I used to say that I got the money from the first man.
01:09:11Okay.
01:09:14And from there, Gul.
01:09:16Oh, my God!
01:09:18So I started modelling.
01:09:20My work started going well in the modelling industry.
01:09:23So I said, let's take a taxi.
01:09:26I saw that I really didn't have the money.
01:09:27So I said, let's go home.
01:09:28Let's go to the galaxy.
01:09:29I will give you the galaxy.
01:09:30So I stopped a taxi driver.
01:09:32That taxi driver came with me.
01:09:35And he entered the galaxy.
01:09:38And he kept telling me in the taxi
01:09:41that he has seen me somewhere.
01:09:44He has seen me somewhere.
01:09:46As soon as I said that I am coming to see the first man
01:09:50with the money
01:09:51he started cursing me.
01:09:56So I understood that he is the same taxi driver
01:10:00whom I took to Xaviers once.
01:10:02And I didn't give him the money.
01:10:04So I started laughing.
01:10:05He also started laughing.
01:10:06I said, I will give you the interest
01:10:09that I didn't give you at that time
01:10:11and today's interest.
01:10:15Go for it.
01:10:15You are stuck.
01:10:16What do I do with this?
01:10:20You are the Salman Khan of goats.
01:10:21Where have you come from?
01:10:29Someone had put a vacuum in your mouth.
01:10:31What happened to you?
01:10:33I will make so many holes in you.
01:10:35Go, you liar.
01:10:37I will make so many holes in you
01:10:40that you will get confused.
01:10:42Where to breathe and..
01:10:45Where?
01:10:46I am already confused.
01:10:47The hair, your name, the dialogue.
01:10:49Your face is like a hole in a scorpion.
01:10:52I don't understand what you want to do.
01:10:55Sir, you have come for the first time.
01:10:56So please give me a professional introduction.
01:10:58I am meeting him for the first time.
01:10:59He is just a friend from college.
01:11:01You understand the rest.
01:11:04Salman, I am very happy to meet you.
01:11:06He is calling you Salman.
01:11:07Your own brother doesn't call you brother.
01:11:09You are calling him brother.
01:11:10If you have so much problem with me
01:11:13that you have made him do this
01:11:15then make me do something else.
01:11:16I didn't make him do anything.
01:11:18There is a meditation camp of dogs in Bhopal.
01:11:21You have to make sure that no dog opens its eyes.
01:11:23He doesn't listen to me.
01:11:26This is work.
01:11:27Who meditates with a dog?
01:11:29You don't do it. Everyone else does it.
01:11:34Make me do something.
01:11:35I have come from Amritsar to Mumbai.
01:11:36Did you see the ceiling?
01:11:38The one with the bender.
01:11:39You have to wash it from below.
01:11:40There is already water on the ceiling.
01:11:42You have to wash it.
01:11:43That is salty water.
01:11:44Hold it with your hand and give it to me.
01:11:45You have to give it to me with sweet water.
01:11:47You don't do any work.
01:11:49Why are you making me do this?
01:11:51Make me do something on Sony channel.
01:11:52I have given you work on Sony channel.
01:11:53Ask her. She is sitting on the channel.
01:11:55Yes, please.
01:11:55Sony channel has said that
01:11:56it won't come within a radius of 10 kilometres.
01:11:59I am ready to pay you for that too.
01:12:01It is a good work.
01:12:02But if you see the magic of his hands.
01:12:04He puts oil in his hands
01:12:05and straightens the dog's tail in 10 minutes.
01:12:08He has a lot of talent.
01:12:11Salman, I don't have any talent in that.
01:12:13My friend has made such a good oil.
01:12:15Yes.
01:12:15You can apply it on anything.
01:12:17See, he is giving me credit there too.
01:12:21Once I kept the dog in it.
01:12:22The dog said, listen to me.
01:12:24If anyone comes to steal, you have to bark loudly.
01:12:27The dog said, you listen to me.
01:12:29You haven't fed me milk for three days.
01:12:31What will a thief come to your house to do?
01:12:32The dog said.
01:12:36Seriously, the dog took out his leash and gave it to him.
01:12:38He said, keep it as a mortgage.
01:12:40Feed me something.
01:12:41Yes.
01:12:42Salman, he kept the dog.
01:12:43He is saying to the dog that he is bound by his habit.
01:12:44He said, have you ever thought
01:12:46that you will come to Kapil Sharma's show?
01:12:50He kept the dog.
01:12:51He said, have you ever thought
01:12:52that you will come to Kapil Sharma's house?
01:12:55Yes, then he told me.
01:12:56He came.
01:13:03Wow.
01:13:05Sir, I was in college.
01:13:06I mean, you are seeing this now.
01:13:08I had also made a body in college.
01:13:09The same one that I loved.
01:13:11Yes.
01:13:11Very tight.
01:13:12I don't know, as soon as he made the body, his face got spoilt.
01:13:16I don't know what's going on.
01:13:18He reacted.
01:13:20Sir, he doesn't know.
01:13:21He is the one who eats potato Kulchas.
01:13:23The big mouth.
01:13:24If he has a smart face, he thinks his face is spoilt.
01:13:27Okay, I eat potato Kulchas in Amritsar.
01:13:29You were born in Scotland.
01:13:30Do you know how he used to diet?
01:13:31He used to go to people outside the gym.
01:13:33You used to throw the yellow egg.
01:13:35You didn't throw it.
01:13:36He used to say, give it to me.
01:13:38After that, there are a lot of yellow pills.
01:13:42Rajvi, do you know what comes after darkness?
01:13:44Billet Barley.
01:13:45What comes before darkness?
01:13:46Jogeshwari.
01:13:46If you know all the ways, why don't you drive a rickshaw?
01:13:50You come here and trouble me for no reason.
01:13:54When he saw four girls, he is just jealous.
01:13:57Why should I be jealous?
01:13:58You are the grandson of Alan Musk.
01:14:00I am not.
01:14:02I am a handsome and smart man.
01:14:04Smart man? I can't tell you.
01:14:06The day he was going to get married, he went to see a girl.
01:14:08The girl brought tea. She asked him how much sugar he will take.
01:14:10He said, if the sugar increases, give me flour.
01:14:14Go, man.
01:14:15And he himself saw 15 girls before marriage.
01:14:17He refused all of them.
01:14:18Then someone told him.
01:14:19He said, ask a boy to wear a sari.
01:14:21Maybe he will like it.
01:14:24After marriage, he went for a honeymoon.
01:14:26The hotel owner said, here is the suite.
01:14:28His wife said, we don't want a suite.
01:14:29We don't have a budget. He said, this is from us.
01:14:31He didn't get a good husband.
01:14:32You should get a good room.
01:14:34So, he got this gift.
01:14:36Normally, when you go to a hotel, they keep a towel on the bed.
01:14:40He went inside after the honeymoon.
01:14:42They had kept a towel as a slap.
01:14:44They said, don't you dare get on the bed.
01:14:46He knows so much about my nuptial night and weddings.
01:14:49Sir, he knows about my weddings and nuptial night
01:14:50from the last 25 episodes.
01:14:52I didn't tell you one thing.
01:14:53Which one?
01:14:54The girl who brought tea.
01:14:55So?
01:14:56She went to see the tea.
01:14:56She said, ask a boy to wear a sari.
01:14:58He said, this is from us.
01:15:02Sir, one minute.
01:15:04This is too much.
01:15:05Sir, I am a handsome man from inside.
01:15:06You were looking good because of him.
01:15:11What have you done?
01:15:12But Salman, your trailer for the film is very good.
01:15:17Thank you very much, sir.
01:15:18All the best for your movie.
01:15:19On behalf of all of us, we wish you best of luck.
01:15:25In your life.
01:15:26Because you need it badly.
01:15:29As long as you have such friends, nothing will happen to you.
01:15:34Seriously.
01:15:43Friends, a big round of applause.
01:15:45For someone's brother, someone's life.
01:15:47For the entire star cast. Come on, sir.
01:15:51Salman, thank you so much.
01:15:53And thank you all very much.