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00:00What's up Wolfang fam it's your boy Kid back at it again continuing my journey of the detectives this should be episode 5
00:16You know ladies and gentlemen right now go get your snacks as ladies and gentlemen snacks. It's not included damn it
00:22You got to bring your own don't forget to Like comment subscribe
00:24Absolutely free to do shout out to the patrons as well. Thank you so much for your support. Let's get it
00:29Snacks not included let's freaking go
00:59I
01:20Then suggested that
01:22Detective constable Louie should set up an identity parade and asked him to round up six men
01:29Who looked like the man in the police video at least they stuck to procedure for once?
01:34Unfortunately detective constable Louie misunderstood my instructions and arrived at West End Central with six men who look like sting
01:48This is going to help
01:52What do you suggest I do with them sir everybody knows they're incompetent a bungling
01:59They're dishonest
02:16They're just a pain in the
02:18Oh
02:27Razer I don't have to ask the chief constable for a special permission. Of course
02:32Do you want me to approach the chief constable for you, sir?
02:36I'll do it
02:39Chief constable, yes
02:43Briggs and Louie for the case of the missing seaman
02:48As
02:54Fucking hilarious
03:19I
03:21Bet them work they say pop
03:23bit of foreign travel
03:26I'll have a quick word with a local shunned arm shower and a shave and then out with a frow lines
03:30Maybe take a look at the casbah
03:34Stroll down the vapor barn three points in the fountain back to the hotel for lucky videos
03:39Hey, this is Jersey not bloody Kuala Lumpur
03:48What time is it? Hang on
03:55Come on what time is it? Hang on. Hang on
04:031020
04:07You get into duty free you'll buy anything why
04:10This I didn't spend all my money on poncy perfume money spent on personal hygiene is never wasted Bob
04:18Just smell that sierra
04:24All I can smell is 40 quid's worth of old spice one naked flame and your jawbone will go up like a fireball
04:37No idea have you beaver musk
04:44Barbara Coughlin's bra
04:48Oh
05:01Well, then he should have been here to meet us by now who should
05:05The bloke from the Jersey Police who's supposed to be looking after us detective Bojolet
05:12Something like that Oh something, you know like the wine you mean you can't remember his name
05:18I've told you
05:19body name
05:21like a make of a wine be be
05:25Bollinger
05:29Burgundy Burgundy, this is brilliant. This is
05:40Yeah, it's Jim look I've been in an hour and there's no sign of these two detectives from the smoke
05:45Yes, of course, I'm sure I know detectives look like well I've seen here's bloody tourists
05:56Happy sure knows what they look like
06:06Thanks in the boat that's four pound fifty, please
06:15We're abroad haggle you are
06:22Two pound fifty
06:25Okay, three pound fifty
06:29four pound and a miniature
06:32Miniature
06:34Okay, okay four pound fifty and a packet of cigars five pound and two miniatures
06:45I
06:48Suck
06:56This stuff tastes like opal fruits my nose going red. Yes
07:07It was good of the super to give us a paid holiday like this wasn't it we're supposed to be on a special assignment
07:13Yeah
07:14We don't want to kill ourselves. Do it. What are we supposed to be doing looking for some missing semen?
07:25Leggy blokes with tattoos
07:27Oh
07:41She got excited
07:45Dizzy rose the racehorse the one that always comes first
07:58You know love gift
08:05It's worth a small fortune five hundred thousand pounds a pint
08:10That's more expensive than one of those cocktails
08:14Somebody kidnapped the horse
08:18Showed him a good time and then smuggled the stuff out the country. The word is it was brought to Jersey
08:24Someone here who knows about horses has probably got it stashed away in a chest freezer by now
08:28No, we got to do is find it
08:31Well should be easy enough trying to find two fingers of frozen horse fluid in an area the size of Glamorgan
08:41No, no, no
08:44Ever since we left London, it's been I feel sick and to watch I
08:50Don't like foreign food
08:52You've forgotten the case file I didn't say you've forgotten the case file
08:57No
08:58But you will when you find out I have
09:02I didn't forget to bring the case file. Well, where is it by now? I
09:09Should think it's just ducking at Poole Harbor. You left it on the ferry. Oh for God's sake relax
09:15Holiday
09:17Confidential case file and you leave it on the ferry. We don't need the bloody case file
09:23Anyway, we can use our heads
09:26I've been doing some homework
09:29Who do you think on this island would want to buy half a pint of horse semen
09:35Is there a Jersey branch of camera?
09:37What is it the message from Interpol, no, I ripped it out the phone book look under H for horses
09:44The Royal Jersey Bloodstock Association you see don't be ridiculous
09:51They breed horses
09:53So does the Queen Mother
10:00The only people on this island who've got anything to do with horses we gotta start something with horses
10:04Only people on this island who've got anything to do with horses we gotta start something the Royal the Royal
10:10Jersey Bloodstock Association, we mustn't allow ourselves to be intimidated by fancy organizations with fancy titles
10:18Horse breeding is very big business
10:22We could be up against some very high-powered villains I
10:27Suppose a big semen ring on the charge sheet would look pretty impressive
10:34I think that during the course of this investigation, we're gonna find some very respectable people with some very dirty linen
10:41and so in summation gentlemen
10:44The continuing health of the bloodstock reserve is a great credit to the standard of equi management here in the states of Jersey
10:52and moreover
10:57Hope help button it granddad
11:01God father
11:05What's this one Dave he's lippy
11:11Okay chatterbox you like to talk let's chat who the hell are you don't worry who you are who are we
11:20Yeah
11:23Fucking pop yeah, I
11:25Think I need to leave the room nobody leaves until we get some answers. I'm calling the police
11:32We are
11:34Then this is a total abuse of common decency and civil liberties
11:40Communist as well
11:45Enough of this pussy footing around
11:48Where is it where is what?
11:59You want to play the hard way
12:02We'll
12:04Play the art way you play ball with us and we'll talk turkey with you talk turkey listen old man
12:11You may be the top dog on this little island, but where we come from we eat little fish like you for breakfast
12:18Yeah, just because you're a big cheese in a small pond
12:23Doesn't mean to say you're not small fry when the big fish fly into town
12:29I'm talking about it is some sort of a code. What is trying to say is where's the otter or semen?
12:38Shut you up didn't it we're looking for semen
12:47Pictures of the Queen on the wall
12:50We can all have fancy offices and big fat cigars. We can bloody hell Dave this picture signed
12:59To all my friends at the Royal Jersey Bloodstock Association best wishes and thanks for the crew it said
13:08She offers to be the patron of our association now what the hell is all this about what?
13:15Elizabeth are the Queen this
13:17Organization has been in existence for over 200 years and these gentlemen are some of the wealthiest and most highly respected people in the island
13:29A nice one
13:33Okay everybody just calm down
13:35Right I want both your names now you've picked on the wrong people this time my ex son-in-law happens to be a very senior
13:42member of the Jersey Police Force
13:44Hello, Mary get me Jim Bergerac
13:58She's
14:01In perfect condition yes, but is she in season
14:06Just look at the way your stallions are acting up
14:09Listen if the super find out about that little boardroom fiasco. We're writing it any more brilliant suggestions
14:16Yeah, I suggest that we make the most of this cushy number and go out and have a bloody good time
14:22I'm gonna move on taxidermy in a minute
14:28Oh
14:31On your face nothing
14:35Fake tan
14:38Tell you what you learn something about a bloke when you share a room with him, that's not fake time
14:43I've got this this special skin. You know sensitive it that reflects the ultraviolet light
14:49nature town for a fabulous natural golden complexion I
14:55Didn't buy it
14:56It was with that stuff. We confiscated off that dodgy market straw
15:00product of Iraq
15:03Keep away from eyes all very natural
15:06Looks like you wasn't it who used to say that aftershave was for sissies now. You're all doing it
15:12You'd never catch me wearing fight time just to impress the women
15:16I
15:26Don't use baby talcum powder
15:29It's athletes foot powder actually I bought a job lot
15:36You don't use my scrubbing brush to clean your feet don't be ridiculous I used your toothbrush
15:46Taxi
15:56Any excuse just to go pulling women
16:00What do you suggest? Hey, can we go down B? Jams and ask me if they've got half a pint of horse semen in the freezer
16:06Yes, we'll be right down just as soon as bloody Michelle Pfeiffer is finished a makeover
16:13Sorry, sir
16:17Mr. Hungerford's made an official complaint has he well it was Dave's idea, sir
16:26It was bloody stupid
16:35Wealthy Arab horse breeder on his way to Jersey so things might be starting to happen
16:40Detective sergeant Berger could be around to see you tomorrow and tell you what to do in the meantime stay out of harm's way
16:46And keep a low profile
16:48No profile. Yes
16:50I'll deal with the complaint at this end, but I don't want any more rough stuff. You're not in New York
16:56Just try to blend in and don't draw attention to yourselves understood
17:00understood sir I
17:04Could get athletes chest because of you
17:06I
17:15Have a headbanger for me, please
17:27Not the super said we were supposed to be keeping a low profile the air-conditioning unit set it off
17:33Well he wants us to keep out of harm's way as well enjoy ourselves, I suppose see right
17:43Down the hatch Cheers
17:49Damn thirsty
18:02Oh
18:17Disco I well super said blend in let's mingle with the locals
18:29Oh my god
18:32Oh
18:59Brilliant
19:03Oh
19:11Smoking in the state
19:13No, no finish your cigarette
19:16Sorry, mr. Andrews, and when you finished it get your coat and get off my property
19:23And if we didn't have to attend to that little business this afternoon, you'd be going with it. Mr. Andrews colleges
19:30Are you still here?
19:33Oh shit
19:39How much does he know I don't know that's a
19:44Word gets around in it
19:47Now by 7 this evening, it'll all be over anyway
19:50Yes, mr. Andrews
19:52And once the mayor is in full
19:55Nobody will be able to prove the thing
19:58Oh
20:02Bob Louie, yeah. Oh
20:07Well, come in
20:09Oh
20:11You've come to do the sheets
20:13You
20:26Didn't even bother reporting to me like you were told to
20:28You fail to inform me of any of your activities and you go bursting into the AGM of the Royal Jersey Bloodstock Association
20:35like the SA bloody-ass
20:37Waving your pea shooters about I don't let us have any bullets
20:43Influential people in the island breathing down my neck now if I had my way I put you both back on a ferry to pool
20:49however
20:51Your superintendent tells me in this case. You are investigating is about to become interesting. The word is
20:58The Sultan of Benares is coming to Jersey
21:04The Sultan of Benares
21:06Isn't he that bloke with 20 wives?
21:0820 wives and 200 of the best racehorses in the world. Now. Why would a man like that one come to Jersey?
21:15Perhaps he's run out of places to hold his stag nights
21:22He wants to buy some semen should imagine he needs it
21:27I
21:33Suppose it could possibly slip in by a boat
21:40Yes, sir
21:43The only thing we don't know is who is he gonna come see you got any ideas
21:53Ideas
21:57File what are you planning to do next? Well, we thought we'd hire a bike
22:06They reckon it's the best way to see the island, you know, you miss so much when you're in a car
22:13I think it will be best if you stay out of our way for now if I need you I'll call you. Yeah, you'll need this
22:22If it bleeps drop everything get yourselves down to the station, all right
22:28In the meantime, enjoy your holiday
22:32I
22:55Think you better see this sir
22:58Some bloke used to be a stable hand down at Sir Arthur Andrews place
23:02Said old Arthur's been expecting a visit from the Sultan of Benares
23:06Said he'd know what that meant
23:08So it's Arthur Andrews, sir, sir, Arthur Andrews
23:12Well, I suppose I better alert those two clowns from London
23:16He's so childish. He gave me the bleeper. I couldn't look after it
23:23The quickest way to get around the island that's what it said in the leaflets and it's my turn to drive
23:29All right, well, it's my turn for the saddle
23:42Look I promise you mr. Bergerac. I don't know anything about it. Calm down Jeff. What's this all about? Mr. Bergerac Arthur?
23:49Andrews asked you to artificially inseminate one of his marriage. Yeah, golden lady is best thoroughbred
23:54Did he tell you which horse would be the sire I assumed it was one of his stable
24:00Okay. Now I want you to call Arthur Andrews and tell him you are sick sick
24:05Yep, and you're gonna send a colleague. No now you can send two colleagues
24:25Your highness this is my stable hand if that is your stable hand
24:33This must be your unstable hand
24:42You're sure these
24:44Horse doctors can be trusted. We have no choice
24:48My regular bet is sick and these are the only two he will recommend but they need no nothing other than this is a routine
24:56insemination
25:00Testing testing testing testing one two three testing
25:07Receiving you loud and clear now remember don't take any chances
25:11I'm sure you both know you're dealing with ruthless men anything nothing of blowing your brains out. Okay
25:18Let's go boys on this isn't gonna work Bob you say horses can smell fear
25:28Come on the horses I can smell it
25:47I
26:00Loving Philly, don't you think lovely?
26:06Testing sorry nothing
26:11Absolutely perfect
26:14How many hands would you say
26:18Oh
26:21Go on just by looking how many hands
26:25What you heard a horse
26:32Business let's get to the business end
26:35Shall we
26:44Better warm our hands up a bit then dive
26:48Wouldn't want to give her a shock would we?
26:51Come on, then get on with it
26:56Right Bob
26:58Off you go
27:01You can't make a move till Andrews produces the scene wouldn't want to be premature we sir
27:10This is a nice horse Bob, why don't you shut up I
27:16Could say stick your arm up and get her ready. I suppose I could borrow your arm. Could I
27:31Okay, Dave I'm going in
27:47The great one-liners
27:52Here it is gentlemen
28:01Oh
28:03Oh
28:29Well done Briggs, thanks Jim
28:34I
28:45Lost me watch
28:55Six o'clock
29:03No
29:34You
29:37All right, ladies and gentlemen, we got to talk about it a lot of you guys
29:41Said that I got to hand it to you all guys
29:43A lot of you guys said that this show is good and this episode did not disappoint. We got to talk about it
29:49Thank you for hanging out. I really had a great time watching this episode guys
29:53Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of great moments from the beginning
29:56You know when you're dealing with this like massage
29:59Bit and the superintendent is, you know getting a massage
30:03I had zero clue that that's the chief constable guy the pain in the ass essential moment there and
30:11After you know, they're little whatever that thing is almost looks like a bike pump
30:17When he was looming that shit up as it was a recipe for disaster I was scared to shit
30:24So for such a funny comedy show they got some moments where I'm like literally just kind of like moving back
30:31On this chair because man that was such a great moment again
30:35I didn't know that there was the chief constable guys or the guys turning around like hey
30:38So yeah, can we send these guys away man and the perfect timing?
30:43With I guess it's the like the blow horn from the cruise ship. Oh my god, man picture-perfect moments there
30:49So I think this was definitely another enjoyable episode. I'm gonna get the guy's name wrong, but Berdegov
30:56I'm just as bad as name Berger Berger
30:59Shit, man. Um, the other cop guy played a hell of a good job
31:04Great acting the bad man there. I have to hand it to him. Excellent. He did excellent on this episode as well
31:11there was such a lot of great one-liners on this episode, but um
31:16My mind is always in the gutter
31:19Dirty mind whatever you want to call it. So all those jokes
31:23Seaman related jokes man, you know about coming in first, you know all these great lines that were happening with these guys, man
31:31If I just imagine myself on this show, there's no how the hell would I be able to keep a straight face man?
31:37Again, we've seen shows with bloopers and stuff where you people just blurt out laughing
31:41I hope that this show at some point has some bloopers because man
31:46These guys for all the great. I don't want to say great work
31:50They do but you know the work that they do man. It is so funny
31:54I don't think I would be able to keep a straight face with these guys with Louis and Briggs man fantastic job by these guys
32:01The simple things to the watch bit going off, you know, you know on many instances the little horse thing
32:08I don't know how I only did that shit a little special effect with that horse bit. Well, that was great
32:14A lot of good moments on this episode and you know with with these guys man
32:19He's got like the Miami Vice kind of shirts, you know
32:22You feel like those Miami, you know vibes and he always wants to kind of go out go get some girls and shit
32:28So that club bit I didn't think much of it with the I guess the you know, fake tan bit
32:34But how great of a scene was it there the nightlight?
32:38And they eventually turn around. It's like disco night and the vibes are there
32:42You know what?
32:43Let's go mingle with the you know, the locals and shit and they turn her out and my golly, you know
32:49Both of them progressively getting worse and worse. He got the face mask on this guy got patterns on his face
32:56Like, you know, uh, like you're playing on I
32:59Guess like Chiefs and Indians, whatever the game was growing up. Yeah, he was looking both. These guys were looking crazy
33:06He was talking smack Louie's talking smack saying now I would never use that shit quickly put in that stuff on there to get fake
33:12Tans, I know I've had a couple friends growing up a couple ladies actually to be honest that we're into those fake tans
33:19man at some point
33:21It just uh, you know, I've told them to their face. I was like, yeah at some point that shit just looks crazy
33:28Unlike and I just doesn't even look realistic at this point. So it just does more harm than good
33:34Yeah, this was a crackin episode the bad guys did good all these semen jokes here the guy with the 20 wives
33:44You know trying to give him a handshake and it now when you had the bad guy and you see him uses
33:51Yeah, his left hand. I believe it was his left hand and you're wondering like
33:54He didn't use the other hand. It all made it all made more sense
33:58Down the road with you know, he's a you know, oh my god, man
34:02I'm just loving this show. The characters are great the adventures that they get into again
34:07I I don't fault the you know, their boss the superintendent essentially, you know wanting to send these guys away
34:13These guys do more harm than good. They do more damage. They they fuck up
34:19You know constantly so these two peas in a pod meant to hell of a cool
34:24Guys, man, they just make
34:26Detectives look so funny. It's it's it's really entertaining
34:30Entertaining
34:31man, and I'm just on the edge of my seat and
34:34Sometimes when you got like a bad guy the music changes or the intimidation factor was there
34:40But man, they do a really good job of providing a lot of serious moments there
34:45You know where you're feeling like oh shit some shit's about to go down and then you have all these joking moments there
34:51You know Louie riding off into the sunset for a second with you know, the horse
34:56Absolutely crazy, oh man, I was just in awe on this episode and I just look forward to seeing more
35:02We can go on and on and on but dope episode great cast
35:07Yeah, the other cop did a hell of a good job
35:10The bad guy did a hell of a good job. Everybody played their part, you know exceptional
35:14So I'm just having a blast watching it. Thanks for watching
35:17More to come, you know, you guys have to stay tuned
35:20But yeah
35:21You guys had told me this was gonna be a good show to watch and I feel like a lot of these episodes have been
35:26bangers this one, especially
35:29Yeah, and we like we like all those type of jokes with the semen shit
35:33So, I mean I can listen to jokes like that. They definitely had a lot of that jokes there and I don't mind it
35:39It was funny as hell. Hopefully you guys enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments down below
35:44You hated it. Let me know you enjoying the show. Let me know etc, etc. No wrong criteria
35:50So thanks guys. See you soon. Peace out. Take care. Be well, don't forget to Like comment subscribe
35:54Absolutely free to do shout out to the patrons as well. We'll see you on the next one. Peace out. Take care