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00:00What's up Wolfpack Fam it's your boy Kid back at it again hope you're doing well
00:14continuing my journey of the detectives with my boys Louie and Briggs what
00:18adventures are gonna lie on this week's episode I gotta stay tuned to find out
00:22ladies and gentlemen snacks it's not included dammit you gotta bring it on
00:25don't forget to Like comment subscribe absolutely free to do and shout out to
00:29the patrons as well thank you for your support let's get this journey started
00:31let's get it snacks not included let's freaking go
00:35let's get it
01:00Oh
01:10get away oh yeah get away
01:16don't do anything dumb
01:29oh no no no cut cut it
01:51what the hell of Bodie and Doyle spotted this time they're rather keen for
01:56technical advisors aren't they? they shouldn't be allowed on the bloody set
01:59calm down Derek just breathe and relax
02:08so gentlemen what enormous hollows have you spotted this time? not enough
02:14buttons on the uniforms balaclavas not the right color? honestly they've no
02:20idea of the... Jane darling fetch me my tablets would you please? you see Donald
02:29Derek Derek you see Derek if you want this thing to be authentic you've got to
02:35think the thing through you've got to think like a policeman I mean this
02:42little scene of yours is supposed to be a hostage situation right right what's
02:46known technically as a situation hostage Alpha Golf Sierra shags now what
02:56you're trying to establish is that that girl is in mortal danger right we know
03:03that in this situation the last thing that a real detective would do is send in
03:08a fully armed SWAT team bloody ridiculous see Donald me old mate
03:13Derek in a situation that's very delicate and lives are at stake the last
03:19thing you want to do is to send in the Chippendales armed with automatic
03:23weapons why exactly wouldn't I send in a SWAT team on a hostage situation isn't
03:34it obvious I mean if this lot come flying in here like that the gunman is
03:39going to shoot the girl yes well there you are then we arrest our case but
03:46that's exactly what's supposed to happen
03:55what is? the girl she's supposed to get shot at what it says in the script
04:09not very nice if you wanted to read your scripts I presume you can read can you
04:15if you'd bothered to read your script you would realize that he wants her
04:19killed because she has been blackmailing him about his secret lover who's his
04:26secret lover? Him. The whole thing is a mosey a set up.
04:36what about him? he is his brother
04:45oh well carry on then oh are you sure positive are you sure you wouldn't like
04:53to speak to the scriptwriter and get him to change the entire storyline if
04:57that's what you want desert you're the boss
05:04right places everybody we'll start up again from the start and this time okay
05:16everybody that's tea sorry everyone that husband of yours wants to take it a bit
05:22easy sweetheart we can only help him so much you know come on
05:30let's get a cup of tea eh? not there bro
05:44you know for one delicious moment there I thought you were going to be a widow
05:48no Jane you won't admit it you had your fingers crossed only two tablets away from
05:54perfect happiness and a half-decent TV series
06:00what do we have here?
06:04great this isn't it? I've got six autographs already today
06:08I reckon that big woman fancies me.
06:11which big woman?
06:13that extra one who's playing the barmaid
06:16every time I pointed out a technical error her eyes were burning into me
06:21after the 13th take she had to be physically restrained from grabbing hold of me
06:25you think every woman fancies you don't you?
06:27big women always go for me Bob
06:29what about you?
06:30what about me?
06:31do you find big birds sexually attractive?
06:46eyelash
06:49funny game isn't it?
06:53these blokes get paid a fortune just for pulling faces and falling over
06:59no no there's more to it than that Bob
07:02I mean acting it's a tricky business
07:05they have special colleges for acting
07:08with their own exams and everything
07:10takes years to do it properly
07:12exams for acting?
07:16what kind of exam do you have for acting?
07:20you have to walk into this big room and pretend to be somebody else
07:24or a tree or something
07:26you have to pretend to be a tree?
07:30or a buzzard or something
07:33well I could do that
07:35oh no you couldn't you see
07:38not without training
07:40you can't just walk in off the street just anybody
07:44and start pretending to be a tree
07:46you'd look ridiculous
07:48I can do better than some of these actors
07:51it's an art Bob
07:53so what's so difficult about being a tree?
07:56I mean you just stand up and put your arms out
08:00alright then Jeremy Irons prove it
08:04what now?
08:07yeah show us how you'd do a tree in an acting exam
08:14this fucking bird
08:16alright
08:27and here's one blowing in the wind
08:31whoop whoop
08:35afternoon Louise
08:37whoop whoop
08:44in your own time
08:47I was just er
08:48just what?
08:50I was just impersonating
08:54an oak tree
08:58an oak tree
09:00blowing in the wind
09:04like I always say there's always a simple rational explanation for everything
09:10do you do other impressions Louis?
09:12I mean do you ever pretend to be a police officer?
09:16no sir
09:17yes sir
09:23now listen to me you two
09:25half of the force would give their right arms for this cushy little number
09:31but from what I've heard you two haven't exactly been endearing yourself to our thespian friends
09:36oh sir
09:38I mean that business with the interrogation scene that wasn't our fault
09:43we were just trying to show what really happens when you get a suspect down the neck
09:48you didn't know it was a real chair
09:50no I thought it was a prop
09:53you know when an impulsive one falls to pieces when you
09:56when you hit somebody over the head
09:58I hardly touched him sir
10:00he was just a little sort of
10:02bunk
10:05little pop on the head
10:08with a chair
10:10I don't want to know
10:12just remember we like to keep on good terms with these television people
10:15and you should be doing everything you can to help them
10:19you shouldn't be hitting them over the head with chairs
10:23or pretending to be a tree
10:28it just doesn't look right
10:30no sir
10:33oh and by the way Louis
10:36after your performance just now I think I'll put you in for a transfer
10:40transfer?
10:41yeah
10:42to the special branch
10:46nice one
10:48you got jokes
10:53feeling any better?
10:55yes
10:56I mean all this is it we'll go away for a couple of days
10:59just the two of us
11:01you'd better get out there
11:03no
11:04yes and please try and keep those two idiots away from me will you
11:08I will
11:11come on
11:12yeah
11:18all set Derek
11:20OK Terry you'd better get clear
11:23clearing now
11:24just wait for me to give the word and then let it blow
11:27got it
11:28and remember we only get one shot at this
11:32fingers crossed
11:38the super's right you know we should do more to help out
11:41yeah we could volunteer as extras
11:44extras?
11:45yeah
11:46at least acting's easy pleasy
11:48we could help out on one of them crowd scenes
11:50what actually appear in shot?
11:52yeah
11:53on the telly
11:54why not?
11:59Louis here
12:00technical advisor
12:01television squad
12:04oh blimey it's Crusher down the nick
12:06hello Crusher
12:07what does a teddy bear tree?
12:09a big oak tree yeah
12:11blimey
12:12it looked alright Billick
12:14I didn't think I was an oak tree
12:16I was just pretending to be an oak tree
12:18Bob here comes Derek let's have a word with him
12:20about being extras
12:21hang on Crusher hang on
12:23Derek
12:24not the truncheons again please
12:26no no no no it's just me and Bob we've been thinking
12:29congratulations
12:31say Jess we'd like to help out
12:33with the program
12:35we'd like to help out
12:37with the program
12:40we thought we'd be extras
12:42just little parts in the background
12:44you want to act?
12:46no we'd be tiny little dots in the background
12:48you know passers by
12:50injured drug addicts
12:52well I suppose we'd keep you out of trouble
12:54have a word with the assistant director
12:56see what he wants for the casino scene
12:58you're on
12:59don't suppose you can do any more damage
13:01than you've done already
13:03hello Terry
13:05ready to roll in five minutes
13:07what do you mean who's Terry?
13:09who's Crusher?
13:11carry on
13:13oh shit bro
13:22Terry?
13:24who's Terry?
13:26it's for you
13:35poor dude here man
13:39he's in a wheelchair
14:03wait till the boys at the NIC hear about this
14:06you must be joking
14:09if you think I'm telling
14:11Crusher Collins and Fartlighter Freddy
14:13I'm sitting here
14:15you must be raving
14:17for God's sake Bob relax
14:19it's just that I've never had makeup on before
14:26what?
14:32Christmas fancy dress party
14:341979
14:36I was Jabba the Hutt
14:39that was different
14:41holy shit
14:43you really got carried away
14:47when the lads from Vice had had a few
14:49you had to hide under my furry cape
14:51I remember things you see
14:55well I don't see why I remember such a silly thing
14:57as me being dressed up as a woman
14:59hiding in the lavatory
15:01under a bright green
15:03furry overcoat
15:05what's that?
15:08what on?
15:10I don't know maybe
15:12maybe just you know a little bit more on the nose
15:14just to be on the safe side
15:16oh for God's sake Dave
15:18they won't see you now
15:20you'll be this big at the back of the shot
15:22oh shot
15:24now who's getting all show busy
15:26and carried away
15:28remember to dust his bald spot
15:33some people are so unprofessional
15:36Jane
15:38I was wondering if you could
15:40touch me
15:42sorry
15:44an old showbiz joke
15:46oh that's very funny
15:48couldn't resist the smell of grease paint
15:50eh officer
15:52no we thought we'd help old Derrick out
15:54oh yes good old Derrick
15:56such a sweetie
15:58he's an old pussycat
16:00it's not been well there eh
16:02has he Jane
16:04tell the detective about it Jane
16:06he's having some trouble with a bypass
16:08oh yeah
16:10I've had a bugger of a job getting here myself
16:14fucking guy
16:16it's his heart officer
16:18could drop dead at any minute
16:20Simon
16:22just warning the officer
16:24tell him if anything should happen to your poor old Derrick
16:26he might start getting all suspicious
16:28I know what you policemen are like
16:30they have a rough duty eh
16:33well
16:35must be off on a limb your lines
16:37lines I didn't think you had any lines
16:39no I just thought I'd make some up
16:41you know sort of have something to say when I'm standing in the background
16:43you know
16:45the rhythm method
16:47method acting
16:51oh fuck
16:59anyway
17:03ciao
17:07love it
17:13woah woah woah
17:17look what I found lying in my drawer
17:19where did you get those
17:21a friend
17:23they're what's called placebos
17:25they look just like the real thing but they have absolutely no effect
17:27now imagine
17:30imagine what would happen
17:32if they got mixed up with the others
17:34a very
17:36married
17:38widow
17:42standby
17:44and
17:46action
17:48so Ricky
17:50did you deal with
17:52your little problem
17:54I suppose you could call it
17:56the perfect murder
17:59no one suspects you set up the bank job scam
18:01to get rid of the girl
18:03told you
18:05be careful
18:07I won
18:17I never normally win on things like this
18:19oh shit
18:21I don't believe this
18:23but it's true
18:25I never normally win on things like this
18:27it's not a real game
18:29you're just supposed to pretend
18:35Jane darling
18:37bring me my jacket
18:39would you please
18:47I wouldn't worry about it
18:49if I were you
18:51it's your first time
18:53I mean I remember my first
18:56appearance
18:58I was supposed to be a vicious SS officer
19:00in cul-de-s
19:02all I had to do
19:04was walk across the courtyard
19:06look up and shout
19:08Gotten Himmel
19:12could I get it right
19:14I kept shouting
19:16and then looking up
19:18the director said it looked as though a bird
19:20had pooed on my head
19:22oh I was wrecked at the end of it
19:25they cut the scene anyway
19:27another drink
19:29pint
19:31Campari and soda
19:33love it
19:55it's all part of being
19:57an extra
19:59that's the point
20:01we're not extras
20:03we're supposed to be
20:05police technical advisors
20:07so you're a policeman then
20:09yeah
20:11I've always wanted to be a police officer
20:13that way I could get younger every day
20:15laughing
20:17laughing
20:19laughing
20:21laughing
20:24laughing
20:26laughing
20:28laughing
20:30laughing
20:32laughing
20:34laughing
20:36laughing
20:38laughing
20:40laughing
20:42laughing
20:44laughing
20:46laughing
20:48laughing
20:50laughing
20:53laughing
20:59laughing
21:03this is great
21:05so what part are you playing then
21:07what's your role
21:09is that supposed to be funny
21:11he meant to be a bird
21:13or what
21:15of course he's a bloody bird
21:17he's not a fireman is he
21:19don't ask it
21:21Oh, God, you've set him off now.
21:24Oh, God. Vision on.
21:29Mr Briggs, Mr Louis Quick, it's Derek.
21:31Another retake, is it?
21:33No, no, he's... he's dead.
21:39Oh, boy.
21:43Sure.
21:52Oh, you two police officers?
21:54Yeah. What happened?
21:56Oh, heart attack. Massive.
21:58Probably brought about by a sudden stress situation.
22:02You're getting hung up on something about roulette.
22:05He wasn't a gambler, was he?
22:10Anyway, I'll need you to sign these papers.
22:14Poor old Derek.
22:15I wonder if I'll get to finish the series.
22:18I'm sure we'll work something out.
22:20Why don't you two run along?
22:21Jane would like to be left alone.
22:23Yeah, um...
22:36Your husband was on medication, wasn't he, Mrs...
22:39Oh, no.
22:40Oh, no.
22:42Oh, no.
22:43Oh, no.
22:44Your husband was on medication, wasn't he, Mrs...
22:46Yes, he was.
22:47You wouldn't happen to have the tablets handy, would you?
22:50Just from my report.
22:51I didn't see any tablets, did you, Jane?
22:54No, no, he must have left them somewhere.
22:56Oh.
22:57Oh, well.
23:03Hey.
23:04That's me there.
23:05And that's me, look.
23:06Waving.
23:07Oh, you didn't wave, did you?
23:09Well, it's better than grinning at the camera, mouthing,
23:13Have we seen enough?
23:14Oh, sir, sir, just one more time, sir.
23:17It's heartening to know, isn't it, lads,
23:19that these two are as bad at acting as they are at police work.
23:22Ain't it funny how you look fatter on the screen?
23:37OK, Louis.
23:39Wait!
23:40Oh, come on, Louis, we've seen it five times.
23:42No, wait, sir.
23:43Stop, wind it back.
23:46What is it, Louis?
23:49You see that?
23:51It can't be, can it?
23:54It's the tablets.
23:56Bloody hell.
24:00Get away!
24:01All of you, get away!
24:05Come on, Jacqueline, don't do anything dumb.
24:12Get out of here.
24:20Let's go, boys.
24:24Cut.
24:28You see, Simon,
24:30you got it all wrong.
24:32We've been around a bit, haven't we, Dave?
24:34And we know a thing or two about murder.
24:38I don't know.
24:39And we know a thing or two about murder.
24:43Murder?
24:45Yes, Mr Kenneth bloody Vrana.
24:48Murder.
24:53It's all right, Dave. There's a wall behind that door.
24:56Oh, no!
25:01Whoops. It's all right, love. He won't get far.
25:04Bob called the flying squad. Adam's surrounded the place.
25:07You'll soon be learning that no matter how good an actor you are,
25:10in the end, somebody will see through you.
25:13Of course, we knew all along.
25:15I suppose you'll want to speak to me, won't you, officer?
25:18I might have known you'd try something silly.
25:20I should have warned you.
25:22Don't you worry about it, love.
25:24We were on to him from the start.
25:26Then we just swung into action like a well-oiled machine.
25:32Now, he's the one we're after and he's the one we'll get.
25:35So let's just put it down to experience, shall we?
25:38What do you say, Bob?
25:42You up?
25:44Yeah.
25:51Shit.
26:05Hey!
26:08Here we go.
26:15Hey!
26:17Hey!
26:34Man, he runs slow if they caught up.
26:44Get them!
26:47Hey!
26:57And in grab-a-grand, you could win a serious...
26:59Oh!
27:00We've got a sensational gotcha Oscar
27:02and don't forget NTV could be coming to your house.
27:05So try... Look...
27:08Erm...
27:10What...
27:12Oh!
27:14Hang on...
27:16Steady, pal, steady.
27:18Come on, lovey, you'll never get away with this.
27:20One false move and Cheggers gets it.
27:25Oh, shit!
27:26Hit the lever!
27:30Yeah!
27:33Nice one.
27:45My boys.
27:50Let's go.
27:52A little null, yeah?
28:00This was cool, man.
28:14Yeah!
28:30All right, ladies and gentlemen,
28:32we got to see Noel.
28:34Hold on a second, this was a cool episode,
28:36a lot of funny-ass little moments, man,
28:38but these dopey cops, man, they crack me up.
28:41And we're just living to see, you know, more episodes, man.
28:44I had a blast watching this.
28:46And music was on point too, a little...
28:48You know, it really set the tone in those moments
28:50when the, you know, bad shit's about to happen.
28:52Hold on, guys. Thank you guys for hanging out.
28:54Oh, man, Louie...
28:56Ladies and gentlemen, Louie and Briggs crack me up.
28:58Two goofballs, man.
29:00I think it created such the perfect atmosphere
29:03where these guys were doing essentially...
29:07It felt like, well, they definitely were doing more harm
29:10than good.
29:12Poor guy, stressed as fuck, man.
29:15And, you know, these guys were not really helping
29:17with the situation, man.
29:19Probably before he's dying and shit,
29:21the last thing the guy, unfortunately,
29:23is thinking about is this guy saying,
29:26you know, I win!
29:28You know, he was so excited that he won.
29:30I think it was number 24 or some shit like that, man.
29:32So Louie and Briggs, two peas in a pod, man.
29:35These guys crack me up.
29:37That Star Wars bit that they were talking about
29:39with the Jabba the Hutt and the Leia
29:41and hiding underneath, man.
29:43I just feel like these guys have a lot of
29:45fucking crazy-ass adventures.
29:47The boss man essentially telling him,
29:51you know, I'm going to take you to...
29:53Yeah, you're going to be transferred essentially
29:55to the special branch. That was cool.
29:57Can we call... I'll just call it Big Bird.
29:59Big Bird was funny as hell,
30:01even with the, you know, moving in the eyes
30:03and just eavesdropping in the scenario.
30:07How could you not hear, you know, he's right there anyway.
30:09So that was some great moments.
30:12I always wonder why in movies,
30:15in like chase scenes and shit,
30:17you'll have like the bad guy,
30:19which I feel like...
30:21He's younger here,
30:23but I think he was in the Inbetweeners.
30:26Was it in the movie?
30:28I think it was Will's dad, but I could be bugging.
30:30I believe it was Will's dad
30:32because he definitely looked familiar.
30:34His voice is very familiar.
30:37He has a, you know, very distinct,
30:39cool, kick-ass voice.
30:41I think that dude played the villain
30:44very, very well.
30:46The music on cue with it,
30:49setting the tone,
30:51because there was that hint with the pills
30:53and all that stuff, which led to, you know,
30:55things happening there,
30:57which is quite eerie.
30:59So it's crazy.
31:01Again, what's crazy is that...
31:03You know, it blows my mind.
31:05These guys, you know, Louis and Briggs,
31:07get chosen for this scenario
31:10where these constables,
31:12you know, advisors
31:14for, you know, this movie bit thing.
31:17So it blows my mind.
31:19These are like, you know,
31:21the worst cops ever.
31:23The worst fucking cops ever.
31:25But you know what? Louis did a good job.
31:27He peeped something there.
31:29But how the hell, in movies or in shows,
31:32I never understood how the hell
31:34the bad guys is running.
31:36They got, like, such a head start.
31:39And then the good guys are catching up.
31:41It's almost too, like, when you watch a horror movie
31:44and you have the innocent person running away
31:46from, like, a Jason or a Michael Myers,
31:48and all of a sudden, they're, like, right behind him.
31:50So that shit just cracks me up,
31:52blows my mind half the time.
31:54I think we had another banger episode.
31:56Them having that chase scene was great.
31:58Them thinking Big Bird was the guy,
32:00you know, switching into there,
32:02taking the guy's hat off.
32:04And then him chasing as well.
32:06And then you see some dogs, you know,
32:08you're hearing some dogs and shit.
32:10And then, like, the feathers going out there.
32:12You know, these two kind of, you know,
32:14doofus kind of cops, man.
32:16It's creating highly intelligent,
32:18you know, like, highly entertaining,
32:20you know, cop show here.
32:22So the detectives have not disappointed yet.
32:25I think there was great lines on this one.
32:28Yeah, throughout the episode.
32:30But you also got that tension moment.
32:32And then, you know, you got, I believe,
32:34his name was Derek.
32:36Essentially, you know, the lady,
32:38the girl that was playing him, you know,
32:40I don't know if it was his wife or not,
32:42but his partner,
32:44like, you know, she was just as devious too.
32:46But now I'm wondering
32:48if she's getting off scotch free
32:50because these guys only think it was the dude, man,
32:52unless he snitches or some shit.
32:54So, yeah, just another enjoyable episode.
32:56Again, I can't say that enough.
32:58Louie and Briggs
33:00are two funny-ass cops
33:02who are definitely looking forward to their dynamic.
33:04They're back and forth with each other.
33:06It goes well.
33:08And, you know, they're higher up.
33:10They're boss men.
33:12I could just feel him
33:14to be just as stressed
33:16as my man Derek there, you know,
33:18minus the heart attack situation there.
33:20Because you got to be
33:22losing brain cells with these two dudes.
33:24So I'm all for it.
33:26The dopier, the better.
33:28You know,
33:30I can easily relate.
33:32You know, I've had my moments
33:34of being, you know, quite silly and quite dumb
33:36and all that stuff.
33:38So dope episode, great moments.
33:40You know,
33:42the action that goes on as well
33:44with their playing a part,
33:46cops, and then eventually,
33:48you know, they're advising,
33:50but they're solving a freaking murder
33:52at the same time.
33:54So props to my crew.
33:56Thank you guys for hanging out.
33:58Let me know your thoughts in the comments down below.
34:00I'm very much enjoying the show.
34:02Look forward to seeing the next episode.
34:04I got to stay tuned for that.
34:06Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe.
34:08I appreciate that.
34:10And shout out to the Patch as well.
34:12Thank you for your support.
34:14We'll see you soon.
34:16More Adventures of the Detectives coming soon.
34:18Peace.