Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Happy Halloween everybody. Welcome back to the channel. My
00:15name is Kevin, I'm a geek you're watching Kevin the geek. And of
00:17course, we're now into October. This is my first video that I'm
00:21recording for October. Well apart from the full Halloween
00:26movies that of course I'm going to be doing later on this month
00:29two of which at the time of me recording this and the time this
00:32will be going live, two of which are already available on my
00:35Patreon and the other two will be coming out one this coming
00:38Saturday and then one the following Saturday, and then the
00:40condensed versions later on this month. But for now we're back
00:43with Man Down. This is the Greg Davies sitcom. This is episode
00:47five. I don't know if it has any Halloween links, but hey, it's
00:52gonna be fun regardless. So of course, subscribe if you're new
00:54check out the Patreon, drop your comments down below. But for now,
00:57let's check out Man Down.
00:59Oh, ghost is out. What do you want? Leave me alone.
01:29I can't move on. I can't let go. Hang on a minute. Why are you a
01:36ghost? You're not dead.
01:48I could have chosen a better month to do that. That the
01:52episode is an intro. Oh, yes.
02:15Morning.
02:16Oh, you're all up and ready nice and early.
02:18Yes, I have a job. What's your excuse? Early board meeting to
02:22discuss how many cups of tea you're going to get through?
02:24Six for me.
02:28That's just in the first hour.
02:30Doesn't he look nice when he makes an effort, Mrs. Whitmore?
02:32Oh, he does. Handsome fella. Still single.
02:35Of course he is. Still moping around about the old one.
02:42My relationship breakups so funny.
02:45You know, she does a pre clean before you come round, don't
02:47you? Oh, I'm sure she does not.
02:50Oh, she does. You're cleaning freshly cleaned rooms.
02:54I'll start in the front room, shall I, Polly?
02:56Yes, it's probably best. Just dust the figurines. Yes, the
02:58fireplace is fine.
03:00Yes, because she's cleaned it.
03:03You're a horrible boy.
03:05She say her only son is horrible. Nasty old lady with a little
03:10wrinkled face.
03:11He's not exactly a boy.
03:12Look at the little Claus picking up the tea.
03:16I'll see you later.
03:18Make me some dinner or I'll kill you.
03:20Mrs. Whitmore is going to come and clear up your pigsty of a
03:23room in a couple of days.
03:24Your dad says it's in a right state.
03:26Yes, it's almost as if he dressed as the ghost of my ex and
03:29beat the shit out of me.
03:32Oh, Dan.
03:33I'm gone now, old lady. I'll see you tonight.
03:35You've got a parent's evening tonight.
03:42Always rely on your mum to remind you.
03:45Anything else?
03:46Your car is well wicked.
03:48Well, thank you, Dennis.
03:49Most people think it's a wreck.
03:51I've often thought in a certain light, you resemble a young James
03:54Stewart, sir.
03:55Thank you, Maureen.
03:57I wish you were my dad.
04:00I love parent's evening.
04:03Enjoy your lunch.
04:09Dear West, my mum thinks you're a dick.
04:12Whoa!
04:17I hope we get to see some of these insurrections.
04:20Surely.
04:20Come on, hand it over.
04:22Give me them.
04:27I can't believe it.
04:27I swore lefty was heaviest.
04:29You saw it with your own eyes.
04:31The right hooch is carrying four more ounces.
04:33All right.
04:34Hello.
04:35I've just been weighing Jo's cans for her, doing my little bit
04:38for feminism.
04:39I see.
04:39I'll get the scales back and weigh your nuts if you like.
04:41No, thanks.
04:42Come on, Lord Lucan, I'll get the scales back and put your little
04:44hairy conkers on the scale.
04:45Ooh, someone woke up on the irritating side of bed, didn't they?
04:48Yeah, it's been a real pain today.
04:49I had to let him weigh my milk sacks just to calm him down.
04:52Congratulations.
04:53That is the most revolting description of breast
04:56scale I've ever heard.
04:57Is it?
04:58Beef bags!
04:59Oi!
05:00Mickey!
05:01Mickey, over here!
05:04Mickey, Brian, Mickey, Dan, Dan, Brian, Mickey.
05:08Hello, Mickey.
05:09Hello, Mickey.
05:10Hello, Mickey.
05:11You all set for the rehearsal tonight, Mickey?
05:14Cool.
05:14See you later, Mickey.
05:17Would you like a tour, Sherlock?
05:18A man of many words.
05:20What the fuck was that?
05:21Mickey?
05:23Mickey Two-Face?
05:24I've got him to management.
05:24He's my first client.
05:26What does he do?
05:26Huh?
05:27Never mind that.
05:27Why is he called Mickey Two-Face?
05:29He's got two faces.
05:30Are they?
05:31He's an entertainer.
05:32Certainly enough information for me.
05:33Brian?
05:34Oh, yeah.
05:35Well, tomorrow night he's doing a gig about fat chans.
05:37Come along.
05:37Let me see.
05:39Going to see a man with a hidden second face perform a non-specific
05:43act of a Chinese restaurant.
05:44I was about to say.
05:45Does it?
05:45Fuck.
05:46Yeah.
05:46What is the gig?
05:47I don't think anything has hit you hard.
05:48No, it hasn't hit me hard.
05:50I'm perfectly accepting of the fact that I have nothing to offer women.
05:53You have?
05:54Yeah.
05:55You've got that dartboard.
05:57That is yours, right?
05:58See?
05:59I'm trapped.
06:00I'm the Colonel Abrams of my own body.
06:03Who's Colonel Abrams?
06:04Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.
06:09Should I listen to what you say?
06:12Listen what your friends say?
06:14It's a tough decision to make.
06:17I don't really want to lose you.
06:19What I want your folks too.
06:21Turn me over to the hands of the law.
06:25I guess they think that I'm not good enough for you.
06:28I can tell the way they act with their attitude.
06:32That's a tee.
06:32As the tears roll from my eyes, I feel the hurt inside
06:36As I reach out for you, I'm so confused
06:40I'm trapped, like a fool, I'm in a cage
06:42I can't get out, see, I'm trapped
06:44Can't you see I'm...
06:46I will get through!
06:50Don't mess with meatbags!
07:02Oh, Mr. Davis
07:13Oh, Miss Lipsy
07:14How's it going?
07:15Well, I've never been so bored in my life
07:17Parents are weird
07:19Some of them stink
07:20Where's your mark book?
07:22I don't need it
07:23It's all up here in the supercomputer
07:25Use it
07:25Ask me if you like, ask me any child's grade
07:27Okay, um...
07:29B plus
07:30You made that up
07:31Prove it
07:32I think a departmental audit is long overdue for you
07:35God, just kiss me
07:38Let them talk
07:39You've got a customer
07:40What is it, the height?
07:41I'll have surgery
07:42I'd lose a foot of bone for you, Emma Lipsy
07:45Oscar Wilde will see you now
07:48I'm not gay
07:52Mickey Two-Face tomorrow night, sir?
07:53Mickey Two-Face tomorrow night, madam?
07:56Mickey Two-Face tomorrow night, sir?
07:59That's him! He's practicing!
08:01That doesn't sound good
08:02No one can say that Dennis is lacking in commitment
08:05Well, he loves it, don't you?
08:07Will we wipe the alien scum out, sir?
08:09Cut their faces off?
08:11Maybe, Dennis
08:12He does get quite cross
08:13No, don't!
08:15Okay, all right, Dennis
08:16Look, there's Joe
08:17Go and play with Joe
08:18Yeah
08:20I don't let them cut each other's faces off
08:22No
08:24Mr. Davis, he loves your lessons
08:27And since his dad left
08:30He needs happy times
08:31Oh, I'm sorry
08:32Oh, no
08:33Are we going to get an instance where she's going to start flirting with him or something?
08:37Oh, I've seen this so many times in different stuff
08:40Where there's some sort of teacher
08:42Some sort of parent
08:44And they go, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha
08:46Be good, Dennis, he's an idiot
08:49There aren't many decent blokes about
08:52So you'd be sure to tell your girlfriend how lucky she is
08:54I think her new boyfriend might have something to say about that
08:57Fucking prick
09:01Sorry
09:02Um
09:04Listen, um
09:05Here we go
09:06Here we go
09:08Slag on my favourite drink
09:10Yeah, do it, do it!
09:13What?
09:15God, I'm so sorry, was that inappropriate?
09:17Yes, please, tomorrow, yes, please
09:20I'm busy tomorrow, I'm afraid
09:22But, um
09:24You give me a call
09:26Mr. Teacher
09:29Whoa
09:31Dennis, Dennis
09:33A bit of roleplay in the bedroom, I think
09:35Ha, look at his face
09:38Oh, I think she might have something to say about that
09:40Natural date, I thought it was over
09:42But I'm back, I'm back with a heavyweight jam
09:44That's great, mate, but
09:46Darling, please, open your mouth
09:47I'm tidying my room just in case
09:49Don't try and bring her back on a first date, especially not to that dump
09:51Oh, my God
09:53Not in the bowl
09:55She might want to come back, though, eh?
09:56Look, she's a mother
09:58She's gonna want more than a grub
10:00From a fat bloke in a bed seat
10:02But I do, though, mate
10:04I finally get women, at last
10:06It's brilliant, I can't stop smiling
10:08Dan, you ate Jo's tits
10:12Oh, my God, is that not okay?
10:14It's okay with Jo
10:16It's not okay with all other women
10:18Oh, shit
10:20What if I ruin the date?
10:22Okay, you're gonna have to help me tonight
10:24How?
10:27I need a mock date
10:29Stop saying mock date
10:31If this goes wrong, you're only gonna have to hang out with me more
10:33And I'll probably start making weird noises
10:35Like this
10:37Yes, fine, yes
10:39Shush
10:41I'll ask Judah if I can pop out for a bit
10:43Pick me up at eight and we'll go through some stuff
10:45Great, mock date
10:47Pick me up at eight
10:49If you say mock date one more time, I'll do it
10:51Alright
10:53Who's throwing stuff?
10:55No
11:02Mock date, eh?
11:04God, this stinks in here
11:06It was hardly a terrible surprise, I am having a shit
11:10Stop letting yourself into my flat for a shit
11:12Daniel, I had a rack of lamb yesterday
11:14Your mum doesn't want to smell this
11:16You said it yourself, it's horrendous
11:18I'm trying to get on with my life, you freak
11:20You don't get me at all, do you?
11:22No, I don't think anyone does
11:25Daniel!
11:27Get dressed
11:29Please, dad, I've got a lot to think about
11:31I can't cope with being attacked today
11:33Get dressed, while I finish up in here
11:35I want to show you something
11:37It'll help you
11:39I'll be sure about that
11:42Mickey Toothpaste
11:44Even Simon Cowell said, and I quote
11:46It was a bit much
11:48Mickey Toothpaste, Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
11:50Come along for a Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
11:52You can pick a thing and I'll get you on the guest list
11:54Joe! For God's sake, turn it down
11:56Mickey Toothpaste, Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
11:58Not one thing, but two things
12:00Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste, Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
12:02Come along for a Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
12:04Come along for a Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
12:06Come along for a Mickey, Mickey Toothpaste
12:08Well, what are we doing here?
12:10That's Brenda Kirkby's old place
12:12Who?
12:14My first love
12:16Oh
12:18Thick red hair
12:20Pale skin
12:22And those beautiful green eyes
12:24I asked her out to the school dance
12:26I was so nervous, I thought my heart would leap from my mouth
12:28But she said yes
12:30She said yes
12:32I couldn't believe it
12:34Neither of us knew what to do, really
12:36We held hands
12:38Chatted
12:40We were so happy
12:42But her mum was religious
12:44So outside of school hours
12:46We were totally forbidden from seeing each other
12:48Whatever!
12:50I know
12:52Seems crazy now, doesn't it?
12:54But I wanted to show her how much I cared
12:56So every night at 7.30
12:58I'd walk here and wait for her to come to that very bedroom window
13:00And I'd wave at her
13:02And blow her a kiss
13:04She'd blow me a kiss
13:06And I'd walk home again
13:08Every night?
13:10Every night
13:1218 months and 11 days
13:18That is one of the most romantic stories I've ever heard
13:22Well
13:24Anyway
13:26I'm waiting for the punchline
13:28Eventually
13:30I fucked her against that wall
13:32What?
13:34That very wall
13:36Word to the wise, son
13:38Stay away from those gingers
13:40It's a mess
13:42Alright, thank you, goodbye
13:44Thanks for that
13:46What an idiot
13:48Like this
13:50Ah
14:04Bye
14:08Nice
14:10Mince
14:20I mean, maybe
14:22If she likes pork
14:32Maybe she'll put them in the fridge
14:34And maybe get a new car
14:38Oh
14:40Oh
14:50Chivalry isn't dead
14:52It just has to be forced
15:02Well
15:04This is nice
15:06Well done
15:08Mickey too, face bloke, doesn't she?
15:10Try and make me feel special
15:12You don't want to be single
15:14For the rest of your life, do you?
15:16Can I get you some drinks?
15:18Why don't you order for us?
15:20Bloody hell, is this girl disabled?
15:22Two pints of lager, please
15:24Don't buy her lager
15:26Without asking
15:28Christ, this is hard
15:30So
15:32Here we are
15:34Now what?
15:36I've ordered the lagers
15:38Now let's see what we want to eat
15:40Yes, let's, but let's have some small talk first
15:42You lead
15:46You alright?
15:48Yes, thank you
15:50I've been at work today
15:52So, nothing very exciting
15:54Right
15:56Are you interested in what I do?
15:58I know what you do, don't I?
16:00You do that boring thing in the office
16:02With Barbara the Mute
16:04So
16:06Let's say I'm a chemist
16:08Right, I imagine you really wanted to be a doctor
16:10No, I wanted to be a chemist
16:12Oh really?
16:14It's the same training, actually
16:16Yes, and that's what vets say, isn't it?
16:18It's the same training
16:20But if it all goes tits up down here
16:22I'm not going to ask a vet to stick his fingers up my ass
16:24I could have done without being at work today
16:26Because little, um
16:28What's his name, my kid?
16:30Dennis
16:32Bringing up a child as a working mum
16:34Okay
16:36What would you like to eat?
16:38Oh, show some interest, empathise
16:40You've got no idea how hard it is raising a kid, do you?
16:42Forgot what it's like being myself
16:44I wonder if Greg is going to go
16:46Oh, sorry, Dan
16:48Dan's going to go through all of this
16:50Learning what is
16:52Supposedly the right thing to do
16:54And then she just is the complete opposite
16:56And she's almost more like
16:58What?
17:00Well, Greg would have done it
17:02And Dan in the first instance
17:04Don't need to empathise
17:06Because I teach the little prick
17:08I probably spend more time with him than you do
17:10While you're off swanning around your chemist
17:12Writing prescriptions
17:14Maybe don't say that
17:20Recognise
17:22What the fuck are you wearing?
17:24Get lost, it's Hugo Boss, nightly style
17:26I'm proper big time now
17:28As being thoughtless
17:30Oh, drink your lager, sweetheart
17:32Sorry, Joe, the mock date's not going very well
17:34Oh, listen, are you still coming to see Mickey?
17:36Get there about nine
17:38You do not want to miss the opening
17:40Believe me, it's so good
17:42It made me sick up in my mouth
17:46Not a good time
17:52Are you alright, Brian?
17:54I had my hair cut especially for this
17:56Bloody word
17:58You're supposed to be making me feel special
18:00Three kids I've had all day on my own
18:02For what?
18:04For a pint of lager with a stupid man
18:12Your hair looks nice
18:16I won't be like this on the actual date
18:18Will I?
18:20And I'm really grateful you're helping me
18:22I think he will be like this on the actual date
18:25Yes
18:31Fuck my face
18:33What?
18:35That's her
18:37Who are we doing the mock date for?
18:39That's her, with another man
18:41Lindsay Macbeth
18:43It's not a date, it's what people do
18:45Maybe you should concentrate on the date you're on
18:47Is it a brother?
18:49A solicitor?
18:51The ex?
18:53Go over there, if you value my opinion at all
18:55Do not go over there
18:57Do not go over there, Dan
18:59Don't
19:03It's gonna go bad
19:07Well, well, well
19:09Hi
19:11Mr... Davis
19:13Yes, sorry, I know that, it's just I've realised I don't know your first name
19:15Is Mr. Davis to you?
19:17Is there a problem?
19:19Oh, there's a problem, my friend
19:21My, er
19:23White-shirted friend
19:25Is there?
19:27I'd say so, wouldn't you?
19:29No
19:31No? Well, perhaps you'd like to tell Mr.
19:33Jeans here
19:35Exactly what you and I were discussing last night
19:37No, I wouldn't
19:39Well, maybe I would
19:41Don't
19:43Get your hands off me
19:45OK
19:47Mr. Davis here is
19:49Mr. Davis' teacher, and yesterday
19:51we were at a parent-teacher meeting
19:53That's right, I'm a teacher
19:55Head of department, as it goes
19:57Oh, he doesn't like the title, does he?
20:01Now, who the hell are you?
20:05Well
20:07He's my probation officer
20:09Oh
20:11Yes, I am
20:13What the hell have you done?
20:15It's none of your business
20:17We're not going to be dating a criminal
20:19I'd like to know what I'm up against
20:21No, we are not going to be dating
20:23Come on, mate, give me a steer. What's she done?
20:25I'm sorry. What's going on here?
20:27Well, apparently my son's teacher is a lunatic
20:29We knew that
20:31God, this is so embarrassing
20:33Yes, it is embarrassing
20:35Let's just all lay our cards on the table
20:37I'll start
20:39When I was a child, I once stole
20:41a whole jar of cola cubes from a newsagent
20:43Your turn
20:45Who are you?
20:47I'm his date
20:49I see
20:51No, you don't see. He's not my real date
20:53Then what the hell am I?
20:55Brian?
20:57Dan?
20:59Oh
21:01Oh, perfect
21:03Oh, yes
21:05Oh, well, this is fucking perfect
21:07Oh, well done
21:09You got me
21:11Checkmate
21:13Fuck you
21:15And you've done me up like a bastard kipper
21:17Well, fuck you, Winona Ryder
21:19And fuck you, Naomi
21:21And
21:23Fuck you
21:25Sock feet
21:27And you, little tiny bag shoulder
21:29And you
21:31I've seen you behind me
21:33Earrings, ears
21:35Fucking rice mouth
21:39Fuck you
21:41What's that?
21:43Oh, someone's put gel in his hair
21:45Fuck you, gel head
21:47Oh, fuck you
21:49Cracker hand
21:53Everybody out
21:55Mickey's fucked it
22:07More of them
22:11Fuck you
22:17Pub
22:19Yeah, pub
22:21The police are getting there quite fast, aren't they?
22:27You're free
22:29Thank you
22:33Only me, love
22:37Oh, dear
22:39We've all had a bit of a night
22:41Bit of an awful night
22:45Oh, dear, no nice ladies out then
22:47Plenty of nice ladies
22:49Just no nice Daniels, Mrs. Wigmore
22:51I'm useless
22:53Oh, shush yourself
22:55You're a lovely young man
22:57I told you
22:59I'm not, you know
23:01I'm really not
23:03Mrs. Wigmore
23:05Mrs. Wigmore thinks you are
23:07Mrs. Wigmore thinks you are
23:21I'm such a lovely woman
23:23I'm such a lovely woman
23:25Red roses too
23:27Red roses too
23:29I see them bloom
23:31I see them bloom
23:33Oh, my
23:35Oh, my
23:37When I think to myself
23:39Oh, my
23:41Oh, my
23:43Oh, my
23:45Oh, my
23:47Oh, my
23:49I see skies of blue
23:51I see skies of blue
23:53And clouds of white
23:55And clouds of white
23:57Bright blessed days
23:59Dark sacred night
24:01And I think to myself
24:03And I think to myself
24:07What a wonderful world
24:09What a wonderful world
24:23Shall I?
24:25Yeah
24:37And I think to myself
24:41What a wonderful world
24:51And I think to myself
24:55What a wonderful world
24:57What a wonderful world
24:59Oh, yeah
25:01Oh, yeah
25:03Oh, yeah
25:05I don't know whether that was Two-Faced Mickey
25:07I don't know whether that was Two-Faced Mickey
25:09Either the audio was slightly out of sync with his mouth
25:11Either the audio was slightly out of sync with his mouth
25:13Or that was a literal lip sync
25:15But a beautiful, beautiful song
25:17But a beautiful, beautiful song
25:19Oh, my God
25:21Oh, my God
25:23I mean
25:25Talk about the perfect episode
25:27Talk about the perfect episode
25:29To kick off my first reaction
25:31To kick off my first reaction for Halloween month
25:33Obviously having a ghost
25:35Obviously having a ghost
25:37At the start of the episode
25:39And then the most horrifying
25:41And then the most horrifying
25:43Scene I think I've ever witnessed
25:45Scene I think I've ever witnessed
25:47I don't want to see that
25:49I don't want to see that
25:51Oh
25:53Oh
25:55I mean, talk about the
25:57I mean, talk about the fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
25:59I think that is
26:01I think that is the fastest
26:03I think that is the fastest way
26:05I think that is the fastest way of screwing yourself over
26:07Of screwing yourself over
26:09On a date that I've ever seen
26:11Considering you managed to do it
26:13Before you even go on the date
26:15Oh, my
26:17Oh, my
26:19God
26:21Oh
26:23Brian is just
26:25Brian is just amazing and I can't get over it
26:27Enough, I love the tash
26:29Perfect
26:31Perfect peasant to go on the date
26:33The mock date
26:35Er
26:37I don't know what to say
26:39That was just hilarious
26:41And
26:43Shocking
26:45Altogether
26:47I wonder if we will ever get to see her again.
26:50Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
26:54At the moment, I'm wondering
26:57if we're gonna set anything up between Dan there
27:00and the headteacher, what's her name?
27:05Miss Lipsy or whatever it is.
27:08There's just been once or twice this series,
27:10I've just sort of noticed that they're just subtly setting up
27:15almost like a bit of a love tension,
27:18a bit of that romantic tension
27:21that you sometimes get in TV shows,
27:24which if it builds up in any way
27:25that I've seen in other shows before,
27:28they're gonna end up at least sleeping together
27:30if not anything else.
27:31Maybe they'll do it for the series finale, who knows?
27:34We'll wait and see with this.
27:37But yeah, we've only got one more episode left to go
27:39of the first series, which will of course be next month.
27:41And then in December, we will have two Christmas specials.
27:46So I'm looking forward to those.
27:48Don't forget to subscribe.
27:49If you're new, please drop your comments down below.
27:51Consider joining the Patreon.
27:53Of course, we've got four movie reactions
27:55coming out for Halloween this month of those.
27:58Of course, on Patreon is where you get
28:00the full uncut versions.
28:03On YouTube later on this month
28:04will be the edited condensed versions.
28:07But that is gonna do it for today.
28:08Thank you very much for watching.
28:10For now, my name's Kevin.
28:12I am a geek, and you've been watching Kevin the Geek.
28:14Goodbye.