Taskmaster.S18E02 ...And Then a Detective Comes In
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00:00FUNKY MUSIC
00:02SIGHS
00:04MUSIC CONTINUES
00:06BELL RINGS
00:08WOMEN SCREAM
00:10BELL RINGS
00:12SCREAMING
00:14BELL RINGS
00:16WOMEN LAUGH
00:18SCREAMING
00:20BELL RINGS
00:22APPLAUSE
00:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Hello!
00:36Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38Five comedians, naked as the day they were born,
00:42fighting to the death using primitive weapons.
00:45Sure, we've had to tweak the original format,
00:48but it'll still be fun.
00:50Let's welcome our warriors once again.
00:52Andy Zoltzmann!
00:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:57Emma Siddy!
00:59Jack Day!
01:01And Rosie Dow!
01:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:07And next to me, a man who doesn't know what colour his bedroom walls are
01:11because he's put so many posters of Howard from Take That on them.
01:15LAUGHTER
01:17Hi!
01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:22What?
01:24Are you ready for a viewer's favourite?
01:26It's Horne's Hot List.
01:28Horne's Hot List.
01:30This is when I, Horne, say what's hot and what's not hot right now.
01:34Hot. Sweatbands.
01:36These guys are great.
01:38Not hot. Jeans.
01:40Come on, guys, it's not 1969 anymore.
01:43That was Horne's Hot List.
01:45Horne's Hot List.
01:47LAUGHTER
01:49They're very, very itchy, so I'm going to take them off.
01:51Well, they've done their job, haven't they?
01:53They've created a great atmosphere.
01:56It's prize task time.
01:58Oh, yes.
02:00Aka the actual start of the show.
02:02Too right. We're creatures of habit, aren't we?
02:04Like nuns or something.
02:06And the category this week is...
02:08The category is the most serious object that looks quite silly.
02:12Poor old Greg has to judge them and give five points
02:14to his favourite serious object that looks quite silly.
02:16At the end of the episode, the overall winner
02:18will take home five seriously silly things.
02:20Back to you, Greg.
02:21Right. Baba. Hello.
02:23Hey. We're going to start with you this week.
02:25OK. You all right? I'm good.
02:27LAUGHTER
02:30You've got a serious thing that's also silly?
02:32Yes, I have.
02:33This is what he's brought in.
02:35A serious thing that looks silly.
02:37I mean, come on, now, look at that.
02:39Like, back in the day when they used the Vikings
02:41and they, you know, began to, like, do little battles
02:43with their axes and stuff.
02:45All right, bear with me here.
02:47It's just a shit...
02:49It's just a shit fancy dress.
02:51If you showed up in Tottenham with a Viking hat,
02:53we'd kick your arse.
02:55LAUGHTER
02:57OK, well, it's not on my bucket list.
03:00Emma, what have you brought in?
03:02A Comic Sans clock.
03:04Here it is.
03:06LAUGHTER
03:08You know, you only have so much time, we're against the clock.
03:11I just think it's reasonably serious.
03:13Yes. That's serious.
03:15Right. Yeah.
03:16Comic Sans, that's a bit silly.
03:18LAUGHTER
03:20I just don't know why you need to add, it's my daddy.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:24That's a little bit more silly, isn't it?
03:27I'd say that's more serious, to be honest.
03:29LAUGHTER
03:31I'll have to reflect on it, Emma, thank you.
03:34Andy?
03:35Yes?
03:36Who's your daddy?
03:37LAUGHTER
03:39Well, what I've brought in, Greg,
03:41is an effigy of the gunpowder plot celeb Guy Fawkes.
03:46LAUGHTER
03:50Who was Guy Fawkes?
03:51Guy Fawkes was someone who tried to blow up Parliament.
03:53Do you know how he was executed, Greg?
03:55I do, I've been in the room it happened in.
03:57No, I think it happened outside, didn't it?
03:59Oh, the execution? Yes.
04:00Sorry, I've been in the room where he was tortured.
04:02Oh, right.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:05We're dealing with the brutality of humanity,
04:09and we've turned it into something fun for the kids to do
04:12on the 5th of November.
04:13Very good.
04:14Hello, Jack.
04:15Hello.
04:16You all right? Yeah.
04:17You?
04:18Yes, I'm good.
04:19Enough of the small talk.
04:21LAUGHTER
04:22What silly and serious thing have you brought in?
04:24I've brought in something which is serious,
04:26but I think it looks silly.
04:28It's an abseiling harness.
04:30LAUGHTER
04:33So, you know when you see people climbing
04:36and they think they're clever,
04:38but I don't because they're wearing one of those.
04:41And they just look silly.
04:42I don't know why they think they're clever.
04:45It's like a sort of exoskeletal nappy.
04:49But it is serious because you need to wear one
04:51because it'll hold you if you fall,
04:53and that's why I think people who wear them think they're clever.
04:58And they're not, and I think we should discuss that more.
05:02And are you suggesting that people shouldn't wear safety harnesses?
05:05Yeah.
05:06Thanks, Jack.
05:07All right.
05:08Hello.
05:09Hello.
05:10You all right?
05:11Yeah, and you?
05:13Yeah, not too bad.
05:14Yeah, good.
05:15All right, then.
05:16OK.
05:18So, I've brought in my own coffin.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:27APPLAUSE
05:32Ooh!
05:35Ooh, that'll be lovely.
05:38Everyone crying.
05:41Yeah.
05:42Paying their respects.
05:45Fending them.
05:47LAUGHTER
05:50Any questions?
05:51No, no.
05:52LAUGHTER
05:54It's difficult because I still don't really understand
05:57the comic Sans as my daddy.
05:59It's just silly as well, you know, cheeky.
06:01Cheeky.
06:02It's cheeky!
06:03No, it is cheeky.
06:04It's got two levels of cheeky.
06:05Baba's has only got one, I'll give Baba one point.
06:07One to Baba.
06:08I'll give Emma two points.
06:10The clock gets two.
06:11I'll give Jack D three points.
06:13Safety equipment does look ridiculous.
06:15And then we're up to the big guns.
06:16Guy Fawkes.
06:17Oh, I'll give you this one.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:21Guy Fawkes has had his day, he can have four points.
06:23That's right.
06:24And, of course, I will be honking if I lose Rosie Jones.
06:27APPLAUSE
06:34OK, what's the first task proper, please, Alex?
06:37Well, it's something we haven't done before, Greg,
06:40and there are big points at stake.
06:53Hi, Jack.
06:54Hi, Alex.
06:56What are you wearing?
06:57Oh, this old thing.
07:00Welcome.
07:01Hey!
07:04Oh, hi.
07:06Emma?
07:07Yes, hi.
07:08You all right?
07:09Yeah. How are you?
07:10I'm feeling good, I'm looking great.
07:12Great.
07:18Hello, Andy.
07:20Oh, hi, Alex.
07:23What life of choices brought you here?
07:29You have to trace them all the way back, I think.
07:31Yeah.
07:32Yeah.
07:33Parents.
07:36I think it's amazing, I've never seen it before.
07:38Christmas?
07:39No.
07:40Weddings?
07:41No.
07:42OK.
07:43Postman's come.
07:45Right, um...
07:48All right.
07:50Wear this outfit.
07:52Throughout one future task.
07:54This outfit.
07:55This outfit.
07:56This outfit.
07:57Oh, Jesus Christ.
07:59And your points will be doubled.
08:01Doubled.
08:02Doubled.
08:03For that task.
08:04OK.
08:06You have until your time in Taskmaster is over.
08:10Is there a right answer?
08:13The right answer is you've got to wear it for a task that you do well in,
08:18Simon, you won't know what the task is going to be.
08:20You have to decide before a task takes place that you want to wear this outfit.
08:24Right, OK.
08:25There are several different types of task in this show.
08:27Yeah.
08:28So you're just going to have to feel it.
08:29OK.
08:30This isn't actually a task, is it?
08:32It's just a thing that's going to happen.
08:34Yeah, sorry.
08:35Yeah.
08:36It's still fun, though, Joe.
08:37Oh, it is.
08:38The fun never stops, as you can see.
08:39I'm having a ball.
08:41Hmm.
08:45We don't know what Alex is currently wearing,
08:47but Rose is quite right.
08:49His decision to wear that is almost certainly the fault of his parents.
08:54So, something to look forward to.
08:56Quite right.
08:57They can play their joker at any point across the rest of the series
09:00by putting on the mystery outfit.
09:02But for now, here's some more memorable fun.
09:04Ah.
09:12BELL RINGS
09:24Back in the weird lab.
09:25All right.
09:29It's not my wardrobe.
09:32OK.
09:34Hi, Joe.
09:35Hi, Alex.
09:36You all right?
09:37Yeah, I'm fine.
09:39OK.
09:41Prepared for everything?
09:42Yep.
09:43Brand-new gloves?
09:44Well, I've been waiting to do this show a long time.
09:48Right.
09:50Um, I decided to wear the hot dog outfit for this one.
09:53Oh, yeah?
09:54Mm.
09:55It means this one counts double for you.
09:56Yeah.
09:57Whatever points you get.
09:58Yeah.
09:59So, it's a big one.
10:02Remember these ten fine people.
10:05You have two minutes to acquaint yourself with these fine people.
10:11Best memory wins.
10:16Your time starts now.
10:19OK, cool.
10:20Let's memorise these people, then.
10:22All right.
10:23Diana.
10:24She's got the blonde hair.
10:25Pearls.
10:26Issy Bandana.
10:27So, that's Gordo.
10:29I'm going to start.
10:30Trev looks good.
10:31Have you got a good memory, Joe?
10:33I'm going to...
10:34It'll be better if I'm not talking to you during it.
10:37Dina, Dina, Dina.
10:39Issy, Dina, Issy.
10:42Yank Tank, Yank Tank, Yank Tank.
10:44What's your process for... Ooh.
10:46Yank Tank.
10:47Blanket.
10:48Clown.
10:49Ah!
10:50OK.
10:51Grillsy.
10:52Is that real?
10:53Yes.
10:54OK.
10:55What's your method for remembering things, Jack?
10:56Try not to be distracted.
10:58Chisel.
10:59Chisel.
11:00Dina, Issy, Yank Tank.
11:03Curls off.
11:04Curls off.
11:06They're now in my memory house, in my memory castle.
11:09Right.
11:12Cool. I'm cool.
11:13I don't fancy my chances here.
11:15WHISTLE BLOWS
11:16Blanket.
11:17Please look at the camera.
11:19I was hoping you weren't going to do that.
11:22I got that sorted, but that's a shit dump.
11:29I was just wondering if you could tell me who all these people are, Jack.
11:32Do I start now?
11:33Why not?
11:34Dinah.
11:35Dinah.
11:36Issy.
11:37Yank Tank.
11:38The Yank Tank.
11:39Colonel.
11:40Colonel.
11:41Blanket.
11:42Dina is the Yank Tank.
11:45Colonel!
11:47Blanket.
11:48Blanket.
11:49Dora?
11:50It wasn't a Dora, was there?
11:51There should have been a Dora.
11:53It looks like a Dora, don't you think?
11:55Grillsy.
11:56Chisel.
11:57Chisel.
11:58Reggie.
11:59Reggie.
12:00Trish, no?
12:01Never go with Trish, man.
12:02Trish.
12:03I didn't talk to them.
12:06No, you didn't talk to them.
12:07Oh!
12:08This is Issy, the bandage.
12:12I'm really screwed with her.
12:15I can't stop thinking of Tamsin Alf's way.
12:17Maybe she was called Tamsin.
12:19I think this one's Gordo.
12:22Gordo.
12:23Trish.
12:24True.
12:25I can't remember these two.
12:26They've left the palace.
12:28I'm going to leave it at that.
12:29I think I've done all of them.
12:32APPLAUSE
12:39Were you happy in your hot dog costume?
12:42No, I wasn't happy in it.
12:44I didn't think it looked any good.
12:46It felt tacky as well.
12:47It was cheap.
12:48Yeah.
12:49I think I pulled it off, though.
12:50Yeah.
12:51I should say it was the first task immediately after being given
12:54the option, straight in.
12:56So you just thought, fuck it, let's get this out of the way with.
12:59Yeah.
13:00And then you haven't got that to dread in the future.
13:03Rosie only did half the room,
13:05but I should also say that was only half the task.
13:08OK.
13:09It's break time.
13:10Try to fulfil these precious few minutes
13:12without using your smartphone.
13:14You don't need to look up little Alex Horne's real height.
13:17I've told you, the guy's five foot two.
13:19If anything, look up how a virgin can have three kids.
13:25We'll see you in a minute.
13:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:38Hello.
13:39Welcome back to Taskmaster.
13:41It's the second part of this show
13:43and we still haven't had a proper task for me to judge.
13:46Oh, poor old Greggie, but here we go.
13:48A new task and the introduction of our teams.
13:57MUSIC PLAYS
14:03Hello.
14:04Andy.
14:06Good to see you.
14:07You too.
14:08Shall I?
14:10Well, we should do a little bit of small talk.
14:12Oh.
14:15Oh, hi, guys. Hi.
14:17What are you saying, bro?
14:19How you doing? I'm cool.
14:20Andy, this is Baba. Baba, this is Andy.
14:22Hello. Man like Andy.
14:23Why are you dressed like that?
14:25Hello.
14:28Hello.
14:29Are you all right? Yeah, yeah.
14:33Oh, hi.
14:34Hello.
14:35Hello.
14:36Hello, Emma.
14:37My name's, er, Emma Siddy.
14:40Hello, Emma. Andy.
14:42How you doing, Baba? Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
14:44Hello, Emma. This is Baba. Baba, this is Emma.
14:46Andy, this is Emma. Emma, this is Andy.
14:48That's everyone.
14:50So one of you needs to open and read the task.
14:53Yeah, OK. OK.
14:54Can you call him Jackie?
14:56Yeah. Oh, good.
14:58Become the best multi-headed creature.
15:03Your creature must prove they are the best
15:05by doing something impressive.
15:07Also, during that impressive thing,
15:09they must speak one word at a time
15:12and explain what it is they are doing
15:14and why it is impressive.
15:16You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
15:19Can anyone juggle?
15:20No. No. No.
15:22Absolutely not.
15:23All right.
15:24We could collect a lot of heads around the house, right?
15:27It can be any heads. Dog's head.
15:29You see, that, I like what you're thinking there,
15:32cos it doesn't have to be a human head.
15:34I'm thinking multi-headed creatures of history.
15:37Oh, yeah. I don't mean too many of them, really.
15:39Hydra.
15:40Three-headed dog, god of the underworld.
15:42What do you do that's impressive?
15:43I can move my knuckles.
15:48Oh, you can?
15:50I mean, it's niche.
15:52Is it like making a smoothie?
15:54I always find, like, a good smoothie is, like, really fantastic.
15:58That's like...
15:59You know when someone's like,
16:00oh, this is great and then you taste it and it's delicious?
16:03What? OK.
16:05Look, it doesn't have to be a smoothie.
16:07Three-headed smoothie.
16:09What if I stand on my head?
16:13I would love that.
16:15Go on, let's see if it can be done.
16:17Do you need some help?
16:18Yeah.
16:21Whoa!
16:25Yeah, see, you can't do it, can you?
16:29Run!
16:31OK, so what, are we on 12 minutes?
16:33Yeah, yeah, it's really going down now.
16:35Right, I really don't want to get this wrong.
16:37These guys, man.
16:39Right.
16:45I mean, I don't know where to start.
16:48Quite a good vibe with this team.
16:51So excited to be on a team with Jackie.
16:57I don't feel like we've got so much in common.
17:02Do you?
17:05We're both from a place of positivity.
17:12And we were a team made in heaven.
17:21LAUGHTER
17:24There's a bond there, and I've got high hopes
17:26for your multi-headed beast.
17:28Now, this group.
17:30I don't think I've ever seen a more awkward introduction.
17:35I was so confused, I was like,
17:37why am I hooked up with, like, this cricketer?
17:40And then a detective comes in.
17:43I was so confused.
17:45There's no mystery, Baba, at least,
17:47as to who the detective is.
17:50Oh, God.
17:52Once you've formed your multi-headed beast,
17:54what would be the most impressive thing you would do?
17:57And Emma went for...
17:59..the making of a smoothie.
18:03You might not have seen this cos you were in the room.
18:05Do you want to see what Baba thought of your idea?
18:07Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
18:09I always find, like, a good smoothie is, like, really fantastic.
18:13That's right. You know when someone's like, oh...
18:20Anyway, well, we're going to start with a team of two.
18:23Rosie and Jackie.
18:25This...
18:26Is...
18:27Been...
18:28And...
18:29Gone.
18:36We...
18:38Are...
18:39So...
18:41Happy...
18:43To...
18:44Be...
18:45Here...
18:46On...
18:47Your...
18:48Task...
18:49Matter...
18:50Show...
18:53We...
18:54Are...
18:55So...
18:57Impressive...
18:59With...
19:01Instruments...
19:03And...
19:04I...
19:05Were...
19:06Playing...
19:08Instruments...
19:09Instruments...
19:18You poked your head through a bin bag and then you sang a song.
19:21There are two things you're missing here.
19:23One is that we had to join two bin bags,
19:25otherwise it wouldn't have been big enough, Greg. No!
19:27And then the other thing you're missing is that by then
19:29I'd lost the will to live.
19:34Jackie's started to turn on you here.
19:36No, no, not at all. He's pulling away from the group.
19:38There's only one thing that can save you now,
19:40and it's the most awkward gang in town.
19:50We...
19:51Are...
19:52Making...
19:53A...
19:54Phenomenal...
19:55Smoothie...
19:56Today...
19:57Using...
19:58So...
19:59Many...
20:00Phenomenal...
20:01Fruits...
20:03And...
20:04Life-giving...
20:05Nutrients...
20:08Today...
20:10Making...
20:11This...
20:12Impressive...
20:13Medicine...
20:15Will...
20:19Today...
20:27Oh...
20:28My...
20:29Gosh...
20:30This...
20:31Is...
20:32Phenomenal...
20:33Smoothie time...
20:35Today...
20:39Oh...
20:42Yum.
20:43Surprisingly...
20:44Nutty.
20:53Thanks, team.
20:54You may return to the house.
20:56We should do this again sometime.
20:58Yeah.
20:59Yeah, no, for real.
21:00It was genuinely very nice.
21:01APPLAUSE
21:09You actually did make a smoothie?
21:11Oh, well, excuse me.
21:12It was a multi-headed beast.
21:14Yeah.
21:15How many heads was it?
21:16Hey, I didn't mind the beast.
21:17There was a lot of heads on that beast.
21:18It was a better beast than these two clowns.
21:20OK.
21:21Right?
21:22That much I'll concede.
21:23But you still made a smoothie.
21:24And, Baba, if you want to get into an argument,
21:26you can explain to me why you just kept saying the word today.
21:31I drank that smoothie, I went home,
21:33and for the first time in my life, I levitated.
21:39The beast was worse.
21:41I don't know.
21:42What were you least impressed by, the song or the smoothie?
21:45The smoothie.
21:46The smoothie, and that's saying something,
21:48cos you heard the song.
21:53The song was slightly better than the smoothie.
21:56But the multi-headed beast was far more impressive
21:59than two idiots putting their heads through a bin bag.
22:02No offence.
22:03Listen, listen.
22:04Listen, listen.
22:05It was a multi-headed beast.
22:06Yeah, it was.
22:07Which beast do you know that makes a smoothie?
22:10We did that.
22:12This is the man who rolled his eyes, and look at it now.
22:16Come on, man.
22:18We're opening a smoothie shop after this.
22:21So lovely to see a gang come together.
22:24We're getting a smoothie bar.
22:26Today.
22:33I think they're both as bad as each other,
22:35cos you don't like a draw.
22:37Two points each.
22:38And you'll all thank me for that.
22:39Here we go, they all get two points.
22:41There it is.
22:44Well, the order hasn't changed.
22:45Rosie, last week's winner, is still in the lead with seven points.
22:48There we are.
22:52Get us with another task, please, little Alex Horne.
22:54Ooh, there's somebody at the door.
22:56Ooh.
23:06Wow.
23:07You ready?
23:08Born ready.
23:09Yeah.
23:10Really great to see you.
23:11And you as well.
23:17So, this is awkward.
23:19Hello.
23:20You look happy.
23:21I'm happy any day that I'm with you,
23:27my little baby boy.
23:30OK, there's a task over there.
23:32Oh.
23:33There we go.
23:38There's a...
23:39Is there a challenge?
23:41Yeah, there's a task.
23:42A task, yeah.
23:43Yeah, it's just on the doorbell.
23:44Oh, OK.
23:45Yeah.
23:48Oh!
23:49I've done it.
23:51Capture the most remarkable footage on this doorbell camera.
23:56Capture the most remarkable footage on this doorbell camera.
24:04Yo!
24:05Man like Baba.
24:07You have 30 minutes.
24:09Your time starts now.
24:12Interesting the word remarkable.
24:14I'm trying to think of anything,
24:16any kind of footage that I've ever seen that's remarkable.
24:19Are you aware of doorbell cameras?
24:21Doorbell, well, I'm aware of their work.
24:23I think Star Wars was filmed on a doorbell camera,
24:25I was the first to learn the use of it.
24:27I want to put on a show.
24:32It needs to be elaborate.
24:43It needs to be remarkable, actually.
24:45I mean, they are synonyms.
24:49OK.
24:51How do you feel about being Rosie's little baby boy?
24:54You like that?
24:55Yes and no.
24:56What's the no part?
24:57I want to grow up one day.
25:00All right.
25:01OK.
25:02What are we going to see?
25:03Well, let's start with Daddy.
25:04It is Rosie Jones.
25:07Oh!
25:18Merry Christmas!
25:21I'm Mary and I'm having a baby!
25:27Oh!
25:29Oh!
25:33Oh!
25:35I was born in Caesars.
25:49What is more remarkable than the birth of our Lord?
25:56It's a bold and fresh take on Christianity.
26:02If it's not disrespectful,
26:03one would almost say that Jesus positively fell out.
26:08All right, that's it.
26:09We're halfway through the episode.
26:11See you in a minute.
26:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:24Hello!
26:25Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our door is always open.
26:28Well, not always, Greg.
26:29For the current task, it's always closed,
26:31so that's a pretty poor choice of words.
26:33The comedians have been tasked to record
26:35the most remarkable doorbell camera footage.
26:38Next up, Baba, whose name is an anagram of Abba,
26:41and Annie Zaltzman, whose name is an anagram of Ad As Lin Mat.
26:45LAUGHTER
26:48DOORBELL RINGS
26:55DRUMMING
27:00DOORBELL RINGS
27:02DRUMMING CONTINUES
27:08LAUGHTER
27:12DOORBELL RINGS
27:17Alexander.
27:19Oh, right. Hello.
27:21I am your future. I know what you plan.
27:24OK, what's that, then?
27:26The full and total destruction of the Taskmaster.
27:29Ah, fair cop. Yeah, that is the plan.
27:32There has been a plan, actually, right from episode one, series one.
27:35I know when you will destroy him.
27:37Mm-hm. When?
27:39In the studio, when we show this task.
27:41That's right, that's exactly right.
27:59How will you destroy a Taskmaster?
28:01I can't say that.
28:03Come on, mate.
28:05Well, let's say revenge will be sweet.
28:07Revenge for that time that...
28:09No, I can't say that.
28:11That is our secret. Our secret.
28:13No-one can know that.
28:20Stick it round.
28:22Can you see that chicken?
28:24Or chicken?
28:26Ah!
28:35Mine was shit, though.
28:39Maybe it was remarkable for being so shit.
28:42Yeah, maybe.
28:43You weren't even any good at keeping your piss, Andy.
28:46When you first kicked it, I thought,
28:48well, he's going to be really good at this.
28:50Three for the...
28:53Andy, I thought, oh, that's a good idea, the ghost comes.
28:56That's an intriguing story.
28:58But then I found the ghost himself to be quite boring.
29:02Well, that's often ghosts are, aren't they?
29:04Because if you think of the mundanity of death...
29:07Yeah. ..of being a ghost for all eternity,
29:10you're going to lose your spark, aren't you?
29:12I would say.
29:14So he was deliberately dull?
29:16Yeah, well, it was also Alex's future,
29:18so it was probably going to be quite dull.
29:20Very clever.
29:22Good. Not good. Bad.
29:24Right, who's next?
29:26Next up, it's Emma.
29:29Phew!
29:30Oh, my.
29:32HE HUMS
29:36Camo.
29:42All right, camo.
29:45Let's go with that.
29:50There we go. Cooking with gas.
29:52Camo. Whoa!
29:54All right.
30:06I'll leave the pan.
30:11The peak of exhilaration and excitement in your life
30:13seems to be making relatively basic food.
30:17I'm like, yeah, I think that might be true.
30:19What do I do? Well, do better.
30:23Just do, make it... Omelette? Was it an omelette?
30:25No, it was a pancake. Oh, that's better.
30:29On the envelope. That was remarkable. Yeah.
30:31But would I think it remarkable if someone was doing
30:33bad keepy-uppies outside my doorbell?
30:36Difficult, innit? Who's next?
30:38The final person we're going to see, oh, it's Jack D.
30:41Living the dream.
30:43That's the doorbell.
30:45Can it come off?
30:47I suppose so.
30:54And it's the most remarkable.
30:58There we go.
31:00OK, Alex? Yeah?
31:02Hello.
31:04Where did you have the dinner last night?
31:06Do you want to see it? OK.
31:12LAUGHTER
31:16Did you see what happened in it?
31:18I think... It was a banana, was it?
31:20I had a banana for pudding, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
31:22I'm not sure your digestion system is working
31:24as efficiently as it should have been.
31:26Well, it wasn't just a banana.
31:34Omelette?
31:36Well, it was a creme caramel.
31:38It's almost as if you never chew.
31:42Was it remarkable? It was, I think it was remarkable.
31:44I don't think you can get any more remarkable than that, really.
31:47Something I've always wanted to do is
31:49watch stuff being flushed all the way down through
31:51and see how it works.
31:53OK, thanks, Jack. Yeah, thanks, Alex.
32:00Well, I can't argue it fits the brief.
32:03Like I said in the thing, I like to see how things work.
32:06Yeah. And I like to...
32:08I like to demonstrate how things work as well
32:10and I think I demonstrated there how...
32:12How a house works and then there's...
32:14We all want to have a look.
32:16I only looked inside our family septic tank once.
32:18Why did you look in it? It was blocked up.
32:20What with? Multicoloured condoms, shit and frogs.
32:27Which was the least remarkable?
32:31I feel bad. It is Baba, probably.
32:33But I don't know if it's any less remarkable
32:35than Andy's boring ghost.
32:38I'm giving Baba and Andy two points.
32:41Crap woman can thank me for her three points.
32:44Is it poo or is it Christianity?
32:49Because I have great respect for those of faith,
32:52it's four points to Jack's poos
32:55and Rosie Jones takes five points.
32:57OK, well done, Rosie.
33:03All right, another task, please, Alex.
33:05Well, cast your mind back a bit for this next one.
33:10MUSIC
33:15Oh, no!
33:18Oh, for goodness sake, not these again.
33:21It's nice to see you too, Emma.
33:23Pleased to see them?
33:25Um, well, I mean, some of them.
33:27Some of them, a bit awkward.
33:32Do you want me to open the thing?
33:34Not yet. OK. Do you know why not?
33:36You want more chat? No.
33:38Yeah.
33:40Oh, you want me to put that on?
33:42You should really be dressed as a hot dog for this one.
33:44Identify these ten fine people.
33:47Most fine people, correctly identified, wins.
33:51Oh, my God, I forgot them.
33:53You have four fine minutes, your time starts now.
33:57Kano!
34:05It's a dirty trick and no mistake
34:07and only the people with actually good memories
34:09are going to succeed, I suspect.
34:11Let's have a look.
34:12OK, we're going to start with Rosie and Randy.
34:14Here we go.
34:28I'm going to do quite badly on this first time round, to be honest.
34:32SHE LAUGHS
34:38BUZZER
34:40This one was easy, I remember that one.
34:42That was the head injury.
34:49BUZZER
34:55BUZZER
34:58BUZZER
35:00That seems too obvious, Ahoy.
35:02BUZZER
35:04BUZZER
35:06That was Flight Commander Biggles.
35:08BUZZER
35:10BUZZER
35:12BUZZER
35:14BUZZER
35:16BUZZER
35:18BUZZER
35:20BUZZER
35:22BUZZER
35:24BUZZER
35:26WHISTLE BLOWS
35:28Thanks, Andy. All right.
35:30You didn't get a duck. No.
35:32No, but in some ways, getting one is worse than getting none.
35:35There's a dignity in total failure.
35:40APPLAUSE
35:45So Andy only ended up getting one.
35:47Previously he had five. Mm-hm.
35:49He only remembered one in the end.
35:51It's quite hard to... I felt quite triggered by that. By what?
35:54It was very similar to the jury in a trial.
35:58But, look, I don't want to go into that in too much detail.
36:01Who were Yam Yam and Shaggy? Were they...?
36:04Were Yam Yam and Shaggy original characters?
36:07No, Yam Yam and Shaggy came from Rosie's brain. Yeah.
36:10Andy came up with Biggles, Valderama, Baldy, Doggy and Marilyn.
36:13Yeah. OK.
36:15Time to break for the last time in the final part of the show.
36:18Someone will win a harness, a clock, a Viking hat,
36:22a Guy Fawkes effigy and have to carry it home in a coffin.
36:26What's the point?
36:28We'll see you soon.
36:40It's part four of four and our cast have been tested
36:43to remember the names of ten fine people.
36:46Next, we're going to witness the memories of Baba and Jack,
36:49who has donned his hot dog outfit and will get double points.
36:52Here we go.
36:54Oh.
36:56This is so wrong.
36:58OK.
37:00All right, let's try.
37:02Blanket.
37:04I think that's the Colonel.
37:06Chisel.
37:08Reggie.
37:10Gordo.
37:11Izzy.
37:13That had a patch on, didn't it? There's a patch there.
37:15That's, um, that's, uh, Grilly.
37:18Blanket. Izzy.
37:20Oh, like, what's it?
37:22Hanky Panky or something like that?
37:24Or Wanky Smanky or something?
37:26Er, Chisel?
37:28Chisel.
37:30Oh, there was Yankee Tank. That's her name.
37:32OK, now, who was Yankee Tank?
37:34Izzy. No, Dinah. Dinah.
37:37I think it says Yankee Tank.
37:39No, no, that's Yankee Tank. That's Yankee Tank.
37:41Trevor or something, Trevor or something like that?
37:44The Corporal?
37:46No, he wasn't a Corporal.
37:48He wasn't a Corporal.
37:50The two that I didn't get before have gone.
37:53Grilly, Itzy, Pitsy.
37:59You've still got two minutes left. What do you want to do?
38:01I want to do nothing, because I don't remember their names.
38:05So I might bust a little two-step.
38:07Come on, Dinah. Oh, hey, oh.
38:10Bah! Bah!
38:12Oh! You know what I'm saying?
38:14Yeah. Yeah, write that down.
38:16When you bust a two-step, add some flavour.
38:18Yeah, it's gone.
38:20Yeah.
38:34Should Baba be rewarded for busting a two-step
38:36and adding some flavour? Yes, yes.
38:40I don't give bonus points, but in my heart,
38:42I am giving you a bonus point, cos I enjoyed it.
38:44Can I check? Jack said Grilly instead of Grillsy.
38:47Is that close enough? And similarly, Yank Tank and Yankee Tank.
38:50I think maybe we should give him one of them. Thank you.
38:52Baba remembered six out of the ten.
38:54Jack, seven out of the ten. Not bad.
38:56Not bad at all. But there is one more to see. Yes.
38:59It is Emma Seedy, or, to use her full name,
39:02Emma Compact Disc. Here she is.
39:06I'm taking the gloves off for this.
39:08The Colonel.
39:10Chisel, Dina, Trev, Reggie, Blanket,
39:14uh, Tamsin Houseway.
39:16Tamsin.
39:18This one's new.
39:20OK.
39:28Jemima.
39:29No, it's not that, but I'm really stuck.
39:31Um...
39:33HE GASPS
39:34You've got little pickies, you bastard.
39:37Look at these.
39:39Chisel.
39:40Oh, you knew that one.
39:41Yeah, I know, I don't need that.
39:45Grillsy!
39:50The Yank Tank.
39:52Yank Tank.
39:56Gordo.
39:57Oh, Gordo.
39:59You're just missing Tamsin Houseway, is that right?
40:01Yes, yes, yes, yes.
40:03Tamsin.
40:04Still a minute, then.
40:07HE SIGHS
40:09Oh, Jizzy, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy.
40:12Izzy.
40:13That was exciting.
40:14I'm glad you took my gloves off for that.
40:16I needed to be there.
40:20Genuinely impressive.
40:22Already impressive before you cracked the code
40:24and found Alex's nerdy little system.
40:26Yeah, thanks, guys.
40:27But she had, like Baba, two minutes to spare
40:29and thought there must be something else here, and there was.
40:31Yeah, interesting. Two very different systems.
40:33Two minutes to spare.
40:34There must be something else I can investigate here.
40:37Yeah. I'm going to bust a toaster.
40:41Right, then. OK.
40:42Andy and Rosie both only remembered one person,
40:45so they share fourth place.
40:47They get two points each.
40:48Baba comes third, gets three points.
40:50Jack comes second, but gets eight points.
40:52HE GASPS
40:53Because of the very wise hot dog choice,
40:55Emma wins the task.
40:56Five points to Emma.
40:57There it is.
40:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:02Quick look at the scores, then.
41:04Yes, the hot dog is in the lead.
41:0617 points.
41:07First place, Jack D.
41:08Nice.
41:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:14OK, it's time for me to make your way to the stage
41:16for the final task of the show!
41:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:24Hello, old friends. I'm over here.
41:26Who will be reading the task out?
41:28Rosie Jones, please.
41:29Rosie Jones, take it away.
41:56This person has to spin it one more time
42:02than the previous person.
42:06It will become clearer as we play.
42:08Andy, please come over to the wheel.
42:10It just needs a medium spin.
42:12If you stand sort of where I'm standing, but the other side,
42:14that'll be... Oh, what are you doing?
42:16Checking the integrity of the wheel?
42:18Well, just the physics of it, you know, how it's...
42:20How it's going to spin. It's a wheel. Right.
42:22LAUGHTER
42:26Lovely spin. Lovely spin.
42:28Beautiful action. Beautiful.
42:31So that's a red.
42:33Andy, I have to ask you, do you want to spin again
42:35or do you want to stick on one?
42:37I'll spin again.
42:38If this lands on black, you're eliminated.
42:41That's a hefty one.
42:42That's more like it.
42:43That's in the spirit of the game. Beautiful action again.
42:45Thanks.
42:46So we're hoping this lands on red, otherwise we lose Andy's ultimate.
42:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:52Who's next?
42:53Barbara's next and he must land two in a row in the same colour.
42:59Oh!
43:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:02Wow. You're through.
43:04Come on.
43:05You've got to spin it three times to get the same colour every time
43:08unless you get gold.
43:09All right.
43:12Lovely.
43:14Lovely, passionate grunt.
43:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:22Jack, you could have got the same colour four times in a row.
43:26I'm going to go the other way.
43:28What?!
43:29Oh, yeah.
43:30LAUGHTER
43:34Oh!
43:38Oh, no.
43:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:46Oh, shut up.
43:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:51That is red. That is red.
43:53No!
43:54Don't touch it.
43:55You've only got to get four more reds.
43:57Or any gold.
43:58Right.
44:05BUZZER
44:07You're in a new relationship.
44:10Well done.
44:13I remember you. Oh, no.
44:16Oh, lovely.
44:19The cartwheel.
44:21Red. Red.
44:22Yeah, they like that. They like that.
44:32BUZZER
44:33Andy's Osman gets two points.
44:37We need five, don't we? Five, yeah.
44:41Come on.
44:43No, not you, bro, this.
44:44Oh!
44:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49It's six, please, Emma. Fair enough.
44:55Come on, come on.
44:56Red. Red.
44:57Five more reds.
44:58Red or gold.
44:59Come on.
45:02One more.
45:03Four more.
45:07Three more.
45:08Brilliant.
45:09Come on!
45:11Right.
45:12Come on.
45:15Come on, now!
45:16Come on.
45:17Go to Jesus.
45:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:23You require seven.
45:25OK, here we go.
45:32That's red. That's red.
45:35Anti-clockwise.
45:38BUZZER
45:39Andy, three points.
45:41OK.
45:42Baba, you require seven.
45:44OK, good.
45:48Gold, gold, gold, gold!
45:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:53You need eight.
45:54Fair enough.
45:55In a row.
46:00Black, Emma.
46:01Come on!
46:02Yep, the lucky come on's back.
46:06BUZZER
46:08We have a winner, and that winner is Babatunde Alisher!
46:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:13Yes!
46:14Yes!
46:16You can have a little tea, Steph, if you want.
46:18Yes!
46:19Hey, come down, we're not into the final scores!
46:21APPLAUSE
46:27Babatunde won the five points.
46:29Well done, Baba.
46:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:34And it has really paid dividends for Baba,
46:36because he's come second last.
46:38At the top of the leaderboard, with 20 points,
46:40it's Jack D!
46:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:42Jack D wins episode two!
46:44Please go and celebrate with your serious yet silly thing!
46:49See you again very soon, but for now,
46:51let's hear it for tonight's winner, Jack D!
46:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE