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00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour
00:31Good afternoon, and welcome to the Countdown studio.
00:34Now, did you see, Rachel, that article the other day
00:37about the most commonly misheard song lyrics?
00:40And I sympathise with this, because maybe it's my hearing,
00:43but I get them all wrong.
00:45But here are the favourite ones, I love them.
00:47Dire Straits, for instance, in their Money For Nothing.
00:50They're misheard as money for nothing and chips for free,
00:54when it should have been and your chicks for free.
00:57ABBA, Dancing Queen, misheard as see that girl,
01:00watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen.
01:03Isn't that brilliant?
01:05When, of course, it should be, watch that scene,
01:07dig in the dancing queen.
01:09Apparently it's the Queen's favourite song.
01:12She said to somebody,
01:14I love dancing and I am the Queen.
01:17Apparently that's the story anyway.
01:19One I like is Bob Dylan, Blown In The Wind.
01:22The answer, my friend, is Blown In The Wind,
01:24but it's misheard as the ants are my friends,
01:27they're blowing in the wind.
01:29Lots of ants blowing around. I don't know.
01:31Do you have any favourites?
01:33Can you pick up the lyrics easily,
01:36or do you find it sometimes difficult?
01:38No.
01:40It's impossible, isn't it?
01:42And there's a brilliant, brilliant sketch with Peter Kay,
01:44and he does a whole seven minutes on misheard song lyrics.
01:47And you know the song We Are Family? Yes.
01:50I think there's a bit where he says,
01:52Just let me staple the vicar.
01:54And as soon as you hear that,
01:56that's all you can hear for the rest of the song.
01:58Just let me staple the vicar.
02:00Apparently it's just let me staple the record.
02:02Yeah. But all I can hear is the vicar.
02:04He's a laugh, isn't he? He's a great character.
02:07Rachel, I tell you, he's back, another great character.
02:11The fighter, Dave Ashton, security officer from St Helens.
02:15What a comeback you had.
02:17You were all adrift and at sea. Yeah.
02:20David was heading for a big win, then he came back.
02:24Just kicked in. Brilliant.
02:26No, it was extraordinary, exceptional.
02:28Good luck to you today. Thank you.
02:30You've got four wins now.
02:31And you're joined by Kim Wilson.
02:33Welcome, Kim. I'll make it. Thank you.
02:35A retired civil servant from West Kirby on the Wirral.
02:37And you've recently retired and you're thinking,
02:39this is great, and you've got all sorts of things lined up to do.
02:43Name a couple.
02:45Ooh, crown green bowling. Yeah?
02:47Swimming.
02:49University of the Third Age, I think, is that right?
02:51Yes, I believe it's a very enjoyable experience.
02:54No, it's wonderful to be retired, I imagine.
02:56You can do absolutely what you want.
02:58Anyway, here you are.
03:00Would you like to see you both?
03:01Big round of applause for Dave and Kim.
03:07All right, and over in the corner, of course, Susie,
03:10joined once again by Charlie State, journalist and TV presenter.
03:14Welcome back, Charlie.
03:17Welcome back.
03:18Now, Mr Ashton, off you go. Letters game.
03:21Thank you. Afternoon, Rachel. Afternoon, Dave.
03:23Start with a consonant, please. Thank you.
03:25Start today with M.
03:27And another.
03:29S.
03:30And another.
03:32C.
03:33And another.
03:35N.
03:37And a vowel.
03:39O.
03:40And another vowel.
03:42E.
03:43And another vowel.
03:45U.
03:47And a consonant.
03:49T.
03:51And a vowel.
03:53And lastly, A.
03:55Stand by.
04:17Well, Dave?
04:29Seven.
04:30A seven. Kim?
04:31Six.
04:32And your six is?
04:33Count.
04:35Thank you. Dave?
04:36Amount.
04:37Amount.
04:38Yes. Absolutely fine.
04:40Now, can we match that, Charlie and Susie?
04:43Oh, I'm five with a mouse.
04:45Thank you. Susie?
04:47A few times their costume contused to cause a bruise,
04:51but there is an eight there, too.
04:53A seamount. Mountain under the sea.
04:55A seamount, yeah.
04:57APPLAUSE
04:59Thanks, Susie.
05:00Now, seven points to Dave, and it's Kim we turn to.
05:03Kim?
05:04Good afternoon, Rachel. Afternoon, Kim.
05:06Start with a consonant, please. Thank you.
05:08Start with P.
05:10And another, please.
05:12W.
05:13And another.
05:15D.
05:17And a fourth.
05:19J.
05:21And a vowel.
05:23O.
05:25And a vowel.
05:26A.
05:28And a vowel.
05:30E.
05:31And a final consonant.
05:34P.
05:37And a consonant, please.
05:39And last one, X.
05:41And the clock starts from now.
06:12Well, Kim?
06:14Six.
06:15A six, Dave?
06:16A five.
06:17And your five is?
06:19Waxed.
06:20Waxed.
06:21Kim?
06:22Spewed.
06:23No, you need two Es for spewed.
06:25I'm sorry, Joel. Sorry.
06:27Bad luck. Charlie and Susie?
06:29I've got things ending in Ope, like dope and Pope.
06:32Yes.
06:34And Susie?
06:35Yeah, not easy, this one.
06:37Japed is there for five.
06:39But you can put the extra P in and have japped.
06:42And to jap is Scottish and Northern Irish dialect
06:45for spattering over a surface of water.
06:48So, boiling water japped from the spout.
06:50Really?
06:5212 points to Dave.
06:53And, Dave, we turn to you for a numbers game.
06:55First of the day, off we go.
06:59One from the top, please, and five from anyone else.
07:01Your favourite. Thank you, Dave.
07:03One large, five little ones.
07:05They are six, ten, eight, four, one, and 50.
07:12And the target, 259.
07:15259.
07:36Yes, Dave?
07:38258.
07:40258, Kim.
07:42258.
07:44Dave?
07:46Four plus one is five.
07:48Four plus one is five.
07:50Times 50.
07:52Times 50, 250.
07:54Plus eight.
07:56Plus eight, one away.
07:58Kim?
08:00Four times 50, 250.
08:02Times 50, 250.
08:05Four times 50 is 200.
08:07Four 50 is 200.
08:11Lost it. Sorry.
08:13Oh, sorry, Kim.
08:15Bad luck. So, 259. Rachel?
08:17I think they might kick themselves,
08:19cos even Gav over here got this one.
08:21If you say six times ten is 60,
08:24add that on and take the one. 259.
08:26Well done. Well done, Rachel.
08:28Thank you. Thank you indeed.
08:30So, 19 points to Dave as we turn to our first Tea Time teaser,
08:33which is Smiled Hug.
08:35And the clue, the fighter hugged his opponent and smiled
08:38before taking this out.
08:40The fighter hugged his opponent and smiled
08:43before taking this out.
08:45APPLAUSE
09:01Welcome back. I left with the clue,
09:03the fighter hugged his opponent and smiled
09:05before taking this out,
09:07before taking out his gum shield.
09:10Gum shield is what we're after.
09:12Indeed.
09:14To become a Countdown contestant,
09:16you can email countdown at channel4.com
09:19to request an application form
09:21or write to us at contestantsapplications.
09:24Countdown leads LS31JS.
09:29Kim, your letters, Kim.
09:31Start with a consonant, please, Rachel.
09:33Thank you, Kim.
09:35L
09:36And another.
09:38N
09:39And another.
09:41P
09:42And a fourth.
09:44Z
09:45And a vowel.
09:47I
09:48And a vowel.
09:50O
09:52And a vowel.
09:54E
09:56And a consonant.
09:58B
10:00And a vowel, please.
10:02And lastly, A.
10:04Stand by.
10:12CLOCK TICKS
10:37Kim.
10:38Five.
10:39Dave.
10:40I'll try seven.
10:41Right, so, Kim.
10:43Plain.
10:44Thank you, Dave.
10:45Baloney.
10:46Baloney.
10:48You're spelling it with the I-E at the end, yeah.
10:52It's not there, I'm afraid, Dave.
10:54It has to be the E-Y spelling.
10:57Yeah, bad luck.
10:58Nice, no problem.
10:59Charlie and Susie?
11:01I just have four. I have lane.
11:04Yes, Susie?
11:05There is blazon,
11:07as in it was blazoned all over the newspapers.
11:10That's a six, but also a pineable is there for eight,
11:13so able to be debated, a matter of opinion, a pineable.
11:17Thank you. Thanks for that.
11:21So, 19 plays five, and Dave, it's your letters game now.
11:25Dave.
11:26Consonant, please, Rachel.
11:27Thank you, Dave. M.
11:29And another, please.
11:31F
11:33One more.
11:35S
11:37And another.
11:39D
11:41A vowel.
11:43A
11:44Another vowel.
11:46I
11:47Another vowel.
11:49E
11:51A consonant.
11:53G
11:55And a final consonant.
11:57And a final R.
11:59Countdown.
12:05CLOCK TICKS
12:31Yes, Dave?
12:32A seven.
12:33A seven. Kim?
12:35A six.
12:36And the six is...?
12:38Aster.
12:39Thank you. Dave?
12:40Stressed.
12:41There we go.
12:42Happy enough? No.
12:44Susie and Charlie?
12:46Excited.
12:47Yeah.
12:48Yep. Sidearm and tirades, a couple of sevens,
12:51and for eight, Mardiest.
12:54The sulkiest person, the Mardiest.
12:56Mardiest, yeah. Not good.
13:00She's in a Mardi.
13:02Are you in a Mardi or having a Mardi?
13:04You can have a Mardi, you can be a Mardi.
13:07I don't know if you can have a Mardi. Maybe a Mardi fit.
13:11All right, 26 to 5, and it's Kim.
13:14Kim, your numbers game.
13:16Rachel, can I have T from the top and 4 from the bottom, please?
13:19You can indeed, thank you, Kim.
13:21Two large, four little coming up.
13:23And this time the four little ones are 3, 9, 5 and 9,
13:28and the large ones 25 and 100.
13:31And the target, 516.
13:33516.
14:02Well, Kim?
14:04No, I'll start again, I'm afraid.
14:06No. Dave?
14:08516.
14:09516. Tell us about that.
14:115 times 100.
14:13500.
14:1425 minus 9.
14:15Is your 16, well done.
14:17I'll do the other.
14:18Yep.
14:19Well done.
14:23Well done. So, 36 to 5 as we turn to Charlie.
14:28Charlie, you must have met some interesting people,
14:31interviewed interesting people.
14:33Yes, along the way, lots of different people,
14:36sometimes some eccentric individuals.
14:39And one that springs to mind,
14:41Jeff Goldblum has a reputation for being eccentric,
14:44and deservedly so.
14:46So I met him to do an interview for the new Jurassic Park movie,
14:50which he has a tiny part in.
14:52But he is a real character, and when he sits down,
14:55the moment he sits down,
14:57you can't do a conventional interview with him,
14:59because he just meanders.
15:01Literally, you'll ask him something,
15:03he just talks about something else entirely,
15:05or he moves the flowers around on the table,
15:07he does all sorts of things.
15:09And then, jazz is his love, he loves his music,
15:12and I made reference to this, and then he started singing,
15:16and encouraged me to join him in a song,
15:19and the two of us did a short duet version
15:24of Some Enchanted Evening.
15:26Brilliant.
15:28A very curious moment, he's a much better singer than I am,
15:31but he's absolutely delightful.
15:33But it's just the way, you enter people's worlds,
15:35and they kind of get you to do things.
15:37It's part of the joy of what I do. You never know.
15:40Great story. Very good.
15:46Great stuff, Charlie.
15:48Thank you. 36 to 5. Dave on 36.
15:52Dave, it's your letters game.
15:54Thanks, Nick. Consonant, please, Rachel.
15:56Thank you, Dave. T.
15:58And another.
16:01C.
16:03And another.
16:05P.
16:07And one more.
16:09R.
16:11And a vowel.
16:13A.
16:15And another.
16:17O.
16:19And another.
16:21And a consonant.
16:23W.
16:26And a vowel.
16:29And the last one.
16:31O.
16:33Stand by.
16:52MUSIC STOPS
17:05Well, Dave?
17:07I'll go with a 5.
17:09A 5. Kim?
17:114.
17:12And your 4?
17:14Port.
17:15Thank you. Dave?
17:17Croup.
17:18Susie, croup?
17:20C-R-O-U-P rather than double O, I'm afraid.
17:23Sorry, Dave.
17:25Now, what can we have, then?
17:27Charlie and Susie?
17:29I just have a 4, which is poor.
17:31Yep. And?
17:33You can put a T at the end of that for port,
17:35which is a narrow pass through mountains.
17:38But there is a 6 there.
17:40Not a very savoury one, Nick.
17:42A cowpat.
17:44Lovely, a cowpat.
17:46Very good. 36 to 9.
17:48Kim, your letters game.
17:50Start with a consonant, please, Rachel.
17:52Thank you, Kim. G.
17:54And another.
17:56L.
17:57And another.
17:59N.
18:01And another.
18:03R.
18:04And a vowel.
18:06E.
18:07And another.
18:09A.
18:10And another.
18:12E.
18:14And a consonant.
18:16H.
18:18And a vowel, please.
18:20And the last one.
18:22O.
18:23Countdown.
18:47MUSIC STOPS
18:54Yes, Kim?
18:566.
18:576. Thank you, Dave.
18:597.
19:00And a 7. Kim?
19:02Healer.
19:03Healer. And?
19:04General.
19:05There we are. General. Healer.
19:07Charlie?
19:09I just had real.
19:11Real? Yep.
19:13Susie?
19:14Allergen.
19:16And there's also gleaner.
19:18Remember the famous picture of the gleaners by Millet?
19:21Thanks for that.
19:2343 plays 9.
19:25And, Dave, numbers time.
19:27One from the top and five from anywhere else, please.
19:30Thank you, Dave. Your usual, one large, five little.
19:33And this time around, they are 7, 10, 3, 5, 7 and 75.
19:41And the target, 957.
19:43957.
19:45MUSIC
20:12MUSIC STOPS
20:15Yes, Dave?
20:17958.
20:19One away. And, Kim?
20:21No, sorry, lost it again. Too far?
20:23Yeah, sorry. Dave?
20:25Um, 3...
20:273 x 7 is 21.
20:29Yep.
20:31Plus 75.
20:3396.
20:34Times 10.
20:35960.
20:38And 7 minus 5 is 2.
20:40And the other 7. Yep.
20:42Lovely. One away. 958.
20:44Well done indeed. But 957.
20:46Rachel, can you finish this off for us?
20:49Yes. If you say 75 plus 5 plus 7 is 87.
20:55And then the other 7 times 3 is 21.
20:59Minus 10 for 11.
21:01And 11...87s are 957.
21:04Thank you. Well done.
21:07Spot on as ever.
21:0950 plays 9 as we turn to our second Tea Time teaser,
21:12which is Irish Deal and the clue.
21:14Everyone kept telling her to get a grip, but she got this instead.
21:18Everyone kept telling her to get a grip, but she got this instead.
21:23MUSIC
21:31APPLAUSE
21:37Welcome back. A warm welcome back.
21:39I left you with a clue. Everyone kept telling her to get a grip,
21:42but she got this instead. She got a hair slide.
21:45A hair slide.
21:47Now, Kim, your letters game.
21:50Start with a consonant, please, Rachel.
21:52Thank you, Kim. V.
21:54And another.
21:56S.
21:58And another.
22:00T.
22:01And another.
22:03R.
22:04And a vowel.
22:06E.
22:07And another.
22:09I.
22:10And another.
22:12U.
22:14And another.
22:17A.
22:19And a consonant, please.
22:21And the last one. Y.
22:23Stand by.
22:25MUSIC
22:35MUSIC
22:57Kim. Seven.
22:59A seven. Dave.
23:01Seven. Yes, Kim.
23:03Vestry. There we go.
23:05Happy enough, Susie? Yep.
23:07And what have we got there? Charlie and Susie?
23:09Well, I put down ruse. Can I have a ruse?
23:12You can have ruse. Yes, a ruse.
23:14There's variety there for seven.
23:17And you can push it to an eight with vestry.
23:19You might find a vestry in a monastery, for example.
23:21It's where clothes or robes are kept.
23:24It's vestury, is it? I thought it was vestry.
23:27APPLAUSE
23:29That's where the priest dresses for mass, yeah?
23:32Yes, and vestry is very similar, so that's V-E-S-T-R-Y.
23:36Is it the same thing?
23:38It comes from the same root, yes.
23:40Used as an office and for changing into ceremonial vestments.
23:43Or it goes back to the French for clothing.
23:45Yeah, sure. Vestuary. OK.
23:4757-16. Dave, it's your letters game.
23:50Consonant, please, Rachel.
23:52Thank you, Dave. H.
23:54And another.
23:56T.
23:58And another.
24:00E.
24:02And one more.
24:04N.
24:06And a vowel.
24:08O.
24:10And another.
24:12E.
24:14And another.
24:16O.
24:18And a consonant.
24:20R.
24:22And another consonant.
24:25And lastly, D.
24:27Countdown.
24:30CLOCK TICKS
24:33CLOCK TICKS
24:58Dave. Seven.
25:00Kim. Risky, seven.
25:02Now then, Dave.
25:04Throned.
25:06Kim. Throned.
25:08OK, happy enough, Susie? Absolutely.
25:10And Charlie, what have we got? Susie and Charlie.
25:13I write down boned. Yes.
25:15Boned, otherwise throned and thorned.
25:18Thank you. Well done.
25:2064-23.
25:22Susie, your origins of words, what have you for us today?
25:26I have an email from Erin Gordon who has asked,
25:29can you help with the origin of the saying six and half a dozen?
25:32She says, well, I'm aware of what it means, but unsure where it came from.
25:36And in full, as a lot of people will know,
25:39it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.
25:42And when you hear it in full, then it becomes fairly self-explanatory.
25:45It means there's little or no difference between two sets of things or people.
25:50It's the same difference, in other words.
25:53But it got me thinking, it goes incidentally back to 1836,
25:56so it's been with us for a while,
25:58but it got me thinking about other expressions that involve dozens.
26:02And we talk about a baker's dozen, which is 13 so-called,
26:06because a baker's dozen, they would always make an extra loaf to give to the tax collectors,
26:11and that was their profit, if you liked, at the end of it.
26:15But there's another one, which is a fairly illogical expression,
26:18and I've been guilty of using this myself, in fact, using it incorrectly,
26:21and that's talking ten to the dozen.
26:24And I use that almost as often as I tell my kids not to eat with their mouth full,
26:29as it's one of those expressions that seems to make sense when you say it,
26:32but obviously it's completely illogical.
26:34The original expression, of course, was talking not ten to the dozen, but 19 to the dozen.
26:40In other words, the rate of someone's talking is so great
26:42that when other people can merely say a dozen words,
26:46the other person, the very chatty person, gets in 19.
26:49And there's a very popular story associated with this one,
26:52which, if you delve a little bit more deeply, is quite interesting.
26:56It's said that in the 18th century, the new steam engines that were being invented then
27:02could pump 19,000 gallons of water out of a tin mine
27:06whilst only burning 12 bushels of coal,
27:09which would give a very new history, if you like, to 19 to the dozen.
27:14It's a lovely idea, and I was very excited when I read that,
27:17but unfortunately, again, the evidence just doesn't fit,
27:20and it simply is a matter of numbers in the end.
27:23I'm not completely sure. The early history is quite obscure,
27:26so someday we may find evidence to support that lovely story.
27:29But as for ten to the dozen, what I use all the time,
27:32it's a really good example, as I say, of how illogical phrases,
27:36having your cake and eating it, etc., seem to just crop up
27:40and then stick with us for a while, and we lose the logic of the original.
27:44But it happens a lot.
27:46Thank you. Very good.
27:49APPLAUSE
27:5119 to the dozen. 64 to 23.
27:54Kim, your letters, Kim.
27:56Thank you. Start with a consonant, please, Rachel.
27:59M
28:01And another.
28:03R
28:05And another.
28:07D
28:09And another.
28:11L
28:13And a vowel.
28:15I
28:18E
28:21And another.
28:23Another E.
28:25And a consonant, please.
28:27And lastly, G.
28:29Stand by.
28:47MUSIC
29:01Yes, Kim?
29:03Six.
29:05And Dave?
29:07Six.
29:09And your six is?
29:11Deluge.
29:13Deluge and?
29:15I have just real for you.
29:17Yes.
29:19There is an interesting eight there.
29:21Demiurge.
29:23D-E-M-I-U-R-G-E.
29:25And it's being responsible for the creation of the universe,
29:28a heavenly being, in other words.
29:30APPLAUSE
29:32Well done.
29:3470 to 29.
29:36Dave, final letters game. Good luck.
29:40Consonant, please, Rachel.
29:42S
29:44And another.
29:46L
29:48And another.
29:50N
29:52And one more, please.
29:54Q
29:56And a vowel.
29:58A
30:00Another vowel.
30:02I
30:04Another vowel.
30:06E
30:08A consonant.
30:10T
30:12And the last one.
30:14A.
30:16Well done.
30:18MUSIC
30:42MUSIC STOPS
30:46Well, Dave?
30:48A seven.
30:50A seven. Kim?
30:52Seven.
30:54Thank you, Dave.
30:56Salient.
30:58And?
31:00Entails.
31:02Entails.
31:04Pretty good.
31:06Can we match a seven there in the corner?
31:08No.
31:10It's with a salinate to make salty,
31:13so if you salinate water, it becomes brine.
31:16Yeah, sure. Thank you.
31:1877 to 36.
31:20Into the final numbers game for Kim Wilson. Yes, Kim?
31:23Rachel, can I have two from the top and four from the bottom, please?
31:26You can indeed. I'll pick a nice one.
31:28Two large, four little to finish the day.
31:30And they are...
31:324, 6, 6, 9, 75 and 25.
31:38And the target, 462.
31:40462.
31:42MUSIC
32:09MUSIC STOPS
32:11Well, Kim?
32:13No, I've lost it again.
32:15No. How about Dave?
32:17462.
32:19Take it away.
32:21Six minus four is two. Yep.
32:23Add it on, so 75.
32:2577.
32:26And multiply by the other six.
32:27That'll do it. 462. Well done.
32:29Well done.
32:31Well done, Dave.
32:33Good score. 87 to 36. Well done, Dave.
32:35It's a good score. Into the final round.
32:37The buzzers on buzzers.
32:39Let's roll today's Countdown Conundrum.
32:41MUSIC
33:08MUSIC STOPS
33:11Nope. Let's have a look.
33:13How tricky was this one?
33:15Migratory. No.
33:17Cos you're normally red hot on these days.
33:19Never mind.
33:2187's a cracking score and it brings you your fifth win too.
33:25So, Kim, well played.
33:27You're up against a formidable player there.
33:29But thank you very much indeed for coming.
33:31And you go back to West Kirby and your crown green bowling
33:35and all the other exciting things you've got saved up for your retirement.
33:40Take this Oxford Dictionary with you.
33:42Thank you. Thank you very much for coming.
33:44Well done. And we shall see you tomorrow.
33:46Again, yes. Wow, you'll be after number six.
33:49I hope so. Well, you will be.
33:51Let's see how you get on.
33:53And we'll see Charlie and Susie tomorrow, of course.
33:55We look forward to that. And Rachel will also see you tomorrow.
33:58See you tomorrow. Of course we will.
34:00Join us then, same time, same place.
34:02You'll be sure of it. A very good afternoon.
34:05You can contact the programme by email at countdown at channel4.com,
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34:15You can also find our webpage at channel4.com forward slash countdown.