For the last time, this is Patrick! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for Patrick Star’s funniest, silliest, and most entertaining quotes and actions in the SpongeBob SquarePants series.
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00:00Tch! Tch! Open sesame!
00:03Well, I've done all I can do.
00:06Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for Patrick Starr's funniest,
00:11silliest, and most entertaining quotes and actions in the Spongebob Squarepants series.
00:16Wumbology? The study of Wumbo? It's first grade, Spongebob!
00:22Number 20. My name's not Rick.
00:25Patrick is very happy with his name, and he wants no one mistaking him for someone else.
00:31That's evident in the Fry Cook Games episode, when a ripped Spongebob and Patrick compete
00:35against each other in a wrestling match. Pencil in hand!
00:39Spongebob forcefully presses the eraser onto Patrick's name tag, erasing the pat.
00:44This infuriates his pal, who rises to his feet atop the Krabby Patty ring and yells out his defiance.
00:51My name's not Rick!
00:56Enraged, he hurls himself back at Spongebob. Point taken!
01:00This moment lets everyone know Patrick is proudly Patrick, so don't call him anything else.
01:06I never liked you! I a thousand times never liked you!
01:10Pink! Yellow!
01:16Number 19. May I take your hat, sir?
01:19In the Squilliam Returns episode, Squidward wants to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy
01:24five-star restaurant to impress a wealthy former classmate.
01:28Patrick eagerly commits himself to retraining.
01:30Patrick, what are you doing here?
01:31I thought the court would help me straighten out my life, sir!
01:34When Squidward asks Patrick if he has what it takes to work in an upscale restaurant,
01:39Patrick's response is a gem.
01:41It's not just the line itself that makes this moment hilarious, but Patrick's tone and delivery
01:46Eyes wide, teeth showing, and eyelashes now visible.
01:49May I take your hat, sir?
01:52May I-
01:53Alright, I've heard enough.
01:54We'd eat at this fancy restaurant just for Patrick alone.
01:57Number 18.
01:58It's a giraffe!
01:59Not everyone knows they're animals.
02:02That includes Patrick's star.
02:04When Spongebob puts on an impressive bubble-blowing display, Patrick is highly entertained.
02:10First comes an aesthetically pleasing bubble boat, then Spongebob grasps his bubble wand
02:15with both hands.
02:16And now, with two hands!
02:24He proceeds to produce an elegant bubble elephant, which floats its way over to Squidward's house.
02:30But wait, that's not an elephant.
02:32Well, not according to Patrick, who thinks it's a giraffe.
02:35It's a giraffe!
02:38Enriching the moment is Patrick's silly, prolonged laugh.
02:44He certainly doesn't do himself any favors in thwarting the starfish-living-under-a-rock stereotypes.
02:50Number 17.
02:51Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee.
02:52After a giant anchor drops into Spongebob's pineapple house and then hits Squidward's
02:58house, it's time to figure out the source of the commotion.
03:01So Squidward, followed by Spongebob and Patrick, climbs up the rope, which leads to a green
03:06glowing ship.
03:07On that ship is none other than the pirate ghost known as the Flying Dutchman.
03:11I am the Flying Dutchman!
03:14That's it!
03:16Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron!
03:19After he tosses Squidward into a terrifying void, the intimidated Patrick and Spongebob
03:24agree to join his ship crew.
03:26The Flying Dutchman shows off his pirate call.
03:29Spongebob attempts one himself, and finally Patrick chimes in with a rather unorthodox
03:34sound.
03:35Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee.
03:36BOWWWWWWWW!
03:38MAAAAA!
03:39His facial expression makes it all the more comical.
03:43Number 16.
03:44Who ya callin' Pinhead?
03:46While Sandy's in hibernation, Spongebob and Patrick find themselves outside roleplaying
03:51as Pinhead Larry and Dirty Dan.
03:53During this scene, Spongebob, sporting a cowboy hat, tells Pinhead his time is up.
03:58All right, Pinhead, your time is up!
04:02When the camera shifts to Patrick, who doesn't quite look like the same old Patrick, he noticeably
04:08has a nose, a couple of forehead wrinkles, smaller eyes, a pair of ears, and no eyebrows.
04:14Really immersed in this role-playing game, he delivers an unforgettable line in the process.
04:21The unusual facial expression combined with the line itself and Patrick's ironic unawareness
04:26makes this a classic Patrick moment.
04:2915.
04:31The owner of the white sedan There is an element of amusing randomness
04:34in Spongebob.
04:36One such example comes after Patrick hears the word kicking during band rehearsal.
04:40Is this the part where we start kicking?
04:42No, Spongebob, that's a chorus line.
04:44Kicking?
04:45Oh, I wanna do some kicking!
04:48After he clumsily kicks Sandy, she angrily beats him up, and they tumble outside the
04:52music hall.
04:54Patrick screams in pain as the camera shifts to the doors and then the faces of the patient
04:59audience.
05:00After several seconds, the door opens, Patrick's head leans in, and of all things, he utters,
05:05''Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!''
05:10The moment only gets funnier when Patrick re-enters, his body shoved through a trombone.
05:1614.
05:17I love you In an episode where Patrick and Spongebob
05:20assume the roles of door-to-door chocolate bar salesmen, it's time to pull out the sales
05:25strategies.
05:27Spongebob advises his buddy to try flattery, in other words, a little sweet talk.
05:31That's it!
05:32He made us feel special!
05:33Yeah, he did.
05:34I'm going back to buy more bags!
05:36No way, Patrick!
05:37Why don't we try being nice?
05:41Patrick takes this advice and runs with it.
05:43He knocks on the door, and when the customer opens it, Patrick tells him he loves him.
05:48I love you.
05:51I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal.
05:54The background music during this line does an exceptional job of enhancing the light-hearted
05:58moment, and the customer's response to Patrick is an aggressive slamming of the door.
06:03We can't blame him.
06:0513.
06:06I thought you said, ''Weest'' It's common knowledge that the main cardinal
06:09points are North, South, East, and West.
06:12But our friend Patrick isn't so, well, common.
06:16Patrick, you're fired!
06:17But I don't even work here!
06:18Would you like a job starting now?
06:19Why would I?
06:20You're fired.
06:21In the episode, ''Arg,'' Mr. Krabs, Spongebob, and Patrick go on a treasure hunt.
06:28Just when they think they've reached the spot, a surprised Mr. Krabs notices there's no X.
06:34Patrick and Spongebob appear befuddled as well.
06:36That's when Patrick realizes his mistake...sort of.
06:40It turns out he thought Mr. Krabs said, ''Weest?'' and he had led them West.
06:45Oh, East?
06:46I thought you said, ''Weest'' Weest?
06:49Weest?
06:50What kind of compass are you reading, lad?
06:53Well, better than leading them Weest, maybe?
06:5612.
06:57We have technology In this episode, Spongebob and Patrick are
07:01tasked with painting the inside of Mr. Krabs' house.
07:04Warned not to let the paint get on anything but the walls, the boyos find themselves in
07:09a pickle.
07:10Paint gets on the money-hungry Mr. Krabs' precious first dollar.
07:14We're dead, Patrick!
07:15Do you know what that is?
07:16It's a dollar!
07:18It's a dollar!
07:19I win!
07:20They try several things to get it off, but struggle mightily.
07:24At one point, Patrick suggests what could hopefully be a solution.
07:28Gesturing toward a computer, he points out that they have technology.
07:31Wait, Spongebob!
07:32We're not cavemen!
07:33We have technology!
07:38With the dollar bill placed on the table, Patrick proceeds to violently slam it with
07:42the computer, hoping to get rid of the paint.
07:45Hey, you were almost onto something, Patrick!
07:4811.
07:50Firmly Grasp It A painfully funny instance of Patrick's
07:53obliviousness comes when he's out jellyfishing with Spongebob and Squidward.
07:58After suffering serious bodily injuries, Squidward looks like a mummy in a wheelchair.
08:03But Patrick is blissfully unaware of Squidward's limitations.
08:07Firmly grasp it in your hand.
08:13Firmly grasp it.
08:16In an attempt to help Squidward jellyfish, Patrick offers some advice.
08:21But in his injured and bandaged state, Squidward can't hold anything, firmly or not.
08:26Getting frustrated, Patrick gets annoyed and shouts out his advice, aggressively driving
08:31the net through Squidward's hand.
08:33Firmly grasp it!
08:35That oughta do it.
08:38At least Patrick's mistakes, painful as they can be for others, translate into laughs for
08:45us.
08:4610.
08:47It's Not My Wallet Okay, Man Ray, are you ready for your first
08:51day at goodness school?
08:52Granted, it was probably a bad idea from the beginning to include Patrick in any scenario
08:57that involves teaching someone to be good, because the starfish's ignorance has been
09:01known to irritate even the most patient of people.
09:04So you can imagine why a supervillain like Man Ray was pushed over the edge.
09:09While Spongebob tries to show the evildoer how to be nice, he asks Patrick to take part
09:14in a little role-playing, where Man Ray tries to return his dropped wallet.
09:18Let's just say it doesn't go so well.
09:21This is your I.D.
09:22Yep.
09:23I found this I.D. in this wallet.
09:26And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
09:30That makes sense to me.
09:33Then take it.
09:34It's not my wallet.
09:35No!
09:369.
09:37Not Until 4 You can always count on Patrick to blurt
09:40out the most nonsensical things, even in times of crisis.
09:44When the sandboarding accident causes Spongebob to be sent plummeting towards the ground,
09:49Sandy yells out instructions on how to minimize the damage.
09:52Land on your bottom!
09:54Patrick chimes in, and what comes out of his mouth is not very helpful.
09:58No, your other bottom!
09:59Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
10:02Not until 4.
10:03We do learn, however, that he does have something of a schedule for his stupidity, as he's gotta
10:08go and be an idiot somewhere at 4.
10:10I wonder how that turned out.
10:128.
10:13Where's the leak, ma'am?
10:15Patrick really got the short end of the stick when Spongebob's crudely drawn, evil doppelganger
10:19came to life and started wreaking all kinds of havoc.
10:22Not that we particularly mind, since every time he gets hurt in this episode is rather
10:28hilarious.
10:29One such example is when Spongebob and Patrick are stuck down a hole of Doodle Bob's making.
10:34Obviously thinking that it wasn't enough, he decides to drop a doodle wrench on Patrick's
10:39head.
10:40Where's the leak, ma'am?
10:41From the impact, we can only guess that it's just as heavy as a real one.
10:467.
10:47Push it somewhere else
10:49In the wake of a giant worm attack, the citizens of Bikini Bottom fear for their lives.
10:54We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!
11:01That idea may just be crazy enough to get us all killed!
11:06While thinking up solutions, Patrick comes up with the initially rejected plan of pushing
11:10the entire city to a different location.
11:13As it turns out, while the residents seem to have faith in Spongebob and Sandy's ability
11:17to catch the worm, they immediately fall back on Patrick's plan.
11:21Push!
11:25Push!
11:28This turns out to be a good idea with a poor execution, as by the end of the episode, Bikini
11:33Bottom winds up getting crushed under said worm.
11:36A for effort, though!
11:386.
11:39Wumbo
11:40Is Wumbo even a word?
11:41Patrick seems to think so.
11:43After accidentally shrinking Squidward with Mermaid Man's stolen utility belt, Spongebob
11:48seeks Patrick's advice on how to fix the problem.
11:51His solution is turning the M insignia upside down into a W, essentially turning it from
11:56Minnie to Wumbo.
11:57In fact, Patrick seems to be an expert on the subject, what with his excessive knowledge
12:02on Wumbology.
12:13As it happens, his argument falls to pieces when he too is shrunk down to miniscule size.
12:18So much for Wumbo!
12:215.
12:22Finland
12:23Doodlebob strikes again, literally, as this time he's armed with a bowling ball.
12:28As Spongebob and Patrick try to figure a way out of the hole after recovering from the
12:32wrench to the head, Doodle manages to literally splatter Patrick into several pins with just
12:38a single throw.
12:41We're guessing that it must have hurt, because when Spongebob asks if he's okay, he responds
12:46like this.
12:48Either Patrick has quite the concussion, or he was hit so hard that he actually ended
12:54up in said Nordic country.
12:574.
12:58Inner Machinations
13:07Patrick and his antics surrounding the mysterious box that seemed to cause him an endless amount
13:11of joy made for one of the funniest episodes of this series, mainly due to both Spongebob
13:16and the audience's growing desire to see what exactly he was hiding in there.
13:21Patrick doesn't make it easy though, even lecturing his friends that he couldn't comprehend
13:25what's inside, since his innermost thoughts are far too complex for your average undersea
13:30folk.
13:35This is perfectly encapsulated with the visual representation of a carton of spilled milk.
13:40Yeah, that's Patrick alright.
13:433.
13:44The Ugly Barnacle
13:47Patrick may truly care for his friend deep down, but in terms of offering moral support,
13:52he is the last person you should go to.
13:55When Spongebob ends up with horrendously bad breath, civilians start running away from
13:59him in order to avoid the smell.
14:01But thanks to a few offhand remarks by Patrick, he starts to believe it's because he's ugly.
14:09Patrick, being the sensitive soul that he is, tries to cheer him up with a story about
14:15except it ends up having the complete opposite effect.
14:292.
14:30Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?
14:31With Patrick's IQ being what it is, you can imagine that his knowledge of musical instruments
14:37is about as low as everything else.
14:39When Squidward gathers the main residents of Bikini Bottom together to form a marching
14:44band, he asks if anyone has any previous experience with any kinds of instruments.
14:58As it happens, Patrick does indeed have a back catalog, just as long as you count mayonnaise
15:04and horseradish as actual experience.
15:07We may never actually get to see him play any condiments, but it can't be denied he's
15:12a natural drummer.
15:17Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
15:2224.
15:23Nervous Patrick struggles to tell his name to the class
15:3824.
15:39Are you Squidward?
15:40Patrick asks a fire hydrant if it's Squidward.
15:51I can't see my forehead.
15:53Patrick fumes about his inability to see his forehead.
16:02You took my only food!
16:04Patrick claims he's gonna starve while there's chocolate on his face.
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16:321.
16:33No, this is Patrick
16:38Not since Leonidas' signature war cry has a phrase been uttered with so much conviction
16:43that it resonates within the hearts of warriors everywhere.
16:46Though in this case, it's because it's just plain funny.
16:49Taken on board as a staff member at the Krusty Krab, Patrick tries his hand working the phone.
16:55However, as customers call in and ask if they're indeed calling the right establishment,
17:00Patrick gives what can only be considered a legendary response.
17:10If you didn't know his name before, you will after this.
17:16Let us know in the comments what Patrick moment you think never gets old.
17:31Do you agree with our picks?
17:33Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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