How did David Archuleta embrace his queer identity? | Updated with Nelson Canlas
Five years since David Archuleta’s last concert in the Philippines — ngayon, nagbabalik siya to serenade his Filipino fans plus he's got a brand new album!
3 years ago, matatandaang umaming “queer” o miyembro ng LGBTQ community ang American Idol Season 7 runner-up. Paano nagbago ang buhay niya pagkatapos mag-come out? Magiging open kaya siya tungkol sa kanyang love life? Panoorin sa pinakabagong episode ng Updated with Nelson Canlas.
3 years ago, matatandaang umaming “queer” o miyembro ng LGBTQ community ang American Idol Season 7 runner-up. Paano nagbago ang buhay niya pagkatapos mag-come out? Magiging open kaya siya tungkol sa kanyang love life? Panoorin sa pinakabagong episode ng Updated with Nelson Canlas.
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00:00I think a lot of times you have wounds from your past that still hurt you and you feel like you need to protect yourself from other people and from love, from relationships.
00:11It can feel scary because of, like, what if I get hurt again?
00:15Are you dating anyone?
00:16Am I dating anybody?
00:17Well, I've been able to experience getting to know guys and to date guys and it's been really beautiful.
00:23Today on the podcast, we are going international.
00:26Our guest is a singer who has captured the hearts of fans all over the world.
00:31Kasama na tayo ang mga Pilipino.
00:33And after five years, since his last concert here in the Philippines, he's back to serenade us once again with his hits like
00:41Crush, A Little Too Not Over You, Touch My Hand, and his latest single, Rather Be Lonely.
00:48Welcome to the podcast, Mr. David Archuleta.
00:51It's nice to see you again, David.
00:55Good to see you, Nels.
00:56You know, I think I, since 2008, every time you come home, I would always go back, you know, go to the airport and meet you and interview you there.
01:07Oh my gosh.
01:08At the airport.
01:10At the airport.
01:11That's right.
01:12Oh my goodness.
01:13How have you been since the last time?
01:17It's been like years now.
01:18Yeah, old, I guess.
01:21Old, me too.
01:22No, you're not.
01:23Most Filipinos, if not all Filipinos, know you.
01:26Well, thank you.
01:27I love my Filipinos and I'm so excited to be coming back.
01:31It's been since before the pandemic, so I think five or six years now.
01:37I know. I know.
01:38And I want to know, David, how Filipino are you?
01:42Like, you know, that's quote and unquote, how Filipino is David Archuleta, because you love coming back here.
01:49And there must have been really good experiences here.
01:53That you like coming back to.
01:55Yeah, I think especially after filming Nandito Ako, the mini, the miniseries, where I was able to become friends.
02:03I spent, I think I spent four to six weeks in the Philippines straight.
02:07And every day I was there eating the food and spending time with my fellow Pinoys.
02:15And I, I was just like, we have so much in common.
02:18Like, I felt like we were kindred spirits and it really touched my heart.
02:22And I was just like, I don't want to leave.
02:25I just love everybody here.
02:27And I loved my friends that I made there.
02:29And so, like, and I've kept in touch with some of them every now and then since I've gone back.
02:38Like, I haven't talked to her much lately, but like, you know, Jasmine Curtis-Smith and Ana Feleo.
02:46And I think those are like the main ones that I've, and some of the people that I worked with on the TV station.
02:52As well, I've just would check in with and we would visit and sing karaoke together and things like that.
03:01I've just had a special bond with the friends I've made in the Philippines.
03:07That is right.
03:07And do you remember any special favorite Filipino food of yours?
03:12Like, do you get that in the US?
03:16Yes, I have.
03:17I have gone to some Filipino restaurants.
03:19And usually, I think I have a special love for Halo-Halo.
03:25So when I can find a place that sells it, I'm always so excited.
03:28I'm like, oh my gosh, Halo-Halo.
03:30Because when we were in the Philippines, we would find a place like on the corner, wherever we were, we would look for a place that would sell some good Halo-Halo.
03:41And I do love some pancit as well.
03:43I do love the sisig.
03:44But I look forward to going back and trying some more from the Philippines.
03:50You know, it's great to find restaurants outside of the Philippines, but to go back and have the food would be wonderful.
03:55Maybe you wanted to explore other cuisine in the Philippines, like probably Visayan or Mindanao cuisine.
04:03Oh, I don't know if I've had that.
04:06You know, I'm married to a Mindanao chef.
04:09I got you.
04:10Really?
04:11And he's a big fan.
04:13So, oh my gosh, we are going to watch your show and we're going to we're going to send you Mindanao food.
04:21Oh my gosh, I would love that.
04:23I would love that.
04:26Do you remember any Filipino words?
04:30Of course, you've been here and you felt like you were a local, so you probably have learned a lot of Filipino words.
04:37Yeah, I mean, there's the one phrase that I always remember from the mini-series when I recorded, which was
04:44Wala naman akong ginagawa masama sayo.
04:48My pronunciation is probably not as good as it was before, but that's something I always remember when I'm talking to people who speak Tagalog.
04:57That's usually my phrase.
04:58I'm like, well, this is my one phrase I know.
05:01Until now.
05:01And what is their reaction?
05:04They usually laugh.
05:07Yeah. And then, of course, like salamat and mahal kita, like those, mabuhay, those are the simple phrases I know, but I'll have to learn some more.
05:18We are going to talk about you coming back home in the Philippines on September 14.
05:25OK. And, you know, over the years, we all know that there are a lot of changes in your life and even your musicality.
05:33And what are your surprises for the Filipino audience?
05:36Gosh, I mean, well, I'm out now, so that's that's pretty different.
05:45I wasn't out the last time I went to the Philippines.
05:48I came out when I was 30 years old.
05:49So just three years ago.
05:51And so I think I'm excited to to be there because I feel like I'm so much more comfortable with myself compared to before.
05:58Before, I was always like so scared and like so nervous that people were going to find the ugly parts of me.
06:06And I didn't know what that was, but I was like, there's something inside me that's horrible.
06:11And I think I was always afraid of being a queer person, being gay, being out.
06:16And I say queer because it's like I don't I don't think, you know, the LGBTQ plus community is not always 100 percent.
06:26You're not just 100 percent straight and you're not 100 percent gay.
06:29Like there's there's spectrum.
06:31So I just like to say queer because I feel like there's some some of that in me.
06:35But I'm you know, I I like guys and for the most part, and I've found joy just allowing myself to connect with them on a romantic level and see like this thing that I thought was going to be the end of my soul and going to turn me into an evil person.
06:52If anything, it's like, wow, like this is this is how I've always been.
06:55And I'm just finally accepting it and I'm not afraid of it anymore.
07:00And I can love myself and I can love other people more fully now because I thought I have to change this about me if I can ever receive love.
07:09And it made me hate myself so much.
07:11And so to accept the scary thing about me and realize it's a beautiful thing has changed my life and it's changed my music.
07:19It's changed the way I perform.
07:21And so I can't wait to bring this new like David 2.0 into into the show on September, September 14th.
07:29That is right. Since, you know, since we are we are already talking about you coming out.
07:36OK, I a lot of people, including myself, experienced that so many eons ago.
07:43But we all know that you lost a lot of people in the process, but you gained a lot of new ones.
07:49How is that for you?
07:50It was scary to lose the people that had always been there from my conservative side.
07:56You know, I grew up very religious, very Mormon as a Latter-day Saint.
08:01And that was my audience.
08:03That was a lot of my fans who would come to my shows.
08:06So to then come out and a lot of them still were very supportive, but a lot of them at the same time were very disappointed because they don't understand what it means.
08:15They think you're making a choice.
08:17They think it's selfish and they don't understand that people who are queer, especially when they grow up in a conservative religious background, that is not supportive of that and not accepting.
08:29They do everything they can to try and not be queer.
08:34And so it's like they think you're just making this decision suddenly to be selfless.
08:40Like, you know what? If anything, I've done everything I can to try and be straight.
08:44And but they still don't understand that a lot of them, a lot of them did.
08:50A lot of them learned like my mom.
08:52My mom learned because she didn't understand it at first.
08:55She thought the right thing to do was to say, I don't accept this about you.
09:00And I feel like a lot of people feel like that.
09:02So a lot of people have had to learn.
09:05And in the process, like you said, it's been amazing to be so well received by the LGBTQIA plus community and to see that there's so many other people who have gone through the same thing as me, who have helped by them being themselves have made it easier for people.
09:25Like me to come out and to be myself.
09:28And I hope to just keep passing it along because we've made so much progress.
09:33The work is not done.
09:34There's still pushback a lot of times with culture and society, with incorrect assumptions that are made about our community.
09:44And I just hope to prove her wrong, just to say like, you know, there's not much different between us.
09:50We just, you know, the who I love happens to be the same sex as me.
09:59But, you know, there's we want all the same things.
10:03We want someone to watch TV with and to go out and watch a movie and eat lunch, go work out together.
10:10Ask how you're doing, make dreams and goals together, support each other in your hobbies, your work, your aspirations, and just to be a team together.
10:22I think it's, you know, our biological upmake happens to bring us together and it may look different because we happen to both be guys.
10:31But aside from that, everything else is the same thing, you know.
10:36And, you know, I'm about to ask you a really very Filipino question and everybody would ask you this, you know, when you come here, probably beat them to the punch.
10:47Are you dating anyone?
10:49Am I dating anybody?
10:50Well, I don't talk about my dating life.
10:52I've always kept that on the private side.
10:56But as I've mentioned, like I've been able to experience getting to know guys and to date guys.
11:03And it's been really beautiful.
11:04So, but maybe there'll be a day someday in the future where I'll feel confident enough about the relationship I find myself in and to care more.
11:14But for now, I do, I guess I keep that private.
11:17That is right.
11:18I respect that.
11:20But good enough.
11:22Okay, you, but I wish you love, I wish you love, you know, I've been married five years.
11:29Oh, congratulations.
11:31I wish you love.
11:32That's all I can say.
11:33But you know, okay, you have a really very intriguing song for me.
11:38Like, the title of the song is Rather Be Lonely.
11:42And, you know, a lot of people would say, I would rather not be lonely.
11:47But, you know, here comes David saying, you know, I'd rather be lonely.
11:51Tell me something about this song.
11:53Yeah, it's, I think a lot of times you have wounds from your past that still hurt you.
12:01And you feel like you need to protect yourself from other people and from, from love, from relationships, it can feel scary because of like, what if I get hurt again?
12:11And so in that sense, it's like, sometimes these bad ways of thinking, even if you're with someone who's very caring and loving and supportive, you still have work on yourself that it's like, you know, I don't think I'm ready to receive this.
12:24And I found myself in that situation where it's like, even though this is a beautiful person, and they're, they want to support me and love me and be there for me.
12:33I'm not ready to receive that.
12:35It brings too much, triggers too much in me.
12:38I don't know what that is.
12:39And I need to have some more work to understand why I get triggered from intimacy and being close to someone and and building a relationship with them.
12:49And I don't, you know, the song says, you know, I don't know why I keep doing this.
12:54But like, I feel like I need to end this because intimacy is scary.
12:59Now, why is it scary?
13:00I don't know. So let me go to therapy.
13:02Let me go talk to my family.
13:03Let me go talk to friends to understand why I feel this way, because I don't think I'm supposed to.
13:08But at the same time, like I, I feel like for now, it's I'd rather be lonely because relationship just brings so much anxiety to me.
13:18You know, briefly to the question, is that your real state of mind or you just wrote it because, you know, out of, you know, releasing past hurtful experiences?
13:30I would say it's from a combination.
13:32I wrote the song last year and I released it this year.
13:38So everything I write, I feel for the most, everything I've released over the last 10 years has come from real experiences.
13:47I think the next, well, yeah, the next songs that I'll be writing are more, I'm playing around more like I'm having more fun.
13:56And it's like maybe it's based off of a true story, but not all of it's true, just to to play around more as like a creator and an artist and a performer.
14:05But, yeah, there's there's always a truth to my songs, even if it's 50 percent or 100 percent.
14:15We'll see.
14:16Rather be lonely is, I would say, is 100 percent, though.
14:19Wow. That is a that is a sad song, you know, but, you know, a lot of Filipinos gravitate towards.
14:25I'm in a better place now.
14:27Let's talk about your American Idol journey.
14:29And we all know that you did not come out as the big winner, but over the years, you have proven that you actually are a winner.
14:38How has it affected you?
14:40I think it gave me the confidence that I needed.
14:43I was not a very confident person.
14:45And seriously, I had to go through I had to go through all of that to realize, oh, maybe I can do this.
14:54And maybe maybe I the work I put into what I do can bring make me feel good and fulfilled and make other people feel good.
15:04So it helped me realize that if I keep working hard, even when I feel like I want to give up, if I keep going, I can seek.
15:13Amazing things happen because a lot of times on that show, I wanted to give up.
15:17I wanted to give up every week.
15:18There was one week where I was like, I want to run away and hide because this is way too much.
15:23This is way more than I thought.
15:25I this is more than I can handle.
15:27This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
15:29I didn't realize a singing competition.
15:31I thought you just come and sing a song.
15:33It was so much more than that.
15:34And I was just like, I can't handle this.
15:36But I kept pushing myself.
15:39I had support from my family, from my friends and from the other contestants.
15:44And I was like, you know what, I may want to give up, but let's see if I can last one more week and I get the last one more week up until the very end.
15:52So I just applied that even after the show.
15:55It's like, I don't think I can do this, but let me see if I can just do one more show or one more song release, one more album.
16:01And I just kept going since then.
16:03And now I'm just like, I want to keep going.
16:05I want to keep giving my best.
16:07I feel like my best is yet to come.
16:10I feel like I'm just getting into my groove, even though I'm like 16 years into my career, I'm just getting into my groove.
16:16So I'm like, OK, let's just keep working.
16:18I'm applying the work ethic I've learned over the last 16 years.
16:23And recently you had a guesting with American Idol and it was very emotional for you.
16:29How was that for you?
16:31Because, you know, it was oh, when we were watching it, it was like very emotional for the audience, too.
16:38Oh, yeah.
16:40It was my first time going back on American Idol performing as an out queer person.
16:46As yourself.
16:48As myself.
16:49Yeah, it was scary.
16:51I was just like, I know this audience is more conservative and I know a lot of people watch the show do not understand LGBTQ plus people.
17:02And they think it's like they have all these ideas.
17:05So I was very scared to appear as myself.
17:09But at the same time, I was like, you know what?
17:11But this is this has always been me.
17:13So I'd rather them get to know the real me rather than still love this idea of what they think David is, because I thought that's what I was supposed to be for everybody.
17:26And it felt amazing.
17:27It just felt like, like freedom.
17:37Bravo, bravo, bravo.
17:40You know, David, I think that's that's the only time I have.
17:43But OK, you know, traditionally on the podcast, I normally turn the tables around and have my guest ask one question.
17:53Don't make it hard.
17:55Any question at all that I'll try to answer.
18:00Well, give me the short version of how you and your husband met.
18:03Like what where did you realize he was the one?
18:05When did you realize he was the one?
18:07Well, we started out as friends and, you know, there was a time that, you know, we were definitely in the friend zone and it's a long distance relationship.
18:16That's why I don't like it because he's in Abu Dhabi and he moved back to the Philippines for me.
18:24And that's kind of like, you know, there must be something in there.
18:28So I tried it.
18:30We tried the relationship and we're together 10 years now.
18:36We've been married five years and we've been together 10 years.
18:40And a lot of things have happened.
18:42A lot of things have changed.
18:43But one thing is for sure, we're still friends until this very day.
18:49We fight as friends.
18:50You know, we we have friends time and we're always alone together.
18:59You know, it's like we feel like we're alone, but we're together.
19:03You know, we shut ourselves out from the world and we have that small bubble on that only friends can understand.
19:10Oh, that's wonderful.
19:11And I wish that for you, too.
19:12Thanks for sharing that, Nielsen.
19:15I wish that for you, too.
19:16And he's a big fan.
19:18You know, I was telling him yesterday, I'm going to interview David Archuleta.
19:22Oh, my God.
19:22He goes like, oh, my God.
19:23Like, seriously?
19:25Oh, that's cute.
19:27Well, please tell him hello for me.
19:29I look forward to meeting him and trying his food.
19:31Oh, yeah, we will.
19:32Definitely.
19:33We will.
19:33Definitely.
19:34And I look forward to seeing you again, David.
19:37Thank you very much.
19:37Maraming salamat.
19:38Maraming salamat sa'yo.
19:40Take care.
19:41Good to talk to you now, son.