Category
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FunTranscript
00:00:30The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
00:00:57Go round and round all through the town.
00:01:04The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
00:01:25The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town.
00:01:34Hi!
00:01:42I'm Carrie. I like your song.
00:01:45And I will be going now. Should we have a corn maze to get back to or something?
00:02:00Yeah.
00:02:11Jesus Christ, Gabby! You just scared the living shit out of me. What's wrong with you?
00:02:16Hey! Don't use the good Lord's name in vain, bitch. What's wrong with you?
00:02:22I hate you so much.
00:02:23I hate you more, Mama.
00:02:25Hold up. Wait. You're here.
00:02:27Wait. I thought you couldn't make it because of training. Oh, my God. And your hair looks so cute.
00:02:31What? And your skin. Oh, my God. You are literally glowing. Wait.
00:02:34Are you following me, vlogger?
00:02:35No, I don't do that shit.
00:02:36My back literally looks like a porcupine's.
00:02:38Okay. Just me, a vodka, Red Bull. Calm the fuck down and land your plane, babe. Okay?
00:02:44I will do no such thing. When I see someone that I love, I'm gonna shout it for the world to hear!
00:02:52I love Gabby Martinez!
00:02:55Fucking nuts, bro.
00:02:56Wait. Okay. No, no. Seriously, though.
00:02:58What?
00:02:59Why aren't you at school?
00:03:00Well, I tore my anterior cruciate ligament.
00:03:02Um, what?
00:03:04My knee.
00:03:05Oh, your knee. Wait, shit. Gabby. I'm sorry.
00:03:08Girl, I'm fine. I'll live.
00:03:10Team doctors put me on the rice diet.
00:03:12Yeah?
00:03:13Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation.
00:03:15So I've wrapped my knee and I'll be resting, icing, and elevating.
00:03:18Whatever it is. We're drinking this weekend.
00:03:21Oh.
00:03:22I see.
00:03:23You see me.
00:03:24You got the rice diet.
00:03:25I got the rice diet.
00:03:26You got the rice diet.
00:03:27I got the rice diet.
00:03:28Rice diet.
00:03:29I got the rice pan.
00:03:30I got the rice shit.
00:03:31Okay, guys.
00:03:32Stop, because I have both rice pans.
00:03:33Okay, okay, okay.
00:03:35Holy shit, Olivia.
00:03:37Oh, shit.
00:03:39Oh, shit.
00:03:40Hey, what did you pack?
00:03:42Well, the E-vite said to prepare for a weekend of fun and adventure.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:47So I brought a couple extra thongs.
00:03:48And, um...
00:03:50Oh, my God.
00:03:51What?
00:03:52Gabby, don't.
00:03:53What?
00:03:54Stop!
00:03:55When I love something, I shout it for the world!
00:03:57Yes!
00:03:59I've directed this scene so many times in my head, I deserve an Academy Award.
00:04:03Chris!
00:04:04Oh, my God.
00:04:05I can't believe you're here.
00:04:06I can't believe I'm anywhere while the sun is still out.
00:04:08Yeah.
00:04:12Sheesh.
00:04:13Gabalicious.
00:04:16Damn.
00:04:18Okay.
00:04:19Oh.
00:04:21Sheesh!
00:04:23Gabby, you're looking fit.
00:04:26Christopher, you're looking 50 shades of stone.
00:04:2951.
00:04:30I'm like the Viagra train.
00:04:31You should hop on board.
00:04:32Been there, rode that.
00:04:34Discovered I was riding on the wrong tracks,
00:04:36but I will always be grateful for my life-changing lesson from you.
00:04:41Respect.
00:04:44How's the 400 treating you?
00:04:4551 flat.
00:04:46How's 420 treating you?
00:04:4814 grams flat.
00:04:51So, what gives?
00:04:52Princess ever coming down from her Hindu Kush mountain?
00:04:54We haven't seen her yet.
00:04:55Yeah.
00:04:56Interesting.
00:04:58Hmm.
00:04:59Hey, since she did invite us,
00:05:01it would be super rude not to partake in these delicious sweetie treaties.
00:05:05First off all.
00:05:06Yeah.
00:05:07Let them eat cake!
00:05:11Oh, my God.
00:05:12Wait, look at you, my lady.
00:05:14The perfect princess as always.
00:05:16Thank you, thank you.
00:05:17Oh, my God.
00:05:18I'm so excited you guys are here.
00:05:20Right?
00:05:21Listen, I broke my own leg just to make sure that I wouldn't miss it.
00:05:23And that is why you have secured a spot in my book of soulmates forever.
00:05:28I broke my own bank account.
00:05:31Big bag.
00:05:34Little jewelry box.
00:05:39Kara, it's perfect.
00:05:43Just like you.
00:05:44Look.
00:05:46Chris.
00:05:47Hi.
00:05:48Hi.
00:05:49Nice of you to say hi to me.
00:05:51Do you have anything to keep Little Miss Princess happy?
00:05:54Mm-hmm.
00:05:58Only if you like Scooby Snacks!
00:06:01Winner, winner, tofu and kale dinner!
00:06:07Wait, so what's the plan, birthday girl?
00:06:09Only the greatest weekend ever!
00:06:12Oh, my God!
00:06:16Hey!
00:06:18Hi!
00:06:20What's up, yo?
00:06:24Hey.
00:06:26Don't be mad at me.
00:06:28I'm not mad.
00:06:29I just wish that you would have told me.
00:06:31Well, if I told you, you wouldn't have come.
00:06:33Are you serious?
00:06:34You're my best friend.
00:06:35Of course I want to come.
00:06:36I just would have prepared myself for the toxic shit sandwich I'm about to be served.
00:06:40Kari, you're being dramatic.
00:06:42Yes, she is a hot mess.
00:06:44And yes, she is beautiful and rich.
00:06:47And yes, she drives all of us crazy.
00:06:50And yes, she's going to go her entire life without ever lifting a finger and getting everything she wants.
00:06:57And?
00:06:58No ands. Those are just facts.
00:07:00Okay.
00:07:01Yeah, not helping.
00:07:03Look, she's my friend.
00:07:04She's not the monster that you think she is.
00:07:07And if you love me, you'll give her a chance.
00:07:12Please.
00:07:15You're lucky it's your birthday.
00:07:16That's right. I'm the birthday bitch.
00:07:19I love you.
00:07:22Oh.
00:07:23Hi.
00:07:24Hey, Kari.
00:07:25Hey.
00:07:27You look great.
00:07:29Thanks.
00:07:31So do you.
00:07:33Thanks.
00:07:39Well, this is fun!
00:07:40All my best friends in the same place.
00:07:42Best birthday present ever!
00:07:44Speaking of birthdays, is this it?
00:07:47All of us getting drunk and fat on our old stomping grounds, which I'm so down for.
00:07:52Oh, well, I am so glad you asked.
00:07:56Ladies and gentlemen.
00:08:01In order to celebrate the birth of this magnificent, beautiful earth creature standing before you.
00:08:10Bow, bitches. Down.
00:08:12Right.
00:08:13Thank you.
00:08:15From a very generous donation from the My Daddy Corp, I have planned a weekend filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
00:08:24What?
00:08:26We have passes to the hottest ticket around town.
00:08:31The Blue Light Music Festival!
00:08:34I love you all!
00:08:36Not to rain on your downpour.
00:08:38That phrase makes no fucking sense.
00:08:39Blue Light is like a bajillion miles away.
00:08:41Maybe more.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44It's a ten hour drive from here.
00:08:45And if we leave now, we'll get there just after midnight.
00:08:50Guys, 48 hours of non-stop partying, multiple stages.
00:08:54It's gonna be so lit!
00:08:56I don't care.
00:08:57I don't care.
00:08:58I don't care.
00:08:59I don't care.
00:09:00I don't care.
00:09:01I don't care.
00:09:02I don't care.
00:09:03I don't care.
00:09:04I don't care.
00:09:05I don't care.
00:09:06I don't care.
00:09:08Oh my gosh.
00:09:10What?
00:09:12No way!
00:09:13Yeah!
00:09:14Alright you whores, let's go!
00:09:29Let's party!
00:09:31Woo!
00:09:32Oh, yeah!
00:09:33Oh, yeah!
00:09:34Oh, yeah!
00:09:35Oh, yeah!
00:09:36Oh, my God!
00:09:37Oh, my God!
00:09:38OK, get a room.
00:09:39I did.
00:09:40I drove again.
00:09:41Carrie!
00:09:42Wanted you to let go.
00:09:43Hands and tails become a bow.
00:09:44Walking on a little road.
00:09:45Uh-oh.
00:09:46Round the world in 80 days.
00:09:47Where the wind blows far away.
00:09:48Never thought we'd make it stay.
00:09:49Oh.
00:09:50Oh, uh, shit.
00:09:51Oh, shit.
00:09:52Oh, shit.
00:09:53Oh, shit.
00:09:54Oh, shit.
00:09:55Oh, shit.
00:09:56Oh, shit.
00:09:57Oh, shit.
00:09:58Oh, shit.
00:09:59Oh, shit.
00:10:00Oh, shit.
00:10:01Shit.
00:10:02Shit.
00:10:03Shit.
00:10:04Aw.
00:10:05Shit.
00:10:06Sorry.
00:10:07My bad.
00:10:08Everyone, this is my roommate Jason.
00:10:09Jason?
00:10:10This is my everyone.
00:10:11Hi, Jason!
00:10:12Hey.
00:10:13What's up?
00:10:14He doesn't talk much, because he's an ex-marine, so he's mostly just calculating badass ways
00:10:16he can kill you like the way ex-marines do.
00:10:19Right.
00:10:20Well, no one's an ex-marine.
00:10:22You're a marine for life.
00:10:23But yeah, I'm a marine who also is a college student.
00:10:27Huh.
00:10:28Uh-huh.
00:10:29Huh.
00:10:33Hey.
00:10:35I'm Carrie.
00:10:38Thank you for your service.
00:10:41What?
00:10:43Isn't that what you're supposed to say
00:10:44to someone who is in the military?
00:10:47Yeah, if you mean it.
00:10:49Okay, beautiful people!
00:10:52All right, since I am treating you like royals
00:10:54this weekend with the best weekend ever,
00:10:57I am not lifting a fucking finger,
00:11:00so I need all of you to grab this deliciousness
00:11:03on the table and load it into the RV.
00:11:05It's called the beast.
00:11:07Yes, it is, baby.
00:11:09All right, now let's go.
00:11:10I want this weekend to be perfect!
00:11:13I didn't mean to offend you with what I said.
00:11:15You're cool.
00:11:16Hey, Jason, would you be a doll
00:11:18and help me with my luggage?
00:11:19My dad was in the Navy and he said
00:11:21to always find a military man in or out of uniform
00:11:24whenever help was needed.
00:11:25Sure, either way.
00:11:27Great.
00:11:28This way.
00:11:32There you go.
00:11:33Oh, God.
00:11:35Of course.
00:11:42Yo, where'd you steal this from?
00:11:45Didn't steal it.
00:11:46Borrowed.
00:11:47My Uncle Grant.
00:11:49Oh.
00:11:49I don't even know how to drive this thing.
00:11:52Made it here alive, so.
00:11:53As long as we don't have to make
00:11:54any left or right turns, we'll be fine.
00:11:57Babe, that's not funny.
00:11:59I'm kidding.
00:12:01No chance in hell we'll be fine,
00:12:02so now let's have a blast in the process
00:12:04and let the adventure begin.
00:12:05Yay!
00:12:06I love you all!
00:12:07Happy birthday to me!
00:12:09Yay!
00:12:11Next stop, Blue Lake!
00:12:13Blue Lake!
00:12:14Blue Lake!
00:12:15Blue Lake!
00:12:16Blue Lake!
00:12:16Blue Lake!
00:12:17Blue Lake!
00:12:18Blue Lake!
00:12:19Blue Lake!
00:12:20Blue Lake!
00:12:21Blue Lake!
00:12:21Blue Lake!
00:12:22Blue Lake!
00:12:23Blue Lake!
00:12:25That's funny.
00:12:27Call when you get there.
00:12:29Call me when you get there.
00:12:34Call me when you get there.
00:12:39You know traffic is a nightmare still.
00:12:43I'm gonna drive to pick you up and get you home.
00:12:47It's been weeks since we were racing into Wrecking Tree
00:12:52You're getting all the while I've been alone
00:12:56So won't you call me when you get there?
00:13:01Call me when you get there
00:13:05I've been losing my, my mind
00:13:08My sense of space and time
00:13:10This feeling's so impossible
00:13:13Say won't you call me when you get there?
00:13:19Call me when you get there
00:13:23Pick up football
00:13:48Interesting. Nickelback, underappreciated.
00:13:54Oh, ding, ding, ding, ding, we've got a loser.
00:13:59Oh my God.
00:14:00Dude. Wait, wait, wait.
00:14:02You hate the Beatles, but you love Nickelback.
00:14:04Straight up. Photograph is like one of the best songs ever written.
00:14:08No taste.
00:14:09Got me through a breakup.
00:14:10Oh.
00:14:11Next to your heartbeat where I should be.
00:14:15That's Photograph by Ed Sheeran.
00:14:17Ed Sheeran? Really?
00:14:18Uh-huh. Don't mess.
00:14:19Then who the hell is Nickelback?
00:14:23Alright, chug. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
00:14:27Yeah!
00:14:31If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and piss on my last good brain cell.
00:14:36Oh God.
00:14:39Didn't he used to be like the smartest guy in school?
00:14:42Yeah, no one's smarter.
00:14:44Fuckin' right!
00:14:48Hey, you look good.
00:14:52Oh-ho-ho!
00:14:54Uncle Grant's stash box.
00:14:56What?
00:15:03Nope. The fuck no.
00:15:14Pizza!
00:15:16Woo!
00:15:17Alright!
00:15:18Alright, kids.
00:15:19Good time to stretch those legs,
00:15:21get some fresh air,
00:15:22use the bathroom,
00:15:24grab more munchies,
00:15:25post annoying pictures on social media,
00:15:29and enjoy civilization.
00:15:31Who knows when we'll see it again.
00:15:33Alright, let's go!
00:15:34Everybody up! Chop-chop!
00:15:35Everybody up! Chop-chop! Chop-chop!
00:15:39What are you doing?
00:15:42You wanna go unwrap that birthday present?
00:15:45Yeah.
00:15:46I'd love to do that!
00:15:48Woo!
00:15:51Woo!
00:15:58Oh, okay.
00:16:00Bounce a gun.
00:16:02No, no.
00:16:04Rude much?
00:16:07I hope he blows out her birthday candles.
00:16:09Oh, boy, doo-da-doo.
00:16:10Let's hope he finds her candles before they melt.
00:16:14Hey, yo, yo, yo, mama, huh?
00:16:16Happy to pump gas in your ass!
00:16:19Happy to kick your tiny dick!
00:16:22What the fuck did she just say?
00:16:24She said...
00:16:26Blech!
00:16:29Hey, baby.
00:16:30Hey, ladies.
00:16:31You have a great day.
00:16:32Oh, thank you.
00:16:33Now, that's gentlemen.
00:16:34Maybe they sell them inside.
00:16:39$37 is what it takes for me to fill up my little Honda,
00:16:42which, you know, I'm assuming give or take
00:16:44is the same as the Beast, right?
00:16:46Yeah, we could buy your little Honda
00:16:48for what it takes to fill this thing up.
00:16:52And then there's, um, that.
00:16:55Yeah.
00:16:56Uh, shock absorber test.
00:16:58Yeah.
00:16:59Classy.
00:17:00Yeah.
00:17:03I'm headed in to get some stuff.
00:17:05Do you want anything?
00:17:06Um, I'm good.
00:17:08Are you sure?
00:17:09Because I'm going to come back out loaded down
00:17:12with Trimino, Bunions, Teddy Grahams,
00:17:15Red Vines, Nutter Butters, Fritos and Cheetos.
00:17:20Come on.
00:17:22Yeah, that sounds...
00:17:23I'll have some of yours.
00:17:25Okay.
00:17:26Okay.
00:17:33We don't want any trouble.
00:17:34We're just going to get in our car and go.
00:17:36Get in your douche mobile and go.
00:17:38Your pretty lady friend can hop her sweet ass in my love chair.
00:17:41Hey, asshole.
00:17:42That's not necessary.
00:17:43Leave him alone.
00:17:44Oh, look who came back for some more.
00:17:46Don't you guys have a cross to burn
00:17:48or a book to ban somewhere?
00:17:50Oh, today's your lucky day, senorita.
00:17:52Suck my dick ass.
00:17:54Yeah, I normally like to eat a tamale, not fuck one.
00:17:57But in your case,
00:17:59I'm going to make a hard exception.
00:18:01Listen here, you inbred racist canto de mierda.
00:18:04The only thing you're going to be fucking tonight
00:18:06is that dumbass buddy of yours.
00:18:13So much for being a gentleman.
00:18:15Party's just getting started.
00:18:17Fuck off.
00:18:20Get the hell off of me.
00:18:22Oh, horny little slut needs a real man.
00:18:26Hey, let go of my girlfriend before I...
00:18:29No shit, hey.
00:18:31Jason!
00:18:34Let go!
00:18:36Get it!
00:18:38Get it!
00:18:41Oh, my God.
00:18:45What the fuck?
00:18:46Guys, come on.
00:18:47What the fuck?
00:18:59That was total Hulk smash things next level badassery.
00:19:03I would love to shadow you.
00:19:04Be your intern.
00:19:05The hell's going on, man?
00:19:07Pure insanity.
00:19:08There were these racist assholes screwing with us.
00:19:10Jason just stepped in and went bam, like...
00:19:12Beat the shit out of him.
00:19:13Yeah.
00:19:14Well, technically we both did.
00:19:15No, Amor, you were so brave out there.
00:19:17Oh, my gosh, props to Jason and his mad skills.
00:19:19They're lucky he didn't kill them.
00:19:20Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:19:22Okay, no one's going to die on my birthday, okay?
00:19:24That would be a huge bummer.
00:19:26Agreed?
00:19:27Agreed.
00:19:28No one dies, I promise.
00:19:30Jason!
00:19:32Looks like I should have killed him after all.
00:19:36They're getting closer.
00:19:37I'm sure they're not.
00:19:38It's hard enough for today's activities.
00:19:42We've got to go faster, Jason.
00:19:43I'm driving a fucking house.
00:19:44I'm going as fast as I can.
00:19:55Everybody hold on to something.
00:20:02Come on!
00:20:04Come on!
00:20:06Come on!
00:20:30That was some crazy straight-up white people bullshit.
00:20:33Oh, my God.
00:20:34Oh, my God.
00:20:37Hey, nice driving, dude.
00:20:38Yeah, saving our lives.
00:20:40Boss moved to becoming lifelong besties.
00:20:47Thank you for your service.
00:20:56Oh, shit, shit, no, no.
00:20:58Fuck, fuck.
00:21:00Shit, shit.
00:21:01No, no.
00:21:02Fuck, fuck, shit.
00:21:04No, no, no, no.
00:21:07Fuck me!
00:21:09Bumper's jacked.
00:21:10Uncle's gonna make my face jacked.
00:21:12Not to be Captain Obvious, but this whole thing's a piece of shit.
00:21:15Hey, shut it.
00:21:18Hey, baby, it's okay.
00:21:19It's not your fault, right?
00:21:20Malditos fucking cabrones.
00:21:22Yeah, I'm calling the cops.
00:21:23What?
00:21:24What?
00:21:25Wait, who are you calling?
00:21:27The cops.
00:21:29We have to report this.
00:21:30These guys just tried to kill us.
00:21:32No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:21:33We'd have to wait here for them to arrive.
00:21:35I'm sorry, I might be mistaken,
00:21:36but I'm pretty sure we have more drugs on board than a Colombian cartel.
00:21:39Mostly just inside a mall.
00:21:40Besides, do you want to miss Jason getting arrested
00:21:42for kicking the living shit out of both of them?
00:21:44Of course not, but...
00:21:45Highway Patrol, what is your location in emergency?
00:21:48Look, Carrie, what happened sucked.
00:21:50It did.
00:21:52But it's over, right?
00:21:54So can we please just go to the festival like we planned?
00:21:57Please?
00:21:58Hello?
00:21:59Do you need assistance?
00:22:00Care?
00:22:02It's my birthday.
00:22:04I just want to have fun.
00:22:05Hello?
00:22:06Please?
00:22:08Okay.
00:22:10Thank you.
00:22:11Okay.
00:22:12I love you.
00:22:13Yeah, I love you too.
00:22:14Okay, bad things happen to good people,
00:22:17blah, blah, blah, but we shouldn't let it ruin our weekend.
00:22:21Michael, I'll give you my credit card
00:22:23and you can have the beast fixed before your uncle sees anything.
00:22:26Good as new.
00:22:27Seriously?
00:22:28Seriously.
00:22:30That would be amazing.
00:22:32We're family.
00:22:33We're in this together.
00:22:34It was nice meeting you.
00:22:35Thanks.
00:22:36Okay.
00:22:37We have been standing on the side of a dirty, muddy road
00:22:40for too long.
00:22:43Let's get our asses to Blue Line!
00:22:45Okay, baby, baby, sure.
00:22:47What?
00:22:48Sure.
00:22:49But first, we need to figure out the whole
00:22:50get our asses there part.
00:22:52Easy peasy.
00:22:53We just go back to the truck stop, start over.
00:22:55Problem solved.
00:22:56Let's go.
00:22:57We shouldn't waste time backtracking.
00:22:58Yeah, no, look, he's right.
00:23:00We're already behind on schedule,
00:23:02so we need to find the best route forward from right here.
00:23:04Oh, yeah, I think I got something, guys.
00:23:06Gabby!
00:23:07All right, it's kind of sketched,
00:23:09but it looks like this route will get us to Blue Light
00:23:11two hours later than planned.
00:23:12That's fine.
00:23:13So, everybody, back to the beast!
00:23:15Yes, okay!
00:23:16Blue Light, Blue Light, Blue Light!
00:23:17Let's go, let's go!
00:23:18Party, party, party!
00:23:20Blue Light!
00:23:21Blue Light!
00:23:22Blue Light!
00:23:23Blue Light!
00:23:24We're going to Blue Light!
00:23:25Blue Light!
00:23:26Blue Light!
00:23:27We're going to Blue Light!
00:23:28Blue Light!
00:23:29Blue Light!
00:23:30We're going to Blue Light!
00:23:31Blue Light!
00:23:32Blue Light!
00:23:33We're going to Blue Light!
00:23:34Blue Light!
00:23:35Blue Light!
00:23:36Blue Light!
00:23:37Blue Light!
00:23:38Blue Light!
00:23:39Blue Light!
00:23:40Blue Light!
00:23:41Blue Light!
00:23:42Blue Light!
00:23:43Blue Light!
00:23:44Blue Light!
00:23:45Blue Light!
00:23:46Blue Light!
00:23:47Blue Light!
00:23:48Blue Light!
00:23:49Blue Light!
00:23:52We're going to Blue Light!
00:23:53Blue Light!
00:23:54Blue Light!
00:23:55Blue Light!
00:23:56Blue Light!
00:23:57Blue Light!
00:24:01Hey.
00:24:04Pretty kick-ass driving back there,
00:24:07is that military training?
00:24:10No, I uh, actually used to steal a lot of cars.
00:24:13So, you know, you don't want to get caught,
00:24:14you gotta be a kick-ass driver.
00:24:18Oh, I've never met anyone who's stolen a car before.
00:24:22That's, um, that's cool.
00:24:26You still haven't.
00:24:27I'm, I'm sorry, I'm just talking with you.
00:24:29I, I'm stupid, you know.
00:24:32Okay.
00:24:36When you're stationed in Afghanistan,
00:24:39you realize pretty quickly that the key to staying alive
00:24:44is being a defensive driver.
00:24:48Better the bullets.
00:24:54Shit, I lost the signal again.
00:24:57Anyone got a signal?
00:24:58I got a signal.
00:25:00It says to go straight, no, take a right maybe?
00:25:03Gabby, no maybes.
00:25:05Fuck, I lost the signal, but I'm pretty sure
00:25:07it said take the road on the right.
00:25:11Babe, fuck it, just take the righty-tighty road, okay?
00:25:13Yeah.
00:25:14If you can't trust a future Olympian,
00:25:15who the hell are you gonna trust?
00:25:16Right.
00:25:17Yeah.
00:25:47Alright, got one. 1988, but it's the entire United States, or the basic highway should
00:25:56still be the same.
00:25:57You figure out where we are, and I will blow you myself.
00:25:59Look at my man! Taking one for the team! That's hot, baby!
00:26:07Woo! Just a heads up, you do not want to go in there. Something died inside of me and
00:26:15I fell out. Shit is nasty.
00:26:17Oh Jesus! Are you well? Open all the fucking windows!
00:26:22No, leave it!
00:26:23Oh my God!
00:26:24Oh my God!
00:26:25Grease can't get in your fucking shirt!
00:26:27It's like toxic!
00:26:29Why would someone just leave a nice car like that?
00:26:33Out here in the middle of nowhere?
00:26:35Maybe they ran out of gas.
00:26:37What did they do, just walk?
00:26:39We've been driving for miles, we haven't seen anybody.
00:26:42Okay, maybe they got a ride.
00:26:44I don't know, maybe they stole the car and ditched it.
00:26:47Maybe they got kidnapped, who knows, who cares?
00:26:50God, you think of the stupidest shit for a smart girl sometimes.
00:26:54Sitting here on this rainy day, looking out the window as we drive away.
00:27:01Nothing ever goes my way, when people ask if I'm okay.
00:27:08I don't even know where to begin.
00:27:13To answer your questions feels like I am swimming through cement.
00:27:22Making my way to the surface.
00:27:26Some eyes on my wall, some eyes shut.
00:27:29I feel they coming, pulling me, pulling me, pulling me down.
00:27:36In goes the dynamite.
00:27:38Quick stop to check for directions.
00:27:40Next stop, blue light.
00:27:41Final stop, party!
00:27:45I got this, bro.
00:27:47I'll go in, you've been driving.
00:27:52It's okay, bro.
00:27:54You just lay right there and do nothing.
00:27:57Why did you invite him again?
00:27:58Because he's our friend, Michael.
00:28:00Plus, he brought the best birthday presents.
00:28:04You even know what that does?
00:28:06It's either an upper downer, makes me fly, or invisible.
00:28:11But half the fun is not knowing.
00:28:15Here, I'll get him to bed.
00:28:18I'll go with you, Michael.
00:28:20Cool.
00:28:27Does this ever feel like the longest road trip ever?
00:28:30Way into a hungover driving back post, blue light.
00:28:33Shut up.
00:28:36Can't say that out loud, Michael.
00:28:47I've seen this movie.
00:28:50Hi.
00:28:52Hi.
00:28:54Um, I'm sure that you've heard this before,
00:28:56but we might be kind of, uh, lost.
00:29:01We'd really appreciate your help.
00:29:05Uh, we're headed to the Blue Light Music Festival
00:29:07for my girlfriend's birthday.
00:29:09It's supposed to be pretty cool, a lot of awesome bands.
00:29:12Turn around and go back down the highway.
00:29:15Well, cell service is for shit, so Google Maps is worthless.
00:29:19But if I'm reading this map correctly,
00:29:21it looks like this road cuts directly through here,
00:29:23which would save us a bunch of time for backtracking.
00:29:27Also, uh, we'd love to get a pretty big dinner order to go.
00:29:32We have an RV full of hungry college students.
00:29:34We're closed.
00:29:39Looks pretty open to me.
00:29:43We just need a little bit of help, dude.
00:29:47I said we're closed.
00:29:50I also said for you to turn around and go back down the highway.
00:29:53So help, it's been given, dude.
00:30:00Excuse me?
00:30:02I'm so sorry to interrupt.
00:30:04Would anyone happen to know where the road out front eventually goes?
00:30:09Really?
00:30:11No one here speaks English?
00:30:16Well...
00:30:18Mr. Smith and Wesson do.
00:30:21And they said we're closed.
00:30:26Okay, um, come on, Michael.
00:30:28We're closed.
00:30:30We're closed.
00:30:32We're closed.
00:30:34We're closed.
00:30:36Okay, um, come on, Michael.
00:30:38Thank you, sir, for your help.
00:30:39We're gonna be going.
00:30:54Hey, is everything okay?
00:30:56God damn greatness.
00:31:01Dude, oh my God.
00:31:03Hey.
00:31:04We asked the bartender for directions and he pulled a gun on us
00:31:07and told us to turn around and get back to the highway.
00:31:09What?
00:31:10Yeah, not leaving them a good Yelp review.
00:31:12Fuck him!
00:31:13I should have kicked his country fried ass.
00:31:15Hey, baby, hey.
00:31:17I'm so sorry that happened.
00:31:21That is so fucked up.
00:31:23Let's get out of here, okay?
00:31:26Maps don't lie.
00:31:28People do.
00:31:29Now this map shows the road going directly through
00:31:31and when we had cell service, it showed the exact same.
00:31:34There's nothing left to talk about.
00:31:37Shit.
00:31:59All right, a couple of hours on here and then we should hit the interstate.
00:32:02It's a straight shot from there.
00:32:03King of the road, brother.
00:32:05Guys, you still alive back there?
00:32:07Deadbeat's still in sonar slumber.
00:32:09Knowing him, he'll wake up just as we get to blue light and little shit.
00:32:12Speaking of, was it little?
00:32:17Yeah.
00:32:18I don't have a lot to compare it to.
00:32:20Oh my God, no, it's huge.
00:32:22Like an anaconda.
00:32:24Hey, how the hell do you know that?
00:32:26Oh, please, before we became a thing,
00:32:28I played truth or dare with the whole school to see everybody's face.
00:32:31Oh my God.
00:32:32That's some bullshit.
00:32:33Okay, birthday girl.
00:32:35Fuck, marry, kill.
00:32:37Michael, Jason, or Chris?
00:32:40Oh man, this is a really hard one.
00:32:45I'll probably fuck Chris because of the whole, you know, it being huge thing.
00:32:49Watch it there.
00:32:50And then I'll definitely marry Michael.
00:32:52That's sweet.
00:32:53That's a good answer.
00:32:54Yeah, you better put a ring on it.
00:32:55And then Jason, I'm sorry, I just simply don't know you.
00:32:59So I'm going to have to kill you.
00:33:01Logical.
00:33:02Okay.
00:33:03Carry, carry, carry, carry.
00:33:04I don't want to play anymore.
00:33:06You should be nervous.
00:33:08Fuck, marry, kill.
00:33:11Gabster.
00:33:14Sarah.
00:33:15Okay.
00:33:17And me.
00:33:19Yeah, and you guys got to act them all out.
00:33:21Oh, fuck off.
00:33:22In your dreams, brat boy.
00:33:24Keep your eyes on the road, okay?
00:33:26There's precious cargo for you.
00:33:28Yeah.
00:33:29Well, obviously, right off the bat, I would fuck Gabby.
00:33:33Oh, yeah.
00:33:34Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:33:37Go, go, go.
00:33:38Bitch.
00:33:42Because I'm the only one here who can make ladies achieve a lift off.
00:33:47She's not wrong.
00:33:48The only one.
00:33:49Well, one and one and one and one.
00:33:52As for the rest of you, marry Olivia, kill me.
00:33:56Right?
00:33:59Okay, hold on.
00:34:01A lot of variables to consider between the two of you.
00:34:06Michael.
00:34:07Everyone okay?
00:34:08The brain dead could see through a goddamn hurricane back there.
00:34:10What the fuck, you hit a deer or something?
00:34:11Don't know.
00:34:12I didn't see anything.
00:34:13What do you mean?
00:34:14I didn't see anything.
00:34:15Hey, hey, hey.
00:34:17Everyone, calm down.
00:34:19Chill out.
00:34:20Take a breath, okay?
00:34:22Jesus Christ.
00:34:23Hey, hey, baby, it's really dark out there, okay?
00:34:26No one's blaming you.
00:34:28If we hit something, we have to check it out.
00:34:30It could be injured or it could be a branch.
00:34:32She's right.
00:34:33Besides, if we did hit an animal and it's still alive back there,
00:34:35you do not want to be waltzing back there to check on it.
00:34:37A wounded animal is the most unpredictable.
00:34:39Well, what if it wasn't an animal or a branch?
00:34:42What if it was a person?
00:34:43Who the hell is wandering around here in the middle of the night?
00:34:46We saw that abandoned car back there.
00:34:47Conyo, Carrie, deja la mierda.
00:34:48That abandoned car knows forever ago.
00:34:50Stop talking crazy.
00:34:51I'm not talking crazy, okay?
00:34:53We don't know what we ran over.
00:34:55I think all the options are still on the table.
00:34:57Look, fuck this.
00:34:58I'm not waiting around to find out what we hit or didn't.
00:35:06Come on!
00:35:07Come on!
00:35:08Shit!
00:35:09God damn it!
00:35:10This can't be happening.
00:35:11My uncle's going to freak the fucking shit out,
00:35:13and then my dad's going to triple it.
00:35:14Hey, hey, it's okay.
00:35:17How about you let me talk to them?
00:35:19Your uncle loves me.
00:35:20He will understand it's my birthday.
00:35:22He doesn't know I took his RV.
00:35:25No one does.
00:35:29What?
00:35:31Michael, you specifically told me that you talked?
00:35:33I know what I told you.
00:35:34Baby, I know what I told you.
00:35:35But that doesn't mean it was true.
00:35:37We needed to find a way to get to Blue Light for the weekend.
00:35:39Fuck this.
00:35:40He was out of town, on business.
00:35:41Michael!
00:35:42So I figured, well, he didn't know, but it hurt him.
00:35:45Okay, relax.
00:35:46Shit happens.
00:35:47Every single one of you in here has lied to your family about something big before.
00:35:50That's life.
00:35:51I still have Daddy's black Amex.
00:35:53It won't matter the cost.
00:35:55We'll fix it.
00:35:56The credit card is nice, but it literally doesn't matter
00:35:58if we can't reach anyone to send a tow truck to wherever we are.
00:36:02I don't have a signal.
00:36:04Does anyone have signal?
00:36:05Like, can you check?
00:36:06No.
00:36:07No.
00:36:08No.
00:36:09Great.
00:36:10Okay, so what are we supposed to do?
00:36:13We see what we need to do to get this thing fucking running again.
00:36:15Okay.
00:36:16Right?
00:36:17Okay.
00:36:18Who's right?
00:36:19I'll go check it out.
00:36:20Jason.
00:36:21What?
00:36:22Hop in the driver's seat, and I'm good.
00:36:23I'm good.
00:36:24I'll let you know when to gun it.
00:36:30Very cool.
00:36:33Just be careful, please.
00:36:35I survived Hell Week in my fraternity.
00:36:38I sure as hell can survive an empty road at night, baby.
00:36:43Hey, maybe you can check on...
00:36:45What, a hit?
00:36:49Fuck.
00:37:20It's all good out here.
00:37:25Couldn't have been a deer.
00:37:27Or even a person.
00:37:29Not a scratch.
00:37:30No sign of impact.
00:37:35Spread us out.
00:37:50Got to be a branch.
00:37:51There's a goddamn forest out here.
00:37:53You're welcome, non-doubters.
00:37:56Okay.
00:38:20Nothing's underneath.
00:38:21Start her up.
00:38:50What would you do in Afghanistan when you had vehicle trouble?
00:38:57Pray.
00:39:01Start again.
00:39:07Oh, hell!
00:39:08Oh, yeah!
00:39:09Yes!
00:39:11Woo!
00:39:12Yes!
00:39:13Woo!
00:39:14Oh, my God!
00:39:15Yes!
00:39:16Yes!
00:39:17Yes!
00:39:18Yes!
00:39:19Woo!
00:39:20Yes!
00:39:21Woo!
00:39:22Oh, my God.
00:39:23Oh, it's right through me.
00:39:24I can't even...
00:39:49Shit.
00:40:05Michael.
00:40:08Where is Michael?
00:40:09I don't know.
00:40:10He was coming back any second ago.
00:40:11Michael.
00:40:12Olivia, what the hell are you looking at?
00:40:14Tell us what you saw.
00:40:15He'll be scared.
00:40:16I'm going out there.
00:40:18Clear the couch.
00:40:19Grab that pillow. Put it on your head.
00:40:20Right here.
00:40:21We need elevator feet.
00:40:22Give me that blanket. We have to keep her warm.
00:40:23It's okay.
00:40:24Okay.
00:40:25Okay.
00:40:26Careful.
00:40:27Okay.
00:40:28Okay.
00:40:29Okay.
00:40:30All right.
00:40:31She should be fine.
00:40:32We just need to keep her wrapped up and watch her.
00:40:34Okay.
00:40:35Shh.
00:40:36Did you guys hear that?
00:40:41What?
00:40:42What did you hear?
00:40:43I don't know.
00:40:44I thought it was some kind of scream,
00:40:46like from far away, maybe an animal.
00:40:48I didn't hear anything. Jason, did you...?
00:40:50Shh.
00:40:51Shhh.
00:40:52Shh.
00:40:53Shh.
00:40:54Shh.
00:40:55Shh.
00:40:56Shh.
00:40:57Shh.
00:40:58Shh.
00:40:59Shh.
00:41:00Shh.
00:41:01Shh.
00:41:02Shh.
00:41:03Shh.
00:41:04Shh.
00:41:05Shh.
00:41:06Shh.
00:41:07Shh.
00:41:08Shh.
00:41:09Shh.
00:41:10Shh.
00:41:11Shh.
00:41:12Shh.
00:41:13Shh.
00:41:14Shh.
00:41:15What the hell?
00:41:16Fuck this.
00:41:17I'm going out.
00:41:18No, we don't know what's out there.
00:41:19Michael's out there.
00:41:20We know that.
00:41:21Whoa, where did you get that?
00:41:22Ammo box by my seat.
00:41:23You just reached in and happened to find a gun?
00:41:24No, I planted it there when I was still plotting to murder you all.
00:41:25Jesus Christ, I found it.
00:41:26I was looking for maps.
00:41:27Give me a break.
00:41:28Michael.
00:41:29Any more questions or can I go find our friend?
00:41:30Michael.
00:41:31Michael.
00:41:32Michael.
00:41:33Michael.
00:41:34Michael.
00:41:35Michael.
00:41:36Michael.
00:41:37Michael.
00:41:38Michael.
00:41:39Michael.
00:41:40Michael.
00:41:41Michael.
00:41:42Michael.
00:41:43Michael.
00:41:44Michael.
00:41:45Michael.
00:41:46Michael.
00:41:47Michael.
00:41:48Michael.
00:41:49Michael.
00:41:50Michael.
00:41:51Michael.
00:41:52Michael.
00:41:53Michael.
00:41:54Michael.
00:41:55Michael.
00:41:56Michael.
00:41:57Michael.
00:41:58Michael.
00:41:59Michael.
00:42:00Michael.
00:42:01Michael.
00:42:02Michael.
00:42:03Michael.
00:42:04Michael.
00:42:05Michael.
00:42:06Michael.
00:42:07Michael.
00:42:08Michael.
00:42:09Michael.
00:42:10Michael.
00:42:11Michael.
00:42:12Michael.
00:42:14What's he doing?
00:42:15Scoping it out.
00:42:20Hey, I didn't mean to lose my shit on Olivia.
00:42:23How is she?
00:42:24It's ok.
00:42:25She's resting.
00:42:27Hey, can someone go check on Chris?
00:42:29I'm on it.
00:42:32Chris.
00:42:33Chris, you have to wake up.
00:42:36Chris.
00:42:37Wake up!
00:42:38Wake up, dammit!
00:42:41Jason!
00:42:43Where is he?
00:42:44I don't know.
00:42:45He was standing right there in front of the windshield so I looked back for a second.
00:42:46He wasn't there.
00:42:47Jason!
00:42:48He wasn't there.
00:42:49He wasn't there.
00:42:50Oh!
00:42:51Oh my.
00:42:52Oh my.
00:42:53I'm so sorry.
00:42:54Whoa!
00:43:24I think I see something down there.
00:43:51We officially qualify as a shitshow on wheels.
00:44:19That's not how Olivia imagined her birthday weekend would go.
00:44:45Michael!
00:44:46That you?
00:44:47Michael!
00:44:54That you?
00:45:15Come on, is that you?
00:45:29I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:45:42I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:46:12I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:46:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:47:00I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:47:26I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:47:55I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:48:11I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:48:24I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:48:53I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:49:21I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:49:50I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:50:20I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:50:50I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:51:19I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:51:48I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:52:17I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:52:46I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:53:15I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:53:44I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:54:13I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:54:42I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:55:12I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:55:40I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:56:09I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:56:38I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:57:07I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:57:36I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:58:05I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:58:34I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:59:04I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
00:59:34I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:00:04I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:00:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:01:01I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:01:29I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:01:58I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:02:27I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:02:56I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:03:25I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:03:54I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:04:23I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:04:52I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:05:21I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:05:50I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:06:18I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:06:46I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:07:16I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:07:44I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:08:13I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:08:43I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:09:11I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:09:40I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:10:10I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:10:39I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:11:08I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:11:37I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:12:06I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:12:35I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:13:04I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:13:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:14:03I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:14:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:15:02I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:15:31I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:16:00I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:16:28I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:16:57I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:17:27I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:17:56I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:18:25I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:18:55I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:19:25I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:19:54I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:20:23I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:20:52I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:21:17I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:21:45I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:22:13I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:22:42I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:23:12I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:23:42I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:24:12I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:24:41I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:25:11I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:25:41I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:26:10I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:26:40I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:27:09I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:27:38I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:28:07I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:28:36I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:29:04I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:29:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:30:02I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:30:31I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:31:00I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:31:29I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:31:58I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:32:26I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:32:55I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:33:23I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:33:52I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:34:21I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:34:50I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:35:19I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:35:48I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:36:17I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:36:46I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:37:15I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:37:44I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:38:12I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:38:41I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:39:10I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:39:39I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:40:08I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:40:37I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:41:06I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:41:36I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:42:05I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:42:33I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:43:02I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:43:31I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:44:00I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:44:29I've got a gun, asshole, and I'm not afraid to fucking use it!
01:44:57Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay! Lulay!
01:45:25You bring the devil, you bring the devil, you bring the devil up in me
01:45:50I can't keep it down, no I can't keep it down, no, no
01:45:56I can't keep it down, no, no, no, oh, Peter Tong
01:46:09Murder is not about lust, and it's not about violence
01:46:12It's about possession
01:46:15When you feel that last breath of life coming out, you look into their eyes
01:46:19At that point, it's being God
01:46:21One side of me says, I'd like to talk to them, date them
01:46:24The other side says, I wonder how their head would look like on a stick
01:46:28And then another side of me wonders, what if their hands, what if they were lobsters?
01:46:34Sometimes I feel like I need to go wash my eyes out with
01:46:37Hi, they are gonna sell out fast
01:46:39It's our seventh shipment of the Shelly Stoker Baby Doll
01:46:43Something like, you'll think it's a beautiful, real baby
01:46:48Our customers just love the exclusive dolls
01:46:51Crafted by our award-winning master doll artists
01:46:54Handcrafted with the finest materials
01:46:57Like a Patermante vine
01:46:59With bang extras to earn its place as one of our all-time favorites
01:47:04The living has a measured rise and capable of climbing up clay-heavy soils in record time
01:47:12The large texture step is helpful in crunching
01:47:16Gut your prize as cleanly as possible
01:47:19So you're gonna wanna roll the creature onto its back
01:47:22So the stomach is parallel with the angle of your knife
01:47:26The key is not to cut too deep into the stomach
01:47:29So you don't risk slicing the intestines by accident
01:47:33But you do wanna make sure that the incision is large enough to insert
01:47:38Pray that you wanna live in biblical times
01:47:41Well, praise the Lord you are
01:47:44You have been selected
01:47:47You are now the true chosen people
01:47:49You are the new tribe of Israel
01:47:52You are experiencing the almighty tribulation
01:47:55You can taste the blood
01:47:57Kirsten G, I'm 21 and I'm from sunny San Diego, California
01:48:01I'm currently a kindergarten teacher's assistant
01:48:03And I teach tantric yoga to the elderly and the blind
01:48:06When I'm not downward dog meat, you can find me rollerblading and skateboarding
01:48:10My nana's my hero and she taught me to pursue hardships
01:48:13She was born with a lateral lisp and it never slowed her dreams down to become an actuary
01:48:17I live by the power of...
01:48:19The people on the bus die one by one
01:48:23One by one
01:48:25One by one
01:48:27The people on the bus die one by one
01:48:31All through the town
01:48:43The people on the bus die one by one
01:48:46One by one
01:48:48The people on the bus die one by one
01:48:51All through the town
01:49:14The people on the bus die one by one
01:49:17All through the town
01:49:25The people on the bus die one by one
01:49:28All through the town
01:49:33The people on the bus die one by one
01:49:36All through the town
01:49:43The people on the bus die one by one