Jake Rutigliano
  • 3 months ago
Walla from the game.
Transcript
00:00Well, I had a friend who once went to a muggle doctor.
00:03It's the truth.
00:04She'd fallen over in Piccadilly Circus visiting a relative.
00:07It would be far more enjoyable if the prefect stayed out of the common rooms.
00:11Should get rid of a lot of them.
00:12Madame Scribner doesn't tolerate any nonsense,
00:15so I find the library's the best place for concentration.
00:18As long as she doesn't hear you breathe.
00:19What does it matter whether we even do our homework?
00:22I just want to be a baker on Carnaby Street.
00:25I don't think that even requires magic.
00:27Anyone in the wizarding world could outdo the best a muggle has to offer any day.
00:31Someone was sat by the fire in our common room the other day with steam coming out of their ears.
00:35I don't think it's anything special if your family works at the ministry.
00:39Makes them a boring lot if you ask me.
00:41Yes, but what good is knowledge?
00:43When you really think about it,
00:44I've been sending owls to my mother pleading with her to send my favourite nightshirt.
00:48As long as I get some sleep, I don't mind what anyone gets up to.
00:52The dormitory should be a place where rules don't apply.
00:54There's only one common room that everyone wishes they could get in,
00:57and that's Hufflepuff.
00:59Been that way for a thousand years, or so Garlic says.
01:02Well, one can't argue with that.
01:04Since when should it matter what anyone looks like?
01:07Surely it's about cleverness? Or wealth?
01:09I tried to send a note to someone I like.
01:11If only I hadn't done it in potions.
01:13Do you think I have a big forehead?
01:15You can be honest.
01:16If those bouncing bulbs get big, they can be quite strong.
01:19I'd keep an eye you don't get one that's too mature,
01:22or you'll be having to cast the fire-making spell.
01:24And I'm sure that won't go over well if Garlic tells Black.
01:27If someone wouldn't mind letting me know when the clasp-out fertilizer's coming up,
01:30I'd be very grateful.
01:31That's one I shall definitely feign a bit of dragon pox for.
01:34I wonder what it was like in Hogsmeade before 1714.
01:38I'd imagine things were far less orderly.
01:40I've never had difficulties with bouncing bulbs.
01:42Simple knockback jinx on hands all you need.
01:44Can't somebody let me copy their potions homework?
01:47I'm at least moderately good at charms, and I promise I'll let you copy mine.
01:50Anyone been into Albie Weeks' shop lately?
01:53I'm always looking for an excuse to go to Spintwitch's.
01:56Even if I can't afford a new broom.
01:57I don't know why Sharp's always referring to standard ingredients.
02:01Nothing is standard.
02:02Who's walking around with mistletoe berries?
02:05I'm just saying.
02:06You'd think she was the pioneer of the Wizarding School's potions championship
02:10the way she carries herself.
02:12And she's a first year.
02:14No need to look at me like that.
02:16And I know what you're about to say, so you can hold your tongue.
02:19I do not talk about her all the time.
02:22You haven't seen her about, have you?
02:24Speaking of astronomy, I'm surprised you're not fixated on Venus.
02:27The amount of time you spend talking about to meet the car.
02:29It's so much better when it gets dark earlier.
02:31I'd spend all night in that astronomy tower if they'd let me.
02:34How can you not be absolutely fascinated with the stars?
02:38I should let Char adopt me.
02:39I'd take having a parent who's good with pancakes any day.
02:42And on account of the statue and all, they had to take her to a Dr Malcolm.
02:46She had a bandage all up to her knee.
02:48A third year had put pepper up potion in their butterbeer in Hogsmeade.
02:52I found the whole thing quite marvellous.
02:54Can you imagine?
02:55Was only a scratch, she said.
02:57Can't be very strong, can they, Muggles?
02:58Bravery runs in my family.
03:00I've never even cried.
03:02Even when my brother put a Grindelow in my bed.
03:05Possibly a bit of crying, but no tears.
03:08I'd never have a harsh word to say about Hogwarts.
03:11I, for one, could stay here forever.
03:13Better than where I'm from, yes.
03:15But if we had a round of gobstones in the common room, it'd save us catching cold outside.
03:19You're brave though, aren't you?
03:21I've seen you in Herbology.
03:22You're a conqueror with those mandrakes.
03:24I just wish they'd hurry up and assign the essay on werewolves.
03:28When are we getting to that?
03:29Fear is weakness.
03:30I never feel fear.
03:31I'd be glad if they let us convene at the Three Broomsticks instead.
03:34Sometimes you can find some quite interesting things in the library.
03:37And why is she always holding his hand?
03:39I've seen them.
03:40I'm not entirely in agreement with what you're saying, but I do see your point.
03:44When Howen said draw a Thestral, how was I to know you don't draw it next to a dead body?
03:48I haven't been feeling myself at all.
03:50I'd swear someone put glum bumble treacle in my tea.
03:53Wooly jumpers are a nightmare for getting in the trunk.
03:56And if you put your shoes in there as well, the smell.
03:58You can always tell the first year Hufflepuffs.
04:01Reek of vinegar.
04:02I'm not looking forward at all to learning about the Snogaluff.
04:05There's a reason that thing has thorns.
04:07You certainly sound like you have an opinion on this.
04:09Perhaps you can meet me after Herbology and show me how I'm supposed to do that thing with the soil?
04:14I'm sure Garlic wouldn't mind us going to one of the greenhouses to practice.
04:17Have you ever noticed in potions that the girl who sits in the corner almost always nearly melts her cauldron?
04:23I find it quite disconcerting and sharp doesn't even raise an eyebrow.
04:27Yet I drop one nettle too many and I get the stare of the Basilisk.
04:30My house broom will do me fine for a while, I'm sure.
04:33My parents keep promising me something to make up for the fact that they spoil my sister rotten.
04:38I think we'll just tell them to kick me out with a wind wisp from Spintwitches and we'll call it even.
04:42Personally, I think if the thing you're best at is Herbology, it means you're soft-hearted.
04:46I'm saving up for a new broom. Reckon I'll be going for the U-Weaver or possibly a silver arrow.
04:52Albie Weeks says he'll give me a good price on one too.
04:54Do you find it hard to get the right consistency in a confusing concoction?
04:58I can never get mine to thicken.
05:00I'd swear we'd be more uplifted in potions if it were taught by Dementors.
05:03Do you think if we asked Char, she'd let us go up earlier to the Astronomy Tower?
05:08I bet she would. She lives for it.
05:10It was perfect for stargazing the other night.
05:12Not a cloud in the sky.
05:14I've never seen the heavens so clear. Do you think that's a bad omen?
05:18I was only looking up a reference for garlic, and I found a fascinating book on self-fertilizing shrubs.
05:23You could drop me in the middle of Rookwood's Sunday dinner,
05:25and I'd stare him straight in the eyes and ask for gravy.
05:28Why are you looking at me like that?
05:30Yes, I do think Serona's very nice.
05:32What's of it?
05:33Much more fun than the common room, and no one tells you off if you spill something.
05:37That reminds me. Did Scribner say we could borrow the book overnight?
05:41Or that we'd get detention if we had it out overnight?
05:44I'm still struggling with antidotes.
05:46Startling to me that so many of them use mandrakes.
05:50I'll be sure never to go into that line of work.
05:52It all baffles me.
05:53Take Moonstone. Whoever came up with using Moonstone in a potion?
05:57The people I feel sorry for are the ones who don't receive any owls.
06:01Poor things. Have you seen their little faces at the table?
06:04If anyone needs help with an essay or assignment, I don't mind lending a hand.
06:08I wrote two inches for bins yesterday while I was eating my lunch.
06:10Obviously Hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world.
06:14Everybody knows that.
06:16Of course we're going to be the best at magic.
06:18People are always fussing about in my common room.
06:20Someone was trying to come up with some sort of pepper hex the other day.
06:24My great-aunt was a Hufflepuff.
06:25She says it's the best common room on account of it being so quiet.
06:29Compared to the others, I mean.
06:30My father said he used to hide his schoolwork under his bed.
06:33That poor first year trying to get into the Gryffindor common room.
06:36I swear the fat lady was having them on.
06:38Poor thing had to wait till next day.
06:40I like to keep a bit of Wiganweld potion under my bed.
06:43Not naming names, but someone's bought a few too many tricks from Zonkos.
06:47Try working with a wand that's been passed down from three unruly sisters.
06:51Well, my father naturally assumed I'd be a strong seeker just like him.
06:56I say thank Merlin.
06:57Quidditch was cancelled.
06:59I'm uncomfortable with the size of my legs.
07:02Well, you were asking the other day, so I'm telling you.
07:04I took my copy of 1000 Magical Herbs and Fungi to Herbology
07:08and I left it in the greenhouse by the mandrake seedlings.
07:12Sharp was horrified I didn't have it for his class.
07:15Said I need to get my priorities straight.
07:17Did you get your bits of root from Pippin's or did you pick it yourself?
07:20I'm desperately in need of some.
07:21I'd been collecting Chisperfle fangs the entire term.
07:24Then I thought I'd be clever and simply keep a few Chisperfles.
07:27Any of you know where I can find some leaping toadstools?
07:30Why won't she just let us use Gillyweed?
07:33What's the point of even learning about Herbology
07:36if we can't get ourselves into some trouble with Gillyweed?
07:38If I haven't personally met a mermaid by the end of term,
07:41I can tell you I shan't be happy.
07:44Harry Pippin certainly steered me right with that wound-cleaning potion.
07:47Is Potion Shops better than you'd find in London, I reckon?
07:50I find if I try to look attentive in potions, it seems to keep Sharp off my back.
07:55It works quite well unless he asks me a question
07:58and then it's not really a good plan at all.
08:00Overall, I probably wouldn't recommend it.
08:02I heard some chatting near the girls' lavatory about Boom Slang Skin.
08:06Do you think they're looking to brew a polyjuice potion?
08:09Oh, what if they already brewed one?
08:11And Sharp's actually that Hufflepuff girl with the long arms.
08:14I suppose I'd be curious about a beautification potion.
08:18What? Not for me, Moon Mind.
08:20For a friend of mine. Don't be stupid.
08:22I don't mind saying that I find it hard to comprehend that Black has a wife.
08:27What sort of witch would take that man's hand in marriage?
08:30I suppose on the other hand, it means there's hope for us lot.
08:33You should hear Char talking about divination.
08:36It's a wonder Oneye's ears don't catch alight.
08:39What's to say stars know more than cards, I say?
08:41Those French don't even hold their wands right.
08:44I don't know what they're teaching at Beauxbatons.
08:46How do you look at a rock and say,
08:48oh, I think I'll drink that?
08:50Almost makes you want to send them one just to give them a thrill.
08:54Me, I'm dripping with owls.
08:56Where's the brain? Couldn't stop sneezing for hours.
09:00Do you ever wish you could ride a hippogriff?
09:02I've ridden one, of course.
09:04Several, in fact.
09:06I just wondered if you knew what it was like.
09:08I bet all the answers to everything are in the restricted section.
09:12I think it should be a special treat in year five that you get to go into it.
09:16My older sister came here,
09:18said she carved her initials into the fireplace of our common room,
09:21but I think she made it up.
09:23If we were simply taught antidotes to common poisons,
09:26I truly think that would be enough to get us through life.
09:29I tried to hide a puffskein once in the corner of the common room.
09:33Last week, I performed a knee-reversal hex on a second year.
09:37It was an utter triumph.
09:38Do you think they'd actually bring in a Dementor
09:41for Defence Against the Dark Arts?
09:44What better way to learn, I say.
09:46My uncle knows Kagawa, so I can't imagine I won't get good marks.
09:50And my aunt knows Black's wife, so all in all, I'd say I'm well set.
09:54While I remember, don't forget to give me that book on ancient runes.
09:58Or in case I don't see you,
10:00Every time I'm there, everyone falls asleep.
10:03I don't think that's what a common room is for.
10:06I was always in trouble, I was.
10:08Always something broken in the garden.
10:10Ornaments.
10:11Torn up lawn.
10:12I wish they'd allow us our pets from home.
10:14We have a crop called mange.
10:16I haven't slept well for ages.
10:18I miss my pillow from home.
10:21What?
10:22Nothing wrong with that.
10:23We had a ghoul in our attic.
10:24Groaned all the time.
10:26Quite the nuisance.
10:27Still, we never had spiders.
10:29We have the most annoying of all the prefects, I swear.
10:32I've been meaning to ask you.
10:34You wouldn't have an extra quill I could borrow, would you?
10:36I'll trade you a spoon's worth of flubberworm mucus for a puffer pod.
10:40Where did you get your dragon hide gloves?
10:42I saw you handling that snargluff in herbology.
10:46You know, my gloves went mysteriously missing.
10:49I wouldn't bother yourself about that.
10:51If I were you, I'd be more inclined to acquire myself some bubba tuba pus.
10:55I'm sure garlic could point you in the right direction.
10:58Soon get that complexion and better fettle.
11:00If it's seeds I'm after, I'll always go to the magic neep.
11:03I've upset Madam Green one too many times now.
11:06She won't soon be welcoming me back to dogweed and death cap.
11:09I don't find potions bearable at all.
11:12And if it's double potions, I question whether I wouldn't just rather be a muggle.
11:16I wish they'd let Ronan teach the entire curriculum.
11:19Charms is the only class I can stay awake for.
11:21You haven't commented on my appearance.
11:24My hair.
11:25Can't you tell I've been to Hogsmeade and paid a visit to Calliope Snelling?
11:28Why are we only learning all the boring potions?
11:31When are we learning Felix Felicis?
11:34Knowing Sharp, he'll probably teach it after we've done our exams.
11:38How long was that Moonstone essay supposed to be anyway?
11:40I worked really hard on mine.
11:42Should at least get a C.
11:43She's not the type to carve initials.
11:46Except the Quidditch captains apparently.
11:48Sometimes I'm not fully sure if Ronan's teaching us a spell or having a practice himself.
11:54Don't you find?
11:55It's genuinely questionable as to whether the man's at Hogwarts to steer the next generation
12:01or to become the next Yurik the Oddball.
12:03My cousin gave me a room with a fwooper on it and I want to know what it means.
12:07Could mean I'm destined for greatness.
12:10Likely that's it.
12:11Have someone leave it on the mantle in the common room.
12:14Don't forget.
12:15Would have been fine if the prefect hadn't found it up their nose one morning.
12:18Didn't see the issue myself.
12:20But they found it quite offensive.
12:22I've been tempted to say I lost my wand just to get out of Weasley's assignments.
12:26How's that for transfiguration?
12:28I tried a knee reversal hex on that small Hufflepuff.
12:30I found it rather boring.
12:32Although in all fairness it only partially worked which did look awfully strange.
12:36I shrunk my mother once.
12:37I did?
12:38Don't give me that look.
12:39You weren't there.
12:40I promise you.
12:41More teachers nod at you if you're holding a stack of books.
12:43I swear it's true.
12:45I can't believe she's seen a Thestral.
12:47And why should I be impressed anyway?
12:49Anyone can find a dead person to look at.
12:51She's a little liar.
12:52I say teach me everything going.
12:54In fact if Hecate doesn't hurry up and teach me the Imperius curse
12:58I swear I shall get on that train and go home.
13:00Let's be sure we make some time to study later then.
13:02The common room's a bit rowdy of late so I've taken to using the library.
13:05I know what you mean.
13:06There was a rumour that if you knocked on the barrels in the rhythm of a Christmas carol
13:09you'd get a present.
13:10I'd never risk leaving things in the dormitory without a muggle repelling charm.
13:14What?
13:15It's highly logical.
13:16Someone loaned me a book on the International Confederation of Wizards.
13:20I was looking forward to reading it.
13:21In transfiguration I switched the writing ink with flobberworm mucus.
13:24I thought it'd be funny.
13:26And it was.
13:27To me.
13:27I suppose one could smuggle a pet into the dormitory
13:30if one was willing to use a disillusionment charm.
13:33But is it worth it for a common cat?
13:34All I can say is don't look inside my notebooks.
13:37Last time I saw your dragon hide gloves was at the vegetable patch in the greenhouse.
13:41Perhaps Garlic picked them up.
13:42Frankly I'd rather limit my excursions to hogsmeat these days.
13:45Too much distraction.
13:46Have you finished your herbology essay?
13:48Mine's only about half an inch thick.
13:50And I found a black beetle on it.
13:51The only marks you'll be getting in potions will be from
13:54singeing your hands all the time on your cauldron.
13:56I've been meaning to ask by the way,
13:58are you deliberately doing that with your hair?
14:00I think Garlic puts that venomous tentacular nearest deliberately.
14:03She does.
14:04You see next time.
14:05I should think I'll get outstanding when I do my OWLs.
14:08I can sleep through a potions exam and still pass.
14:11You're not still fretting about your potions essay are you?
14:14Sharp gave me an A and it was barely half an inch.
14:17Invented by the witch whose cabbage patch had a visit from the first ever Quaffle supposedly.
14:21Adam Kagawa's getting a bit of an easy run of things isn't she?
14:24What with Quidditch being cancelled.
14:25Gertie Keddle.
14:26That was her name.
14:27Lived on the edge of a marsh they say.
14:30Takes all sorts.
14:31It's clear Ronan would have preferred a life in the theatre.
14:33Oh professor I turned myself into someone who hasn't done their homework.
14:37I highly recommend it when you want an extra serving of cauldron cake.
14:40There's nothing they can do.
14:42And try to be out when it wears off.
14:43Scribner's got it in for me but at least the place is quiet.
14:46It was a complete lie.
14:47Just a trick being played by Hufflepuffs.
14:50Very disappointing.