Taskmaster-Champion of Champions S02E02
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TVTranscription
00:30...
00:45Applaudissements
00:47...
00:56Hello! Thank you!
00:58I'm Greg Davies and welcome to a special Champion of Champions episode
01:04where the winners of series 6 to 10 come together to determine
01:07who is the person motivated enough to take home the most hollow of prizes.
01:12Who is the most driven to prove that they are the best at competing tasks
01:17that have no real-world application?
01:20Who of our five will delude themselves into thinking that any of this matters
01:26and become our second Taskmaster Champion of Champions?
01:30Applaudissements
01:34Let us meet these incredible titans of the absurd.
01:38It is Ed Gamble!
01:40Applaudissements
01:42Perry Godleman!
01:44Lisa Tava!
01:46Applaudissements
01:48Hugh Sanders!
01:50Richard Herring!
01:52Applaudissements
01:54And finally, the antithesis of a champion,
01:56a man whose mother once told me in a quiet moment
01:59that as a child he was, and I quote,
02:01so irritating, we paid for a barrage of medical tests.
02:05Richard Lennox Hall!
02:08Applaudissements
02:12You in a good mood?
02:13Yeah!
02:14Can I have a promotion?
02:15Er, no.
02:16Still assistant?
02:17Yes.
02:18I'd like to be Deputy Taskmaster.
02:19All right.
02:20Please.
02:21OK.
02:22I've got you some chocolate.
02:23OK, I could give you some crisps.
02:24You want some crisps?
02:25I don't want no crisps.
02:26You could have a little picture of my wife?
02:28No, I will take that.
02:29LAUGHTER
02:32What's the prize category today for this colossal clash,
02:35young fellow, me lad?
02:36Well, the category, after some pretty intense workshopping,
02:39is the thing that makes everyone go,
02:42wow, that really is the greatest thing.
02:45Stinks of running out of ideas.
02:47LAUGHTER
02:49The person who gets or is closest to getting that reaction
02:52will be awarded five almighty points
02:54and edge closer to becoming the ultimate champ.
02:56And they'll also get to take home five wow-worthy things
02:58at the end of the show.
02:59I'm so jealous, I have a small piece of sick in my mouth.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:04Lisa Tarbuck.
03:05Yes, sir?
03:06I'm starting with you.
03:07OK.
03:08What thing have you brought in?
03:09I've brought in the thing that makes everybody else
03:11go wow at my house.
03:12Here it is.
03:13Oh!
03:14Oh!
03:15Lisa Tarbuck and...
03:16Yeah, imagine that.
03:17David Bowie.
03:18Imagine having David Bowie to yourself.
03:20I was wowing at Johnny Vaughn.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:23Well, bottom line is, that is a hell of a sandwich.
03:26It's pretty good.
03:27Yeah, I mean, John, I think, was expecting me
03:29to stick my head right by his, and I just deflected.
03:32Yeah, funny you were more drawn to Bowie, isn't it?
03:35LAUGHTER
03:36Honestly, he's fantastic.
03:38I did do a little wow to myself.
03:40I heard a little wow.
03:41Right, Kerry.
03:42Can you get more of a wow than a picture of David Bowie?
03:44The thing that makes everyone say wow.
03:46Right, I wrote a play.
03:47There we go.
03:48I'm a playwright.
03:50Everyone's got lines, including all of you.
03:53This is the script.
03:54It's called The Greatest Thing.
03:56Here we go.
03:59LAUGHTER
04:00APPLAUSE
04:06Say your line.
04:08Wow.
04:09Wow, that is...
04:11The g-g-g-g-g-g...
04:13Spit it out, Alex.
04:15Great!
04:16Yes!
04:17Is it?
04:18LAUGHTER
04:19Yes!
04:20Yes, it is!
04:21It is great.
04:22The greatest, in fact.
04:24Is it?
04:25LAUGHTER
04:26Yes!
04:27See?
04:28Great says it is, so it is.
04:31Wow, it really is.
04:32Wow.
04:33Is it?
04:34LAUGHTER
04:35What do you think?
04:37Wow!
04:39It is the greatest thing!
04:41Bosh!
04:42LAUGHTER
04:43APPLAUSE
04:44He said it!
04:47APPLAUSE
04:48Very clever.
04:49I mean, the play itself, it was a little bit irritating.
04:52It was irritating.
04:53Lou?
04:54Yes?
04:55What have you brought us?
04:56Well, it's up there.
04:57Here it comes.
04:58It's a heart and a jar.
04:59Yeah, a heart and a jar.
05:00LAUGHTER
05:03Wow.
05:05Looks like we're back on track.
05:08LAUGHTER
05:11Well, a heart and a jar,
05:12because that is a thing that makes people go,
05:14well, one, because of the visuals,
05:16and two, because you can't live without love.
05:18I was supposed to learn some really good facts about the heart, but...
05:21Couldn't be bothered?
05:22Forgot.
05:23LAUGHTER
05:25Last place.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27Ed, what have you brought him?
05:29I think the greatest thing is winning Taskmaster.
05:32That's got to be the greatest thing.
05:33Oh, you smooth bastard.
05:35So I thought I'd bring my trophy in,
05:38but then we've all got one of those,
05:40so I wanted to make my trophy better than everyone else's,
05:43so I sent it to space.
05:45Yes.
05:46What?
05:47I mean, I have got five sweet points.
05:49LAUGHTER
05:50Here is Ed's trophy on its journey.
05:52DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
05:57LAUGHTER
05:59DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
06:10CHOIR SINGING
06:12DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
06:14CHOIR SINGING
06:30DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
06:37EXPLOSION
06:40CHEERING
06:42PRICELESS LAUGHTER
06:43Applaudissements
07:13Applaudissements
07:43Applaudissements
08:13Khalilarr
08:15Khalilarr
08:15Khalilarr
08:16Khalilarr
08:16Khalilarr
08:17Khalilarr
08:30Hallo
08:31Hello
08:31Allo
08:32Carrie
08:33Applause
08:35Applause
08:37Applause
08:40Applaudissements
08:41Applaudissements
08:42Hello Alex.
08:46Hi Lisa.
08:48I remember you from series 6, you were the champion.
08:50I was, yes.
08:52Do you think I've changed?
08:54I don't think you can help but be changed by an experience like this.
08:58It makes you freer.
09:00You look freer.
09:02I'll be honest, you should never have to remove your own cloche.
09:05That's a bad restaurant etiquette.
09:07Amazing that I knew the word cloche but I couldn't say etiquette.
09:10This looks like a boob.
09:12It looks like a golden boob.
09:14OK, shall I lift this breast off the table?
09:19Oh, it's the sort of thing I love and you bloody know it.
09:25Feed yourself a grape.
09:26In the most elaborate way.
09:28Most elaborate self-feeding the grape wins.
09:31You have one hour, your time starts now.
09:33Easy.
09:35You've got an hour and your time starts now.
09:41So, I think elaborate, it's on a string.
09:44It's being pulled by a system of pulleys.
09:47Do you think I can feed it up, if I feed it up through my bottom
09:51and suck it up and in an hour I can get it out of my mouth with that?
09:54That would be elaborate.
09:56I want to swing it at me.
09:58It's quite elaborate, isn't it?
10:00Or Heath Robinson-styling.
10:02Swinging's a lovely idea.
10:04Swinging's always a good idea, isn't it, Alex?
10:11Lydia, have you done something with your hair?
10:15I was thinking of the Jack of Hearts.
10:18Visually, in my mind, that is my beard.
10:21It's a magnificent beard.
10:23But I didn't know she had that beard before she came into the room
10:26and I was confused.
10:28You told me I looked strong.
10:30It's funny how quickly I got used to it.
10:32It's that initial shock and then I think,
10:34yeah, it's a pretty bold look for Tarbuck.
10:37I don't mind it.
10:39Well, we're going to start with the best person from series six.
10:42It's the strong Liza Tarbuck.
10:44I'd like a good clean pace off you, sailor.
10:47Grape's on its way.
10:50Lovely.
10:55Just tell me to stop if you want anything.
10:57Oh, no, I'm just enjoying it all.
11:00It's just so...
11:03..odd.
11:10Hi.
11:16Oh, here it is!
11:23Mmm!
11:25Mmm, mmm, mmm.
11:28Mmm, that was delicious!
11:34APPLAUSE
11:37I'm just going to ask you straight, Liza.
11:39Have you been taking a lot of drugs lately?
11:41I love a visual.
11:43I'm quite disturbed by how much the beard suits you.
11:45It's mesmerising.
11:46It really is.
11:48I barely noticed that you had put a grape on a pulley system
11:51powered by a dickhead.
11:55It's a pretty elaborate start.
11:57Who's next?
11:58Right, well, it's time to see series eight champion now.
12:01It's Lou Sanders raising the bar.
12:07LAUGHTER
12:33APPLAUSE
12:37APPLAUSE
12:42I'm sort of intrigued by the narrative of your piece.
12:46I'm in a bath.
12:48He's dressed as a cherub.
12:50He's a cherub, is he?
12:52I presumed he was a member of the Bee Gees.
12:56It's romantic, it's seductive, it's elaborate.
13:01Well, was the feeding elaborate?
13:03Yeah. Yeah.
13:05What's that?
13:07It's a fucking angel.
13:09Did he feed you it?
13:11Oh, yes, cos he's the other side of the pulley with a...
13:13Oh, were you operating the pulley system?
13:15Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
13:18OK, who's next?
13:20Well, it's time for the winner of BAFTA award-winning series, nine.
13:24Ed Gamble.
13:30It's a classic case of murder by grape.
13:35WHISTLE BLOWS
13:40Good boy. Good boy.
13:53Grape. Grape, grape.
13:58Good boy. What have you found?
14:05No!
14:15Well done. Thank you.
14:17Your dog seems quite arthritic.
14:21He's been in the force for about 25 years.
14:24It's his final case and someone's, unfortunately,
14:27been murdered by a grape.
14:29The only thing from the weapon that Officer Dickhead could find.
14:34It was the stalk of the grape,
14:36but they knew it was done by a natural grape,
14:38so they call on, finally,
14:40Ned, the old rickety police dog,
14:42the only dog on the force who can sniff out grapes.
14:44Yeah. And he comes final job,
14:46but he's been treated badly in the force,
14:48so he takes this opportunity to enjoy a lovely grape on his last day,
14:51thus destroying the case.
14:53And his kidney, they are toxic for dogs. Yes.
14:55That is true, actually.
14:57That's why it's his last case.
15:01Right, time for the first ad break.
15:03While the champs go and get a pep talk from their agents,
15:06you go and watch some rather trained actors
15:08pretending they're working class in adverts.
15:21Hello again.
15:23Welcome back to Taskmaster Champion of Champions.
15:26With me, the assistant of assistants.
15:29Before the break, the former champs
15:31were each trying to feed themselves a grape
15:33in the most elaborate way.
15:35Next up, it's the most recent winner here.
15:37He's one tough little fish.
15:39That's right, it's Richard Herring.
15:41Richard.
16:01Excellent choice, sir.
16:32It's wine, it's elaborate.
16:34It's Vin Elaborate.
16:42I mean, it seems that you've learned from the last series, Richard.
16:45A, you've learned to suck up to me,
16:47and B, you've learned not to do shed stuff.
16:52What was the vineyard called?
16:54Taskmaster. Correct.
16:57Sure, look, you could interpret it as a man standing on a grape.
17:01With quite a detailed close-up of his horrible old foot.
17:04You could interpret it as that.
17:07I think that's the best thing you've ever done in your life.
17:10Who's next?
17:12There is just one more champion left
17:14and it's series seven's Kerry Godleman.
17:31Yes, Kerry.
17:34LAUGHTER
17:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:58So, in the narrative, we're to believe that James Acaster
18:01rolled it off his table and it attached itself to a balloon.
18:04It had a journey, and I don't remember that detail.
18:07Is that his thing he likes?
18:09There isn't a backstory like what you've got with the dog.
18:12I made mine up. OK, yes.
18:14You what?! Yeah.
18:16Right, then! James is my grape gimp,
18:19and when I ring him...
18:23..when I ring him, I go,
18:25and then he transports a grape to me in some way.
18:28So, James Acaster's the grape gimp. Yep.
18:30And the grape came down a bit of guttering and into your mouth.
18:33Lovely.
18:35Right, why don't I go from the five points from the top?
18:38So, we'll start with the climax and then really just fade.
18:40You can go the other way if you want. No, no.
18:42If you want to be a fucking dick about it.
18:44So, who's the winner?
18:46Taking home five points, and I don't think anyone's going to argue with me,
18:49it's Richard Herrick.
18:51I'm going to give four points to Kerry Godleman.
18:53Three points to Lisa Tarbuck. Thanks very much.
18:56I enjoyed all five. I'm awarding these two, two points each.
18:59It's done. There.
19:01Two points each.
19:05Scoreboard, please.
19:07Well, the two men are out in the front at the moment.
19:09Ed's on seven, but Richard's in the lead with nine points.
19:16What happened? What did they do next?
19:18Well, they went to the seaside and they made lots of holes.
19:26SIREN
19:56Well, Lisa, you look well, thanks.
19:58Cut holes in and create a scene on this board...
20:01So that when you and Alex stick parts of your body through the holes...
20:06The holes, it...
20:08The...
20:10The holes, it looks wonderful.
20:13When you and Alex stick parts of your body through the holes,
20:17it looks wonderful.
20:19Most wonderful scene wins.
20:22You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
20:25Now I have to think with my head.
20:28I'm not going to put your bum in it, so just rule that right out.
20:31We've been down that road.
20:33Well, I've seen this thing on TikTok.
20:35What is TikTok? Er, yeah, exactly.
20:37And I say to myself, what a wonderful world.
20:41What's in that song? Fields Of Green.
20:43This is quite good, though, in this game.
20:45Is it?
20:47Because I'm going to get it done quicker.
20:49Have you ever been a turtle before?
20:51Not in this life, no. I've been a human.
20:56Yeah, big hole, big hole.
21:05I've had a blank on what animals look like.
21:09What colour shall I do the bum face?
21:13I want it totally naked
21:15and I'd like your foot in a beautiful high-heeled shoe.
21:18I'm only worried about bum face.
21:20Yeah, me too. You've got three minutes left.
21:22Oh, woo-hoo!
21:26Only when you stand back and look at it,
21:28you realise quite how bad it is.
21:32You look good there. It's really noble.
21:34Trousers are coming down.
21:36Oh, God.
21:38Smile. You're happy. You're a dolphin.
21:40Push it in more. Push it in more?
21:42Push it right in. I want the whole cheek.
21:44Do you mean push it out?
21:46Push the cheek into the hole.
21:49Pfff!
21:55Just keep your mouth shut.
21:59That's your time-out, Richard. Thanks, Kerry.
22:01Have we done every hole? Feels like it.
22:05Careful on those skates. Easy.
22:07Thank you, Lisa. Pleasure, thanks.
22:09Rires
22:11Applaudissements
22:15Oh!
22:17The whole roller-skating thing, I'm intrigued to ask you about that.
22:20A mid-life crisis? Yeah.
22:22On social media, I see you pop up roller-skating from time to time.
22:25You've never liked a video? I haven't.
22:27If I wore them on TV, it's tax-deductible.
22:30So...
22:32That's why I wore them. Who's laughing now? Yeah.
22:35Kerry, you were struggling to get both buttocks
22:37out of the holes of the character Bumface,
22:40that you've repeatedly referred to.
22:42Yeah, I feel a bit ashamed of myself now.
22:44But I said that to Lisa and she said, but he likes it.
22:46Seventh time in the show's history.
22:48That's what I mean, I knew it was your brand to get your arse out.
22:51Really, it is.
22:53We have to wait until after the break to see their cut-outs
22:56and then it won't be long until we find our ultra-champion.
22:59Will Kerry Godliman win another trophy to throw into her garage
23:02with the rest of the stuff she doesn't care about?
23:04Only time will tell.
23:07Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
23:37Rires
24:07Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
24:38It's a beautiful octopus. Yeah.
24:40Squirting ink over the other contestants.
24:43Oh, horrible.
24:45Well, I have the champion of champions trophy over there.
24:48You look like something from The Shining.
24:51Before I saw any more, I thought,
24:53well, nothing's going to be less wonderful
24:55than Alex's arse through a deer's nose.
24:58No, this!
25:00Where's the wonderful bit?
25:02Kerry, come on, mate. Come on, mate.
25:05Please don't, mate.
25:06You might just have scraped above this pile of shit.
25:09Pipe down.
25:12Wonderful's the word we're looking for, right?
25:14We're looking for wonderful. Do you see it in Lou's picture?
25:17OK.
25:22Why is everyone laughing?
25:25I mean, there is some wonder in there, I think.
25:27It's a dolphin, it's a turtle, it's a seahorse.
25:31I love watching seahorses in their natural habitat
25:34licking their big lips.
25:37And then the sunshine.
25:39I do think, for the first time in the ones that have been revealed,
25:42there is an element of wonder in this picture.
25:44What?
25:45There fucking is, Kerry.
25:48There's so much wonder there.
25:49Are you kidding me?
25:51I'm so, so misfit.
25:54Shall we have a look at Ed Gamble's wonderful scene?
25:58Here it is.
26:01Jesus Christ!
26:03He ran out of room, but it says Evil Butcher.
26:05He slightly misjudged the space there.
26:09It's pretty graphic.
26:10I'm a big fan of heavy metal and horror films.
26:13And if I see a good horror film, I see a good heavy metal album cover,
26:16I go, whoa, that is wonderful, actually.
26:18If I go and see a heavy metal band,
26:20they'll come out and they'll play a song and I'll go,
26:22that was a wonderful song!
26:25I mean, what I will say is, it makes sense.
26:31What?
26:33And I don't think it's an act of madness.
26:36What do you mean? This is butchery!
26:39It's blood, it's carnage! Mine's got babies!
26:42All of the characters in your painting are collectively going, kill me!
26:47Lisa, you can save this.
26:49I hope so.
26:50Have a look at this.
26:52Oh, that's really good!
26:55It's the Alpine Darling.
26:57That's off.
26:59Is that Alex's leg? It's gorgeous.
27:01Yeah, gorgeous.
27:02You've got a lovely pillow.
27:04Yeah, my right one is lovely, the other one is withered.
27:07Having said... I know who I'm taking to Pompeii.
27:13I was a bit gutted the trees weren't better, but they're great.
27:16Oh, that's like when someone smashes an exam.
27:19I'm getting A, I'm getting A.
27:21There was someone in every year, wasn't there?
27:23I didn't revise.
27:26Don't waste our breath arguing over this.
27:28I can give you the points now.
27:30How are you scoring it, Rich? I'm 1.
27:32Kerry, 2.
27:34Lisa, 5.
27:36And... 4. I'm obviously 4.
27:394-3.
27:41I promise you, exactly as I... No, no, no!
27:44So, 5 for Lisa Turner! There it is!
27:48Right, what has been saved for last in this historic clash of the titans?
27:53This is a task to test them on everything they've learnt
27:56during their time on Taskmaster.
27:58It's fiendish, it's frustrating and it's canard,
28:01which is duck in French.
28:16Would you like to enter the VIP zone?
28:18Oh, lovely! Oh, this is very nice.
28:21Get this duck into that pond.
28:25What pond? There's a pond in the garden.
28:27Oh, yeah. Oh, my God!
28:33I hadn't even seen that. Look at that!
28:36Oh, wow!
28:38That is off the scale!
28:42He's got a really aggressive face. He looks like Lenin.
28:45Get this duck into that pond.
28:48The duck must be launched from behind this rope
28:50and you must stay behind this rope during its journey.
28:54You may not move the rope or the pond.
28:57Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
29:00How... I mean, I can't just chuck it.
29:06Will you go get that, please?
29:11I just want to crack on with it, that's what I'm thinking.
29:13Well, he's cute, he's fun. Let's see him now.
29:15It's Ed Gamble's attempt.
29:17I think I can build a river.
29:19I think I can sail the duck all the way down.
29:22Some other people might do something similar, so I...
29:25Speed is the...
29:30Sorry!
29:36Right, I'm going to send the duck down just to see what happens, OK?
29:43He's coming.
29:45He stopped.
29:49Oh, shit!
30:01Is he still moving forward, Alex?
30:05Oh, man!
30:07I can't chill out. I want this to work.
30:11We're approaching the half hour, Mark.
30:16You understand I can't give up now.
30:20I mean, I don't know how I'm going to get the water up there now.
30:28Oh! Good luck, Ed.
30:33I mean, technically, I guess I've moved the rope there.
30:36What I'm going to do to make sure that I don't get penalised for it
30:40is I'm going to move it even further back!
30:43We go again!
30:48Come on!
30:50That's going to be an issue as well, isn't it?
30:53It just is the worst day of my life now.
31:00Starting off quite promising, I thought.
31:02That was a long time ago.
31:04The only way I get out of this with any dignity is if I die right now.
31:08Is he there, Alex?
31:10He's in the tunnel.
31:12Where is he?
31:26Get this duck into that pond.
31:28What duck?
31:30Stop the clock.
31:32Clock stopped. Thanks, Ed.
31:38What he said was, put the duck in the pond.
31:40What duck?
31:42He's claiming to have destroyed any evidence of the duck.
31:44Destroyed the duck, buried it in two separate locations
31:46so it can't haunt me.
31:49The problem is, Ed, I know a dog that can find that duck.
31:54The thing that struck me about it is, for the first couple of minutes,
31:57I thought, this is just an engineer at his prime.
32:00Oh, we all did.
32:02It really did start to unravel after that initial feeling of hope.
32:06What? How long was he there?
32:12It was 97 minutes of utterly wasted time.
32:16I've never seen such a well-dressed loser, though.
32:21And afterwards, were you genuinely angry?
32:23I believe that was quite early on in the day, that was before lunch,
32:27so if you needed the dog thing explaining, that's what I did.
32:31OK, well, next up, it's two people that share the same hairdresser,
32:34it's Richard and Lou.
32:36Oh! Oh, Alex, can you go and put that in the pond?
32:39No. I mean, it's impossible, surely.
32:44Does that help?
32:48It's not going to go that far. What's happening now?
32:51Lasso.
32:53What?
32:55What?
32:57What's happening now?
33:11There's a key to this that I'm missing.
33:17Ah, hello.
33:19I found a key.
33:21It's on the man.
33:23Right, I've got this, I've got this.
33:25It's a pulley system. You'd think I'd know that.
33:28I love pulleys.
33:31Yes, OK.
33:35Ah, OK, I've got a rat remote control.
33:38I've got no rat.
33:41I can hear something. I've got a rat.
33:44Let's see if it will stay on.
33:48Go forward, you stupid rat.
33:56The duck was behind the line.
33:58We've got to get him in.
34:00Could be a she.
34:17Yeah!
34:20I've stopped the clock. Congratulations, Lou.
34:23Lovely to work with you.
34:30No!
34:38I've stopped the clock.
34:42Massive and nervous breakdown for both people.
34:44Job done. Went pretty well.
34:46You started tossing the ducks and then you worked out a pulley system.
34:49We know I love a pulley system, you've seen it earlier.
34:52What about the timings?
34:54The timings were impressive.
34:56I mean, Lou completed it in 15 minutes and 45 seconds.
34:59That's good.
35:02That's not even long enough for Ed Gamble to start a breakdown.
35:07Richard managed it in 24 minutes and 20 seconds.
35:10Second place at the moment.
35:12Break time.
35:14The new champion of champions will be crowned right after these adverts.
35:17Hope there's the one with a supermarket
35:19that's going to make us all money by making us scan and pack
35:22the things we've bought from them.
35:24Wake up! The Terminator is here!
35:38Hello! Here we are then.
35:40Welcome back to the final part of Taskmaster Champion of Champions.
35:43Time to wrap up the current task.
35:45Yes, and they're trying to get a little duck back into its pond.
35:48We've got some handy chutes lying around
35:50and put the tap near the starting line.
35:52We also left rope and a radio-controlled rat.
35:54We basically did everything we could to make it achievable.
35:57Finally then, it's LK today.
35:59Lisa and Kerry.
36:07I'm never going to get it in.
36:09Are you able to steer it?
36:11Maybe. I've never sat in it before.
36:13Oh, let's have a little go of you steering it coming down there.
36:16It's really upsetting.
36:18Cover its face.
36:20Don't forget, I live with Greg's face.
36:22It's in my house.
36:24It's in your garage. It's in my garage.
36:26And we attach the duck behind you like a tail.
36:36Yeah, that's an issue, innit?
36:38Massive bobbin!
36:42So I'm going to put it in. In?
36:44Bobbin.
36:46Right.
36:57That was really close!
37:05It's not happening, is it?
37:07Has anyone got a motorbike?
37:09I do have a car.
37:11Just securing the duck.
37:13Wedge it underneath here.
37:15Right, I'm going further left.
37:19Come on!
37:23It didn't go in. I know!
37:25Now it's going to go into the cow...
37:30Right, you ready, Alex?
37:32I'm ready.
37:35Fly, my beauty!
37:42Oh!
37:48We did it!
37:50OK, this is it.
37:52I'm going to manifest it in.
37:55It's in the pond!
37:57Woo-hoo!
38:04Bosh!
38:06LAUGHTER
38:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:10It's in the pond!
38:12It's in the pond!
38:14It's in the pond!
38:16It's in the pond!
38:18It's in the pond!
38:20It's in the pond!
38:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:52LAUGHTER
39:17Oh, the bobbin takes it!
39:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:31Give the man a point.
39:33One point to Ed Gamble.
39:38OK, everybody, will you please make your way to the stage
39:41for the final, final task?
39:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:46It's very exciting, Greg.
39:48There's three people on joint second place
39:51and any one of the five could still win.
39:53Well, you'd better get someone to read the task out, hadn't you?
39:56I'm going to get me to read the task out.
39:58Hello! Oh, hello.
40:00LAUGHTER
40:02Pack either five bricks or five balloons in your bag.
40:07One at a time.
40:09You must then walk across the stage and place your bag
40:14on the circle near the taskmaster,
40:16who will guess whether you were packing bricks or balloons.
40:20If he guesses correctly, you are eliminated.
40:23If you deceive him, you qualify for another round.
40:26Most deceptions wins.
40:28You will have 100 seconds to pack your bag.
40:31There is only one winner of this task.
40:33The last person standing wins five points.
40:36Wow!
40:37Your time starts...
40:39WHISTLE BLOWS
40:41WHISTLE BLOWS
40:42Don't watch us, though.
40:44Oh, OK. Yeah, stop looking at me.
40:46What a task.
40:48Oh, yeah.
40:50I can hear balloons.
40:52Do zip up your case.
40:54You must zip up your case within 100 seconds.
40:57LAUGHTER
41:02Time to get going, bricks!
41:06LAUGHTER
41:08LAUGHTER
41:11It still counts as a balloon, popped or not.
41:1412 seconds, everyone.
41:16We've lost two of the contestants.
41:20Are you ready, Greg?
41:22I am ready, thank you.
41:24I'm going to ask Ed Gamble to step onto the walking circle.
41:27Good luck, Ed.
41:29Balloon!
41:32He's singing balloon, I think.
41:34Brick!
41:36LAUGHTER
41:40LAUGHTER
41:42Balloon or brick!
41:45Oh, that's a clever move.
41:47LAUGHTER
41:49I'm all packed for Pompeii, baby!
41:51LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
41:56I think that Ed Gamble is packing balloons.
42:02So, when I say I'm packed for Pompeii,
42:07I just want to let you know
42:10that I'll be paying for my own ticket.
42:12LAUGHTER
42:14OK, we have lost Ed Gamble.
42:16Sorry, Ed Gamble.
42:17Please make your way round the back to your own spot.
42:19Ed Gamble is completely eliminated.
42:21Kerry, please bring your bag of mystery to the walking circle.
42:25Get those heavy balloons round here.
42:27LAUGHTER
42:30Fucking hell, Kerry!
42:32LAUGHTER
42:35Oh!
42:37LAUGHTER
42:41APPLAUSE
42:48On the circle, please, Kerry.
42:50This is a key moment, I think.
42:55LAUGHTER
43:00Greg, it's time to judge. What's she packing?
43:02Balloons.
43:04Fuck you.
43:06Unbelievable.
43:08I'll take my fucking face off.
43:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
43:14I just knew it would be lecture.
43:16I knew it.
43:19All right, Lisa Turbock, it's your time to step to the walking circle.
43:23Oh!
43:25Oh, it's an interesting old lady.
43:27LAUGHTER
43:29Oh!
43:31What's in there, Gregory?
43:33Hello!
43:35Oh!
43:36What are here?
43:38Yes, please, yes, please.
43:40Oh, up they go.
43:42Get on it!
43:44Woman's got bricks in that bag.
43:46Lisa, please open your bag. Have I?
43:48How are you getting there?
43:53She has bricks.
43:56Wow. Lou is on her way. Here she comes.
43:59The poise, the poise, the speed.
44:01Lovely, lovely.
44:04For the first time, I genuinely don't know.
44:06SCREAM
44:08CHEERING
44:13Balloons.
44:15Guess again.
44:17Balloons.
44:21Yes.
44:24We've lost another contestant.
44:29Are you ready for Richard? Yeah.
44:31It's really...
44:33It's quite weird.
44:35Oh, the mouth. All I'm looking at is his mouth.
44:40Lovely technique.
44:42Lovely technique.
44:44Completely silent.
44:46I'm going to say the man's got bricks in there.
44:48Ed, you shouldn't have given up so quickly, mate, cos...
44:52Oh!
44:57Come down, we'll see how that's affected the final scores.
45:0951 hours of task-filled television
45:12has brought us to this pivotal point in Taskmaster history.
45:15Each competitor is a worthy winner.
45:17Nay, each competitor is a winner.
45:20But only one had the edge tonight when it really mattered.
45:24Alex...
45:26Tell us the final scores.
45:30Well, Ed came last.
45:32CHEERING
45:35I'm quite surprised.
45:37Yes, he got 11 points, but he didn't get the duck in the pond, unfortunately.
45:40Lou and Kerry, joint third, with 12 points.
45:43CHEERING
45:46Lisa Tarbuck, so close, 14 points, a clear second.
45:52But the winner accumulated a huge 17 points.
45:57Richard Herring is the new champion of champions!
46:01Please go and collect your rare worthy prizes
46:04and your Taskmaster trophy!
46:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada