One Night This is the story of three women whose bond was all but destroyed by the traumatic events of one night 20 years ago.This is the story of three women whose ...
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00:00:00You want one?
00:00:11No thanks.
00:00:16Bartender that neither drinks nor smokes.
00:00:18If I were in Vegas, I'd have lost money.
00:00:25You a betting kind of girl?
00:00:28Depends.
00:00:33I guess I'm not your average bear.
00:00:36I sensed that about you.
00:00:39How's that?
00:00:40The way I poured you a Jack and Coke?
00:00:45No.
00:00:46When you referenced Baudelaire.
00:00:53Not only did you pick one of my favorite poets, but one of my favorite poems as well.
00:00:57That's when I knew I was going to fuck you.
00:01:07Guess I'm not your average bear either.
00:01:20I guess I'm not your average bear either.
00:01:47I guess I'm not your average bear either.
00:02:14You from here?
00:02:22Born and raised in beautiful Van Nuys.
00:02:26You from L.A.?
00:02:27No.
00:02:28Chicago.
00:02:29What brings you out here?
00:02:34Let me guess.
00:02:36Chicago.
00:02:37Big theater town.
00:02:40You work at a bar in Los Angeles.
00:02:43No.
00:02:44No?
00:02:45No.
00:02:46No.
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00:03:11No.
00:03:12Is that what you do?
00:03:13I'm Beverly in Detroit.
00:03:14I prefer to do my selling one person at a time.
00:03:17Come in some time and I'll buy you a latte.
00:03:21Is that what you do?
00:03:22I'm Beverly in Detroit.
00:03:24I prefer to do my selling one person at a time.
00:03:29Everyone out there seems to be trying to do something other than what they're actually
00:03:33doing.
00:03:34No.
00:03:35I'm just a girl who works at Starbucks.
00:03:40I didn't mean for it to come off like that.
00:03:43Not at all.
00:03:45What about you?
00:03:47Is it your life's passion to sling drinks at some shithole in Venice?
00:03:51Oh God, yes.
00:03:55Oh, I honed that dream down with my high school counselor.
00:03:59And we spent hours upon hours talking about how to achieve my impossible dream.
00:04:04And now I've done it.
00:04:09Yeah.
00:04:16I'm gonna go out on a limb here,
00:04:18and I'm gonna guess that besides being an awesome seller of coffee,
00:04:22you like to read.
00:04:25How did you know that?
00:04:28You just have some psychic, creepy superpower.
00:04:33When'd you start?
00:04:35My mom used to say that
00:04:39when I was born I asked the doctor for just one more day to read the stranger.
00:04:46She still live out here?
00:04:49No.
00:04:51She passed away a few years ago.
00:04:56I'm sorry.
00:04:58I'm sorry.
00:05:03Life.
00:05:09It's bound to kill you sooner or later.
00:05:28This apartment's great.
00:05:33I love old buildings.
00:05:35Hardwood.
00:05:37Old, yes.
00:05:39Great, no.
00:05:43Where do you live?
00:05:45Hollywood.
00:05:48One of those monstrosities with 40 years of history.
00:05:51You know,
00:05:52Hollywood.
00:05:55One of those monstrosities with 40 units.
00:06:00I keep telling myself I'm gonna move, but I never get around to it.
00:06:04They say it's one of the top three most stressful things in life.
00:06:07What, moving?
00:06:08Yeah.
00:06:12You know what the number one fear is of most people?
00:06:17Clowns.
00:06:19Public speaking.
00:06:23Which is psychotic when you think about it.
00:06:27We're more afraid of looking stupid in front of each other than we are of dying.
00:06:38I guess we all feel like we're frauds and we'll be found out.
00:06:43Frauds?
00:06:45Yeah.
00:06:46Yeah.
00:06:49What I mean is, I guess,
00:06:52we're all afraid
00:06:54and we're walking around trying to convince ourselves and each other that we're not.
00:07:00On some fundamental level, we know this.
00:07:04How are you today?
00:07:06Good, you?
00:07:07Great.
00:07:10And what's really happening is my company's cutting back and I'm terrified I might lose my job.
00:07:17We can't tell each other that, right?
00:07:21We can't be honest, God forbid.
00:07:29I guess we all believe that we're the only ones that feel that way, so we
00:07:33spend our lives pretending that everything's okay.
00:07:38Now you want me to speak in front of a bunch of people
00:07:40Now you want me to speak in front of a bunch of people
00:07:42and the terror that somehow I'll be found out, be exposed, suddenly just slams me in the face.
00:07:47You know, it overwhelms me.
00:07:53People can be cruel.
00:07:55I can understand not wanting to put ourselves at the mercy of a bunch of retards.
00:08:01To expose ourselves just so others can criticize us and tear us down.
00:08:06I do too.
00:08:08But at some point you have to ask yourself, then what's the fucking point?
00:08:14I'm afraid to be who I am.
00:08:16And I can't walk around hiding like everyone else. Where does that leave me?
00:08:27You want a drink?
00:08:31I don't drink.
00:08:35Right.
00:08:38A bartender who neither drinks nor smokes.
00:08:48Water?
00:08:49Sure.
00:09:07Thanks.
00:09:27You're very free with your body.
00:09:30Am I?
00:09:33Yeah.
00:09:37Most women are so self-conscious.
00:09:42What you see is what you get.
00:09:45I like it.
00:10:00Do you do this a lot?
00:10:03What?
00:10:04This.
00:10:07Fuck random girls from the bar?
00:10:20No, not really.
00:10:22No, huh?
00:10:25No.
00:10:29What about you?
00:10:31You typically walk into a bar, seduce a bartender, then bring them back here and fuck them?
00:10:35Yes.
00:10:43What is this?
00:10:44What's what?
00:10:46Where's this coming from? I thought we were having a good time here.
00:10:48We are.
00:10:50I just want to be clear.
00:10:51Clear about what?
00:10:53About what this is.
00:10:58I'm clear.
00:10:59Are you?
00:11:01Yes.
00:11:03Good.
00:11:05Because I don't want any complications.
00:11:09Neither do I.
00:11:12So we're on the same page.
00:11:16Yes.
00:11:22Good.
00:11:32Good.
00:12:02Good.
00:12:32Fuck.
00:13:02Fuck.
00:13:32Fuck.
00:14:02Fuck.
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00:16:39Two crows, interesting.
00:16:46Mythology.
00:16:49The crow is meant to be a guide,
00:16:52God's messenger leading people to good.
00:16:55No, I don't believe in God.
00:16:58So you believe in a god?
00:17:02I think there's a universal intelligence.
00:17:06I mean, there's so much precise and immutable law in the universe,
00:17:10it's hard for me to believe that something hasn't had a hand in its creation.
00:17:14Sixty-five million years ago, a rock from outer space
00:17:18smashed into the rock we currently live on and annihilated most of its species.
00:17:22What is so precise about that?
00:17:26It's all just random. There's no method or conscious choice.
00:17:30People's lives mostly happen to them.
00:17:34There's no guiding force other than the decisions we make,
00:17:38and there are certainly no assurances in that.
00:17:42It's a crapshoot at best.
00:17:46People have horrible shit happen to them all the time in spite of living right.
00:17:50We do everything right, do all the right things,
00:17:54work really hard, and still never get what you want.
00:17:58Where the fuck is God in that?
00:18:02What about just being born? Abuse, poverty, birth defects.
00:18:06Out of the gate, you're screwed.
00:18:10Where's the divine planning in that?
00:18:14Are you saying God does this on purpose?
00:18:18Anyway, you slice that pie, I don't want a piece. Fuck you very much.
00:18:22Okay.
00:18:30Jello.
00:18:38Look, I'm not saying I don't question those things.
00:18:42I do. Pisses me off, too.
00:18:52I got really sick out of nowhere. Couldn't figure out what it was.
00:18:56I was in the hospital, in and out of consciousness for over a week.
00:19:00I was visiting her.
00:19:04She was sleeping, and I'm sitting there looking at her,
00:19:08and I'm telling God to go fuck himself in my head.
00:19:12I mean, I'm literally cursing God out,
00:19:16calling him every name in the book.
00:19:20I mean, I was furious that this was happening to her.
00:19:24And all that resentment,
00:19:28all that rage had finally bottlenecked on me,
00:19:32and I started crying.
00:19:36I mean, sobbing.
00:19:40And I'm trying to be quiet so I won't wake her.
00:19:44You know, my chest burns,
00:19:48and my eyes are slits, and this whole time
00:19:52I'm calling God a motherfucker.
00:19:56I'm muttering it just under my breath over and over,
00:20:00just motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker.
00:20:04I mean, it's almost like a Buddhist chant at this point, just motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker.
00:20:08And I suddenly feel something.
00:20:12You know that feeling you have when someone's staring at you?
00:20:16Times ten.
00:20:20I look down, and she's staring up at me.
00:20:28And she's looking at me in a way
00:20:32I don't think I could articulate.
00:20:36It's her, but it's not her.
00:20:40It's like the purest her.
00:20:46Like if her soul
00:20:50suddenly grew eyes.
00:20:54She says,
00:20:58energy can be neither created nor destroyed, just transferred.
00:21:02This is law.
00:21:06It is infinite intelligence's way of proving we are eternal.
00:21:10And in that moment,
00:21:14I believed it.
00:21:18She was so clear.
00:21:22It was so true in her
00:21:26that it made it undeniable.
00:21:30In that moment,
00:21:34I knew something bigger than me existed.
00:21:38It was real.
00:21:46That's a beautiful idea.
00:21:50But I bet most of the time
00:21:54you don't believe that.
00:21:58I lose touch with it all the time, but
00:22:02isn't that the nature of faith or belief?
00:22:06It doesn't mean that I'm not going to get afraid or lost or confused.
00:22:10It just means at the end of the day, you have that faith to go back to.
00:22:14That knowing that no matter what,
00:22:18no matter how fucked up everything seems to be, things are really okay.
00:22:22Can you honestly
00:22:26tell me that most of the time you know everything is okay?
00:22:36No.
00:22:46Me neither.
00:22:56What happened to her?
00:23:00She died.
00:23:06So you believe in nothing?
00:23:10I believe that if I want something to change,
00:23:14I better get off my ass and do something.
00:23:18At least try.
00:23:22All by yourself?
00:23:26All by my lonesome.
00:23:30It's a delusion to think that we're not alone and on our own.
00:23:34There's a limit to what people are willing to do for you.
00:23:38They've got their own lives to entangle.
00:23:42They can't neglect their own life to help you better yours.
00:23:46It's insane to think that.
00:23:50Do you have any friends?
00:23:54I have friends, yes.
00:23:58If you don't believe people can help each other, why bother?
00:24:02Friends rely on each other.
00:24:06Doesn't sound like you're capable of having friends, not really.
00:24:10Fuck you.
00:24:14Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I should just sit here and keep my mouth shut and agree with everything you have to say.
00:24:18Fuck you.
00:24:22You're a brat, you know that?
00:24:26Am I? Yeah.
00:24:30It's fine if we don't agree on some things. We don't have to be a bitch about it.
00:24:34Get the fuck out of my house.
00:24:44It's fine if we don't agree.
00:24:48I just don't want you to be mean to me.
00:24:52I don't think that's too much for one fucking person to ask from another.
00:24:56How can you live without people needlessly making it fucking harder?
00:25:00I mean, is it impossible for two grown adults to have a meaningful conversation without someone fucking getting hurt?
00:25:04What's so difficult about that?
00:25:08Two people just expressing a little bit of the truth with each other without blood ending up on the fucking walls.
00:25:12Is that too much to fucking ask?
00:25:26I didn't mean to raise my voice. I'm sorry.
00:25:30It's okay.
00:25:34I understand.
00:25:48I actually had a really good time with you.
00:25:52I think you're really interesting and different.
00:25:56I like that.
00:26:08Thank you for having me over.
00:26:22You're welcome.
00:26:38I'm sorry.
00:26:42It's okay.
00:26:52See you at the bar, I guess.
00:26:56Yeah, sure.
00:27:22Bye.
00:27:32Stay.
00:27:38Please.
00:27:52Do you cook?
00:28:04Mmm.
00:28:08Yummy.
00:28:12Yeah. Scrambled eggs, dry toast and tap water.
00:28:16Breakfast of champions.
00:28:20When I think about breakfast, there's something hopeful about it.
00:28:24You know, start of a new day, nothing horrible has occurred yet.
00:28:28Man sits over his eggs and there's a sense of possibility in the air.
00:28:32Maybe today will be the day, you know?
00:28:36The day?
00:28:40Yeah. Maybe today will be the day that X happens.
00:28:44For example.
00:28:48The lottery.
00:28:52Maybe today's the day I get that big promotion I've been pining for.
00:28:56Maybe today's the day I use that app cruncher I bought three months ago.
00:29:00Maybe today's the day. I don't want to claw my eyes out of my head
00:29:04every time someone asks for a vanilla latte.
00:29:08Well, yes. It's not quite as filled with hope, but that's the general idea.
00:29:12Here's to hoping.
00:29:18Actually,
00:29:22breakfast kind of reminds me of my mother.
00:29:26Every morning I would
00:29:30wake up and go into the kitchen
00:29:34and there would be nothing.
00:29:38My mom usually wouldn't be home.
00:29:42Not because she was an early riser and had to get off to work, but
00:29:46because she was sleeping in her boyfriend of the week's place.
00:29:50My mom loved the boys all right.
00:29:54So I would
00:29:58scavenge around and eat whatever we had.
00:30:02One week I ate a can of peas every day.
00:30:06Breakfast of champions.
00:30:10Breakfast of champions.
00:30:16What about you?
00:30:20I bet you woke up to your mom
00:30:24singing in the kitchen while she cooked you pancakes and bacon and
00:30:28squeezed the orange juice herself.
00:30:32Not quite.
00:30:36But close, though. Only it was my dad
00:30:40and he did cook, thank you very much.
00:30:44It was my favorite part of the day.
00:30:48My dad cooking, cracking jokes, being silly.
00:30:52He always seemed so happy in the mornings.
00:30:56Where was your mom?
00:31:00She died when I was six.
00:31:04I'm sorry.
00:31:08How?
00:31:12I'm sorry. I'm just curious.
00:31:16You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
00:31:24My mom was a drunk.
00:31:28Apparently she'd
00:31:32go on these benders for two or three days at a time, just disappear.
00:31:40On one of them she met a man at a bar and they decided to go back to his place.
00:31:48On the way there, my mother
00:31:52she opened the passenger side door and just stepped out.
00:31:58When I was eighteen
00:32:02my father sat me down and told me all about her.
00:32:06He said I had a right to know who she was.
00:32:14The longer he talked about her, the more obvious it became
00:32:18that he still loved her.
00:32:22In spite of everything that happened, he still loved her.
00:32:28Crazy.
00:32:36Love isn't logical.
00:32:40No.
00:32:44No, I guess it isn't.
00:32:48Where's your dad? Is he still in Chicago?
00:32:52No.
00:32:56Lung cancer.
00:33:00Jesus Christ.
00:33:08Life. I'm going to kill you sooner or later.
00:33:26I lied to you before.
00:33:46My mom's still alive.
00:33:50She's still in Van Nuys.
00:33:54But I haven't spoken to her in years.
00:33:58She calls from time to time.
00:34:02Tells me how much she loves me and misses me.
00:34:10Anyway.
00:34:14I just thought you should know.
00:34:54Cheers.
00:35:24I love you.
00:35:54I love you.
00:36:24I love you.
00:36:54I love you.
00:37:24Come to me.
00:37:54Come to me.
00:38:24Come to me.
00:38:54I love you.
00:38:58I love you.
00:39:02I love you.
00:39:06I love you.
00:39:24I love you.
00:39:32I love you.
00:39:36I love you.
00:39:40I love you.
00:39:44I love you.
00:39:48I love you.
00:39:52I love you.
00:39:56I love you.
00:40:00I love you.
00:40:04I love you.
00:40:08I love you.
00:40:12I love you.
00:40:16I love you.
00:40:20I love you.
00:40:38Sorry about that.
00:40:42I have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.
00:40:46I haven't cried in... Jesus.
00:40:50I don't know how long.
00:40:54I'll let talk about the past, I guess.
00:40:58We barely know each other.
00:41:02And here I am sobbing in your arms.
00:41:06You probably think I'm some psycho girl
00:41:10who's completely unstable.
00:41:14Well, I thought that long before you cried.
00:41:18I'm sorry.
00:41:22I'm sorry.
00:41:26Well, I thought that long before you cried.
00:41:34Crying is good.
00:41:36Oh, yeah, Dr. Phil?
00:41:38When's the last time you cried?
00:41:42I don't know.
00:41:44Sure you do. Come on.
00:41:48I don't know, really.
00:41:52Really?
00:41:54I just cried like a fucking six-year-old,
00:41:56and you can't at least tell me the last time you cried?
00:42:02Fine.
00:42:04It was after my wife left me.
00:42:08You're married?
00:42:12No.
00:42:14I was married. Now I'm divorced.
00:42:16How long?
00:42:20How long was I married, or how long have I been divorced?
00:42:22Both.
00:42:24We've been divorced for over two years.
00:42:28Kids?
00:42:30No. No kids.
00:42:32She didn't want them.
00:42:34At least not with me.
00:42:36What happened?
00:42:40Why am I always fucking talking about myself?
00:42:42Why am I always telling you my dirty little secrets?
00:42:44How about you tell me something?
00:42:46Tell me something you never told someone else before.
00:42:48How's that?
00:42:50That's what you take to the grave.
00:42:52I don't have anything like that.
00:42:54Bullshit.
00:42:56Bullshit?
00:42:58Yeah. I'm sure you have at least two of them.
00:43:00Fuck, probably more.
00:43:02What makes you think that?
00:43:04Because at the end of the day, Syd,
00:43:06I get this sneaking suspicion that you and me aren't all that different.
00:43:10I tell you when you tell me about your wife.
00:43:12Ex-wife.
00:43:14Fine. Ex-wife.
00:43:16Deal?
00:43:18Deal.
00:43:20And you better not try and bullshit me. I'll know if you're lying.
00:43:22I'm not a fucking liar.
00:43:24Fine. Go ahead.
00:43:26Fine. Don't rush me.
00:43:28Fine.
00:43:30Fine.
00:43:48Fine.
00:44:02My daddy used to walk me to school every morning.
00:44:06One day, instead of being woken by the sound of his voice,
00:44:08I woke to an empty house.
00:44:12I cried all the way to school.
00:44:14And I sat there,
00:44:16terrified all day something had happened to him.
00:44:24I was too afraid to tell anyone
00:44:26because for some
00:44:28fucked up reason,
00:44:30I got it in my head that
00:44:32they would blame me.
00:44:34That it was somehow my fault.
00:44:40And I ran.
00:44:42I ran home after school.
00:44:44I sprinted.
00:44:48I sat on the couch
00:44:50and I stared at the front door,
00:44:52hoping he would walk through it.
00:44:56Praying he would
00:44:58walk through the door
00:45:00and say, I'm so sorry, beautiful.
00:45:02I'm so sorry
00:45:04I didn't get to walk you to school today.
00:45:06I got called away.
00:45:10I sat there until 12.30 at night
00:45:12when my mom finally stumbled in.
00:45:18She was usually home by 6
00:45:20but apparently she'd gone out
00:45:22drowning her sorrows with the girls from work
00:45:24and looking for my dad's replacement.
00:45:30Obviously I knew none of this at the time.
00:45:36I started crying.
00:45:38Saying,
00:45:40Daddy's missing.
00:45:46And
00:45:48she looked at me
00:45:50and simply said,
00:45:52Daddy's gone.
00:45:54He left.
00:45:56And
00:46:08when I finally asked her
00:46:10if he was ever coming back
00:46:14she just looked at me and
00:46:16shrugged.
00:46:18So I took that as a maybe.
00:46:24And every day
00:46:26the next two years
00:46:28I sat at the window
00:46:30with a pair of old binoculars
00:46:32my father had left behind
00:46:34and I scoured
00:46:36every face that walked by
00:46:38and I looked into
00:46:40every car that passed
00:46:42and I looked as far
00:46:44as I could
00:46:46and I looked as far as
00:46:48my eyes could see
00:46:50searching for him.
00:46:56Looking to see if I could find
00:46:58my daddy.
00:47:04Of course, as you can imagine, I never did.
00:47:06There it is.
00:47:14There it is.
00:47:16There's my big dirty secret
00:47:18I never told anyone.
00:47:20Happy?
00:47:22No.
00:47:26Did you ever see him again?
00:47:28Nope.
00:47:32I'm sorry.
00:47:34Your turn.
00:47:36Tell me about the misses.
00:47:38We met three years ago.
00:47:40Where?
00:47:42Jesus, what difference does it make?
00:47:44Deal's a deal, motherfucker.
00:47:46I stuck to my end, now pony up.
00:47:48We met during rehearsal for a play.
00:47:54I lied to you too.
00:47:56I am an actor.
00:47:58I knew it.
00:48:00Why lie?
00:48:02Because it opens up the same line of questioning.
00:48:04Oh, you're an actor? Have you done anything
00:48:06I would have seen you in?
00:48:08Which is the stupidest fucking question in the world
00:48:10because how the fuck do I know what you've seen?
00:48:14Then I have to face the truth that I've been out here
00:48:16for ten years and I haven't really done anything.
00:48:18No TV.
00:48:20No big films.
00:48:22Just theaters
00:48:24and non-union films
00:48:26and lots and lots of shitty student films.
00:48:28So what's wrong with that?
00:48:30Because it disgusts me.
00:48:32I'm disgusted by that, okay?
00:48:34I'm embarrassed and ashamed by it, alright?
00:48:36Alright.
00:48:42So to get back to your question,
00:48:44we met three years ago and got married.
00:48:46For how long?
00:48:50Eleven months.
00:48:52Whoa.
00:48:54You really stuck it out.
00:48:56Hey, just because your dad left you
00:48:58doesn't mean I ran away, okay? Because I did.
00:49:00She left me, alright?
00:49:02Alright. She left me.
00:49:04Alright. She left me.
00:49:06Okay.
00:49:08I can't do this. I'm sorry.
00:49:10What's this?
00:49:12We're just talking.
00:49:14Yeah, sure.
00:49:16Oh, I see.
00:49:18You mean that somewhere deep down inside
00:49:20Lil' Ol' Sid is just some needy bitch
00:49:22who wants you to be her boyfriend.
00:49:24Look.
00:49:28I love you.
00:49:30I really do.
00:49:32But I just can't be in something right now.
00:49:34I just don't want to.
00:49:36Well, who the fuck asked you to,
00:49:38you presumptuous fuck?
00:49:40I don't want anything more from you
00:49:42than a couple of orgasms.
00:49:44And what makes you think I want to be
00:49:46with some 40-year-old fucking bartender anyway?
00:49:48Don't. Don't be fucking mean.
00:49:52You know what I think?
00:49:54I think I was right before.
00:49:56You should go.
00:50:00Yeah, sure.
00:50:26Fuck.
00:50:56That was shitty of me.
00:50:58I'm sorry.
00:51:00No biggie.
00:51:04Yeah, well, I'm sorry.
00:51:08I think you're great, really.
00:51:14Most people, 20 minutes in,
00:51:16I want to set myself on fire.
00:51:18You're different.
00:51:22Glad to hear it.
00:51:24Glad to hear it.
00:51:26Get out.
00:51:34No.
00:51:38I'm sorry?
00:51:42No, I think I'm going to stay.
00:51:44It's really not your fucking decision
00:51:46to make now, is it?
00:51:48Get out!
00:51:50Nope.
00:52:04Wow.
00:52:08You are precious.
00:52:12One minute you're telling me
00:52:14you don't want anything to do with me,
00:52:16and the next you're refusing to leave my house?
00:52:18That's a very
00:52:20glass-less, half-empty kind of way
00:52:22of looking at it, don't you think?
00:52:24You don't know what I think?
00:52:26I'm sure in the next
00:52:2820 seconds I'll have an idea.
00:52:32I think you have exactly
00:52:3410 seconds to put those shoes back on
00:52:36and get the fuck out of my house
00:52:38before something bad happens to you.
00:52:42Can't we just go back to the part
00:52:44where all you want from me are some orgasms?
00:52:46I'm really sorry.
00:52:48Okay, sport. Out!
00:52:52I'm sorry about earlier. I am.
00:52:54I'm sure you are.
00:52:56But I'm through with you, so out you go.
00:52:58Fine. But look, I didn't mean
00:53:00what I said. I was upset.
00:53:02I'm serious. I'm done with you.
00:53:04What the fuck? Come on.
00:53:06I'm done. Me, not you.
00:53:08Me! Fuck!
00:53:12What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?
00:53:16Fuck.
00:53:46Fuck.
00:54:16Fuck.
00:54:46Fuck.
00:55:06You don't have to go if you don't want to.
00:55:16I lied to you before
00:55:18when I told you I just worked at Starbucks.
00:55:22I write.
00:55:24I want to be a writer.
00:55:28I don't know why I'm telling you now.
00:55:32I guess I thought you should know.
00:55:38Why'd you lie?
00:55:40Same as you.
00:55:42Same as you.
00:55:48In all these years, I've never published
00:55:50a single thing.
00:55:52Not one word.
00:55:58I'm sorry.
00:56:00I don't know what that's like.
00:56:02I'm sorry.
00:56:12I'm sorry I freaked out on you.
00:56:14I didn't mean to hit you.
00:56:20It's okay.
00:56:24Stay.
00:56:32On one condition.
00:57:03It's great.
00:57:08You don't have to say that.
00:57:11I'm serious. It's great.
00:57:15You're a great writer.
00:57:21Have you submitted it anywhere?
00:57:23No.
00:57:25Are you crazy? Why not?
00:57:29I just can't.
00:57:31I just can't take another no.
00:57:33I can't.
00:57:48What are you doing?
00:57:52What's your last name?
00:57:54Why?
00:57:56Because.
00:57:58What are you doing?
00:58:01Let me see.
00:58:04Last name, please.
00:58:06Do I have to get my bat again?
00:58:08If you want, but it's not going to stop me.
00:58:10I'm submitting this to the New Yorker.
00:58:12No. Come on.
00:58:14No, Cyd. I'm submitting this.
00:58:16All right? This needs to be seen.
00:58:18Other people have the right to see this.
00:58:20And when they say no, or worse,
00:58:22I hear absolutely nothing.
00:58:24What then?
00:58:26Then we try somewhere else.
00:58:29Yes. We.
00:58:31I've officially made myself your agent.
00:58:33Hey, pal.
00:58:35Based on what you told me about your career,
00:58:37that's like winning a bag of shit.
00:58:41That's nice. That's very nice language.
00:58:47You know the difference between you and me?
00:58:49Vagina?
00:58:52Yeah.
00:58:54And I haven't given up.
00:58:59Okay.
00:59:14Will M soon?
00:59:19Spell, please.
00:59:24W-H-I-L-E-M-S-O-N.
00:59:29Is Cyd short for Sydney?
00:59:31Cyd Hartha.
00:59:37My dad loved books, too.
00:59:43It's a beautiful name.
00:59:51Email.
00:59:55Cyd W-H-I-L-E-M-S-O-N.
00:59:58W-H-I-L-E-M-S-O-N.
01:00:11Congratulations.
01:00:13We've just submitted your short story to The New Yorker.
01:00:29You know what's so funny?
01:00:35When I first started writing, I was ecstatic about all of it.
01:00:42The research, the rewriting,
01:00:45the long hours,
01:00:47the confusion,
01:00:50the times when the characters start saying things you never anticipated.
01:00:58I loved it all.
01:01:02I even loved the submitting.
01:01:05The rejection didn't matter,
01:01:08because I was doing what I love to do.
01:01:12I was doing what I knew in my heart was right.
01:01:16I just knew I would win out.
01:01:19I knew I would publish.
01:01:22The idea of not making my living as a writer,
01:01:29of not getting to share my stories with the world,
01:01:34was ludicrous.
01:01:46Now,
01:01:49now,
01:01:55four novels,
01:01:5962 short stories,
01:02:04two screenplays,
01:02:07and notebook upon notebook of poetry later,
01:02:12the idea of writing,
01:02:21just the idea of it,
01:02:24hurts.
01:02:34Have you ever been in with a psychic?
01:02:37Have you ever been in with a psychic?
01:02:43A psychic?
01:02:44Yeah.
01:02:47Are you fucking kidding me?
01:02:50I went to one once. She totally helped.
01:02:52Did she now?
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:57It was kind of crazy.
01:03:00Creepy.
01:03:02You know, the way she was staring at me,
01:03:04and the intensity of her eyes,
01:03:06it was unsettling.
01:03:08Yeah?
01:03:10Did she tell you you were going to be rich and famous
01:03:12and then rape you for a hundred bucks?
01:03:15No.
01:03:16Not even close.
01:03:20She's staring at me,
01:03:22and she finally says,
01:03:25you were a dog in a past life.
01:03:29Seriously.
01:03:30And I say, okay.
01:03:32She goes,
01:03:34you were hit by a car and you broke your collarbone.
01:03:37Dogs have collarbones.
01:03:38Apparently.
01:03:40And then she says,
01:03:41you still have scar tissue and calcium deposits on it to this day.
01:03:46And you know what?
01:03:48She was right.
01:03:49I do.
01:03:51Get the fuck out of here.
01:03:53Seriously.
01:03:54Here.
01:03:56Look.
01:04:03Arrgh!
01:04:04Arrgh!
01:04:06Cocksucker!
01:04:07Cocker Spaniel, actually.
01:04:24The sun's coming up.
01:04:27I want to see you again.
01:04:32Do you?
01:04:34Yes.
01:04:37Why?
01:04:39Because I like you.
01:04:43I like you a lot, Siddhartha.
01:04:47And so we see each other again.
01:04:49Then what?
01:04:53I don't know.
01:04:55I don't know.
01:04:58What?
01:05:00We start dating?
01:05:03Are we going to date?
01:05:06Maybe, yeah.
01:05:12What's wrong with that?
01:05:14I thought you said you didn't want to be in anything right now.
01:05:18Isn't that what you said?
01:05:20I changed my mind.
01:05:22Oh, and how do I know a few weeks from now you won't change your mind again?
01:05:26How do I know that?
01:05:30I guess you don't.
01:05:32Exactly.
01:05:34Exactly.
01:05:52I've never felt this way before.
01:05:55What way?
01:06:00I've never felt the way I feel about you before.
01:06:07I've never just met someone and felt so drawn, so connected.
01:06:22I don't feel the same way, I understand.
01:06:24I mean, it's okay, maybe I'm off base or something.
01:06:26No.
01:06:29I feel the same way.
01:06:34Then this is rare, right?
01:06:38This is something we shouldn't just shut the door on, should we?
01:06:45What if we're wrong?
01:06:48What if our feelings are wrong, or worse, temporary?
01:06:58Huh? What then?
01:07:03I don't know, Cyd.
01:07:07I want to try.
01:07:18Cyd.
01:07:30I thought you were a betting kind of girl.
01:07:36Depends.
01:07:47Okay.