The Emperor's New School Doodles (Season 2)
Category
🎵
MusicTranscript
00:00It's time for Cusco's Doodles.
00:02That's the part of the show where I demonstrate how to share, Cusco style.
00:07Okay, here's Chaka, Teepo, and me.
00:10And here we each get a funny hat.
00:13That equals sharing.
00:15Wait, their hats are funnier than mine.
00:18Oh, I know.
00:21Ta-da! Look at me! I'm a hat-wearing share master.
00:24Now let me show you how to share the attic.
00:28Yep, it's time for Cusco's Doodles.
00:30That's where I show you all the ways Pacha and Chicha ruined my beach groove.
00:34I was on my way to being king of the beach.
00:37Envied by men, admired by women, sung to by musical dogs.
00:40Until old man Buzzkill showed up.
00:42Put on sunscreen, and the souvenir sun hat, and your flotilla.
00:46Cusco, stay out of the water until that rash clears up.
00:49Then everyone floated away, never to be seen again.
00:54Problem solved.
00:56Time for Cusco's Doodles, where I show you Pacha's lame-o llama club.
01:00We'll make Pacha the leader, and give him a big llama head hat.
01:04Wait, it should be bigger.
01:06Bingo! And let's add a big furry cape, and the scepter of simplicity, and the orb of boredom.
01:12All hail King Llama Herder, master of stinky animals.
01:15I'm Pacha, and I know all about champy ugly ponchos, and llama snot.
01:19That's enough, Cusco.
01:20Welcome to Cusco's Doodles.
01:22This is the part of the show where I explain the awesomeness of time capsules.
01:27See, the school yearbook, with my adorable picture in it, is going to be placed inside a time capsule.
01:33And then it's buried in the Temple of Tiahuanache, which only opens its doors once every thousand years.
01:38Bye-bye.
01:39Then in the future, people will open the time capsules, find my awesome picture, and shower me with never-ending praise.
01:45All hail the great and handsome Cusco.
01:48Welcome to Cusco's Doodles, where I show you how I single-handedly took control of the market.
01:52That's me, Lieutenant Cusco, Market PD.
01:56But with bigger muscles.
01:57And a cape.
01:58And a wacky sidekick.
01:59You're out of control, Sarge. You're a loose cannon.
02:02Nah, I don't need a sidekick.
02:03Lieutenant Cusco, here to control the dumb and clueless peasants.
02:07I'm dumb.
02:08I'm clueless. Someone tell us what to do.
02:10Tickets for loitering for each of you.
02:12Buy your November 1st day presents and get out.
02:14Oh, thank you, Officer Cusco. In fact, take these gifts as our apology.
02:18Ooh, a sailboat. And a churro. And some new fancy pants.
02:21We are not worthy! Lieutenant Cusco rules!
02:24And then my friends dump me in this statue.
02:27The end.
02:28It's time for Cusco's Doodles.
02:30That's the part of the show where I draw a day at Cusco Academy 2.
02:33The home version.
02:34School begins bright and early at 7 a.m.
02:37First class, sleeping in till 10.
02:41Then I get out of bed.
02:44That takes care of P.E.
02:46Then it's a quick three-hour lunch at the popular table.
02:50After lunch, time to study at the hottie hot hottie library.
02:54And after class, I'm captain of the Cusco's Always Right debate team.
02:58Cusco's amazingly handsome.
03:00No, Cusco's jaw-droppingly handsome.
03:02And after a long productive day, it's time to go home.
03:06Oh, look, I'm already home.
03:08Home sweet home school.
03:10It's time for Guaca's Doodles.
03:12That's where I try to make my gut-wrenching problem funny.
03:15Here I am, and...
03:17Wait, there's a sausage on your head?
03:20That's a beret.
03:21And I'm doing what I fear most in the world.
03:24Balancing a sausage?
03:25Painting.
03:26Really? Because, you know, it looks like a watermelon with a sausage on its head talking to a box of chocolates.
03:31Can I finish?
03:33I want to be a muck slinger like my dad.
03:35Working in the soil, slinging the mud and muck around.
03:38But he's always saying,
03:40I want she to have a better life than I.
03:42Away from the ditches and the dirt.
03:44Bringing beauty to the world.
03:45Like a right famous artist.
03:47Your father's Irish?
03:48You got a problem with that?
03:49No, no, just stop drawing.
03:51You're making doodles look bad.
03:52Yep, it's time for Cusco's Doodles.
03:54Where I show you how Melina and I will reign over school together.
03:58Here we are.
03:59I'm the handsome one.
04:00And we should have crowns.
04:02And a fancy throne.
04:03Nope, even better, a hot tub throne.
04:06And we will rule together with an iron fist.
04:08As punishment for missing school, you must give us piggyback rides.
04:12On real piggies.
04:13Oh, Cusco, you're the vice senator of my heart.
04:18When Cusco met Bikini Sloth.
04:21So, Bikini Sloth, want to go defeat some bad guys?
04:23But Cusco, all I can think about are your big muscles.
04:27Boom, bam, baby.
04:29Looking good.
04:32Yep, a superhero's got to keep in shape.
04:34And exercise their superpowers.
04:41Now it's time for Cusco's Doodles.
04:43The part of the show where I design my super snazzy Cusco man suit.
04:47Let's see.
04:48Oh, I should have a shark's fin.
04:49And big wings so I can fly.
04:50Moosh, dive.
04:52He swims, he flies.
04:53Swims, flies.
04:57Yeah, but that fin sort of makes my head look big.
04:59And I'm a back sleeper, so those wings might be a problem.
05:02Ooh, maybe I'll just walk around with bags of money.
05:05That's a good look for me.
05:06I'll just pay the villains to go away.
05:08But I should add a cape.
05:12Because that'll look cool when I fly.
05:14Perfect.
05:15Now it's time for Guaca's Doodles.
05:17The part of the show where I, Guaca, figure out what Cusco would do.
05:21Now first...
05:22Did somebody say Cusco?
05:24Actually, sir, I was just doodling about what you'd do if you were in my shoes.
05:28Ha, if I were in your shoes, I'd trip.
05:31Ha ha, get it?
05:33Hey everyone, I found Bigfoot.
05:35Look, if I were you, I would give me back my crown.
05:39No, if you were me, you'd just smile and pull the lever.
05:43Now it's time for Molina's Doodles.
05:46Which aren't really doodles, more an organizational tool to figure out what I'm supposed to do.
05:51Okay, this chart shows how much stress I've been feeling over time.
05:55A little at first, a little more.
05:57Then a little more, a little more.
06:00Ow!
06:01Okay, start over.
06:02I need a pie chart to show how I organize my time,
06:05because now I'm spending half my time worrying about the interview,
06:09a third of my time worrying about what I'm going to wear,
06:13a quarter of my time worrying what if I blow it,
06:16and another quarter worrying that I'm worrying too much.
06:19That's too much pie!
06:20Ugh!
06:21Okay, what I need is a flow chart to help me start flowing charting.
06:25Oh, and a pie chart, and a bar.
06:28A bar?
06:29Oh, I need a pie flow bar chart thing.
06:33Or I could just ask Kuzco how to relax.
06:36Now it's time for Kuzco's Doodles,
06:38the part of the show where I, Kuzco, figure out how to get rid of all these peasant-y types
06:43without getting rid of the pleasant-y types.
06:47Okay, first I go to cowboy school,
06:49and they teach me how to do that spinny rope thing.
06:53Ooh, and I get to ride a mechanical bull.
06:55Yeehaw!
06:56Moo!
06:57We're peasants, and we're stinking up the palace.
07:00Moo!
07:01Then I herd them into a pen and sell them to a farmer,
07:04whom they can worship as their king.
07:06All hail King Farmer!
07:08Moo!
07:09Wait, who's going to worship me?
07:11Yeah, better go with the old just-be-yourself.
07:15Welcome to Kuzco's Doodles, where I give you the 411 on my old man,
07:19as much as I remember.
07:21Kuzco's daddy, big emperor.
07:23No, even bigger.
07:26That's it.
07:27You can see where I got my bulging biceps.
07:30So daddy goes on a long trip and was lost at sea.
07:34In the meantime, the entire kingdom is handed over to baby Kuzco.
07:37That's me!
07:38It's time for Kuzco's Doodles,
07:40the part of the show where I come up with a plan.
07:42A plan of how to keep this attached to this
07:45without everyone thinking I'm one of these.
07:48Okay, first we buy a big crane from the crane store.
07:52Then it lifts me up in the air right when it's kitty feeding time.
07:55Won't people see the crane?
07:57No, because you planted a hedge in front of it.
08:01And then we return the crane to the crane store
08:04and tell them we didn't like the color.
08:06It's time for...
08:07Wait, isn't that doodling thing a bit done?
08:10No way, it's the hottest thing in television.
08:12All the good shows are doing doodles.
08:14Okay, doodle.
08:15It's time for Kuzco's Doodles,
08:17where I demonstrate my way better than Yzma's plan.
08:20We throw me a big party
08:22and invite lots of hotties.
08:24Yay!
08:25Next, we jump in the bounce house for hours,
08:27working up a big thirst.
08:29Then we get drinks from the meat mug fountain
08:31as more hotties are added.
08:33The end.