• 4 months ago
The King of Queens is an American television sitcom that ran on CBS from September 21, 1998, to May 14, 2007, a total of nine seasons and 207 episodes. The series was created by Michael J. Weithorn and David Litt, who also served as the show's executive producer, and stars Kevin James and Leah Remini as Doug and Carrie Heffernan, a working-class couple living in Rego Park, Queens. All the episodes were filmed in front of a live studio audience.[1][2]

The King of Queens was produced by Hanley Productions and CBS Productions (1998–2007), CBS Paramount Network Television (2007), in association with Columbia TriStar Television (1998–2002), and Sony Pictures Television (2002–07). It was filmed at Sony Pictures Studios in Culver City, California. The ninth and final season concluded with a double-length finale episode in 2007. James and Remini reunited in the 2016 television sitcom Kevin Can Wait,[3] which ended on May 7, 2018.[4]

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Transcript
00:00Give us a break, will ya? We've only got one good hip between us!
00:07Lift with your legs!
00:09Don't tell me how to lift!
00:23Well, seems as though fate took a hand, huh?
00:26Yeah.
00:27Would have been simpler if you agreed to move my armoire in the first place,
00:30but it's a good lesson for next time.
00:32Cookie?
00:34Mind if I do?
00:35Mickey, I told you to stop opening packages!
00:37Oh, did ya?
00:38This hearing aid is crap.
00:40I heard, stop making sausages.
00:43Why would he say that?
00:46Heffernan! What the hell is going on?
00:48I'm getting calls left and right from customers waiting for drop-offs!
00:51What's that, that Howard Stern fella?
00:53It's Howard Stern. He's talking directly to me.
00:55Sorry, Supervisor O'Boyles, I got caught up in a little unexpected delay.
00:59Delay?
01:00Yeah, the thing is, I...
01:01I don't give a flying crap!
01:03Just unplug your head from your butt and get the route done!
01:06Absolutely, sir, I'm gonna be...
01:07Arthur!
01:08How dare you talk to that man like that?
01:09Arthur!
01:10Who is this?
01:11This is your worst nightmare, friend.
01:13I was in the U.S. Army, 33rd Brigade, and I'm telling you to step off!
01:17Yeah? Well, I was in the 42nd Brigade.
01:1942nd, huh?
01:21Pretty tough bunch. You're on your own here.
01:23What a wuss.
01:25Shut up, old man!
01:33Oh, you are home! What are you doing in here?
01:35I can't go in that house.
01:36If I'm in the same building with him, I'll do something.
01:38Something unholy involving him and that armoire.
01:41Now, just relax. What happened with your boss today?
01:43He beat me out in front of the entire office!
01:45And then he assigned me to package-shorting duty for a week.
01:47Package-shorting!
01:48He might as well have thrown a wig on me and called me Sally!
01:50All right, look, listen. I will go downstairs and I will talk to my dad.
01:53I'll just tell him he's got to...
01:54Got to what? What? Stop being a lunatic?
01:56I will start there, yes.
01:57Listen, honey, I'm gonna ask you a question here,
02:00and I don't want you to take this the wrong way.
02:02Does anyone else know he's here?
02:04Stop. Come on. It just seems worse than it is
02:07because it's like 100 degrees in here,
02:09and you've been breathing in a lot of pain thinner.
02:11Now, let's just go inside and take a nice, cool shower.
02:15Mmm, keep talking.
02:17I'll let you videotape it.
02:20Sorry, darling, I didn't realize you were home.
02:22Hi, Daddy. Heard you and Doug had a little adventure today.
02:26Indeed we did, and on that note, Douglas,
02:28there's something that needs to be said.
02:31I'm listening.
02:33You put a nasty little nick in my armoire.
02:37That's what needs to be said.
02:38Okay, you know what? Why don't you come inside, Dad?
02:40I'll make you a nice baked apple. Come on.
02:42I realize you were distracted by your boss's hurtful comments about your weight,
02:46but you might be a little bit more careful in the future.
02:49Your customers may not be as forgiving as I am.
02:52Baked apple. Right this way.
02:54Do you understand at all that you almost got me canned?
02:57It's bad enough that you trounce all over my home.
02:59Do you have to trounce on my job, too?
03:01That's too much trouncing.
03:03You think this living arrangement is easy for me?
03:05You think I like walking around here on eggshells?
03:07Eggshells? Is that what we've been getting here for the past year?
03:09You on eggshells? Well, thank you for holding back.
03:13All right, enough of both of you.
03:15Now, let's all just go inside.
03:17I will make you a baked apple. I will take a shower.
03:19Reverse that. Let's just all go inside.
03:22Douglas, obviously, my living here is very unpleasant for you.
03:25Perhaps I should make some other arrangements.
03:27Dad, stop it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm interested.
03:29Go on. Where would you go? Where would you go? Come on. Come on. Where would you go?
03:31I have options. Options?
03:33Oh, so there are several mental institutions wooing you.
03:36I'm just a crazy old man who can't hack it on my own.
03:38Is that what you think?
03:40Yes.
03:41That's not stopping.
03:43Let me tell you something, Douglas.
03:45I've been on my own since I was 17.
03:47I could take care of myself then, and I can take care of myself now.
03:51Where'd that door go?
03:53It's over here, Dad.
03:55Fine. I'm gonna get my things.
03:57I'll be staying at Mickey's until I can find a more permanent situation!
04:15You

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