How Do You Do The Right Thing Even When It's Hard? | Attaching to Allah
To crave acceptance is human, but gaining acceptance, especially when it comes to our faith, is not always possible. What can we learn from Prophet Ibrahim (as) about how to live through the loneliness of taking a stand- and what are some of the unexpected benefits you've seen in your own life for doing so?
Tune in with Dr. Omar Suleiman, Ustadha Sarah Sultan and guests for episode 1 of Attaching to Allah
Tune in with Dr. Omar Suleiman, Ustadha Sarah Sultan and guests for episode 1 of Attaching to Allah
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00What's your story? What's your explanation? Especially if they're non-Muslim and
00:04I always catch myself saying like oh, but I'm still the same person and as soon as I say that
00:10Like I just feel so like am I?
00:25Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minalfaqri walqillati walzillah
00:30wa a'udhu bika min an adhlima aw uzlam
00:43So there's this this notion in Islam of
00:46liberation and the more that you immerse yourself in servitude to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in
00:52submission to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:54The more freedom you actually experience and so let's start with two things. You've got
00:59freedom from the burden of social validation, the need to be accepted, right?
01:05And then you've got the other side of that coin, which is the fear of ridicule and they both stem from the same place
01:11But they have different manifestations. Now in the case of Ibrahim al-Islam, right? His torture, his
01:18ridicule, the harm that comes his way is much later.
01:21You have a whole journey of da'wah, of calling his people to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
01:26And I want you to think about how frustrating this can be.
01:29Imam al-Kathir says he's of the most eloquent of the prophets.
01:35He's literally the example of how to do da'wah, right? How to call people to God. You see the way he calls his father,
01:41the methodology is
01:43laid out for us and now he does da'wah to his father and
01:47he has all the tools, but at the end of the day, they didn't have the hearts for it.
01:51It wasn't a lack of tools on his part. It was a lack of heart on their part.
01:56And their willingness to accept it. But imagine being in the society and doing everything right and
02:02not having a single person to affirm you, right?
02:06Lut alayhi salam, his nephew goes on somewhere else. His wife Sara does not come until later on in his journey.
02:14So he's got years upon years where it's just him.
02:19Despite being as eloquent as he is,
02:22despite having the power of those tools that Allah gave him with a powerful message.
02:27Have you ever been in a situation where
02:30you wanted to do the right thing,
02:33but you felt alone in that? You didn't have anyone to affirm you and what do you take from the story, this idea of
02:39trying to do the right thing, but not having anyone around you to affirm you?
02:43I mean, I was a vastly different person before I accepted Islam.
02:48So it was like a whoa, like you're accepting Islam, like who will you become now?
02:55You have to continue to practice and that practice comes with some of that adversity.
03:00So let me ask you this. Was there a moment in your journey like you became Muslim
03:04where you felt the sweetness of pleasing Allah when no one else got it?
03:10Yes, I mean every day I read, I mean, I felt like I was a better person in my community.
03:16I felt like I had changed my life. Like I literally felt like I am a new person.
03:21I can do things differently than the way they were before and I can be someone else.
03:27So yeah, that moment of just
03:29being there and then, you know, years later going to Hajj and being like, oh man, I've really arrived.
03:34Like I've really reached a pinnacle in my deen where
03:39you know, I made a lot of right decisions and, you know, Allah allowed me to make these good decisions and Islam saved me
03:47from, you know, Jalaliyya or whatever it is that, you know, was in front of me before Islam.
03:53MashaAllah, beautiful.
03:54Anybody else have anything they want to share just sort of about that moment of pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?
03:58And I would imagine for sisters in particular that that's, you know, a daily struggle, right?
04:04You walk into a place and you're the only obviously Muslim person there
04:08and you sort of learn that, you know what, I'm doing this for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and no one else.
04:13I mean going off
04:15his story about conversion, even as a born Muslim, I always think about how we go through our own
04:22conversion in Islam, I would say
04:25just when you move from like
04:27teens to adult and then, you know, the next stage in life,
04:30there's that epiphany that you get and you can finally taste that sweetness
04:36of pleasing Allah and for me, you know, I always say college can either make it or break you and alhamdulillah,
04:42you know, I started,
04:44my whole spiritual growth was within those college years and when I, you know, started wearing hijab and
04:52the opposite is that I feel like I fell to that social
04:57validation because as soon as I started wearing hijab, which was around in the middle of my college years,
05:02you know, people always ask you what's your story, what's your explanation, especially if they're non-Muslim and
05:08I always catch myself saying like, oh, but I'm still the same person and
05:12as soon as I say that,
05:14like I just feel so like, am I? Right? Like I wore the hijab for a reason,
05:20I wore it, you know, to please the one and only creator and by saying that I feel like I just
05:26invalidated everything for, you know, society and so it, you know, with hijab, I'm sure we all have our own journeys.
05:33It's, you know, it's just the common
05:36reminder of why you're wearing the hijab, you know, it's not just a piece of cloth,
05:40it's how you act and say and
05:42that is what's grown in me. I wasn't the same person anymore. I was, you know,
05:48hopefully someone better in the eyes of Allah.
05:50That's profound and I wonder if there's even a moment of that for, again, many of the companions of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
05:58Even like with Ibrahim A.S., the Prophet's like, I'm still the person, you know, and that's really what you mean.
06:03It's not that I have not grown,
06:05it's that what made me beloved to you, my character, our relationship, that's still there, right?
06:12And I think that when you, you know, take that next step,
06:16whether you're converting to Islam or whether you are, you know, taking the next step in your journey to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
06:23there could be that sort of environment where like, oh now she's gotten religious, now he's gotten religious,
06:30like, oh, I wonder if we can still talk about this. I wonder if we can still talk about that. At some point,
06:35maybe it's like, you know what, actually, no, like you should be uncomfortable saying and doing certain things around me at this point,
06:41not because I'm condescending and judgmental, but because I'm principled and I've got a clear pursuit and purpose.
06:48So I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, but I am trying to make you more purposeful.
06:53And you got to find that fine line, right?
06:55And a lot of times it's not that as you're taking that next step that you're becoming harsher, right?
07:01Hopefully you're not, but that other people are, you know, a little insecure with your growth, right?
07:08Well, wait a minute, you know, how could you take this step without me?
07:10Now, how could you move forward?
07:12Let me ask you a question, all right?
07:14Have you ever found, and especially with you, Antonio, I think I'll ask you this too,
07:20in particular, when you first took that step and maybe someone was uncomfortable, but they actually came to respect it.
07:28Yeah, so for me, it was everyone in the neighborhood, you know?
07:33So I grew up in D.C., I grew up in a really, you know, tough neighborhood, so quote, unquote.
07:39And so, you know, accepting Islam and becoming Muslim, it was just one of those things that, you know,
07:44it happens in the black community where you're like, man, you're growing,
07:48you're making a conscious decision to be different from what the group is.
07:52In Islam, your actions are your dawah, they speak the loudest.
07:56And that's what people will be looking to see and understand.
08:00And you want them, you know, your family, they're happy for you.
08:03They see you progressing.
08:05They see you've made an individual decision to be different from how everyone else has grown up.
08:09You decide to do other more positive things because of your belief in yourself.
08:14You believe Allah is your back.
08:15And now you feel this, you know, this energy, this, you know, this courage and this positivity and positive reinforcement to go to college
08:23and do things that you normally probably would not have pursued had you not, you know, had Islam there and reading about Islam
08:30and all the beauty and the love of Islam.
08:33And so in those situations, yeah, you just really, you know, and people are just happy and they come back.
08:38And even years later, like, man, I'm just so proud of you.
08:41I know it's been a long time, but from that time to now, you know, and I always give credit to Islam, you know, for allowing me to have that opportunity.
08:52So I'll share, SubhanAllah, one of the things that's very beautiful about this story of Ibrahim A.S.
09:00is that he becomes so revered, so loved, you know, everyone wants to claim him, right?
09:07The three Abrahamic faiths, right?
09:10Judaism, Christianity, Islam, everyone wants to claim Ibrahim A.S.
09:15Ibrahim A.S., even the Meccans had a drawing of Ibrahim A.S. in the Kaaba, you know, complete pagans, right?
09:21Everyone wants to lay claim to Ibrahim A.S.
09:24So he goes on to become beloved.
09:26And of course, more than anything else, look how Allah elevates him, right?
09:31Where it really counts, where it's most meaningful.
09:34And this is a manifestation of the Hadith of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
09:38where he said that whoever pleases Allah by displeasing the people, Allah will be pleased with that person.
09:44And Allah will cause the people to be pleased with that person as well.
09:47And whoever pleases the people by displeasing Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,
09:51Allah will be displeased with that person and Allah will cause the people to be displeased with that person as well.
09:56And the way the scholars describe that is, you know, when you're a person of principle,
10:00initially people might feel an aversion to you because they don't like you calling them on their ways.
10:04They don't like feeling challenged by you, even if it's just your trajectory, just your practice.
10:09And maybe they enjoy the messy gossipy person when that person is talking about someone else,
10:14or the person that drags them down when they're down.
10:17But eventually they want to move away from that person.
10:20And they don't want anything to do with that person.
10:23So it's like the opposite of what the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
10:25man samma'a samma'a Allahu bihi.
10:27Whoever just causes or seeks to cause people to hear of their good,
10:31Allah will cause people to hear of their bad.
10:33And whoever shows off,
10:35wa man yuraa'i yuraa'i illaahu bihi.
10:36Whoever tries to show off their good, Allah shows off their bad.
10:39Allah will make an example out of them in that regard.
10:42And this has implications in the dunya and in the akhirah, in this life and in the next.
10:47So you look at Ibrahim Alayhis Salaam,
10:49you look at the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, right?
10:52They tried to call him Muthammam, the one who's humiliated, dispraised.
10:56They did not want his name said in Mecca.
10:59Now, ash-hadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah
11:02is shouted out throughout the world at every single moment.
11:06SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam is a constant,
11:08sending our peace and blessings upon him.
11:10Allah says, wa rafa'na laka dhikrak.
11:12We have elevated your name to the point that
11:16he is the most famous name in the world,
11:19the most influential man in history
11:21and the most revered man, SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam.
11:24And so you take this journey, this trajectory
11:28and some of the scholars said the most comprehensive of du'as
11:31when Zakariya Alayhis Salaam was praying for his son.
11:34He said, wa ja'al hu rabbi radiya.
11:37Make him, oh my Lord, pleasing.
11:39Pleasing to who?
11:41Obviously, first and foremost, pleasing to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la.
11:45But if you're pleasing to Allah,
11:47then what happens if Allah loves you?
11:50Then all the angels love you
11:52and all the inhabitants of the heavens love you.
11:55And then the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said,
11:58yu'la' lahu al-qabool fil-ard.
11:59That Allah places acceptance in the hearts of people,
12:02love in the hearts of people for that person.
12:04That's not everybody.
12:06That's people whose love is worth having.
12:09Those are hearts that love for the right reasons.
12:12And so they become pleased with you as well.
12:15And that sort of leads into
12:17this journey of Ibrahim Alayhis Salaam
12:20that he learned from a very early age
12:23to seek no one but Allah
12:25because he had no one around him
12:26except Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
12:28that was affirming him and praising him
12:31as he was taking this journey to him.
12:33So Sister Sara, how do you navigate
12:35people being on a different path than you
12:38and the pressure and the loneliness that comes with that?
12:41SubhanAllah, it's one of the most difficult experiences
12:44to feel alone when you're trying to do
12:48what you know is right,
12:50but the people around you are not in support of that.
12:52And that loneliness can be a very, very difficult experience.
12:55And we see that in the story of Ibrahim Alayhis Salaam.
12:58But one of the things that I think is incredibly helpful
13:02when we think about this
13:04is to number one, realize that the standard
13:07of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
13:08is that stability that we're looking for.
13:11And if we're basing our standards
13:13on the standards of society, on the standards of people,
13:16it's going to be a very fluctuating situation.
13:20Our identities are always going to be in flux,
13:22our choices, our actions are always going to be changing.
13:26And that instability can be very disconcerting spiritually
13:29and then also psychologically, right?
13:31So how do we combat that difficulty?
13:35You know, the Rasul Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam tells us
13:36that Islam began as something strange
13:38and it will return to being something strange.
13:39So give glad tidings to the strangers.
13:42But it's really important to acknowledge
13:43that even though we know that there are glad tidings
13:48given to strangers, to choosing that path
13:50that's pleasing to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la,
13:52it's still really hard.
13:53And it's okay that it's hard.
13:54And that's part of the reward, that it's really hard.
13:57So acknowledging that as being the first thing.
13:59And then the second acknowledgement
14:01is to realize that our actions
14:04are what we're held accountable for.
14:06So the people who are on a separate path
14:10that we are wanting to not feel so alone in this path
14:14and we might be tempted toward that path,
14:16in the end, we're not going to be asked
14:18about the path that they chose.
14:19We're only going to be held accountable
14:21for the path that we choose.
14:23And so having that self-accountability
14:24that we focus so much on what other people do,
14:28but in the end, that's not what matters.
14:29What matters is what we do.
14:31And then finally, the third acknowledgement
14:33that I think really helps with that feeling of loneliness
14:36is to realize that in the end,
14:39when we submit in the way that Ibrahim Alayhi Salaam
14:42submitted and we choose that difficult path
14:45of walking that path of loneliness,
14:47that in the end, realizing that that is for us.
14:51That is, that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
14:52doesn't benefit or it doesn't take away
14:55from Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
14:56or benefit Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
14:57which path we follow, but it benefits us.
15:00And so that path is for us.
15:02And when we acknowledge that,
15:04that what we're doing, this hardship that we're going through
15:06actually for our own benefit,
15:08it tends to make that path of loneliness
15:11a little bit easier InshaAllah.
15:14So can you think back to a moment
15:15where you were willing to seek Allah's acceptance
15:19and risk people's judgment?
15:21And how did you get through that moment?
15:23Please share with us in the comments.