Magic Kid Ninja Dragons
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:00:50There comes a time in a boy's life
00:00:52where he must choose to follow life's path to manhood,
00:00:55stepping away from all that is safe and known,
00:00:58relying only on instinct
00:00:59and what small stones of knowledge
00:01:01he has gathered from his youth,
00:01:03a choice that if made too early could be deadly
00:01:06and if made too late could be gone forever.
00:01:09This journey is known in all religions as the coming of age,
00:01:12communion, bar mitzvah, and the like.
00:01:15It is also known in athletics as the breaking point
00:01:17for which one is no longer satisfied with just participation
00:01:20but must leap into the realm of excellence.
00:01:23I was about to make this journey at 11 years of age,
00:01:25having no concept of my true path,
00:01:28but only that I must journey upon it.
00:01:32For me, this journey came at the Michigan State
00:01:34Martial Arts Championships in my hometown of Kalamazoo.
00:01:38♪♪♪
00:01:44Welcome to the 15th Annual
00:01:46Michigan State Martial Arts Championships.
00:01:49Each and every one of you is here to test your martial skills.
00:01:53Today we have no losers.
00:01:56Everyone walks away a winner,
00:01:58but only one of you emerges a champion.
00:02:02Pay your respects.
00:02:04♪♪♪
00:02:09Hey!
00:02:11Hey!
00:02:13Hey!
00:02:14Hey!
00:02:16♪♪♪
00:02:21Yeah!
00:02:23In this great tournament of skill and strength,
00:02:25both physically and mentally,
00:02:27there could only be one champion,
00:02:29and with ninjutsu as my sport, teacher, and religion,
00:02:32this would be my coming of age,
00:02:34my breaking point, in which all things before
00:02:37could only begin to prepare for what lie ahead.
00:02:40♪♪♪
00:02:47I watched the little kids stumble through their skills.
00:02:50My turn would come.
00:02:53My parents sat out there with a mixture of pride and fear.
00:02:56Oh, they're so cute.
00:02:58They're too little to be fighting.
00:03:01Kevin was that age when he started.
00:03:04Yeah, when you pushed him into it.
00:03:06It was better than beating up his sister, don't you think?
00:03:11My sister helped warm me up,
00:03:13but she was more interested in getting herself warmed up.
00:03:16Hey, Randy.
00:03:18I'll be there in a second, okay?
00:03:20Come on.
00:03:21Ow!
00:03:22What'd you do that for?
00:03:24Pay attention.
00:03:25Fine.
00:03:26Come on.
00:03:28♪♪♪♪
00:03:38♪♪♪♪
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00:04:01With the challenge down to two and headgears removed,
00:04:04I stepped once more onto the mat
00:04:06that had so often been a body, mind, and spirit
00:04:09like a perfectly tuned machine.
00:04:11I took the reins of life in my hands,
00:04:13prepared to ride the beast through all obstacles ahead
00:04:16and all trials and tribulations that stood in my path.
00:04:19This is where my journey begins.
00:04:21Go!
00:04:22♪♪♪♪
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00:05:42Kenneth Bryant!
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00:06:02Congratulations, Kevin.
00:06:04You're the youngest junior champ we've ever had,
00:06:06and I'm very proud of you.
00:06:08Thanks, Sensei.
00:06:09Megan tells me you two are going to California.
00:06:11And I'm going to meet Don the Dragon Wilson.
00:06:13My uncle's a close personal friend of his,
00:06:15so we're going to go see him at the studios.
00:06:17That's great, man.
00:06:18So when are you guys leaving?
00:06:20Tomorrow morning.
00:06:23♪♪♪♪♪
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00:07:37Arriving at gate 25A, United Flight 629 from Toledo.
00:07:45Mother and I are really going to miss you two.
00:07:47Me too, Dad.
00:07:49Now, Megan, you've got that money I gave you.
00:07:51It's right here.
00:07:52Keep an eye on your little brother.
00:07:53I will.
00:07:54Hey, you got the tickets?
00:07:55Right here.
00:07:57Megan.
00:07:59You know, Los Angeles is a little different than Kalamazoo.
00:08:02Thank God.
00:08:04What I'm trying to say is you might have to be a little more careful out there.
00:08:07Are you talking about condoms?
00:08:09Jesus, Megan, I am not talking about condoms.
00:08:12Will you calm down?
00:08:16Sorry.
00:08:18Now boarding at gate 19, Midwest Flight 192, Los Angeles.
00:08:22Bye.
00:08:23I love you.
00:08:24Be good.
00:08:25Bye.
00:08:26Bye.
00:08:27Parents with young children, children flying alone,
00:08:29and those requiring assistance may now board at this time.
00:08:34You know, we need this time together.
00:08:36We haven't had a vacation, just the two of us, in 16 years.
00:08:40I know.
00:08:41But your brother?
00:08:43Don't worry about him.
00:08:45I just wish we could be sure.
00:08:47He promised me he's turned over a new leaf.
00:08:50Fact is, he said he's become something of a health food nut.
00:08:53Hmm.
00:08:55Come on, Lou.
00:08:57Listen up, all right?
00:08:59It's my anniversary.
00:09:00Last year's anniversary, I won over $25,000.
00:09:04Last year you were able to pay.
00:09:06You haven't booked a movie now in over two years.
00:09:10You know, you're the only bookie I know that reads Variety.
00:09:13And besides, for your information, I can do it.
00:09:16I can do it.
00:09:17I can do it.
00:09:18I can do it.
00:09:19I can do it.
00:09:20I can do it.
00:09:21You know, you're the only bookie I know that reads Variety.
00:09:24And besides, for your information, I can pay.
00:09:26Come on, be a pal.
00:09:28Put $5,000 on blind theory.
00:09:30Now, if you lose, I collect today.
00:09:34I'm not going to lose.
00:09:35And besides, I got it covered.
00:09:37I got a sure thing on the Raiders later today.
00:09:39You bet on the Raiders?
00:09:40Yeah.
00:09:41They're going to kick Miami's ass.
00:09:43I know.
00:09:44I can feel it.
00:09:45Miami's ahead by 20 points an hour ago, schmuck.
00:09:51God!
00:09:55Anita!
00:09:59I can't believe he forgot about us.
00:10:01I'm sure he didn't forget about us.
00:10:03I mean, he's probably clued in some big deal.
00:10:05Sure.
00:10:10Sweetheart, what a wonderful anniversary party!
00:10:12Oh, thank you.
00:10:15I just want to see the last couple of minutes of the game.
00:10:18Sweetheart, the game's over.
00:10:20Oh, dear God, please tell me the Raiders won.
00:10:23Oh, honey, the Raiders got creamed.
00:10:26I'm a dead man.
00:10:28Oh, sweetheart, don't worry.
00:10:30There's another game next week.
00:10:32And I'll buy you dinner.
00:10:34Anita, I'm not talking about dinner.
00:10:36I just lost $10,000.
00:10:38I didn't know you had 10 grand.
00:10:41That's the problem.
00:10:42I don't.
00:10:43Oh, gosh.
00:10:45You need a drink.
00:10:46Gosh.
00:10:47A bulletproof vest is what I need.
00:10:49You also need to pick.
00:10:51You should have picked up your niece and nephew 30 minutes ago.
00:10:55Oh, God!
00:11:03Oh, my God.
00:11:05Well, what airline are they on?
00:11:07What flight?
00:11:08It doesn't matter, Anita.
00:11:09They landed two hours ago.
00:11:11Well, then what do they look like?
00:11:13Come on.
00:11:14One's a girl.
00:11:15One's a boy, all right?
00:11:16Oh, well, now that makes everything crystal clear.
00:11:21Anita.
00:11:27Now, where are we going?
00:11:29I'm looking for the lost niece and nephew section.
00:11:32This is too confusing.
00:11:34Maybe they missed their flight, I hope.
00:11:37Well, I'm going to go back to the gate and check again.
00:11:39It's okay.
00:11:40I'm going to go get a drink.
00:11:43Okay.
00:11:45Come on.
00:11:46Let's just go get a cab.
00:11:47I'm sick of waiting here.
00:11:48I know the address.
00:11:49Do you know how much a cab costs?
00:11:51Yeah.
00:11:56Hey, kids.
00:11:57How are you?
00:11:58Welcome to the airport.
00:12:01Where have you been?
00:12:02We have been waiting here for over two hours.
00:12:05Well, you're kidding.
00:12:07It must be the time zone difference or something.
00:12:11You kids hungry or something?
00:12:12Would you like a piece of celery?
00:12:14No, thanks.
00:12:15Anita, look who I found.
00:12:17Well, lucky you.
00:12:20Hi, I'm Anita.
00:12:21You must be Megan, and you must be Kevin.
00:12:23It's very nice to meet you.
00:12:25Finally.
00:12:27Okay, well, let's go, guys.
00:12:29Let's go.
00:12:45Wow!
00:12:46Is this your house, Uncle Bob?
00:12:48It's the summer house, the summer house.
00:12:51Well, how come it's for sale?
00:12:53Because he's broke, honey.
00:12:54The plumbing's broke.
00:12:56The plumbing is broken.
00:12:59This is a great place.
00:13:01Let's take a jacuzzi.
00:13:03What's a jacuzzi?
00:13:05Well, sweetheart, it's like a lobster pot
00:13:07without the lobsters.
00:13:12Do you really know Don Wilson?
00:13:14I mean, do you know him?
00:13:16Do I know Don Wilson?
00:13:18Don the Dragon Wilson?
00:13:20We go way back.
00:13:23He's my hero.
00:13:24A lot of the martial art movie stars
00:13:26don't practice what they preach.
00:13:28But the dragon's for real.
00:13:30I mean, meeting him's gonna be,
00:13:32well, it's gonna be a dream come true.
00:13:35You know what?
00:13:36I'm glad I can arrange it for you
00:13:38because it makes me happy.
00:13:40And meeting Tommy Hart.
00:13:42I mean, everybody at home doesn't believe me.
00:13:44I mean, I'm sure you know him.
00:13:46Do I know Tommy Hart?
00:13:48I need to tell you.
00:13:49Do I know Tommy Hart?
00:13:51Do you?
00:13:52You're joking.
00:13:54You're a joker.
00:13:56She's a comedian actress.
00:13:58She falls down a lot.
00:14:01I'm getting kind of hot.
00:14:03Me too.
00:14:04You guys are hot?
00:14:05Well, why don't you go on up
00:14:07to the house and I'll be up in a second.
00:14:14Nice kids.
00:14:16Yeah.
00:14:17I think the little girl looks like me.
00:14:21I call on the dragon for help and strength.
00:14:25I request your presence in a just cause.
00:14:31Wow.
00:14:34So what is this ninja stuff all about anyway?
00:14:38Well, it's about honor, integrity,
00:14:41and doing the right thing.
00:14:43Well, I never work in Hollywood.
00:14:45All right, so it's about honor, integrity,
00:14:46and doing the right thing.
00:14:47So when does the, you know, kick-ass stuff come in, huh?
00:14:50There's a lot more to it than that.
00:14:52The dragon says that a real ninja,
00:14:54not a cartoon ninja,
00:14:56can go into any room
00:14:58and using the objects in that room
00:15:00decide on ten possible ways to kill his opponent.
00:15:04Wow.
00:15:05So you believe in this ninja philosophy and you use it,
00:15:08I mean, like, everywhere you go,
00:15:09like, even in the bathroom and stuff?
00:15:11Yes.
00:15:12So you could possibly maim somebody with a toothbrush
00:15:14or, like, kill him with toilet paper?
00:15:16Well, of course.
00:15:17You mean to tell me that you can think of ten ways
00:15:19right here, right now, on this balcony
00:15:21that you could kill me?
00:15:23Not really.
00:15:25Actually, I can only think of eight.
00:15:31Hmm.
00:15:34Ah! Ah!
00:15:36Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:15:41Hey, is he okay?
00:15:43Yeah, he does it all the time.
00:15:46Thanks for letting us come, Uncle Bob.
00:15:48Oh, hey, look, I wanted you to come.
00:15:50I mean, I really like you two.
00:15:52As a matter of fact, you're my favorite niece and nephew.
00:15:55We're your only niece and nephew.
00:15:57You're kidding.
00:15:58You're kidding?
00:15:59Well, then you really are my favorite niece and nephew, then.
00:16:02Mom says you don't like kids.
00:16:04You know, your mother is very...
00:16:07Your mother is...
00:16:09nice, but she exaggerates.
00:16:12She probably says that because I don't have any children.
00:16:15She says you're probably sterile.
00:16:17Do you know what sterile means?
00:16:19It means you can't have sex.
00:16:21No, it doesn't.
00:16:22It does, too.
00:16:23No, it doesn't.
00:16:24It means you can't conceive.
00:16:26So you can have sex.
00:16:28Of course I can have sex.
00:16:30I have sex all the time.
00:16:32Just ask Anita.
00:16:34But you're not married to Anita.
00:16:37I gave her a ring once.
00:16:39I wanted to surprise her,
00:16:40so I hid it in her popcorn at the movie theaters.
00:16:43It was a good thing the guy next to us knew the Heimlich maneuver.
00:16:46What does conceive mean, Uncle Bob?
00:16:49Uh...
00:16:51Well, it's, uh...
00:16:53You know, when, like, a man and a lady,
00:16:55they swim in those squiggly things.
00:16:57They swim upstream, kind of like fish.
00:17:00And, uh...
00:17:03Megan's gonna explain the rest to you later, okay?
00:17:06So you guys have a real good night's sleep, all right?
00:17:09Good night.
00:17:10Good night, Uncle Bob.
00:17:12Good night.
00:17:14Okay, uh...
00:17:16It's cold.
00:17:20Uncle Bob's a pretty nice guy, don't you think?
00:17:22He hates us.
00:17:23Why?
00:17:25Guess that's what happens when you can't have sex anymore.
00:17:29Wow.
00:17:53Wow.
00:17:56Wow.
00:18:22Uncle Bob?
00:18:23Uncle Bob?
00:18:24The money I brought your coffee coffee you drink it, right? Oh
00:18:37Thanks, oh
00:18:54Can I ask you something why not we're related, huh?
00:19:06Why do you drink so much
00:19:10Well, uh, I don't actually drink that much it just appears that way I don't I don't swallow
00:19:20Why do you ask
00:19:23I was just curious. Oh curiosity killed the cat
00:19:36Makes me feel good
00:19:40Well, if it makes you feel good
00:19:42Why do you look so bad?
00:19:45Are you trying to lift my spirits, huh?
00:19:48tell her
00:19:50I'll tell you what
00:19:52Why don't you go downstairs and make yourself some breakfast and then
00:19:57I'm gonna come downstairs and I want to see what you made yourself. It's kind of like a game. All right
00:20:02I'll be right there
00:20:04You
00:20:19Well breakfast is served now, can I get you anything else that's fine
00:20:28well
00:20:30Good morning, sunshine. Good morning, dear. Uncle Bob. Look we have fruit for breakfast
00:20:36Anita, what are we out of cocoa puffs? Anita's taking us to the beach today. Yeah, we're discovering LA
00:20:42Never been there before. Well me either. I got close once but there's too much water
00:20:48When are we gonna meet Don the Dragon Wilson and Tommy Hart?
00:20:52Okay
00:20:53It'll be arranged by the time you get back from the beach
00:20:56All right, and I need I gotta go and just bring them by the office. I'm gonna do the business I needed to do
00:21:13So are you having a good time sweetheart good good
00:21:17So what's up with your uncle Bob? Oh
00:21:21your uncle Bob and I have been sweet on each other for a long time, but
00:21:26We don't live together because you know, we need our space
00:21:31Yeah, it's pretty rich, huh
00:21:33well
00:21:35Sweetheart, your uncle Bob has made a lot of money, but he has a problem. He has his big heart
00:21:42And he's made some actors into very big stars, but then they leave him so it breaks his heart and it hurts his pocketbook
00:21:50So that's why he drinks and stuff. Well, that's part of it. It's a Hollywood thing
00:21:55Hey there caught fish yet. No, but you should have seen the one that got away. I haven't I heard that fish story before
00:22:04Well, we're gonna see you in about 20 minutes, okay
00:22:25Oh
00:22:29Come on little drink the lady said no, how about you then? How about you have a little drink with us?
00:22:34I want to kiss you hunk of burning love
00:22:37Sweetheart, maybe this will improve your hearing
00:22:51Let's get up
00:22:55Oh
00:23:25Oh
00:23:52God what does he eat?
00:23:55Oh
00:24:05Hey boss, can I ask you a question go ahead, you know where goons live in LA I
00:24:14Give up Laguna
00:24:20You know Jake when your IQ reaches double digits
00:24:23I'm gonna give you a raise promise. Definitely. Yeah, you heard him
00:24:28We know
00:24:29Got a job for you Bob Ryan. You lost 10,000 on the Raiders
00:24:35He bet the Raiders somebody's got to
00:24:38Yeah, and my sister's son. I'm giving you your chance
00:24:42They'll be the chief collector on this job
00:24:45Impress me
00:24:48You won't be sorry young
00:24:53You
00:25:11John this is Bob. Yeah. Hey, you know what? I need $10,000
00:25:19What gives you the right to talk to me like that who got you your first series, huh?
00:25:23How about $7,000?
00:25:26Okay
00:25:28What about half? How about $5,000?
00:25:30John John
00:25:335,000
00:25:355,000 a day right? You got it. Uh-huh. 5,000 just for meals. Thanks for nothing. Bye
00:25:44Hi kids, how was the beach? Great. Where's Anita?
00:25:49Oh
00:25:51You represent Kevin Closter. Oh, I represent his cousin. It's a big client right on the verge of breaking out real big
00:25:58You should represent a lot of clowns uncle Bob. Well, they're really famous people
00:26:02I uh, you just can't recognize him under all the clown makeups. Mom said he used to be big-time
00:26:08used to be used to be well, you know before you're
00:26:13Before
00:26:15What before your mother started calling me a drunk she never used the word drunk no alcoholic was where she is
00:26:24Well
00:26:25Your mother always had a great way with words
00:26:28I'll have you know that I represent only the top clients in Hollywood just the creme de la creme the top
00:26:35What are you doing here? Oh, I'm sorry, man. I forgot the address for that gig
00:26:40The audition at Universal right there the big picture the big Schwarzenegger picture, huh?
00:26:44No, I mean the Jablonski birthday party in Oxnard
00:26:49No, I don't think so. I think you made a mistake
00:26:53Here don't make another mistake, here's the address it's Universal right next to the big tour
00:26:58I don't know. Do you think uncle Bob really knows a dragon? Has a dragon been to any birthday parties lately?
00:27:04What are you talking about?
00:27:06Think about it find out at lunch
00:27:08What happens after lunch? I'm going to the studios
00:27:27Okay, everybody okay, we try this again
00:27:57Look guys a movie lunch. It's a set a Hollywood set everything's fake you guys stay right here. I'm gonna arrange everything all right
00:28:05Hey, Bob. I didn't know they were using clowns in this movie. Come on. Give me a break all right
00:28:19Hey Billy
00:28:21What are you doing here? Hi? I'm fine. How are you? Good morning? I'm here to see Don
00:28:28Absolutely not he's in his trailer resting. This is a closed set you're not wanted here. Come on. I just need five minutes
00:28:34It's for my niece and nephew. They're from back east all right I
00:28:37Made him a promise don't make me break my promise. It's a closed set
00:28:43Did Don tell you who gave him his first start Bob you got him two lines on General Hospital big deal
00:28:48It was a big deal for him
00:28:50He was a kickboxer he couldn't get arrested as an actor
00:28:53And he said that he would return the favor at any time and now's the time okay, I need the favor
00:28:59It's a closed set
00:29:01Thanks, you're a pal Billy
00:29:04Where are they shooting that Tommy Hart picture stage 12 stage 12 Bob yeah, they won't let you in there either
00:29:11Well you can't see me no no it's not that he's just busy right now. He's taking his ninja power nap
00:29:17We'll come back later all right
00:29:20What about Tommy?
00:29:22Tommy stage 12 Western set he plays a cowboy
00:29:40Oh
00:30:06Client looks real good
00:30:10I
00:30:18Wouldn't ask you to do it for me, but it's for my brother's kids
00:30:27Cut it Brennan gosh now that's dying that was great
00:30:33Great job
00:30:35Tommy Tommy remember that Brian
00:30:39Yeah
00:30:41Hi buddy, how are you and this is his nephew Kevin I do it, man
00:30:54Can I get an autographed picture of me I mean can I get an autographed picture of myself or yourself for me
00:31:00Sure um I don't have any right now, but um all of us are gonna get the vertigo on Friday if you're interested
00:31:08I don't think you can make that we were gonna watch the reruns of Perry Mason. I'll be there
00:31:14Cool nice shoes
00:31:20All right, I gotta get going guys nice meeting y'all
00:31:30I'd say she was excited
00:31:32Yeah, well, what is this Tommy guy like oh, he's great
00:31:36He's an upcoming star because I really wasn't sure whether I should let her go or not
00:31:40Oh, don't worry kids these days know what to do should I have her bring anything I don't know an overnight bag would be good
00:31:50Megan yeah Frankie hi
00:31:54You hadn't worked in a while, and I said hey don't worry
00:31:57Commission when you have it when things are better look I was wondering are things bad because you know it would be nice if I
00:32:04Yeah
00:32:06Three pictures lots of money. Yeah, we'll work out the fine details later. Yeah, uh-huh okay. Bye
00:32:12Yeah
00:32:13I really good time today
00:32:16Really, okay, that's great. I'm so happy
00:32:20Sorry, I doubted you. That's okay. I'm used to it
00:32:28Kevin
00:32:30Yeah, I I know you're disappointed because she didn't meet Don Wilson today, but I
00:32:36promise you
00:32:37you're gonna get to meet him and
00:32:39when uncle Bob promises it's
00:32:42Almost as good as happening sometimes
00:32:48Sure uncle Bob
00:32:57I
00:32:59I
00:33:25Love the smell of money in the morning
00:33:28This is a great idea collecting the money before they even get up
00:33:36We're gonna make this nice and clean we're gonna get in get the 15 Geno's
00:33:40We're out of here. I thought it was 10
00:33:43fight for me you buffoon
00:33:46Let's go
00:33:58a
00:34:02Nice place, huh
00:34:04Who you Kevin I'm Bob's nephew
00:34:09Is he here no he's sleeping. I'll wake him up if you want don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We'll take care
00:34:18What's going on
00:34:21Nothing that concerns you kid
00:34:24Are you playing hurt my uncle?
00:34:26Well, you see that's kind of like up to him. Then it does concern me. Listen, I bought cookies. Okay
00:34:33licorice
00:34:34Dine cares. Listen, do me a favor cut the grass
00:34:53Oh
00:35:23Easy come on. We are no I am from the 60s. Relax. It's all right
00:35:26Oh
00:35:50Okay, boss
00:35:56I
00:36:11Can't
00:36:27I
00:36:32Will be back you little squirt and you fat man you're dead
00:36:42So one of those guys, uh
00:36:44I forgot to tip them last time they delivered a pizza in Los Angeles
00:36:48They get real pissed off at that kind of stuff. Um, let's get your sister and get the hell out of here
00:36:52Okay, did you hear you call me fat boy?
00:36:55Again
00:37:04We have to move out temporarily they're gonna spray for bugs it depends on how big the bugs are
00:37:13It's time to get in the car sweetheart
00:37:20Because he knows karate
00:37:24I
00:37:33Don't know maybe they mistook me for somebody else you said they delivered pizza well sort of I
00:37:40Kind of owe him money. How much?
00:37:44$10,000 expensive pizza gambling, isn't it? I bet the Raiders you bet the Raiders. Oh
00:37:52Would your mom say I had a gambling problem or something? No, she just said you were a loser
00:37:59great
00:38:00Your mother's got a wonderful vocabulary
00:38:02I'm sorry for getting you guys into this mess and everything
00:38:05I'm gonna go over to my friend's house and try to get this straightened out
00:38:08But if I can I'm gonna have to put you guys back on a plane to Michigan. It's getting too dangerous
00:38:12I'm not going home until I have my date with Tommy Hart and meeting the dragon
00:38:17I'm glad to see you guys have your priorities in order. I'm talking violence here
00:38:22I'm a ninja I can get you out of this mess. Uncle Bob
00:38:27I'm an agent
00:38:45Hi, Uncle Tony I
00:38:48I
00:38:50Take it this means you didn't get my money. I'm sorry. I'm
00:38:57Bob did this to you? No
00:39:00Not exactly
00:39:01Not by himself
00:39:03You see he he had a band of gypsies with them
00:39:08Gypsies, well, not exactly gypsies, but they were dressed like gypsies. Um, I think they were like professional wrestlers
00:39:15Bob has hired professional bodyguards. This doesn't make sense. If he has money to hire bodyguards
00:39:21He has money to pay me. Well, you know, he's an agent. Maybe they're his clients
00:39:26Maybe yeah
00:39:28Clowns professional wrestlers and could be
00:39:31Now you go back and get my money. Oh, yes, sir
00:39:35Guido, yes, sir. Impress me
00:39:39No mistakes this time uncle Tony no mistakes
00:39:43No mistakes
00:39:53Uncle technically this is not a mistake
00:40:01I'm hungry. I want pizza pizza. All right, there's a great place at vine in Melrose
00:40:07I want to go to Spago's
00:40:10How do you know about Spago's after all the celebs eat? I've been reading about it in all the magazines
00:40:15I mean, you're an agent. You should know about all that. I know all about Spago's. We're not going to Spago's
00:40:20Okay, they don't give out doggy bags
00:40:23Fun place like Disneyland or Universal Tour. All right. All right, but first we're gonna eat
00:40:29Mmm, how's your shrimp Louie? It's just shrimp and lettuce. What's the big deal?
00:40:36Why can't we go someplace where they have pizza
00:40:39Come on, you got a nice healthy lunch here. You got a baked potato a piece of fish and there's
00:40:46Green and yellow circle things. It's like ninja food. It's gonna make you strong and strong
00:40:50You know, you're not gonna get sick. You're not gonna get sick. You're not gonna get sick
00:40:53Green and yellow circle things. It's like ninja food. It's gonna make you strong like a bull
00:41:09Mmm-hmm. God, what'd we do break something?
00:41:24Oh
00:41:32Four five five hundred bucks right there
00:41:37Here's my 500 angel hold the money she looks trustworthy to me I'll break
00:41:44Uncle Bob, what are we doing here? It's kind of like going to an ATM machine. I need some fast cash
00:41:49I'm pretty good at pool. Okay, go eat your pizza
00:41:53Uncle Bob, I'm gonna be at the video game. Okay, great. Great
00:42:14That's money honey, don't you look at me funny keep a paycheck coming in and your life will be sunny be a doctor a
00:42:20Lawyer a butcher or a baker even a bum on the streets would rather be a moneymaker
00:42:26Go to work
00:42:51I
00:43:11Got a nice butt
00:43:13Thanks. I've been working out
00:43:15Talking to her you idiot. Gee that raised my self-esteem up a notch. I speak my mind. Obviously a man a few words
00:43:25Uncle Bob, can I have a few quarters for the video game?
00:43:30Thanks, hey blondie, why don't you bend over and make this shot? Oh, no, no, she can't she can't bend over
00:43:36She's got that back dough boy. Just make the shot
00:43:39dough boy
00:43:41dough boy
00:43:43Didn't your mother ever teach you any respect? Sorry, mr. Doughboy
00:43:59He drops the eight ball to $2,000 shot way I hate bank shots
00:44:05Kevin you want to give me a break here? You're a tad close. You got to relax and go mom
00:44:10You're telling me to relax like a $2,000 riding on this one shot. You gotta think like a ninja. Oh god
00:44:17You gotta be the ball
00:44:19What don't think of it as something out there
00:44:22But think of it as something inside you or a part of you
00:44:27Gotta be the ball
00:44:30Be gone be gone
00:44:38I am the ball. I am the ball
00:44:50I am the ball
00:44:59Ball.
00:45:05I am the ball.
00:45:09I'm the ball.
00:45:10I am the ball.
00:45:11I am the ball.
00:45:12I am the ball.
00:45:13I'm the cue.
00:45:22Come on, come on, come on.
00:45:30Hey.
00:45:32Oh.
00:45:35Hey.
00:45:38Hey.
00:45:41Hey.
00:45:43Hey.
00:45:45Hey.
00:45:46Hey.
00:45:47Hey.
00:45:48Hey.
00:45:52Hey.
00:45:55Hey.
00:45:59Hey.
00:46:04Oh.
00:46:05Oh.
00:46:16Hey, you all right?
00:46:17Hey.
00:46:18What?
00:46:20Oh.
00:46:28Great.
00:46:29Thanks, Angel.
00:46:30Hey, listen, you know, whoever your beautician is,
00:46:33don't give the number to my niece.
00:46:34Sorry.
00:46:47Why can't we go home and sleep?
00:46:48Because those tough guys are still watching the house.
00:46:51Just consider it a sleep out.
00:46:55I don't want to sleep on the beach.
00:46:58Come on, Megan, think of it as an adventure, okay?
00:47:01I've had enough adventure for one day, thank you very much.
00:47:05I'm having a great time, Uncle Bob.
00:47:07See, can't you be more like your brother?
00:47:11Hey, I've got to have my own sleeping bag.
00:47:13I only have two.
00:47:15Well, I'm not sleeping with my brother.
00:47:18I mean, that's illegal, at least it is in Michigan.
00:47:21It is, it is.
00:47:23What am I supposed to do, burrow myself in a sand dune to keep warm?
00:47:30God, you guys drive a hard bargain.
00:47:36Thanks for sticking up for me back there, Uncle Bob.
00:47:40I hardly did anything.
00:47:42No kidding.
00:47:45I mean, at least you tried.
00:47:48You know what comment hurt me the most?
00:47:52When that guy called you a doughboy?
00:47:55No, that too, though.
00:47:58It's when your mom said that I hated kids.
00:48:01You know,
00:48:04I know you guys think that the only reason why you came down here
00:48:07is that your mom and dad needed to get away
00:48:09and I was the only one available to take care of you.
00:48:12But that's simply not true.
00:48:14It isn't?
00:48:15No, that too, but
00:48:17I really wanted you to come down.
00:48:21Did you know that I save every picture
00:48:23that your dad sends to me of you guys?
00:48:26I mean, you winning these martial arts tournaments
00:48:29and you breaking all these young guys' hearts,
00:48:32both of you just growing up too fast.
00:48:36I save every single one.
00:48:38I really enjoy them.
00:48:41I... I really do.
00:48:45We're family, Uncle Bob.
00:48:47I mean, we should take care of each other.
00:48:50Yeah, and if you can't help your family,
00:48:52who can you help, right?
00:48:54Megan and I have been talking about it.
00:48:57We decided we want you to have the money Dad gave us.
00:49:01Oh, come on, Megan.
00:49:03I don't need your money.
00:49:05I don't need your money.
00:49:07I don't need your money.
00:49:09Oh, come on, absolutely not.
00:49:11Just forget about it.
00:49:13I mean, it's not $10,000 or anything,
00:49:15but with the money from the pool game,
00:49:17this is a start.
00:49:19Out of the question.
00:49:21I mean, look, I've been in jams before.
00:49:23I can get out of this one.
00:49:25Don't even think about that.
00:49:27Come on, come on, guys.
00:49:29Let's go to sleep, all right?
00:49:31Bathroom check.
00:49:33You?
00:49:34No.
00:49:35You?
00:49:36No.
00:49:37Let's go to sleep, all right?
00:49:39Okay, good night.
00:49:41Good night, Uncle Bob.
00:49:43I love you.
00:49:45I love you, too.
00:49:47I love you, too.
00:50:07I love you, too.
00:50:38I love you.
00:50:40I love you.
00:51:07I love you.
00:51:25Yeah, Joseph, just a little bit.
00:51:27Yeah, $10,000 by tonight.
00:51:29Joseph?
00:51:31Hello?
00:51:35Something wrong?
00:51:37Everything's wrong.
00:51:39You usually seem so in control.
00:51:42Oh, I'm sorry.
00:51:44I'm sorry.
00:51:46I'll get you to meet Tommy later on, all right?
00:51:48I'm seeing him tonight.
00:51:50No, you're not.
00:51:52I'm 15, okay?
00:51:54I know how to call a cab.
00:51:56Look, Megan, let me ask you something.
00:51:58What do you possibly see in this guy?
00:52:00He's cute.
00:52:02He's cute?
00:52:04You want to go out with him because he's cute?
00:52:05How about rich and famous, too?
00:52:07All right, so he's cute, he's rich, and he's famous.
00:52:10Other than that, he has nothing else going for him.
00:52:12He's a loser.
00:52:15All right, let's say you go out with him, all right?
00:52:17You do go out with him, and you go to this crowded restaurant.
00:52:19What are you going to do?
00:52:21Eat.
00:52:23And then?
00:52:25Talk.
00:52:27I mean, what do you usually do on your first dates?
00:52:29Don't you even think about that.
00:52:32Can I ask you something, Uncle Bob?
00:52:33Are you on medication?
00:52:37Just a couple of aspirin and a tad of Jack Daniels.
00:52:40Nothing serious.
00:52:42Look, Megan, I don't mean to hurt you.
00:52:48It's just that I'm not that used to being a parent.
00:52:51That's all.
00:52:53I'm responsible for you.
00:52:55And right now, that's the most important thing
00:52:58in the world to me.
00:53:00I mean, I may not be right,
00:53:01but I've got a pretty good hunch of what not to do.
00:53:05So far, you seem to be an expert on what we're not to do.
00:53:10One thing we can't do is hide on the beach all day.
00:53:21Hello, Anita?
00:53:23Bob, is that you?
00:53:25Yeah, yeah, it's me.
00:53:27It's me.
00:53:28Is that you?
00:53:30Yeah, yeah, it's me.
00:53:32Where are you?
00:53:34I'm at a phone booth, but that's not important.
00:53:36I need to ask you a big favor.
00:53:38What?
00:53:40Anita, are you all right?
00:53:42Well, I'm fine. Why do you ask?
00:53:44You sound different.
00:53:46Look, can I stay at your place for a few hours?
00:53:49Sure.
00:53:51I love you, Bobby.
00:53:53Anita, what's wrong?
00:53:55Nothing is wrong.
00:53:56All right, bye.
00:53:58Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.
00:54:01Oh, me too.
00:54:05So, listen, we're going to stick around here for a couple hours,
00:54:08and then we're going to go over to Lonnie's for some tea.
00:54:12Now where are we going?
00:54:14First, we've got to go to Anita's office.
00:54:16I think she's in trouble.
00:54:18I can help you, Uncle.
00:54:20Don't you think I know that?
00:54:22Do you think I'd be going over there if you weren't with me?
00:54:24Oh, great.
00:54:27Oh, boys, get off that car!
00:54:34Says who, man?
00:54:57I am Bill!
00:55:04That one behind you!
00:55:06The mean-looking puddle on the...
00:55:10Oh, God, how did he learn to do that?
00:55:16The big one!
00:55:20Yes!
00:55:22God, he's good.
00:55:27Hey, guys, you're taking up two parking spaces!
00:55:30Get out of here!
00:55:32Nobody ever told you it was rude to take up two spaces?
00:55:42Later, homies!
00:55:52Wait a second.
00:55:54I think they're in the conference room.
00:56:02What are we waiting for?
00:56:04Let's go to her house and get them.
00:56:06You don't know nothing.
00:56:08You see, that's why I'm in charge.
00:56:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:56:12I'm in charge.
00:56:14I'm in charge.
00:56:16I'm in charge.
00:56:18I'm in charge.
00:56:19You see, that's why I'm in charge.
00:56:21Yeah, you don't know nothing.
00:56:23We're gonna wait until they don't expect it,
00:56:25and then we're gonna surprise them.
00:56:27Great.
00:56:29I love surprises.
00:56:43It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase
00:56:45reach out and touch someone.
00:56:47Hang it up, dear.
00:56:49Hang it up, dear.
00:57:20I'm okay. I'm okay.
00:57:29Bob, what are you doing?
00:57:31Where are we going?
00:57:33We should call the police.
00:57:35Shut up.
00:57:37You need to get in your car and get the hell out of here now.
00:57:50Megan, let's get in the car, okay?
00:57:52What took you so long?
00:57:54I have been waiting here for half an hour
00:57:56and been picked up on by ten different people,
00:57:58which told them I didn't even know if they were a man or woman.
00:58:00It doesn't matter. It's Hollywood.
00:58:02They're kind of interchangeable, okay?
00:58:04Where's Anita?
00:58:06She's already gone home.
00:58:08Come on, I have a couple of life and death errands to run, all right?
00:58:10I'm bored.
00:58:12I'm not getting in this car unless you promise we can do something fun.
00:58:14All right, I'll take you bowling.
00:58:16It's two for one night at the Hollywood.
00:58:17What do you want to do?
00:58:19I want to go on the Universal tour.
00:58:21Yeah!
00:58:23We can't go to Universal right now, all right?
00:58:25It's out of the question.
00:58:27I'm not getting in the car.
00:58:29All right, I have an idea. Let's go to Universal.
00:58:48Oh, yeah
00:58:51Just a little time together
00:58:55To do the things we love
00:58:59Well, listen up
00:59:02Hey!
00:59:04Fire up your party engine
00:59:06Here it starts to rock
00:59:08It's a Universal weekend
00:59:12Now you can play
00:59:17It's a Universal weekend
00:59:23Now you can play
00:59:29It's a Universal weekend
00:59:35Now you can play
00:59:41It's a Universal weekend
00:59:47Now you can play
00:59:53It's a Universal weekend
00:59:59Now you can play
01:00:05It's a Universal weekend
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01:00:17It's a Universal weekend
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01:00:29It's a Universal weekend
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01:00:41It's a Universal weekend
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01:00:53It's a Universal weekend
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01:01:05It's a Universal weekend
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01:01:29It's a Universal weekend
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01:23:35It's a Universal weekend
01:23:41Now you can play
01:23:47It's a Universal weekend
01:23:53Now you can play
01:23:59It's a Universal weekend
01:24:05Now you can play
01:24:11It's a Universal weekend
01:24:17Now you can play
01:24:23It's a Universal weekend
01:24:29Now you can play
01:24:35It's a Universal weekend
01:24:41Now you can play
01:24:47It's a Universal weekend
01:24:53Now you can play
01:24:59It's a Universal weekend
01:25:05Now you can play
01:25:11It's a Universal weekend
01:25:17Now you can play
01:25:23It's a Universal weekend
01:25:29Now you can play
01:25:35It's a Universal weekend
01:25:41Now you can play
01:25:47It's a Universal weekend
01:25:53It's a weekend
01:25:59It's a weekend
01:26:05It's a weekend
01:26:11It's a weekend
01:26:17It's a weekend