• 3 months ago
The Three Badasses Who Want Me Full HD
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Transcript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:00:07What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:13Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:18If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:22Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:25What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:30And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:35All right, everybody get out!
00:00:38We got an important guest coming!
00:00:42You!
00:00:47You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:00:49I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:56You want to say that again?
00:01:01You know who's visiting today?
00:01:03Ellen freakin' Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:06Ellen Musk?
00:01:08Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:10Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:14Really?
00:01:16Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:27Coming to see you?
00:01:29All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:32If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:38Deal.
00:01:47Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:52You're fired.
00:02:11Prepare the limo.
00:02:13The park requires us immediately.
00:02:21Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:23Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:26Five.
00:02:27Four.
00:02:30Three.
00:02:33Two.
00:02:34One.
00:02:38Ellen, uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, uh, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:47How's my boss bitch?
00:02:49Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:51So how do you, like...
00:02:54She's my boss.
00:02:56Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:01No way.
00:03:05Well?
00:03:10No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:12No, I won't do it again.
00:03:16All right, that's enough.
00:03:18We're not tyrants here.
00:03:26Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:34You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36My runaway pride.
00:03:39Made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:43Who are you?
00:03:47Where is she?
00:03:48Atlanta.
00:03:49And you were right.
00:03:50It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:52My clever pride.
00:03:54I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:01Max, prep the jet.
00:04:03I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:09Dr. Wilson, Kevin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:11He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:12Atlanta?
00:04:13The game is afoot.
00:04:14I'm going.
00:04:15Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:18He can wait.
00:04:19I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:25Dr. Wilson!
00:04:32General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:35Kevin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:38Atlanta!
00:04:40Where is that?
00:04:42Whatever, prepare my war plate!
00:04:44Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:04:47This is war.
00:05:00I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:08Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:10This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:13That project is worth billions.
00:05:15He can finally take his company public.
00:05:17But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:28Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:32Well, three years ago...
00:05:35You saved me.
00:06:00He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:04I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:18So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:26But why work at the flea market?
00:06:28Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:32Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:47Where the hell are you?
00:06:49Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:52Get home, stat.
00:06:54It's a big day today.
00:06:57That was...
00:06:58My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:07:00She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:03But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:09You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
00:07:17Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:21Hi, I'm home.
00:07:23I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:26Finally, you're back.
00:07:27Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:31Divorce papers?
00:07:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:37God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:40We're ending that relationship.
00:07:42Just look at you.
00:07:43Dirt all over.
00:07:45You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:48You don't deserve my son.
00:07:49You're way below his league.
00:07:52I'm below his league?
00:07:54That's right.
00:07:55You are.
00:07:57Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:03And then his company's going public.
00:08:06That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:08But you?
00:08:10You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:14Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:17And you...
00:08:18You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:22Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:27Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:29But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:32You're delusional.
00:08:34You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:37How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:42Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:46And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:53You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:08:59Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:03Enough!
00:09:05Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:09But I am.
00:09:11Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:13Here's 500K.
00:09:15You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:19Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:22Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:25I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:30Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:33Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:36Fine. Here's another 200,000.
00:09:40500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:43She's done nothing.
00:09:45Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:48She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:51Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:55I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:09:59You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:04And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:08A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:12What a joke.
00:10:13If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:19And leave!
00:10:22You really think that Jared would have gotten that maple plaza bid without me?
00:10:27Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:29I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:33Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:38It's all my work!
00:10:42Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:50You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:10:55So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:10:59She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:03Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:07But don't regret it.
00:11:10Regret?
00:11:12Do I know who I am?
00:11:14Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:18I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:22Jared winning the bid on Maple Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:28Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:31It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:36You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:40Social stratum matters.
00:11:42Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:46And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:49And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:54Ha! You're delusional.
00:11:57Sign the papers and scram!
00:12:03You owe me.
00:12:05You dirty bitch. You're sipping me.
00:12:14You hit me.
00:12:18Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:28I don't need your penny money.
00:12:31Come on. We're finished.
00:12:34You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:37Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:40But I would like my ring back.
00:12:45Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:48But I would like my ring back.
00:12:59Have fun on your economy flight
00:13:03while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:08And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:16Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:20It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:23Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:26Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:29You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:33Congrats, Jared boo-boo.
00:13:36I'm getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:39Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret
00:13:42big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:46Bigger big-shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:49Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:13:53Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:13:57Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:14Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia,
00:14:17wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:20Vanderbilt?
00:14:22Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:25Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:28You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:32That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:55Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:00Who is he?
00:15:02That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:05He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto,
00:15:09CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:14And he's your fiancé.
00:15:17What? My fiancé?
00:15:20The one and only.
00:15:23So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:28have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:40That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:46What is she doing here?
00:15:50You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday,
00:15:54and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:15:57Divorced?
00:16:00That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:05Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:09So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:13Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:16:16She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:21How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:24Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:27Do you know who I am?
00:16:30They don't know who you are.
00:16:33You hide it well.
00:16:36X-Team, teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:39Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:45Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta,
00:16:48and then to New York, you forgot to bring the security team.
00:16:57Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:17:04Celsius Illuminati is out.
00:17:06Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:16A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:20No.
00:17:28Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:31You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett,
00:17:34old money like me.
00:17:36Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:39Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:40Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:43What an honor.
00:17:45I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:48That's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:50Congrats. You'll be next.
00:17:53But we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:17:56Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:17:59Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:02So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:06Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:08Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:12Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:17Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:20Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot,
00:18:24we can feast for generations.
00:18:29I'll do my best.
00:18:33Excuse me.
00:18:35Second gentleman.
00:18:37What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:41How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:44Me? A hobo?
00:18:46How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:49You sleep your way in?
00:18:51I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:54Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:18:57Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:03This is your ex-husband?
00:19:06What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:09Who the hell is this?
00:19:11You were cheating on me?
00:19:24Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:27That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs
00:19:30and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:32They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:46You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:51Get your hands off of her.
00:19:57My lady.
00:20:00My lady.
00:20:12My queen.
00:20:23It's...
00:20:25It's him!
00:20:27He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:30Who are these peasants?
00:20:32These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:37Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:40You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:44You fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:46That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:48You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:50His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:20:54This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:20:57Vanderbilt.
00:20:59The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:04who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:08That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:21:17Oh, goddammit.
00:21:19Stomachache now?
00:21:24Whatever. Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:40How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:43I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:48I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:53And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:21:57Not with me around.
00:21:59I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:04You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:09You're a fucking delusion, Elangela.
00:22:11We've had enough of your games.
00:22:13Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:17Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:20But don't worry. You got new money.
00:22:25I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:27Yes, my queen.
00:22:29You're all despicable.
00:22:32An insult to your family names.
00:22:37Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:40Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:43Cut off all business ties.
00:22:46And if you don't,
00:22:49I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:22:54I knew it.
00:22:55You're here to fuck with me.
00:22:57You can't fool anyone here.
00:22:59How much money did you spend on that get-up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:03You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:07You have nothing.
00:23:09And you will always be nothing.
00:23:12She's a gold digger.
00:23:14Gold digger?
00:23:15Gigolo.
00:23:17Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:20Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:22Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:25They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:28Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:30She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:33Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:35Security!
00:23:40Security!
00:23:42You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:45And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:48You!
00:23:50Insolent fools.
00:23:52Let me guess.
00:23:53You're that special guest?
00:23:56I don't know.
00:23:58Throw them out!
00:23:59And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:08Back down, Max.
00:24:13I got this.
00:24:15I got this.
00:24:41What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:43I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:45No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:48Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:24:59Angela!
00:25:01Don't hurt her.
00:25:02You bitch.
00:25:03I've always been sick of you.
00:25:04You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:06How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:25:08Boss?
00:25:09Did you say her boss?
00:25:11Miss Musk?
00:25:12That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:14That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:16My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:20Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:23Past the American Revolution?
00:25:25Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:27If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is.
00:25:30That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:32She's royalty.
00:25:33And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:37What the hell did you do?
00:25:40Oh, your majesty.
00:25:43Welcome to the United States.
00:25:46We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:25:49Yes, your highness.
00:25:51Is it queen or princess?
00:25:53It doesn't matter.
00:25:55My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:25:58We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:01What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:03Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:10What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:32She's a badass herself.
00:26:34He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:36He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:38You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:42Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:45No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:47I worked hard for everything.
00:26:49You worked for everything?
00:26:57So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
00:27:00And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:03I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:05I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
00:27:08And if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:18You were nothing before me.
00:27:21All your achievements, all your glory.
00:27:24That's all mine.
00:27:26Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:29I can take all of that away.
00:27:32Just like that.
00:27:34No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:36That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:40Oh, and this antique wedding ring.
00:27:44Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:46It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:27:56Oh, no.
00:27:58I gave you back the ring.
00:28:00I divorced a royal heiress.
00:28:02No, no, please.
00:28:04No, no, please take me back, baby.
00:28:07I still love you.
00:28:12Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:15No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:23God, these two again.
00:28:25Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:28President Eisenhower's the senator.
00:28:30After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:32each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:36the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:38Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:40Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:41I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:43Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:49And that there is, that is the legendary Boy Change's Dr. Wilson.
00:28:55He's Dr. House's protege.
00:28:57Dr. House?
00:28:58I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:00Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:02Yep, that's me.
00:29:03Son of James House.
00:29:05Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:07I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:11So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
00:29:17And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:22Hey, Ellen.
00:29:23Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:26Uh, they're all your fiancées.
00:29:29What?
00:29:31Fiancées?
00:29:35Fiancées?
00:29:36Plural?
00:29:38Watch it, nurse.
00:29:39I'm her fiancée.
00:29:40No, I'm her fiancée.
00:29:42You can both shut up.
00:29:43I'm her fiancée.
00:29:45It's you.
00:29:46It's me.
00:29:47Who the hell is he?
00:29:48I'm her fiancée.
00:29:49It's me.
00:29:50Who the hell is he?
00:29:51I'm Spider-Man.
00:29:53How are all three of these men my fiancée?
00:29:58Your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because
00:30:02you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:05She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:12Whatever.
00:30:13Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:17At your service.
00:30:19Me too.
00:30:25One down, two more to go.
00:30:27She's become a queen.
00:30:28Bishop to G4.
00:30:34Ow!
00:30:35Ow!
00:30:36Ow!
00:30:37What is that?
00:30:38The most German festive water in the Nile River.
00:30:41Ow!
00:30:42Ow!
00:30:43Ow!
00:30:44Ow!
00:30:45Ow!
00:30:46Ow!
00:30:49Rook to A8.
00:30:55Hello?
00:30:58I thought I was king.
00:31:00No, you wish.
00:31:01The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:31:05Oh, fine.
00:31:10Big Rook to four.
00:31:11It's right this second.
00:31:16I...
00:31:18I've been bankrupt!
00:31:20No!
00:31:27I've been bankrupt!
00:31:29No!
00:31:30I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:35Well, guess what?
00:31:36Game over.
00:31:37Alright, boys.
00:31:38Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:41Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:43I'm right with you.
00:31:45Wait for me.
00:31:46Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:31:57Angela.
00:32:00You already have three fiancés?
00:32:03You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:05I want compensation.
00:32:10You greedy SOB.
00:32:12Who the fuck is that?
00:32:13My ex-husband.
00:32:14Wait.
00:32:15You were married?
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:17And if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:21More for me.
00:32:22No, no.
00:32:23Of course not.
00:32:24Just...
00:32:25Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:27Don't steal my joke.
00:32:29I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:31All evidence of your past with him is gone.
00:32:34What?
00:32:35Is there something on my face?
00:32:36Uh, yeah.
00:32:37Murderous intent.
00:32:39Let's remarry.
00:32:41Let's remarry.
00:32:43Let's remarry.
00:32:45You still don't realize.
00:32:47I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:12Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:14We need to wreck right away.
00:33:16Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:20Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:24She should be okay now.
00:33:29Hey, you!
00:33:30Watch over her.
00:33:31I'll be right back.
00:33:34Hey, you!
00:33:35Watch over her.
00:33:36I'll be right back.
00:33:46You saved me.
00:33:50Fuck.
00:33:51I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:33:54Fuck.
00:33:55I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:33:57You've cheated on me.
00:33:59You've hit me.
00:34:00You've insulted me.
00:34:02And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:06I fucking hate you.
00:34:09Lady Lockhart.
00:34:11God, what now?
00:34:13Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:18but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:22How about us three?
00:34:23Yes, I'd like that scumbag.
00:34:25We won't turn on you.
00:34:27Yeah, no.
00:34:28You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:31This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:33We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:35No.
00:34:37No.
00:34:38We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:43I'll get you for this.
00:34:52I never should have listened to you.
00:34:54I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:00Fuck.
00:35:09So, what's the situation here?
00:35:12I don't want to marry you.
00:35:21I don't want to marry you.
00:35:25Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:35:29and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:32But what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:38Much longer.
00:35:42Angela, your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:35:51My lovely princess, how are you?
00:35:54Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:35:56The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:35:58Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:00I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:08Can't call his name, but anyway, congratulations.
00:36:12I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:18You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:36:21Let me do it.
00:36:23You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:26Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:29Mom!
00:36:31Alright, honey, that's it.
00:36:33Bye!
00:36:39So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:43Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:36:48Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:36:52All three of you.
00:36:54That seems greedy.
00:37:01But I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:06Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:10I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:15Well, okay, no murder, please. I was just kidding.
00:37:20You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:23Ooh, it's like the Bachelorette.
00:37:26I know. We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:31Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:37:34Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:39What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:42You'll see.
00:37:50Oh my god! Oh my god! Cockroaches!
00:37:54All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:37:57And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:02What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single woman,
00:38:07but screaming her head off, heiress?
00:38:11Uh, looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:15It's up to the final two.
00:38:40Oof! Oof!
00:38:45Crunchy.
00:38:47That is sick cold.
00:38:49Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:38:55There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:38:57God, no! No!
00:39:01Oh my god, save me!
00:39:02What, save you? You're going to save me!
00:39:05Ahh!
00:39:07I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:09These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:11They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:28Thank god you're here.
00:39:32Are you alright, honey?
00:39:34Angela!
00:39:37Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:39:41You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:43Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:39:46My daughter's a scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:39:54Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:39:58At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:40:00I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:04The cockroaches!
00:40:05They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:07There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:10I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:17I need a drink.
00:40:27Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:29Oh, why do you care?
00:40:32Are you trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela?
00:40:37You guys were right.
00:40:39I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:40:42You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:40:48He never even loved me.
00:40:50And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:40:53Um...
00:40:57Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:05You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in.
00:41:10What?
00:41:15You're number one here.
00:41:18You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:22Lies.
00:41:24You all just want something from me.
00:41:31Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:36But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:41:42I don't care what family you're from.
00:41:46I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:41:48I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:41:55I just need you.
00:41:59I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:42:13Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:42:18Angela, you're drunk.
00:42:21I'm an adult. Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:25Okay.
00:42:30But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:34Oh, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:42:43Come on.
00:42:46If this is what you want.
00:43:13Nine-inch penis.
00:43:15Morning to you too.
00:43:17You sure you were drunk last night? You weren't...
00:43:20A girl remembers when she's had a nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:25Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:28But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:31Because then they would...
00:43:33Say that you're being unfair?
00:43:35Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:38I won the first challenge.
00:43:40And according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:43:45Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:43:51You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:43:55No.
00:43:58Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:02I won't tell.
00:44:05But only on one condition.
00:44:08You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:11Fine.
00:44:15I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:19You never noticed me.
00:44:23Well, wait.
00:44:25You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:30It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:32I'm sorry.
00:44:34I hope no one sees you.
00:44:37It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:39She's still sleeping.
00:44:40Am I sleeping alone?
00:44:41Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:44:47Morning, gentlemen.
00:44:49Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:44:51Oh, don't mind him.
00:44:53What's up, guys?
00:44:55We're ready for the second challenge.
00:44:57No cockroaches this time.
00:44:59Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:01That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:03It's going to be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:04I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:06The second challenge is...
00:45:08The second challenge is...
00:45:10A date.
00:45:11Lame. I should have asked for something else.
00:45:13A date?
00:45:15That's it.
00:45:16What's the catch?
00:45:17No catch.
00:45:18Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:21As simple as that.
00:45:22I know what I want to do.
00:45:23Let's start with me first.
00:45:24Okay, who's up first?
00:45:25Then...
00:45:26Me.
00:45:27Save the best for last.
00:45:29Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:31Then it's decided.
00:45:35Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:38Too bad.
00:45:40You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:42I have nothing left.
00:45:52It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:45:57It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:01It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:08General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:10At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:12This is my lieutenant.
00:46:13He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:15Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:17He's so serious.
00:46:18But, hang on.
00:46:20Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:23Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:26so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:28Guns, like murder weapons?
00:46:30Yes.
00:46:31Murder weapons.
00:46:52You like my guns, babe?
00:46:53Pretty rock hard.
00:46:55Yeah.
00:46:56Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:46:58Lieutenant!
00:46:59Come close.
00:47:01Wait.
00:47:02You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:04He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:05Fighting back would be treason, ma'am.
00:47:07Treason?
00:47:08You guys are way too serious.
00:47:11Look, you rock hard bitch.
00:47:12I caught you.
00:47:13If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:16Lieutenant, pincer attack.
00:47:18Pincer attack!
00:47:31You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:35I will make you pay!
00:47:39You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:40We can just take him to the cops.
00:47:42Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:47:49Zoe's a bit violent.
00:47:51Some might call it being protective.
00:47:53Poor anger issues.
00:47:55What if they get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:47:59Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:02Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:04I don't know if I am.
00:48:08Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:13Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:19Hey.
00:48:20Cool ride.
00:48:22A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:25Impressive.
00:48:29Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:32Refreshing.
00:48:34I got cool mint, too.
00:48:36Or do you prefer Spearmint?
00:48:39What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:48:42Fruit flavored gum.
00:48:43Can't stand those.
00:48:45So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:48:47Let me show you.
00:48:55Dr. Wilson!
00:48:57Our VIP of VIPs!
00:48:59Right this way.
00:49:00VIP of VIPs?
00:49:02Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:04I forget who.
00:49:05You saved a lot of people.
00:49:07I do what I can.
00:49:10Oh, my gosh.
00:49:12It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:16Sandra Miller.
00:49:17What are you doing here?
00:49:18I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:21Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:23and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:29Hello, Ophelia.
00:49:30What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:32Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:34I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:49:37you couldn't even afford, even if you sold your organs.
00:49:41The auction begins.
00:49:43I'll deal with you later.
00:49:46Here, I'll just be by myself.
00:49:52Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:49:57Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:01Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:03Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:06For five million dollars.
00:50:10Excuse me.
00:50:12I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:14It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:17I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:19It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:21What are you doing?
00:50:22Just watch.
00:50:30That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:32Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:35She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:38You work at a flea market?
00:50:40Not this again.
00:50:41Cut the bullshit.
00:50:42That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:50:44Oh yeah?
00:50:45Here, you want it?
00:50:46For free.
00:50:47Ew!
00:50:48I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:50:52Well, that's too bad then,
00:50:54because you are the fraud.
00:50:57What are you talking about?
00:50:58And who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:00Throw them out!
00:51:02Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine,
00:51:05but we're professionals.
00:51:07Oh yeah?
00:51:08And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:11Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:51:14You two are just upset because you're too poor
00:51:17to afford our luxury items.
00:51:19Why is that so?
00:51:20When a so-called expert
00:51:22failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:24Dear Lord, this is real.
00:51:29It's authentic.
00:51:31It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:34Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:36Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:51:39It's a replica.
00:51:42They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:51:45So, you are the fraud.
00:51:49So you just went to the flea market
00:51:51so you can buy some fakes.
00:51:53And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:51:56One-fifty.
00:51:58Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:01Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:04Sandra.
00:52:05You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:08Arrest her!
00:52:10No, please!
00:52:11This is my time!
00:52:13Please!
00:52:14What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:16Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry
00:52:19for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:21Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:32I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:35Me too.
00:52:36May I have a kiss?
00:52:53Something wrong?
00:52:55Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:02Yep, you never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:15You owe a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:20I don't have any money.
00:53:22How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:24I guess you'll only pay up
00:53:29if I break your other leg.
00:53:31Stop!
00:53:36Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:39Mr. Buffett.
00:53:44This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:53:47That's right.
00:53:48Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:53:51I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:53:53I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:53:56Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:53:59It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:02Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:05And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart
00:54:09to put in a good word for us?
00:54:11Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:14She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:16Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:18We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:21I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago
00:54:24and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:26It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:29Sure.
00:54:31I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:33I just need...
00:54:34Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:37Once I take everything from these idiots
00:54:40I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:54:50I've given the contract to Jared Cooper just like you asked me to.
00:54:53Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:54:57Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:54:59I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:01That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:03It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:07And if he can't, then what?
00:55:09He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:10So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:55:14I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:16I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:24I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:28We should celebrate.
00:55:30You did?
00:55:31You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:33That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:37And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:40Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:55:45What?
00:55:46You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:55:49Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:55:51Jared, what are you doing?
00:55:53You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:55:57It's my decision, Mom.
00:55:59I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:01I'm telling my dad.
00:56:03Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:05If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:08But if not, you can scram.
00:56:11Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:14Teach him a lesson.
00:56:16Be a good girl, okay?
00:56:18Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:22Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:24We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:26So do as he says.
00:56:28But Dad!
00:56:36I'm sorry.
00:56:37I'll be your side piece.
00:56:39Very good.
00:56:41I'm happy you've come around.
00:56:42Now let's go celebrate.
00:56:45I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:56:50But that tongue action, though.
00:56:52Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:56:55Arlene, we are in public.
00:56:57That's true.
00:56:58Oh, stomachache.
00:57:00Again?
00:57:01I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:02Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:05Okay.
00:57:06Devin's late.
00:57:08Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:11This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:15It's her.
00:57:17She's alone.
00:57:18With no one to save her.
00:57:20You whore.
00:57:22You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:28Let me tell you.
00:57:30I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:36Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:57:38You can take this somewhere else.
00:57:40Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:57:43What?
00:57:44Why do I have to leave?
00:57:45She's the one starting shit.
00:57:47Because I have money and you don't.
00:57:49You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:57:51And my son just signed a $100 billion contract.
00:57:55He still got the contract?
00:57:57Hmm.
00:57:58Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:00Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have to sign it.
00:58:03Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:07Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:09Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:13Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:18You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:23My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:26$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:29$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:32$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:37Oh, oh, hey!
00:58:39Hey!
00:58:40Ow! Hey!
00:58:43You okay?
00:58:44Are you hurt?
00:58:49Weakling.
00:58:50You!
00:58:51You!
00:58:52Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:58:56And now you've got two more?
00:58:58What a whore.
00:58:59What a whore.
00:59:00Yeah.
00:59:01And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:04What if she has an STD?
00:59:06Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:10Let's go.
00:59:11We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:13Hang on.
00:59:15What do you want?
00:59:16I'll scream!
00:59:18I don't hit women.
00:59:19But I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:23But I never said I don't kill them.
00:59:26Oh, God.
00:59:27He is a murderer.
00:59:29What if he murders me?
00:59:30Not him.
00:59:31Definitely not him.
00:59:37We're not afraid of you.
00:59:39That's enough.
00:59:40This isn't a war zone.
00:59:41You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
00:59:46I was just messing with him.
00:59:48Was he, though?
00:59:49We're not afraid of you.
00:59:52Jared!
00:59:53You have to avenge us.
00:59:54Look at this slut.
00:59:55She's found two more boy toys.
00:59:57She's cheating on you.
00:59:58Don't get back with her.
00:59:59Oh, Mr. Cooper.
01:00:00It's you.
01:00:01I apologize for this scene.
01:00:02I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:07Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:09Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:11The potty crashes.
01:00:15You have any idea who that is?
01:00:17That's my wife.
01:00:18You saved that hangover from the real skank over there.
01:00:22That's right.
01:00:23No, you're playing.
01:00:24Shut up.
01:00:25She's cheating on you.
01:00:27I know your place.
01:00:28You're just a side piece, if I still want you, that is.
01:00:31Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:33This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:35You slap her for this whore?
01:00:37Mom!
01:00:38They really think they're something, huh?
01:00:40Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:00:45She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:00:48I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:00:52What?
01:00:53What?
01:00:55You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:04I'm sorry.
01:01:07This can't be.
01:01:09I made you a divorce.
01:01:14Go home.
01:01:15You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:23I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:26Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:30I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:33I didn't come here for you.
01:01:36I'm on a date.
01:01:38A date with two men at the same time?
01:01:41She really is a whore.
01:01:43Angela, please forgive me.
01:01:45I really do love you.
01:01:49Lady Lockhart is here.
01:01:53Lady Lockhart is here.
01:01:57We already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:00We're too old for that.
01:02:02They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:04Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:10Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:02:13We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:16What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:19Where were you?
01:02:20Stomach issues.
01:02:22Again?
01:02:23Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:25No.
01:02:27Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:31I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:35Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:02:39I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:02:41Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:02:43Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:02:45I'll prove it to you.
01:02:47You want a chance?
01:02:49Angela, no.
01:02:50You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:02:53Don't take him back.
01:02:55I'll give you two choices.
01:02:59I'll give you two choices.
01:03:03Me or the contract.
01:03:06You're kidding me.
01:03:07No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:10If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:14But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:03:18The choice is all yours.
01:03:20That's a tough choice.
01:03:22Do you think so?
01:03:23He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:27Either way, he benefits.
01:03:29Why can't I have both?
01:03:31You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:34Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:03:36I deserve the contract.
01:03:38Did you really?
01:03:43Look who's fashionably late now.
01:03:47Didn't save her at the pool.
01:03:49Wait, what are you talking about?
01:03:51I choose the contract.
01:03:54I knew it.
01:03:55You'll get what's coming to you.
01:03:58With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:02Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:06I will get you one day.
01:04:08Let me show you something.
01:04:18You saved me.
01:04:24You saved me.
01:04:26I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:32But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:04:38No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:04:40I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:04:45Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:04:49What? Me? Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people?
01:04:54No way.
01:04:55You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:04:59You're crazy.
01:05:01And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:07Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:10Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:14Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:18I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:20Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:22I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:25No, it's not your fault. They're just...
01:05:27I'm sorry.
01:05:28I'm sorry.
01:05:29I'm sorry.
01:05:30I'm sorry.
01:05:31I'm sorry.
01:05:32I'm sorry.
01:05:33I'm sorry.
01:05:34I'm sorry.
01:05:35No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:05:38You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:05:40Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:05:43Max, you know what to do.
01:05:59The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:01All business ties have been severed.
01:06:03We're bankrupt!
01:06:09How did you do that?
01:06:11Who are you?
01:06:12And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:16I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:20I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:24I am Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:28What did he say he was?
01:06:29That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:33You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:35Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:06:38See? You are number one in something.
01:06:40The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:06:43Forget Forbes' list.
01:06:45It's all about young money now.
01:06:47So, how about our date?
01:06:55I'm not letting him one-up me on this one.
01:06:58Let's play two.
01:07:03Come on.
01:07:12They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:15I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:18Yes! I'm rich!
01:07:21I think they will pay soon!
01:07:29What?
01:07:30Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:31The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:07:35Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:07:40No!
01:07:42I'm bankrupt!
01:07:45I need a little off guard.
01:07:46You tricked me!
01:07:52Oh, allow me.
01:07:56I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:07:58I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:04Well, cheers.
01:08:07Cheers.
01:08:16This looks good.
01:08:22Did you use my spices?
01:08:24I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:28You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:36I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:08:42Angela.
01:08:44Your future with me is going to be different.
01:08:50Come on.
01:08:52Upstairs.
01:08:58Come on.
01:09:12Bob.
01:09:14Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:18Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:21Angela.
01:09:23I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:26Ashley.
01:09:28I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:31That's right.
01:09:32I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:34How is all of this possible?
01:09:37I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:09:40Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:09:45I've had a crush on you since college.
01:09:48You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:09:52Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:09:57Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:05All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:13Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:17I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:20Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:22Angela!
01:10:245C girl. I like her.
01:10:38How is he?
01:10:39It's a rare poison. Made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:10:45Can it be cured?
01:10:46I actually think I know that poison.
01:10:48It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:10:52Household salt.
01:11:01I like her.
01:11:04There you go.
01:11:06Time is up.
01:11:09Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:18I like her.
01:11:19I like her.
01:11:21We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:23So, that's how I... well, we all met.
01:11:29I barely remember.
01:11:30I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:33Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:11:38You wouldn't have known.
01:11:39I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:11:41That makes you even better.
01:11:43Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:11:46Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:11:48Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:11:58How can that be?
01:12:00Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:07Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:11Bankrupt?
01:12:12The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:12:16Well then, get out of here!
01:12:19You can't do this to me!
01:12:23Jared!
01:12:24Mom, it's me.
01:12:25What happened?
01:12:27Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:30Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:32You should get back with your wife.
01:12:34We're bankrupt.
01:12:35What?
01:12:40Jared Cooper.
01:12:42We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:12:46No one is going to save you now.
01:12:49Mom!
01:12:53What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:00Who will you pick?
01:13:03I...
01:13:08I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:10Fried chicken?
01:13:11Fried chicken?
01:13:12Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:14Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:17Sucking up last minute!
01:13:19At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:22Hey, stop. Stop.
01:13:25Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:13:28I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:31I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:13:34You know what I mean.
01:13:36Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:13:39which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:13:43Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:13:47Cole, the general?
01:13:51Or Devin, the CEO?
01:13:57Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:01Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:04But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:07made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:09and give it to our winner.
01:14:12Angela?
01:14:15Angela?
01:14:16Oh, I...
01:14:20I need more time to think.
01:14:26While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:29why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:32Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:35Let's start with Cole.
01:14:37Cole?
01:14:41There's not much to say.
01:14:43Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:14:45who has huge biceps,
01:14:47a massive chest,
01:14:50who would protect their wife?
01:14:54Okay, thank you.
01:14:56Uh, Shane?
01:14:59Muscles, money,
01:15:02they won't get you so far.
01:15:04But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:06that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:15:09if you know what I mean.
01:15:13Okay, I think we do.
01:15:15And Devin?
01:15:18That was quite disgusting.
01:15:22I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:24I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:27a lot of choices to make.
01:15:29And she's my queen.
01:15:31I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:33And one more thing.
01:15:35What kind of a doctor
01:15:37brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:15:40That's a good point.
01:15:41It's bad for her heart.
01:15:44And then you, Wong.
01:15:46You know what they say about military men.
01:15:49They beat their wives.
01:15:53No!
01:15:55Stand up!
01:15:58Hey, keep quiet.
01:16:01Whoa, break it up!
01:16:03Hey, break it up!
01:16:09Cut to commercial!
01:16:11Cut to commercial!
01:16:12Angela's been kidnapped!
01:16:14It was Jerry Cooper!
01:16:16That fucker!
01:16:18We have to find her.
01:16:19What, how?
01:16:20Her ring.
01:16:21Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism
01:16:23on her ring just in case.
01:16:25Well, let's go then!
01:16:27My fiancé!
01:16:28My fiancé!
01:16:35Jared.
01:16:39What am I doing here?
01:16:42You destroyed me.
01:16:45You took everything.
01:16:48What?
01:16:49I have nothing left.
01:16:51It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:16:54I wasn't greedy.
01:16:56I had sex with my wife.
01:16:58What?
01:17:00Hey!
01:17:02Angela, come here!
01:17:07You're too late!
01:17:08I drugged her.
01:17:09She'll be dead soon unless...
01:17:10Not yet?
01:17:11Have you forgotten who I am?
01:17:14He really does have everything he was supposed to.
01:17:16Everything except for fruit.
01:17:17Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:17:18Get it already!
01:17:19Just save my balls!
01:17:22Here you go.
01:17:28You're all good now.
01:17:30Oh, thank God.
01:17:32But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:17:34What?
01:17:35What are you going to do to me?
01:17:37Hey, stop!
01:17:38No, don't!
01:17:40Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:17:44No!
01:17:47Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:17:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:17:57So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:17:59You invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:18:02The Prince of Bhutan?
01:18:05And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:18:13Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:18:18We're down to the wire.
01:18:19Literally.
01:18:20The wedding day.
01:18:21But who's the groom?
01:18:34Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:18:39But who's the groom?
01:18:44Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:18:47Any input from the parents?
01:18:49Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:18:53This is exciting.
01:18:55Who should my daughter pick?
01:18:57Let me think.
01:19:02I like the doctor.
01:19:04He's cute.
01:19:07But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:19:11And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:19:14Isn't that right, Devon?
01:19:16Angela.
01:19:23You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:19:28And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:19:33But this was a really hard decision.
01:19:36And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:19:41And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:19:49I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:19:56Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:20:00I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:20:02They've all proven their undying love.
01:20:05So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:20:08Literally.
01:20:11Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:20:22Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:20:31And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:20:37The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:20:44Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:20:48It has.
01:20:50May the best man win.
01:20:52May the best man win.
01:20:54Drum roll, please.
01:21:01Never gonna give you up.
01:21:03Never gonna let you down.
01:21:05Never gonna run around and desert you.
01:21:09Seriously, Ricky?
01:21:18I choose...
01:21:21I choose...
01:21:28I need a power with a strong man, and I really feel like you can protect me.
01:21:34Who could resist those guns?
01:21:38Would it interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:21:41Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:21:46I choose...
01:21:50I choose...
01:21:56Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you.
01:22:00You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:22:02Yeah.
01:22:05It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:22:08Ellen, be my new queen. I hope we can go together.
01:22:11Thanks, baby.
01:22:21It's always been you.
01:22:31I'll always love you.
01:22:35Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:22:38Ellen, Ellen, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:22:40Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:22:42I eat fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:50I eat fruit-flavored gum.

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