Beautiful Wedding (2024) Full HD
In the aftermath of Beautiful Disaster, Abby and Travis wake after a crazy night in Vegas as accidental newlyweds! With the mob on their heels, they flee to Mexico for a wild, weird honeymoon—but are they in for another disaster?
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30This is the story of a couple madly in love, so mad they drove each other crazy.
00:00:44Oh, fuck you, Travis Maddox!
00:00:46Fuck you!
00:00:48You know, for someone who claims they're not a toxic male, you don't do a very good job.
00:00:52Oh, man! Another ten-point loss for Travis and Abby's stupid married contest.
00:00:57Oh, don't worry. You lost that contest a very long time ago.
00:01:01Oh, really? Did you give yourself a ten-point reduction when you ran with your titties out on a public beach?
00:01:06Or, or, how about this morning?
00:01:08Was your boyfriend surprised to see the carpets match the drapes?
00:01:11Silencio!
00:01:16You gonna let Mother Teresa push you around like that?
00:01:18Por favor. Let's start from the beginning.
00:01:21Tell me how you fell in love.
00:01:24Well, it all started at the circle.
00:01:29There's this underground fight club I'm pretty big deal about.
00:01:32Oh, the ego on you.
00:01:35From the moment I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
00:01:39Which was a mistake, because I was fighting somebody.
00:01:42Then I caught her insta-stalking me, which was creepy, if she wasn't so adorable.
00:01:47I was not insta-stalking.
00:01:50Okay, maybe I was, but he was all I could think about.
00:01:54Then we went on this really romantic date, and, uh, I knew she was the one.
00:01:59Yeah, but I thought he was a total player.
00:02:02He had a drawer full of sex toys in condoms.
00:02:05So I made a bet with her.
00:02:07And if I won, she'd have to be my roommate for a month.
00:02:10Platonically.
00:02:12I lost the bet.
00:02:14And yeah, he was charming, but crazy.
00:02:17I didn't want to date crazy.
00:02:19I wanted a nice, normal guy like Parker Hayes.
00:02:23Oh, God!
00:02:25Who he terrorized.
00:02:26Why are you bringing that up?
00:02:27Because that's what happened.
00:02:28Okay, Miss Honesty, why don't we talk about your morning flogging of the bishop?
00:02:32Bishop Gomez?
00:02:33No, it's a euphemism. She was giving me a handjob.
00:02:35This is not a confession.
00:02:36He's a priest!
00:02:37And you're an asshole!
00:02:39Anyhow, against my better judgment, I fell madly in love with him.
00:02:43He even took me home to meet his brothers.
00:02:46Everything was going great.
00:02:47I get abducted by this Vegas gangster, Benny,
00:02:49because I happen to be very good at poker.
00:02:52And then I saved her.
00:02:53And then I saved him.
00:02:56And then we found her stolen money, ran away from the bad guys,
00:02:59and lived happily ever after.
00:03:01Except we're not happily.
00:03:03I mean, happy.
00:03:04Which is why we're here.
00:03:06Okay, um, why don't we start at happily ever after?
00:03:11Was that your wedding night?
00:03:14That's a little unclear.
00:03:16Yeah, we were fucked up.
00:03:18Okay, how about we start six days ago, when we woke up?
00:03:21That might be helpful.
00:03:23Okay.
00:03:42I never want to leave this bed, bitch.
00:03:44I love you.
00:03:46And what can I say?
00:03:50Oh, baby.
00:03:54Yeah, baby.
00:03:55What's up?
00:03:56I know what you want, baby.
00:03:58I know what you want.
00:03:59You want the Magic Maddox thingies, don't you?
00:04:03Oh, tickle, tickle.
00:04:11You know I'm here.
00:04:14Mare has brown eyes.
00:04:16What are you guys doing?
00:04:18Nothing.
00:04:20Where's Mare?
00:04:22Mare?
00:04:23Yeah.
00:04:24Where is Mare?
00:04:25I don't know.
00:04:26Mare.
00:04:27Pumpkin!
00:04:28Where are you?
00:04:29What the fuck happened last night?
00:04:31What the hell happened last night?
00:04:33I don't know, I don't know.
00:04:35Where did all this money come from?
00:04:37Benny.
00:04:38No, this is Benny's money right here.
00:04:41I'm confused.
00:04:43Oh, I think I went gambling last night.
00:04:45Oh, my God, what is going on?
00:04:49Oh, God.
00:04:51They were on TV.
00:04:52Oh, my God.
00:04:54I guess you won it.
00:04:56Good work.
00:04:57Lucky 13.
00:04:58Oh, there you go.
00:04:59I have no memory of that.
00:05:01I know I remember that.
00:05:02I wonder if I missed it.
00:05:03Pumpkin, you took care of me.
00:05:06Yes, because I love you.
00:05:09Oh, baby.
00:05:10Yeah.
00:05:12I fingered Travis.
00:05:13What?
00:05:14What?
00:05:15What?
00:05:17What?
00:05:19That's not real.
00:05:22I wouldn't do that.
00:05:23It looks pretty real.
00:05:28Oh, shit.
00:05:29Guys, look at the screen.
00:05:32That's not real.
00:05:33That's just us goofing around.
00:05:35That's fine.
00:05:36Right?
00:05:38Oh, shit.
00:05:41Oh, my God.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Okay, Abby.
00:05:44It's okay.
00:05:45Look at me.
00:05:46Oh, my God.
00:05:47This probably isn't an ideal way to do this,
00:05:49but I love you.
00:05:50I really do love you,
00:05:51and I wish that my family was here to see you,
00:05:53and me, like this.
00:05:54I love you.
00:05:55I love you.
00:06:07It's not what we needed.
00:06:09Hey, listen.
00:06:10On the bright side,
00:06:11I thought that speech was very romantic.
00:06:21Hello?
00:06:22Hi, this is the front desk.
00:06:23Let me remind you,
00:06:24it was an hour ago,
00:06:25so there's going to be a surcharge
00:06:27of about $180,000,
00:06:30you fucking ass clowns.
00:06:33Wait, is that Benny?
00:06:34Benny?
00:06:35Benny.
00:06:36Benny.
00:06:37No, no, no, I got this.
00:06:38No, I got this, Benny.
00:06:40What is it with your generation
00:06:41and the utter lack of manners?
00:06:43There's no good morning.
00:06:44How's your day?
00:06:45Look, I know all about the con
00:06:46that you and my dad and Jesse
00:06:48tried to screw me over with, okay?
00:06:50Yeah, that's ancient history.
00:06:52This is about Travis assuming your debt
00:06:55by fighting against Chernobyl.
00:06:57Money that I did not get back.
00:06:59I'm hanging up on you.
00:07:00Well, I can see who wears the balls
00:07:03in this relationship.
00:07:05I want to see the two of you in my office
00:07:07in an hour,
00:07:08and don't you even think of skipping town.
00:07:11Bye-bye.
00:07:12At least let me...
00:07:14Come on, cool, let's go.
00:07:16Don't fucking look at me like that.
00:07:17Let's go.
00:07:18Calm down.
00:07:20He's bluffing.
00:07:21Yeah.
00:07:33Gun!
00:07:36Get him, get him!
00:07:37Get him, get him!
00:07:38Get him, baby, get him!
00:07:43Good job, baby.
00:07:44No!
00:07:45Get in there!
00:07:46I'm proud of you.
00:07:47You can kick my cousin.
00:07:48Come here!
00:07:50He's down, it's okay.
00:07:51You need something to cool down with.
00:07:53Oh, God.
00:07:54Oh, oh, my God.
00:07:55No, no, I'm crying.
00:07:56Yeah.
00:07:57Oh, yeah.
00:07:58You like that?
00:07:59He's guilty.
00:08:00Okay, your turn's up.
00:08:02There you go.
00:08:03Nice.
00:08:04Hold on, we're on the clock.
00:08:05Hold on.
00:08:06Guys!
00:08:08Oops.
00:08:10Hello?
00:08:13Anyone home?
00:08:14Jerry?
00:08:15Hands up!
00:08:19Jerry won't be joining us.
00:08:21Stupid son of a bitch did that keto thing
00:08:23and is now pissing kidney stones the size of Lima beans.
00:08:26Why not?
00:08:27Huh?
00:08:28You are?
00:08:29Chief Warrant Officer Delroy Murphy,
00:08:31but my friends and enemies call me Buzz.
00:08:37I'm Buzz.
00:08:40Lady Hawk and I will be flying you down to Mexico.
00:08:43That thing can't fly to Mexico.
00:08:45Don't tell me that!
00:08:46That thing can't fly to Mexico.
00:08:47Don't tell me my business, sweet peaches!
00:08:49Lady Hawk has been retrofitted and modified!
00:08:53The Millennium fucking Falcon.
00:08:55Star Wars.
00:08:59I'll take you down to Mexico.
00:09:01No passports, no questions.
00:09:04The whole enchilada.
00:09:07Ten grand.
00:09:08Wow, that's pretty...
00:09:09We'll take it.
00:09:11What, like we have a choice?
00:09:14Here.
00:09:16Here's five K now,
00:09:17and then I'll give you the rest when we make it there in one piece.
00:09:20I like your style.
00:09:21Okay, what about getting back?
00:09:22That's not my problem, slutty.
00:09:28Okay, you guys have fun with Lando Calrissian and his mom.
00:09:43Rocker!
00:09:44Whoa!
00:09:45Whoa!
00:09:46This is so cool!
00:09:47Wireless headsets!
00:09:48Hey, Buzz, you got Spotify on this?
00:09:49What a mess!
00:09:50What?
00:09:51I'm going to be really honest right now.
00:09:52This whole Vegas gangster combined with fleeing to Mexico got me really on edge.
00:09:53So I'm assuming that no one has any Xanax or alcohol, so I'm going to need you.
00:09:54Open.
00:09:55Open.
00:09:56Open.
00:09:57Open.
00:09:58Open.
00:09:59Open.
00:10:00Open.
00:10:01Open.
00:10:02Open.
00:10:03Open.
00:10:04Open.
00:10:05Open.
00:10:06Open.
00:10:07Open.
00:10:08Open.
00:10:09Open.
00:10:10Open.
00:10:11Open.
00:10:13Follow me.
00:10:14Stirring him.
00:10:15To where the fuck that thing is and send me into a dopamine coma.
00:10:20Okay.
00:10:22Hello, mile high club.
00:10:24So fun.
00:10:25Beep beep.
00:10:26They're going to have so much fun.
00:10:28This is fun.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:30This is fun.
00:10:37$138,798.
00:10:40Damn!
00:10:42What you doing?
00:10:44I am texting Sancho.
00:10:46Who's Sancho?
00:10:48He is the concierge at a luxury villa
00:10:50in Gatito, Mexico that I just booked.
00:10:52Sounds out of our price range.
00:10:54You just said that we have $138,000.
00:10:56Yeah, but I...
00:10:58And it's my honeymoon.
00:11:00Well, sure.
00:11:02It's my honeymoon.
00:11:04Hey, Buzz? Yeah?
00:11:06We're going to Gatito, Mexico.
00:11:08Happy wife, happy wife.
00:11:10Oh, yeah.
00:11:16Happy wife, happy life.
00:11:20Oh, come on.
00:11:22What?
00:11:24You can't tell me that you're not freaking out about this.
00:11:30Travis, we're married.
00:11:32That means that you're stuck with me forever.
00:11:34Well, I have had
00:11:36some reservations,
00:11:38like the fact that you're beautiful
00:11:40and smart.
00:11:42You can make us a fortune of money in less than an hour,
00:11:44but I will never, ever
00:11:46find anyone like you.
00:11:48I love you so much.
00:12:06I love you.
00:12:12Rise and shine, sneaky hands.
00:12:14We have arrived at your destination,
00:12:16Flamingo.
00:12:20Open the door, get some air.
00:12:22Take in the view.
00:12:24Don't jump.
00:12:26Hey.
00:12:34The plane, the plane!
00:12:44If you get into trouble,
00:12:46you know where to find me.
00:12:48I also do hostage and rescue situations.
00:12:50Thanks.
00:12:52Well, you're a man of your word, Buzz, so...
00:12:54Here you go.
00:12:56Thank you.
00:13:00Hey, honey.
00:13:02I think it's this way.
00:13:10My
00:13:12name is
00:13:14Sancho,
00:13:16and I want to welcome you
00:13:18to Casa Suave.
00:13:20Arriba!
00:13:22Arriba y arriba y arriba!
00:13:24Hola,
00:13:26señor y señora Maddox.
00:13:28Gracias.
00:13:30Y los mejores amigos, señor
00:13:32Chapley y señoritas
00:13:34Estados Unidos.
00:13:36No, America.
00:13:38Mi nombre es America.
00:13:40America! Home of the brave!
00:13:42Flores!
00:13:44Hola.
00:13:46Okay, okay, okay.
00:13:48So much to do in so little time.
00:13:52Don't touch me.
00:14:08Okay.
00:14:10Welcome. Bienvenidos.
00:14:12This is
00:14:14the room of living.
00:14:16Here we have
00:14:18everything. If you have the clothes,
00:14:20I will give you clothes.
00:14:22Do you have ESPN? The Sacramento
00:14:24Kings are in the NBA finals tonight, and I've waited
00:14:26my whole life for this. ESPN? Yes!
00:14:28Yes! SUV!
00:14:30DUJ! We have
00:14:32everything.
00:14:34Right, but do you have
00:14:36ESPN?
00:14:38I make dreams come true!
00:14:44Look, my friend Blondie.
00:14:46You don't worry.
00:14:48We have it. We have it.
00:14:50Come on. Come, come,
00:14:52come with me. Come, come,
00:14:54come, come, come.
00:14:56Come, come, come, come.
00:14:58Señor Chapley
00:15:00y señoritas Estados Unidos.
00:15:02That's not my name.
00:15:04Come, come, come. Un momento.
00:15:06Oh, he said away.
00:15:08Yeah, that's not happening.
00:15:10Senora Maddox?
00:15:12Who says I'm taking Senora Maddox?
00:15:14I like my name.
00:15:16Abby Abernathy is a great name.
00:15:18It has a really good flow to it.
00:15:20Oh, but Travis Abernathy?
00:15:22You could be trendsetting.
00:15:24You want to castrate me, too?
00:15:26No.
00:15:28Hey, wait! What?
00:15:30You know, it's
00:15:32just crossed the threshold.
00:15:34Oh!
00:15:36It's bad luck, you know.
00:15:38You know, we Maddoxes have our own form of this
00:15:40tradition. Really?
00:15:42Oh!
00:15:44This isn't too barbaric.
00:15:46Corny.
00:15:48Oh, my God. This is so cute.
00:15:50Look, look, look. It has our initials.
00:15:52Wait, hold on. I want to get a photo.
00:15:54No, I want you to hold me
00:15:56for the photo.
00:15:58Lift me up.
00:16:00Okay.
00:16:02Okay. Now get one of me on the bed.
00:16:08No, actually, will you hold it lower?
00:16:10And then will you flip it?
00:16:12I like it, yeah. Okay, will you do one more flip
00:16:14the other way? Got it. I got it.
00:16:16Got it? Okay, do you want one on the bed?
00:16:18No.
00:16:20No, but it was so cute
00:16:22with our initials on it.
00:16:24T and A. It stands for titty and ass
00:16:26because you got the best.
00:16:28You were such a dandy.
00:16:30Aw.
00:16:32Ooga.
00:16:34Ooga.
00:16:36Ooga? Ooga hate this pillow.
00:16:38Does Ooga want to consummate this marriage?
00:16:40Ooga want to fuck.
00:16:42Ooga.
00:16:44Ooga.
00:16:58Adios.
00:17:00No, thank you.
00:17:02No, gracias.
00:17:04Thank you.
00:17:06No, no, no.
00:17:08I don't know about you,
00:17:10but hearing a traditional Mexican song
00:17:12about a cockroach really gets me in the mood.
00:17:14Here.
00:17:16How about this?
00:17:18Thank you. Much better.
00:17:20Where were we?
00:17:22Come here.
00:17:30Condoms?
00:17:32Shit.
00:17:35Is this the only protection
00:17:37we have?
00:17:39I didn't bring any. Did you?
00:17:41No.
00:17:43Wait a minute.
00:17:45We don't need protection. We're married.
00:17:47Easy, Dracula.
00:17:49I'm too young to be married,
00:17:51let alone have a kid.
00:17:55We can pull out.
00:17:57No.
00:17:59I have complete control over my seminal fluid emission.
00:18:01That's a cliche that's caused, like,
00:18:03a lot of pregnancies.
00:18:07We could do other things.
00:18:09Other things like...
00:18:13this.
00:18:17That's interesting.
00:18:19I was thinking other things like...
00:18:23this.
00:18:25Ooh.
00:18:27That's interesting.
00:18:29Yeah.
00:18:31This is good.
00:18:33This is better, actually.
00:18:35This is fun.
00:18:37This is fun.
00:18:39I'm glad we're doing this.
00:18:41I'm glad we're doing this.
00:18:43We should really do it more often.
00:18:45I agree. No, this is great.
00:18:47Those are my balls.
00:18:49It's cool.
00:18:51A little faster?
00:18:53Yeah, let's go really fast right now.
00:18:55Let's kick this up a notch.
00:18:57Are you satisfied?
00:18:59No.
00:19:01Come here.
00:19:05Get them off.
00:19:07Get them off.
00:19:11You're gonna be safe, right?
00:19:13Yeah.
00:19:15You're not gonna get a drop.
00:19:17Good comment.
00:19:19Got it?
00:19:21Mm-hmm.
00:19:23Just an inch.
00:19:25An inch.
00:19:27Just an inch.
00:19:33Yeah.
00:19:35It's a nice inch.
00:19:37Maybe like a little...
00:19:39Another inch?
00:19:41A little bit more. Like another inch.
00:19:43Ooh.
00:19:45Another inch.
00:19:47Yeah, but...
00:19:49maybe like a...
00:19:51You're gonna have to be more clear.
00:19:53I just...
00:19:55Ooh.
00:19:57Oh.
00:19:59Whoa.
00:20:01Now that's in.
00:20:03That feels way better without the rubber.
00:20:05Yeah, like...
00:20:07Okay.
00:20:09Oh.
00:20:11Hey.
00:20:13You're blocking my escape hatch.
00:20:15Well, I know.
00:20:17But so am I. That's why this is...
00:20:19a problem.
00:20:21Goddamn it!
00:20:23Ah!
00:20:25Go get me a condom, like, now!
00:20:27Where? It's not like there's a CVS across the street.
00:20:29I don't know. Shuffley.
00:20:31Shuffley must have condoms.
00:20:33Okay, fine. I'm going.
00:20:41Uh, hola.
00:20:43Uh, no, no. Don't touch the pillow.
00:20:45Ah.
00:20:51Hey, Travis.
00:20:53You got any condoms on you?
00:20:55Because I...
00:20:57Because I ran out.
00:21:03Oh.
00:21:15Buenas noches, señor Maddox.
00:21:17Buenas noches.
00:21:19You look like a man in love.
00:21:21Thank you.
00:21:23A man's man in love.
00:21:25Thanks.
00:21:27Where's my wife?
00:21:29She's ready.
00:21:33Ta-da!
00:21:35Wow. You look amazing.
00:21:37Thank you.
00:21:39So do you.
00:21:45Por favor.
00:21:53Wow.
00:21:55Thank you.
00:22:01Si.
00:22:03There you go. There you go.
00:22:05Very good. Very good.
00:22:07Now, Pino
00:22:09has prepared a traditional
00:22:11seven-course meal
00:22:13for newlyweds especially.
00:22:15Thank you.
00:22:17Okay. Enjoy.
00:22:21Pino.
00:22:23Well,
00:22:25here's to us
00:22:27and happily ever after.
00:22:29I love you, pigeon.
00:22:31I love you, too.
00:22:37So I, uh, I made this.
00:22:39I didn't know we were doing gifts.
00:22:41Yeah.
00:22:43It's just a little something I made on the flight
00:22:45while you were sleeping.
00:22:47Travis, I love you so much.
00:22:49I love you, too.
00:22:51What is it?
00:22:53It's a pro-con list
00:22:55to see if we should stay married or...
00:22:57Or...
00:22:59Or we get a quick annulment.
00:23:01Oopsies. What happened?
00:23:03Why is it so decorated?
00:23:05I thought that maybe if you saw how much effort
00:23:07I put into making it pretty,
00:23:09I don't like it.
00:23:11This is like getting cancer news framed.
00:23:13This is a pro-con list.
00:23:15It's just to help us gain some clarity only while we're here.
00:23:17And look, I even gave us
00:23:19a 30-point hit start because you have
00:23:21the biggest dick.
00:23:23Who's got a big dick?
00:23:25This guy.
00:23:27I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
00:23:29That is why you are so self-confident.
00:23:33I knew
00:23:35a powerful and successful
00:23:37man who,
00:23:39alas, had a small dick.
00:23:41I'll agree to this if you get him to stop talking about it.
00:23:43Deal. Sancho!
00:23:45What is this? Soup.
00:23:47That is soup. That is the first course.
00:23:49Yes.
00:23:51Buen provecho. I shall be back.
00:23:53Ah.
00:23:57Yum.
00:24:03This is amazing.
00:24:05You know, this reminds me of
00:24:07this one time when I was really young.
00:24:09I think I was, I don't know,
00:24:11I must have been around 12 or something
00:24:13and my grandmother,
00:24:15she's passed, but she was
00:24:17so funny and wonderful.
00:24:19Well, screw her.
00:24:21Screw my dead grandmother?
00:24:23Oh. When do I get to meet her?
00:24:25What?
00:24:27Travis, are you listening to me?
00:24:29I'm sorry. I'm not feeling very well.
00:24:31I do not want to ruin this moment.
00:24:33I'm gonna run off
00:24:35and throw up and I'll be right back.
00:24:37Okay?
00:24:41I love you.
00:24:45So happy we're married.
00:24:47What's the score?
00:24:49Fourth quarter just started. We're down by 12.
00:24:51Fuck!
00:24:53Yeah.
00:24:55Dude, you're about to lose a thousand bucks.
00:25:03Are you feeling better?
00:25:05Yeah, feeling better.
00:25:07Mm, soup.
00:25:13Oh.
00:25:15Somebody like the soup.
00:25:17Ah.
00:25:19It was delicious, Sancho. I'm stuffed.
00:25:21No, that is only the first course, señor.
00:25:23There are six more.
00:25:25Six? Can we bring them all out at the same time?
00:25:27No, that's unhelpful.
00:25:29Well, I'm just trying to be efficient.
00:25:31No, it's okay, okay.
00:25:33It's not a problem.
00:25:35I can handle this.
00:25:37Pino!
00:25:39It's fine. It's fine.
00:25:41No, please.
00:25:43No triangles.
00:25:45It always works.
00:25:49Are you okay?
00:25:51Yeah, I'm fine.
00:25:55So how's your dad?
00:25:57What?
00:25:59I was just trying to make conversation.
00:26:01I'm not feeling too good.
00:26:03Fourth.
00:26:05Dude, we're down by two.
00:26:07Yes!
00:26:09Dude, you can't miss this.
00:26:11Fucked it. Fucked it.
00:26:13Wait a minute.
00:26:15Okay, there we go.
00:26:17There we go.
00:26:21Oh, you can just leave that next to his soup.
00:26:23He's not feeling well.
00:26:25Shit!
00:26:29Oh, my God!
00:26:31Oh, my God!
00:26:33It's happening!
00:26:35Come here, baby. Come here.
00:26:37Come over here.
00:26:39Dude, I can't believe it.
00:26:41Fucking blow on my back.
00:26:43Blow it out.
00:26:45Blow on my back.
00:26:47Oh, baby.
00:26:49Mad expression.
00:26:51I need to look sick.
00:26:53Oh, yeah, you look a little too good.
00:26:55Soak me.
00:26:57Fucking get me, Mickey!
00:26:59Oh, my God!
00:27:01Are you okay?
00:27:03How's your tummy?
00:27:05You look a little bit clammy.
00:27:07I'm...
00:27:09What?
00:27:11I was, um...
00:27:13It's a game, and...
00:27:15How mad are you?
00:27:17Well, you bailed on wedding night dinner.
00:27:19Minus five points.
00:27:21You lied. Minus five points.
00:27:23And then you insulted my dead grandmother.
00:27:25Minus five points.
00:27:27Shit, that's a lot of points.
00:27:29Knowing he had
00:27:31fought up really bad,
00:27:33Travis planned the happiest
00:27:35two days of Abby's life.
00:27:55Oh, yeah!
00:28:25Oh, yeah.
00:28:55♪
00:29:17♪
00:29:25One, two.
00:29:29Manizquieda verde.
00:29:33Left hand green.
00:29:37Fire in the hole.
00:29:41If you were smart, you'd quit!
00:29:45Yeah, but then you'd never respect me.
00:29:47Who says I ever respected you?
00:29:51Oh, no.
00:29:53No, don't.
00:29:55Don't you...
00:29:57Okay, you know what?
00:29:59No, no, no, no, no, no!
00:30:01Stop.
00:30:03What's the matter, you?
00:30:05Hey, you got no respect.
00:30:07Hey, what do you think you do?
00:30:09Hey, why you looking so sad?
00:30:11Hey, it's not so bad.
00:30:13Hey, it's a nice place.
00:30:15Shut up and obey.
00:30:19Oh, oh, oh, you're a stork.
00:30:21I don't know, I don't...
00:30:23What are you doing?
00:30:25Baby pterodactyl.
00:30:27Thank you, thank you.
00:30:29How did you get that?
00:30:31You're good at cards, I'm good at trades.
00:30:33I'd love to just hunt one of those things,
00:30:35have a little baby pterodactyl above the fireplace.
00:30:39How about we just stick to deer?
00:30:41You're up.
00:30:45Movie?
00:30:47American in Paris.
00:30:49This is rigged.
00:30:51How's it rigged?
00:30:53She pointed to me and it's her favorite movie.
00:30:55I didn't know that was your favorite movie.
00:30:57I've always planned on living in Paris.
00:30:59How am I going to pursue criminal justice living in Paris?
00:31:01I don't know.
00:31:03I mean, I also didn't know
00:31:05that we were going to get married after three months.
00:31:11Okay, new game.
00:31:13How about Never Have I Ever?
00:31:15My favorite game.
00:31:17I always lose.
00:31:19You know.
00:31:21Okay, I will start.
00:31:23Never Have I Ever.
00:31:25Join the Mile High Club.
00:31:27The Mile High?
00:31:29Sexo Un Abion.
00:31:31Long time ago,
00:31:33back when
00:31:35Pan Am.
00:31:37I satisfied
00:31:39many.
00:31:41Oh, did you?
00:31:43You?
00:31:45No.
00:31:47I knew
00:31:49we had something in common.
00:31:51Yes, my friend.
00:31:53Yes.
00:31:55I'm going to go for a walk.
00:31:57Uh-oh.
00:31:59I said something bad.
00:32:01What's her problem?
00:32:03What's your problem?
00:32:05You want to talk about it?
00:32:07Talk about what?
00:32:09How we're married
00:32:11and we barely know each other?
00:32:13That's not true.
00:32:15I mean, kind of.
00:32:17I want to move to Paris,
00:32:19and apparently you love having sex on airplanes.
00:32:21Have you ever stopped to think
00:32:23maybe why I'm against an annulment?
00:32:25I don't know.
00:32:27I don't know.
00:32:29I don't know.
00:32:31I don't know.
00:32:33You're against an annulment?
00:32:35What couple do you know that has survived one?
00:32:39You?
00:32:45I see your point.
00:32:49Look, if you're worried about
00:32:51Paris, screw it.
00:32:53Let's move to Paris.
00:32:55I can promise you
00:32:57we'll never have a dull moment.
00:32:59I have no doubt.
00:33:01Speaking of which,
00:33:03have you ever had pool sex?
00:33:05Excuse me?
00:33:11Is it anything like shower sex?
00:33:13It is.
00:33:15Only it's a lot prettier in movies.
00:33:17Well, I think I'm going to pass on anything
00:33:19as long as it's wearing a ring.
00:33:21Abby and Travis thought
00:33:23the worst was over,
00:33:25but the worst
00:33:27was yet to come.
00:33:51In silencio por tu adiós.
00:34:09Yeah?
00:34:11Go, catch, go, catch, go.
00:34:13Oh my god, you have such good coordination.
00:34:15I don't think I can do it.
00:34:21Oh, so kind.
00:34:23Yeah?
00:34:27Morning.
00:34:29Buenos días, señor Alex.
00:34:33Those are good grapes, huh?
00:34:37Guess you don't like them.
00:34:41Órale.
00:34:52I should get back to work.
00:34:54Yeah.
00:35:01He's cute, right?
00:35:03Oh, it's adorable.
00:35:05What, do you hunt this?
00:35:07What?
00:35:09Put this up on your mantle.
00:35:11Oh, it's a lot of salt, eh?
00:35:13Yeah, I like salt.
00:35:15You don't know that about me?
00:35:17Buenos días.
00:35:19Buenos días.
00:35:31Is that all I get?
00:35:33I said hi to you this morning.
00:35:35Oh.
00:35:37Is that what that was,
00:35:39when you showed your cock to the worker?
00:35:41Well, you were so busy juggling balls,
00:35:43I thought I'd show you mine.
00:35:45Can't have everything.
00:35:47No, you can't.
00:35:55Hey, so what's going on?
00:35:57What happened this morning?
00:35:59Come on, talk to me.
00:36:01Well, there was this guy, and he was outside juggling,
00:36:03and I've always wanted to know how to...
00:36:05Let me go with everything.
00:36:07Hey, where are you?
00:36:09So, your new friend gonna join us down at the beach?
00:36:11His name is Miguel, and no,
00:36:13because you scared him off with your big dick.
00:36:16Hey, guys.
00:36:18Hey, have you seen Mer?
00:36:23Look, I know I can be possessive.
00:36:25You?
00:36:27You just don't like when guys touch you.
00:36:29Well, Travis, you'll have to get over that.
00:36:31What if I have a male gynecologist one day?
00:36:33Why would you have a male gynecologist
00:36:35when there's perfectly good female gynecologists?
00:36:37What about female empowerment?
00:36:39Isn't that what the diversity movement's all about?
00:36:41Oh, my God, I hate you right now.
00:36:43Let's progress.
00:36:45Mer?
00:36:47Mer?
00:36:49You miss me?
00:36:51Ugh.
00:36:53Hey.
00:36:55Hey, have you guys seen a small American girl?
00:36:57No hablamos inglés.
00:37:01Estamos buscando a nuestros amigos.
00:37:05Debes tener muchos amigos.
00:37:07Nuestros amigos son de los Estados Unidos.
00:37:09Y son tan lindos como tú.
00:37:13Yo soy Blanca.
00:37:15Yo soy Travis.
00:37:17¿Qué haces aquí? ¿Te vas de vacaciones?
00:37:19Sí, vacación.
00:37:21Sí, ¿y te está divirtiendo?
00:37:25It's a good color, right?
00:37:27She didn't like the color before.
00:37:29No hablo inglés.
00:37:31No hablo inglés.
00:37:33No hablo inglés.
00:37:35No hablo inglés.
00:37:37Ah, sí, inglés.
00:37:39¿Y esto?
00:37:41Watch, it gets bigger.
00:37:43It took a while,
00:37:45but we ended up getting it done.
00:37:49¿Qué significa eso?
00:37:51Oh, yeah, it's significant.
00:37:53Un momento.
00:37:57Hey.
00:37:59Hey, hey, hey.
00:38:01Where'd you go?
00:38:03I was just trying to find out where our friends were.
00:38:05I didn't ask them to take their tops off.
00:38:07Oh, okay.
00:38:09Look, look, look, look. It's a topless beach.
00:38:11See, I don't make the rules here.
00:38:13Boobies, boobs, tits.
00:38:15Yeah, yeah.
00:38:17Travis, you know what? You're right.
00:38:19Thanks. No, honestly, I wasn't trying to cause trouble or anything.
00:38:23What are you doing?
00:38:25You said it was a topless beach.
00:38:27That doesn't apply to foreigners.
00:38:29That is absurd.
00:38:31What is this, OnlyFans? Fuck off!
00:38:33You're a psycho!
00:38:35Leave me alone.
00:38:37Cover your titties!
00:38:39Ay, caramba.
00:38:41Ay, son perreo.
00:38:43Come back, baby.
00:38:45I make movies.
00:38:47Ay, me encanta.
00:38:49Ay, caramba.
00:38:59There, there.
00:39:01There, look.
00:39:03Look, I'm shutting away the visions.
00:39:09Hey, hey, hey, she's the one that took her top off.
00:39:11Uh!
00:39:19Sit tight!
00:39:33Travis!
00:39:35Uh!
00:39:39Hey, buddy!
00:39:49Really?
00:40:05What?
00:40:07Come on, Darius, just give me five more minutes.
00:40:11Look, I got a crisis on my hands,
00:40:13so just please, okay?
00:40:15Please.
00:40:17What is so important that you need me on a Sunday?
00:40:21What do you mean?
00:40:25Her stripper name is Pocahontas.
00:40:27She needs to wear the headdress.
00:40:29I have had enough of this
00:40:31culturally inappropriate woke shit.
00:40:33Relax.
00:40:35Ah!
00:40:37What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?
00:40:39Sorry, sir.
00:40:41Sorry.
00:40:45I'll call you back.
00:40:49Oh, I guess this is a way
00:40:51of staying under the radar.
00:40:53Asshats.
00:40:55Cotito.
00:40:57I know this place.
00:40:59Darius and I fell in love down here.
00:41:01Call Vince,
00:41:03take a couple of guys down there
00:41:05and go get me my money and a couple of fingers.
00:41:07Fingers?
00:41:09Yeah, fingers.
00:41:11No, no, forget it.
00:41:13I'll take care of this myself.
00:41:15Time for the next flight.
00:41:17Darius!
00:41:19Ah!
00:41:23Darius!
00:41:25Darius!
00:41:27Get out!
00:41:29I posted your bail.
00:41:33But since you don't have passports,
00:41:35you're gonna have to wait.
00:41:55Well, thank you guys
00:41:57for bailing us out and being so nice.
00:41:59I'm just sorry my husband is so rude.
00:42:01Well, I wouldn't have to be so rude
00:42:03if my wife would just respect some of my rules.
00:42:05Are you gonna housebreak me, too?
00:42:07I was gonna say requests,
00:42:09like when we're on our honeymoon,
00:42:11surrounded by a few hundred horny spring break
00:42:13TikTok-obsessed douchebags.
00:42:15Maybe don't show your tits.
00:42:17Oh, do not say the T word.
00:42:19If you say the T word, I am jumping out of this car,
00:42:21Travis, and out of your life. I mean it.
00:42:23That's a bullshit way to end an argument.
00:42:25Titties! Titties! Titties! Titties!
00:42:27Titties! Titties! Titties!
00:42:29Abby!
00:42:31Get back here!
00:42:33No, no, wait, wait.
00:42:35Miguel can take care of her.
00:42:37She's my wife. She just has a bad habit
00:42:39of running away.
00:42:41Yes, because she's running from you.
00:42:49I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:42:51I was just... I'm just looking for my ride.
00:42:55I was just looking for a friend of mine.
00:43:05Are you okay?
00:43:07Yeah. Yeah, that was...
00:43:09I could really use a drink.
00:43:13Thank you.
00:43:19Hey, if you could at least text me
00:43:21to let me know you're alive,
00:43:23I'd be much fucking appreciated.
00:43:25Jesus, is that the way you talk to her?
00:43:27What the fuck do you want?
00:43:29What the fuck do I...
00:43:31Let me be clear.
00:43:33I think you're being an asshole.
00:43:35And I think that getting married at 19
00:43:37is the dumbest shit in the world.
00:43:41But all I care about right now is my best friend,
00:43:43and she's in love with you.
00:43:45Yeah, I love her too. What's the problem?
00:43:47The problem is you're suffocating her.
00:43:49You're suffocating her,
00:43:51and she has a bad habit of disappearing,
00:43:53and I don't want that to happen to either of us.
00:43:59Buenas noches, Miguel.
00:44:03Well, aren't you super popular?
00:44:05Hola, Miguel. Hola.
00:44:07That wasn't always the case.
00:44:09I find that so hard to believe.
00:44:11You're way too nice.
00:44:15What's your backstory?
00:44:19Tell me.
00:44:21Okay, um...
00:44:23Well, I'm part Maori, part Samoan.
00:44:25Okay.
00:44:27My family moved here when I was a kid.
00:44:29Okay.
00:44:31They were actually pretty wealthy.
00:44:33You know, the house that you stay at used to be our home.
00:44:35What happened?
00:44:37The government took it when my father was killed.
00:44:39Miguel, I...
00:44:41Oh, don't shed any tears for him.
00:44:43He wasn't a good guy.
00:44:45When he was killed,
00:44:47I had to restart.
00:44:49I was just a very angry kid.
00:44:53Like, on hell.
00:44:55And then one day, I got the calling.
00:44:57The calling?
00:44:59Oh. Oh, you mean, like, THE calling.
00:45:01So you're a...
00:45:03Priest. In training.
00:45:05I did not see that coming.
00:45:07Wow.
00:45:09Tell me, Abby. Have you ever...
00:45:11I mean, I believe,
00:45:13but I don't practice or anything like that.
00:45:15Well, there's a first time for everything.
00:45:17No.
00:45:19Jesus! We've got another!
00:45:21I've got another!
00:45:29Have we ever talked like this?
00:45:31Yeah.
00:45:33It was that one time in the laundry room.
00:45:35Yeah, you know.
00:45:37You asked me if I
00:45:39had any soap, and I said that
00:45:41I need to get some.
00:45:45That was nice.
00:45:49You know, it's funny.
00:45:51You don't get to pick the people who you're boyfriending
00:45:53that way.
00:45:55Well, I never would have picked you.
00:45:57I wouldn't have picked you either.
00:45:59How long have you known her?
00:46:01A long time.
00:46:07That's pretty cute.
00:46:09You know, that kid who does all these great things
00:46:11and her parents never show up for anything?
00:46:13That was Abby.
00:46:15It's frustrating
00:46:17to watch.
00:46:19But Travis,
00:46:21she is not your problem to solve.
00:46:23Okay?
00:46:25You just have to give her time.
00:46:27I mean, she's had no stability in her life
00:46:29and you are like this
00:46:33egomaniac emblem of hyper-masculinity,
00:46:35semi-toxic,
00:46:37who I actually hope is, you know, extinct.
00:46:39Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where'd that come from?
00:46:41Jesus!
00:46:43What the hell?
00:46:49Hey, guys.
00:46:51Are you okay?
00:46:53Yeah. No, I'm...
00:46:55Yeah, I was just stargazing
00:46:57at Copernicus and...
00:46:59Telescope's over there, bro.
00:47:01Oh, they have one of those over there?
00:47:03Were you spying on us?
00:47:05No, no, no. I would never do that, okay?
00:47:07I'm...
00:47:09I was getting coconuts.
00:47:11Your favorite.
00:47:13Babe! Hey, where are you going?
00:47:15Babe!
00:47:17Whoa! Whoa, you feel that?
00:47:19Whoa, you feel that?
00:47:21It's an earthquake, babe!
00:47:23She had... She's gone, buddy.
00:47:25Whoa!
00:47:27Mommy!
00:47:29Thanks for everything today and for making sure I got home safe.
00:47:31Look,
00:47:33I know you have a lot on your mind
00:47:35and Travis has an interesting way
00:47:37of expressing himself,
00:47:39but something tells me that this marriage
00:47:41is worth fighting for.
00:47:43And I know I'm not ordained yet,
00:47:45but if you and Travis ever want to talk anything through,
00:47:47I'm here to listen.
00:47:49And I won't splash you
00:47:51with holy water or anything.
00:47:53Thanks.
00:47:55Bye. Bye.
00:48:07Bye.
00:48:15Hi.
00:48:17It's the first time
00:48:19we've been in sync for a while.
00:48:21Yeah.
00:48:23I'm sorry I've been such a dick.
00:48:25I mean,
00:48:27you haven't. It's...
00:48:29I really have.
00:48:31We know I have.
00:48:33You have.
00:48:35Well, thank you.
00:48:37I appreciate that.
00:48:39Look, I mean,
00:48:41I have a really bad habit of running away
00:48:43from my problems. You do.
00:48:45I do. And I really don't want to run away
00:48:47from you.
00:48:51Maybe we just need a little bit of a break.
00:48:55Our whole relationship has just been this crazy
00:48:57pressure cooker.
00:48:59And neither of us have been able to go off
00:49:01and have any fun or blow off any steam.
00:49:05I have fun with you.
00:49:09I know, but I met independently.
00:49:11Yeah.
00:49:13I have always wanted
00:49:15a bachelor party.
00:49:17Okay.
00:49:19Let's do it. I mean, there's no time
00:49:21like the present.
00:49:25I like your thinking, Abby.
00:49:27Hey, bro.
00:49:29Get all the boys together and come down to Mexico.
00:49:31Oh, by the way, we got an area.
00:49:33We got an area.
00:49:35Abby, you dipshit.
00:49:37Always ready for a good time,
00:49:39the Maddox brothers
00:49:41flew down to Gatito.
00:49:43Yeah, Dad. Yeah.
00:49:45Talk to him.
00:49:47What'd he say?
00:49:49That I'm in charge and to make sure
00:49:51you don't do anything stupid.
00:49:57Says that El Jefe had kilos of cocaine
00:49:59that was eaten by a cloud of hairless
00:50:01Mexican cats.
00:50:03I swear if you ruin Travis' bachelor party
00:50:05with the cocaine cat scavenger hunt,
00:50:07I will sell you to a local cartel
00:50:09and they will use you as a drug mule.
00:50:15Oh, look, I'm sorry.
00:50:17I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it.
00:50:19It was a first-class ticket waiting for you
00:50:21at Delta. I booked it so sweet.
00:50:23I just gotta get this money and a couple of fingers
00:50:25and then it's just us.
00:50:27There will be no talk of work, I swear.
00:50:29No massages and margaritas.
00:50:31Oh, Travis, just come down.
00:50:33Please.
00:50:35Call me back.
00:50:41Don't you ever,
00:50:43ever do that
00:50:45again, you...
00:50:47Oh, hey, babe. Hey, how are you?
00:50:49Where were you last night?
00:50:51Yeah, why'd you spy on me?
00:50:53Spy? What are you talking about?
00:50:55What are you talking about?
00:50:57Ow.
00:50:59Ow.
00:51:01Oh, that hurt.
00:51:03Hey.
00:51:05Why did you do that? Hey, you holding out on us, guys?
00:51:07Hey, guys. Welcome to Mexico.
00:51:09Keeping the riches to yourself.
00:51:11Yeah, you're a fucking dead man, right?
00:51:13What? Does this place have a bidet?
00:51:15Fucking nerd. What? It was a long flight.
00:51:17They're completely normal in Europe.
00:51:19No, don't chuck me in the ocean.
00:51:21Hey, buddy. Hi.
00:51:23Hey, guys. Change of plans.
00:51:25It's now in the afternoon, so we're going to the beach with us.
00:51:27Will you teach me how to play football?
00:51:29Hey, chef, think fast.
00:51:31Heads up, bud. Touchdown!
00:51:33Call me good
00:51:35Call me bad
00:51:37Call me anything you want to
00:51:39Baby
00:51:41But I know
00:51:43That you're sad
00:51:45And I know I'm making happy
00:51:47With a woman that you never had
00:51:49Baby
00:51:51I'm your man
00:51:53Don't you
00:51:55Know that, baby
00:51:57I'm your man
00:52:03If you're gonna do it
00:52:05Do it right
00:52:07Do it with me
00:52:09If you're gonna do it
00:52:11Do it right
00:52:13Do it with me
00:52:15If you're gonna do it
00:52:17Do it right
00:52:19Do it with me
00:52:21Wanna take you on, make you love me, tell me it's a crime
00:52:25Everybody knows where the good people go
00:52:28But where we're going, baby
00:52:30Ain't no such word as no
00:52:33Baby, I'm your man
00:52:37Don't you know who I am?
00:52:40Baby, I'm your man
00:52:45No, you bet
00:52:47If you're gonna do it, do it right
00:52:50Baby, if you're gonna do it, do it right
00:52:53Do it with me
00:52:54I'm a good man, I'll do what I understand
00:52:57I'll be the first, I'll be the last
00:52:59I'll be the only one you ask
00:53:01I'll be your friend, I'll be your toy
00:53:03I'll be the one who brings you joy
00:53:05I'll be your hope, I'm your pearl
00:53:07I'll take you everywhere in the world
00:53:09Baby, if you're gonna do it, do it right
00:53:12Do it with me
00:53:13If you're gonna do it, do it right
00:53:15Just when you know
00:53:17Baby, if you're gonna do it, do it right
00:53:19Okay, babe, what's going on?
00:53:21Seriously, your action's so weird.
00:53:23I mean, you literally built a wall between us.
00:53:25Okay, you...
00:53:27You know when you're driving down the highway
00:53:29and a really great song comes on
00:53:31and you get really into the song
00:53:32and then you miss your exit and...
00:53:34Okay, wait, wait.
00:53:35Am I the song or the highway?
00:53:37No, it's just...
00:53:38I feel like I'm learning all of these things about you.
00:53:40Good, good, good.
00:53:41You should be, you know, learning things about me
00:53:43and me learning things about you, yeah.
00:53:45Yeah, no, definitely.
00:53:46Then I find out that you hunt.
00:53:48I hunt? Yeah, I'm not hiding it.
00:53:50No, you're not listening to me.
00:53:51You're not listening to me!
00:53:52Okay, maybe I shouldn't have even tried.
00:53:54Yeah, maybe you should know.
00:53:59And so the boys and girls went their separate ways.
00:54:02The girls went off to a relaxing spa.
00:54:05And the boys, well...
00:54:08Let's go!
00:54:09Let's go!
00:54:10Come on, come on!
00:54:11Don't do this!
00:54:12Come on!
00:54:13Oh, shit!
00:54:14Oh, what the fuck!
00:54:15Let's go!
00:54:16Shut up, man!
00:54:17Shut up!
00:54:18Come on!
00:54:19Yeah, honey!
00:54:20Come on, honey!
00:54:21Oh!
00:54:22Oh!
00:54:23Oh!
00:54:24Oh!
00:54:25Oh!
00:54:26Oh!
00:54:27Oh!
00:54:28Oh!
00:54:29Oh!
00:54:30Oh!
00:54:31Oh!
00:54:32Oh!
00:54:33Oh!
00:54:34Oh!
00:54:35Oh!
00:54:36Oh!
00:54:37Oh!
00:54:38Oh!
00:54:39Oh!
00:54:40My skin feels so great!
00:54:41Yeah, we should try the seaweed wrap now.
00:54:43Oh, I would love to do a seaweed wrap, I've always wanted to.
00:54:46Okay, well, at least come with us to dinner.
00:54:48Look, nobody's going to bother you.
00:54:51You know what, okay, do whatever you want.
00:54:54But tomorrow, we are going sailing.
00:54:56Oh...
00:54:58Oh, I'm sorry about that.
00:55:00No, you're fine.
00:55:02Sounds like you need some relaxation.
00:55:04What brings you girls down here?
00:55:05Honeymoon.
00:55:07Oh, I once had a one-night stand with my doula.
00:55:14Oh, no, no, no, it's not, not us, no, not the third, no.
00:55:18Great for you, though, no, but that's...
00:55:19We don't have a problem with that, we love that,
00:55:21we support that, it's just not, it's not.
00:55:24Yeah, it's our bachelor and bachelorette parties.
00:55:26We're doing it kind of backwards.
00:55:28Well, where's the rest of your party?
00:55:30Yeah, you're looking at it, yeah.
00:55:33Well, is that what you wanted?
00:55:36Well, no.
00:55:38Oh, okay, it's what he wanted.
00:55:41Well, yeah, I guess I'm just trying to make him happy.
00:55:44Oh, God.
00:55:45Oh, no, I heard it, that was awful.
00:55:47I know, I know.
00:55:48Hey, hey, hey, you.
00:55:49Put that down.
00:55:50Hey, I can't, I can't.
00:55:52Put it down.
00:55:53Hey, you need to behave.
00:55:55Oh, are you gonna teach me?
00:56:01Ow.
00:56:02Oh, my God, you're my hero.
00:56:04Pour yourselves a drink, girls.
00:56:06Okay.
00:56:08Can I be frank?
00:56:09Please, please.
00:56:11This marriage is starting off on the wrong foot.
00:56:14This is not about his needs, it's about your needs.
00:56:18Now, I lead women's retreats throughout the year,
00:56:20and it's mostly Fortune 500,
00:56:22but I also cater to the homemaker
00:56:24and poor people like yourself.
00:56:27Because as much as you would like to deny it, girls,
00:56:30you cannot disrespect or demean the power of the pussy.
00:56:36Drink it, or drink it.
00:56:38Drink it, it was expensive.
00:56:41Ladies, these two will be joining us.
00:56:45I have some calls to make,
00:56:47but Fernando knows where to take you,
00:56:48so run along, I'll see you later.
00:56:57We don't see this in the States.
00:56:58Yeah, that's because it's illegal.
00:57:15Mijo!
00:57:17Mijo!
00:57:19Mijo!
00:57:28Mijo!
00:57:39You okay, chef?
00:57:41Yeah, sorry, I just fucked.
00:57:44Allergy season, right?
00:57:48After masajes and muchas margaritas,
00:57:51the girls chose to take their bachelorette party
00:57:54to the streets in search of more fun.
00:57:58Welcome to the festival, the festival de lucha.
00:58:01Can you tell me what a lucha fight is?
00:58:03You tend to over yonder, my fair wench.
00:58:06Hey, excuse me, Shakespeare.
00:58:08I don't really like it when you wench.
00:58:11And the winner is Gek La Gek!
00:58:17Next event, next fight,
00:58:19with the participation of the audience,
00:58:22the fabulous and unique
00:58:26Thumbelina!
00:58:29My name is Thumbelina, I'm three feet tall.
00:58:32My mommy always told me, five feet or small.
00:58:35My neighbors, they call me Thumbelina.
00:58:37He wants to know if anyone will fight Thumbelina.
00:58:40What?
00:58:41No, she's like a delicate little flower.
00:58:43These people can't fight her.
00:58:44No, no, no, I'll do it.
00:58:45I will do it.
00:58:46It's gonna be fine, I'll be fine.
00:58:47No, no, no.
00:58:48I'll do it.
00:58:49I'm gonna, this is a terrible idea.
00:58:51Hi.
00:58:52Hi.
00:58:54Oh, I'm Abby.
00:58:56I told you it's gonna be fine.
00:58:58She's cute.
00:59:00Okay, so do I get a costume?
00:59:06Oh, man, you're good.
00:59:08You're good, chef, you're good.
00:59:10Just a stupid, stupid little chicken, okay?
00:59:14Okay, okay.
00:59:16All right, get it together.
00:59:18Get it together.
00:59:20We got a favorito.
00:59:24No, no, no.
00:59:26No!
00:59:28Look at his little feet.
00:59:31Where's the humanity?
00:59:35The people are sick.
00:59:36You did this.
00:59:38You did this to your child.
00:59:41How do you feel about that?
00:59:43He's an animal of love.
00:59:51Come on.
00:59:54This is sick fuck.
00:59:57Not on my watch.
00:59:59You.
01:00:02Abby!
01:00:04Abernathy!
01:00:09You okay?
01:00:10Yeah, I'm fine.
01:00:12Listen very carefully to the room, all right?
01:00:14Okay.
01:00:15There are no rumors.
01:00:17Go!
01:00:19Meow.
01:00:21Okay.
01:00:23Ow!
01:00:25Jesus!
01:00:27Ow!
01:00:29What's happening?
01:00:31Put the axe!
01:00:33Go!
01:00:35Oh, God!
01:00:36Okay.
01:00:37Truce!
01:00:38Wait!
01:00:41Shit!
01:00:52You tell me that's not Abby.
01:00:54It's definitely Abby.
01:00:56It's a battle!
01:00:59All right, all right, all right.
01:01:02Oh, God.
01:01:04Okay, honey.
01:01:06Meow.
01:01:07Okay.
01:01:08What happened to Manny Pettys?
01:01:10I could really use your advice right now.
01:01:12Okay.
01:01:13Okay, um, well, she's favoring a right knee.
01:01:16Go for her knee.
01:01:17No, that's so mean.
01:01:18It's really mean, but it might save your life.
01:01:20Yeah!
01:01:21Sorpresa!
01:01:23Don't listen to her.
01:01:24She's trying to get in your head.
01:01:25Look at me.
01:01:26Okay.
01:01:27Okay.
01:01:28¿Qué pasa, gringa?
01:01:30What are you doing?
01:01:31Nothing.
01:01:33Tu novio es muy guapo.
01:01:36She's trying to fuck you.
01:01:37I...
01:01:38I don't know.
01:01:39I'm gonna go.
01:01:40Listen here.
01:01:41Vete a la vista, fatty.
01:01:43Fatty?
01:01:45I think you dropped something.
01:01:47Huh?
01:01:49Yeah!
01:01:52That's what you get for trying to fuck my husband!
01:01:56Yeah!
01:01:57Oh, Somalia shit!
01:01:58Slam her!
01:02:00I don't know what's legal.
01:02:01Do whatever.
01:02:04Just do it!
01:02:09Mama!
01:02:11I am immensely turned on by you.
01:02:17Yeah!
01:02:21I can't believe you did it.
01:02:23You were awesome.
01:02:24You won.
01:02:25All right, have fun at your bachelor party.
01:02:27All right, I love you.
01:02:28Come on.
01:02:29Have fun.
01:02:31There's a tavern in the town, in the town
01:02:35Where my sweet love sits me down, sits me down
01:02:39Drinks her wine as merry as can be
01:02:43Never, never thinks of me
01:02:45Whoa, looks like the power's out again.
01:02:48Somalia!
01:02:52What's with all the eye candy?
01:02:53I'm married.
01:02:54You are.
01:02:56But we're not.
01:02:58Don't get any cute ideas.
01:03:00Abby's our sister now.
01:03:01Yeah, I'll have to agree with him on that one.
01:03:20I mean, I love him.
01:03:23That's gotta be worth something, right?
01:03:26Yeah, absolutely.
01:03:29I don't know what love is anymore.
01:03:31Uh-oh.
01:03:34Have you eaten anything today?
01:03:36I'm full.
01:03:38A bridge!
01:03:41Here's the thing, girls.
01:03:43I got married too fucking young.
01:03:45It didn't work out, you know?
01:03:46What am I gonna fucking do?
01:03:48What do you mean, what am I gonna fucking do?
01:03:50I'm already...
01:03:51Oh, look, I'm peeing.
01:03:55I'm never getting married.
01:03:57What's that?
01:03:58Those stats are not in your favor, okay?
01:04:01And by the way, hey, listen.
01:04:03Hey, it's not like you came in to any assets or anything, right?
01:04:07So...
01:04:08And there are no kids involved.
01:04:10So you got that.
01:04:12I'm gonna have a baby of my own.
01:04:15Millicent.
01:04:17Let's buy one.
01:04:18They're more grateful.
01:04:21Okay, shit.
01:04:23Okay, I got you.
01:04:25I got you food.
01:04:26Oh, oh.
01:04:28This looks so good, guys.
01:04:31All right.
01:04:34Mmm.
01:04:35Free now.
01:04:36Yeah.
01:04:40Ooh, you're hungry.
01:04:42Yeah.
01:04:43Ooh.
01:04:44Bon appetit.
01:04:46Yeah, come on.
01:04:47What?
01:04:48The food's over here.
01:04:49Here you go.
01:04:50Yeah, you can eat.
01:04:51No, no, no.
01:04:52Hey, hey, hey.
01:04:53Cease.
01:04:54Pada, pada, pada.
01:04:55Ouch.
01:04:56Pada.
01:04:57Stop.
01:04:58Stop.
01:04:59Pada, pada, pada.
01:05:00Guys, let's be friends.
01:05:01Let's be friends.
01:05:02Pada.
01:05:03Pada.
01:05:04Pada.
01:05:05Pada.
01:05:06Pada.
01:05:07Pada.
01:05:08Pada.
01:05:09Pada.
01:05:10Pada.
01:05:11Pada.
01:05:12Pada.
01:05:13Pada.
01:05:15No.
01:05:16No.
01:05:17No.
01:05:18No.
01:05:19No.
01:05:20No.
01:05:21No.
01:05:27I need an exchange deal.
01:05:28Help.
01:05:29Help me.
01:05:31Help.
01:05:32Help.
01:05:33Help.
01:05:34Help.
01:05:35Help.
01:05:36Help.
01:05:40I got you.
01:05:43I love you so much.
01:05:44Okay, come on, let's go.
01:05:45You're such a good mom.
01:05:46I know, I love you very much.
01:05:47Who needs stuff?
01:05:48No, I need some help.
01:05:49Here we go.
01:05:50I love you.
01:05:51Here, where's the water bag?
01:05:52Okay.
01:05:53No, it's not a water bag.
01:05:54Oh, no, it's not a water bag.
01:05:55You know, lady, I love you, too.
01:05:56Oh.
01:05:57I need more of it.
01:05:58Whoa, I just need to know if Darius made his flight.
01:06:01What are you looking at?
01:06:03I don't give a fuck about Abby anymore.
01:06:05I just want Darius.
01:06:07What do you mean he cashed his ticket in?
01:06:10No, no, no, those are my miles.
01:06:12That's my money.
01:06:14I worked my whole fucking life to build the nest egg of money and love.
01:06:18And what's the point if you keep losing the nest egg and the love?
01:06:22Help me!
01:06:33Oh, no, no.
01:06:36Hi, Chevrolet baby, it's mom.
01:06:38I'm at hospice with granny.
01:06:40Mommy, yes, it's me.
01:06:42We're about to pull the plug, and she wanted to say goodbye.
01:06:44No, grandma.
01:06:45Where are you?
01:06:46No, grandma, I'm at the hospital.
01:06:49I'm very fine.
01:06:50Shut me in, granny.
01:06:52I just wanted to tell you I'm fine.
01:06:56No, goodbye, granny.
01:06:59No, I don't like those.
01:07:01I like Pino.
01:07:02Pino!
01:07:05Guys!
01:07:06Oh, they'll never believe me.
01:07:29Guess who?
01:07:33Remember us?
01:07:36You learn English fast.
01:07:38I learn a lot of things fast.
01:07:40Isn't this your bachelor party?
01:07:44Sure is.
01:07:45My bachelor party.
01:07:47So, don't you want to have some fun?
01:07:52Okay, you know, I thought I was having enough fun already.
01:07:58You know what we mean.
01:08:03Ascensor subiendo.
01:08:05Away from blondie.
01:08:07You mean Abby, my wife.
01:08:09Come on.
01:08:11We want to have...
01:08:19I gotta go.
01:08:21Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
01:08:24Naughty, naughty.
01:08:26Thank you for letting us stay on the cot.
01:08:29Yeah, well, okay, ladies, it's been real.
01:08:33Good luck with your life, your marriage.
01:08:36And if you were a gambler, I would tell you
01:08:39that the odds are not in your favor.
01:08:41End of book.
01:08:42Wait, I have to pee. Is this a bathroom?
01:08:44Yeah, but no, no, no, no, don't, don't go there.
01:08:47That's Parker's room.
01:08:48Just go in the pond.
01:08:49Parker!
01:08:50Go in the pond.
01:08:51Parker!
01:08:52My son, the doctor that we were talking about.
01:08:55What's your last name?
01:08:56Hayes.
01:08:58Hayes.
01:08:59Parker Hayes.
01:09:01Doctor.
01:09:04Hey, Parker!
01:09:06Doctor Hayes?
01:09:07Parker Hayes?
01:09:08Stop!
01:09:09Parker?
01:09:13Mayor!
01:09:14Mayor, we gotta go!
01:09:21Hey!
01:09:29Travis.
01:09:34Naughty, naughty.
01:09:37Travis, Travis, come and get me.
01:09:41Travis!
01:09:43Asshole!
01:09:44Fine, two can play at that.
01:09:46Oh, Travis, you're so good.
01:09:51Okay, Parker.
01:09:52Okay, I'm just gonna...
01:09:53Shit.
01:09:54Okay, go.
01:09:55Wait, hold on.
01:09:56Okay.
01:09:57Ow!
01:09:59Ow!
01:10:00Okay.
01:10:01Hi, Parker.
01:10:02Hi.
01:10:03Hi, you little nice, boring man.
01:10:04Okay, we're gonna take a photo.
01:10:07Shit.
01:10:08Oh, my God.
01:10:09Oh, my God.
01:10:10Oh, my God.
01:10:11Oh, my God.
01:10:12Oh, my God.
01:10:13Oh, my God.
01:10:14Oh, my God.
01:10:15Oh, my God.
01:10:16Oh, my God.
01:10:17Oh, my God.
01:10:18Oh, my God.
01:10:19Shit.
01:10:20What?
01:10:37No!
01:10:38What are you doing?
01:10:39Don't eat her!
01:10:45Shh.
01:10:46Shh.
01:10:47Shh.
01:10:49Goddamn it!
01:10:54How are you sleeping?
01:10:55Roll over.
01:10:56God, you're fucking pointless.
01:10:59Roll over.
01:11:01One...
01:11:04Two...
01:11:06Oh!
01:11:07Oh, come on!
01:11:08Come on!
01:11:09Ow!
01:11:10Oh, no!
01:11:11Oh, no.
01:11:20Oh.
01:11:31Oh.
01:11:41Oh.
01:11:45Oh.
01:11:47Oh.
01:11:47Oh!
01:11:54Oh.
01:12:01Oh.
01:12:11What the hell happened in here?
01:12:18Is that me?
01:12:27This is so mean.
01:12:36You're so mean.
01:12:46Yeah, I don't think we're there yet. Thank you, though.
01:12:48Okay.
01:13:46What the fuck are you?
01:14:14It's me. It's me. It's Abby. It's me.
01:14:16Abby, what are you doing here?
01:14:18For a surprise. Take a selfie.
01:14:20A selfie? You fucking psycho.
01:14:22Abby, are you in there?
01:14:23Oh, God. Parker, he's gonna kill you.
01:14:26Abby, open up. There's nobody here by that name, so piss off.
01:14:29Shh.
01:14:30Oh, my God. You fucked Parker.
01:14:34You got me.
01:14:35What are you doing here?
01:14:37What are you doing in there?
01:14:39What have you done?
01:14:41Get him off me.
01:14:43You're gonna get your ass kicked.
01:14:45Get off me. Get off me.
01:14:47Oh, Jesus.
01:14:48Oh, my God.
01:14:50Oh, my God.
01:14:51Oh, my God.
01:14:52Stop it.
01:14:53Oh, my God.
01:14:54Stop.
01:14:55Oh, my God.
01:14:56Oh, my God.
01:14:57Oh, my God.
01:15:01Well, how was that for your first time, Miguel?
01:15:06Didn't you see something else?
01:15:08Found her in bed with her ex on our honeymoon.
01:15:11♪♪
01:15:14I-It was really stupid.
01:15:17I was drunk.
01:15:18I'm trying to get a selfie to make him jealous.
01:15:20But the only reason I did it is because
01:15:23I went to FaceTime Travis last night,
01:15:25and this is what I saw.
01:15:28♪♪
01:15:31I...
01:15:33Abby, I-I had nothing to do with this.
01:15:35You have to believe me.
01:15:37I do.
01:15:40I do. When I sobered up this morning
01:15:41and I had a second to think, I figured that...
01:15:45I don't know, that some girls must have taken your phone
01:15:46or something.
01:15:48And that's the truth.
01:15:51Right. I believe you.
01:15:54You guys, there's-there's hope in this.
01:15:57Except that doesn't really go both ways
01:15:59in our relationship now, does it?
01:16:01♪♪
01:16:05Well...
01:16:07it's not really like you gave me a fighting chance
01:16:09with your marriage annulment contest.
01:16:14You set me up to fail.
01:16:16♪♪
01:16:20Miguel, I know that you said that there's something
01:16:22in Travis and I that's worth fighting for, but...
01:16:26you know, I don't really think I have any fight left.
01:16:31Well, neither do I.
01:16:34Travis.
01:16:36♪♪
01:16:39Abby, Psalm 51 says,
01:16:41create a new...
01:16:42Save it. I'm done.
01:16:44♪♪
01:16:50♪♪
01:16:56My mom knows someone at Customs
01:16:58who can get us on a 4 o'clock flight back to Sacramento.
01:17:00Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang around here, wander.
01:17:05Don't wander too far.
01:17:07Promise?
01:17:08Yes. Yes, I promise.
01:17:10There.
01:17:11But enough about me.
01:17:13How are you doing?
01:17:14This is so weird, Abby.
01:17:17The second I met Shepley, I just fell so hard.
01:17:19And we get here, and I feel like I'm just seeing
01:17:21who he really is for the first time.
01:17:23Yeah. Sounds familiar.
01:17:25I mean, he hunts, he spies on me.
01:17:27I-I just can't.
01:17:30He's not right for me.
01:17:32I hear you.
01:17:35I thought maybe Travis was different,
01:17:38but he's just like all the men from my past.
01:17:41I mean, I don't know what to say, Amir.
01:17:43I guess we were both just dealt a really...
01:17:46Hello?
01:17:48Abby?
01:17:54I want to see the two of you in my office in an hour,
01:17:57and don't you even think of skipping town.
01:18:00This is about Travis assuming your debt
01:18:04by fighting against Chernobyl.
01:18:06♪
01:18:36♪
01:18:46Aah!
01:18:48Aah!
01:18:50Aah!
01:18:52Aah!
01:18:54Aah!
01:18:56It fell out of the sink!
01:18:58Ooh!
01:19:00I thought I had you!
01:19:02I don't hear women!
01:19:05Aah!
01:19:07It's stuck in the sink!
01:19:09God, you're furry!
01:19:11I'm gonna get you!
01:19:13What are you, hormonal?
01:19:15Aah!
01:19:17Aah!
01:19:19Who is it?
01:19:23What?
01:19:25What do you want?
01:19:28♪
01:19:38I'm sorry about your painting.
01:19:42I'm sorry about fucking up your life.
01:19:45Ish.
01:19:49You didn't fuck up my life.
01:19:51You fucked up my relationship with my dad.
01:19:54There were some other things.
01:19:56Toledo.
01:19:58Toledo?
01:20:00Dude, I was 14.
01:20:02You were a cash cow.
01:20:04You really did deserve that rock to the head.
01:20:08I'm sorry about...
01:20:10There he is.
01:20:12Yeah.
01:20:14I don't even know if he ever really loved me.
01:20:16This painting was my last-ditch effort
01:20:18because we were down.
01:20:20Doesn't matter.
01:20:23Well, for what it's worth,
01:20:25it's not like my relationship is any better.
01:20:27I'm about to be a divorcee at 19.
01:20:29What?
01:20:31Yeah.
01:20:33For somebody who is so good at cards,
01:20:35you are a real fucking idiot.
01:20:37Excuse me?
01:20:39Oh, yeah, right, Miss Wisdom at 19.
01:20:41You don't see what's staring you right in the face.
01:20:43Love, Abby, love.
01:20:45Your guy, this guy, the fighter,
01:20:47Travis, and the passion you two have.
01:20:49You think you can buy that on Amazon.
01:20:51You cannot.
01:20:53I don't care if you're 19 or you're 90.
01:20:55When that happens, shabam!
01:20:59Shabam?
01:21:01Shabam!
01:21:05Shabam.
01:21:07Fucking shabam.
01:21:09What do you guys want?
01:21:11We want you to fight for her.
01:21:13You don't think I'm trying?
01:21:15Then, dude, try fucking harder.
01:21:17It's like Dad always said.
01:21:20When one of you gives up.
01:21:22That's right. You fight, and you fight,
01:21:24and you keep fighting.
01:21:26Because you're a Maddox,
01:21:28and that's what we do for love.
01:21:30Travis, do you love her?
01:21:32Of course I love her.
01:21:34Then go and get her, dude.
01:21:36I don't even know where she is.
01:21:38I think she found you, bro.
01:21:40What?
01:21:42With all the brown beef covered
01:21:44With all the fine sweet wine
01:21:46I won't let you go
01:21:49I won't let you drown in the ocean
01:21:51I won't watch you burn in the sun
01:21:53We'll sing it in a song
01:21:55We'll sing it in a song
01:21:57We'll sing it in a song
01:21:59We'll sing it in a song
01:22:01We'll sing it in a song
01:22:03In all the seas we've sailed on
01:22:05Our faces turned to stone
01:22:07I will follow you
01:22:09I will follow you
01:22:11Where the light goes
01:22:13Until the rocks we have broken
01:22:15We'll sing it in a song
01:22:17We'll sing it in a song
01:22:27The greatest love we've ever told
01:22:33Our finest dreams are
01:22:35Our finest dreams are
01:22:41Forever young
01:22:43Forever young
01:22:47The greatest love we've ever told
01:22:51Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
01:22:53Fuera, fuera
01:22:55Todo el mundo aquí
01:22:57Where did you get these suits?
01:22:59Dude, they're traditional.
01:23:01Oh yeah, really? Did you get these suits with the sign that reads
01:23:03Please don't fuck me?
01:23:05It's the fucking priest. Have some respect.
01:23:07I know what I'm talking about.
01:23:09No, no, no, no
01:23:11Bye!
01:23:17Bye!
01:23:27This is the ring that our father
01:23:29got our mother
01:23:33She passed before Travis
01:23:35really got to ever know her
01:23:37But it's special
01:23:39And
01:23:41you're special
01:23:43We'd like you to have it
01:23:46We love you very much
01:23:48This is beautiful
01:23:52I just wish that I could have met her, you guys
01:23:54But I'm sure she was so incredible
01:23:58I don't even know what to say
01:24:02Well, you could say yes
01:24:04Yes, yes, yeah
01:24:08I'll cherish this forever, thank you guys so much
01:24:12I'm really proud to call you guys my brothers
01:24:16Hey
01:24:20What are you guys doing here?
01:24:30Right from the start
01:24:32We knew we'd be together
01:24:36You tried the travi?
01:24:38Hey, yeah
01:24:40Yeah, I've had like three, they're great
01:24:42They're great, you should get one, man
01:24:45Alright, I'll have one
01:24:51Did you talk to Mayor?
01:24:53Mayor?
01:24:55You alright?
01:25:03It doesn't matter, it's your night, man
01:25:05It's your night
01:25:07Cheers, I love you
01:25:09I love you
01:25:11I love you so much
01:25:13I love you more, bro
01:25:15I would leave her tonight for you
01:25:17If it weren't for the whole cousin inbreeding thing
01:25:19We could have something
01:25:23So what happened for you?
01:25:25You should find your wife
01:25:27That's what you have to say
01:25:29You good?
01:25:31I'm good
01:25:39Hey, what's the chef, Mayor?
01:25:42You tell me
01:25:44Oh my
01:25:46It's my baby
01:25:48Come here
01:25:50Pumpkin
01:25:52I missed you
01:25:54I was at the spa and I heard that someone tried to free the roosters
01:25:56But didn't realize that they're actually trained killers
01:25:58I didn't know they were killers
01:26:00Did you do that?
01:26:02Yeah, I was just trying to be a nice guy
01:26:04And they're not nice
01:26:06You're a good man, Chef Lee Maddox
01:26:08And I've been such a jerk
01:26:11Stop, stop, stop
01:26:13I'm sorry
01:26:15I'm sorry for spying on you
01:26:17I love you so much
01:26:19And I want to be your baby, Maddox
01:26:21I want to be your baby
01:26:23I want to be on your mantle
01:26:37Sancho, right?
01:26:39Si
01:26:43I feel like I'm past my prime
01:26:47Me lo dices
01:26:49All I want to do is nap
01:26:53I take a good nap over that painting meditation bullshit
01:27:01Money doesn't fix it
01:27:03Ass doesn't fix it
01:27:06Ass
01:27:08No bueno
01:27:10Pino's ass
01:27:12Tight
01:27:14Treacherous
01:27:18I just want to find somebody
01:27:20To sail off in the sunset
01:27:22I mean fuck a couple people
01:27:24Up along the way
01:27:26But just for fun
01:27:28I like a man like you
01:27:30Muy masculino
01:27:36I've never tried Mexican
01:27:42I think that you would
01:27:44Find it most appealing
01:27:52Okay, so I've been thinking
01:27:56I've been thinking about giving the Maddox name a try
01:28:00But it has to include some personalized towels
01:28:02Towels?
01:28:04Expensive towels
01:28:08And how many points is that?
01:28:10Oh forget about the points
01:28:12I stopped counting when we were down by like a thousand
01:28:16A thousand's an exaggeration
01:28:18Who's stupid anyway?
01:28:20I can't rationalize this marriage
01:28:22And I can't rationalize why I love you
01:28:24But I do
01:28:30And so Abby and Travis agreed
01:28:33Till death do us part
01:28:37As long as they don't kill each other
01:28:41Adios amigos
01:28:55Jesus Roger
01:28:59Jesus Christ
01:29:03Mama
01:29:05Uh-oh
01:29:11Tell me
01:29:13Are you
01:29:15Are you
01:29:16Are you
01:29:18My baby
01:29:20Are you
01:29:22Are you
01:29:24Are you
01:29:26Are you
01:29:28Are you
01:29:30Are you
01:29:32♪
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