Akshay Kumar x Harsh Gujral | Roast Standup Comedy - video Dailymotion

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Akshay Kumar and Harsh Gujral Get ROASTED in Hilarious Stand-Up Comedy  Get ready for a laughter riot as Bollywood superstar Akshay Kumar and stand-up comedian Harsh Gujral take the stage in this uproarious roast! In this hilarious stand-up comedy special, watch as Akshay and Harsh go head-to-head, poking fun at each other's quirks, careers, and everything in between. With their witty banter and comedic timing, this roast promises to leave you in splits!   Join us for an unforgettable night filled with jokes, laughter, and a unique take on celebrity culture. Whether you're a fan of Akshay Kumar's films or Harsh Gujral's comedy, this video is a must-watch for anyone who loves a good laugh. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more hilarious content!  #AkshayKumar #HarshGujral #StandUpComedy #ComedyRoast #LaughOutLoud #BollywoodComedy #HilariousMoments  funny videos,roast,funny moments,Harsh Gujral,entertainment,jokes,comedy special,roast battle,humor,Akshay Kumar,comedy show,viral videos,laughter,hilarious,comedy roast,comedy clips,comedy skits,Indian comedians,Akshay Kumar roast,stand-up comedy,Indian stand-up  Akshay Kumar and Harsh Gujral just got roasted so hard, you'll be laughing for days!

Transcript

00:00To the stage, Mr. Harsh Gujrat.

00:05Amazing.

00:07Thank you so much.

00:08Mumbai, as a city, I love it.

00:10And I want to ask you again,

00:13how many of you are watching stand-up for the first time?

00:15Very good. Because this is the start of the show.

00:17Do you know the drill?

00:19You have to clap. Don't sit like this.

00:21I love it. I love Mumbai as a city.

00:24I've been living here for six months, more frequently.

00:26Everyone here is so confident.

00:28If you go to another city, like Delhi,

00:30ask a millionaire, what do you do?

00:31He says, he takes a bath.

00:33Ask someone in Mumbai, what do you do?

00:35He says, he's a model.

00:37Every person is a model.

00:40No one is walking on the road, everyone is walking on the ramp.

00:42It's such a bad condition,

00:43and the one who's not modeling, is acting.

00:46Half of Mumbai is acting for the fact that we're actors.

00:49Why, Pragya?

00:52I'm telling you, I was travelling in an auto.

00:53The auto driver said, I'll act.

00:55I said, you're driving an auto. He said, I'm driving to be humble.

00:58I swear to God, I couldn't tell him that I'm a comedian.

01:01He said, what are you? I said, I'm a passenger.

01:03Get me out of the auto.

01:05I'm telling you, I've seen such a city in Mumbai,

01:07there are fewer potholes, but more actors.

01:10I feel like, when a rooster crows in the morning,

01:12it's because of the action in the bang.

01:15Mr. Mudar, I'm not talking about you.

01:18So, you're from Delhi. Many people are from Delhi.

01:19Sir, you're from Delhi. There's no such traffic rule in Delhi.

01:22If you're there, you're on a red light.

01:23You're on a red light, and the guy behind you starts abusing you.

01:25Will you walk on the green light?

01:28I've seen Bollywood marriages.

01:30You guys have set such bad examples.

01:32By God, the Bollywood people.

01:34Taapsee had such a wonderful marriage.

01:36No one knew when she came and when she left.

01:38Just like her films.

01:40I...

01:45I'm very happy with her.

01:46No one knew.

01:47I mean, forget about anyone, even the groom didn't know.

01:52We asked Maitiyaz,

01:54he said, I don't know, he used to sit in the car and play badminton every day.

01:57Today, he's taking her on a horse.

02:00Pragya, I'm telling you, she's very different.

02:02She's very intelligent. First, she did law.

02:04And then, she did acting.

02:06She knew that when her audience would see her film,

02:08they'd file a few cases against her.

02:12Pragya, she became a lawyer. I'm telling you.

02:14She became a lawyer. It's not that she left her lawyer for acting.

02:16The judge threw her out of the court.

02:19Yes, she wore a pink coat and left.

02:23The judge asked, what's this?

02:24She said, I wear vibrant colours on Fridays.

02:27This black is very monotonous.

02:29I love Vani the most in this film.

02:31I'm telling you, we have a very strong match.

02:33Our heights match.

02:34I'm a six-foot boy. My mom used to say, I won't get a tall girl.

02:36But I'm telling you, I saw your pure Indian romance.

02:38I fell in love with you after that.

02:40I told my mom, Vani will be in the next film.

02:41I'll show you. She's your daughter-in-law.

02:43Then, I took her to show her carelessness.

02:47We ran away from there in the middle of the film.

02:49That daughter-in-law is kissing her other son-in-law.

02:53I'm telling you, we have so much glamour in front of us.

02:57Aditya Seel is the most beautiful of them all.

03:01I'm telling you, I took a picture with this man.

03:04Oh, my God!

03:05It was a scene with turmeric. He looked more beautiful than a bride.

03:09I'm telling you, you didn't know this man.

03:11He was a child artist.

03:13This man has written a short love story.

03:15Those who don't know, this is a couple

03:18who are enjoying themselves.

03:19And this man is sitting like this.

03:22That year, he won the Best New Waist Award.

03:27He won that.

03:30If any guy is beautiful in Bollywood after Aditya Seel

03:34then, it's Fardeen Bhai.

03:35No, I'm telling you, sir, because he has a genetic.

03:38For example, Feroz sir's attitude, personality

03:41is very strong.

03:42Only a rich man gets these things from his father.

03:44He'll get money, property, girlfriends. He'll get everything.

03:48What does a poor man get? He doesn't get anything.

03:49I'll tell my father, what he left for me is blood sugar.

03:52You must be thinking that I didn't roast you in this line or in this joke.

03:57You didn't see the roast.

03:59Right? Right?

04:00You also did so many pictures.

04:02We asked you, but you didn't see the acting.

04:05When I searched about you, I found out that

04:07he has made a comeback after 14 years.

04:09Which is a very great thing.

04:13Hey, call me now.

04:15Hey, man.

04:17When will you call me?

04:19Sorry, sir. I was in the flow.

04:21I was in the flow of my show. Sorry.

04:23Let's welcome on stage, my childhood friend, my boyfriend.

04:27Mr. Akshay Kumar.

04:33He is a great guy.

04:36After seeing so many people, I forgot myself.

04:39I am standing there.

04:40I was like..

04:41Sir, even I have the same habit.

04:42I get lost seeing the glamour.

04:44Okay.

04:45You do it very well.

04:46You do it very well.

04:48I am your friend.

04:50Sir, I..

04:51Say whatever you want to say.

04:53Sir, I am your friend.

04:54Delhi. Punjabi.

04:58September born.

04:59I deserve this much.

05:01I am telling you, a day in life of Akshay Kumar

05:03is different from the rest of the country.

05:05In our life, we wake up in the morning, have breakfast,

05:08talk to our girlfriends, enjoy the night and go to sleep.

05:10This man wakes up in the morning.

05:11Today, I will jump from the 12th floor.

05:12Today, I will jump from the 20th floor.

05:13Today, I will jump from the helicopter and cross the sea.

05:15Today, I will jump from the terrace.

05:1811..

05:20He has a team of 11 guys.

05:22Why don't you make him do all this?

05:23If I had a team of 11 guys,

05:25I would have made him do everything except for the honeymoon.

05:29If I had a team of 11 guys,

05:30I would have told them to do it from my side too.

05:34I reached his house at 9 am.

05:35I woke up at 9.45 am and reached there at 9.45 am.

05:37I found out that he has been awake for six hours.

05:40He has a competition with the sun.

05:43Why don't you do comedy?

05:44You are trying to be the number one comedian in India

05:46by saying all this, aren't you?

05:49Son, the comedy that you are doing,

05:50I do it from 12 am to 4.30 am.

05:55You sleep from 12 am to 4.30 am, don't you?

05:57You are in sleep.

05:58Exactly. I do it in sleep.

06:02I do it in sleep.

06:05What else were you saying?

06:06You have a misunderstanding.

06:08Look, it is said that actors cannot do comedy.

06:13He is the one who has a misunderstanding.

06:14He says that he has been doing comedy for five years.

06:16For five years.

06:17Were you doing comedy for five years?

06:19No. Were you doing comedy for five years?

06:21Only this many people come to watch your show.

06:24Only this many people come.

06:28Only this many people come.

06:29In the fight scenes of our films,

06:30when the villain hits,

06:31only this many people fall down like this.

06:34And son, all your fans are fans of my house.

06:37They keep roaming around.

06:40My one is okay.

06:41He told me that I jump off buildings and helicopters.

06:45Yes. All that is okay.

06:46But what does this man say?

06:48What does this guy say?

06:49He says that he has a girlfriend.

06:53Why? Can't I have a girlfriend?

06:54If this man has a girlfriend,

06:56then my last five films were blockbusters.

06:59That's it.

07:02Look, the thing is that now you have become a real comedian.

07:04The first rule of comedy is that you have to make a joke on yourself.

07:07That you have to make a joke on yourself.

07:08So you have passed the first stage.

07:10Now you are learning comedy.

07:11Come on. Don't teach your father.

07:12Come on. Let's do comedy. Come on.

07:14Come on.

07:15Let's go ahead.

07:17Look at their behavior.

07:19Look at their talks.

07:19Don't teach your father.

07:21He will kill the child.

07:23Sister got scared. Sister got scared.

07:26Just make them say bad things.

07:28Son, if there were no bad things, you wouldn't have been born.

07:34I was born because of you.

07:36My childhood was ruined because of you.

07:37We are four brothers and sisters.

07:38So is it my fault?

07:40No. Is it my fault or my father's fault?

07:46I am telling you, I am sitting on a throne today.

07:48I am sitting on bread and butter.

07:49But I didn't get it.

07:51Son, do you want to sit on bread and butter every day?

08:00I am telling you, my mother has cut me so much.

08:03Were you bald before?

08:05What do you mean? I am still bald.

08:07I am not a shape-shifting snake that I can change my name.

08:10I mean, my mother was bald before.

08:12He was bald too.

08:13Whenever he used to come on TV,

08:14my mother used to say, Akshay Kumar, he is your uncle.

08:17So, greet your uncle.

08:19Imagine, four innocent brothers and sisters

08:21are standing with their hands together on TV.

08:22Uncle doesn't care about the bell.

08:25Uncle, it's raining.

08:29Uncle, my heart is burning.

08:32Uncle, I don't feel like listening to you.

08:36In the night, no control.

08:41Uncle, I am struggling with Rekha.

08:44Mom is asking me to touch uncle's feet.

08:46I said, Rekha, if you want, I can touch you.

08:50Now, I have understood that in my youth,

08:52uncle was being cut by me.

08:55I have seen such a rich man who has started making relationships.

08:59And he is saying, he greets in front of the TV.

09:01It's been 15 minutes.

09:02You didn't even touch his feet.

09:03Uncle, I will do it right now.

09:04He is touching his feet.

09:07These are his feet.

09:08I don't know what I taught you at home.

09:10I didn't teach you this.

09:10Son, whenever I tell you to touch his feet,

09:12touch something else and come.

09:14At least, use your brains.

09:16It's not my fault.

09:17Akshay Kumar said, this is what Akshay Kumar enjoys.

09:19This is what he enjoys.

09:22This is not an Emmy Award.

09:26I think, as he is doing this comedy,

09:28I think I am the first nephew in the world

09:30whose uncle is a scoundrel.

09:32Don't you think so?

09:34So, being a scoundrel is a good thing.

09:36No.

09:36People laugh.

09:37They laugh when they hear such things.

09:39Are you laughing or not?

09:40Yes.

09:41You are laughing, right?

09:42You will laugh more now.

09:45I want to tell you that people these days,

09:47when they hit people,

09:48I think they wake up at 4.30 in the morning

09:51because they can hit people more.

09:53They get more time.

09:54And when they hit people, we remember,

09:56that these days, you are getting beaten up a lot on the internet.

09:59I am getting beaten up.

10:00These days, people are saying..

10:00What's new?

10:02People are saying that Akshay..

10:03They are hitting the entire industry.

10:07Yes, tell me.

10:07People are saying that Akshay does so many movies,

10:10four or five, and he is becoming rich.

10:12He is earning money.

10:13This and that. I have denied all these things.

10:15I said, this is all a rumour.

10:16There is no wealth.

10:16There is no money.

10:17I asked for money from a person for this show.

10:19This person said, I don't have a budget.

10:21Don't you have a budget for me?

10:22Of course, I do.

10:23Of course, I do.

10:24Son, we make a budget by looking at people.

10:26Understood?

10:27And no one will give you Rs. 6,000.

10:30Look at his face.

10:31Will anyone give him Rs. 6,000?

10:34Brother, I..

10:35Now, he will understand.

10:36You understood, right?

10:38Now, when his joke will fall on him,

10:41then he will understand.

10:42I never thought that my joke will fall on me.

10:45Oh, son, he is making a joke.

10:48Oh, he is making a joke.

10:50Hey, tell me.

10:52This man has climbed a mountain

10:53and has returned without eating Maggi.

10:56This man.

10:57This man made a joke.

10:58Why are you calling me dry?

11:00Isn't this man dry?

11:01Isn't he a party man?

11:02Why? How am I dry?

11:05I am telling you.

11:05Yes, tell me.

11:06Tell me.

11:08You stared at me so hard that I got wet.

11:14Hey, tell me.

11:16I am telling you.

11:17This man doesn't party.

11:18This man doesn't get drunk.

11:20This man is stuck in a household life.

11:22What is the use?

11:22He is a Punjabi from Delhi.

11:23He is not drinking alcohol.

11:24Why?

11:25Don't Punjabis in Delhi drink alcohol?

11:26Don't they have an Aadhaar card?

11:29What do you think?

11:30What do you think about Punjabis?

11:32Do we take vodka shots instead of polio drops?

11:35Are you mad?

11:36By the way, shall I tell you something?

11:38Such people have defamed us, the Punjabis.

11:41I swear.

11:42Are we Punjabis like this?

11:44No, not at all.

11:44Whatever we eat and drink,

11:46if you drink alcohol, you won't remain dry.

11:49You will become wet.

11:50How do you become wet?

11:51I was saying that I am not dry.

11:52I am sorry.

11:54I mean to say that you are earning so much money.

11:56Men have such hobbies.

11:58We are groupies.

11:59We have lakhs of rupees.

12:00We make trips to Bangkok to take massages.

12:02Where are you doing all this?

12:03You are thinking about Bangkok, kid.

12:06You started going to Bangkok.

12:07Now tell me.

12:09I started from there.

12:11What?

12:13I started from there.

12:15When you were taking that happy ending,

12:18I took a happy start from there.

12:20Oh, I see.

12:22I was wondering why my hands are so stiff

12:24when I am giving a massage.

12:25Yes.

12:26I was also wondering the same.

12:27I was looking for something.

12:31Malini.

12:32Brother.

12:35Now tell them about yourself.

12:37I am a boy from Kanpur.

12:39Okay, so you are from Kanpur.

12:41Yes, brother.

12:42I am famous for Paan Masala.

12:43Paan Masala?

12:44Yes.

12:44Do you eat it or not?

12:45No, brother. I have stopped eating Paan Masala.

12:47By the way, you are famous for Leather Belt too.

12:49By the way, you are famous for Kanpur too.

12:51What?

12:52Tamanche.

12:52Will you kill the kid?

12:54Will he eat it?

12:55Play.

12:56Play.

13:03He is my uncle.

13:05You are killing the kid.

13:07I want to tell you that you..

13:09You have done martial arts.

13:10You want to do comedy.

13:12You want to do acting too.

13:13What should we do?

13:14Should we go to the jungles naked?

13:15He is doing four to five films a year.

13:17He is doing four to five films a year.

13:19People are crying.

13:19I will do five.

13:20What do you want?

13:21Why are you doing four to five films?

13:22I am tired of this thing.

13:24I don't understand what is the problem with people.

13:27What is the problem with doing four to five films?

13:30Don't you feel good that I am doing four to five films?

13:33A man is working hard.

13:35So many crews get work.

13:38He pays so much tax.

13:39It is good for the country.

13:41Still, such people are being pointed at.

13:45I don't know what to do.

13:47I don't want to do four to five films.

13:49Should I sit at home for a year?

13:51Should I have four to five kids like your father did?

13:56Tell me something.

13:57If his father had done four to five films..

13:59..then he would have been the only one.

14:01He wouldn't have done four to five films.

14:03He would have been the only one.

14:05He would have got all the property.

14:07How much trouble would he have in his house?

14:11He should have property too.

14:12He should have property too.

14:14You are right.

14:15But he should have property too.

14:17Whatever it is.

14:18Property.

14:20What do you want?

14:22Should I have four to five kids and keep you as a servant?

14:24Will you become a servant at my house?

14:26No, brother.

14:27I don't want a servant.

14:27Keep me as a child in those four to five kids.

14:32He has seen it.

14:33He has seen my property.

14:36Will you keep me as a servant?

14:37Brother, I am more educated than him.

14:39He started from a waiter.

14:40I have done engineering.

14:41I have done MBA.

14:42I have original degrees.

14:43This man has a fake degree.

14:44He is a plastic surgeon.

14:46He has a degree in plastic.

14:48He wants to make oranges into Kalingar.

14:50Tell me how do you make oranges into Kalingar?

14:52What do you mean?

14:53Should I do it and tell you?

14:54I am telling you the truth.

14:55There are such people.

14:56I remember my childhood.

14:58Whenever a guest used to come to my house.

15:01Always.

15:02Son.

15:03Do one thing.

15:04Breakdance and show me.

15:05It must be happening all the time.

15:07You are having me also.

15:08I don't know why.

15:09Whenever a guest comes to my house, why do we dance?

15:12I don't know why we are dancing.

15:14I don't know.

15:14My family used to make me do strange things.

15:16Okay. Don't tell me how to make oranges into Kalingar.

15:19This is a ladies department.

15:21Do you make men small or big?

15:23Do you want to make me do it?

15:24You tell me. Do you want to make me do it?

15:26By the way, he looks like he wants to do it.

15:29He looks like he wants to do it.

15:31If you are here for 3-4 days, you can make me do it.

15:33It will be long.

15:34Even Khanpur will become famous for something else.

15:40I want to say it again.

15:41He is my uncle.

15:43Sir, you are in Delhi.

15:44I am in Delhi.

15:45Do you agree?

15:46I have heard a lot about Paranthewali Gali.

15:48I have heard a lot about it.

15:49But I don't want to know anything about Paranthewali Gali.

15:51I just..

15:52Everyone has a love story of that time.

15:53I want to know about Paranthewali Gali of that time.

15:56Son, if there was one Paranthewali, you would have told me.

15:59There are many. What should I do now?

16:00Whom should I tell?

16:02Do you still talk to them or what have you learnt?

16:05Now, those Paranthas..

16:08I mean Paranthawalis have small puris.

16:10What do you want to talk about now?

16:14So, what do you do now?

16:15I mean, are you idle or something?

16:16I read poems. What else?

16:18What is the matter?

16:19If you read poems, then read a poem for the love you remember..

16:22..the one whom you love.

16:24So that even we get to know..

16:26Twinkle, twinkle little star.

16:27How I wonder what you are.

16:29I just keep reading this.

16:32Sir, I didn't understand much from the poem.

16:34But I got to know that..

16:35Tell me, you are the biggest action hero of India.

16:38You can clap for this once.

16:39The biggest.

16:41So, did you propose to Twinkle ma'am..

16:43..by kneeling down or by doing push-ups..

16:45..or dumbbells?

16:46If you are a comedian, then you will propose to people by tickling them.

16:50If Mr. Budhas is the director..

16:52..then he will say action and start the nuptial night.

16:55That cameraman..

16:56If he is a cameraman, then he will make a video of his nuptial night..

16:58..and show it to the kids.

16:59I mean, if you want to say something in the name of comedy..

17:02..then keep talking. Keep talking.

17:03At least think about what you want to say.

17:06At least think of something.

17:08If I want to propose, then I will do push-ups first.

17:11Who does this?

17:13Who does this?

17:14If you say, then I will just stand like this.

17:17What should I do with him?

17:20What should I do with him in PJ Support Lotion?

17:25By the way, it is very difficult to make your place in the industry.

17:27I agree to this.

17:28And did you ever think that a guy from Chandni Chowk..

17:31..will become such a big superstar?

17:32Why? Are people from Chandni Chowk crazy?

17:35I had thought about it. I had thought about it.

17:37That's why I worked so hard.

17:39In our Chandni Chowk, this is the system.

17:41First we think, then we do it.

17:45I had thought that I will work hard and give auditions.

17:47That's it. It has started.

17:49It's not like that. What did you think?

17:50In the morning, you will wake up and the director will say..

17:53..ready, action. The heroine will come and sit on the bed..

17:55..and everything will start.

17:56Are you mad?

17:57Now, when a guy from Kanpur can become a comedian..

18:00..then a guy from Chandni Chowk can go to the moon.

18:02Why can't he go?

18:06What's the use of working so hard to become a star?

18:09I have read somewhere that this man's expenses are Rs. 5000.

18:11Where will you take this crore rupees?

18:12Do one thing. Be my aunt.

18:15Be my aunt.

18:16And keep an eye on me. I don't know what's wrong with comedians.

18:20I go to Kapil Sharma's show. He is also after me.

18:22Sir, you earn so much. This and that.

18:25He is also after me. What's the problem with earning?

18:28You want to get your sister married to me?

18:31That how much I am earning.

18:33I don't know what's wrong with comedians.

18:35They look like idiots.

18:38Sir, I don't want to be a comedian.

18:39I want to do movies. I want to become an actor.

18:42Come to the point.

18:43I want to tell you that when you can do a movie with these people..

18:47..then what's wrong with me?

18:49Your face.

18:49Is there any problem?

18:51He said it. Your friend said it. His face.

18:53His face is deep.

18:55He..

18:56Did you hit him hard?

18:56No, I didn't hit him hard.

18:58No, it's not hard. He must have kept the front camera open.

19:00Tell me.

19:01Look at your intelligence.

19:03She has studied law.

19:04Yes, she has studied law.

19:05But she didn't become a lawyer.

19:07You entered Miss India also, right?

19:09But you didn't become Miss India.

19:13Now she is acting.

19:19No, she is acting.

19:21You are smart.

19:22You got the best debutant award.

19:26You got it at the film fair.

19:27Yes.

19:28You got it at the film fair, right?

19:29Yes.

19:30Do one thing. Think of it as your lifetime achievement.

19:32Oh, my God!

19:57A big round of applause.

19:5915th of August.

20:00In Khel Khel,

20:02these superstars, this super cast.

20:05Mr. Akshay, of course. Mr. Aditya.

20:06Mr. Mudassir is the director.

20:07And Pragya, this is your first film.

20:10I am doing it.

20:11Absolutely. This is the first one.

20:12This is Mr. Fardeen's comeback.

20:13I think we are very excited.

20:14Once..

20:15Don't make noise and tell us how excited you are.

20:17Wow!

20:19Go and tell everyone about this film.

20:21Thank you so much for coming, everyone.

20:23I hope you like the show.

20:24I hope you laugh for the first time in your life.

20:26We have tried a lot.

20:28Thank you so much. Have a great time.

20:29Bye-bye. See you.

Akshay Kumar x Harsh Gujral | Roast Standup Comedy

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