A Perfect Life-HD
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I am a haunted house, and she is the ghost in the attic, turning on lights, stomping
00:00:23on the floor, and making herself known in every reflection I see.
00:00:29She's there, she's always there, to remind me of how lonely the world can be, to remind
00:00:37me that we are all fragile.
00:00:40I am there, with her, up those stairs, sitting in the dark, planning our future together.
00:00:48A future we will never have, a future I will never deserve.
00:00:56I am an exorcist, purging her with pigment.
00:01:03If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be?
00:01:23One thing?
00:01:25One thing's all I get?
00:01:28One thing's all I get, I don't want to play this game.
00:01:35I want to be President of the United States.
00:01:38That's right.
00:01:40That way I can declare a state of anarchy.
00:01:44I want to be a movie star, a big fucking movie star, live in a big fucking house, make big
00:01:53fucking movies.
00:01:58I want to be the love child of Sid Vicious and Molly Ringwald.
00:02:07I don't want to sit up all night in an all-night diner and order nothing.
00:02:13I want to be God, for the sole purpose of saying, I brought you into this world, don't
00:02:17think for one minute I won't take you out.
00:02:24I want the original promise.
00:02:28I want justice for all.
00:02:32I want love, hate, ups and downs, and everything in between, for nothing in return.
00:02:45I want the world in my palm.
00:02:48No cooler than 60 degrees, no warmer than 75, and never a cloud in the sky.
00:02:58I want the perfect kiss, the perfect imperfection, the perfect life.
00:03:09But more than anything, I want someone who wants what I want.
00:03:15And I want her to walk through that door right over there, and order biscuits and gravy.
00:03:28Hi.
00:03:29Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:31I bet your kids are adorable.
00:03:35Oh, it's okay, I already know what I want.
00:03:38Okay.
00:03:39I'll have the biscuits and gravy, please.
00:03:42Same.
00:03:43Okay, two biscuits and gravy, anything to drink?
00:03:45Coffee's fine.
00:03:46Alright.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:49I'm Brian.
00:03:50Bella.
00:03:51Nice to meet you, Bella.
00:03:53She blew into my life like a storm, uprooting everything I knew to be true, and filling
00:03:59it with so much more.
00:04:02She became everything I never knew I wanted, in a single glance, in a moment, in a straight
00:04:10conversation.
00:04:12And that slight smile that started with the curling of her toes and ended at the corner
00:04:16of her lips, just before she burst into laughter, she became it.
00:04:25She became perfection.
00:04:32Cool.
00:04:33So.
00:04:34So.
00:04:35Morrissey or The Cure?
00:04:37Uh, The Cure, yeah.
00:04:39Beatles or Stones?
00:04:40The Stones.
00:04:41King of Pop or King of Rock?
00:04:43King of Rock, definitely.
00:04:46Well, Elvis is always fascinating.
00:04:48How so?
00:04:50Well, here's this normal guy that accidentally got famous.
00:04:53I mean, he wrote a song that was for his dad, or his uncle, or something like that, for
00:04:58their birthday.
00:04:59And the next thing you know, he's a teen idol.
00:05:02Watching his life is like watching a tree grow.
00:05:06It gets bigger and bigger.
00:05:08And then he ends up swollen and yellow.
00:05:14It's like he was on a satellite somewhere in outer space, watching himself.
00:05:20And that's what it did to him.
00:05:22Are you saying that Elvis was an alien?
00:05:25Hello, darling.
00:05:27This is Elvis from the planet of Graceland.
00:05:29I just want to thank you for coming out on a date with me this evening.
00:05:34You know what I like about you?
00:05:36What's that?
00:05:37You're full of shits.
00:05:39I think I just got a little on my shirt.
00:05:42Oh, I apologize.
00:05:44Sorry about that.
00:05:45You better be.
00:05:47To Elvis.
00:05:49To Elvis.
00:05:51Elvis, yellow and swollen.
00:05:55How could I have known even then, in a moment of such happiness, the longitude
00:06:00and latitude of my fall from Graceland?
00:06:05Hours went by.
00:06:07Day turns to night, night to day.
00:06:10Small talk turns to talk of dreams and aspirations.
00:06:15First date eyes become the eyes that you take for granted.
00:06:19I hang on every word she says.
00:06:22And those hours that became days become weeks.
00:06:26And we were married on a Saturday.
00:06:30And those weeks became months.
00:06:33And Cole, our first daughter, was born as sweet as sugar.
00:06:38And those months became a year.
00:06:40And that year became four years.
00:06:42And Sarah, our second daughter, was born.
00:06:45Born sick.
00:06:47And that sickness drove Bella into darkness.
00:06:50And she began to wither and die.
00:06:54And me.
00:06:56I became Elvis.
00:06:59Yellow and swollen.
00:07:01Watching my life unfold from a satellite somewhere in space.
00:07:07Counting the rings of my tree.
00:07:10And forever.
00:07:11Counting the rings of my tree.
00:07:14And forever wondering how this
00:07:17perfect life came to be.
00:07:41I'll be right there, honey.
00:08:11Ooh!
00:08:17Whoa!
00:08:23Yay!
00:08:25Well, I think you got dog poo in your hair.
00:08:28Did I?
00:08:29Yeah!
00:08:31Yuck! Where did you get the dog poo in your hair?
00:08:35Here, I think we need to wash it out.
00:08:38Okay, then let's wash it out.
00:08:42Alright, here we go.
00:08:44Here, turn over.
00:08:46Lean back.
00:08:48Lean back. There we go.
00:08:49No, you want to lean back.
00:08:51No, the other way.
00:08:52Because if you lean back, then I won't be able to dress.
00:08:54Hold my hands.
00:08:55Hold her hands.
00:08:56Lean back.
00:08:57There we go.
00:08:58Oh, that feels good, right?
00:08:59There we go.
00:09:01Yay, good girl!
00:09:05There it is.
00:09:07Oh, yes!
00:09:09Standing on the shoulders of children.
00:09:12Innocent eyes that gaze upon the world with wondrous excitement.
00:09:17You will probably never know me.
00:09:20You will probably not remember me.
00:09:23But someday, when you're older,
00:09:25your mother will show you a photograph
00:09:28and tell you my story.
00:09:30A story filled with self-abandon and regret.
00:09:34Regret that I will not be there for your report cards.
00:09:39For proms.
00:09:41For graduations.
00:09:43To give you both away at your weddings.
00:09:47I always wanted to be the one to teach you to drive.
00:09:51To navigate life with that same beautiful innocence that fills your youthful spirit today.
00:09:57To hope.
00:09:59To strive.
00:10:01To dream.
00:10:04But you are only three feet tall
00:10:06and already bigger than me.
00:10:26Good morning.
00:10:27Time to get up.
00:10:29My water broke, Brian.
00:10:31Huh?
00:10:32Brian!
00:10:33I just thought I was having a wet dream.
00:10:35Oh, funny.
00:10:37Come on, get up.
00:10:38Who?
00:10:39Hello?
00:10:40Oh, really?
00:10:41I can't reach you.
00:10:42Come on.
00:10:43I'll get up.
00:10:44Feel this thing.
00:10:45It's coming out.
00:10:46It's coming out.
00:10:47Please.
00:10:48All right.
00:10:49I'm just trying to keep you from panicking.
00:10:50All right.
00:10:52All right.
00:10:54Yeah, take your time.
00:10:55Well, I'm trying.
00:10:56Look, I can't go to the hospital naked.
00:10:57Why not?
00:10:59That would be awkward.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:02All right.
00:11:03Which hospital are we going to?
00:11:04You don't know which hospital we're going to?
00:11:06Yes, I know which hospital.
00:11:09Which hospital are we going to?
00:11:10I don't know.
00:11:11Let's go.
00:11:12I got it.
00:11:14Okay.
00:11:15Okay.
00:11:16Okay.
00:11:17Calm down.
00:11:18Okay.
00:11:19Calm down.
00:11:20What are you doing?
00:11:22Oh.
00:11:24Watch the hose.
00:11:25Got it.
00:11:26Something with more water than you.
00:11:27Oh, come on.
00:11:29Reese's, you stay right there.
00:11:31And...
00:11:32Okay.
00:11:33Okay.
00:11:35Let's get this.
00:11:37Okay.
00:11:38Oh.
00:11:39All right.
00:11:40Why is it a damn car?
00:11:41Oh, God.
00:11:42We're going to have to detail the car after this.
00:11:44Okay.
00:11:45What are you doing?
00:11:48Okay.
00:11:49You ready?
00:11:50Oh, baby.
00:11:51I'm ready.
00:11:52Are you ready?
00:11:53You seem a little frazzled.
00:11:54Yes.
00:11:55I'm frazzled, yes.
00:11:56Just breathe.
00:11:58Okay.
00:11:59Maybe...
00:12:01Cole should drive.
00:12:02Cole should drive.
00:12:04Cole!
00:12:32Shh.
00:12:33It's okay.
00:12:34It's okay.
00:12:35I'm going to go for a walk.
00:13:03Hello?
00:13:05Are you busy?
00:13:07Brian, are you okay?
00:13:09I just needed to talk to someone.
00:13:12I'll wait up.
00:13:21Time.
00:13:23It is now.
00:13:25Time.
00:13:27It's time.
00:13:28Let's go.
00:13:29Time, it moves so slowly when you have nothing to do but think.
00:13:36To remember the beginning, to dwell on the end, and to be haunted by everything in between.
00:13:45To be haunted by that word, that undefinable word, as undefinable as God, yet a word I
00:13:54thought I knew intimately.
00:13:58Perfection.
00:14:00The perfect wife, the perfect children, the house, the dog, the job, the two-car garage,
00:14:07the diapers, the joint bank account, piano recitals, tap shoes.
00:14:15The American dream, an idea that became an ideal.
00:14:21It's Friday.
00:14:22Is it recycling or yard waste today?
00:14:52Have you ever stood naked, alone, and out of reach?
00:15:22The way Sarah cries, I can't help her.
00:15:38And the way Bella cries, she doesn't want me to help her.
00:15:43I just want...
00:15:46I know.
00:15:49Well, I don't.
00:15:52Once upon a time, maybe, but not anymore.
00:15:56You want too much.
00:15:59No, I don't.
00:16:00I just want...
00:16:02Your list is too long, and I'm too tired.
00:16:07But I only want it to be perfect.
00:16:09Well, it's not.
00:16:11You never would have started fucking me.
00:16:20Do you have any idea what it's like to want something that you can't have?
00:16:29What do you want?
00:16:32I want you.
00:16:34And you want her.
00:16:37But you don't want her.
00:16:39You want the idea of her.
00:16:41And what you don't understand, Brian, is that you've idealized your life away.
00:16:47But I want you.
00:16:50I don't know what you want, but you don't want me.
00:16:54I'm just another part of the ideal, and I'm not perfect.
00:16:59But you're perfect to me.
00:17:04I don't want kids.
00:17:06I'm a cat person.
00:17:08I need time alone more than that.
00:17:10I need time with people.
00:17:13But I already know all of this.
00:17:15And I love you for you.
00:17:18How can you love me when she gives you everything?
00:17:23Everything I want, but nothing I need.
00:17:26This.
00:17:28Right here, right now, this is what I need.
00:17:32I need her to hold me like she used to.
00:17:43To hold me so close, like we're the same person.
00:17:48Like this.
00:17:50Like what we have.
00:17:54We have a dance and a photograph.
00:18:04Kim was right.
00:18:07She had become the band-aid for a wound that would not heal.
00:18:11And no matter how much of her I stripped away,
00:18:15she would never fit into the mold.
00:18:18And no matter how much of her I stripped away,
00:18:21she would never fit into the mold Bella had created.
00:18:25What if I'd be more alone with you?
00:18:29Without you?
00:18:32Without you?
00:18:46She was right about a lot of things.
00:18:49One day you wake up and you realize
00:18:51that everything you ever wanted
00:18:54turned out to be nothing you ever wanted at all.
00:18:58Even the big things become as trivial as watermelon.
00:19:13Sarah finally fell asleep.
00:19:15I swear this colic is going to kill me.
00:19:19Hmm.
00:19:26You smell like cigarettes and watermelon.
00:19:31Hmm.
00:19:33Hmm.
00:19:35Hmm.
00:19:55Morning sunshine.
00:19:57Hey, beautiful.
00:19:59Hi.
00:20:01Hmm.
00:20:04Are you doing anything for lunch today?
00:20:06No.
00:20:08Did you want to do something?
00:20:10I was thinking about stopping by.
00:20:13I'd like that.
00:20:15Hmm.
00:20:32What time did you come in last night?
00:20:36What's that honey?
00:20:38What time did you come in last night?
00:20:41I don't know. I didn't really look at the clock.
00:20:44I didn't even hear you come in.
00:20:46Really?
00:20:48Well, I gave you a kiss goodnight.
00:20:51You rolled over. I thought I woke you up.
00:20:54No.
00:20:58You know, one of these days I'm going to get a call from Canada.
00:21:02You're going to be missing a sock.
00:21:04You're going to have a new tattoo of a heart
00:21:06and some sailor's name on your ass.
00:21:08And you're going to say,
00:21:10I don't know where I was, but I woke up in a car that wasn't mine
00:21:14with some large man and a unitard offering me a sip of bourbon.
00:21:18Hmm.
00:21:21Here's your other sock, sailor.
00:21:35You're so sexy when you have your drafty face on.
00:21:37Hey, beautiful.
00:21:39Want to go get some lunch or something?
00:21:41Yeah, I was thinking we could go down to the waterfront.
00:21:44But first I need to use the restroom.
00:21:46Yeah, just at the end of the hall to the left.
00:21:49Well, aren't you forgetting something?
00:21:51What would that be?
00:21:53Do I have to ask?
00:22:04Hi.
00:22:05Hi.
00:22:07You look good.
00:22:08Oh, thanks.
00:22:09How are you?
00:22:10I'm good.
00:22:11I just stopped by for lunch.
00:22:12I think we're going to go to the waterfront.
00:22:14Did you want to come?
00:22:15I can't.
00:22:16Thanks, though.
00:22:17I've already got plans.
00:22:18That's too bad.
00:22:19We don't hang out enough.
00:22:20I know.
00:22:21We should see each other more often.
00:22:23Oh, that's pretty.
00:22:24What is it?
00:22:25Thanks.
00:22:26I think it's called posh, but it tastes like watermelon.
00:22:29Watermelon.
00:22:31I like it.
00:22:34So how have you been?
00:22:36Good.
00:22:37You know, kids and stuff.
00:22:40Yeah, we've got some clients like that.
00:22:43Well, it's good to see you.
00:22:46I've got to get back to work.
00:22:48Yeah, good to see you, too.
00:22:50Watermelon.
00:22:52Watermelon.
00:22:54Watermelon.
00:22:56Watermelon.
00:22:58Watermelon.
00:23:00Watermelon.
00:23:02Watermelon.
00:23:05Thanks.
00:23:17You haven't touched your food.
00:23:29I'm not as hungry as I thought I was.
00:23:35I think she does, doesn't she?
00:23:37Uh-huh.
00:23:38Yeah, she does.
00:23:39Uh-huh.
00:23:40Look, she does.
00:23:41She does have a purple hair.
00:23:43Oh, she does, doesn't she?
00:23:45Yeah, pink.
00:23:46Yeah.
00:23:47Bella?
00:23:48Bella?
00:23:49Are you okay?
00:23:50Yeah.
00:23:51Bella?
00:23:52If you want to talk, you can talk.
00:23:55No, I don't want to talk.
00:23:58I don't want to talk.
00:24:02If you want to talk.
00:24:04Mom, I'm fine.
00:24:05I'm fine.
00:24:06I'm fine.
00:24:07It's okay.
00:24:08I just...
00:24:09Right out here if you need anything.
00:24:10I'm fine.
00:24:31Oh my God.
00:24:47Everything's gonna be okay.
00:24:48Everything's gonna be okay.
00:24:49Everything's gonna be okay.
00:25:01Hey little angels, how are you doing, what are you doing, going on a show, hi, is mommy
00:25:16cooking?
00:25:17Something smells good.
00:25:18Cooking baby.
00:25:19Something smells good.
00:25:21How was work?
00:25:22I told my new clients a total prick and that was good.
00:25:23It was nice to see you today for lunch.
00:25:24You should do that more often.
00:25:25Yeah.
00:25:26I'll let you go.
00:25:27Come on.
00:25:28Hey.
00:25:29Hey.
00:25:30Hey.
00:25:31Hey.
00:25:32Hey.
00:25:33Hey.
00:25:34Hey.
00:25:35Hey.
00:25:36Hey.
00:25:37Hey.
00:25:38Hey.
00:25:39Hey.
00:25:40Hey.
00:25:41Hey.
00:25:42Hey.
00:25:43Hey.
00:25:44Hey.
00:25:45Hey.
00:25:46Hey.
00:25:47Hey.
00:25:48Hey.
00:25:50Hey.
00:25:51Hey.
00:26:10She knew.
00:26:11Nothing more needed to be said, she knew.
00:26:15And the thought came to her as quickly as a bullet.
00:26:19A bullet expelled from a gun that I had cleaned,
00:26:22oiled, aimed, and fired.
00:26:28Dearest Bella, I miss you.
00:26:45I miss you.
00:27:10Oh my God!
00:27:11Bella!
00:27:12Bella!
00:27:13Bella, what the...
00:27:14Fuck! Oh my God!
00:27:16Bella!
00:27:17Jesus Christ.
00:27:20Fuck.
00:27:23Oh my God.
00:27:25Oh my God.
00:27:27Oh my God.
00:27:28Oh God.
00:27:29911, what's your emergency?
00:27:31My wife just cut her wrist.
00:27:33I need an ambulance at 612 Forest Street.
00:27:37Sir, I need you to calm down.
00:27:39Can you do that for me?
00:27:40Yeah.
00:27:41The ambulance is on its way.
00:27:43I need to know, sir, is she still breathing?
00:27:48Yeah.
00:27:51I need you to stop the bleeding.
00:27:53What is your name, sir?
00:27:54Ryan.
00:27:55Ryan, I need you to apply pressure above the laceration
00:27:59and lift her up above the level of her heart.
00:28:02Can you do that for me?
00:28:03Yeah, but I have to put the phone down.
00:28:05That's okay, Ryan.
00:28:06Put the phone down.
00:28:07Oh God.
00:28:08Don't hang up.
00:28:09Don't hang up.
00:28:10Oh God.
00:28:11Oh God.
00:28:12Oh God.
00:28:27Oh my God.
00:28:31Oh my God.
00:28:41Oh my God.
00:29:12Thank you for calling Jennings Architecture.
00:29:15It is currently after hours, but if you have an emergency,
00:29:18you may contact a representative at 555-4868
00:29:24or stay on the line and leave a message.
00:29:30Hey, John.
00:29:31This is Brian.
00:29:34I'm having a family emergency,
00:29:36so I'm just calling to let you know
00:29:38I won't be to work for a couple days,
00:29:40so I'll probably see you next Monday.
00:29:43Bye.
00:30:09Bella died for 48 seconds.
00:30:13I have been dying ever since.
00:30:17As her heart slowed and stopped,
00:30:19I realized at that very moment
00:30:21something I should have always known.
00:30:25She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:32She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:39She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:45She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:51She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:57She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:31:03She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:31:08She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:31:34I remember when I met your mother.
00:31:37She was beautiful.
00:31:41It's not that she's not beautiful, she's gorgeous.
00:31:46It's just...
00:31:48I'm used to her.
00:31:52I don't even know why I did it.
00:31:54It was stupid.
00:31:59It's not commitment that I have a problem with.
00:32:03It's contentment.
00:32:07It's like no matter how good I have it,
00:32:09it's never good enough.
00:32:14It's no one's fault.
00:32:23I just fucked up.
00:32:36I'm sorry.
00:32:50Harborview Medical Center.
00:32:52Yeah, this is Brian Sanders.
00:32:54I'm calling to see how my wife's doing.
00:32:56What is her name, please?
00:32:58Bella Sanders.
00:33:07Your wife is in stable condition.
00:33:09She should be released sometime this evening or tomorrow morning.
00:33:14Okay.
00:33:37Fuck.
00:33:50She's sleeping, Brian.
00:33:52Okay. Thank you.
00:34:07She doesn't want to talk yet, Brian.
00:34:10I just want to make sure she's okay.
00:34:12I think it's going to be a long time before she's okay.
00:34:37Hello?
00:34:39Hi, Gary. Is Bella there?
00:34:41We'll call you when she's ready.
00:35:06Okay.
00:35:28Brian, she's just not ready yet.
00:35:31Can I at least see the girls?
00:35:33Hold on.
00:35:37What time do you get off tomorrow?
00:35:39Whenever you want.
00:35:42Meet me at Owens Beach around one.
00:35:46Thank you so much.
00:35:48I'll see you tomorrow.
00:35:52I'm going to see you all tomorrow.
00:35:55All right.
00:36:07Hi.
00:36:10Oh.
00:36:12There you go. Hey.
00:36:15Did it happen to come by?
00:36:17There you go. Come on.
00:36:20There you go. There's Teddy.
00:36:22There she is. Hi.
00:36:24Oh, look who's here to see you.
00:36:26Oh, I know.
00:36:27Here, come on.
00:36:29Gary, who's excited?
00:36:31Okay.
00:36:32Get this off.
00:36:33I feel like a magician.
00:36:34Okay, you ready?
00:36:35I'll trade you.
00:36:36Okay.
00:36:39There she is.
00:36:42Come on.
00:36:43Come on.
00:36:44Hey.
00:36:48Hold on here.
00:36:51It's good to see you guys.
00:36:53Yeah.
00:36:56What's up?
00:36:58What's up?
00:37:00What's up?
00:37:01What's up?
00:37:03How have you been?
00:37:04Huh?
00:37:05Oh, she's good.
00:37:07How has she been?
00:37:08Oh.
00:37:10Always doing interesting things.
00:37:12Oh, yeah.
00:37:14Character.
00:37:15Come on.
00:37:17There you go.
00:37:19Yeah.
00:37:23Oh.
00:37:27Ready?
00:37:32Okay.
00:37:39There she is.
00:37:40Come on.
00:37:41Let's get out and see the day, huh?
00:37:44There you go.
00:37:45Hi.
00:37:48There you are, gorgeous.
00:37:49There you go, gorgeous.
00:38:02Thank you so much for bringing the family.
00:38:04It's just the right thing to do.
00:38:08So how are you doing?
00:38:10I just want to know if she's okay.
00:38:13She's really hurt, Brian, and I don't think she's going to forgive you.
00:38:17I can't even forgive myself.
00:38:19I know you love her, and she loves you.
00:38:21You just made a mistake.
00:38:23She doesn't understand that you understand what you've done.
00:38:27She only knows she's hurting because of you.
00:38:35This is either going to drive you farther apart or bring you closer together, but it's not your choice.
00:38:42It's her choice now.
00:38:44I know.
00:38:46You just have to give her time to decide.
00:38:49It's just hard not being able to see her or talk to her.
00:39:03Thanks for coming out today.
00:39:07It's the right thing to do.
00:39:17Come on.
00:39:29My mother has the gift of Catholic guilt, and my dad's going to kick your ass if you keep calling.
00:39:34So how are you doing?
00:39:37If I see a therapist three times a week, the state won't take the kids.
00:39:41How are you?
00:39:42Well, it's over.
00:39:44I told her we're done.
00:39:45It's too late for that.
00:39:47I know I messed up, and I can't go back.
00:39:52But I'm sorry.
00:39:54I'm so sorry.
00:39:56How could you do this to me?
00:39:59How?
00:40:00When I love you so much.
00:40:03I don't know.
00:40:05I love you so much, Brian.
00:40:15I love you.
00:40:25I want a divorce.
00:40:26Bella.
00:40:27I don't want to talk about it.
00:40:29I want a divorce, and I want the kids, and the house and car.
00:40:36And you can give me the dog, okay?
00:40:40Take whatever you want.
00:40:43Could you be out by Friday?
00:40:45If we don't come home soon, Cole's going to know something's wrong.
00:40:48Well, what are you going to tell her when you come home and I'm not here?
00:40:52I'm going to tell her the truth.
00:40:56Okay, she should know.
00:41:04I have to go.
00:41:07Take care of yourself, Brian.
00:41:09Yeah.
00:41:11I love you.
00:41:16Okay.
00:41:18I guess this is it for a while.
00:41:45Bye.
00:42:13Hello.
00:42:14Hi.
00:42:15Where's Kim?
00:42:16Um, I've only been here for a week. I don't think I've met her yet.
00:42:20Thanks.
00:42:21Oh, Mr. Jenny's wanted you to stop by his office and talk about it.
00:42:24Alright, thank you.
00:42:30I've known you for a long time, and I've never seen you like this.
00:42:36I'm sorry, John. I'm just having problems at home.
00:42:39You've missed 43 days in the past three months.
00:42:44And when you do show up, you smell like alcohol.
00:42:49My wife and I are... I don't even know what we are.
00:42:53Which is why it hurts me to do this, but you're really not leaving me any choice.
00:43:00I understand.
00:43:02And I wish you the best. I really do.
00:43:06Thanks.
00:43:14I love you.
00:43:24What I didn't give away, I threw away.
00:43:28I threw it all away.
00:43:30As easily as one throws away the wrapping on a birthday present.
00:43:35I've always been too selfish to understand that it's the wrapping that makes it special.
00:43:41You're fired, he said. In so many words, you're fired from life.
00:43:47For you have failed everyone who has ever loved you.
00:43:51You have failed yourself.
00:43:54And no amount of sorry will make this better.
00:43:57No amount of forgiveness will make me worthy.
00:44:01I deserve the hurt I have caused.
00:44:04And in the end, the last thing I want is to feel better.
00:44:10I love you.
00:44:15I love you.
00:44:37Security.
00:44:40Security.
00:44:49Excuse me, sir.
00:44:52We've had a few noise complaints. I had you top it off.
00:44:55Your credit card has been declined.
00:44:58So we need to get your stuff out right now.
00:45:01Do you have a jacket you want to bring?
00:45:04Is this your jacket?
00:45:06Is this the one?
00:45:07Yeah.
00:45:08Why don't you put that on?
00:45:10Alright, we've got to grab your stuff. What do you want to bring with you?
00:45:18There.
00:45:20Hold on to that.
00:45:22Hold on.
00:45:27Is that all you need?
00:45:29Alright, we're gonna go.
00:45:38I love you.
00:45:44I love you.
00:45:46I love you.
00:45:48I love you.
00:45:50I love you.
00:45:52I love you.
00:45:54I love you.
00:45:56I love you.
00:45:58I love you.
00:46:00I love you.
00:46:02I love you.
00:46:04I love you.
00:46:06I love you.
00:46:08I love you.
00:46:10I love you.
00:46:12I love you.
00:46:13I love you.
00:46:14I love you.
00:46:15I love you.
00:46:16I love you.
00:46:17I love you.
00:46:18I love you.
00:46:19I love you.
00:46:20I love you.
00:46:21I love you.
00:46:22I love you.
00:46:23I love you.
00:46:24I love you.
00:46:25I love you.
00:46:26I love you.
00:46:27I love you.
00:46:28I love you.
00:46:29I love you.
00:46:30I love you.
00:46:31I love you.
00:46:32I love you.
00:46:33I love you.
00:46:34I love you.
00:46:35I love you.
00:46:36I love you.
00:46:38I love you.
00:46:39I love you.
00:46:40I love you.
00:46:41I love you.
00:46:42I love you.
00:46:43I love you.
00:46:44I love you.
00:46:52Party just moved to a new venue, that's all.
00:46:55Good work.
00:47:07you know what I love you Reese you know what else you're too good for this you
00:47:18want to go home come on off like a herd of turtles come on
00:47:27I can't believe I let you talk me into this well I know you've heard this story
00:47:42a million times but if I don't keep talking I can't keep walk so a million
00:47:55in one what do you have to say about that huh huh that's what I thought
00:48:06anyway we drove all day to get to where you were have you ever seen your mother
00:48:13drive huh she's beautiful she's so serious I
00:48:22always felt like I was on a mission to make her laugh I like that feeling of
00:48:29trying to impress somebody she made me feel that way all the time huh and when
00:48:38she smiled I swear there was heaven on her lips but don't get any ideas you're
00:48:47too young to start dating there you're too young for that anyway we get to the
00:48:56farm way out in the boonies and I swear the place was odd just like a circus
00:49:07there was kids on unicycles goats with eight horns I think there was even a
00:49:17cat with wings that you like to play with that chase that around the yard
00:49:26all day huh oh and your mother she had the best sense of style so she wore
00:49:38dresses from the 50s and little things in her hair she reminded me of Marilyn
00:49:52Monroe before well Marilyn Monroe I think it was the way though the wind
00:50:04whipped up her dress it didn't matter where we went or what we did I couldn't
00:50:14take my eyes off she glowed even when she slept have you ever seen the Lion
00:50:25King yeah I have about 75 times I have kids remember remember when James Earl
00:50:37Jones is holding up Simba well that's how it was when I met you only you
00:50:53weren't Simba you you were like a peanut butter cup a fat chunky little
00:51:13peanut butter cup that's how you got
00:51:24you
00:51:43let's just do this tomorrow
00:52:53you
00:53:23you
00:53:53you
00:54:23you
00:54:53you
00:55:23you
00:55:43fucking kids hey fuck off hey hey what's your problem
00:55:53you walk through here every day where do you go I don't know I guess I'm not
00:55:58going in quit being a pathetic fuck and say hi every once in a while huh well
00:56:04you're gonna sit down and ain't fucking church a piece of shit Paul I'm Terry
00:56:11this is my friend vodka who the fuck are you Brian hey hey waitress can I get a
00:56:20napkin for my friend here a child rot in your stagnant con I gotta go where
00:56:31the fuck are you gonna go you've got a job interview or something Oh gonna be a
00:56:37big shot dental assistant yeah fuck you you're drunk
00:56:50you
00:57:20you
00:57:51you
00:57:53the taste of used food subsides as the flickering streetlights create a rhythmic
00:57:58dance of muted shadows I stuff my coat with newspapers I will never read the
00:58:06first night was cold suppose the second and every night that followed memories
00:58:14will never keep you warm at night but they will keep you out
00:58:21even the good ones have you ever held someone so close that
00:58:26you forget which one you are
00:58:29but you think it's your fingers moving
00:58:35if I finish
00:58:44I think it's your lips
00:58:56hey should you get that job Jesus Christ watching you is like watching some
00:59:05pathetic fucking dog shit himself and then wipe his ass all over the ground
00:59:09his spirit in real good what you need is an aspirin and a shower well are you
00:59:21gonna sit out or what what is your deal anyway you ain't supposed to be here
00:59:31well I used to have a wife kids a dog the house Jesus Christ you are a
00:59:38dental assistant well I was an architect an architect you were an architect you
00:59:47know how many floors there were between you and the ground let me tell you
00:59:54something you're piece of shit I used to be a dental hygienist being a dental
01:00:02hygienist it's a lot like being a shrink only most of my clients were numb kind
01:00:07of like you talk to me about being you ever smoke crack smoking crack is kind
01:00:17of like waking up Frankenstein's monster there's a big jolt of electricity and
01:00:22then he just stumbles around all sad and lonely so the town folk they all get
01:00:27together and you know get their pitchforks and they run him out of town
01:00:31and kill him or fuck I forget killed it killed it thank you very much anyway my
01:00:40point is this you walk around here like fucking Frankenstein's monster and I see
01:00:46I could tell you ain't supposed to be here you're a fucking accident so I look
01:00:51for my pitchfork but then I realized I'm not a fucking farmer what do I need a
01:00:56pitchfork for but by the time I realized that you're fucking gone
01:01:04do yourself a favor go be an architect build yourself some big building that
01:01:11you don't want to jump off of or at least be a good drunk you fucking piece
01:01:17of shit
01:01:19thank you
01:01:21yeah go fuck yourself Frankie the park fly
01:01:26Jesus Paul you're a fucking embarrassment
01:01:49you
01:02:19do you mind if I sit and watch you paint no not at all
01:02:31this has always reminded me of something from a different life a couple of months
01:02:36ago it was wrapped in plastic interesting how something so strong can
01:02:41also be so fragile
01:02:44so are you in school third-quarter freshmen well it's very beautiful thank
01:02:50you do you paint I always wanted to I was told my wife I'd enter but I never
01:02:59you're married no I'm divorced I'm sorry it's okay it's been a while
01:03:09going on three years too bad
01:03:15it's all right where you from I must have tourists written all over me well
01:03:22that depends if you ask me to take your picture for the Space Needle I'm from
01:03:29Portland really I'm sailing right on
01:03:34well I should probably let you get back to your work it's okay you don't have to
01:03:41thanks but I need to start looking for some dinner
01:03:45but good luck to you
01:04:03you
01:05:04just trying to get money together for some food do you have any spare change
01:05:11it's okay thanks anyway have a good night
01:05:17you
01:05:32so I don't get the homeless money but I will help you help yourself you don't
01:05:37have to do this okay I want to paint pictures and that way you don't have to
01:05:44thank you
01:05:49oh you're one of the nicest people I've ever met I hope you get everything you
01:05:54ever want from life that you know what you have when you have
01:06:00thank you thank you
01:06:05you
01:06:10hey hey I'm gonna spray-cure the architect
01:06:26you're gonna come over and join me or what
01:06:35what are you so happy about life goes on
01:06:45it doesn't matter how much you push it pull it remember or forget it's
01:06:51indifferent it just goes on and I think back to the little things the things
01:06:58that matter most the laughter the wet laughter that hurts in the best
01:07:05way her lip-lock eyes across a crowded room philosophy over coffee
01:07:16explaining why the sky is blue to a child who thinks the world of you so
01:07:21wide-eyed and full of possibilities endless possibilities when the world was
01:07:29made of magic of course unicorns are real as real as princesses as real as
01:07:39Bigfoot as real as you and me once when I was your age I rode one I rode one but
01:07:49the horn is very sharp that's how I got these scars on my chin you know fly
01:08:03fly
01:08:07fly as I sink
01:08:49you
01:09:09take a walk with me
01:09:14and let's go find belief I want to see the stars again with the
01:09:24wonder that I had at the age of 10 so now I'm alone
01:09:33once again I'm on my own she lost the magic she had for me
01:09:47we no longer share the same skies no we don't
01:10:03so now I walk alone once again I'm on my own
01:10:17she lost the magic she had for me
01:10:24lost the magic
01:10:28come clean in each one of us Peter Pan Elvis Presley
01:10:38Superman in each one of us Jacques Cousteau to
01:10:47marvel at the earth and the sea below
01:10:54in each one of us Peter Pan Elvis Presley Superman
01:11:13in each one of us Jacques Cousteau to marvel at the earth
01:11:22and the sea below
01:11:37but take a walk with me
01:11:43do you remember the first day we met?
01:11:48yeah let's go find belief
01:11:58believe
01:12:01believe
01:12:06I want to see the stars again
01:12:13oh the stars again with the wonder that I had
01:12:22at the age of 10
01:12:32the age of 10 I remember lying on your chest and talking for hours
01:12:39the age of 10
01:12:44and then we remembered we were lying on the bathroom floor just trying to get a
01:12:48shower again
01:13:03so I walk alone
01:13:10once again
01:13:13I'm on my own she lost the magic she had for me
01:13:25in her eyes
01:13:31we no longer share the sky
01:13:38oh no
01:13:41oh no not at all
01:13:50not at all
01:13:54sometimes I can't help but wonder maybe we forget each other every time
01:14:00you look away
01:14:03I see you beautiful
01:14:13in each one of us Peter Pan
01:14:20Elvis Presley Superman
01:14:27in each one of us Jacques Cousteau
01:14:34to marvel at the earth and the sea below where the light
01:14:41I just need someone who understands the little boy
01:14:52inside the man I just need someone
01:14:59who understands part of me lives
01:15:06in our dreamland
01:15:22in our dreamland I remember I remember she thought
01:15:30but I can't forget once you asked me if I had ever stood
01:15:35naked in front of anyone alone and out of reach I took off my
01:15:41clothes and backed away from you you simply asked me my middle name and
01:15:46told me to put my clothes back on
01:15:50I am standing naked and raw for you now Bella
01:15:55not to beg forgiveness but to beg that you find happiness
01:16:00the kind of happiness I can never give you
01:16:05and if you should see the unrecognizable me on the street
01:16:09don't look down don't look back and I will grant you the same respect
01:16:20ain't you guys got a home to go to yeah I was thinking about maybe getting a
01:16:25wife shitting out some kids being an architect
01:16:30will you marry me shut up you're fucking drunk
01:16:36do you ever leave the bench
01:16:40what do they decorate you guys at Christmas time
01:16:45yes no
01:16:49okay well I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee if you want to join me
01:16:59come on sweetheart daddy wants some breakfast
01:17:04lupi
01:17:35um
01:17:53i have more range
01:18:04um
01:18:14if there was one thing you could change about your life
01:18:18what would it be one thing is all I get
01:18:23if one is all I get I don't want to play this
01:18:26pussy
01:18:29I want to be president united states that's right
01:18:32that way I can declare a state of anarchy
01:18:37I want to be a movie star a big fucking movie star live in a big
01:18:43fucking house make big fucking movies
01:18:50I want to be the love child of Sid Vicious and Molly Ringwald
01:18:58I want to sit up all night in an all night diner
01:19:01and order nothing
01:19:05I want to be God the sole purpose of saying I brought you into this world
01:19:09don't think for one minute I won't take you out
01:19:13I want the original promise I want justice for all
01:19:20I want love hate ups and downs and everything in between
01:19:26for nothing in return
01:19:30I want the world in my palm no cooler than 60 degrees
01:19:36no warmer than 75 and never a cloud in the sky
01:19:44I want the perfect kiss the perfect imperfection
01:19:50the perfect life
01:19:54but more than anything I want someone who wants what I want
01:19:59and I want her to walk through that door right over there
01:20:03and order biscuits and grain
01:20:07you're a pathetic fuck
01:20:13not you him
01:20:16jesus that was beautiful
01:20:29you
01:20:59you
01:21:29you
01:21:59you
01:22:14you left perfect
01:22:23was it worth it
01:22:29what is left of you
01:22:41from this rendezvous
01:22:53contentment fades away
01:22:59into the grave
01:23:07and the ghost of you
01:23:13well it hides away
01:23:17where's it going to
01:23:21you
01:23:27and the way you were
01:23:31lives in shadows now
01:23:35and becomes a blur
01:23:41and nothing can touch the moment
01:23:45it's all yours now
01:23:49you own it
01:23:51nothing no not even reason
01:23:55can touch the season
01:23:57that you're in
01:23:59that you're in
01:24:03you lean to kiss it
01:24:09well it fades away
01:24:13but then you miss it
01:24:19you're so close but through the years
01:24:23in circles again with burdens and fears
01:24:29oh now you are swimming in tears of sorrow
01:24:35oh
01:24:45contentment fades away
01:24:53into the grave
01:24:57and the ghost of you
01:25:01well it hides away
01:25:05where's it going to
01:25:15and the way you were
01:25:19lives in shadows now
01:25:25and becomes a blur
01:25:31and nothing can touch the moment
01:25:35it's all yours now
01:25:39you own it
01:25:41nothing no not even reason
01:25:45can touch the season
01:25:47that you're in
01:25:51nothing can touch the moment
01:25:55it's all yours now
01:25:57you own it
01:26:00nothing no not even reason
01:26:04can touch the season
01:26:06that you're in
01:26:08that you're in
01:26:13that you're in
01:26:18that you're in
01:26:23that you're in
01:26:25La la la, that you're in
01:26:30La la la, that you're in
01:26:35La la la
01:26:55La la la, that you're in
01:27:00La la la, that you're in
01:27:05La la la, that you're in
01:27:10La la la, that you're in
01:27:15La la la, that you're in
01:27:20La la la, that you're in