My Pregnant Wife Is Paralysed & It's Not A 'Fetish' | LOVE DON'T JUDGE
AN INTERABLED couple have hit back at online trolls who have criticised them for their decision to start a family. Alyssa and Jimmy, both 30, from New York, USA, met online in the summer of 2013, and soon fell in love, tying the knot in June 2019 - six years to the day from their first date. But the couple has sadly had to deal with some judgement, due to the fact that Alyssa is disabled.
"My disability is a C1 C2 spinal cord injury," she explained. "There's a lot of assumptions that I get - not [just about] me, [but about] people in general with disabilities. "[People think] they're not capable of doing anything, they just sit at home and mope, they're not able to fall in love. There's just so many." Jimmy added: "Sometimes, a question we get would be like, 'Oh, am I with her because I have some sort of fetish for people in wheelchairs?'" Thankfully the pair also have a lot of online support and try to focus on the positives. But when Alyssa began documenting her pregnancy with their first baby, Luke, who was born in May, on Instagram, where she has 112,000 followers, she was sadly met with some criticism, with strangers calling her "irresponsible". Jimmy said: "They don’t know our situation and how much she is capable of. She's an amazing girlfriend, fiancé, now wife and mother and I just can't wait to keep growing as a family together."
"My disability is a C1 C2 spinal cord injury," she explained. "There's a lot of assumptions that I get - not [just about] me, [but about] people in general with disabilities. "[People think] they're not capable of doing anything, they just sit at home and mope, they're not able to fall in love. There's just so many." Jimmy added: "Sometimes, a question we get would be like, 'Oh, am I with her because I have some sort of fetish for people in wheelchairs?'" Thankfully the pair also have a lot of online support and try to focus on the positives. But when Alyssa began documenting her pregnancy with their first baby, Luke, who was born in May, on Instagram, where she has 112,000 followers, she was sadly met with some criticism, with strangers calling her "irresponsible". Jimmy said: "They don’t know our situation and how much she is capable of. She's an amazing girlfriend, fiancé, now wife and mother and I just can't wait to keep growing as a family together."
Transcript
00:00This is Jimmy, he fell in love with, Alyssa.
00:04I'm attracted to Alyssa because of just her positive attitude, like all the time.
00:09She's always in a good mood, she keeps me positive.
00:12And now the couple are getting ready for the arrival of their first child.
00:16I'm just excited to see who he takes after the most.
00:20But due to Alyssa's disability, people have been critical of their decision to start a family.
00:25There was one recently that said,
00:28pretty irresponsible to have a baby when you're crippled.
00:33There's another one that said,
00:35so how is your husband going to take care of you and the baby?
00:38Yeah, it's going to be a different challenge for us,
00:40but it's not any different than an able-bodied husband doing stuff for his wife and the baby.
00:51Jim, can you come help me?
00:53Sure.
00:55Open this, and then we can put them in.
01:01Jimmy helps me a lot, mentally, physically, anything.
01:04Just as a normal husband would help a wife.
01:07The great thing about Alyssa is she's very independent,
01:09she's able to use the restroom on her own.
01:11I work full time, so she's home on her own when I'm at work.
01:16I just have to help her in the morning with getting ready, getting out of bed,
01:19help her get dressed really fast.
01:21Especially right now.
01:26We met online first in the summer of 2013.
01:29Almost eight years now.
01:31So then about a week or so later, I asked her out to go on a date.
01:34I was just happy to go on my first date ever.
01:37It was my first date ever.
01:39But seeing him was nice to know.
01:41It was not a creeper.
01:43It was just comforting to know that someone wanted to actually get to know me.
01:47My disability is a C1-C2 spinal cord injury, incomplete.
01:51So that means the very top of the spine that kind of connects to the neck.
01:55Incomplete means that I gained some movement back.
01:58Feeling some of my diaphragm back.
02:01My right side is a lot stronger than my left side.
02:05But I'm able to just do as much as I can.
02:08It occurred because of a doctor that used forceps when he was delivering me.
02:13That's what broke my spine.
02:15Yep, unfortunately.
02:20My Instagram has helped me meet other people that have similar disabilities.
02:26Other disabilities. Just anyone.
02:29Also, moms now follow me because they want to see my journey of what's going to happen, how the baby is.
02:40Some of the comments that I have, I read them and I find them nasty.
02:44There was one recently that said,
02:47Pretty irresponsible to have a baby when you're crippled.
02:51First, I don't even like the word crippled.
02:53Second of all, it's not even irresponsible.
02:56It's just me being a parent soon.
02:58And I mean, it's irresponsible to have a baby when you're doing other things you shouldn't be doing.
03:04That's what gets me just because I'm in a chair.
03:08I just laugh it off and then I block them.
03:10I don't let it affect me.
03:13Just the fact that we'll be two parents, attentive parents, good parents.
03:16You can't judge based off our physical limitations.
03:19No matter what, we're going to love the child, so we're going to do whatever it takes to care for it.
03:23Obviously, if she needs help, we're going to find a way to do it.
03:26You're not just going to be like, oh, she can't get him out of the crib or whatever.
03:30I guess we'll just leave him in the crib and let him keep crying.
03:33What do they think we're going to do? Just ignore the child?
03:36Oh, I forgot the baby needs to be fed?
03:38Yeah.
03:39There's a lot of assumptions that I think I get, not even me, just people in general with disabilities.
03:45They're either not capable of doing anything.
03:48They sit at home and mope and just feel sorry for themselves.
03:53They're not able to fall in love.
03:56They can't find someone.
03:58The stereotype sometimes you get or a question we get would be like,
04:01oh, am I with her because I have some sort of weird fetish for people in wheelchairs or something like that.
04:06When people say hurtful things about Alyssa's disability, for the most part, I don't let it affect me at all
04:12because at least 99% or more of the feedback we get is positive.
04:16We kind of just laugh it off for the most part.
04:18The positive outweighs the negative.
04:22Being 30 years old and being a parent, I feel like a real adult now.
04:26I can't wait to teach a kid right from wrong and help him grow as much as possible.
04:30I'm just excited to see who he takes after the most.
04:34I'm just excited just in general just to have a baby.
04:37What I say to people who are judging are just like, shove it.
04:41I don't take judgment to heart.
04:43I just laugh sometimes because it's like, you're just going to sit there and judge for what?
04:47Why does that make you feel any better?
04:49I'm very grateful for Alyssa.
04:51Just the fact that I met her and got to experience these things I never would have experienced.
04:56She was a amazing girlfriend, now fiance, now wife, and now she's about to be mother.
05:01I just can't wait to keep growing as a family together.