Aired (August 19, 2024): Actress na si Maricar Reyes, muling nagbahagi ng kanyang kwento sa pinakamababang karanasan sa kanyang buhay matapos ng 13 na taon gamit ang kanyang self-titled na librong tinatawag na “Maricar,” at kung paano ito naging mahalaga sa kanyang “healing process.”
Watch the latest episodes of 'Fast Talk with Boy Abunda’ weekdays at 4:00 PM on GMA Afternoon prime, starring Boy Abunda. #FastTalkwithBoyAbunda
Watch the latest episodes of 'Fast Talk with Boy Abunda’ weekdays at 4:00 PM on GMA Afternoon prime, starring Boy Abunda. #FastTalkwithBoyAbunda
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00:00Welcome to Fast Talk with Boy Abunda.
00:28Welcome to the program.
00:32Nay, tay, kapuso, dapat handa po kayo maging bahagi ng kwentuhang ito.
00:37Please welcome my friends, your friends, Richard Poon Banikar Reyes.
00:44Thank you. Thank you for being here. Maraming maraming maraming salamat.
00:48Please.
00:49Happy to be here.
00:50Thank you. At kumusta kayong dalawa?
00:53Kayo naman.
00:54Mabuti. Naninibago.
00:56It's been a while.
00:57But it's nice. We're talking about the two books, you guys, Marikar.
01:03And the other one is, I got this, thank you, but I didn't get this.
01:07Oh, the first one.
01:09Yeah, The Ten Things We Fight About, but this one I read during COVID.
01:13And thank you, I naatanggap ko yan sa bahay.
01:16Pero bago yan, did you deliberately rest from acting?
01:22In a way, yes.
01:25Lalo na noong pandemic, it was a forced rest.
01:28But when I kind of lay low from showbiz starting mga 2017, 2018,
01:33tapos I just felt like there was a, maybe there's like a spiritual component.
01:38I just felt like God was making me shift.
01:41There's like a new season.
01:43And we also, at the time, we also wanted to focus on our small business that we built.
01:48Parang mas gusto ko na mag-change of scenery din.
01:52But reality din na parang I wanted to also do something apart from showbiz.
01:57I know we don't have much time, but ang laking tulong nito sa mga couples out there,
02:03Ten Things We Fight About.
02:05And of course, the book also tackles the things they don't fight about.
02:09Pero ang interesting ito, dahil marami ang makakarelate.
02:12Very, very quickly lang, puntahan natin.
02:15Fake apologies.
02:17Oh, that's my chapter.
02:20Kasi diba, I grew up very chill, non-confrontational.
02:24I'd do anything just to keep the peace, including say sorry na hindi ko naminin.
02:28So actually that's quite toxic.
02:30Especially for me, I mean, personal experience.
02:33Kasi when you say sorry na hindi mo naman, you're not really sorry,
02:36it makes, parang it, oh sige, it will calm the waters for that time.
02:42Pero there's bitterness, may bigat.
02:45Kasi parang you're not naman sorry.
02:48So yung sama na loob, nandun pa rin, and it can grow over time.
02:51Let's go to the next one.
02:52Ticking time bomb. Anong ibig sabihin ito?
02:54Ako din yan.
02:56Ayun nga, because it's all, the root is, ayoko ng conflict.
03:00I will do anything to avoid conflict, including, so ticking time bomb,
03:03so if you offend me, I'm not gonna say it, I'm gonna keep it.
03:07And then you'll offend me again, I'm gonna keep it.
03:09Offend me again, I'm gonna keep it.
03:10So tick, tick, tick, tick, sakakakuha, sasabog ako one day,
03:14and it's not gonna be pretty.
03:15And then the person is gonna be wondering,
03:17parang halimbawa na, t-shirt lang or something, something small,
03:20biglang maga ano siya, why talaki ng galit mo?
03:23Ito lang ginawa ko, yung galit mo ganto.
03:25Right.
03:26Kasi naipon, naipon na siya.
03:28Let's go to, it's how you said it.
03:31Well, ano kasi, like ako, she knows that I'm very honest.
03:36So minsan, pag sobra ka rin honest, ang tendency, you don't sugarcoat.
03:42So minsan sinasabi niya, I know totoo yung sinasabi mo 100%,
03:47it's just the way you said it, a little bit,
03:50like kanina, we were mentioning condescending or a little bit too rough,
03:56a little bit kulang ng empathy.
03:59So I have, as a dominant personality,
04:03I have to soften a bit kasi yun yung need niya na.
04:06That's a good point.
04:07Hindi dahil sa tama ka, kahit anong paraan ang gusto mong sabihin,
04:11that doesn't give you permission to be rude.
04:14I get it.
04:15Raising voices.
04:16Ako naman, I think it's my issue.
04:19If people who know that I came from a family na all four of us are dominant,
04:24ate ko, ako, tatay ko, nanay ko, all dominant.
04:27They're separated because they're very dominant.
04:30So sanay ako na lumaki ako na very confrontational, matataas.
04:37It's kinda, a little bit, it can go violent kapag medyo sumabog na.
04:44So before I even married her, I told her,
04:47we have to have rules to protect her from me.
04:51So kapag alam ko tataas yung voice ko, may tinatawag kami yung T-sign,
04:56which is time out.
04:57Okay.
04:58Tumataas yung boses mo, tapos parang hindi na okay.
05:01Maricar has the permission na if I T-sign you, stop.
05:06Stop muna.
05:07Not stop kasi bastos or, no, it's just stop, baba mo lang yung tono mo.
05:12And then kapag binaba mo na, o tara, let's engage ulit.
05:15Okay, let's go to the fifth.
05:16Saying you're okay when you're really not okay.
05:19Ayan, I do that a lot.
05:21Again, you get the pattern, parang the same route siya eh,
05:24na ayaw ko na away, kasabihin ko na okay na lang ako.
05:27Or sometimes I also don't understand what I'm feeling,
05:30so I'll just say okay, para hindi na lang pag-usapan.
05:33I keep doing that, lalo na if the issue is very big,
05:38if I keep saying I'm okay when I'm really not,
05:40it's gonna grow bitterness pa rin.
05:42Ito interesante po ito, walkouts.
05:46Walkout, o, parang when things are too high emotionally,
05:50kasi siya, in fairness to him,
05:52pag mataas na emosyon or medyo tumataas na yung mga boses,
05:55he can still think very clearly.
05:57Ako, medyo, dahil we grew up in a very,
06:00yung family ko naman, opposite, very diplomatic.
06:02So, when emotions are high, I can't think.
06:05So, minsan yung escape mechanism ko is to just shut down and walk out.
06:10So, I didn't realize din na it's so disrespectful to the person na I'm walking out.
06:15Yung alam mo yung biglang nag-uusap tayo ng masinsinan,
06:17tas biglang tatayo akong mukhawala.
06:19Di ba parang nakakabastos din?
06:21So, hindi ko din nakita yung side na yun.
06:24False accusations and insecurities, anong ibig sabihin mo ito?
06:28Okay, there's a story there eh.
06:30Parang ano eh, I think it's a girl thing.
06:33I think the story in the book was parang tatlo kami nag-uusap and then
06:37they were talking about the topic na hindi ako makapasok.
06:40And even before I would even try,
06:44I wouldn't even try to go into the conversation.
06:46I just suddenly assume na eh, edi sige kayo na lang mag-uusap.
06:50Alam mo yung gano'n, without even thinking na eh, dun sila nagkoconnect.
06:55And I'm very welcome to join the conversation and ask questions,
06:58if I would only try, but I didn't at the time.
07:01Kasi nga, pinasukan na ako ng insecurities.
07:03And the false accusation there was like,
07:06ah, ayaw nyo akong kasama? Adi huwag.
07:09Parang gano'n.
07:10At saka nag-especulate ka na.
07:12Without confirming.
07:15Dito naman, from anger to self-pity.
07:18Puro ako.
07:19Puro ikaw.
07:21Mayroong problema dito.
07:24So I noticed, kasi he's very good with determining patterns.
07:28Ako kasi, I'm not used to confrontation.
07:31And he is more used to confrontation than me.
07:34So he would also, when emotions are not high,
07:37na-explain niya, oh, ito yung pattern mo, ganyan-ganyan.
07:39So one of the patterns that he saw was,
07:42mag-alimbawa, may argument,
07:44edi may point ako, I'd really argue it.
07:47So para ako na yun.
07:49And then, suddenly, when he would prove me wrong,
07:53biglang, the super anger,
07:55biglang akong babagsak to self-pity.
07:57Oh, I'm so wrong.
07:59So, extremes.
08:00Parang, hindi ba pwedeng, dun ka na lang sa gitna.
08:03Kung mali ka, ah, okay, mali ako.
08:04But I still love you and, you know, doesn't make me a bad person.
08:08But I'm wrong.
08:09Parang gano'n.
08:10I get that.
08:11Parang he's teaching me to be in the middle.
08:13Okay. Criticizing more than helping.
08:15Can you be more specific? This is interesting.
08:17Halimbawa, weakness at a strength mo, paano mo na itutulong yan?
08:21So, example.
08:24Abawa, weakness niya is, na-offend siya.
08:27Kasi siya, sobrang nice siya eh.
08:28So, na-offend siya, tos mabagal yung processing niya.
08:32Mabagal.
08:33Bago niyang malaman na, ay, nagalit pala ako,
08:35o naini, mabagal.
08:37Ako naman, super bilis.
08:38So instead of saying na, mabagal, mabagal mo naman mag-process ng emotion,
08:41instead of saying that,
08:43hindihan, ganito yan.
08:44Wala kang sinabi, but I know you're offended.
08:47Biglang, aunga, offended nga ako.
08:49So, tulungan mo.
08:50Instead of, bagal-bagal mo.
08:53Eh, ganun siya eh.
08:55Her personality is slower to process.
08:58So, imbis na i-criticize mo yun pababa,
09:01you have to help kasi helpmate kaya ka-asawa.
09:04You're the one who has to help.
09:06So, tulungan mo siya dahil mas mabilis ako.
09:08So, tutulungan kita, hindi kita...
09:10Didikdikin.
09:11O, yuyuraki na parang ang hina mo, parang ang bagal mo.
09:14I have to change that paradigm kasi pag niyurak mo siya,
09:18lalo ko yung maghihiwalay kasi feeling niya malit na siya.
09:21Lending money to others.
09:23This is even a more common problem.
09:25Oh gosh.
09:26Paano ito?
09:27Ikaw na, ikaw na, ikaw na.
09:28Ikaw na yun.
09:29Yung pagpapa-utaw na.
09:33In the book also, meron kaming,
09:35before we got married, I had this close person
09:38na for ilang years, I was lending money.
09:41Kasi lagi may emergency.
09:43Laging something ganyan.
09:44And then, before we got married,
09:47we talked about finances, we discussed mga ganyan.
09:50And then, I told him about this person.
09:54And then, nilatag ko sa kanya kung magkano na
09:57over the years yung binigay ko.
09:59And then he's like, that's too much.
10:01You can set boundaries financially.
10:03But, ito yung crucial na never ko narinig from anybody else.
10:08Parang, you stop lending,
10:10but you still try to have a relationship.
10:13Kasi, ano eh, ka-close ko siya.
10:15So, you still have a relationship.
10:17You still try to preserve the relationship.
10:19Like, i-date mo pa rin siya.
10:21Go out with them, i-libre mo.
10:23Do conversations.
10:24Yes.
10:25But, lending money, hanggang dun lang.
10:27Kasi, grabe na rin yung nabigay.
10:29Pero, napakahirap na problema yan.
10:30Lalo na pagkamag-ana, kalibaw, or close friend,
10:33pinahiram mo ng 20 times.
10:36Isang beses na hindi mo pahihiramin,
10:38suapang ka?
10:39Yes.
10:40Ito na papagusapan nito.
10:41Let's do fast talk.
10:42Woo!
10:43Woo!
10:46Let's do fast talk.
10:48And we have two minutes to do this,
10:49and our time begins now.
10:51Marikar, beauty or brains?
10:53Beauty.
10:54Sexy, demure?
10:55Sexy.
10:56Author, actress?
10:57Author.
10:58Tuwing, kailan sweet si Richard?
11:00All the time.
11:02Tuing, kailan pinaka-hot si Richard?
11:04Morning.
11:05Marikar, Richard pagkagising or Richard bago matulog?
11:09Both, eh.
11:10Richard, ikaw naman.
11:12Happy wife, happy husband?
11:14Happy wife.
11:15Pinaka-Pinoy na ugali mo, Richard?
11:19Kwentuhan.
11:20Pinaka-Chinese na ugali mo?
11:22Masinop sa pera.
11:24Tuwing, kailan clingy si Marikar?
11:26Bunga.
11:28Tuwing, kailan pinaka-sexy si Marikar?
11:30Nako, pag nakapantulog.
11:34Sa inyong dalawa, sino ang mas malambing?
11:37Both, eh.
11:38Sino ang mas seloso?
11:40Hindi rin kami.
11:42Sino ang mas magastos?
11:44Me, by a little.
11:47Sino ang malikot matulog?
11:49Me.
11:50Sino ang unang nagsusorry?
11:51Both.
11:52Sino ang unang nangangalabit?
11:54Ako ata.
11:57Is that lights on or lights off?
11:58Off, pero may lamp.
12:01I like that.
12:02Happiness or chocolates?
12:04Happiness with chocolates.
12:07Best time for chocolates?
12:11Morning and evening.
12:14If you are to give your love story a title,
12:17ano ito ang kasagutan sa pagbabalik ng Fast Talk with Boy Abune?
12:25Back on the show with Richard and Marikar.
12:29When was this?
12:30You released this book called Marikar.
12:32Late 2022, if I'm not mistaken.
12:35Medyo may COVID pa.
12:37Yes, medyo pa.
12:38Medyo may COVID pa.
12:40And it took you, what?
12:4112 years before you actually...
12:4413.
12:4513 years.
12:46Before you actually decided na ito.
12:48Pagtitell all ako.
12:49Sasabihin ko na.
12:50We're talking about the crisis.
12:51I mean, some call it a scandal
12:53that Marikar got involved in.
12:55Kwento, Marikar.
12:57Paano mo narating yung point na yun?
12:59What have you become because of that?
13:01Oh, gosh.
13:03Well, that's why I had to write a book.
13:05Correct.
13:06Because there's so much.
13:07You have to get a copy of this book and also the other book.
13:10Saan to ma bibili?
13:12You can go to, actually, marikareyes.com.
13:15Okay.
13:16For something simple.
13:17And you can get a copy of the books.
13:18Okay.
13:19So, wait.
13:20So, what happened?
13:21Para siyang ano eh.
13:22It's like, I feel like I've been turned inside out.
13:26Kasi all my life, the way I would do things,
13:29the way I would live life,
13:31feeling ko na tama is, you know,
13:32you try to look good, you do good,
13:34you know, external stuff.
13:36Basta if you look good,
13:38people don't see the bad stuff you're doing,
13:40you're okay.
13:42Pero yun lang, parang, with what happened to me,
13:45para akong nabaliktad,
13:46all of a sudden, you know,
13:48your reputation is tarnished and you can never get it back.
13:51And then, yun nga, parang,
13:53I had to slowly learn to release that,
13:56yung parang death grip ko,
13:58and a good reputation,
13:59and that's my identity.
14:01Yun yung kailangan kong bagwi.
14:03And what really needed work, pala,
14:04was my inside.
14:06Hindi yung panlabas ko,
14:08the external stuff I do.
14:09Baligtad.
14:10Yes.
14:11It's actually my heart.
14:12There's a lot of dark things there na hindi ko alam.
14:14Dahil nga, ang lakas ng exterior ko.
14:16Sinong tumulong sa'yo?
14:18Wala.
14:19Na makita yung, you know,
14:21na mapunta ka dun sa perspective na yun.
14:23Especially now, he's a big part of it.
14:25Kasi nga, he's very honest eh.
14:27So, he can really see, like,
14:29oh, you know, you're doing that,
14:32but yung ilalim mo, parang,
14:34you're not really happy.
14:36You look happy, but you're not really happy.
14:38What's there?
14:39So, magaling siya magkot-kot.
14:41But, yeah, but of course,
14:43initially, yung journey ko,
14:44before I get married,
14:45there was a lot of women then.
14:46I was shocked.
14:47I was introduced to women
14:48na sobrang brutal din with their struggles.
14:51And very honest.
14:52Na parang, oh, ito yung sablay ko,
14:54na yes, I went through this trauma,
14:56but actually, what dug me into a deeper hole
14:59was my response, not the trauma.
15:01Paano mo na-achieve yung pivot?
15:05I'm not sure eh.
15:07I think it was around 2010, late 2010.
15:11Parang, yun nga, I saw my part in it.
15:15Kasi for the longest time,
15:16I couldn't see what I did wrong.
15:18Or, parang, the thought was,
15:20what did I do to deserve something this big?
15:23Wala naman akong pinatay na tao.
15:25Hindi naman ako, you know, addict or rapist.
15:28But to me, that's a fair question.
15:30Yes.
15:31Sorry, but that's a fair question.
15:33Yeah, it's very fair.
15:34Well, I can't talk about this without going into God.
15:38Yes.
15:39Kasi, yun nga eh, parang,
15:41I saw things from my perspective.
15:43If I am the, parang, kumbaga, standard,
15:48then, if I'm the standard of goodness,
15:50then, oo nga, parang,
15:52oh, hindi naman ako murderer or what.
15:54Pero yun nga eh, by talking to so many women
15:57and being open to the perspective of God,
16:00when I see my situation through His eyes,
16:03and I start to also know kung sino ba talaga siya,
16:07mas nagiging klaro na sablay ka din eh.
16:10Oo, may sablay ka rin.
16:12And yun nga eh, yun yung dinidikdik sakin.
16:14It's accumulation of your little choices
16:17that were hurting God and hurting yourself in the process
16:20over so many years that it just got bigger and bigger
16:23and bigger and bigger and blew up.
16:24Why didn't you name names in the book?
16:26Why should I name names?
16:29Eh, ang tagal na rin.
16:31And yun nga, the primary purpose of the book
16:33is to help women who are also going through dark times.
16:38Yeah.
16:39So yun talaga yung purpose ko.
16:40It was really, tsaka to show them my journey.
16:43And then if somebody will learn something,
16:45if my journey will help them, e de, I've done my job.
16:49And siguro kay Maricar, the book,
16:51bakit a lot of people read it and really cry,
16:55talagang mga babae.
16:56Because, bakit walang names?
16:59Because, ang gusto ni Maricar talaga,
17:02this is, I want to focus on my accountability, my fault.
17:06Some other book, I think,
17:08she could've, pwede naman niyang kunin yung root na,
17:11hindi, victim ako.
17:14Mag-name ako ng names para malaman ng lahat na inosente ako
17:19at sila ang gumawa ng mali.
17:21Pwede rin naman ganun eh.
17:22Pero, it's not, hindi nya purpose yun eh.
17:25Ang purpose nya is,
17:27there's nothing we can do about the other side.
17:30Ang side ko ang pwedeng may accountability.
17:33So, kaya walang names.
17:35It's, I will focus on my mistakes.
17:37Doon ako magpo-forward.
17:39Doon tayo makakamove forward.
17:41Did you contemplate on going to court?
17:43Contemplate? Oo.
17:46Dumaan ka rin doon?
17:47Yeah, I actually kinda talked about it a bit.
17:49A bit here?
17:50Yeah, yeah.
17:51I remember.
17:52Oo, pero, hindi rin eh.
17:54Parang, it's all, it wasn't the route for me.
17:57Again, naiintindihan ko.
17:59Yeah.
18:00I mean, the reality of it.
18:01That's right.
18:02When you're, in theory,
18:03I mean, not to, ano naman the justice system.
18:05I mean, it's there for a reason.
18:06But the path that was being presented to me,
18:09hindi, hindi para sakin.
18:12Pero Maricar, the fact na nasasabi mo ng crisis,
18:15the scandal,
18:17ang sarap lang isipin na kahit ano ang pagdaanan natin,
18:21ang bait pa rin talaga ng Diyos.
18:23Sobra.
18:24No?
18:25Oo, grabe.
18:26You know, you pray and you say,
18:27Lord, I don't know how I got here,
18:30but I'm here.
18:31Salamat.
18:32And I'm just so happy that you're able to share a story.
18:35Really, thank you.
18:36You know why?
18:37Because you should have a song for Maricar.
18:44Sabi sa akin, wala raw kayong theme song.
18:46Wala tayo kayong theme song.
18:47Wala.
18:48Hindi kami ganun.
18:49Pero,
18:50nung nagtanong sila,
18:51anong theme song ninyo sa dinadaanan nyo?
18:54Yung where we are now,
18:56siya yung nakaisip ng song.
18:57Anong naisip niyang kanta?
18:58Okay.
18:59Anong kanta yung naisip mo nung tinanong tayo na,
19:01ano daw theme song natin?
19:02Anong kakanta?
19:04Anong title nun?
19:05I don't know the title.
19:06Yung first line pa lang.
19:09Beautiful song.
19:10Maricar, flowers for you.
19:11Maraming salamat.
19:13Thank you very much.
19:14Salamat.
19:15Salamat.
19:16Salamat.
19:17Salamat.
19:18God bless both of you.
19:20All the best.
19:21Maraming salamat.
19:22Thank you for your time.
19:23And thank you for being here.
19:24It means a lot to me.
19:25And to all of us.
19:26Nayitay kapuso,
19:27maraming salamat po sa inyong pagpapapasok sa amin,
19:30sa inyong mga tahanan at puso araw-araw.
19:32May your mind make your nanayatare proud.
19:34And Hassad, say thank you.
19:36Do one good thing a day,
19:39and make this world a better place.
19:41Goodbye for now.
19:42God bless.