Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010)

DigiDazzle

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a unique combination of romance, comedy, and action directed by Edgar Wright. The film follows Scott Pilgrim, a slacker and aspiring musician in Toronto, who falls for the enigmatic Ramona Flowers. To win her heart, Scott must battle her seven evil exes in a series of imaginative and stylized confrontations. With its vibrant visual style, clever humor, and themes of love and self-discovery, the film captures the essence of modern relationships and the complexities of growing up.

Transcript

00:00:00Not so long ago, in the mysterious land of Toronto, Canada,

00:00:29Scott Pilgrim was dating a high schooler.

00:00:37Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?

00:00:40Really? Is she hot?

00:00:42How old are you now, Scott? Like 28?

00:00:44I'm not playing your little games, kids.

00:00:46So, you've been out of high school for like 13 years.

00:00:49I'm 22.

00:00:5122.

00:00:53You're dating a high school girl. Not bad, not bad.

00:00:56Thank you, thank you.

00:00:58So, don't you guys, like, you know, do it yet?

00:01:03We have done many things.

00:01:05We ride the bus together, and we have meaningful conversations

00:01:08about how yearbook club went, and about her friends,

00:01:12and, you know, drama.

00:01:14Have you even kissed her?

00:01:16We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.

00:01:18Well, aren't you pleased as punch?

00:01:20I don't know what you're talking about.

00:01:21So, what's her name?

00:01:23Knives Chow.

00:01:25She's Chinese.

00:01:28Wicked.

00:01:30So, when do we get to meet her?

00:01:31Oh, please, let it be soon.

00:01:33That's for me.

00:01:37Hi.

00:01:38You promise to be good?

00:01:39Of course I'll be good.

00:01:40Seriously, please be good.

00:01:42Am I normally not?

00:01:44Hey, Knives, this is Steven Stills.

00:01:46He's the talent.

00:01:48Hey.

00:01:50Is she gonna geek out on us?

00:01:51She'll just sit in the corner, man.

00:01:53I mean, I want her to geek out on us.

00:01:55She'll geek. She geeks.

00:01:56She's the capacitator geek.

00:01:58Okay.

00:02:00You're good.

00:02:06Wow.

00:02:07Hey, let me get your coat.

00:02:08Hi.

00:02:10Knives, that's Kim.

00:02:12Sorry, what was your name?

00:02:14Kim.

00:02:15And you play the drums?

00:02:17Yes.

00:02:18That is so awesome.

00:02:20Knives, that's young Neil.

00:02:22Hi.

00:02:24Hi.

00:02:25And what do you play?

00:02:27Well, um...

00:02:30Zelda...

00:02:32Tetris...

00:02:34That's kind of a big question.

00:02:37Okay, let's start with Launchpad McQuack.

00:02:39That's not the actual title of the song.

00:02:41We are Sex Bob-Omb!

00:02:43One, two, three, four!

00:02:45Yeah, yeah

00:02:48Yeah, yeah

00:02:51Let me make the stasis

00:02:53My, my, my, my serpentine

00:02:57I've got a birthalyzer

00:02:59And my body's clean

00:03:09Yeah!

00:03:11Yeah!

00:03:13Yeah!

00:03:15Yeah!

00:03:17Come on!

00:03:37Three, three!

00:03:40Let's go!

00:03:45Whoo!

00:03:53Go, go, go, go!

00:03:55That's it!

00:04:03Yeah, baby!

00:04:10Come on!

00:04:24Yeah, yeah

00:04:26Yeah, yeah

00:04:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:04:39That's it!

00:04:43You guys are so amazing.

00:04:50She seems nice.

00:04:51Yeah.

00:04:52Yeah, she seems awesome.

00:04:53Yeah.

00:04:54Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.

00:04:57Yeah.

00:04:58Wait, what?

00:04:59I mean, are you really happy or are you really evil?

00:05:02Like, do I have ulterior motives or something?

00:05:05I'm offended, Kim.

00:05:06Wounded even?

00:05:07Hurt, Kim.

00:05:08You? Hurt?

00:05:10Neil, you were saying about she seems awesome?

00:05:13Yeah, she seems awesome.

00:05:15Yeah.

00:05:21Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else,

00:05:23guess I'm dating a 17-year-old.

00:05:25Aw, is he cute?

00:05:27Ha, ha, ha.

00:05:28Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?

00:05:30See another bed in the evening?

00:05:32Oh, yeah.

00:05:34You're totally my bitch forever.

00:05:39So, the whole 17-year-old thing, don't tell too many people.

00:05:43Hey.

00:05:44You know me.

00:05:45I mean, don't tell my sister.

00:05:47You know me.

00:05:49Who are you texting?

00:05:5317-years-old, scandal.

00:05:55That's not true.

00:05:56Who told you?

00:05:57Wallace, duh.

00:05:58That gossipy bitch.

00:05:59You know me.

00:06:00Wallace!

00:06:02Who is this mystery to you?

00:06:04You know me.

00:06:05Wallace!

00:06:06Who is this mystery child you date?

00:06:08Her name's Knives Chow.

00:06:10She's Chinese.

00:06:11A 17-year-old Chinese schoolgirl?

00:06:14You're ridiculous.

00:06:16It's a Catholic school, too.

00:06:18With the uniform and everything?

00:06:19Yeah, the whole deal.

00:06:21Oh, my God.

00:06:22You guys haven't...

00:06:23No, no, no, no.

00:06:24We haven't even held hands yet.

00:06:26I think she hugged me once.

00:06:28Scott, why are you doing this?

00:06:30I don't know.

00:06:31It's just nice, you know?

00:06:32It's just simple.

00:06:34It's been over a year since you got dumped

00:06:36by she-who-will-not-be-named, so...

00:06:39Are you legitimately moving on,

00:06:41or is this just you being insane?

00:06:43Can I get back to you on that?

00:06:48I do not want to be here at all.

00:06:50This school has boys, too.

00:06:52I hate you.

00:06:54Even I would think twice about dating a 17-year-old.

00:06:57Well, she's only allowed out when the sun is up,

00:06:59so I wouldn't call it dating.

00:07:00It's more like...

00:07:01Lay time?

00:07:02That doesn't sound so good, either.

00:07:03No.

00:07:04Scott!

00:07:05Hey, Knives.

00:07:06This is my cool gay roommate, Wallace Wells.

00:07:08Hi.

00:07:09He's gay.

00:07:10Oh.

00:07:11Do you want to know who in my class is gay?

00:07:13Yes, does he wear glasses?

00:07:14Wallace, you go now.

00:07:15Be gone.

00:07:19You're too good for him.

00:07:21Run.

00:07:24Get ready.

00:07:27Here we go.

00:07:31Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?

00:07:34You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck,

00:07:37but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase,

00:07:39which means to flap one's mouth open and closed.

00:07:42They changed it because they thought

00:07:44that Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize,

00:07:46you know, like people could just scratch off the P

00:07:48and turn it into an F or whatever.

00:07:50Oh, my God.

00:07:51Like...

00:07:52Wow.

00:07:58Yeah.

00:07:59Wow.

00:08:05Oh.

00:08:06Oh, I got it.

00:08:12I don't listen to that much music.

00:08:14I mean, I know kids that play piano or whatever,

00:08:17but you guys, you guys rock.

00:08:20Well, I knew I personally rocked,

00:08:22but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit,

00:08:24so thank you, Knives.

00:08:26I mean, you guys are going to be huge.

00:08:28Well, we're already pretty big,

00:08:30but, yeah, I guess it'd be cool

00:08:31if cool people started wearing our T-shirt or whatever.

00:08:34Cool.

00:08:35Yeah, yeah.

00:08:36Um, excuse me.

00:08:37Do you have anything by The Clash at Demonhead?

00:08:39Have you tried the section marked The Clash at Demonhead?

00:08:42Thank you, Julie.

00:08:44Are you coming to my party Friday,

00:08:46or will you be busy babysitting?

00:08:49Thank you, Julie.

00:08:51You don't want to listen to her,

00:08:53and you definitely don't want to listen to them.

00:08:56Oh, I heart them so much.

00:08:58I hearted them, too, until they signed to a major label

00:09:01and the lead singer turned into a total bitch

00:09:04and ruined my life forever, but that's just me.

00:09:07Amy Adams is so cool.

00:09:09Do you read her blog?

00:09:10I'm sorry, you were saying about me?

00:09:12I mean, I've never gone out with anyone so talented.

00:09:15Go out with a lot of guys?

00:09:17No.

00:09:18Yeah, so whatever, man.

00:09:20I've never even kissed a guy.

00:09:23Hey.

00:09:25Me neither.

00:09:39Here you go.

00:09:41So this is your secret lair?

00:09:43Yeah.

00:09:44Can I come in?

00:09:46My secret lair is one of those

00:09:48no girls allowed type deals.

00:09:50Oh, okay.

00:09:51But do you want to see the house where I grew up?

00:09:53Sure.

00:09:54Come on.

00:09:57Here you go.

00:09:59Wow.

00:10:01Yeah.

00:10:03Wow.

00:10:12Oh, God.

00:10:16So alone.

00:10:19You're not alone.

00:10:21What?

00:10:22You're just having some idiotic dream.

00:10:26Does that mean we can make out?

00:10:28Oh, God.

00:10:30What is it, Scott?

00:10:31I had this totally weird dream.

00:10:32Oh, God.

00:10:34What is it, other Scott?

00:10:35Can we skip the dream time?

00:10:37Colin will be not interested.

00:10:38But there was this girl.

00:10:40Girl?

00:10:41Was this an Envy-related dream?

00:10:43No, we don't use the E word in this house.

00:10:44No, it wasn't her.

00:10:45It was somebody new.

00:10:47Yay for that.

00:10:49Speaking of new,

00:10:51weren't you supposed to take your fake high school girlfriend

00:10:53to the library a half hour ago?

00:10:55What?

00:10:56It's like 6 in the morning.

00:11:01That's weird.

00:11:03What's weird?

00:11:05Libraries remind me of grade school.

00:11:07That must seem like a really long time ago.

00:11:10Yeah.

00:11:11Let's talk about something else.

00:11:18What?

00:11:32Do you know that girl?

00:11:35Scott!

00:11:36What?

00:11:37You only played one note for that entire song.

00:11:40My hand slipped.

00:11:42Is your girlfriend distracting you?

00:11:44My girlfriend?

00:11:45Will you be quieter?

00:11:47Let's do that one again.

00:11:49Sorry, what are we doing?

00:11:51I told you like 50 times.

00:11:52We're going to this party, retard.

00:11:54Party?

00:11:55I thought you guys split up.

00:11:57We did, but there might be some label guys there, so you know.

00:12:00Oh man, this is gonna suck.

00:12:02At least it'll give us something to complain about.

00:12:04Oh man, this sucks.

00:12:06I'm gonna go pee due to boredom.

00:12:11I have to pee.

00:12:13I told him you've got a really good sound,

00:12:15and I think that you should market your sound to deaf people.

00:12:17Because, Scott, hey.

00:12:19Hey, Comer.

00:12:20How about this party, huh?

00:12:21You getting your drink on over here?

00:12:22No, I don't drink.

00:12:23This is just Coke Zero.

00:12:24What do you mean you don't drink?

00:12:25I distinctly remember you being very drunk

00:12:27at a couple of G&Ts.

00:12:28Hey, Comer, you know everyone, right?

00:12:30Yeah, pretty much indeed.

00:12:31Isn't there this one girl with hair like this?

00:12:33Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.

00:12:34Somebody said she was gonna be here tonight, actually.

00:12:36What?

00:12:37Scott, you have the hots for her or something?

00:12:39I gotta tell you, though, I hear that she's a little hardcore.

00:12:43♪♪

00:12:53♪♪

00:13:03♪♪

00:13:13♪♪

00:13:23Hey, what's up?

00:13:25Nothing.

00:13:26Hey, you know Pac-Man?

00:13:27I know of him.

00:13:29Well, Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man.

00:13:33They changed it because, uh,

00:13:35not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck.

00:13:37Paku-Paku means flap your mouth,

00:13:39and that they were worried people would change,

00:13:42scratch out the P, turn it into an F, like...

00:13:46Heh.

00:13:48Yeah, that's amazing.

00:13:50Um...

00:13:52am I dreaming?

00:13:56I'll leave you alone forever now.

00:13:58Thanks.

00:14:00♪♪

00:14:07Dude!

00:14:08What?

00:14:09She's totally real.

00:14:10Who?

00:14:11Ramona Flowers.

00:14:12What?

00:14:13Dude, what do you know about Ramona Flowers?

00:14:14All I know is that she's American.

00:14:15American?

00:14:16Why don't you go talk to Sandra Monique?

00:14:18They know a lot more about her.

00:14:19Lady dudes, what do you know about Ramona Flowers?

00:14:21I heard she has a boyfriend.

00:14:22Mm-hmm, yes.

00:14:23I met her back in New York.

00:14:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:25What else?

00:14:27She's on another level.

00:14:29She has men dying at her feet.

00:14:31She's got some battle scars, dude.

00:14:34What about Ramona Flowers?

00:14:36You know her? Tell me now.

00:14:37She just moved here, got a job at Amazon,

00:14:39comes into my work.

00:14:40Does she really?

00:14:41Didn't you say she just broke up with someone?

00:14:42Did she really?

00:14:43They had a huge fight or whatever?

00:14:45Did they really?

00:14:46Yes, but I didn't want Scott to know that, Stephen.

00:14:48Yeah, I don't know what it is about that girl.

00:14:50Scott, I forbid you from hitting on Ramona,

00:14:52even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a year.

00:14:55Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:14:57Scott's mourning period is officially over.

00:14:59He's totally dating a high schooler.

00:15:01Dating a high schooler is the mourning period.

00:15:03She's got a point.

00:15:04I thought you guys broke up.

00:15:06I don't want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party, Scott.

00:15:08We all know you're a total lady killer wannabe jerky jerk.

00:15:11That's completely untrue.

00:15:12That time with Lisa?

00:15:13That was a misunderstanding.

00:15:14That time with Holly?

00:15:15That wasn't what it looked like.

00:15:16That time you dumped Kim for...

00:15:18Okay, me and Kim are all good now, all right?

00:15:20Whatever. Ramona's out of your league.

00:15:22Let's just leave it at that.

00:15:24Besides, I'm not even sure she did have a big breakup.

00:15:26She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.

00:15:28Yeah, I don't know what it is about that girl.

00:15:30Forget it, Scott!

00:15:31Scott!

00:15:35Guess who's drunk.

00:15:37I guess Wallace.

00:15:39You guessed right.

00:15:44So that girl from my dream?

00:15:46Girl, okay.

00:15:47I saw her at the library.

00:15:49Library?

00:15:50Every time we're talking about a guy.

00:15:52And then I'm at this party.

00:15:54And hey, there she is.

00:15:55Hey, there he is.

00:15:56I think she's...

00:15:57I think he's...

00:15:58I think she's the girl in my dream.

00:16:00I don't know.

00:16:02Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.

00:16:04I've never been so sure about something.

00:16:06Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.

00:16:09What's that?

00:16:10Then you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.

00:16:13I'm not getting it from...

00:16:16You're thinking of juggling two chicks?

00:16:18Not even.

00:16:19Well, you should break up with your fake high school girlfriend.

00:16:21Wait, who told you?

00:16:22Wallace, duh.

00:16:24He's not even conscious.

00:16:25Whatever.

00:16:26You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.

00:16:29Don't you have a job to do?

00:16:30You're right.

00:16:31I should send out a mass text about this.

00:16:32Bye.

00:16:36Wallace, how do you do that?

00:16:38Wallace!

00:16:40Amazon.ca.

00:16:41What's the website for that?

00:16:43Amazon.ca.

00:16:45I have to order something really cool.

00:16:47You've got mail.

00:16:49Dude, this thing claims I have mail.

00:16:51It's amazing what we can do with computers these days.

00:16:53Dude, now I'm reading it.

00:16:55So happy for you.

00:16:56Dear Mr. Pilgrim, it has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon.

00:17:00My name is Matthew Patel and blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:17:03Fair warning.

00:17:05Mono e mono.

00:17:07Seven evil blah, blah.

00:17:09This is...

00:17:11This is...

00:17:13This is...

00:17:15What?

00:17:16This is boring.

00:17:18Delete.

00:17:24Scott, are you waiting for the package you just ordered?

00:17:28Maybe.

00:17:30It's the weekend.

00:17:31It won't ship until Monday at the earliest.

00:17:33You were saying?

00:17:35Attack hug!

00:17:37Attack hug.

00:17:38That's so cute, so cute.

00:17:40Remember?

00:17:41You were supposed to pick me at the bus stop a half hour ago.

00:17:44How could I possibly forget?

00:17:48Your book club is so boring.

00:17:50I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.

00:17:52That's sucky.

00:17:53Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.

00:17:56But then Tamara claims she has zips on Derek.

00:17:59Oh, yeah.

00:18:10Oh, okay. Sorry. That was all me.

00:18:13Solo round.

00:18:15Uh-oh.

00:18:16Mega ninja.

00:18:18Mega ninja.

00:18:19I can never get past that guy.

00:18:22Don't beat yourself up about it.

00:18:24Game over.

00:18:25Do you want to keep going?

00:18:27Um...

00:18:30I think...

00:18:33I think...

00:18:35We should, uh...

00:18:36What?

00:18:44Game on, everybody. Game on.

00:18:47I got us a show.

00:18:48Oh, my gosh! When?

00:18:50Wednesday. The Rocket.

00:18:52And even better, it's the T.I.B.B.

00:18:54Whoa.

00:18:55Toronto International Battle of the Band?

00:18:57That's right.

00:18:58This guy at work was like,

00:18:59Steve, you know anybody in a band?

00:19:01And I was like, I'm in a band.

00:19:02And he was like, you're in a band?

00:19:04And I was like, yeah, I am totally in a band.

00:19:06Great story, man.

00:19:07Is there a prize or something?

00:19:09Only a record deal with G-Man Graves.

00:19:12Who's that?

00:19:13You don't know?

00:19:14Indie producer of the Millennium.

00:19:16Oh.

00:19:17If we win,

00:19:18it won't just be Knives wearing Sex Bob-Omb shirts.

00:19:22It'll be the cool kids, too.

00:19:25I promise I will do everything I can

00:19:28to get out of the study group and come.

00:19:30I have to pee.

00:19:32Oh, my gosh, who are you battling?

00:19:34Crash and the Boys.

00:19:36That one band with Crash and the Boys?

00:19:39Yeah, that's the one.

00:19:40I hate them.

00:19:41Oh, my gosh.

00:19:42Yeah, they suck.

00:20:03Hey!

00:20:11Hey!

00:20:22Hey!

00:20:28Uh, Scott Pilgrim?

00:20:30Hi, I was thinking about asking you out,

00:20:31but then I realized how stupid that would be.

00:20:33So do you want to go out sometime?

00:20:35Um, no, that's okay.

00:20:36You just need to sign for this, all right?

00:20:38I just woke up and you were in my dream.

00:20:40I dreamt that you were delivering me this package.

00:20:42Is that weird?

00:20:43It's not weird at all.

00:20:44It's not?

00:20:45No, it's just you have this really convenient

00:20:46subspace highway running through your head

00:20:48that I like to use.

00:20:49It's like three miles in 15 seconds.

00:20:50Right, right.

00:20:51I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.

00:20:53You don't remember me, do you?

00:20:54We met at the party the other day.

00:20:56Were you the Pac-Man guy?

00:20:57No, not even.

00:20:58That was some total ass.

00:21:00I was the other guy.

00:21:01You know, you need to sign for this,

00:21:03whatever this is.

00:21:04But if I sign for it, you'll leave.

00:21:05Yeah, it's how it works.

00:21:06Okay, well, maybe...

00:21:08do you want to hang out sometime,

00:21:09get to know each other?

00:21:11You're the new kid on the block, right?

00:21:13I've lived here forever.

00:21:15There are reasons for you to hang out with me.

00:21:20You want me to hang out with you?

00:21:22Um, yeah, if that's cool.

00:21:25If I say yes, will you sign for your damn package?

00:21:28So, yeah, 8 o'clock?

00:21:33Why are you just standing there?

00:21:35Dude, I'm totally waiting on you.

00:21:37Oh, I'm sorry.

00:21:38I just assumed you were too cool to be here on time.

00:21:40Oh, you assumed wrong.

00:21:42So how'd you end up in Toronto?

00:21:45Just needed to escape, I guess.

00:21:47Oh, yeah.

00:21:48I got this job here,

00:21:49and Gideon had always said

00:21:50Toronto was one of the great cities, so...

00:21:52Is Gideon your boyfriend?

00:21:54He's...

00:21:56a friend.

00:21:58Was he your boyfriend?

00:22:00Do you mind if I don't get into that right now?

00:22:02Oh, it's so not interesting to me.

00:22:05So what about you?

00:22:07What do you do?

00:22:08Oh, I'm in between jobs at the moment.

00:22:10Between what and what?

00:22:12Well, my last job was a long story

00:22:16filled with sighs.

00:22:17I know plenty of those.

00:22:19Is that why you left New York?

00:22:21Pretty much.

00:22:22Pretty much.

00:22:23Just time to head somewhere a little more chilled.

00:22:26Well, it's certainly chilled here.

00:22:28Yeah.

00:22:29It's chilled as in cold.

00:22:32Yeah.

00:22:36This is ridiculous.

00:22:37Isn't it like April?

00:22:39No.

00:22:40I can barely see you.

00:22:42This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.

00:22:45I think act of God is a pretty decent excuse

00:22:47for a lousy date.

00:22:49So this is a date, eh?

00:22:52Slip of the tongue.

00:22:54Tongue.

00:22:56Anyway, night's not over yet.

00:22:58I think there's a thingy over here somewhere.

00:23:00A thingy?

00:23:02A door.

00:23:07Come on.

00:23:22What kind of tea do you want?

00:23:24There's more than one kind?

00:23:26We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time,

00:23:29green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey,

00:23:32liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey,

00:23:34vanilla almond, white truffle, blueberry chamomile,

00:23:36vanilla walnut, constant comet, and...

00:23:38earl grey.

00:23:40Did you make some of those up?

00:23:42I think I'll have sleepy time.

00:23:44That sounds good to me.

00:23:47Let me get you a blanket.

00:23:50Let me get you a blanket.

00:23:52That would actually be awesome.

00:24:05Dude, I'm changing.

00:24:07Ah, sorry. I'm just cold.

00:24:09Here, does that help?

00:24:11Yeah, that's very warm.

00:24:13What is that?

00:24:15Okay.

00:24:21When you're cold

00:24:25I'll be there

00:24:28I'll be tight to you

00:24:32Were you just gonna bring the blanket from your bed?

00:24:36I guess.

00:24:38Maybe we should both get under it since we're so cold.

00:24:43What about our tea?

00:24:47I can...

00:24:49not have tea.

00:24:59I changed my mind.

00:25:01Changed it to what? From what?

00:25:03I don't want to have sex with you, girl.

00:25:05Not right now.

00:25:07Okay.

00:25:09It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.

00:25:11You can sleep in my bed.

00:25:13And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.

00:25:16Well, this is nice. Just this.

00:25:19It's been, like, a really long time, so...

00:25:22I think I needed this.

00:25:24Whatever it is, so...

00:25:26Thank you.

00:25:28You're welcome.

00:25:33Hey, so...

00:25:35Can this not be a one-night stand?

00:25:37For one thing, I didn't even get any.

00:25:39That was a joke.

00:25:41What did you have in mind?

00:25:43Oh, come to the first round of this Battle of the Bands thing.

00:25:45You have a band.

00:25:47Yeah, we're terrible. Please come?

00:25:49Sure.

00:25:51Oh, wait. Can I get your number?

00:25:55Wow. Girl number.

00:25:57See you at the show, Scott Pilgrim.

00:25:59Oh, hey, it's tonight.

00:26:01At the ro...

00:26:06Hey.

00:26:08You totally came.

00:26:10Yes, I did totally come.

00:26:16Please excuse my brother.

00:26:18He is chronically enfeebled.

00:26:20I'm Stacy. Hey.

00:26:22This is Wallace, his roommate. Hey.

00:26:24This is my boyfriend, Jimmy. Hey.

00:26:26Oh, and this is Knives.

00:26:28Hey. Hey.

00:26:34So, do you like?

00:26:36Well, I, uh...

00:26:46...have to go.

00:26:51Okay.

00:26:53This next band is from Brampton,

00:26:55and they are Crash and the Boys.

00:26:58Oh, God.

00:27:00It's a nightmare.

00:27:02Is this a nightmare?

00:27:04Wake up, wake up, wake up.

00:27:06Once we're on stage, you'll be fine.

00:27:08We were just on stage for sound check,

00:27:10and the sound guy hated us.

00:27:12It's just nerves. Pre-show jitters.

00:27:14People love us, right?

00:27:16Oh, man, this is bad.

00:27:18This is so, so bad.

00:27:20Hey, Jimmy.

00:27:22Do they rock or suck?

00:27:24They have not started playing yet.

00:27:26That was a test, Jimmy.

00:27:28One, two.

00:27:30You passed.

00:27:32Okay.

00:27:34Good evening. My name is Crash, and these are the boys.

00:27:36Is that girl a boy, too?

00:27:38Yes.

00:27:40They have a girl drummer.

00:27:42This song is called

00:27:44I Am So Sad.

00:27:46I Am So Very, Very Sad.

00:27:48It goes a little something like this.

00:27:54Thank you.

00:27:56Not a race, guys.

00:27:58All right, this next song goes out

00:28:00to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony.

00:28:02It's called We Hate You, Please Die.

00:28:04Sweet. Love this one.

00:28:12♪

00:28:16I can't feel you, I can't be you

00:28:18I can't hear you, I can't feel you

00:28:20Cause love don't sting, love don't sting

00:28:22Love don't sting like the coucheskins

00:28:24And I hear my cat in the cold breeze

00:28:26I hear my cat in the cold breeze

00:28:28Lonely, lonely, lonely

00:28:30Lonely like you

00:28:32Thank you.

00:28:34So...

00:28:36...how do you know Scott?

00:28:38He's a friend.

00:28:40He's a friend.

00:28:42It's hard for me to keep track sometimes, because he has so many friends.

00:28:47Knives?

00:28:49Uh, how did you meet Scott?

00:28:51Well...

00:28:53Oh, no.

00:28:56This is a nightmare.

00:29:01We need to play now, and loud!

00:29:03Okay.

00:29:04So, I was on the bus with my mom...

00:29:08Is that seriously the end of the story?

00:29:11Oh, my gosh!

00:29:13Okay.

00:29:14They're on!

00:29:15This next band is from Toronto.

00:29:17And, uh...

00:29:18Yeah.

00:29:19Give it up for Sex Bob-Omb.

00:29:22I love you, Sex Bob-Omb!

00:29:27Scott, you ready?

00:29:28Okay.

00:29:29Kim, are you...

00:29:30We are Sex Bob-Omb!

00:29:32One, two, three, four!

00:29:35Woo!

00:29:36Woo!

00:29:37Oh, oh, oh!

00:29:40Woo!

00:29:42I'll take you for a ride

00:29:46From a garbage truck

00:29:50Oh, no

00:29:53I'll take you to the dump

00:29:57Cause you're my queen

00:30:01Take you uptown

00:30:04I'll show you the sights

00:30:05You know you wanna ride

00:30:09On my garbage truck

00:30:13Truck, truck, truck

00:30:14We'll pass the mansions by

00:30:18And drive right through

00:30:19The needle's eye

00:30:21Oh, my

00:30:24My, my, my, my

00:30:29I got a stereo

00:30:32You just gotta turn it up

00:30:34And, baby, we'll go

00:30:38As far as we can

00:30:41I'll be your garbage man

00:30:45I'll take out your junk

00:30:49And I'll cut your throat

00:30:52Mr. Pilgrim!

00:30:55It is I, Matthew Patel.

00:31:00Consider our fight?

00:31:02Begone!

00:31:04What did I do?

00:31:07What do I do?

00:31:11Fly!

00:31:12Fly! Fly! Fly!

00:31:24All right!

00:31:27All right!

00:31:29Watch out!

00:31:31It's that one guy!

00:31:32Ha!

00:31:57Well, well, well.

00:32:00You're quite the opponent, Pilgrim.

00:32:03Who the hell are you, anyway?

00:32:05My name is Matthew Patel!

00:32:08And I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend.

00:32:16Her what?

00:32:18Anyone need another drink?

00:32:19No, I'm good.

00:32:20I'm good.

00:32:21I'm good.

00:32:22I'm good.

00:32:23Her what?

00:32:25Anyone need another drink?

00:32:38Wait!

00:32:39We're fighting over Ramona?

00:32:41Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation?

00:32:44I skimmed it.

00:32:45Mm-mm.

00:32:46You will pay for your insolence!

00:32:53Ha!

00:33:13Hey.

00:33:14What's up with his outfit?

00:33:16Yeah.

00:33:17Is he a pirate?

00:33:19Are you a pirate?

00:33:20Pirates are in this year?

00:33:22No!

00:33:31You really went out with this guy?

00:33:34Yeah.

00:33:36In the seventh grade.

00:33:40And?

00:33:44It was football season, and for some reason,

00:33:47all the little jocks wanted me.

00:33:50Matthew was the only non-white, non-jock boy in town.

00:33:54So the two of us joined forces, and we took them all down.

00:33:57We brawled and scrapped and fought for hours.

00:34:01Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers.

00:34:04We only kissed once.

00:34:06After a week and a half.

00:34:08Told him to hit the showers.

00:34:10Dude, wait.

00:34:11Mystical powers?

00:34:14You'll pay for this!

00:34:16Flowers!

00:34:19If you want to fight me

00:34:22What?

00:34:23Ha!

00:34:24You're not the brightest

00:34:26You won't know what hit you in the slightest

00:34:36This guy's good.

00:34:37Me and my fireballs

00:34:40My demon hipster chicks

00:34:43Tell him, Matty.

00:34:45I'm talking the talk

00:34:47Cause I know I'm slick

00:34:50S-L-I-C-K

00:34:52Let's all dance

00:34:54Take this sucker down

00:34:59Let us show him

00:35:01What we're all about

00:35:05That doesn't even rhyme.

00:35:10This is impossible.

00:35:11How can this be?

00:35:13Open your eyes.

00:35:14Maybe you'll see.

00:35:18K.O.

00:35:28Sweet. Coins.

00:35:33Well.

00:35:34It was nice meeting you.

00:35:36Tell your gay friends I said bye.

00:35:38Gay friend?

00:35:41Wallace! Again?

00:35:44A man 240?

00:35:46It's not even enough for the bus home.

00:35:48I'll lend you the 35 cents.

00:35:50Yeah, so...

00:35:52Sex Bob-Omb wins.

00:35:56Sex Bob-Omb won?

00:36:05So...

00:36:06What was all that all about?

00:36:08Um...

00:36:10I guess...

00:36:13If we're gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.

00:36:16You have seven evil ex-boyfriends?

00:36:18Seven evil exes, yes.

00:36:19And I have to fight...

00:36:20Defeat.

00:36:21Defeat your seven evil exes if we're going to continue to date?

00:36:25Pretty much.

00:36:26So what you're saying right now is...

00:36:29We are dating?

00:36:31Uh...

00:36:33I guess.

00:36:34Does that mean we can make out?

00:36:36Sure.

00:36:38Cool.

00:36:43Hey!

00:36:48Someone's happy.

00:36:49Well, someone got to second base last night,

00:36:52and someone has a second date tonight.

00:36:55Someone's lucky, then.

00:36:58You know when I say someone, I mean me, right?

00:37:00I got to second base last night.

00:37:02Maybe first and a half.

00:37:06So, I invited Ramona over for dinner tonight.

00:37:09So, I invited Ramona over for dinner tonight.

00:37:12So, you can't be here.

00:37:14I don't want you ganging up the place.

00:37:17Okay, Scott.

00:37:19But in return, I have to issue an ultimatum.

00:37:22One of your famous ultimatums?

00:37:24It may live in infamy.

00:37:26You have to break up with Knives,

00:37:28that poor angel, today.

00:37:32But it's hard.

00:37:35If you don't, I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.

00:37:37I swear to God, Scott.

00:37:38What?

00:37:40Hi, morning.

00:37:41Hey, Jimmy.

00:37:42Double standard!

00:37:43I didn't make up the gay rule book.

00:37:44You got a problem with it?

00:37:45Stop.

00:37:46Pick it up with Liberace's ghost.

00:37:47You're a monster.

00:37:48Give me the bacon and go do your dirt

00:37:50while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon.

00:37:52Who's Lucas Lee?

00:37:53Oh.

00:37:54He was this pretty good skater.

00:37:56Now he's this pretty good actor.

00:37:57He's filming a Winifred Haley movie in Toronto right now.

00:37:59They make movies in Toronto?

00:38:01Yes.

00:38:02I'm stalking him later.

00:38:04So, this Lucas Lee...

00:38:05Lucas Lee is not important to you right now.

00:38:07Get out.

00:38:10You suck.

00:38:11Out.

00:38:12Surprising no one.

00:38:14Out.

00:38:17Now, you listen close and you listen hard, bucko.

00:38:20The next click you hear is me hanging up.

00:38:22The one after that

00:38:24is me pulling the trigger.

00:38:31Oh, hey, Knives.

00:38:32Hey, do you want to, like, talk?

00:38:34Or whatever?

00:38:35Are you wearing a tan jacket

00:38:37like a spring jacket and a hoodie?

00:38:40Um...

00:38:41And a dorky hat?

00:38:43It's not dorky.

00:38:44Why are you psychic?

00:38:45Hey!

00:38:46Hey.

00:38:47Hey.

00:38:49Hey.

00:38:52Oh, my God.

00:38:54I can't believe T-Cat's coming to town.

00:38:56Will you take me to the show?

00:38:58Yeah.

00:38:59Listen, um...

00:39:00Oh, hey, um...

00:39:02I wanted to invite you over for dinner.

00:39:04Like Chinese food?

00:39:06To meet my parents.

00:39:07It's my birthday dinner.

00:39:09I think that's a really bad idea.

00:39:12No, it's okay.

00:39:13Why?

00:39:14I'm too old for you.

00:39:16No, you're not.

00:39:17My dad's nine years older than my mom.

00:39:19Are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever?

00:39:23I don't care.

00:39:25I'm...

00:39:27I'm in...

00:39:30love.

00:39:35Uh...

00:39:37Listen.

00:39:39I was thinking...

00:39:42we should break up or whatever.

00:39:48Really?

00:39:50Yeah.

00:39:52It's not gonna work out.

00:39:56Oh.

00:40:00Oh, my God.

00:40:02Oh, my God.

00:40:28Where's Knives?

00:40:29Not coming in tonight?

00:40:30No, we broke up.

00:40:31Check it out.

00:40:32I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II.

00:40:39Scott, you are the salt of the earth.

00:40:41Oh, thanks.

00:40:42I meant scum of the earth.

00:40:44Thanks.

00:40:45You broke up with Knives?

00:40:47Yeah, but don't worry.

00:40:49Maybe soon you'll meet my new-new girlfriend.

00:40:51New-new.

00:40:54Okay, from here on out,

00:40:56no girlfriends or girlfriend talk at practice.

00:40:59Whether old, new, or new-new,

00:41:02we were lucky to survive the last round.

00:41:04It's sudden death now, okay?

00:41:06Okay.

00:41:14That's for me.

00:41:15That's for me.

00:41:16That's for me.

00:41:17Hey, you're here.

00:41:20Yes, like you said.

00:41:23You know your hair?

00:41:25I know of it.

00:41:26It's all blue.

00:41:27I change my hair every week and a half to get used to it.

00:41:31So...

00:41:33how do you guys all know each other?

00:41:35Um, high school, I guess.

00:41:38What Neil said.

00:41:39I'm Neil.

00:41:41Believe it or not, I actually dated Scott in high school.

00:41:44Got any embarrassing stories?

00:41:45Yeah.

00:41:46He's an idiot.

00:41:47Okay, bye.

00:41:48See you guys tomorrow.

00:41:49What about rehearsal?

00:41:50Neil knows my parts.

00:41:53I'm Neil.

00:41:58Neil knows my parts.

00:42:03You doing okay there?

00:42:04Yeah, good, good, good.

00:42:09She changed her hair.

00:42:10So it looks nice blue.

00:42:11Yeah, I know, but she did it without even making a big deal of it or anything.

00:42:14She's fickle, impulsive, spontaneous.

00:42:17God, what am I gonna do?

00:42:19Can't believe you're worried about me getting up the place.

00:42:23So, how's dinner coming along?

00:42:25Yeah, good, good, good.

00:42:27Okay, well, I'm gonna leave you lovebirds to it.

00:42:30I am heading up to Casa Loma to stock my intro craft.

00:42:34Don't go.

00:42:35Will you man the hell up?

00:42:36You can get the second and a half bass tonight.

00:42:38You think so?

00:42:39Well, if you strike out in the next hour, come find me at the castle.

00:42:42If I strike out?

00:42:43Okay, when?

00:42:44See you in 60.

00:42:50It's actually a really good garlic bread.

00:42:51Garlic bread is my favorite food.

00:42:53I could honestly eat it for every meal.

00:42:55Or just eat it all the time without even stopping.

00:42:58You'd get fat.

00:42:59No, why would I get fat?

00:43:00Bread makes you fat.

00:43:01Bread makes you fat?

00:43:05I wrote a song about you.

00:43:06You did?

00:43:07Yeah, it goes like this.

00:43:26Come on.

00:43:35Can't wait to hear it when it's finished.

00:43:37Finished?

00:43:45Your hair's pretty shaggy.

00:43:46Oh, God, I need a haircut, don't I?

00:43:48What?

00:43:50No, sorry, I just...

00:43:51I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up, but...

00:43:55That was so long ago now I can barely remember.

00:43:58Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place exactly 431 days ago,

00:44:02three hours before his big breakup.

00:44:04He's been cutting his own hair ever since.

00:44:07So long ago.

00:44:09Sounds like a bad time.

00:44:10Bad time?

00:44:11Not really.

00:44:13It was.

00:44:14It was a mutual thing?

00:44:15It wasn't.

00:44:16I mean, she told me it was mutual.

00:44:19She dumped him.

00:44:20It was brutal.

00:44:21What was her name?

00:44:22She was Nat when I knew her, but she stopped liking that name.

00:44:25Then she stopped liking me.

00:44:27Your hair's cute.

00:44:28I like it long.

00:44:29But it'd be cuter short, wouldn't it?

00:44:31What?

00:44:32What?

00:44:34Why are you wearing that hat?

00:44:35I thought we could go for a walk.

00:44:38Tell me we didn't come out here in the cold so you could cover your hair with that hat.

00:44:41No, no.

00:44:42I just love me some walking, you know.

00:44:44Just putting one leg in front of the other like this.

00:44:47Walking.

00:44:48You seem a little...

00:44:50Heightened.

00:44:52Yeah.

00:44:53Yeah, I don't know.

00:44:54I just sort of feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you.

00:44:56Not that I do drugs, unless you do drugs.

00:44:58In which case, I do drugs all the time.

00:45:00Every drug.

00:45:02Yeah, I don't know.

00:45:03Just when I'm with you, things sort of seem a little brighter.

00:45:08What is this place?

00:45:09It's a totally awesome castle.

00:45:10They're shooting this movie here right now.

00:45:12Okay, everybody.

00:45:13Let's do this.

00:45:14Lots to do, everyone.

00:45:15Lots to do.

00:45:16Did you find the guy who's talking?

00:45:17I think I'm about to right now.

00:45:19Mr. Lee is traveling.

00:45:21Mr. Lee?

00:45:22Lucas Lee.

00:45:23Oh.

00:45:25Oh?

00:45:26And roll sound.

00:45:34I want to have his adopted babies.

00:45:41All right, on your marks, everyone.

00:45:42Oh, man.

00:45:43We gotta go.

00:45:44What? Why?

00:45:45I used to date that clown.

00:45:48And...

00:45:49Action.

00:45:50Oh, my God.

00:45:52Hey.

00:45:54The only thing keeping me and her apart

00:45:56are the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.

00:45:58You dated a famous guy?

00:46:00In ninth grade, we had drama.

00:46:02Actually, it might have been math.

00:46:03I just remember there being a lot of drama.

00:46:04Hey.

00:46:05There's a snot in his little brat.

00:46:06He just followed me around.

00:46:07He gets snot in his nose?

00:46:09But he's famous.

00:46:10Hey, I'm talking to you, Scott Pilgrim.

00:46:13He's famous, and he talked to me.

00:46:15The only thing keeping me and her apart

00:46:17is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.

00:46:19Can I have your...

00:46:20Can I have your autograph, please?

00:46:25What's up?

00:46:26How's life?

00:46:27He seems nice.

00:46:37And that's a cut.

00:46:40Scott!

00:46:41Evil-X!

00:46:43Fight.

00:46:44Let's get ready to go again, please.

00:46:45Let's get ready to go again.

00:46:46Hey.

00:46:47All right.

00:46:49You wouldn't think you'd stand a chance

00:46:50against an A-lister, bro.

00:46:55Some competition you are.

00:46:59Hey.

00:47:01Hey!

00:47:03Hey!

00:47:04I'm not done with...

00:47:05Oh!

00:47:09Looks like you're seeing double.

00:47:13He's good, right?

00:47:14Sometimes I let him do the wide shots

00:47:16when I feel like getting blazed back in my Winnie.

00:47:24What can I say?

00:47:27I'm nothing without my stunt team.

00:47:35Hey.

00:47:36Ask him how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds.

00:47:38How does it feel?

00:47:46Huh?

00:48:14Hey, I'm gonna get a coffee.

00:48:15Homies want anything?

00:48:16No, I just made something.

00:48:17No, thank you.

00:48:25Oh, that's actually hilarious.

00:48:29Hilarious.

00:48:32Mr. Lee!

00:48:38You're needed back on set.

00:48:45Oh.

00:49:08Prepare.

00:49:10Prepare to feel the wrath

00:49:12of the League of Evil X's.

00:49:14League of Evil X's?

00:49:16You really don't know about the League?

00:49:18Um...

00:49:19The seven evil X's

00:49:20coming to kill you,

00:49:22controlling the future of Ramona's love life?

00:49:25No.

00:49:26Oh, well, hey, listen, man, don't worry about it.

00:49:28Really?

00:49:29Yeah. Let's go get a beer.

00:49:30Let's go.

00:49:31Boom!

00:49:36You are a pretty good actor.

00:49:38I'm going for the Oscar this year.

00:49:40But are you a pretty good skater?

00:49:42I'm more than pretty good, Essay.

00:49:45I have my own skate company.

00:49:48Can you do a thingy

00:49:50on that rail?

00:49:54It's called a grind, bro.

00:49:56So can you do a grindy thingy now?

00:50:01Are you serious?

00:50:05There are like 200 steps,

00:50:07and the rails are garbage.

00:50:08Well, hey, if it's too hardcore...

00:50:11You really think you can goad me

00:50:12into doing a trick like that?

00:50:14There are girls watching.

00:50:18Somebody get me my board.

00:50:22Hi.

00:50:23Big fan.

00:50:26Why wouldn't you be?

00:50:41Wow.

00:50:45Wow.

00:50:55Wow.

00:50:56Yes!

00:50:57Totally bailed.

00:50:59Ah, I didn't get his autograph.

00:51:01No.

00:51:02And that's a wrap, everybody.

00:51:04Hey, where's Ramona?

00:51:05Is she still here?

00:51:07Nope.

00:51:08Nope.

00:51:09She totally bailed.

00:51:11What's the deal?

00:51:12Seriously.

00:51:17Hey, it's me again.

00:51:18Scott.

00:51:19Give me a call when you get this.

00:51:21Scott Pilgrim.

00:51:24What's the deal?

00:51:25Seriously.

00:51:27Yep, you said that last night.

00:51:29You know what really sucks, though?

00:51:31What?

00:51:33Everything.

00:51:34Come on, guy.

00:51:35Come on, guy.

00:51:37You can't say you didn't see this coming.

00:51:39What?

00:51:42What did you think these were?

00:51:44Kisses?

00:51:45Seven little kisses?

00:51:47Seven deadly exes.

00:51:50Exes.

00:51:51Exes.

00:51:52Oh.

00:51:53Why does everything have to be so complicated?

00:51:57If you want something bad,

00:51:58you have to fight for it.

00:52:00Step up your game, Scott.

00:52:01Break out the L word.

00:52:03Lesbian?

00:52:04The other L word.

00:52:06Lesbians?

00:52:07It's love, Scott.

00:52:08I wasn't trying to trick you.

00:52:10Hey, buddy, look.

00:52:12If she really is the girl of your dreams,

00:52:15then you have to let her know.

00:52:17You have to overcome any and all obstacles

00:52:20that lie in your path.

00:52:21You can do it.

00:52:22Be with her.

00:52:23It's your destiny.

00:52:25Plus, I need you to move out.

00:52:27What?

00:52:28Yeah, I'm kind of banking on her calling you back

00:52:30so I don't have to evict you

00:52:31when you feel all guilty and shit.

00:52:32Hmm?

00:52:33I'm feeling that's for you, gay.

00:52:36Hey.

00:52:37Hey, Scott.

00:52:38Envy?

00:52:39Oh, shit.

00:52:41Been a while.

00:52:42Yeah.

00:52:43A year, I think?

00:52:44Approximately.

00:52:46How are you?

00:52:47I'm not doing so good right now.

00:52:49Oh, that's too bad.

00:52:51Still breaking hearts?

00:52:53What? No, I've been...

00:52:55It's been different.

00:52:56You have no idea.

00:52:57Probably not.

00:52:58Do you have a girlfriend?

00:53:00Should I be jealous?

00:53:02Yes, you should.

00:53:03I have this totally awesome girlfriend

00:53:05who calls me all the time.

00:53:06She's America.

00:53:08She's American.

00:53:09What's her name?

00:53:10I'm not telling you that.

00:53:11Ramona.

00:53:12Oh.

00:53:13What, do you know her?

00:53:14What? No.

00:53:16It sounded like you did.

00:53:17I gotta go.

00:53:18It's been nice chatting with you.

00:53:20Wait.

00:53:27Okay.

00:53:30Everything does suck.

00:53:32Or does it?

00:53:33Hello?

00:53:35Oh, hey, Knives.

00:53:37What's that?

00:53:38You're outside?

00:53:41Is Scott here?

00:53:42Uh, you know what?

00:53:44He just left.

00:53:47Really?

00:53:48Yeah.

00:53:51Sorry.

00:53:55Do you have a girlfriend?

00:53:57Seven deadly exes.

00:54:00You may have to defeat my seven evil exes.

00:54:04It's sudden death now, okay?

00:54:06Got some battle scars, dude.

00:54:08Can't say you didn't see this coming.

00:54:13Dude.

00:54:17Please.

00:54:19I'm really not in the mood for this.

00:54:24Okay, enough!

00:54:28Ugh!

00:54:32You punched me in the boob!

00:54:35Prepare to die, obviously.

00:54:37Look, I've had it today.

00:54:38Can we not do this right now?

00:54:39Oh, I'd love to postpone, darling.

00:54:41But I just cashed my last rain check.

00:54:44What's that from?

00:54:45My brain!

00:54:46Well, I'm really, really not up for this.

00:54:48Whatever it is.

00:54:49Okay, little chicken.

00:54:51I'll see you later.

00:54:53But you won't see me.

00:54:54Because next time, I'll be deadly serious next time.

00:54:58What?

00:54:59Never mind!

00:55:02Man, someone help me.

00:55:05Hello?

00:55:06It's Scott.

00:55:07What did he do this time?

00:55:08No, it's Scott. It's actually me.

00:55:10What did you do this time?

00:55:11I didn't do anything. It's everyone else that's crazy.

00:55:13Look, I'm having a meltdown or whatever. Are you still working?

00:55:15I'm literally about to leave.

00:55:16Cool, I'm coming in.

00:55:24I think I'll make it a decaf today.

00:55:26Stop, Pilgrim!

00:55:27What did you do with my sister?

00:55:32So, what can I f***ing get you?

00:55:34Is there anywhere you don't work?

00:55:35They're called jobs.

00:55:36Something a f***ing folic you wouldn't know anything about.

00:55:38And by the way, I can't f***ing believe you asked Ramona out after I specifically told you not to f***ing do that.

00:55:43How are you doing that with your mouth?

00:55:45You never f***ing mind how I'm doing it.

00:55:47What do you have to say for yourself?

00:55:49Can I get a caramel macchiato?

00:55:51You know what? Maybe it's high f***ing time

00:55:53you took a look in the mirror before you wreak havoc on another girl.

00:55:55Me? Wreak havoc?

00:55:57And speaking of f***ing which, I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass is walking the streets of Toronto again.

00:56:02So I can just get my coffee over here?

00:56:07Sorry that got a little crazy last night.

00:56:09Yeah, you kind of disappeared.

00:56:11Yeah, I do that.

00:56:15Listen, I know I can be hard to be around sometimes.

00:56:19I totally understand if you don't want to hang out anymore.

00:56:21No, no, I want to hang.

00:56:23You know, the whole evil ex-boyfriend thing.

00:56:25Exes.

00:56:26It's no biggie.

00:56:28And you know, I know it's early, but I don't think anything can get in the way of how I s***.

00:56:36It's my ex.

00:56:37The big one?

00:56:38Mm-hmm.

00:56:39Damn it, Faye.

00:56:45Excuse me.

00:56:46Excuse me.

00:56:50Your hair's getting shaggy.

00:56:51Yeah?

00:56:52So, that's Ramona.

00:56:54Yeah.

00:56:55Okay, I'm jealous.

00:56:57You're jealous?

00:56:58I'm allowed.

00:56:59You left me for that cocky pretty boy.

00:57:01You haven't even seen him.

00:57:03I know, you left me for someone I've never even seen.

00:57:06Maybe you will see him.

00:57:07We're playing Lease Palace.

00:57:09You should so totally come.

00:57:11That's so not going to happen.

00:57:14Great.

00:57:15You're still on the list.

00:57:18Caramel macchiato.

00:57:20Or f***ing pilgrim.

00:57:22So, that was Envy.

00:57:23Uh-huh.

00:57:24What happened with the two of you?

00:57:26Do you mind if we don't get into it right now?

00:57:28She wanted to move to Montreal because she missed her best friend.

00:57:31This guy, Todd.

00:57:33Two weeks later, they were sleeping together, I guess.

00:57:35Basically.

00:57:36Did hear of Todd once.

00:57:38Didn't end well either.

00:57:40I can see how it sucks.

00:57:42Having the past come back to haunt you.

00:57:44Is it wrong that I try not to think about it?

00:57:46What do you want to think about?

00:57:48How warm my place is right now.

00:57:50Oh.

00:57:53And you didn't bang her?

00:57:55Are you gay?

00:57:56I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.

00:57:59Is that the Uma Thurman movie?

00:58:00Scott, just because Envy's back in town doesn't make it not over.

00:58:05Double negative.

00:58:06It's tricky.

00:58:07It's over.

00:58:08Move onward.

00:58:10Right.

00:58:11I'm not going to let her toy with me.

00:58:13From this moment on, I will think of Envy Adams no more.

00:58:19I have distressing news.

00:58:21Is it news that we suck because I really don't think I can take it?

00:58:24No.

00:58:25Clash of Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night,

00:58:27and Envy asked us to open for them.

00:58:29I hate you.

00:58:30A gig is a gig is a gig is a gig.

00:58:32Maybe you can put your history aside until we get through this thing, you know?

00:58:35For the band.

00:58:36For the band.

00:58:37For the band.

00:58:38Can't we do our own...

00:58:39For the band!

00:58:40...secret shows?

00:58:41All our shows are secret shows.

00:58:43We're doing it.

00:58:44G-Man might be there.

00:58:45We play the next round of the battle on Tuesday.

00:58:47We got to get some buzz going.

00:58:49We need groundswell.

00:58:51We need stalkers.

00:59:00What would you do if your ex was in a band and they wanted you to open for them?

00:59:03If my ex was in the band?

00:59:05Mm-hmm.

00:59:07It's a little awkward, but maybe it's the grown-up thing to do.

00:59:10Yeah.

00:59:11We're all adults here, right?

00:59:14Oh, my God!

00:59:16He's dating a badass hipster chick.

00:59:18I hate her stupid guts.

00:59:20He only likes her because she's old.

00:59:22She's probably like 25!

00:59:25Oh, she's just a badass white girl, you know?

00:59:28I think you mentioned she was fat.

00:59:30She's got a head start.

00:59:31I mean, I didn't even know there was good music until like two months ago.

00:59:35Lily Bird, you should rinse.

00:59:37When I got this idea, I just thought,

00:59:39I have to do it!

00:59:41I can't hear anything you're saying.

00:59:43Oh, God!

00:59:45I look so...

00:59:47good.

00:59:49Ramona Flowers stole my Scott.

00:59:52But I know how to get him back.

00:59:55How?

01:00:05Come on, come on!

01:00:08Come on, come on!

01:00:14Thank you.

01:00:15We were Sex Bob-Omb.

01:00:17Yeah!

01:00:18We have some merch at the back, so...

01:00:22Okay, bar? Now?

01:00:28Level with me.

01:00:29Did we suck?

01:00:31I don't know. Did you?

01:00:34She has to go.

01:00:36She knows we suck.

01:00:41Hey, Ramona.

01:00:45Hey.

01:00:47What the hell?

01:00:58Hey.

01:00:59Hey, Scott.

01:01:01What the hell?

01:01:03Look who Knives is hanging out with.

01:01:05Who is that girl again?

01:01:07Scott dated her.

01:01:08Briefly, briefly.

01:01:09How old is she?

01:01:15I gotta pee on her.

01:01:16I mean, I gotta pee.

01:01:18Pee time.

01:01:21And then, it was time

01:01:24for Toronto to drown in the sweet sorrow

01:01:28of the crash at Dreamland.

01:01:41That guy on bass?

01:01:42Oh, yeah.

01:01:44That's Todd.

01:01:45I know.

01:01:46Oh, yeah.

01:01:49You know?

01:01:50Oh, yeah!

01:01:53Oh, no.

01:01:54Hello again

01:01:56Friend of a friend

01:01:58I knew you were

01:02:02Our common goal

01:02:04Was waiting for

01:02:06The world to end

01:02:10Now that the truth

01:02:12Is just a rule

01:02:14That you command

01:02:18You crack the whip

01:02:20Shapeshift and trick

01:02:22The past again

01:02:24Send you my love

01:02:26On a wire

01:02:28Lift you up

01:02:30Every time

01:02:32Everyone

01:02:34Ooh

01:02:36Falls away

01:02:38Ooh

01:02:39From you

01:02:43That was...

01:02:44That was devastating.

01:02:45Oh, my God, just...

01:02:46Oh, my God.

01:02:47Yeah, yeah.

01:02:48You should see him live.

01:02:49Much better live.

01:02:50I think I'm gonna throw up.

01:02:51Ugh!

01:02:53I can't even believe I'm saying this,

01:02:55but Envy Adams would like you all to come backstage.

01:02:58All of us?

01:02:59Did I f*** his daughter?

01:03:05Wait, how do you know Envy?

01:03:07Scott dated her.

01:03:13Hey, Ramona.

01:03:15Hey, Todd.

01:03:17It's been a while.

01:03:18Mm-hmm.

01:03:20Mm-hmm.

01:03:21I think we should get out of here.

01:03:23So, how was the tour?

01:03:24You guys played with the pixies?

01:03:25You're like a superstar now.

01:03:26Yeah, it's, uh, not really something I can put into words.

01:03:29Um, Envy,

01:03:31I read your blog.

01:03:33So, Scott and Ramona, eh?

01:03:36One of it.

01:03:37You guys make a cute couple, you know?

01:03:39Suit each other.

01:03:41You're my role model, Envy.

01:03:43Ramona, I like your outfit.

01:03:45Affordable?

01:03:46Envy, I was just gonna say,

01:03:47did you get those jeans in New York?

01:03:48I'm talking to Ramona right now.

01:03:51Ramona lived in New York?

01:03:52Oh, did she?

01:03:53I was just there.

01:03:54Played the chaos theater for Gideon.

01:03:57You know him, right?

01:03:59I've kissed the lips that kiss you!

01:04:06Nice!

01:04:08What?

01:04:09I'm not afraid to hit a girl.

01:04:12I'm a rock star.

01:04:14Oh, my God.

01:04:15Oh, my God.

01:04:17You punched the highlights out of her hair.

01:04:21You punched the highlights out of her hair!

01:04:24You are incorrigible.

01:04:26I don't know the meaning of the word.

01:04:30So, uh,

01:04:32you guys doing anything fun while you're in town?

01:04:35Fun?

01:04:36In Toronto?

01:04:38That's it!

01:04:39You cocky cock!

01:04:41You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!

01:04:46You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!

01:04:56I'm back.

01:04:59You're here.

01:05:01Didn't you know?

01:05:02Todd's vegan.

01:05:10Vegan?

01:05:12It's not really that big of a deal.

01:05:16No kidding.

01:05:19Anyone can be vegan.

01:05:21Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe.

01:05:24Ovo-what?

01:05:25I partake not in the meat,

01:05:27nor the breast milk,

01:05:28nor the ovum of any creature

01:05:31with a face.

01:05:32Short answer,

01:05:33being vegan just makes you better than most people.

01:05:36Bingo.

01:05:40Hey, man, question?

01:05:42I always wondered,

01:05:43how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers?

01:05:46Okay.

01:05:48You know how you only use 10% of your brain?

01:05:50That's because the other 90% is filled with curds and whey.

01:05:53Did you learn that at vegan academy?

01:05:55Go ahead and get snippy, baby.

01:05:57If you knew the science,

01:05:58maybe I'd listen to a word you said.

01:06:04If I peed my pants,

01:06:05would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?

01:06:07It's not raining.

01:06:08Oh.

01:06:09Then why don't you give me the cliff notes

01:06:11on how and why you ended up dating this a-hole?

01:06:13Is that really important right now?

01:06:15Well, if there's a key element in his backstory

01:06:17that's gonna help me out in a critical moment of not dying, yes.

01:06:22I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.

01:06:26I guess that's not very nice,

01:06:27but I used to be kind of like that.

01:06:30We hated everyone.

01:06:31We wrecked stuff.

01:06:32Nobody cared.

01:06:34He punched a hole in the moon for me.

01:06:36It was pretty crazy.

01:06:38A week and a half later,

01:06:39he told me his dad was sending him to vegan academy,

01:06:41so I dumped him.

01:06:44Have you dumped everyone you've ever been with?

01:06:46You've never been the dumpy?

01:06:48Look, I've dabbled in being a bitch.

01:06:51It's part of the reason I moved here.

01:06:53I was really hoping to just leave it all behind me.

01:06:56Hey, lovebirds.

01:06:59We have unfinished business, I and he.

01:07:02He and me?

01:07:03Don't you talk to me about grammar.

01:07:05I dislike you, capisce?

01:07:07Talk to the cleaning lady on Monday.

01:07:09What?

01:07:10Because you'll be dust by Monday.

01:07:12Um...

01:07:13Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds.

01:07:15And the cleaning lady?

01:07:17She cleans up.

01:07:18Dust.

01:07:19She dusts.

01:07:22So...

01:07:23So what's on Monday?

01:07:25Because...

01:07:27It's Friday now.

01:07:28She's the weekend's off, so...

01:07:30Monday.

01:07:31Right?

01:07:32Basically, you can't win this fight,

01:07:34so you're gonna have to give up on this girl,

01:07:35because Todd's gonna kill you.

01:07:37You used to be so nice!

01:07:51Uh, Scott?

01:07:52We're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice.

01:07:54Call us when you're done.

01:07:56Oh, he'll be done.

01:07:57Real soon.

01:08:02Sounds like someone wants to get...

01:08:04funky.

01:08:34Whoa.

01:09:05Whoa!

01:09:28I can read your thoughts.

01:09:30Your will is broken.

01:09:31You're through.

01:09:33What do we drink to my memory?

01:09:35Fair trade blend with the soy milk?

01:09:37Ha! I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.

01:09:39Dude, I can see in your mind's eye

01:09:41that you put half and half into one of those coffees

01:09:43in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.

01:09:46I'll take the one with soy.

01:09:50Thanks, tool.

01:09:54Actually, muchacho,

01:09:55I poured the soy in this cup,

01:09:57but I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup.

01:10:00You know, in my mind's eye or whatever.

01:10:03What are you talking about?

01:10:05You just drank half and half, baby.

01:10:08Freeze!

01:10:09Vegan police!

01:10:10Vegan police!

01:10:11Todd Ingram,

01:10:12you're under arrest for veganity violation.

01:10:14Code number 827.

01:10:16Five and a half and a half.

01:10:18It's bull roar!

01:10:19No vegan diet.

01:10:20No vegan powers!

01:10:21But, but...

01:10:22It's only my first offense,

01:10:23so don't I get three strikes?

01:10:25Take it.

01:10:27At 1227 a.m. on February 1st,

01:10:29you know I only ingested gelato.

01:10:32Gelato isn't vegan.

01:10:33It's milk and eggs, bitch.

01:10:35On April 4th, 7.30 p.m.,

01:10:36you partook a plate of chicken parmesan.

01:10:39Chicken isn't vegan?

01:10:41The de-vegan egg's ready.

01:10:43Hit him.

01:10:59Oh, my God.

01:11:03You once were a vegan,

01:11:06but now you will be gone.

01:11:09Vegan?

01:11:25Yeah!

01:11:27Yeah!

01:11:32Uh...

01:11:34Sorry, I guess.

01:11:37Sorry?

01:11:39You just head-butted my boyfriend so hard,

01:11:41he burst.

01:11:43You kicked my heart in the ass,

01:11:45so I guess we're even.

01:11:48Natalie?

01:11:51Natalie?

01:11:53No one calls me that anymore.

01:11:57Maybe they should.

01:12:01Let's get out of here.

01:12:10For the record,

01:12:11I am so pissed off for you right now.

01:12:13Shut the fuck up, Julie.

01:12:15Okay.

01:12:17Still go to the after-party, right?

01:12:19Not sure there's gonna be much of a party.

01:12:21I think a third of the band just went proof.

01:12:23Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties.

01:12:26It's just the desperate people

01:12:27trying to rub elbows with the label guys.

01:12:29No, my would be, um...

01:12:31Neil, you down?

01:12:33Scott, you're in, right?

01:12:35You wanna go?

01:12:37Well, I kind of almost died back there.

01:12:40I'm not saying I wanna go.

01:12:41Hey, we can totally go.

01:12:42I'll do whatever you wanna do.

01:12:43So let's go.

01:12:45We really don't have to go to this thing.

01:12:47It'll probably be a bad scene all around.

01:12:49No, I'm fine.

01:12:50It's just...

01:12:52It's just?

01:12:53Well...

01:12:54Have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?

01:12:57Well, so far, you're not a total ass.

01:12:59But I'm part ass?

01:13:00If it makes you feel anybody,

01:13:01you're the nicest guy I've dated.

01:13:03Wait, is that good?

01:13:04It's what I need right now.

01:13:05But not later?

01:13:06Scott, I don't have all the answers, okay?

01:13:08I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.

01:13:11I'd just like to live.

01:13:13Look, I know Todd was bad news,

01:13:14but are you saying Envy wasn't?

01:13:16They all have baggage.

01:13:17Yeah, well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me

01:13:19every five minutes.

01:13:20What did you do to make your ex-boyfriend so insane?

01:13:22Exes.

01:13:23Whatever.

01:13:24No breakup is painless.

01:13:25Somebody always gets hurt.

01:13:26What about you and that girl Knives?

01:13:28Who broke up with who?

01:13:29I believe I broke up with her.

01:13:31And was she cool with that?

01:13:33Knives is with young Neil now.

01:13:34She's totally cool with it.

01:13:35You're sure about that?

01:13:36Yeah, she's very mature for her age.

01:13:38We had a very healthy breakup.

01:13:39We're all peaches and gravy.

01:13:41No!

01:13:42What about you and Kim?

01:13:43Me and Kim?

01:13:44I can barely remember.

01:13:46It was high school.

01:13:47She had freckles.

01:13:48That's it?

01:13:49Yeah, it kind of ended.

01:13:51We changed.

01:13:52That's really the whole story?

01:13:53Okay, fine.

01:13:54I had to fight a guy to be with her, okay?

01:13:56I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall, purple-suited dude,

01:13:58and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him.

01:14:00He was flying and shooting lightning bolts

01:14:02from his eyes, okay?

01:14:03And I kicked him so hard that he saw

01:14:04the curvature of the earth.

01:14:05Does that make you feel any better?

01:14:08Well, now you are, being a total ass.

01:14:10Welcome to the club.

01:14:12I'm sorry.

01:14:13I'm not usually like this.

01:14:14Hey, don't worry.

01:14:16I don't even know what I'm like anymore.

01:14:18This ex-boyfriend's thing is messing with my head.

01:14:21Exes.

01:14:22Why do you keep saying that?

01:14:30The girl from earlier?

01:14:32Roxy?

01:14:33You know this girl?

01:14:34Oh, boy.

01:14:35Does she know me?

01:14:37What is she talking about?

01:14:40He really doesn't know?

01:14:43Wait.

01:14:49You and her?

01:14:50It was just a phase.

01:14:51Just a phase?

01:14:52You had a sexy phase?

01:14:53It meant nothing.

01:14:54I didn't think it would count.

01:14:55It meant nothing?

01:14:56I was just a little bi-curious.

01:14:57Well, honey, I'm a little bi-curious.

01:15:13Do that again, and I will end you.

01:15:15Back off, has-been.

01:15:17If Gideon can't have you, no one can.

01:15:21The lead!

01:15:22Ha!

01:15:23Spoken!

01:15:24Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here,

01:15:27because I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North.

01:15:44Ross?

01:15:45Uh-huh?

01:15:46This is happening, right?

01:15:47Oh, yeah.

01:15:48Kick her in the balls!

01:16:12I'm sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces, you drag!

01:16:17Ha!

01:16:24I'd rather be dead than go back.

01:16:25He's a creep, you're a bitch, and you all deserve each other.

01:16:28Give it a rest, Ramona.

01:16:29This is a league game.

01:16:30Meaning?

01:16:31Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists!

01:16:37I don't think I can hit a girl.

01:16:40They're soft.

01:16:41You don't have a choice.

01:16:46Ha!

01:17:01Fight your own battle, lazy ass!

01:17:10Lazy ass!

01:17:17Every pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.

01:17:20Some sooner than others.

01:17:24Your BF's about to get effed in the B!

01:17:29The weak one's the back of her knees.

01:17:31Wait, how does that work?

01:17:33Whenever we were making out, I would just...

01:17:36Okay, enough!

01:17:46You'll never be able to do this!

01:18:06So...

01:18:07Two gin and tonics, please.

01:18:08I thought you didn't drink.

01:18:09Only on special occasions.

01:18:11Why did you want one?

01:18:13I guess we really don't know that much about each other, do we?

01:18:15Maybe you could just give me a list of all your exes

01:18:18so that I can at least know who's gonna beat my ass into the ground next.

01:18:22Oh, like a handy little laminate or something?

01:18:23Let me see if I have one.

01:18:24Maybe we could exchange our information.

01:18:26Hey, just out of sheer curiosity and concern for my mortal well-being,

01:18:30is there anyone at this party that you haven't slept with?

01:18:38I think we should split.

01:18:40As in get out of here, or as in split split?

01:18:42I'd hope you could figure that out.

01:18:44Did you miss the part where I saved your ass?

01:18:46How could I? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.

01:18:49Dirty laundry. You're drunk.

01:18:50I had, like, one drink.

01:18:51I'm sorry I cared.

01:18:53You know, I don't enjoy all this, Scott.

01:18:54In fact, I'm sick of it.

01:18:55I thought you might be more understanding.

01:18:57Just another evil ex waiting to happen.

01:19:03That was harsh.

01:19:06That was...

01:19:07Not good.

01:19:09That was rude or something.

01:19:12One more?

01:19:13P.S. Here's your stupid list.

01:19:17Matthew Battelle, Good Sleep, Tony Hawk, Roxy Richter.

01:19:20Who the hell are the Katia Nagy twins?

01:19:22Oh.

01:19:25You don't know?

01:19:26The Katia Nagy twins just happen to be the next band into battle.

01:19:30And they are...

01:19:33totally badass.

01:19:34Ramona dated twins?

01:19:35Apparently.

01:19:36At the same time.

01:19:37You know what?

01:19:38I don't know and I don't want to know.

01:19:40Good.

01:19:41Because you know how I feel about girls blocking the rock.

01:19:43Good. I play better when I'm in a bad mood.

01:19:45If it's going to be an issue, though, young Neil can fill in for you.

01:19:47It's not an issue.

01:19:48You know bands. I know battles.

01:19:49We got it covered.

01:19:50Well, we'd understand if you didn't want to take part.

01:19:52Not only do I want to take part.

01:19:54I want to take them apart.

01:19:55Okay.

01:19:56I'm getting tingles.

01:19:57Whoa.

01:20:00Okay, we're doomed.

01:20:01Oh.

01:20:02That poster needs more exclamation marks.

01:20:05Oh, man. We're going to get killed.

01:20:07Come on. We're going on in five minutes.

01:20:09Wait. Aren't the Caddy and Aggies going on first?

01:20:11I think you're both going first.

01:20:14Wait. Amp versus Amp?

01:20:16We're going on stage at the same time?

01:20:18That's impossible.

01:20:21Okay. My bad.

01:20:22Your bad is saying my bad.

01:20:26We shouldn't even be here.

01:20:27We shouldn't even be here.

01:20:28Come on, man.

01:20:29I put my problems aside for the music.

01:20:31If I can do that, we can do anything.

01:20:32Did you speak to Ramona, then?

01:20:34What? No.

01:20:35I haven't seen her since the other night.

01:20:37She's totally here.

01:20:42Scott.

01:20:44Not that I care.

01:20:45You should go talk to her before she's gone.

01:20:48Thanks, Kim.

01:20:49And I really don't care.

01:21:08No!

01:21:34Okay, gang. Can we do this?

01:21:36I mean, we can do this, right?

01:21:37Right.

01:21:38Scott?

01:21:41Scott!

01:22:00They tore the roof off!

01:22:07We are Sex Bob-Omb,

01:22:08and we're here to make you think about death

01:22:10and get sad and stuff!

01:22:14This is the beginning of the song.

01:22:37Oh, my God.

01:22:39Oh, my God.

01:23:05Let's just break up now and get it over with.

01:23:08You screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves.

01:23:11We're done.

01:23:12Gideon's here?

01:23:13Where?

01:23:14That geeky guy next to your girlfriend.

01:23:18That's Gideon?

01:23:19Gideon is G-Man?

01:23:22All right.

01:23:23Let's do this.

01:23:39Come on!

01:23:47Come on!

01:24:09Oh, my God.

01:24:23We're out.

01:24:29What are you doing?

01:24:30Getting a life.

01:24:39I wish I could run and reach

01:24:41And want to let you feel that

01:24:45Grace came to see your show.

01:24:47I wish I could run and reach

01:24:48And want to let you feel that

01:24:51I have to...

01:24:52I wish I could run and reach

01:24:53And want to let you feel that

01:25:00Ramona!

01:25:02Ramona!

01:25:04I need to tell you something.

01:25:05Yeah, I have something I have to tell you, too.

01:25:07Great, listen.

01:25:08I know you play mysterious in aloof

01:25:09Just to avoid getting hurt.

01:25:11And I know you have reasons

01:25:12For not wanting to talk about your past.

01:25:15I want you to know

01:25:16I don't care about any of that stuff.

01:25:19Because I'm in lesbians with you.

01:25:21What?

01:25:22I really, really mean it.

01:25:26Oh.

01:25:27Okay.

01:25:28Your turn.

01:25:29What did you want to tell me?

01:25:31That we have to break up.

01:25:34What?

01:25:35It's Gideon.

01:25:37I just can't...

01:25:41I can't help myself, right?

01:25:42That's the bad news.

01:25:45Hey.

01:25:46The good news

01:25:47Is that I'm officially loving the sex bombs.

01:25:50Pop bomb.

01:25:51Three-piece rock outfit

01:25:52With a smoking hot redhead on drums.

01:25:54Music to my ear holes.

01:25:57You know what?

01:25:58I'm not even gonna wait

01:25:59To see how you guys do in the final.

01:26:01I'm signing you right now

01:26:02For a three-album contract.

01:26:04See?

01:26:05I'm not such a bad guy after all.

01:26:07You think we're gonna sell our souls to you?

01:26:09Well, guess again.

01:26:10No, no.

01:26:11I can't be a part of the band

01:26:12With this douche in charge.

01:26:14Ow.

01:26:15Scott.

01:26:16You gotta try to keep your emotions in check, man.

01:26:19Don't let what's past ruin your future.

01:26:22The people need to hear us, Scott.

01:26:23Well, then you're gonna have to find someone else

01:26:25To play bass.

01:26:28Whoops.

01:26:30Sign, sign, sign.

01:26:31And we are all set.

01:26:34Sweetie, shall we?

01:26:43Oh, Scott.

01:26:45You know, we really should be thanking each other.

01:26:47I mean, if it wasn't for me,

01:26:49Ramona would never have been with you.

01:26:50But if it wasn't for you,

01:26:51She wouldn't have gotten back with me.

01:26:53So I guess it all shakes out, huh?

01:26:55Oh, buddy, buddy.

01:27:00Between you and I,

01:27:02And the whole league of evil exes thing,

01:27:04I was in a really dark place when I put that together.

01:27:07So...

01:27:09Forgiven?

01:27:10All right, let's go!

01:27:16Guys, we are on our way.

01:27:22I said lesbians.

01:27:25Ramona

01:27:32Ramona

01:27:37Oh, my baby

01:27:41Ramona

01:27:52Scott.

01:27:54Was she really the one?

01:27:56The what?

01:27:58I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?

01:28:01What?

01:28:03Those jetpacks.

01:28:11Time heals all wounds, little brother.

01:28:13Maybe next time,

01:28:15We don't date the girl with 11 evil ex-boyfriends.

01:28:18Seven.

01:28:19Oh, that's not that bad.

01:28:23Hey.

01:28:24Yeah, I know.

01:28:25Oh, it's so pathetic.

01:28:31Turn off the light!

01:28:35Presumably, you just saw some guy's junk.

01:28:38And I apologize for that.

01:28:40Okay.

01:28:41And he apologizes, too.

01:28:43Sorry.

01:28:45Scott.

01:28:47You know I love you.

01:28:49But I'm gonna need my own bed tonight.

01:28:51It's for sex.

01:28:53Right.

01:28:55I may need it for the rest of the week, too.

01:28:58Right.

01:29:00And the year.

01:29:01I get it.

01:29:03Maybe you can move in with Ramona.

01:29:05She's with Gideon.

01:29:07Oh, man.

01:29:09It's probably just because he's better than you.

01:29:11Either way,

01:29:13This fight is over.

01:29:24It's for Scott.

01:29:26It's for you, big guy.

01:29:30Hello.

01:29:31Hey, pal.

01:29:33I just want to say I feel terrible about earlier.

01:29:36I don't want any hard feelings.

01:29:38So I figured, why not be the bigger man

01:29:40And just give you a call?

01:29:41Is Ramona with you?

01:29:43I don't know.

01:29:45Are you with me?

01:29:47Yeah.

01:29:50Jeez, buddy.

01:29:51It's gonna be all right.

01:29:54I just spilled hot cocoa on my crotch.

01:29:57Listen, as you know,

01:29:59I'm opening a new chaos theater in Toronto.

01:30:01And the sex pops are playing our grand opening tonight.

01:30:03And it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren't there.

01:30:06They just did a sound check,

01:30:08And the acoustics in here are amazing!

01:30:10Yeah, maybe I'll see you there.

01:30:12I hope so, amigo.

01:30:14I don't want any more bad blood between exes.

01:30:16What do you say?

01:30:18Okay, laters.

01:30:20What a perfect asshole.

01:30:24Forget what I said earlier.

01:30:26Finish him.

01:30:51Password?

01:30:52Whatever.

01:30:54Cool.

01:30:59Second password?

01:31:04Cool.

01:31:11I don't know, man.

01:31:12The first album is much better than the first album.

01:31:23Scott!

01:31:25Let it go.

01:31:27Don't give him the satisfaction.

01:31:29What if I want the satisfaction?

01:31:31Scott Pilgrim!

01:31:33Hey!

01:31:35Buddy, welcome to the chaos theater!

01:31:37Somebody get this man a drink.

01:31:39Coke Zero, right?

01:31:46I'm not here to drink.

01:31:48Whoa.

01:31:49Well, I've got no beef with you.

01:31:51Well, what if I have a beef...

01:31:53with you?

01:31:55Are you still mad about the whole thing with the guild?

01:31:58You mean the league?

01:31:59The guild league? Whatever.

01:32:01It's ancient history.

01:32:02I'll show you how ancient of history it is.

01:32:04Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:32:05There's no use crying over spilled Coke, buddy.

01:32:08The lady made her choice,

01:32:10And we're all just gonna have to...

01:32:12move on.

01:32:13Well, I ain't moving, buddy.

01:32:16You want to fight me...

01:32:18for her?

01:32:19Was that not clear?

01:32:24Was that not clear?

01:32:25I don't know.

01:32:26Now, why on earth...

01:32:28would you want to do...

01:32:31that?

01:32:32Because I'm in love with her.

01:32:35Scott earned the power of love.

01:32:45Oh, I think this deserves a song.

01:32:48Really?

01:32:49We are Sex Bob-Omb.

01:32:51We are here to make money and sell out and stuff.

01:32:54One, two, three, four!

01:33:18Kill him!

01:33:49Oh!

01:33:53The club sucks, by the way.

01:33:55Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste

01:33:58holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities,

01:34:02then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises...

01:34:08and a fast entrance...

01:34:10into hell!

01:34:11Scott!

01:34:13Scott!

01:34:18Knives?

01:34:19That's priceless.

01:34:21You'll pay for what you did to him!

01:34:23Listen, Kung-Pow Chicken.

01:34:25Your old, old boyfriend brought this all on himself.

01:34:28He was warned plenty of times, but did he listen?

01:34:30No.

01:34:31I'm not talking to you.

01:34:32I'm talking to her!

01:34:33Her!

01:34:34Her!

01:34:35What?

01:34:36You broke the heart that broke mine.

01:34:37Get ready to turn to!

01:34:41You're kidding, right?

01:34:46Wow.

01:34:47I mean, you can't say I don't know how to put on a show, right?

01:34:50And that's incredible!

01:35:03What the hell is your deal?

01:35:10You stole him!

01:35:13You stole him!

01:35:14I don't know what you're talking about!

01:35:16You lied!

01:35:19I didn't steal your boyfriend!

01:35:21I didn't steal Scott!

01:35:23I didn't steal anyone!

01:35:33You stole my boyfriend!

01:35:35Wait, wait, wait!

01:35:36Can we please stop all this fighting?

01:35:38Nobody stole anybody.

01:35:39Knives, I dated you and then I dated Ramona, okay?

01:35:44I mean, maybe I forgot to tell Knives right away.

01:35:49You cheated on me, Scott.

01:35:52You cheated on both of us.

01:35:54You cheated on me with Knives.

01:35:56No, I...

01:35:59cheated on Knives with you.

01:36:02Is there a difference?

01:36:04You weren't wronged.

01:36:07Right?

01:36:10Game over.

01:36:17Scotty, you can cheat on these ladies all you like,

01:36:22but you can't cheat death.

01:36:28Oh, man.

01:36:30Sorry.

01:36:33Dying's gotta suck.

01:36:35You know what sucks?

01:36:37Getting killed by that guy.

01:36:39Why him?

01:36:41It's complicated.

01:36:43Well, I'm not going anywhere, so...

01:36:46now might be a good time to get into it.

01:36:50Truth is,

01:36:52I don't want to die.

01:36:55Truth is,

01:36:57it was me who was obsessed.

01:37:01I was crazy about him.

01:37:03He ignored me.

01:37:05I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.

01:37:10So I had to leave.

01:37:13And that's when he started paying attention to me.

01:37:16So why go back?

01:37:18I can't help myself around him, Scott. He just...

01:37:21It's his way of getting into my head.

01:37:24Well, that's legitimately disappointing.

01:37:27I really will leave you alone forever now.

01:37:29No, I mean, he literally has a way of getting into my head.

01:37:33That is evil.

01:37:37I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this, Scott.

01:37:40I just wanted something simple.

01:37:44I'm sorry it had to end this way.

01:37:47Well, I really fought for you.

01:37:49Maybe I'm not the one you should have been fighting for.

01:37:55What? What?

01:37:58What?

01:38:00I feel like I learned something.

01:38:03Which would be great if I wasn't dead.

01:38:07So...

01:38:09so alone.

01:38:11You're not alone.

01:38:15Right.

01:38:20Right.

01:38:26Your hair looks stupid.

01:38:29Second password.

01:38:35I mean, it's not as if the comic book is better than the movie.

01:38:40Scott!

01:38:41Let it go.

01:38:42Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

01:38:44Steven, the new line-up rocks. You guys sound way better without me.

01:38:46Young Neil, you have learned well.

01:38:48From this point forward, you will be known as...

01:38:50Neil.

01:38:52And Kim...

01:38:54I'm sorry about everything.

01:38:57I'm sorry about me.

01:39:00Scott Pilgrim!

01:39:02Hey, buddy!

01:39:03Save it!

01:39:04You're pretentious. This club sucks.

01:39:06I've got beef. Let's do it.

01:39:08Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:39:11You want to fight me...

01:39:13for her?

01:39:15No.

01:39:17I want you for me.

01:39:19Scott earned the power of self-respect.

01:39:24Um...

01:39:25Kim!

01:39:26We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to watch Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in!

01:39:31One, two, three, four!

01:39:48No!

01:39:53How's it going back there?

01:39:56You...

01:39:57dick.

01:39:59Knives?

01:40:00I know you're in here. Don't attack for now.

01:40:02Scott!

01:40:06Steal my boyfriend.

01:40:08Taste my steel.

01:40:11No, Scott!

01:40:13This fat ass hurt me and I will have my revenge!

01:40:15No, Knives, I hurt you.

01:40:18I cheated on you.

01:40:21I cheated on both of you.

01:40:25I'm really sorry.

01:40:27And you're not a fat ass.

01:40:29She didn't mean that.

01:40:33So are we all good?

01:40:38Never felt better.

01:40:39Yoo-hoo!

01:40:42Are we done with the hugging and learning?

01:40:46I thought we had a fight going on here!

01:40:48Oh, you've got a fight, all right.

01:40:51Wrong move, baby.

01:41:12Whoa!

01:41:24You made me swallow my gum.

01:41:29It's gonna be in my digestive tract for seven years!

01:41:42No!

01:41:45No!

01:42:11Yeah.

01:42:17Yeah.

01:42:19Still my girl.

01:42:23Let's both be girls.

01:42:42What?

01:42:44Get ready!

01:42:46Here we go!

01:42:56Good! Good! Good!

01:42:59Combo!

01:43:05Perfect!

01:43:12Wow.

01:43:18Who do you think you are, Pilgrim?

01:43:21You think you're better than me?

01:43:25Well, I'll tell you what you are.

01:43:27A pain in my ass.

01:43:30You know how long it took to get all the Eagle-X's contact information

01:43:36so I could form this stupid league?

01:43:39Like two hours!

01:43:41Two hours!

01:43:45You're not cool enough for Ramona.

01:43:48You're zero.

01:43:50Nothing.

01:43:51Me?

01:43:52I'm what's hip!

01:43:53I'm what's happening!

01:43:54I'm blowing up right now!

01:43:57You are blowing up.

01:43:59Right now.

01:44:02K.O.!

01:44:09K.O.!

01:44:19Yeah.

01:44:22Wow.

01:44:30There goes our deal.

01:44:32We're still getting paid, right?

01:44:34There goes our deal.

01:44:37Oh, God.

01:44:49You two make a good combo.

01:44:51Yeah?

01:44:54Yeah.

01:44:55Scott...

01:44:57Pilgrim...

01:45:01You can defeat me, Scott.

01:45:04But can you defeat yourself?

01:45:13Uh-oh.

01:45:15Mega Scott.

01:45:17Mega Scott.

01:45:22No.

01:45:24This is something I have to face.

01:45:29Myself.

01:45:32Solo round.

01:45:36Yeah, make this incredible French toast

01:45:38with, like, bananas on it.

01:45:40You get bacon on the side.

01:45:41Oh, I'm liking that, yeah.

01:45:42Well, let's do it next week.

01:45:43Yeah, cool.

01:45:44Yeah, all right. Be good.

01:45:45Yeah.

01:45:46Hey.

01:45:49What happened?

01:45:50Oh, nothing. We just shot the shit.

01:45:52He's just a really nice guy.

01:45:53We're gonna get brunch next week.

01:45:55We, uh, we actually have a lot in common.

01:45:57Your hair...

01:45:59It's getting really shaggy.

01:46:01It is?

01:46:02Yeah.

01:46:04You should probably get it cut.

01:46:07Yeah, you're right.

01:46:09I should get it cut.

01:46:10And a salon.

01:46:12Salon, yeah. That sounds really nice.

01:46:14Hey.

01:46:16You're...

01:46:17You're going?

01:46:19I should probably disappear.

01:46:21After all that?

01:46:23I still need a new life.

01:46:26I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up.

01:46:30I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.

01:46:33I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.

01:46:35I don't mean just you.

01:46:40No, I understand.

01:46:44I should thank you, though.

01:46:46For what?

01:46:49For being the nicest guy I ever dated.

01:46:54That's kind of sad.

01:46:58It is kind of sad.

01:47:03Bye and stuff.

01:47:06Yeah.

01:47:08And stuff.

01:47:15Don't get hurt.

01:47:18What?

01:47:20You've been fighting for her all along.

01:47:24But what about you?

01:47:26I'll be fine.

01:47:32I'm too cool for you anyway.

01:47:39Ciao, Mavs.

01:47:41Go.

01:47:48Hey. Hey.

01:47:50Mind if I tag along?

01:47:54You want to come with me?

01:47:56Yeah.

01:47:58Maybe we could try again.

01:48:24Continue.

01:48:269, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

01:48:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

01:49:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

01:49:54I peeped at the yards where the bodies all day glow

01:50:00It's summertime

01:50:03And it's the time

01:50:06To strut and strum

01:50:08I'm gonna strut, strut, strut

01:50:11People get touchy, wanna touch my thighs

01:50:14Take a vacation in the friendly skies

01:50:17With my peacock heart, I wanna grunt and groan

01:50:21At a steady pace, all I've ever known

01:50:26It's summertime

01:50:29And it's the time

01:50:32To strut and strum

01:50:35I'm gonna strut, strut

01:50:38Going backwards in time

01:50:41With my questionable eyes

01:50:45And I'm drinking the grape

01:50:48And I sit on my face

01:50:51It's summertime

01:50:54And it's the time

01:50:57To strut and strum

01:51:00I'm gonna strut, strut

01:51:03Going backwards in time

01:51:06With my questionable eyes

01:51:09And I'm drinking the grape

01:51:12And I sit on my face

01:51:15It's summertime

01:51:18And it's the time

01:51:21To strut and strum

01:51:51Strut, strut, strut

01:51:54Strut, strut, strut

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