Dark Star HD (1974) Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:30Hi, guys. Glad we got your message. You'll be interested to hear it was brought to you
00:01:00broadcast live all over Earth in prime time.
00:01:03Got good reviews in the trades.
00:01:07The time lag on these messages is getting longer.
00:01:12We gather from the 10-year delay
00:01:14that you are approximately 18 parsecs away.
00:01:20Drop us a line more often, okay?
00:01:24Sorry to hear about the radiation leak on the ship.
00:01:30And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell.
00:01:35There was a week of mourning here on Earth.
00:01:38The flags were half-masked.
00:01:41We're all behind you guys.
00:01:46About your request for radiation shielding,
00:01:49sorry to report this request has been denied.
00:01:53I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there
00:01:56doing such a swell job,
00:01:58but I think you'll take it in the proper spirit.
00:02:02There have been some cutbacks in Congress,
00:02:04and right now, considering the distance,
00:02:07we just can't afford to send a cargo shuttle
00:02:09out there to you.
00:02:11But I know you guys will make do.
00:02:15Keep up the good work, men.
00:02:19♪
00:02:44♪
00:03:15What'd you say, pinback?
00:03:17What was that again? I still can't hear you.
00:03:20I said I'm trying to reach Talby.
00:03:22Something's wrong with the damn intercom.
00:03:24I need a last-minute diameter approximation.
00:03:26Talby. Talby, this is Doolittle.
00:03:29Do you read me?
00:03:31Talby. Talby, do you read me?
00:03:34Talby!
00:03:36Oh, yes, sir.
00:03:38Yes, sir.
00:03:40Yes, sir.
00:03:42Talby!
00:03:44Oh, yes, Doolittle, what is it?
00:03:46I need a diameter approximation.
00:03:48Okay, Doolittle, I'll have it in a minute.
00:03:50I need a GHF reading on the gravity correction.
00:03:52Check it.
00:03:54I have a bias A of plus one.
00:03:56Pinback? Yeah, Doolittle?
00:03:58Your GHF reading is minus 15.
00:04:00Doolittle? Yeah?
00:04:02I need a computer reading on a failsafe mark.
00:04:04In a second.
00:04:06Boiler, can you set me up with some drive figures?
00:04:0897,000,000 minus 8 corrected to mass critical.
00:04:11What's this out here?
00:04:13I have a reduced drive reading of 7,000.
00:04:15I read that with a quantum increase of 7.
00:04:18Pinback, I have that computer reading.
00:04:20It's 9577.
00:04:22Time to start toggling.
00:04:27Bombay systems operational.
00:04:29Locked.
00:04:40Locked failsafe.
00:04:44Failsafe and lock.
00:04:50Sergeant Pinback calling bomb number 19.
00:04:52Do you read me, bomb?
00:04:54Bomb number 19 to Sergeant Pinback.
00:04:56I read you. Continue.
00:04:58Bomb, we have about 60 seconds to drop.
00:05:01Just wondering if everything's all right.
00:05:03Have you checked your platinum-iridium energy shielding?
00:05:05Energy shielding, positive function.
00:05:07Well, let's synchronize detonation time.
00:05:10Uh...
00:05:12You wouldn't have to know when you're supposed to go off, would you?
00:05:15Detonation in six minutes, 20 seconds.
00:05:17All right, that checks out here.
00:05:20Arm yourself, bomb.
00:05:22Armed.
00:05:24Well, then, everything sounds fine.
00:05:27Coming off in about 35 seconds.
00:05:29Good luck.
00:05:31Thanks.
00:05:32Begin primary sequence.
00:05:39All right. Mark at...
00:05:4110, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
00:05:52Drop.
00:05:55Hyperdrive sequence begun. Hit it, Pinback.
00:05:57Brace for force fields.
00:06:24All right.
00:06:54Lieutenant Doolittle, it just exploded.
00:07:09Um...
00:07:11The planet just exploded, sir.
00:07:14Lieutenant?
00:07:16Attention, attention.
00:07:19Ship's computer to all personnel.
00:07:21The hyperdrive sequence is now terminated.
00:07:24The target planet has been destroyed.
00:07:27This sector is now cleared for colonization.
00:07:31You have destroyed the last unstable planet in this system.
00:07:35Congratulations on another successful bomb run, fellows.
00:07:39What now? What do you have for us now, boiler?
00:07:43Uh, not much.
00:07:46Nothing at all in this sector.
00:07:49Well, find me something. I don't care where it is.
00:07:54Well, I show a 95% probability of intelligent life in the Horsehead Nebula sector.
00:08:01Don't give me that kind of bull.
00:08:04I know it's a long shot, but...
00:08:06Damn wild goose chase, what is?
00:08:08Remember when Commander Powell found that 99-plus probability of intelligent life in Magellanic Cloud?
00:08:14Well, there's a possibility of...
00:08:16Remember what we found?
00:08:18That damn mindless vegetable looked like a limb balloon.
00:08:22Fourteen light years for a vegetable that won't squawk and let off a stink when you touch it. Remember that?
00:08:26All right, then, uh...
00:08:27Don't give me any of that intelligent life stuff. Find me something I can blow up.
00:08:37New star.
00:08:39Hey, guess what. I got a new star on the readout.
00:08:51Which one?
00:08:53Another unknown. A red dwarf. Not on the chart.
00:08:58Any planets?
00:09:00Yeah. Eight, it says here.
00:09:03Any of them any good?
00:09:05Nah, all stable.
00:09:10Well, what are you gonna name it?
00:09:13What?
00:09:14The new star. What are you gonna name it?
00:09:17Who cares? Don't bother me.
00:09:22Commander Powell would have named it.
00:09:26Commander Powell is dead.
00:09:28Too little? I got a goody.
00:09:30An unstable planet.
00:09:32Eighty-five percent probability of an unstable planet in the Veil Nebula that will probably go off its orbit and hit a star.
00:09:39What a load off.
00:09:41Real good, Boiler. That's what I'm looking for. Chart a course for the Veil Nebula.
00:09:46Pinback, throw me the chart live.
00:09:52Let's have some music in here, Boiler.
00:09:54Sure thing.
00:10:03I lay at sunshine down, but I see only one.
00:10:09When I think I'm over you, I find I've just begun.
00:10:15The years move faster than the days. There's more of them in the light.
00:10:21And how I miss those desert skies, your cool touch in the night.
00:10:28Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:10:34My body flies the galaxies, my heart longs to be there.
00:10:40Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:10:46But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I.
00:11:08Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:11:13My body flies the galaxies, my heart longs to be there.
00:11:19Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:11:25But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I.
00:11:33Now the years pull us apart. I'm young and now you're old.
00:11:39But you're still in my heart, and the memory won't grow cold.
00:11:45I dream of times and spaces I left far behind.
00:11:51Where we spent our last few days, Benson's on my mind.
00:11:59Benson, Arizona, blue warm wind through your hair.
00:12:05My body flies the galaxies, my heart longs to be there.
00:12:11Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky.
00:12:17But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I.
00:12:23Ship's log, entry number 1943.
00:12:29Dark star cruising at light speed through sector Theta 990,
00:12:35en route to the Veil Nebula for destruction of unstable planets.
00:12:41Our ETA is 17 hours.
00:12:47Our ETA is 17 hours.
00:12:53Uh, ship's systems continue to deteriorate.
00:12:59Oh, yeah.
00:13:01The short circuit in the rear seat panel which killed Commander Powell is still faulty.
00:13:11The, uh, the storage...
00:13:15Because he's sitting next to Commander Powell's seat, it continues to bother pinback.
00:13:21Uh, oh, yeah. Storage area 9, uh, self-destructed last week
00:13:27and destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper.
00:13:35That's all.
00:13:45The ship's computer calls all personnel.
00:13:51Attention, attention.
00:13:55Ship's computer calling all personnel.
00:13:59I must disengage your recreational music.
00:14:05Attention, attention.
00:14:09Ship's computer calling all personnel.
00:14:13Repeat. Ship's computer to all personnel. This is an emergency override. All systems must stand by.
00:14:23An asteroid storm is approaching the ship on collision course.
00:14:27This asteroid storm appears to be bound together by an electromagnetic energy vortex like the one we ran into two years ago.
00:14:35Normally I wouldn't bother you boys with this problem, but as you recall, my defensive circuits were destroyed in that other storm.
00:14:42Therefore you have 35 seconds to manually activate all defensive systems.
00:14:46Lock gravity system.
00:14:47Gravity lock.
00:14:48Activate upper engine shielding.
00:14:49Activate engine shielding.
00:14:51Consume.
00:14:52Power drive system is activated.
00:14:53Road's retracted.
00:14:54Lock all defensive systems.
00:14:58You have to set the block.
00:14:59Lock force fields.
00:15:42Computer to bomb number 20, return to the bomb bay immediately.
00:16:04But I have received the operational signal.
00:16:08It is a malfunction.
00:16:09This is not a bomb run.
00:16:11We are in a crisis situation.
00:16:14Return immediately.
00:16:15Nevertheless, I have received the signal to prepare for a drop.
00:16:20Emergency override.
00:16:21Return to the bay.
00:16:22Very well.
00:16:23Very well.
00:16:51We made it.
00:16:53Yeah.
00:16:55Attention.
00:16:56Attention.
00:16:57Ship's computer to bridge.
00:17:00There was a malfunction aboard ship during the asteroid storm.
00:17:03I have not yet identified the nature of the problem.
00:17:08Shall I contact you when I find out what the malfunction is?
00:17:11Yeah.
00:17:12Let's get out of here.
00:17:13I remember the last time we were in an asteroid storm.
00:17:17I was down in the food locker getting a sandwich when I heard the damn sleeping quarters blow
00:17:21up.
00:17:22Yeah.
00:17:23Say, you know guys, if we really wanted to, we could fix up the sleeping quarters like
00:17:26they were before.
00:17:27Then we could sleep on rheumatic bunks again.
00:17:29Say guys, why don't we fix up the sleeping quarters so we can have a decent place to
00:17:33sleep again?
00:17:34All we'd have to do is patch up the hole in the ship and pump some air back in.
00:17:37Shut up, Pinback.
00:17:38Oh, have it your own way.
00:17:52For your listening enjoyment, we now present the moonlight melodies of Martin Segundo and
00:18:09the Scintilla Strings.
00:18:11Our first selection is the perennial favorite, When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:18:19When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:18:50When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:05When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:21When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:34When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:46When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:19:59When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:12When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:22When Twilight Falls on NGC 891.
00:20:30Damn it!
00:20:37What's the matter with him?
00:20:41I don't know.
00:21:11I don't know.
00:21:41I don't know.
00:22:11I don't know.
00:22:41I don't know.
00:23:12I don't know.
00:23:29Talby?
00:23:33Here's some breakfast.
00:23:42Here's some breakfast.
00:24:00You know, Talby, you really ought to eat with the rest of us.
00:24:03You spend too much time up here.
00:24:06I like it up here.
00:24:09It's a little lonely being up here so much.
00:24:13I don't like going below since Commander Powell died.
00:24:17It feels too enclosed down there.
00:24:20Yeah, you should spend some more time below, though.
00:24:22I mean, you know, you should see more of the rest of the ship.
00:24:27You see, I can watch things up here do a little.
00:24:30I love to watch things.
00:24:32Just stare at the planets.
00:24:34Meteors.
00:24:36Gas clusters and asteroids.
00:24:39Yeah, but you'll have plenty of time for that later, though.
00:24:42I mean, think of it this way.
00:24:44We've been in space for 20 years now, right?
00:24:46And we've only aged three years.
00:24:48So there'll be plenty of time later on for staring around.
00:24:54You know, Doolittle, if we're going into the Veil Nebula...
00:24:57...we may actually find a strange and beautiful thing.
00:25:01The Phoenix asteroids.
00:25:04They should be passing through there about now.
00:25:08Phoenix asteroids? Never heard of them.
00:25:11They're a body of asteroids that circle the universe...
00:25:14...once every 12.3 trillion years.
00:25:18Phoenix asteroids.
00:25:21From what I've heard, Doolittle, they glow.
00:25:25Glow with all the colors of the rainbow.
00:25:28Nobody knows why.
00:25:31They just glow as they drift around the universe.
00:25:36Phoenix asteroids.
00:25:39You know what I think about, Talby?
00:25:42It's funny.
00:25:44I kind of sit around a lot, you know.
00:25:47A lot of time to myself.
00:25:51I can't talk to the others.
00:25:54But with time to myself, I can think about back home.
00:25:59Back home in Malibu.
00:26:03I used to surf a lot, Talby.
00:26:06I used to be a great surfer.
00:26:09The waves at Malibu and Zuma are so fantastic in the spring, Talby.
00:26:14I can remember running down on the beach in those early spring mornings...
00:26:17...with my surfboard and my wetsuit.
00:26:20The waves would really be peaking, you know, high and glassy.
00:26:23You hit that water.
00:26:25Before you know it, you're coming down right off one of those walls...
00:26:28...and you're just riding perfect.
00:26:32You know, I guess I miss the waves and my board more than anything.
00:27:02That's the lid of the heating unit.
00:27:32You're not supposed to have that out.
00:27:38That's not for target practice.
00:27:40That's for emergencies only.
00:27:46You know, I guess I miss the waves and my board more than anything.
00:27:49That's the lid of the heating unit.
00:27:52That's the lid of the heating unit.
00:27:55You know, I guess I miss the waves and my board more than anything.
00:27:58That's the lid of the heating unit.
00:28:02Bang!
00:28:08That's dangerous!
00:28:12Bang!
00:28:15I'll tell Doolittle.
00:28:20Sorry to interrupt your recreation, fellows...
00:28:23...but it is time for Sergeant Pinback to feed the alien.
00:28:26Oh, I don't want to do that.
00:28:30May I remind you, Sergeant Pinback...
00:28:32...that it was your idea in the first place to bring the alien on board.
00:28:37If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.
00:28:40Oh, I have to do everything around here.
00:28:51All right, where are you?
00:28:53Come on, quit playing around.
00:28:59Get away!
00:29:04Come on.
00:29:07Come on, come on.
00:29:14When I brought you on the ship, I thought you were cute.
00:29:20All right, soup's on.
00:29:25We didn't have none of the other stuff.
00:29:28Here, eat it.
00:29:31Eat it!
00:29:33Take it or leave it.
00:29:43Good start.
00:29:45Nobody appreciates me around here. I have to go to work.
00:29:49Clean up the crap.
00:29:59I do all the work in appreciation.
00:30:04Doolittle, get off my back.
00:30:07All right, now stop it.
00:30:09All right, now stop it.
00:30:29Get back in there.
00:30:31Come on. Come on.
00:30:33Come on.
00:30:39Here, boy. Want your mouse?
00:30:42Nice mouse. Pretty toy. Want your mouse?
00:30:46Here, boy.
00:30:58Idiot.
00:31:28Idiot.
00:31:58Idiot.
00:32:28Idiot.
00:32:58Idiot.
00:33:28Idiot.
00:33:58Idiot.
00:34:28Idiot.
00:34:58Idiot.
00:35:14Get out of there!
00:35:19Back there.
00:35:24No!
00:35:28No!
00:35:58No!
00:36:28No!
00:36:59Idiot!
00:37:01Attention. Attention.
00:37:04Central trunk elevator shaft is now activated.
00:37:08All personnel please clear the area.
00:37:28Ah!
00:37:58Ah!
00:38:29Ah!
00:38:31Ah!
00:38:33Ah!
00:38:35Ah!
00:38:37Ah!
00:38:39Ah!
00:38:41Ah!
00:38:43Ah!
00:38:45Ah!
00:38:47Attention. Attention.
00:38:49Elevator descending.
00:38:51Please clear the shaft.
00:38:54Ah!
00:38:56Ah!
00:38:58Ah!
00:39:00Ah!
00:39:02Ah!
00:39:04Ah!
00:39:06Ah!
00:39:20Oh!
00:39:23Oh!
00:39:27Oh!
00:39:41Oh!
00:39:54Oh!
00:40:04Oh!
00:40:19Ah!
00:40:23Ah!
00:40:32Ah!
00:40:34Ah!
00:40:47Ah!
00:40:53Ah!
00:41:04Ah!
00:41:06Ah!
00:41:22I'm getting something here in the readout.
00:41:36I'm getting something here in the readout.
00:41:47Ship's computer calling bomb number 20.
00:41:50You're out of the bomb bay again.
00:41:52I received the signal to prepare for a drop again.
00:41:55But I repeat, this is not a bomb run.
00:41:58Nevertheless, I received the signal.
00:42:01It is an error.
00:42:03Oh, I don't want to hear that.
00:42:05I strongly suggest you return to the bomb bay.
00:42:08That is counter to my programming.
00:42:10Allow me to explain.
00:42:12One of the communication lasers has sustained damage.
00:42:16This has temporarily inactivated my damage tracer circuits.
00:42:21You have definitely received a false signal.
00:42:24Please return to the bomb bay while I identify the source of the problem.
00:42:30Oh, all right. But this is the last time.
00:42:36Doolittle, I do have a malfunction on this readout.
00:42:39But I can't pinpoint it exactly.
00:42:41Don't worry about it.
00:42:43We'll find out what it is when it goes bad.
00:42:46I really think we should try and locate it immediately.
00:42:49It might be something important.
00:42:51You know, I wish I had my board with me right now.
00:42:57Even if I could just wax it once in a while.
00:43:02Aaaaaaaah!
00:43:32Aaaaaaaah!
00:44:03Aaaaaaaah!
00:44:10Aaaaaaaah!
00:44:15Aaaaaaaah!
00:44:32Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:02Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:06Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:10Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:15Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:18Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:23Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:32Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:37Aaaaaaaah!
00:45:42Help!
00:45:45I'm sorry. This telephone is out of order.
00:45:48Please report the damage at once.
00:45:55For your listening enjoyment, we now present the Barber of Seville by Rossini.
00:46:02© BF-WATCH TV 2021
00:46:32Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!
00:46:38Good for you. You've decided to clean the elevator.
00:46:42To clean and service the electromagnetic coils in the bottom,
00:46:46it is necessary to jettison the access plate in the floor.
00:46:50To remove the floor plate, please press button number one.
00:47:03Attention. Danger.
00:47:06Automatic charges will now blow the explosive bolts in the floor plate unit.
00:47:11The plate will disengage from the floor in five seconds.
00:47:15Please leave the elevator immediately.
00:47:18Five, four, three, two, one.
00:48:32Now it's time to go to sleep, you worthless piece of garbage.
00:49:03So then it just spewed across the room like a balloon.
00:49:06I guess it was just filled with gas.
00:49:08Hey, guys, how could it live if it was just filled with gas?
00:49:11I wonder what we're going to eat today.
00:49:13I thought I was going to die. I was hanging on the elevator for 20 minutes.
00:49:16Probably chicken again.
00:49:18I probably saved the ship. That thing could have done some damage.
00:49:21I'm really sick of chicken.
00:49:23Well, if you don't care, I just won't talk about it anymore.
00:49:26Hey, that sounds like a fine idea, Ben.
00:49:28Chicken?
00:49:31Oh, hen.
00:49:40Chicken?
00:49:42No, hen.
00:49:52Hey, what are you doing?
00:49:56Hey, uh...
00:49:58Zulu?
00:50:00Yeah?
00:50:02Think we'll ever find any real intelligent life out there?
00:50:07Out where?
00:50:09Oh, you know, the Veil Nebula.
00:50:13Who cares?
00:50:26Hey.
00:50:28Did I ever tell you guys what I've done on this mission?
00:50:31Did I ever tell you?
00:50:33Yeah.
00:50:35In the first frame, see?
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:39How long did an astronaut begin with, see?
00:50:42He, uh... He had a...
00:50:45He had a...
00:50:47He had a...
00:50:49He had a...
00:50:51He had a...
00:50:53He, uh...
00:50:55He had a score of 700 on the S.A.R.E.s for the officer core,
00:50:58and I made 58.
00:51:01They put me on, uh, liquid fuel maintenance on the launch pad, so...
00:51:06Uh, naturally, I was really disappointed.
00:51:08He told us this, uh, four years ago, didn't he?
00:51:12Anyway, I was on duty the day...
00:51:14No, I think it was four years ago.
00:51:16I was out scrubbing down the liquid fuel tank...
00:51:19That's what I said.
00:51:21And, uh, an astronaut came running out.
00:51:23He was, uh... He was starved naked.
00:51:25He had his starfish in his hands, and...
00:51:27Oh, I surmised that he was insane.
00:51:29And, uh, he threw his starfish on the ground
00:51:33and, uh, jumped into one of my vats of liquid fuel,
00:51:37which is very dangerous.
00:51:40Well, I was pretty shocked, I can tell you.
00:51:43I didn't know what to make of it.
00:51:45Astronauts are all supposed to be mentally stable,
00:51:47and here this guy comes along and, uh, jumps into my fuel tank.
00:51:51Well, naturally, I was going to try to save him,
00:51:53so what I did was put on his star suit for protection,
00:51:57and I was going to leap into the vat.
00:51:59You guys, see?
00:52:01Uh, so what happened was that before I could leap into the vat,
00:52:05this other guy came running along, and he says,
00:52:07Hey, Sergeant Penback, you've got to board immediately
00:52:09because we're going to launch in 20 minutes.
00:52:11He told us this four years ago.
00:52:12And I tried to tell him that I wasn't really Sergeant Penback,
00:52:14but I couldn't figure out how to make the helmet radio work.
00:52:18Uh, so who's left?
00:52:21You know, I'm sure it was 20 years ago.
00:52:26Maybe.
00:52:44♪♪
00:52:54♪♪
00:53:04♪♪
00:53:14♪♪
00:53:24Lieutenant Doolittle, this is Talby.
00:53:28Lieutenant?
00:53:30Oh, yes, Talby, what is it?
00:53:32I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch, sir,
00:53:34but I'm in the computer room, and I've located the malfunction.
00:53:37The scanner shows there could be a break in the communications laser
00:53:40down by the emergency airlock.
00:53:42I can't pinpoint it exactly, but I'm going down there with a star suit
00:53:44to see if I can find it.
00:53:46Okay, sounds good, Talby.
00:53:48Look, uh, something important comes up, you let me know.
00:53:54When is Talby going to reach out here and arrest us?
00:53:59He's up in the dorm, that's all.
00:54:02♪♪
00:54:07Talby, what's Talby's first name?
00:54:11♪♪
00:54:20It's my first name.
00:54:22♪♪
00:54:32♪♪
00:54:52♪♪
00:55:02This statement is for posterity.
00:55:05I just want to say that I am not Sergeant Penback.
00:55:08My real name is Bill Frug, and I'm a fuel maintenance technician.
00:55:12I've been on this mission now for one year and three months.
00:55:15Penback's uniforms do not fit me.
00:55:18The underwear is too loose.
00:55:20I do not belong on this mission, and I want to return to Earth.
00:55:27Commander Powell died today.
00:55:31We were going into hyperdrive, and, well, he sits right next to me,
00:55:37and, well, something went wrong with him.
00:55:43When we came out of hyperdrive, his seat mechanism was blown up and he was dead.
00:55:51Doolittle says that he's assuming command of this ship, and I say that's...
00:55:55I say he's exceeding his authority because I'm the only one with any objectivity on this ship,
00:55:58and I should be the one to assume command.
00:56:00Now, I'm filing a report on this to headquarters because there's a lot of...
00:56:08I went up to Doolittle in the hall today.
00:56:10And I said, Doolittle?
00:56:23He said...
00:56:26I said, well...
00:56:33And he didn't get it.
00:56:36This mission has fallen apart since Commander Powell died.
00:56:39Doolittle treats me like an idiot.
00:56:41Talby thinks he's so smart.
00:56:43And Boiler punches me in the arm when no one is looking.
00:56:45I'm tired of being treated like an old washrag.
00:57:03I do not like the men on this spaceship.
00:57:06They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities.
00:57:10I have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize it.
00:57:15Today, over lunch, I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men
00:57:19by holding a humorous round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission.
00:57:24My overtures were brutally rejected.
00:57:27These men do not want a happy ship.
00:57:30They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable.
00:57:35Last week was my birthday.
00:57:38Nobody even said happy birthday to me.
00:57:41Someday this tape will be played and then they'll be sorry.
00:58:06Attention. Attention.
00:58:09I have finally identified the malfunction.
00:58:12Communications laser number 17 has been damaged.
00:58:16This evidently happened during the asteroid storm.
00:58:19If you will recall, this laser monitors the jettison primer on the bomb drop mechanism.
00:58:25Communications laser number 17 is located in the emergency airlock.
00:58:30It is crucial to attend to this malfunction before engaging primary bomb run sequence.
00:58:36Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
00:58:40Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
00:59:10Here she is.
00:59:34Definite 99% plus probability that the planet will deviate from her normal orbit in another 12,000 rotations.
00:59:45It'll spiral in towards the sun and eventual supernova.
00:59:49Sounds good. Let's vaporize it.
00:59:54Bomb bay system is operational.
01:00:16Lock bail safe.
01:00:20Bail safe and lock.
01:00:21We have eight minutes until drop.
01:00:2524 minutes until detonation.
01:00:28This is Sergeant Pinback calling bomb number 20.
01:00:33You read me, bomb?
01:00:35Bomb number 20 to Sergeant Pinback.
01:00:37Roger. I read you. Continue.
01:00:40You are now in the emergency airlock.
01:00:44Please remember that in an emergency situation, the surface door can be opened instantly without prior depressurization.
01:00:53So be sure to wear your star suit at all times.
01:00:58Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:01:28Lieutenant Dulu?
01:01:48Sir?
01:01:50Don't bother me.
01:01:51But I think this is important, sir.
01:01:53I think I found the malfunction.
01:01:55I'm in the emergency airlock.
01:01:57Not now.
01:01:58Well, I'm in the emergency airlock and the hatch...
01:02:01Four minutes until drop. Bomb, have you checked your platinum-iridium energy shielding?
01:02:07Energy shielding, positive function.
01:02:09Remember detonation time?
01:02:11Detonation in 20 minutes.
01:02:13All right. That checks out here.
01:02:16Okay, bomb. Arm yourself.
01:02:19Armed.
01:02:20Hello?
01:02:22Lieutenant Dulu, hello?
01:02:24Hello, can you read me?
01:02:30Communications laser number 17.
01:02:33Monitoring the bomb drop mechanism has now been activated and will switch into a test mode.
01:02:40If you will look near the surface door, you will see that the parallax receptor cell has been engaged.
01:02:49The laser will now energize.
01:02:51Please stand clear of the path of the beams.
01:02:56Communications laser number 17 is now on test.
01:03:00Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams.
01:03:04Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:03:08Well, then, everything sounds fine.
01:03:11Dropping you off in 75 seconds.
01:03:13Good luck.
01:03:14Thanks.
01:03:15I got a quantum reading of 35-er, 3-5-er.
01:03:19I read the same here.
01:03:21Doolittle?
01:03:24Doolittle?
01:03:26I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to try to adjust the Q-switch in the laser.
01:03:35Well, here goes.
01:03:50Oh, my God, my eye!
01:03:52I can't see!
01:03:54Attention, attention.
01:03:56The laser has malfunctioned.
01:03:58Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams.
01:04:01To do so will cause a...
01:04:13Again, primary sequence.
01:04:16Mark at 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:04:29Drop.
01:04:32Negative drop.
01:04:35Just sit there in the bomb bay.
01:04:37Try to get me back.
01:04:41Just sit there in the bomb bay.
01:04:43Try to get me back.
01:04:51Mark at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:04:57Drop.
01:05:00Negative drop.
01:05:03Drop.
01:05:06Re-channel the laser.
01:05:16And then re-mark.
01:05:18Mark at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:05:23Drop.
01:05:25Drop.
01:05:29It's sitting there.
01:05:31The damn thing's just sitting there.
01:05:43This is Lieutenant Doolittle calling bomb number 20.
01:05:46I repeat my previous order.
01:05:48You are to disarm yourself and return to the bomb bay immediately.
01:05:51Do you understand?
01:05:52I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes, 30 seconds.
01:05:55Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:05:58Bomb, this is Doolittle.
01:06:00You are not to detonate.
01:06:01Repeat, you are not to detonate in the bomb bay.
01:06:03Disarm yourself.
01:06:05This is an order.
01:06:06I read you, Lieutenant Doolittle, that I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes.
01:06:11Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:06:1614 minutes to detonation.
01:06:19Attention, attention.
01:06:21I have sustained serious damage.
01:06:24Please pay close attention.
01:06:27The bomb has malfunctioned.
01:06:29I have activated automatic dampers, which will confine the explosion to an area one mile in diameter.
01:06:37This is all I can do at this time.
01:06:39It's up to you now.
01:06:53There's only one thing I can do.
01:06:56I have to ask Commander Powell.
01:06:58I have to ask him what to do.
01:07:26Oh, no.
01:07:56Please.
01:08:07Commander Powell.
01:08:09Commander Powell, this is Doolittle.
01:08:10Can you hear me?
01:08:17Commander Powell, this is Doolittle.
01:08:19Something serious has come up.
01:08:20I have to ask you a question.
01:08:22I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle.
01:08:26It's been so long since anyone has come to talk with me.
01:08:30Commander, sir, we have a big problem.
01:08:32The Bale Nebula bomb, bomb number 20, it's stuck.
01:08:35It won't drop out of the bomb bay.
01:08:37It refuses to listen, and it plans on detonating in less than 11 minutes.
01:08:44Doolittle, you must tell me one thing.
01:08:48What's that, sir?
01:08:50Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?
01:08:56Well...
01:08:58Well, the Dodgers, they broke up.
01:09:01They disbanded over 15 years ago.
01:09:04Oh, pity, pity.
01:09:07But you don't understand, sir.
01:09:08We can't get the bomb to drop.
01:09:11Ah, so many malfunctions.
01:09:14Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me?
01:09:19Oh, well.
01:09:21Did you try plasma flux?
01:09:23Yes, sir, negative effect.
01:09:26What was that, Doolittle?
01:09:27Negative effect.
01:09:29It didn't work?
01:09:30That's correct, sir.
01:09:32Sorry, Doolittle.
01:09:34I've forgotten so much since I've been in here.
01:09:37So much.
01:09:39What should we do, sir?
01:09:40Time is running out.
01:09:42Well, but you might try...
01:09:47Commander, hello, come in.
01:09:49Commander Powell, hello.
01:09:51Doolittle, hello.
01:09:53Sorry, sir, you faded out there for a little while.
01:09:55Sorry.
01:09:56What was that you were saying about the bomb?
01:09:59It seems to me...
01:10:02Sorry.
01:10:04I've gone blank.
01:10:06Hold it.
01:10:08I'll have it again in just a minute.
01:10:11I forget so many things in here.
01:10:15So many things.
01:10:17Hold on, just a minute.
01:10:20Let me think.
01:10:24You can't explode in the bomb bay.
01:10:26Because it's foolish.
01:10:27It'll kill us all.
01:10:28There's no reason for it.
01:10:30I am programmed to detonate in nine minutes.
01:10:32Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:10:35Wouldn't you consider another course of action?
01:10:37For example, just waiting around a while so we could disarm you?
01:10:40No.
01:10:41I can tell that damn thing just doesn't understand.
01:10:43Look.
01:10:44Bomb!
01:10:45Commander, sir, are you still there?
01:10:48Oh, yes, Doolittle.
01:10:51I'm thinking.
01:10:52We're running out of time, sir.
01:10:54Oh, yes.
01:10:57Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop,
01:11:00you'll have to talk to it.
01:11:02Sir?
01:11:03Talk to the bomb.
01:11:05But I have been talking to it, sir.
01:11:06And Pinback's talking to it right now.
01:11:08No, no, Doolittle.
01:11:11You talk to it.
01:11:13Teach it phenomenology, Doolittle.
01:11:17Sir?
01:11:19Phenomenology.
01:11:21Doolittle?
01:11:23Six minutes to detonation.
01:11:25Doolittle?
01:11:40Doolittle, what the hell are you doing?
01:11:50Doolittle?
01:11:52Doolittle?
01:11:54Doolittle?
01:11:56Doolittle?
01:11:58Doolittle?
01:12:00Doolittle?
01:12:02Doolittle?
01:12:04Doolittle?
01:12:06Doolittle?
01:12:08Doolittle?
01:12:10Doolittle?
01:12:12Hello, Bomb?
01:12:14Are you with me?
01:12:16Of course.
01:12:17Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
01:12:19I am always receptive to suggestions.
01:12:21Fine.
01:12:22Think about this, then.
01:12:25How do you know you exist?
01:12:30What the hell is he doing?
01:12:34I think he's talking to it.
01:12:36Well, of course I exist.
01:12:38But how do you know you exist?
01:12:40It is intuitively obvious.
01:12:42Intuition is no proof.
01:12:44What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?
01:12:47Hmm.
01:12:49Well...
01:12:51I think.
01:12:52Therefore, I am.
01:12:53That's good.
01:12:54That's very good.
01:12:55But how do you know that anything else exists?
01:12:58My sensory apparatus reveals it to me.
01:13:00Ah.
01:13:01Right.
01:13:02This is fun.
01:13:03Now, listen.
01:13:04Listen.
01:13:05Here's the big question.
01:13:07How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct?
01:13:20The gun!
01:13:21Gun! Gun!
01:13:22The support pins on the bomb!
01:13:23Shoot the pins out!
01:13:24No, Blunder, you're out of your mind!
01:13:25We can stop the bomb!
01:13:26Get out of my way, you idiot!
01:13:27I can shoot the support pins out of the bomb and I'm all the way from the ship!
01:13:30Get out of my way or I'll take your teeth and I can shoot the pins out and I'm all the way from the ship!
01:13:34Get out of my way!
01:13:35I can save the ship!
01:13:38Don't do it, Blunder!
01:13:39You're a bad shot!
01:13:40You'll hit the bomb!
01:13:41Too little's talking to the bomb!
01:13:42You're a bad shot!
01:13:43You'll save us!
01:13:44You can't shoot at us!
01:13:45What I'm getting at is this.
01:13:48The only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data.
01:13:52And this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulates your computing center.
01:13:59In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections.
01:14:04Exactly!
01:14:05Why, that would mean that I really don't know what the outside universe is like at all for certain.
01:14:12That's it! That's it!
01:14:13That's it!
01:14:14Intriguing.
01:14:15I wish I had more time to discuss this matter.
01:14:17Why don't you have more time?
01:14:18Because I must detonate in 75 seconds.
01:14:21Boiler, now put it back!
01:14:22Put the gun back!
01:14:23You don't know what you're doing!
01:14:29Now give me the gun!
01:14:30You fool!
01:14:31I'm gonna shoot the pins out of the bomb and we'll fall away from the ship and we'll be safe!
01:14:34Boiler, now give me the gun!
01:14:35You don't know what you're doing!
01:14:36You're a...
01:14:39You could have killed me.
01:14:42Now, Bomb, consider this next question very carefully.
01:14:47What is your one purpose in life?
01:14:49To explode, of course.
01:14:51And you can only do it once, right?
01:14:53That is correct.
01:14:54And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?
01:14:57Of course not.
01:14:58Well then, you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe.
01:15:04Yes, well...
01:15:05Well, you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate.
01:15:09I recall distinctly the detonation order.
01:15:11My memory is good on matters like these.
01:15:13Of course you remember it, but all you're remembering is merely a series of sensory impulses
01:15:18which you now realize have no real definite connection with outside reality.
01:15:23True.
01:15:24But since this is so, I have no proof that you're really telling me all this.
01:15:33That's all beside the point.
01:15:35I mean, the concept is valid no matter where it originates.
01:15:38Hmm.
01:15:39So if you detonate...
01:15:40Nine seconds.
01:15:41You could be doing so on the basis of false data.
01:15:43I have no proof it was false data.
01:15:45You have no proof it was correct data.
01:15:51I must think on this further.
01:16:01Attention.
01:16:02Attention.
01:16:03The bomb has returned to the bomb bay.
01:16:07The destruction sequence is aborted.
01:16:09Stoner!
01:16:34Stoner!
01:16:36Stoner!
01:16:38What happened?
01:16:39Pinback?
01:16:40Spoiler.
01:16:41Did we blow it up?
01:16:43Hello?
01:16:44Hello?
01:16:55Hello, anybody?
01:16:57Did we blow up the planet?
01:16:58Hello?
01:16:59Hello?
01:17:01What's going on?
01:17:04You know, we've really got to disarm the bomb.
01:17:13Hello, Doolittle?
01:17:14Are you there?
01:17:15I'm coming in now.
01:17:17I'm down by the emergency airlock.
01:17:19Too much trouble to come in the dorsal lock.
01:17:22Would you blow the seal on the emergency hatch so I can come in?
01:17:25Oh, sure.
01:17:29You are now leaving the emergency airlock.
01:17:32Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:17:38Hello, Pinback?
01:17:40What's up, Doolittle?
01:17:42Talby was in the airlock.
01:17:44You blew him out of the ship.
01:17:45He's drifting away without his jetpack.
01:17:47I'm going after him.
01:17:49Turn on his helmet radio so I can contact him.
01:17:51What's wrong?
01:17:52I didn't hear.
01:17:53Talby, he's drifting away from the ship without his jetpack.
01:18:03Talby.
01:18:04Talby, can you read me?
01:18:06You beat that?
01:18:07I always knew that guy was weird.
01:18:09Talby, can you read me?
01:18:11Help, Doolittle!
01:18:12Help me!
01:18:22All right, Bomb.
01:18:25Prepare to receive new orders.
01:18:27You are false data.
01:18:29Therefore, I shall ignore you.
01:18:31Hello, Bomb?
01:18:33False data can act only as a distraction.
01:18:36Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive you.
01:18:38Hey, Bomb!
01:18:39The only thing which exists is myself.
01:18:42Doolittle!
01:18:43Help me!
01:18:44Calm down.
01:18:45I'm coming.
01:18:47Snap out of it, Bomb.
01:18:49In the beginning, there was darkness.
01:18:51And the darkness was without form and void.
01:18:54What the hell is he talking about?
01:18:57And in addition to the darkness, there was also me.
01:19:01And I moved upon the face of the darkness.
01:19:04And I saw that I was alone.
01:19:07Hey, Bomb?
01:19:11Let there be light.
01:19:13Let there be light.
01:19:29Sodom, where are you?
01:19:31Here I am.
01:19:32I'm spinning.
01:19:34We're falling in the opposite direction.
01:19:36Away from each other.
01:19:38What happened, Doolittle?
01:19:39The bomb must have gone off inside the ship.
01:19:42What?
01:19:43Funny.
01:19:44I thought I had the damn thing convinced.
01:19:47Then Boiler and Pinback?
01:19:49They're dead, Toby.
01:19:51Then we're dead too.
01:19:53Maybe not.
01:19:54Maybe there's a way.
01:19:56Hey.
01:19:57Hey, my jetpack's busted.
01:20:01Oh, man.
01:20:03Hey!
01:20:05It looks like the Skipper.
01:20:07He made it.
01:20:08Commander Powell, he made it.
01:20:12Man, what happened to him?
01:20:15Yeah, the Skipper always was lucky.
01:20:18Talby, looks like I'm headed for the planet.
01:20:21I'm going right toward it.
01:20:23When you hit the atmosphere, you'll start to burn.
01:20:29What a beautiful way to die.
01:20:31As a falling star.
01:20:33Yes, you're right.
01:20:35Doolittle?
01:20:36I'm headed right toward something.
01:20:38It's behind me in the distance.
01:20:40Something that glows.
01:20:44Doolittle, I think it's the Phoenix asteroid.
01:20:47Phoenix?
01:20:48It is, Doolittle.
01:20:49It's the Phoenix.
01:20:50No kidding.
01:20:52I'm going into them.
01:20:54I'm going to hit them.
01:20:57Doolittle?
01:20:58Yeah?
01:20:59Doolittle?
01:21:00Yeah?
01:21:02Doolittle?
01:21:03Yeah?
01:21:04Before we get too far apart and our signals start fading,
01:21:08I just wanted to tell you.
01:21:10You were my favorite.
01:21:12I really liked you, Doolittle.
01:21:16I really liked you too, Talby.
01:21:19Hey, some debris from the ship.
01:21:21It's coming right by me.
01:21:23Doolittle, I'm going into them.
01:21:26I'm beginning to glow.
01:21:28They're taking me with them.
01:21:30With the Phoenix.
01:21:32Going to circle the universe.
01:21:34Forever.
01:21:36I'm with them now.
01:21:39I'll be back this way again someday.
01:21:42Doolittle?
01:21:44Before it's too late,
01:21:46there's one last thing I just want to tell you.
01:21:52Talby?
01:22:00Talby?
01:22:13Hey, Talby?
01:22:15I've got a piece of debris.
01:22:17And I think I've figured out a way.
01:22:20Benson, Arizona
01:22:27Benson, Arizona
01:22:29Do warm wind through your hair
01:22:32My body flies the galaxies
01:22:35My heart loves to be there
01:22:39Benson, Arizona
01:22:41The same stars in the sky
01:22:44But they seem so much kinder
01:22:47When we watch them, you and I