The Mashed Bros. are taking their taste buds for a ride at the Indiana State Fair, sampling peanut butter and jelly chicken wings, pickle beer, bison tacos, Korean corn dogs, and twenty more crazy savory servings. Which dishes rank high, and which are just plain rank?
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hey, what's up, everybody?
00:01We're at the Indiana State Fair.
00:02We're the Mash Brothers.
00:03And we're going to be ranking 24 different items off of the Taste
00:07of the Fair menu today.
00:08It's like somebody working in a restaurant just
00:09sweeped up some stuff and stuck it in the oven.
00:11Do we meet in the middle like the lady in the tram?
00:14Porks, meats on a stick, cheeses.
00:18Yeah, if it's deep fried, we're eating it.
00:19Are you ready for this?
00:20Absolutely not.
00:21All right, this is from Nitro Hog.
00:23This is the sugar biscuit pulled pork apple butter barbecue sauce sandwich.
00:28Sounds right.
00:29I'm going to take your word for it.
00:30First one of the day.
00:31This sugar-covered biscuit is incredible.
00:33I know.
00:33I'm really hungry.
00:34Me too, but holy crap.
00:36I know, that's amazing.
00:37How limp was the biscuit?
00:38Not limp at all.
00:39It's like the best donut I've ever had with pulled pork in the middle.
00:42It's thicker than your average barbecue sauce,
00:44so it stays on there a little bit better, you know?
00:46I think the rest of the day is just shot.
00:48Yeah, should we go home?
00:49Everybody's getting ones.
00:50Nitro Hog knows what they're doing.
00:52Wow.
00:53I mean, I know we're starting out just item number one,
00:55but I'm thinking this has to get a 10.
00:57I don't know how anybody's going to top this.
00:59A chef could have made that.
01:01Stop number two.
01:02Cattleman's Club Hoosier Cowboy.
01:04Sourdough pepper jack rib-eyes, boom.
01:07Are you disappointed it's not wearing a little cowboy hat?
01:09Yeah, kind of.
01:11It's very simple, but I'm not mad at all.
01:13No, no.
01:14That's a good cut of meat right there.
01:15Yeah.
01:16Rib-eye, quality.
01:17It's not White Castle meat, I can tell you that.
01:19I love pepper jack.
01:20I love pepper jack.
01:23I love bread.
01:24Let's cook it again.
01:25Toast.
01:26Cook it again?
01:27Toast, man.
01:28I'd say about an 8.
01:28What do you think?
01:29I'll give it an 8.
01:30That sounds right.
01:30All right, let's go to the next one, number three.
01:32All right, this is the Godfather Egg Roll.
01:34So we got Italian food wrapped in Chinese.
01:38I thought it was just going to be like horsehead meat.
01:39Dude, the outside is covered in this like Parmesan garlic butter.
01:43I was worried.
01:44I thought it'd be a weird culinary mix of like Chinese and Italian,
01:47but this works on every level.
01:49It's like a breadstick stuffed with spaghetti.
01:51I'm pretty like low carb at home,
01:53but I love spaghetti and meat sauce.
01:56Look at the inside of that thing, man.
01:58Packed with meat sauce, packed with noodles.
02:01Are you getting my brachydactyly type D in there?
02:04I would eat this whether my daughter was getting married today or not.
02:08I'm going to make you an egg roll you can't refuse.
02:09I'm still glad there's no horse meat in this.
02:12Is that good?
02:13That sucked.
02:13No, that was terrible.
02:15What are you giving that then, ma'am?
02:16Ma'am, I don't know, three bangers in a row.
02:18We need something that sucks.
02:208.5.
02:218.5?
02:228.5.
02:23Easily, that was delicious.
02:24Delicious.
02:25All right, this is the everything fry.
02:27Yeah, number four, moving right along here.
02:29Pulled pork, cheese, ranch.
02:31Bacon bits, artery plaque, accelerated heartbeat is on there.
02:35Oh man, that's really good.
02:37God, I love pulled pork too.
02:38Putting pulled pork on anything makes it the best thing I've ever had.
02:41I feel like dad.
02:42Dad puts barbecue sauce in his cereal.
02:44He loves it so much.
02:45What are you giving these guys as far as a rating goes?
02:48Maybe like a 7.5.
02:49I'd give it an 8.
02:50Okay.
02:50I'll give it a 7.5.
02:52And also, you got to give these guys marks for personality.
02:55That's the best 10 out of 10 as far as personality goes.
02:59High marks!
03:01Number five.
03:02Barbecued tachos.
03:04Wow.
03:05Pulled pork, salsa, pickled jalapenos, cheese, sour cream.
03:10I'm not a huge fan of tater tots.
03:11All this stuff on top though changes the ballgame.
03:13Cilantro.
03:14He's still going.
03:16Yeah.
03:17This thing is a gut bomb though.
03:18Wow.
03:19How many points would this be on Weight Watchers?
03:21Your app just deletes itself.
03:23We've eaten so much pulled pork, dude.
03:25Our apologies to Babe, Gordy, Miss Piggy.
03:29Elmer?
03:30No.
03:30He was a human.
03:31No, Orson.
03:32Wells?
03:34Pig is his last name.
03:36Turns into a sloppy mess.
03:37Yeah, it kind of looks like a hairball there at the bottom.
03:43But I'll eat this hairball.
03:44This tastes great.
03:45All right.
03:45That's that one.
03:46I gave it a 6.
03:48Yeah.
03:48All right.
03:48I'll go with 6.
03:50All right.
03:50What do we got here, man?
03:51It's Sun King State Fair Pickle Beer.
03:54All right.
03:55Just me on this one.
03:56Yeah, because I have zero self-control.
04:03Do you like pickle juice?
04:06I feel like that guy from 127 Hours that has to drink his own pee to survive or whatever.
04:10Really?
04:12Throw that thing past your taste buds.
04:14I guess if it's that bad.
04:16I quit drinking so that I could push people into becoming alcoholics.
04:21What are we ranking it?
04:24I hate to be disrespectful, but 3, I think.
04:26Where do those 3 points even come from?
04:29I mean, it's beer.
04:31Can we please go get something else?
04:34All right.
04:34All right, dude.
04:35All right.
04:35We got the...
04:36This is the Hot Honey Pepperoni Pole Grilled Cheese.
04:40Sauce.
04:41I love sauce.
04:42Hopefully this pole's my pepperoni.
04:43You know what I'm saying?
04:48All right.
04:49Ew.
04:50Weird.
04:51It's like pineapple.
04:53Does it taste like pineapple?
04:54Yeah.
04:55It's the hot honey or something.
04:58It didn't say anything about pineapple, did it?
05:00It tastes like pineapple, whether it's on there or not.
05:03It does.
05:04How do you ruin pepperoni and cheese and bread?
05:07Add pineapple.
05:09I'm gonna give it like a 2.
05:10Yeah, I was gonna give it the same grade as the beer I just had.
05:133 duds in a row.
05:14Come on.
05:15We need something that sucks.
05:16Let's get back on the upswing.
05:18All right.
05:18These are the Peanut Butter and Jelly Wings.
05:20Okay, these look insane.
05:22Yeah, they do.
05:22They look like somebody gave plasma all over these things.
05:24God, there's so much wind.
05:25I'm like eating more hair than I am chicken wing, I think.
05:28I really like peanut butter and jelly.
05:29I really like chicken wings.
05:30But this doesn't need to happen.
05:32This doesn't go together.
05:32Ever.
05:33Yeah.
05:33It feels like you were eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
05:36and then somebody had chicken wings and then...
05:37Threw one into your mouth.
05:39Yeah.
05:39But we're at the fair and it's supposed to be interesting and fun,
05:42which I guess this is.
05:43I wouldn't have more fun with more of these.
05:46And it looks like krang.
05:48It does.
05:49All good.
05:50Okay.
05:50What do you think?
05:51Like a five or something?
05:53Yeah.
05:53Number nine.
05:54All right.
05:54This is the Chili Cheese Empanada.
05:56Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a normal empanada with stuff on it?
06:01That's a good bite.
06:02Three alarm chili in here.
06:03Oh yeah?
06:04So like a tornado drill?
06:05That was maybe more stuff on the inside.
06:07Just to put it on top, like that feels kind of half-assed to me.
06:10But why be negative?
06:11Why be negative?
06:12I like it better than the last couple of things we've had.
06:14Yeah, me too.
06:14I like the pickled onions on the side.
06:17I like the Fritos.
06:19Special?
06:20No, no.
06:21We'll put Fritos on something and call it a special dish or whatever, right?
06:24Not to be negative.
06:25Good job.
06:27Five?
06:27Yeah, six.
06:28All right, let's move on to the next thing.
06:30This is the Chili Cheese Frito Corn in a Cup.
06:33Are you supposed to mix it up?
06:34Am I doing this right?
06:35I don't know, but it doesn't look very good when you do that.
06:37It's just a cup of chili, basically.
06:39It's exactly what you want when it's 97 degrees outside with 100% humidity.
06:43Corn in there and Fritos and Chili Cheese.
06:47Very corny.
06:49The Indiana State Fair, at the very least, is good for corn.
06:52You know, people come here and try to eat, you know, they want to eat as much corn as they can.
06:55So this is a good alternative.
06:57I'd say if you're just in the mood for like a corn snack at the fair, this is a good seven.
07:03Yeah, seven's about right.
07:04All right, moving on.
07:05Number 11.
07:06This is the All-American Bloody Mary.
07:08All right.
07:08You're gonna suck, I'm gonna eat.
07:10Oh, okay, sweet.
07:10Nothing says America like a meal on a drink.
07:13It's a very good Bloody Mary.
07:15Zing Zang.
07:16I used to love Zing Zang.
07:18This is like a bunch of school food on top of a Bloody Mary.
07:20Yeah.
07:21Do you want to eat some of this burger?
07:22Please, no.
07:23The problem with something like this is it's so labor-intensive that they have to have all
07:26this stuff ready to go and so it's just laying there cold.
07:28Right.
07:28It's all flat.
07:30Like somebody glued a bunch of yellow baby teeth to a stick.
07:34But I'm here, I guess I gotta eat it or something.
07:36Gosh, so...
07:38Okay.
07:38I'm gonna be drunk after this.
07:41All right.
07:42Drunk Brian is very fun.
07:43He's very lovey-dovey.
07:44Oh, yeah.
07:45And a lot of Pearl Jam.
07:46Lots of love and Pearl Jam.
07:48I came in here a Zing Zang guy anyway.
07:50Sevens, as far as that goes.
07:51For the bottom part.
07:52For the bottom part.
07:54For the top part, I'm gonna give it a two.
07:55Okay, so split the difference?
07:58A five.
07:58A five?
07:59All right.
07:59All right, we got a little poutine here.
08:01All right.
08:02Neither you or I are Canadian.
08:04No, but Alanis Morissette is and so is Ryan Reynolds.
08:08It's almost like we just talked about that before the cameras turned on.
08:12The gravy is way too salty.
08:14Yeah.
08:15And the cheese curds are ice cold.
08:17On the scale of Canadian bands, the gravy would be...
08:21This might be Nickelback gravy.
08:22We found the thing that you can put on fries and have them not be very good.
08:26If White Castle started serving poutine, this is what it would taste like.
08:30More like poof-teen.
08:31This is the worst.
08:32This is the worst thing we've had today.
08:34This is worse than the pickled beer.
08:35What do we give that, a three?
08:36We need something that sucks.
08:38There's only three left in there.
08:41Covered in gravy that just tastes like well water.
08:43It's starting to make me sick, dude.
08:44I'm going to give it a one,
08:46just because it comes with a bucket your kid can play with at the beach.
08:50Spicy pickle pizza.
08:51I mean, it's got to be better than what we just had.
08:52Yeah.
08:5313, we're halfway there.
08:54God, this is dense.
08:58Come on, man.
08:58Give us a break.
08:59I wouldn't want to actually have this for dinner,
09:01but at the fair, this is kind of awesome.
09:03A lot of pickle stuff this year, though, man.
09:05I like it more than I think I do, I think, because I'm so full.
09:08That's a good flavor.
09:09If you like pickles.
09:10Your wife doesn't like pickles, right?
09:11No, she'll divorce me if I bring in pickles into the house.
09:14Try to get a year's worth of pickle in today.
09:16Yeah.
09:16Because you're not getting any pickle at home.
09:18No.
09:18I'm going to give this a seven.
09:20Okay, I see that.
09:22I was going to say six and a half.
09:23I'm just pickled out, man.
09:24I know, but you have to account for mood and fullness at this point.
09:28Solid seven on the spicy pickle pizza.
09:30This is the grilled cheese slammer.
09:32This one's like made to order, so it's all crisp.
09:34I love mac and cheese on pulled pork.
09:35That's like my favorite food.
09:37It reminds me of Pogs.
09:38You ever play Pogs?
09:39The slammer?
09:40Oh, uh, no.
09:45Smash Brothers!
09:53You can have some of our grilled cheese.
09:55All right, we got you.
09:57Next time we come around.
09:58This is beautiful.
09:59This is the way to go if you're going to get grilled cheese.
10:01Especially out of the grilled sandwiches.
10:02I'm going to give this an eight.
10:03I love it.
10:04Tastes like the flavor it's supposed to taste.
10:05Yeah, I'm going to give it a solid eight.
10:07Dill Pickle Dr. Pepper.
10:09Oh, now I'm depressed.
10:11That's not what I wanted to look at.
10:12Thankfully, there's not a whole lot of pickle flavor.
10:15It just kind of blends in with the other 23 flavors.
10:17Yeah, it's like you're drinking Dr. Pepper with a tenderloin or something.
10:20A pickle from your tenderloin accidentally dropped into your Dr. Pepper.
10:23Well, the waitress isn't coming around yet, so I just got to drink this.
10:26I'll just drink this.
10:27It's apparently like super viral, right?
10:30Your kids will have fun with it, I guess, or TikTok or Snapchat or whatever they're watching.
10:34Hey, internet.
10:35It's fine.
10:36Yeah, I guess.
10:37Pickles do not go in sodas, period.
10:40Period.
10:40Like a normal Dr. Pepper is like a 10.
10:42Yeah.
10:42So then put pickles in it.
10:44Seven.
10:45I was going to say six.
10:46Six and a half?
10:47Six and a half.
10:48Number 16, this is the Sweet Chili Sugar Daddy Sub.
10:52Look at that.
10:54Is that AI?
10:55A long donut.
10:56Sweet chili meatballs in there.
10:58And just glaze everywhere.
11:00There's so many things that are going on right here.
11:02I've never tasted anything like that before.
11:03Me neither.
11:04All this sweet chili sauce is killing your taste buds.
11:07I think this is pretty awesome.
11:08I mean, points for originality just right off the bat.
11:11I like the spice too.
11:11There's a little bit of a kick to it.
11:12That chili sauce, that's really cool.
11:14It's really interesting.
11:15And, you know, put anything on a donut, you win.
11:17I'm saying like 8.5.
11:19Yeah, 8.5.
11:20That was a fun one.
11:21It was.
11:22Kind of lifted my spirits a little bit.
11:24Me too.
11:24I feel good about everything.
11:25Let's keep going.
11:26Number 17.
11:27The Bratzilla.
11:28There's a huge brat.
11:29There's pulled pork again.
11:31There's crispy onions.
11:33And there's a pretzel bun just to add more denseness to the whole situation.
11:36Yeah.
11:37Are you a Godzilla fan?
11:38Nope.
11:39Once we eat this, it'll be Bratzilla minus one.
11:41I started this day off raving about pulled pork,
11:43but I'm starting to like really get tired of it.
11:46Do we meet in the middle like the lady in the tram?
11:50Let's not do that.
11:53This might be the densest thing we've had all day.
11:55This is like eating a whole pack of Play-Doh.
11:57If you love meat, then you should probably come to the fair and order this.
12:00If you're Uncle Gary circa 1989.
12:03Before your triple bypass surgery, and then go immediately get one.
12:07I would say if you came to the fair and you were in the mood for something ridiculous,
12:10that thing is solid.
12:10I was going to go with a nine.
12:12Oh, wow.
12:12I'll go eight.
12:14Number 18.
12:15Homestretch, let's do this.
12:16Jerk Chicken Nachos.
12:18Man, everything looks super fresh on here, dude.
12:20I do like it when food insults you.
12:21That's good.
12:22You know why it's good?
12:23It's because it's all fresh, dude.
12:24We're not making any jokes about jerk sauce.
12:27There's no joke there, you two.
12:28There's no joke there.
12:29This gets extra points just for being fresh.
12:31Everything else we've eaten today has been deep fried.
12:33Ah, jerk sauce is good.
12:34I'm going to give it a 7.5.
12:357.5 is good.
12:37All right, here we go.
12:37We got the Happy Jack Sandwich.
12:39I spent a lot of years being vegetarian and I love jackfruit, so we'll see how this goes.
12:43Oh, wow.
12:46It's so sweet right now.
12:48This sauce, that's like absolutely too sweet for me.
12:50Oh, really?
12:51I think it's kind of, it hits after all the salt we've had.
12:54Not deep fried.
12:56That's nice.
12:57Not the pickle, for the love of God.
12:59Eat as much of that as you want.
13:00I mean, thanks.
13:03I'm going to try to take my personality out of it and give it a real rating of like a 6.5.
13:11Okay, I was going to say 7.
13:12And I think if you were a vegetarian at the fair,
13:14you'd be happy that they exist and you would probably like that sandwich.
13:17Item number 20, Tangerine Chicken Wings with the Kool-Aid infused pickles.
13:2120, how you feeling?
13:23Awful.
13:24What's Tangerine flavor?
13:25I don't have a clue.
13:27Kool-Aid infused pickles.
13:29There's a lot of pickles at the fair this year.
13:31All right, what do you think?
13:31This is like cherry or fruit punch something?
13:34Yeah.
13:37The grape ones look...
13:38Yeah, they found it in the crawl space.
13:40Whoa, that is great.
13:42The Kool-Aid pickles are just fun.
13:44Yeah, they're kind of stupid, but then I'm having a good time.
13:47Having hair and eating wings is the worst thing possible.
13:50That's the basis of the entire show, I think.
13:52I mean, if you want wings, you're getting a good product here.
13:55I'd give this a 9 for sure.
13:56Okay.
13:56This is the Smash Burger Bison Taco.
14:00What number are we at?
14:0121.
14:02Okay, how you feeling?
14:04Really, really bad.
14:05Like not good at all, right?
14:07But it looks really good.
14:08It does.
14:08It looks fresh and good.
14:10Wow, that is great.
14:12Dude, at this point for me to like something this much is insane because I'm so full.
14:16I don't think that they would probably call this a tzatziki sauce,
14:19but it has that kind of feel.
14:21Ah, this is great.
14:22Chopped up fresh veggies.
14:24That boosts your score like three points.
14:26It's still pink in the middle, even though it's a smash.
14:28Smash or pass?
14:29I would smash.
14:30Smash or pass?
14:33Smash?
14:34Do you not even understand what I'm trying to say?
14:35No, I don't know what you're talking about.
14:36What are you talking about?
14:37Nine and a half?
14:38Nine and a half.
14:38That's what I was thinking.
14:40Nine and a half.
14:409.5 is exactly what I was thinking.
14:42Let's get out of here.
14:43We got three more to go.
14:44All right, this is number 22.
14:46This is a gravy and taters.
14:47That looks so far from good.
14:49I like taters.
14:50Okay, you go then.
14:52I like.
14:52In between takes here, I chugged a bottle of water.
14:55Feeling a little sick at the moment.
14:56The gravy is pretty on point.
14:58The poutine gravy was like some of the worst I've ever had.
15:00This gravy is pretty good.
15:01For me, there's like things that are like worth the calories
15:03where I'm like, all right, whatever.
15:06You know what I mean?
15:06I'll throw caution to the wind.
15:08This is not one of them.
15:10Also, I feel like I'm going to heave.
15:12Some competitive eaters throw up.
15:14We don't do that.
15:16I might though.
15:18That potato spiral thing is not in my wheelhouse of things to ever order, ever.
15:22I got to give this like a two.
15:24Middle of the road, five for me.
15:25Five.
15:26Swine pizza.
15:27Penultimate swine pizza.
15:29This looks like something I'd be into if I weren't.
15:31Earlier in the day.
15:32If I weren't John Goodman at the moment.
15:33If I don't come into work tomorrow, it's because I'm dead.
15:36They got crumbly griffos on top.
15:38Dry.
15:39Is it dry?
15:40It did just get caught in the back of my throat.
15:44I sound like Jay Sherman.
15:47Yeah, hey, the critic.
15:48Is that right?
15:49Oh man, I got one.
15:50Let's say four.
15:51Four.
15:52Let's go with four because I like, well, I think I'd be bummed if I bought this.
15:55I feel dead.
15:56We got one item left.
15:57We can do this.
15:58My stomach is like getting in the way of my lungs.
16:03All right, let's go to the last item.
16:04Let's go to the last item.
16:05Okay, love you.
16:08I've never wanted anything less than this.
16:11And it is the last item and it's been a long day.
16:13It's a Korean corn dog.
16:15It's got like donut batter and fried chunks and...
16:19Panko.
16:20Yeah, I'm about to panko my pants.
16:22You want to do it first?
16:24You hate corn dogs.
16:25I hate corn dogs.
16:27I feel nauseous when I get touched.
16:29That's not good.
16:31But flavors don't work together.
16:33Just regular yellow mustard and it's not working for me.
16:36Are you all right?
16:36I just swallowed the first bite.
16:38It took me like 25 minutes.
16:40There's a sweet, there's a potato, there's a hot dog.
16:43Somebody just played like 52 pickup with ingredients.
16:46Yeah.
16:47It's like somebody working at a restaurant just
16:49sweeped up some stuff and stuck it in the oven.
16:51We need something that sucks.
16:52This is a hell of a way to end the day.
16:53I'd rather eat the poutine than this.
16:55Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay.
16:56I give this a zero.
17:00I think I'd give it a one.
17:01I think it's because I don't want to eat either of those ever again in my life.
17:04This is a zero.
17:06All right, 24 items down the hatch.
17:08Third place came late in the game.
17:09That was the bratzilla.
17:10Yeah.
17:11Almost a fourth quarter come back by them.
17:13Second place also late in the game was the smash burger bison taco.
17:18That sauce on top was...
17:20But first place today is the nitro hog fried sugar biscuit with barbecue and apple butter sauce.
17:28So good.
17:29We gave it a 10 first thing and we went all the way around.
17:32And no one else even came close to it.
17:34I never want to eat again.
17:36No.
17:36But we're coming back to do all the sweets.
17:39Yeah.
17:40All the fried cookie butter nonsense.
17:43You know, you got to balance it out.
17:44Yeah. We did all the salty stuff.
17:45You got to do all the sugary stuff.
17:46Thank you guys for joining Mash Brothers.
17:48Feel free to leave comments and tell us what you want to see us eat, not eat, whatever.
17:53Leave them in there for us.
17:53We love to read them.
17:54We'll see you next time.
17:56Thank you for joining us.