Senator Padilla, Atty. Kapunan discuss sexual consent between husband and wife

Manila Bulletin

During a recent hearing in the Senate Committee on Public Information and Mass Media, Senator Robinhood “Robin” Padilla and women's and children's rights advocate Atty. Lorna Kapunan talked about sexual consent between husband and wife.   Padilla seemed surprised when Kapunan explained that “no means no” even in the context of marriage.  Subscribe to the Manila Bulletin Online channel! - https://www.youtube.com/TheManilaBulletin  Visit our website at http://mb.com.ph Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manilabulletin  Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/manila_bulletin Instagram: https://instagram.com/manilabulletin Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@manilabulletin  #ManilaBulletinOnline #ManilaBulletin #LatestNews

Transcript

00:00What if it's a wife?

00:02The wife says,

00:04Honey,

00:06the wife will say,

00:08My head hurts, I don't want to.

00:10The husband forced

00:12the woman to have sex.

00:14Is that rape?

00:16The answer is yes.

00:18So what?

00:20So the former

00:22obligation

00:24of the wife

00:26of a woman or a man

00:28when the wife

00:30asks the man or woman

00:32to have sex,

00:34is that not rape?

00:36No. When you say no,

00:38no means no.

00:40Especially

00:42the men.

00:44How is that?

00:46For example,

00:50the woman,

00:52your wife,

00:54has a mixed

00:56relationship with the man.

00:58This is true.

01:00Sometimes you think

01:02your wife is just being nice.

01:04How can you say

01:06no is no?

01:08You think she's just being nice.

01:10It's hard to distinguish

01:12between a man and a woman.

01:14Sometimes,

01:16it's like they don't want to,

01:18but they want to.

01:20What is that?

01:22Are we pitiful?

01:24Do we have

01:26the right to say no?

01:28It's hard to believe,

01:30especially me,

01:32but

01:34what if I say no?

01:38No means no

01:40applies to both

01:42genders.

01:44When the husband says

01:46no,

01:48he can't be forced

01:50by the wife.

01:52For example,

01:54let's say

01:56you have

01:58a marital problem.

02:00Can you use that

02:02against the woman

02:04or the man?

02:06Can you say,

02:08no, because that's why

02:10I can't be separated.

02:12Can that be

02:14an evidence?

02:16Yes.

02:18For instance,

02:20the basis of

02:22the annulment of marriage

02:24is psychological incapacity.

02:28The basis of

02:30psychological incapacity is

02:32the mutual obligation

02:34of the husband

02:36of love and respect.

02:38Now, part of love

02:40is showing your love,

02:42but respect is also included.

02:46For instance,

02:48if your spouse

02:50doesn't want

02:52to have sex,

02:54you force her,

02:56you no longer show

02:58respect to your wife.

03:00That's one of the

03:02circumstances of

03:04psychological incapacity.

03:06If you're always forced

03:08to do that,

03:10you can file

03:12an annulment of marriage.

03:14That's what's important.

03:16Men's rights are

03:18human rights,

03:20so respect

03:22the human

03:24body.

03:30I'll just clarify

03:32what I said about annulment

03:34and oral.

03:38When this was

03:40discussed in Congress,

03:42many congressmen

03:44said,

03:46how about dentists?

03:50What if a dentist

03:52puts an instrument into the mouth?

03:54By definition of rape,

03:56any instrument

03:58into any opening.

04:00Did the dentist

04:02commit rape?

04:04The answer is

04:06no.

04:08Because in

04:10the law,

04:12annul sex results.

04:14In oral sex,

04:18in annul sex,

04:20any instrument.

04:22Let's not

04:24trivialize

04:26the crime of rape.

04:28Let's not be

04:30philosophers.

04:32The allegations

04:34of rape are serious.

04:36Even in this law,

04:38that's life imprisonment.

04:40Especially

04:42when there's a qualifying

04:44circumstance.

04:46What's sad and shocking

04:48is that in our time,

04:50it was incestuous.

04:52The father and the daughter

04:54either

04:56under the influence of drugs.

04:58Incestuous rape.

05:00They raped their own child.

05:04That's what should

05:06be given

05:08a big punishment.

05:10Incestuous rape.

05:12I have another question.

05:14For example, Atty.

05:18You can't leave your wife

05:20who trusts you.

05:22Especially me.

05:24You have

05:26sexual rights to your wife.

05:28For example,

05:32you don't choose

05:34when you're in heat.

05:36What if

05:38your wife doesn't want you?

05:40There's no other way

05:42for a man

05:44to choose.

05:46If you're a woman,

05:48it's a different case.

05:50What can you

05:52say to your wife

05:54that I'm not in the law?

05:56What about me?

05:58You're not in the mood.

06:00What can she do

06:02when she's in the law

06:04when she's in the law?

06:08We don't have a choice.

06:10You can just sleep.

06:12Maybe the issue

06:14there is not legal.

06:16The issue there is

06:18psychosocial.

06:20In the law,

06:22what can a man do

06:24in the law?

06:26Will you help me?

06:28That's it.

06:30It's hard to say in Tagalog.

06:32It's hard to say in Tagalog.

06:34Will you help me?

06:36What can you do?

06:38What can a woman do

06:40when she's in the law?

06:42It's up to you.

06:44Sometimes,

06:46a woman's law

06:48is not arbitrary.

06:52For instance,

06:58in the case of

07:00if the husband

07:02is drunk,

07:04or under the influence of drugs,

07:06and he wants

07:08to have sex

07:10with the wife,

07:12under that circumstance,

07:14it will be violent.

07:16It's not

07:18out of love.

07:20It's not violent.

07:22He's not drunk.

07:24It's out of urge.

07:26That's it.

07:28Maybe the people

07:30in the country don't like me

07:32when I say that men

07:34have different urges.

07:36There's an urge.

07:38What can you do?

07:40Your wife is there to serve you.

07:42She doesn't want to.

07:44What can I do

07:46so that my wife won't complain?

07:48What can I say

07:50to her?

07:52Babe, please help me

07:54in a way.

07:56Counseling?

07:58You need counseling.

08:00Or just pray.

08:02I'll just

08:04correct the statement.

08:06The urge is just

08:0830 minutes.

08:10Watch Netflix, Korean

08:12telenovela.

08:14So legally, nothing?

08:16Tell your wife, help me.

08:18That's why it's important

08:20the issue of mutual respect.

08:24If your spouse

08:26refuses,

08:28whether valid or not,

08:30respect the decision

08:32of the wife

08:34or the husband in that case.

08:36The other thing is the statement of the chair.

08:38With all due respect,

08:40it's not

08:42an obligation

08:44of a wife

08:46to serve the husband.

08:48That's normal.

08:50That's what's instilled

08:52in fact.

Transcript

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