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FunTranscript
00:00Hi, my name is Erica, and I'm from the USA.
00:02Please like and subscribe.
00:04Some people might call me a nerd,
00:06but that's only because I actually enjoy school
00:08and love working hard.
00:10Maybe that's what happens when the single dad who raised you
00:12is a world-renowned neurosurgeon.
00:15But I never felt pressured by him to excel.
00:17Like him, I just like being the best.
00:19And while I don't have many close friends,
00:22I generally get along with everybody in my class.
00:24Well, everybody except one, Genevieve Leroy.
00:27That's only because she's the actual devil.
00:30Not really, but hear me out.
00:32Genevieve transferred to our school from France
00:34when we were in the fifth grade,
00:35and I immediately hated her snobby attitude.
00:39Are you seriously reading, Matilda?
00:41Back in France, we just finished Les Miserables.
00:44American children are so immature.
00:46Do you still wear diapers too?
00:48She was also crazy smart and got the highest grades
00:52in class.
00:53I'm not even trying.
00:54She was just so conceited and full of herself.
00:56And I just had to show her
00:58that she wasn't better than everybody.
01:00So I worked harder than I ever had,
01:02and soon our grades were equal.
01:04So you think you're as good as me?
01:06No, Genevieve, I'm better.
01:08And from that day forward,
01:09everything was a competition between us.
01:11But there was never a clear winner.
01:13We always got the same grades.
01:15We both got first place at the sixth grade science fair.
01:18We always had the same number of followers on social media.
01:21And somehow our TikToks got the same amount of likes.
01:24Would you believe it?
01:25We even shared the same birthday.
01:27In the seventh grade,
01:28our families accidentally had our parties
01:30at the same pizza arcade.
01:32Instead of having fun,
01:33we spent the whole time biting each other
01:35on the Dance Dance Revolution machine.
01:36Getting tired, Erica?
01:38You wish, Genevieve.
01:39I could do this forever.
01:41We kept dancing even after everyone left.
01:43And the pizza arcade security team
01:45had to literally throw us out.
01:47I was so sore for the next few days.
01:50I groaned every time I moved.
01:52Things only got worse once we were in high school.
01:54In our last year, we both ran for school president,
01:57but our smear campaigns and aggressive politics
02:00got so out of hand
02:01that violence broke out between our supporters.
02:03The principal canceled the election
02:05and chose a student as president who wasn't either of us.
02:08But we were still gonna end up
02:10being co-valedictorians of our class.
02:12And I had to make sure I wrote a better speech
02:15than Martin Luther King himself.
02:17The bright side of it all
02:18was that high school would be over soon
02:20and we'd never have to share a stage or room again.
02:23But to make things worse,
02:24it was around this time that Bethany barged into my life.
02:27I always thought dad was too busy for romance,
02:30but he'd met this demon flirt monster
02:32while he was treating her mother.
02:33And now the two were dating.
02:35Isn't your dad just like the cutest ever, Erica?
02:38She had him wrapped around her little finger.
02:41And before I knew it, he'd asked her to move in with us.
02:43Don't think of me as a replacement for your mother.
02:46Not until the wedding anyway.
02:47Ha ha ha.
02:48As if having a snooty French arch nemesis wasn't enough,
02:52I now had to live with Barbie's evil cousin.
02:55We couldn't stand each other.
02:57All she did all day was constantly try and fail
03:00to become a viral influencer
03:02through endless Instagram and TikTok posts
03:05for a non-existent audience.
03:07Don't forget to like and subscribe.
03:09I'll teach you how to trap the man of your dreams.
03:11And whenever dad wasn't around,
03:13she would call me a loser and an annoying know-it-all
03:16and go on and on about how I would never get a boyfriend.
03:19No matter what some of those ugly girls say online,
03:22boys do not find intelligence attractive, Erica.
03:25But at that point, boys were the last thing on my mind.
03:29The same went for Genevieve.
03:30We were both so busy trying to be the best at everything
03:33that we didn't have time for boys.
03:34Uh, hey, Erica,
03:36do you maybe want to go to the movies with me?
03:38How can I go to the movies
03:39when I still don't know absolutely everything
03:41about the War of 1812?
03:42Now, shush!
03:43Genevieve, why don't we-
03:45Stop, you poor boy.
03:46Is your highest ambition to be nothing more
03:48than a distraction to me?
03:50But that all changed
03:51the day Lee Taylor Reyes transferred to our school.
03:54Howdy, y'all.
03:55He walked into our lives
03:57with his rugged good looks and Texas cowboy charm.
04:00All the girls fell for him,
04:02but none fell harder than Genevieve and me.
04:05Oh my God, mon dieu.
04:07We thought we were competitive before,
04:09but now it was war.
04:11Genevieve and I started doing things
04:13neither of us had ever done before.
04:15When Lee Taylor became quarterback,
04:17we went to every game.
04:18Go, Lee Taylor, go!
04:20Lee Taylor, you are the best at American foolishness.
04:23When Lee Taylor got the lead in the school play,
04:25we went to every show.
04:26Bravo, bravo!
04:28You have resurrected the theater, Lee Taylor.
04:31Genevieve had always been
04:32the more fashionable of the two of us.
04:34And once Lee Taylor hit the scene,
04:36her clothes and makeup game reached a level unseen.
04:39That's a mighty fine dress you're wearing there, Genevieve.
04:42Oh, what, this old thing?
04:45I only wear it when I don't care what I look like.
04:48There was no way I could compete with her on that level.
04:50Not on my own, I needed help.
04:52And there was only one person I could turn to, Bethany.
04:55Erica, it's so wonderful.
04:57You're finally acting like a normal girl.
05:00I was so desperate that I let Bethany
05:02give me a complete makeover.
05:04She used dad's credit cards
05:06to buy me all new clothes and makeup.
05:08She took me to the most expensive salon in town
05:10and started giving me flirting lessons.
05:13Dad was just happy that we seemed
05:14to be finally getting along.
05:16And the whole time, she was filming everything
05:18and posting videos on her stupid channel.
05:21Hey guys, join me on my brave and selfless journey
05:25as I turn Erica from a zero to a Shiro
05:29and help get her the man of her dreams.
05:31And the videos actually went viral.
05:34Bethany was officially an influencer now.
05:36And the weirdest part was that her lessons were working.
05:40Lee Taylor was now paying just as much attention to me
05:43as he was to Genevieve.
05:44There's something different about you, Erica.
05:46And I like it.
05:47Thanks for noticing, Lee Taylor.
05:50Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
05:52But just like with everything else
05:53between me and Genevieve,
05:55neither of us was actually winning.
05:57No matter what we did, Lee Taylor
05:58would only lead us both on
06:00and wouldn't make a clear choice.
06:02Things got so bad in the struggle for Lee Taylor's heart
06:05that our grades began to slip.
06:07We stopped doing homework.
06:08We were failing tests.
06:09Neither of us were valedictorian anymore.
06:11But we didn't care.
06:13All our effort was going into out-scheming the other
06:16to win over Lee Taylor.
06:18Like the time he had a minor football injury
06:20and we both went to visit him in the hospital.
06:22Oh, you poor baby.
06:23It's a shame your mommy is out of town.
06:25But look, my chef made you a consomme
06:28and I will read you the sports section
06:30of the newspaper in French.
06:31That looks like gross bathwater.
06:34I've got just the thing to make you feel better.
06:36Some good old American cheeseburgers.
06:39Also, a recent study shows
06:40that most people think Spanish is hotter.
06:43It ended up being a screaming match in French and Spanish
06:46that got us thrown out of the hospital.
06:48And one day, after the teacher made me
06:49and Lee Taylor lab partners,
06:51Genevieve marched up to me angrily in the cafeteria later
06:54and pinned me against the wall.
06:56Give it up, Erica.
06:57No matter how much makeup you put on
06:59or how much idiotic giggling you do,
07:01Lee Taylor will be mine.
07:02You've never beaten me and you never will.
07:05What are you talking about?
07:07You wear so much makeup, you look like a French mime.
07:09And besides, it's you who's never beaten me.
07:13I am so much better than you.
07:14In every way that counts.
07:16Then how come you've never proved it?
07:18Prove this.
07:19Did you just throw a hamburger at my face
07:21after saying something totally stupid?
07:23Oui.
07:24Do you want French fries with that?
07:26As we rolled around on the floor,
07:27screaming and attacking each other,
07:29we knew we were making an absolute spectacle of ourselves.
07:33But we didn't care about what anyone thought
07:35except Lee Taylor.
07:36And the next day, he invited me and Genevieve
07:39to meet him by the bleachers after school.
07:41Ladies, y'all are two of the prettiest
07:43and sweetest gals I've ever met.
07:45And I've really tried to choose,
07:46but a choice is impossible.
07:48So you must make it.
07:49What the heck are you talking about?
07:51Why do you speak nonsense, Lee Taylor?
07:52I heard that y'all's rivalry goes way, way back.
07:56I'm thinking it's time that it was finally settled
07:58with a race.
07:59This Saturday, one lap around the school track.
08:01Winner takes all, including my heart.
08:04We were both shocked by this proposal.
08:06But when he gave us that heart-melting look of his,
08:09we agreed.
08:09What we didn't know was that Lee Taylor
08:12had live-streamed our conversation to the whole school.
08:14And in the days leading up to Saturday,
08:16the race was all anyone could talk about.
08:18Posters were put up advertising the race for love.
08:22Lee Taylor was actually charging admission.
08:24None of this was legal.
08:25The principals and teachers didn't dare try to stop it
08:28for fear that the students would rip them to pieces.
08:30Everyone was just way too excited about it.
08:33The school became divided between Team Erica
08:35and Team Genevieve.
08:37Some of Genevieve's biggest supporters
08:39started wearing black and white striped shirts and berets
08:41while waving around baguettes
08:43and speaking in terrible French accents.
08:46Oui, oui, don't you see?
08:47Genevieve's the girl for Lee.
08:49Things were getting so nuts
08:51that people were approaching me in the halls,
08:53offering me money to lose the race
08:55so they could win big on bets.
08:56Even Bethany started showing up to school
08:58to interview students for her army of new followers.
09:01So tell me, are you Team Erica or Team Genevieve?
09:05Team Erica all the way.
09:06USA, USA.
09:09Lee Taylor Reyes, be honest,
09:11who do you really want to win the race?
09:13All I say is, may the best girl win.
09:15While all this was going on,
09:17I was just trying to ignore the insanity.
09:19I'd spent every night doing laps around my yard
09:22trying to get faster and faster.
09:24My head was filled with images of my post-race life
09:27when I would walk around arm in arm with Lee Taylor.
09:30But in a weird way,
09:32the thing I was looking forward to the most
09:34was an end to this eternal feud with Genevieve.
09:36Saturday came, and the crowd was bigger
09:38than any homecoming game in our school's history.
09:41Go, Erica, go!
09:42Viva la Genevieve!
09:44This is it, my fabulous followers.
09:47The race for love live.
09:49Now you'll see once and for all
09:51Erica's transformation from loser to not loser.
09:55Yeah.
09:56Despite the bizarreness of the scene,
09:58Genevieve and I lined up for the race.
10:00Lee Taylor had even bought
10:01an actual starter pistol from home.
10:03On your marks, get set, go!
10:06We were off in a flash.
10:07The crowd roared.
10:09Genevieve and I weren't exactly athletes,
10:11but we were giving it our all.
10:12We were feeding off the energy surrounding us.
10:15The only problem was that neither of us could break away.
10:17We were level, like always, literally shoulder to shoulder.
10:21As we approached the finish line,
10:23it seemed like this would end in yet another tie.
10:26My energy was flailing, and in desperation,
10:29my eyes searched for Lee Taylor,
10:31and they found him,
10:32kissing another girl right in front of everyone.
10:35I stopped short,
10:36fully expecting Genevieve to race ahead and win,
10:38but she had stopped too,
10:39and was also staring at Lee.
10:41Sweaty and out of breath,
10:43we looked all around us at the ridiculous result
10:45of the war we'd been waging for so long.
10:48What the heck are we doing?
10:49This is very foolish, no?
10:51All of this for a boy?
10:53A conceited and deceitful boy.
10:55He really just manipulated us to make this all happen.
10:58I don't think I've ever felt this down in my entire life.
11:02Look at what we are wearing.
11:03What happened to us?
11:04Our rivalry used to inspire us
11:06to become better and better at everything,
11:08but now, it's only made us worse.
11:10Oui, I've always counted on you
11:12to motivate me to be the best I can be.
11:15That's what I've always counted on you for.
11:17But why did there have to be all this hate and jealousy?
11:20I have a very tough mother,
11:21who says second best is a term some loser made up.
11:24That's why I'm so competitive.
11:26What's your excuse?
11:27I don't really have one.
11:28I was just born this way.
11:30But look where all this jealousy has gotten us.
11:32Silly girls playing stupid games.
11:35No more.
11:36I agree, no more.
11:37Genevieve and I walked through that finish line
11:39hand in hand and left the field without looking back.
11:42The crowd started booing
11:44and angrily demanding Lee Taylor refund them
11:46the money he had charged them.
11:48In case you're wondering what happened next,
11:50Dad finally walked in on Bethany
11:52screaming like a maniac at me,
11:54saw her true colors and threw her out of the house.
11:57Lee Taylor kept playing with the hearts of other girls
12:00until the day he messed up with one girl too many.
12:03Help!
12:04She's trying to run me over with her car.
12:06Genevieve and I graduated top of our class.
12:09She went on to be a cosmetics entrepreneur
12:11and I became a lawyer.
12:12Years later, we still keep in touch
12:14and cheer each other's successes.