The Peace Treaty
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00:00Oh, don't go to him, don't go to him!
00:22Lerchio! Lerchio!
00:24Oh, yes, mistress?
00:25My guest and I don't want to be disturbed.
00:28Oh, yes, I understand.
00:30We're having a little rest.
00:32Yes, yes.
00:34And the rest.
00:37You know she's got up in her room, don't you?
00:39A captain, an army officer, a Captain Bumshus.
00:42Oh, I can't stand these, do you know these army types?
00:45I can't stand these army types.
00:47They all talk so high, don't they?
00:49No, it's all like that.
00:51What do you do? You feel like you should loosen something or, you know...
00:55Let's have a spot of tiffin with our muffin.
00:58I can't stand them.
00:59Anyway, none of our business, I suppose.
01:01Well, let's get... Greetings, good citizens.
01:03Now, let's get on with the prologue.
01:06Ooh, now...
01:08It's always cold, this bench.
01:10Now, I'll stay...
01:12By the way, you don't mind if I just go on cleaning my master's sword, do you?
01:16Because it's got rusty, like the rest of his equipment.
01:25Well, no, I won't. No, I'll do it afterwards.
01:27You can't do two things at once.
01:28Now, here we are. Now, the prologue.
01:30Our story this week concerns the Greek god Pan.
01:35Pan.
01:36Now, Pan, as you may or may not know,
01:38has the hooves, the ears and the horn of a goat.
01:43A goat. And no buts about it.
01:49Oh, please yourselves. Anyway...
01:51Now, this god Pan used to spend much of his time chasing nymphs.
01:56Excuse me.
01:57Chasing...
01:59Chasing nymphs through the woods.
02:02And when he wasn't doing that, he was a plumber.
02:06Well, you must have heard the old song,
02:08the furry, furry pipes of Pan.
02:14I know, I know. I know what you're thinking.
02:16As soon as you heard me say Pan, you thought,
02:18here it comes, he's clean round the bend.
02:23No, ladies and gentlemen,
02:24we don't descend to that level of humour on this show.
02:26Now, you know that.
02:27Anyway, it came to pass...
02:31Oh, dear, my master's coming back.
02:33I'd better warn the mistress.
02:35Oh, dear.
02:42Were you responsible for this, you oaf?
02:44Yes, Captain Bumshus.
02:45Don't you dare do it again.
02:47Yes, but Captain...
02:48Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter!
02:52Go on, tell me thus!
02:56Thank you, lucky you.
02:57Now, men, I...
02:59Where did they go to?
03:01Well, I think when you say sinister, they must have dextered, master.
03:05I see you've finished my broad piece. Yes.
03:07What about my small piece?
03:09Well...
03:11I think that was worth bothering with, actually.
03:14Yes.
03:15Don't call me master.
03:17General Ludicrous when I'm in uniform, remember?
03:20Yes, General Ludicrous, master. General, yes, sir, yes.
03:23Oh, it's good to be back in command again.
03:26Command. Ha-ha, yes.
03:28Would you believe a third pumpy and foot and mouth?
03:32I say, we take the field against the barbarians on Saturday.
03:36On Saturday? Oh, yes. Home or away?
03:39Away. War's no fun at home, you know.
03:42Ah, no, master, no.
03:43I say, has Captain Bumptious arrived yet?
03:46Well, I don't think so.
03:48Oh, that's odd.
03:49I arranged to meet him here to work out some manoeuvres.
03:52Oh, I think he's doing those all right, yes.
03:55He is? Yeah, he's in the public park.
03:57Oh, good fellow, Bumptious, you know. Very keen on it.
04:01So I gathered, yes.
04:03I'll march down there. Yes.
04:05Sinister, dexter. Sinister, dexter.
04:07Atchoo!
04:10There he goes, Hercules Unchained.
04:13I say, old fool, he's past it.
04:16All these Romans, they get me down there.
04:18War mad. They are, they're war mad.
04:20They're never happier when they're bashing away at something.
04:24How about Captain up there?
04:26Yes, he's on manoeuvres all right.
04:28Oh, well, I think I'd better warn him.
04:31Excuse me, I'd better warn the captain.
04:33Here we go again.
04:36Oh!
04:41Do you mind, please? I'm trying to act.
04:48I told you before, you clod.
04:50I'm coming down there to deal with you.
04:52Oh, look at you. I can't seem to find anybody.
04:56You know, there's nobody in the army now
04:59wants to get at it and have a go.
05:01Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
05:04Ah, Bumptious. Wanted to see you down at headquarters.
05:07It's about the draft list.
05:09We need every able-bodied man.
05:12Sup?
05:16One day, if you were to serve in the army,
05:19I'd like to get you in my regiment.
05:21Oh, no, I'm not able-bodied, sir.
05:23I have this funny tremor running down my back.
05:26It's called fear.
05:29I don't doubt it, but if you were to serve in my cohort,
05:32I'd make a man of you, if that's even remotely possible.
05:36Ah!
05:38Cheeky devil!
05:40It's OK, they're parting, Sally.
05:43Make a man of me?
05:45The last person who said that to me was my first girlfriend.
05:48She damn near made a father out of me.
05:51As long as all these soldiers, they get me down these army traps.
05:54Honestly, they're so arrogant, aren't they?
05:56Honestly, I've never seen people with arrows so gant.
06:01Never mind. No hap, no hap.
06:03Let us get on with the prologue.
06:05Now, it came to pass...
06:07Whoa, whoa, in Christ's words!
06:10Oh, there she is.
06:12Senator Soothsayer.
06:14I wish they'd call her up.
06:16Not that she's got much left to fight for.
06:19I have gazed into the bottomless pit.
06:22Well... Three times have I gazed into it.
06:26Well, well, well...
06:30Well, she didn't miss it.
06:32Well, well, well, please explain to her.
06:35She's been drinking chloroform. I'm sorry.
06:38I see a terrible contest between Pompeii and the barbarians.
06:42Oh, really? Who's going to win? Now, get your coupons out.
06:45She's a good forecaster.
06:47Scoff not. Scoff not.
06:49Scoff not! I said scoff not!
06:51Do you think there's a scoffy break?
06:55I see you clearly.
06:57Do you?
06:58Lying cruelly slain on the battlefield in Gaul.
07:01In Gaul? Disembowelled!
07:03Disembowelled?
07:05Disembowelled!
07:07Drenched with blood!
07:09Oh, I know.
07:11The boughs are ringing for me and my Gaul.
07:16Oh, whimsicality upon whimsicality.
07:19Take heed of my words and beware!
07:22All right. Beware!
07:24Oh, silly old bag, honestly.
07:27Oh, she puts the mockers on me, she really does.
07:30I've been cruelly slain on the battlefield.
07:32I'm leaving the army. Oh, no, not me.
07:35When the men go off fighting, I stay at home, I tell you.
07:38Well, let's face it, some poor devil has to stay here
07:41and take care of the women, let's face it.
07:44You know, attend to their needs and so on.
07:47Not that I do much since sewing on.
07:50Not since I've lost my thimble.
07:53Nay, thrice nay.
07:55Now, the prologue.
07:57It came to pass...
07:59I can't do it! I can't do it!
08:01What's going on today?
08:03That was... That was Norseus, the master's young son.
08:06Excuse me, I'd better go and see what's wrong.
08:08Excuse me.
08:10Oh!
08:12What a shame.
08:14I'd better get him a handkerchief.
08:16I don't want him to wet himself.
08:19Now, there you are.
08:21Oh.
08:23There, there, there.
08:25Oh, there, there, there, there.
08:28Yes, so there, there, there.
08:30What's the matter, young master?
08:32I like you, but I can't do it.
08:35Pardon?
08:37I can't do it.
08:39Well, don't worry. Don't worry, you're not the only one who can't do it.
08:42No, no, no, you don't understand. What?
08:44They want to conscript me into the army.
08:47Well, you won't have a chance to do it then, will you?
08:50Thank you. I'm against war.
08:52I love my fellow man.
08:54Well, don't misunderstand him.
08:57Lurkio. What?
08:59Will you join my peace movement?
09:01Peace movement? Yes, my peace movement.
09:03You're going to fight against war? Yes.
09:05Gladly, I will, gladly.
09:07See, I've already written an ode to launch my campaign.
09:09An ode. Ah, how nice.
09:12I was wondering how we were going to work it in.
09:16Ode to peace.
09:18All their promises of peace
09:20till blows the marshal trumpet.
09:26But we don't want a piece of words.
09:29We want a piece...
09:34..of mind and body.
09:38I was lost for a rhyme there, I'm sorry.
09:40Yes, you'd be more sorry if you didn't.
09:43What we really need here is a lissa strata.
09:46This is ridiculous.
09:48Now, you can't find lissa strata to match with trumpet, can you?
09:51Oh, no, no, Lurkio.
09:53She was the famous Greek woman who stopped the men from going off to war.
09:56Oh, oh. Lissa strata.
09:58That lissa, yes. Oh, then you know how she did it.
10:00Yes. Oh, everybody knows how she...
10:03Did what?
10:05Well, she stopped the men from going to war by persuading their women to...
10:08Well? Oh, well, well, not to.
10:13Not to what?
10:15Not to let their men...
10:19Oh, Lurkio, I can't say it out loud.
10:21What, on this show?
10:24You can say anything now. Come on, don't be shy.
10:27Go on, have a bash.
10:29Well, not to...cohabit.
10:32Oh, he said it.
10:34That dreaded seven-letter word.
10:37Cohabit. It wasn't so bad, was it?
10:39I can't think all the fuss has been about...
10:41Oh, we'll never find a lissa strata here.
10:43But I don't care, they won't get me into the army.
10:45I'll kill myself before I lift a finger against my fellow man.
10:48Yes. I'll kill myself.
10:50Oh, he will too. He's very sensitive.
10:52Oh, shockingly sensitive.
10:54Do you know, the day he was born, he cried.
10:56He did. I'm sorry.
10:58No, he did. He cried his eyes out.
11:00Not for himself, for his mother. Poor soul.
11:03Ah, well, no, you see, this fool, this doctor,
11:06he was short-sighted, you see,
11:08and he held the mother up by her feet and smacked her butt.
11:11The boy's confused. Anyway, let's get on with the prologue.
11:14Now, it came to pass that this godpan said...
11:18Ah!
11:22No, he didn't. No.
11:24Oh, Captain, sir. Oh, if you've come to borrow a cup of sugar...
11:28I've been looking for you.
11:30Oh. Come here.
11:32Where? There. There. Yes, sir.
11:34I've got something for you. Oh, a prezzie.
11:37I thought you said that I might have the great pleasure
11:39of giving you these myself.
11:41Well, I'm awfully sorry. I haven't bought anything for you, you know.
11:44Look at them! Oh, yes. I hope they're not Christmas cards.
11:47I haven't got mine yet, have you?
11:49Now, lurky ode to report to headquarters
11:52at 0700 hours, Saturday.
11:55Oh! My call-up tablets.
12:00Precisely. And in my regiment.
12:03Yours? E-N-S-A cohort.
12:05E-N-S-A? Answer?
12:07Oh, that'll be all right.
12:09I should be able to wear my ballet shoes.
12:12Answer! East Naples Suicide Army.
12:23East Naples Suicide Army.
12:25Oh, dear.
12:27That old bank senator was right.
12:29Oh, dear.
12:31Lying and cruelly slain on the battlefield, disembowelled.
12:34I don't want my bowels moved.
12:38They're all right where they are.
12:40Oh, ye gods!
12:42Please, don't let me die!
12:44Don't let me die, ye gods!
12:47Wait a minute. Do you mind? I haven't finished yet.
12:50There's hours to go.
12:54Oh, ye gods! Don't let me die!
12:56Oh, I'm too pretty to die!
12:58Please, don't let me die!
13:00Oh, I ask you, I beseech you, don't let me die!
13:03Not to die!
13:07Where's the lob?
13:10Now, what do you want?
13:12Yes. I don't want to die!
13:14You don't want to die? I'm too young to die!
13:16Too young to die! We shall overcome!
13:18We will overcome! We shan't go to war!
13:20We won't go to war! Down with war!
13:22Down with war! Down, down, down with war!
13:25Down with war!
13:27What a shocking actor, isn't he?
13:29Hard to carry that scene complete. Did you see that?
13:32Now, where was we?
13:34Oh, I know. Yes, Lysistrata.
13:36Now, where can we find another Lysistrata?
13:39Because then the men wouldn't go off fighting
13:42if they didn't get their bit of cohabit first.
13:45And if they didn't go, I wouldn't have to go.
13:47But where can I find a Lysistrata? That's the point.
13:50I must think, think. You're right.
13:53No, you're wrong. No.
13:55I wonder. Yes, I could dress up myself, I suppose.
13:59Drag up. That's it. It's fashionable.
14:01Pretend to be Lysistrata.
14:03Oh, I could... Right, let's try it out, shall I? Yes.
14:06Now, all you women in the audience,
14:08if I were to preach no cohabiting, no cohabiting with men,
14:12would you support it?
14:13Yes!
14:15Yes, well, in that case, none of you need bother
14:17to come round to my dress room.
14:22Well, my dear, I thought that as we march out at dawn tomorrow,
14:26tonight we could have a few friends in and have a bit of a...
14:30Oh, really, Ludacris, I don't see that you carrying off
14:33every able-bodied man in the city anything to celebrate.
14:36Excuse me, butting in like this, General, it's rather urgent.
14:39What is it, Captain Bunches?
14:41It's the men, sir. They're refusing point-blank to march tomorrow.
14:44But they were dying to go.
14:46Not any longer.
14:48It seems, sir, that their women are refusing to...
14:51to kiss them goodbye.
14:53Refusing to kiss? Is that all?
14:56No, sir, but it's as far as I care to go in front of the ladies.
15:00Oh, I see.
15:02You mean that the women refuse to transport themselves
15:08from that bank of the river to this one.
15:11I'm afraid I don't quite follow, sir.
15:13Really, Ludacris, what he means is they won't come across.
15:20This is preposterous!
15:22We must put a stop to this sabotage.
15:24Bunches, call a meeting of the women in the marketplace.
15:27They're already there, sir.
15:29This Titicata woman is holding another meeting.
15:31Titicata?
15:34She's the woman behind all this trouble, sir.
15:37The woman Titicata.
15:45And so I say again to you, women of Pompey,
15:49I say again, don't give out to those men give in.
15:54Hooray!
15:56It's me. I'm not using a double, it's me.
15:59Now, tomorrow, the men wish to go off fighting, don't they, ladies?
16:03They want to go fighting.
16:05And tonight they will be looking for a little bit of incentive,
16:09as usual, won't they?
16:11But we won't give it to them.
16:13Tonight, ladies, is our D-Day.
16:16D for don't.
16:18D for don't! D for don't!
16:21D for don't! D for don't!
16:24Ladies, tonight, keep your doors bolted.
16:29Bolted.
16:31And for those of you who have no bolts...
16:36..encase yourselves with four pairs of comms...
16:41..and seal off all exits and entrances.
16:46Yes, remember this, when men and women are concerned,
16:50divided we win, united we fall.
16:58May I just say one thing more?
17:01Pompey for the cup.
17:07Are there... Pardon my fan.
17:09Are there any...
17:13Are there any questions?
17:15Yes, yes, ladies, ladies, ignore this treacherous woman.
17:19How dare you?
17:21Your men are fighting for you.
17:23Their weapons are primed, their armour burnished,
17:26their horses have had their oats.
17:28Yes, and they're the only ones who will.
17:31Oh, madam, I appeal to you.
17:34Oh, you don't, you know.
17:37Let us have that which we deserve. Let us have it.
17:40Yes, ladies, give it to them.
17:42Give what they deserve.
17:44Give them.
17:46That's it. Ladies, that's right.
17:48Keep up the good fight.
17:50Keep up the good fight and remember our slogans.
17:53No peace without peace.
17:55No peace without peace.
17:57Fan the bang-bang.
17:59Fan the bang-bang. Fan the bang-bang.
18:02Fan the bang-bang.
18:09Yes. No.
18:14Yes. No.
18:19Yes.
18:21Oh, no.
18:27Maria, open this door.
18:31This is your Lord and Master.
18:34Open the door or I'll break it down.
18:37Go away.
18:43Would you believe it?
18:45I never thought I'd live to see the day
18:47my mistress bolted her door, I must say.
18:50Well, last week she had a new sign put outside.
18:53Two beds, no waiting.
18:57Oh, Lurchio, this is terrible.
19:00The women of Pompey have gone mad.
19:02It's a complete lock-out.
19:04It is, Master, yes.
19:06It's all the fault of that wretched woman Titicata.
19:09Yes, well, now, look, if you'd only stop this fighting,
19:11give in to her demands, sign this peace treaty.
19:14I'm not finished with her.
19:16She's only a woman.
19:18I wouldn't say that, Master.
19:20Nonsense. Just a woman, like any other woman.
19:24Well, I think she's got something the others haven't got.
19:27Well, yes, an extra persuasiveness, perhaps.
19:31Yes.
19:32But basically, a woman with a woman's weaknesses.
19:37Weaknesses?
19:39Yes, this battle may yet be won.
19:44Oh, what's the old fool up to?
19:46There's a funny look on his face, did you notice that?
19:48Almost intelligent.
19:51I've never seen that there before.
19:53I think I'd better go down to the marketplace
19:55and organise another meeting for those women.
19:57The women, yes.
19:58Titicata, Titicata.
20:01Uh, young Master, have you seen her?
20:03Oh, Lurchio, what a wonderful person she is.
20:06Oh, she is really, yes.
20:08Oh, it was love at first sight.
20:12Pardon me?
20:14I worship her.
20:15Oh, you can't. I mean, she's...
20:17You see, I mean, she's not your type.
20:20I mean, she's a little old for you, isn't she?
20:23What does age matter, Lurchio? She could be 50.
20:26Do you mind?
20:28Would you believe 33, then?
20:31Oh, I don't care, Lurchio. I worship her.
20:33Titicata's the woman who'll make a man of me.
20:35Oh, I wouldn't bank on that, Master.
20:38Oh, Lurchio, I know what'll happen.
20:40I shall take her, and in the ecstasy of passion
20:43quench the ache of my bleeding heart.
20:46You'll bleed him, won't you, now?
20:49We want Titicata!
20:51We want Titicata!
20:53We want Titicata!
20:55We want Titicata!
20:57We want Titicata!
20:59Dear, dear sisters, I have some very sad news for you.
21:03I fear I must leave you.
21:07You see, owing to circumstances beyond my control,
21:10namely the possibility of my being unwittingly caught at,
21:15I... It would be embarrassing, perhaps,
21:18for me to have a longer linger here, you see?
21:23So I must transfer my activities somewhere else,
21:26to a land where the women are in ever more urgent need of help
21:32against their demanding menfolk.
21:36Australia.
21:41Titicata. Oh, yes, Lieutenant?
21:43I have been sent by General Ludacris Sextus
21:46to tell you that he exceeds to your demands.
21:49Ah!
21:52Come with me now. Thank you.
21:54And he will sign a treaty guaranteeing peace forever.
21:58Ah, it is victory!
22:01Do you mind, ladies first?
22:09Captain Bulxas, I cannot overemphasise
22:12the importance of this assignment.
22:14Now, dishonour Titicata,
22:17for if we can overcome her resistance...
22:20All other resistance will collapse, sir.
22:22Yes, but can you handle her?
22:25Oh, she's a very tough customer.
22:28My dear General, I've handled rougher stuff than her
22:31and succeeded. Ask your wife.
22:34Well, now, she's in your hands.
22:37Or at least I hope she soon will be.
22:43The lady is here, sir.
22:45Splendid, Lieutenant Precious. Show her in.
22:48Will you come in, miss? Oh, thank you, Lieutenant, so kind.
22:51Uh, General? General Ludacris?
22:54Where is the silly old fool, do you know?
22:57Now, it's... Oh! Oh, dear!
23:00Captain! Sorry, my dear. Did I startle you?
23:04Oh, not at all, not at all.
23:06Oh!
23:07LAUGHTER
23:10You never give up, sir.
23:12Well, you see...
23:15Would you mind shutting your eyes?
23:17But, um, this usually happens if I move too quickly.
23:22If you'll excuse me a moment.
23:25Here we are, little pickings again.
23:30Yes, now, Captain, I want to see the General.
23:33You see, I want him to sign a peace treaty.
23:36That's right, my dear, I know that.
23:38But you don't think that he would do it for nothing, do you?
23:42Oh, no, no, mon capitaine, no, no.
23:45Mon capitaine? Spanish.
23:48Single-breasted yobbo, yes.
23:52LAUGHTER
23:54Captain, if you would tell the General to accede to our demands,
23:59the women would, um, cohabit again.
24:02Oh, that's splendid.
24:03All we have to decide is which comes first,
24:06a spot of signing or a spot of cohabiting.
24:10Oh, yes, oh, yes.
24:13Oh, I don't like the look of this, I don't like the look of this.
24:17Oh, yes.
24:19Oh, yes.
24:21What's he done that for? He hasn't got a nosebleed, has he?
24:25LAUGHTER
24:27Now, Captain, you're not on manoeuvres now, you know.
24:30Actually, old girl, I think it's time we got a little chummy over a glass.
24:34A little drinky-winky.
24:36Drinky, drinky little drinky-winky.
24:38Dirty old devil, isn't he?
24:40Oh, I know what happens to these young girls.
24:42What? A locked door, a little drinky, a nuzzle around the ear,
24:46a ruzzle around the ear, a ruzzle around the ear, oh, same thing,
24:50and bang, frying tonight.
24:53Oh, good!
24:55Yeah!
24:57LAUGHTER
25:00I'll come alongside you.
25:02Look, look, look.
25:04Damn things.
25:06You're a burden.
25:08I tell you what, why don't we sit down quite calmly and discuss,
25:12discuss the pros and cons?
25:14Oh, no, I never discuss other women.
25:16Pros and cons!
25:18That's very good.
25:20Excuse me, look, you don't have to explain all the gags,
25:22they're not stupid, you know.
25:24May I recline here? Thank you so much.
25:26That's better.
25:28Drinky-winkies!
25:30There we are now.
25:32Ah, little drinkies!
25:34LAUGHTER
25:41I see, mother and child.
25:43I see.
25:45Is this teensy-weensy tot for me?
25:47Just for you.
25:49Yes, you wouldn't be trying to get me tiddly,
25:51but would you by any chance?
25:53What would you do if I did?
25:55I'm not telling you, saucy.
25:57I won't.
25:59Please tell me.
26:01All right, I'll tell you.
26:03Now, if I drink this lot, I shall be up and down all night.
26:06Really?
26:08Yes, powdering me nose.
26:10Oh, well, here's to us, bottoms up.
26:12I'll be up all night.
26:14Oh, thank you so much.
26:16You know... What?
26:18You are an exciting woman.
26:20Am I? I suppose I've been told that, yes.
26:22My dear Titty Carter. Yes.
26:24Or may I just call you Titty?
26:26No, you may not.
26:28Oh, I shall have to shorten your name, Bumshus.
26:33My dear, there's no need to be suspicious of me,
26:35I've nothing to hide.
26:37Oh, no, but I have.
26:39You know... What?
26:41Now, now, do you mind?
26:43Just get out of here.
26:45Get out! Get out of here!
26:47Oh, blimey.
26:49It's like cohabiting with an octopus, isn't it?
26:51Poor little plum. Eh?
26:53My little plum. Yes, well, I'm not going to be picked tonight.
26:56I'm not ripe.
26:58I'm mad about you. Get away.
27:00Don't be naughty. Let me love you. No, I won't.
27:02I know what you're going to do. You're making a mistake.
27:04You're not the same as any other girl. No.
27:06Oh, dear. No, please.
27:08I won't deny it. You will. Get out!
27:10Get out of here!
27:27I've been robbed.
27:35You naughty little cheat, you.
27:37Keep that as a souvenir.
27:39This won't keep me away from you.
27:41Look, Captain, if you'll be a good boy,
27:43I'll give her the other one to play with.
27:45There's the set. Make a booby trap.
27:49Now, get away. You sorceress.
27:51Come here. No, no, don't.
27:53Do as I want and I've got a little surprise for you.
27:55Yes, if I do what you want,
27:57I'll have a hell of a surprise for you.
27:59Of course I have. Get the vase.
28:01Get the vase!
28:04Ah, precious.
28:06It's working, it's working.
28:08Ludacris, what's going on here?
28:10I'll tell you what's going on.
28:12Your champion Titty Carter is in that room with Captain Bumptious.
28:16I don't believe it. Listen.
28:18Oh, no, don't. No, please, don't, don't.
28:27Did you achieve your objective?
28:30Don't talk of it. We must surrender.
28:32Sign the treaty! Sign the treaty!
28:39Ah, well, there you are, you see.
28:41That is how we stopped the men fighting.
28:44But things didn't work out the way we hoped
28:47because soon after there was yet another war.
28:50Would you believe it? Yet another war.
28:52They all went off fighting about two weeks ago.
28:55I think they're coming back. They're coming back now.
28:58Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter!
29:01Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter! Sinister Dexter!
29:07Liz, you must admit, it's a very moving show.
29:11Well, who's coming else?
29:13Ah, they're back. Welcome home.
29:16How went the war?
29:18Never mind that. First things first.
29:23I'll be out for you in a moment.
29:25Ladies, dismiss!
29:29How wonderful.
29:31Oh, isn't it marvellous?
29:33Look at them! Look at them! Didn't Mara say the women?
29:36Look! Wait! Don't rush! Wait!
29:39Good graces, the women, they're worse than the men, aren't they?
29:41They really are. The women, they're worse than the men.
29:43But look at me, you see, as usual, left all alone.
29:46It is a shame.
29:48If only someone would come back from the war for me.
29:52Yoo-hoo!
29:54Oh! Salute her!
29:58APPLAUSE
30:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE