Countdown | Thursday 29th September 2016 | Episode 6436
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TVTranscript
00:00This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:31Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown studio
00:34on the very day that, way back in 1716,
00:37the original Portland-built lighthouses,
00:39yes, more than one, two, in fact, were lit up for the first time,
00:44positioned on the southernmost corner of Dorset,
00:48one of the most treacherous lengths of coastline,
00:52famous for many, many shipwrecks.
00:54And that's exactly why they erected these lighthouses back in 1716,
00:59which, in fact, were replaced, I think, then in 1906.
01:03You're a seaside girl. Yep.
01:06Have you got rough seas up in...
01:08The south end on sea on the estuary, no. It's pretty safe.
01:11But there's a lovely coastline I went over this summer,
01:14I went to Antigua, and it's quite often the disasters
01:16because people are taking selfies, aren't they,
01:18and just kind of stumble off the back.
01:20But there's a beautiful place called Shirley Heights,
01:22and you can see Nelson's Dockyard, where Nelson had...
01:25He lived there for a few years when he was in Antigua,
01:27and you can see all the way to Montserrat and Guadeloupe.
01:30As the sun goes down, it was a beautiful place.
01:32And you can go right to the edge and take a picture,
01:34but obviously you've got to respect the sea, that's for sure.
01:36Absolutely. You've got to respect it indeed.
01:38Now, Chris is here. He had a good win yesterday,
01:42a self-employed builder from Sandestead in South Croydon.
01:45Good win, good win.
01:47And you're up against, Chris, Mark Gurley,
01:50an IT business analyst from Hillsborough.
01:52You love gigs, discovering new music.
01:55What about learning to play?
01:58I did treat myself to an electric guitar a few years ago.
02:02Oh, dear.
02:03And my partner got me some lessons for Christmas.
02:06Yeah.
02:07And I got about halfway through and just came to the conclusion
02:10I do not have a musical bone in my body,
02:12so it just started looking pretty now.
02:14Well done.
02:15Mark Gurley, Chris Sinclair, welcome to Countdown.
02:23And over the corner, Susie, of course,
02:25joined once again by the wonderful Pam Ayres,
02:28poet, writer, broadcaster, comedian, comedienne,
02:32and no stranger to that dictionary corner.
02:35Welcome, Pam.
02:36Thank you, Nick. It's very nice to be back.
02:38Now then, Chris, shall we have a letters game?
02:41Hi, Rachel. Can I start with a consonant, please?
02:44Thank you. Kick off with Z.
02:46Good start.
02:48And another, please.
02:50R
02:52And a third.
02:54G
02:56And a vowel, please.
02:58A
02:59And another.
03:00I
03:02And another.
03:03E
03:06And a consonant, please.
03:08S
03:11A vowel.
03:13U
03:15And a final consonant, please.
03:17And a final B.
03:19And here's the Countdown clock.
03:40CLOCK TICKS
03:52Yes, Chris?
03:53Six.
03:54A six. Mark?
03:56Six.
03:57Chris?
03:58Grazes.
03:59And Mark?
04:00Borges.
04:02Now, what have we got, Pam?
04:05Well, we've got grazes as well.
04:09We've also got seven letters, which is gauzier.
04:13As in, my frock is gauzier than your frock.
04:16So it should be.
04:18Yeah, quite so.
04:20Susie?
04:21Yes, thin and translucent.
04:23Dictionary definition of gauzy.
04:25And that will take us to seven.
04:26Very good. Well done. Thank you.
04:28Now then, Mark, how about a letters game?
04:31Hi, Rachel. Hi, Mark.
04:33Start with a consonant, please.
04:34Thank you. Start with N.
04:36And another.
04:38L.
04:39And another.
04:41F.
04:43And a vowel.
04:45O.
04:46And another.
04:47A.
04:49And a consonant.
04:51S.
04:53And a consonant.
04:55R.
04:57And a consonant.
05:00S.
05:01And a vowel.
05:02And the last one.
05:04O.
05:05Countdown.
05:06One, two, three, four.
05:36Yes, Mark?
05:38Six again.
05:39And Chris?
05:41Try seven.
05:43All right. Mark?
05:44Salons.
05:46Now then, saloons.
05:48Yes, very, very good. Well done.
05:51Excellent.
05:52Yeah, pretty much the same thing.
05:54Now, Pam?
05:55Yes, we did have saloons,
05:58and we have also got sonars.
06:01But Susie will have to explain what it is exactly.
06:04All right. Susie?
06:05Yes, in the countable sense, it's an apparatus used in sonar.
06:09It's sonar equipment, essentially, and you can put the S on.
06:12So that would give us a six, but a saloon's great for seven.
06:15So, 13 to six. Mark on six.
06:18And it's Chris's numbers game. Chris?
06:20Could I have the inverted T, please?
06:22You can indeed. Thank you, Chris.
06:23One from the top row and five little ones.
06:26And the five smalls are four, five, nine, eight,
06:32and three, and the big one, 50.
06:35And the target, 151.
06:37151.
07:02Yes, Chris. 151.
07:12Thank you. Mark?
07:13151.
07:14There we go. Let's do it. Chris?
07:1650 times three...
07:18150.
07:19Nine minus eight for the one.
07:20Yeah, we can all do that in our heads.
07:21And Mark?
07:2250 times three, five minus four.
07:24Lovely.
07:25There we go. Well done. All right.
07:27Well, it's time for our first Tea Time teaser, which is Taunt Her.
07:32And the clue...
07:33She's obsessed with the planet she lives on and this plant also.
07:36She's obsessed with the planet she lives on and this plant also.
07:41MUSIC
07:56Welcome back. I left you with a clue.
07:58She's obsessed with the planet she lives on and this plant also.
08:02And the answer is earth nut, Susie. Earth nut.
08:06It's a plant, actually, of the parsley family.
08:09It has a tuber which is edible
08:11and I think in Scotland it's used to flavour whiskey.
08:14You will find it in woodland and acid pasture.
08:17Thank you. Thank you very much.
08:1923 to 16. Mark on 16 and it's Mark's letters game.
08:23Now then, Mark.
08:24Start with a consonant, please, Richard.
08:26Thank you, Mark.
08:27R
08:29And another?
08:31D
08:33And another?
08:35H
08:36And a vowel?
08:38I
08:39And another?
08:40A
08:41And another?
08:43E
08:44And a consonant?
08:46T
08:48And a consonant?
08:50P
08:52And a final vowel, please?
08:55And the last one?
08:57I
08:58Stand by.
09:00MUSIC
09:09MUSIC CONTINUES
09:31Mark.
09:33I'm going to risk an eight.
09:35An eight. Very good. Chris?
09:37Pirated.
09:39Now then, Mark.
09:40Head trip.
09:42Unfortunately, it's hyphenated.
09:44It has a hyphen in it. I'm so sorry.
09:46It's very, very bad luck.
09:48Now, what has the corner got?
09:50Susie and Pam, what have you conjured up from that?
09:53Pit head.
09:54Pit head.
09:55Which is a seven, yeah.
09:56Very good.
09:5730 to 16.
09:58Now then, Chris. Letters game.
10:00A consonant, please.
10:01Thank you, Chris.
10:02D
10:03And a vowel, please?
10:05E
10:06A consonant?
10:08N
10:10And a consonant?
10:12J
10:14And a consonant?
10:16S
10:18And a vowel?
10:20O
10:22Another vowel?
10:24U
10:26A consonant?
10:29R
10:31And a vowel, please?
10:33And the last one?
10:35A
10:36Stand by.
11:06Yes, Chris?
11:09Eight.
11:10An eight, Mark?
11:11Eight.
11:12Chris?
11:13Adjourns.
11:14And?
11:15Same word.
11:16You're both adjourning.
11:17APPLAUSE
11:18Any more?
11:19Any more adjournments over there?
11:22Yes, we have aroused.
11:25Oh, good.
11:27Anything else?
11:28With a smirk.
11:30Susie?
11:31No, adjourned is excellent. Very good.
11:33Well done. And thank you, Pam, for that.
11:35All right, 38 plays 24.
11:37And, Mark, it's numbers time for you.
11:39I'll have two large and four small, please.
11:41Thank you, Mark.
11:42Two from the top, four from not the top.
11:44And this round, the little ones are
11:467, 9, 1, 5
11:50and the large ones, 100 and 50.
11:53And the target...
11:55Oh, dear.
11:57I don't even want to say it. 500.
12:00500?
12:02500.
12:33Well, let's do it, Mark.
12:35500.
12:36And?
12:37500.
12:38And, Mark?
12:405 x 100.
12:41That's it.
12:42Chris?
12:435 x 1.
12:44No, I'm not having it.
12:45LAUGHTER
12:47All right.
12:48Thank you very much. 48 plays 34.
12:50And we turn now to Pam.
12:52And, Pam, it's always a treat to have you here.
12:55To hear your poetry. What have you got for us today?
12:57Well, because we've all been thinking about sport
12:59with the Olympics this year,
13:01I thought I would do a sporty one.
13:03Not that I am sporty at all,
13:05but one of our sons, we've got two sons,
13:08was chosen for the football team at school
13:11when he was ten years old.
13:13And this was a great step forward for our family
13:15who'd never achieved anything.
13:17And the first time they played an away match,
13:19my husband and I went to watch
13:21and they were beaten 13-0.
13:24So, when I came home from the terrible experience,
13:28I wrote this.
13:30Oh, the joy, it was unbounded.
13:33What a thrill.
13:34Selected for the team.
13:36I see him still.
13:38At ten years old, what style and grace.
13:41Those knobbly knees, that shining face.
13:45I felt as if I'd won the place.
13:4813-0.
13:50Our weaknesses were speedily revealed.
13:53The other team, they swaggered round the field.
13:57Oh, my teeth, I had to grit them.
13:59If a dog, I'd only bit him.
14:02Our side never knew what hit them.
14:0513-0.
14:07The teacher bellowed insults and abuse,
14:10but even his support was not much use.
14:13It was a fate so mean and cruel,
14:16no-one now was looking cool.
14:19The laughing stock of all the school at 13-0.
14:24The brand-new shin protectors brought no luck.
14:28The boy done bad, the striker never struck.
14:32The ignominy and the shame to have missed the chance of fame
14:36and there was no-one else to blame for 13-0.
14:41It was so difficult to know just what to say
14:45as they all trooped off the pitch at close of play.
14:49You couldn't say, phew, that was close.
14:52You were pipped right at the post.
14:55Why don't we all propose a toast, not to 13-0?
15:00The score to shameful jeering was announced.
15:04Our lads defeated, absolutely trounced.
15:09But there's one thing that's for sure.
15:11Although the crowds, they didn't roar.
15:14Your mother loves you even more at 13-0.
15:19APPLAUSE
15:25Oh, dear, poor boy, poor mum. Lovely.
15:2948-34. Chris in the lead and it's Chris's letters game now. Chris.
15:33Consonant, please. Thank you, Chris.
15:35D
15:37And another.
15:39S
15:40And another.
15:42N
15:44And another.
15:46S
15:48Vowel, please.
15:50E
15:51And another.
15:53O
15:55Another.
15:57I
15:59Consonant.
16:01R
16:03And a vowel, please.
16:05And the last one.
16:07E
16:08Stand by.
16:23B
16:41Yes, Chris?
16:42Just a six.
16:44A six. Mark?
16:45Seven.
16:47Chris?
16:48Denser.
16:49Now then, Mark.
16:50Dossier.
16:52Yes, very good.
16:53Oh, that's a good one. Indeed.
16:55Excellent.
16:56The dossier, yes.
16:58Now, Pam?
16:59We've got desires.
17:01Yes.
17:02She said, with another smirk.
17:05What else has he got?
17:07And endorses.
17:09And endorses.
17:11Yes.
17:12I have to keep an eye on you, Pam.
17:14There we go. 48 plays 41. Mark, your letters game.
17:18Start with a consonant, please, Rachel. Thank you, Mark.
17:20L
17:21And a vowel.
17:23O
17:24And another one.
17:26E
17:27And a consonant.
17:30T
17:31And another.
17:33H
17:34And another.
17:36W
17:38And a vowel.
17:40I
17:42And a consonant.
17:45N
17:47And a final consonant.
17:49And final T.
17:51Countdown.
18:20MUSIC STOPS
18:23Mark?
18:25Seven.
18:26Chris?
18:27It's five.
18:28Your five?
18:29Hotel.
18:30Now then, Mark.
18:31I'm hoping I've spelt this right. It's whittle with an itch.
18:35Yes, it's absolutely fine, yes, to whittle down.
18:38You whittle a stick?
18:40Would you whittle a stick?
18:41You can whittle a stick, yes.
18:43It's basically to eat away at something, isn't it?
18:45To whittle something down.
18:46Whittling away the 13 nil.
18:48Yes.
18:49Some chance.
18:50Some chance.
18:51What have we got there, Pam?
18:52I've got neolith.
18:54Wow.
18:55Yes, as in I was served by a neolith in a shop.
18:58I don't know if you can say that.
19:00But anyway, neolith, which is seven.
19:03Excellent. And Susie?
19:05Yes, stone implement used during the later Stone Age.
19:08That's a neolith.
19:09Oh, is it? I thought it was a person.
19:12Figuratively, I can see somebody from the Stone Age.
19:16All right.
19:17Hotline and Town, quite a few sevens there.
19:21You're welcome.
19:22All right.
19:2348 all. We've got a fight on.
19:25And it's Chris's numbers game now.
19:27I'm going to go for the inverted T again, please.
19:29Thank you, Chris.
19:30One from the top again and five little ones.
19:32And this time they are...
19:34four,
19:35three,
19:36six,
19:37ten,
19:39another three and the big one, 100.
19:42And the target to reach...
19:43Oh, dear, they're easy today.
19:45299.
19:47299. Another stiff one.
20:16HE SIGHS
20:18Now then, Chris.
20:19299.
20:20Thank you. Mark?
20:21299.
20:22Not always like this, you know. Chris?
20:24Three times 100, take the four and add the three.
20:26No, I quit, I'm not doing this.
20:28Mark? Yes?
20:29There we go. All right.
20:31All right.
20:3258 all.
20:3358 all.
20:34Let's have a tea time teaser to remove the tension, shall we?
20:37It's B major and the clue...
20:39It's not a minor celebration, quite the opposite.
20:41It's not a minor celebration.
20:43It's not a minor celebration, quite the opposite.
20:45It's not a minor celebration, quite the opposite.
20:48BELL RINGS
20:58APPLAUSE
21:05Welcome back. I left with a clue.
21:07It's not a minor celebration, quite the opposite.
21:09In fact, it's a jamboree.
21:11Is that an Indian word, jamboree? I'm guessing.
21:14I've just been doing a little bit of research, actually,
21:16and we don't know.
21:17The jury is out as to where it comes from,
21:19but it was originally US slang.
21:21Was it? In the mid-1800s, yes.
21:23Jamboree. Jamboree.
21:25All right. Thank you.
21:2658 all. Mark?
21:28HE SIGHS
21:29Let's go.
21:31Consonant, please. Thank you, Mark.
21:33M
21:35And an R.
21:37C
21:39And a vowel.
21:41U
21:43And another.
21:45A
21:47And a consonant.
21:49R
21:51And another.
21:53V
21:55And another.
21:57L
21:59And a vowel.
22:01E
22:03And another vowel, please.
22:05And lastly, I.
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