Abigail Hauschild - 1: 40 Am

'I'm good. I swear'
I repeat more often than I probably should
Maybe it's not as much of a red flag
A little more believable than 'I'm fine.'
And I am…
Fine that is
I'm not sinking into a black hole of depression
I can still appreciate sunny days
And the funny way the squirrel's dance in the morning
I'm still wearing rose-colored glasses
Dreaming of future simple stupid moments
When I get to make you smile without feeling guilty
And listen to you rant about your silly stupid day
While that little twitch in your jaw makes me crazy
I guess the only problem is this sappy stupid ache
That won't leave my heart or my head since we said goodbye

And I cry sometimes….I do
But not all the time so I guess that's okay
And I'm living
I haven't stopped living and I guess that's enough
But I'm still waiting
Endlessly... Ceaselessly... Perpetually waiting!
For the proverbial stars to align
For this mystical right time
For a chance to be with you
The way that I've wanted to
Since the first time that I said I love you

I feel a little like sleeping beauty
Preserved
Safe
Powerless
As the story unfolds around me
But I'd rather be Kiara
Fearless
Sure
Abandoned
To a wild-hearted love

But I'll keep waiting
Trying to contain the tides of my emotion
Push them in the background
Keep my calm unaffected exterior
Put my love to sleep as well as I can
If showing you how much I care
Cheats us out of the future we're dreaming of
I'll be a Mona Lisa mystery
Even you can't read
I don't understand why it has to be so hard
But you are worth it
I've noticed happy endings
Rarely seem to have happy middles
So maybe this really is how it's meant to be
If we are meant to be that is...
And maybe the next 'I'm good'
will be more than half true\n\nAbigail Hauschild

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/1-40-am/