Guest Booker #09 Jim Cornette Disc 1 and 2 Part 2

Samuel Fly

This remarkable edition of the Guest Booker series was voted one of the best DVDs of 2009 in the Wrestling Observer when released on DVD, and now for the first time you can get it On Demand!  What could have been remembered as pro wrestling’s most compelling storyline, has come to be known as the sport’s biggest blown opportunity. The WCW Invasion angle fell short of expectations and the wrestling world watched WWE swallow WCW without fanfare.  Jim Cornette has a thing or twenty to say about that! One of wrestling’s most outspoken and creative minds attacks this edition of Guest Booker with unmatched vigor in this nearly 3 hour show. Watch Jim turn the tepid Invasion into a flaming hot angle as he books in remarkable detail with extensive explanation for each move.

Transcript

00:00:00As long as they don't no-show or refuse to do a job or be convicted of a crime of moral

00:00:06turpitude or whatever, you know, fuck, he's got to pay everybody.

00:00:11So now he's got all this shit going out and no way to really make any money off of it

00:00:15without having a mutiny or an incident.

00:00:19He could be civilly liable or criminal, whatever.

00:00:23We're going to keep them separate, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:26Friday night will be RAW with the WWF roster.

00:00:30Thursday night will be Nitro with the WCW roster with slight alterations for the immediate

00:00:39future.

00:00:41Now you said because, see, remember WCW for a year and a half the ratings had been dropping

00:00:47like a turd in a punch bowl.

00:00:49Talent had been back and forth and everything was up in the air and Bischoff ran the place

00:00:54like a fucking Chinese fire drill and the fans had run off and the old real wrestling

00:01:00that the southern people knew had gone away and they were trying to copy Vince and everything

00:01:05so you've got to rehab the promotion.

00:01:07So now you've given the people a reason to start watching again, see what's going to

00:01:11happen.

00:01:12And then you actually do, this is the perfect opportunity, all of a sudden all the silly

00:01:19skits get geared back.

00:01:21Because now everybody's, all the talent's in a more serious frame of mind.

00:01:25At the same time there's no competition.

00:01:27You don't need to hot shot.

00:01:29You're competing against yourself.

00:01:31You don't need to hot shot.

00:01:32You don't need to have an angle every 15 minutes or fear somebody's going to switch the channel.

00:01:36You can start developing your talent.

00:01:38You can start developing the logic of your universe.

00:01:41WWF goes along kind of like, well not even kind of like it was.

00:01:45You take out all the silliness, all the skits.

00:01:50If I was booking it's what I'd do.

00:01:52You make it more of a sports based presentation again.

00:01:58Instead of guys in the locker room with a camera on them and they're plotting a bank

00:02:02robbery, wrestlers are the worst criminals in the world.

00:02:05They plot illegal tactics, there's a goddamn national television camera.

00:02:10You have an announcer interviewing guys about their matches or here's a newcomer, we're

00:02:15going to get him over.

00:02:16It's like a sports program because you want to be a little more serious.

00:02:20Over at WCW you're doing the same thing but also you're rehabbing WCW as a promotion in

00:02:26the eyes of its viewers.

00:02:28We're not going to drop things and leave you hanging.

00:02:30We're not going to switch belts willy nilly.

00:02:32We're not going to have celebrities come in here and beat people for titles.

00:02:35We're not going to have fucking ridiculous stipulation matches.

00:02:38We're going to give you action and excitement with our top athletes.

00:02:42People are going to win and lose.

00:02:43Also all the WCW wrestlers are coming out and saying, we are going to make sure this

00:02:48is the highest rated wrestling program on the air, that it's the most exciting wrestling

00:02:53program on the air because if we can't kick their asses in the ring, we're going to kick

00:02:57them into ratings.

00:02:58We're going to have more people watching our show than watching their show.

00:03:01WWF guys are saying the same thing.

00:03:03Fuck these fucking local yokel minor leaguers.

00:03:06We're still the WWF, we're the industry leader.

00:03:09We're going to gear it up a notch.

00:03:11Everybody's serious.

00:03:12Everybody's on their game and you have two separate wrestling promotions, both doing

00:03:18the best they can to get a little credibility, to bring excitement, to get their talent positioned,

00:03:24to get everything that they need in order to move forward so both programs prosper.

00:03:30Both promotions hopefully, theoretically succeed individually, but, but, you want to talk about

00:03:39talent or do you want to talk about, no, keep going where you're going.

00:03:43How long are you going to keep it separate?

00:03:44Okay, well see now also, if each promotion has a monthly pay-per-view, well then you're

00:03:50competing against yourself again because you're expecting people to pay $30 or $40 twice a

00:03:56month to see shit that you own, so you're diluting your pie, you know, or whatever.

00:04:02What kind of pie?

00:04:03Have you got peach pie?

00:04:04You got, ah, smell?

00:04:07So you start alternating.

00:04:09Let's say May is the WCW pay-per-view, June is WWF King of the Ring, July is WCW, August

00:04:14is SummerSlam WWE.

00:04:16So the first thing you do, now, oh bear in mind, I'm sorry, I tell a lie, Vince would

00:04:26also have announced on that first night, if anybody has any problem, or maybe the second

00:04:33week, if anybody has any problem with what I'm doing and wants to fucking jump ship,

00:04:37go to the other side, more power to you, tells all his boys at the WWF, guess who steps

00:04:41up and says, you know what, I don't like what you're doing, I don't like what you're saying,

00:04:45I want to go over there, Chris Benoit.

00:04:48And before we go any further, and this is totally serious, you know, if everybody says,

00:04:54well why is he talking about Chris Benoit, you know, Chris Benoit, I considered, I wasn't

00:04:59close to him, but we were always friendly, he was always great to me, I knew him on and

00:05:03off for almost 15 years, and I'm in the unique position also of, you know, he killed somebody

00:05:09that I've known for 20 years, and who was married to a guy that I've known for 25 years,

00:05:15and who was not only a friend of mine, but also a teacher, so I'm going to act like that

00:05:21never happened, never will happen, in this world, in this fantasy universe that we've

00:05:25got here, Chris Benoit was the same person that we always knew him to be, the greatest

00:05:29kid on the planet earth, and he never went crazy, okay?

00:05:33Chris Benoit, back to our entertainment, Chris Benoit skips over, and Vince is hot about

00:05:39it, so on the first WCW pay-per-view, he decides, I'm going to send somebody over there, because

00:05:48he can book the matches, because he owns the promotions, I'm going to send somebody over

00:05:52there to teach Chris Benoit a lesson, and that would be William Regal, because everybody

00:06:00who knows enough to know what's going on knows that Chris Benoit is a tough son of a bitch,

00:06:04and William Regal, the Snake Pit, England, the Billy Robinson fucking lineage, etc, etc,

00:06:10these guys are going to have it out, because William Regal, his job may depend on teaching

00:06:16Mr. Benoit a lesson.

00:06:19Now what you do is you sit down with, I sit down as booker, with both those guys, and

00:06:24say, look, here's what we need to do, you guys, and by the way, this is a pay-in proposition,

00:06:29you're not getting your wrestling pay-off, even if it's pay-per-view, WCW pay-per-view,

00:06:32who knows what it's going to do, we agree on a price, whether it's $20,000 a piece,

00:06:37or whatever the fuck it is, because it's not like Vince is short on fucking money, he just

00:06:41didn't start a football league that week, so he's got some extra cash laying around.

00:06:48You have a gentleman's agreement, no straight punches to the teeth or to the nose, you're

00:06:53not going for each other's balls, nobody's going to fish hook, whatever, but you are

00:06:57going to have a fight and work it.

00:07:00Shit's going to land, and tell me neither one of these guys has done this before or

00:07:04would do it, especially for big money, I'm not trying to be some fucking prick here telling

00:07:09guys to go out and fight and I'm not, I'm saying we're making a business proposition,

00:07:13will you do this?

00:07:14If you say no, then I'll find somebody else that's not going to fucking affect your job,

00:07:19but I think they're perfect for it.

00:07:21They're going to get a payoff for getting out of control, and when they get in the ring

00:07:27first, they're going to start wrestling, and it's going to be more or less, not really

00:07:31an MMA match, because that has some rules, but it's going to be the old-fashioned fucking

00:07:37two guys in the gym going to settle this, which gets out of hand and somebody starts

00:07:41throwing a few fists, and pretty soon you've got somebody with an eye busted open, and

00:07:45they're bleeding, and somebody's got a black eye, and it gets out of hand to the point

00:07:49where the referee, fuck this, calls for the bell for no apparent reason, and some other

00:07:56referees and maybe even security, and I'm not talking about the fucking t-shirts, security

00:08:01couldn't keep security at goddamn kindergarten, I'm talking about risks.

00:08:06This is a serious situation, you make it look like that these guys have gone off, they are

00:08:10swinging and throwing, and somebody's going to get hurt, and you're pulling both of them

00:08:13off of each other, and this got completely out of fucking hand, and several people had

00:08:18to get involved and break it up, and people are shocked, and you go to the long fucking

00:08:23on-camera, because you get off of it before it's even done, it's not like they pull them

00:08:28apart, and they go back together, and pull them apart again, and dwell on it, and the

00:08:31announcer is saying, oh my god, it's breaking down, no, it's like the shit happens, people

00:08:35hit the ring, and all of a sudden you're watching the announcer go, well, coming up later on

00:08:40ladies and gentlemen, we've got the fucking end of the tag team title tournament, or whatever,

00:08:46right?

00:08:47Get off of it.

00:08:48People are going to sit there and go, fuck, okay, now we get it.

00:08:52These motherfuckers, when they fucking invade each other's area, their temper's flaring,

00:08:57and shit's going to take place, and then Benoit goes back to WCW Nitro the next week, and

00:09:02his fucking eye's out to here, and he's got the fucking stitches, and Regal on Raw, whatever,

00:09:08and shit, okay, now, then maybe on Nitro, wait, maybe Arn Anderson now, and see Arn

00:09:16Anderson, because he can't wrestle, but Arn Anderson's not a TV commentator, I'm not saying

00:09:21he couldn't do it, I'm saying that's a waste of his talents, as one of the great workers

00:09:25in the history of the business, and one of the great talkers in the history of the business,

00:09:29he becomes a spokesman for some of the wrestlers, and potentially, and later on, Chris Benoit's

00:09:36personal manager, because that's one thing poor Chris couldn't do, couldn't promo.

00:09:42He brings Chris Benoit, and he says, look at what this has done to this man's face,

00:09:46this whole conflict, a bunch of promoters fighting with each other over millions of

00:09:52dollars, and this kid ends up the worst for it.

00:09:56Well, that's bullshit.

00:09:57Wrestlers have a code, promoters have no code.

00:10:00Promoters would stab their mothers in the back and have them arrested for carrying a

00:10:03concealed weapon, but wrestlers have a code, a professional code.

00:10:08You might not like the guy you're in the ring with, but you know he's got family to feed,

00:10:12he's got bills to pay, and you don't injure him, you don't hurt him to where he can't

00:10:16work and he can't do that, and as far as we're concerned, their side broke the code, right?

00:10:22And we've established that, and we're not swearing revenge because there is no rematch.

00:10:25What, are we going to book them again after they just had a fucking shoot?

00:10:29No!

00:10:30Because it's real!

00:10:32So Arnn explains the wrestlers' code, Regal, their side broke it, but on Raw, Vince has

00:10:39demanded that Eric Bischoff, the general manager of WCW, and Ric Flair, who has now, over the

00:10:45past several weeks, come out as sort of the leader of the WCW union of wrestlers, because

00:10:51they now don't trust Bischoff, and they won't deal with Bischoff unless they've got Flair

00:10:56there to speak for them.

00:10:58He demands their presence on Raw to discuss this outrageous conduct of their WCW athlete,

00:11:05Chris Benoit, in trying to injure, purposely, when of course it was the other way around.

00:11:12So anyway, Bischoff, as the general manager of WCW, and Flair as the representative of

00:11:17the wrestlers, have been called to Raw by Vince McMahon to answer the charges about

00:11:21this horrible situation that's going on, where Regal and Benoit got out of control, and Benoit

00:11:27was WCW's representative, but obviously was being unprofessional, so they're there, and

00:11:31they're going to air this out in the ring, because Vince is hot.

00:11:35And Flair comes out and says, he immediately knows that Vince is trying to make him look

00:11:41bad, but the people that saw it know what happened, and he's not going to put up for

00:11:47anybody chastising any of his wrestlers, because he was defending himself.

00:11:51And basically, we started getting a little creative here, but we still have to keep people

00:11:57believing that this could actually happen.

00:11:59So Vince says, okay, well, I'll tell you what, Flair, since you're here, I don't know whether

00:12:04Mr. Bischoff informed you, no, he didn't inform you, well, that you're wrestling tonight on

00:12:09Raw.

00:12:10Okay, yeah, we've picked up a new talent, we want to test him out against an old pro

00:12:16and see what he's got.

00:12:18Because the timing of this is just about right, I can't remember if this guy was signed in

00:12:21or if he came in maybe a couple months later to OVW, but the point is, I believe he was

00:12:25in OVW at the time, so he would have been able to be pulled to Raw.

00:12:31So anyway, so he tells Flair, and Flair says, well, I didn't bring my gear, well, it doesn't

00:12:36matter, find some tennis shoes, some sweatpants, it doesn't matter, because by the time I get

00:12:41finished with your career, that's all you're going to be able to afford anyway, Rick.

00:12:45But you're going to be wrestling tonight against a guy, I think he's really, he's going to

00:12:48be probably our next big thing, his name is Brock Lesnar.

00:12:52He's the 2000 NCAA heavyweight wrestling champion, and he's got an agent that really

00:12:57doesn't like you very much, his name's Heyman.

00:13:00I think he said you fired him once, maybe twice, back in WCW a few years ago, because

00:13:05Flair did fire Paulie at least once, I was there for one of them, if not more.

00:13:10They book Flair against an NCAA champion shooter who is barely trained in professional wrestling,

00:13:17so we know we're with a guy that's advising him, that's a noted fucking liar, and you

00:13:22know, and hates him.

00:13:24So when the match comes about, and Flair's got to do it, or you know, I mean, it's supposed

00:13:30to be a professional wrestling match, but what's going to happen?

00:13:35He can't breach his contract, or else he'll go home, I mean, you know, we're taking a

00:13:39few liberties here.

00:13:41They start to match, Flair goes to lock up, Brock's standing there with his arms at his

00:13:46sides.

00:13:47Flair goes to lock up again, Brock double legs him, takes him down, he goes, Flair grabs

00:13:52the ropes, we're a quick referee, backs it up, Flair comes up and chops Brock, Brock

00:13:56just looks at him, chops him again, just looks at him, goes to take the arm, Brock just jerks

00:14:01it away.

00:14:02Okay, he's not cooperating, we know where this is going, so Flair being an old pro,

00:14:08and also because he can throw a hell of a fucking working punch, and lay it in if he

00:14:11needs to, hauls off and blisters Brock right, Brock's in the UFC right now, and okay, you

00:14:17know, they paid him 250 grand a year to learn how to wrestle, so let's once again say that

00:14:22we're making it worth his while, take a couple of shots from Flair, and Flair throws it and

00:14:27blisters him right in the fucking eye, and Brock immediately takes him down, now you've

00:14:30got a 25 year old monster, just come out of the NCAA tournament against, no matter what

00:14:36kind of shape that Rick was in, and no matter what kind of athlete he was, twice as old,

00:14:42lot smaller, and not prepared for competition at that particular point, and Brock's taking

00:14:48him down, and Flair now is becoming the dirtiest player in the game, and he's going for the

00:14:51eyes, and he's going for the ears, and it's getting a little ugly, but it doesn't last

00:14:55long because Brock, like he did with Frank Mir, gets on him, couple of hammer fists and

00:15:01locks some kind of chicken wing or something, and he's stretching Flair's, and everybody

00:15:05knows Flair's had a bad shoulder, had rotator cuff problems, blah, blah, blah, he locks

00:15:10that fucking thing on, and he's cranking and going south with it, and Heyman is screaming

00:15:14red in the face like you know he'd get, rip it out, rip it out, and Vince is standing

00:15:20back there grinning, and basically Flair screams, and then finally Brock lets go, and Flair's

00:15:26fucked, he's ripped his shoulder out, and that's the way that segment ends, and Brock

00:15:31has been introduced, and he won't be a big deal in the WWF for a while, because we just

00:15:38needed a noted shooter to come in and do that, and he's going to go to developmental, but

00:15:45he's going to be back, and he'll be undefeated, but see here's the thing, here's another thing,

00:15:50with these rosters, while at the same time WWF is doing their program, and WCW is doing

00:15:56their program, trying to be the best wrestling program, on those programs, I'm featuring

00:16:02the young talent, the edges, and Christians, and the, Kurt Angle had only been up there

00:16:08a couple of years at that point, so technically he'd be a young talent, and you know we'll

00:16:12talk about the roster here in a second, but a lot of these guys underneath that are not

00:16:15stars that have not been identified with one promotion or another as of yet, because this

00:16:20was 8 years ago, but I need young talent, I'm going to be featuring them underneath

00:16:25in their own promotion, but for the sake of the crossovers, stars, shooters, or tough

00:16:32guys, and whipping boys, that's what I need to crossover, because we need to keep it believable,

00:16:38so now that that has happened, guess what happens, Jim Ross, like Ed Whalen in Calgary,

00:16:45gets up and walks off in protest, this is the most unprofessional thing I've ever seen

00:16:48in my life, I'm not going to have a part of it, and he walks off the broadcast, and Vince

00:16:53says that's fine, I know where your sympathies lie, I know where your fucking heart is, you

00:16:57want to be back down there down south with your wrestlers, well Jim Ross, I own you too,

00:17:02so go ahead, go on back to WCW, I'll get a real broadcaster, Michael Cole, he's done

00:17:08the news, think Vince can make that believable, he's been trying to get rid of JR for 10 fucking

00:17:14years, even though he's the best there's ever been, guess who else walks off, Mick Foley,

00:17:23the one thing that people know, he genuinely is the nicest guy in the wrestling business,

00:17:28and he doesn't like what's happening, and he decides that he is going to, because he

00:17:31saved his money, everybody knows that too, he's going to quit, he's going to retire,

00:17:35he walks off from the promotion and retires from wrestling, and I base this on after Vince

00:17:40screwed Brett, Survivor Series 97, who didn't come to TV the next day, besides Owen and

00:17:45people in the family, Bulldog, Mick Foley, did not come to TV, because he was upset that

00:17:51he, truth be told, Cactus, if you see this, you were upset that a wrestler couldn't trust

00:17:55a promoter, when you think about it in hindsight, but they nominated me to call Cactus and talk

00:18:02him into coming back, because we had a good relationship, and I did, I called him at night,

00:18:08and the way I got him back was I said, look, this guy just got screwed, he got screwed

00:18:12in a job where he's making 2 million a year, so he can go down somewhere else and make

00:18:163 million a year, and you're not going to come back to TV to protest this screwing,

00:18:24is he going to write you a check for your annual salary out of that 3 million dollars

00:18:28he's getting, if not, Cactus come back for you, and he did, you know, you're right, well,

00:18:33I don't even know if he said I was right, but he came back, so Mick Foley walks off

00:18:39and quits, and henceforth, henceforth, and forthwith, all the interpromotional matches

00:18:46are now being billed as code suspended, which means the professional code amongst wrestlers

00:18:53is not in effect when a WWF guy faces a WCW guy, just so we got that straight, so the

00:18:59June pay-per-view, the king of the ring, now who do we want to humiliate, Vince has decided,

00:19:06you know what, there's an old war horse that has fucked me around, he no-showed me Survivor

00:19:11Series 93, he was supposed to be one of the knights, he went home to nurse a sick horse,

00:19:16he no-showed me a couple, Terry Funk is on that WCW roster, so I'm going to give Terry

00:19:22Funk a championship match on king of the ring, against Kane, the intercontinental champion,

00:19:29Kane wasn't the intercontinental champion, he put it on him the previous Monday night,

00:19:32because we just want Terry Funk in there with this giant, unforgiving, ugly monster, so

00:19:38he can go whip up on the old cowboy, well, Funk, being the veteran that he is, Kane gets

00:19:48in there once again, there's a lack of cooperation, and sometimes these are short, because sometimes

00:19:53a shoot is a stinky match, in a lot of cases, when people aren't cooperating, it's not a

00:19:57good match, but they're kind of working with each other, you can tell, but Kane is just

00:20:01blistering him, and you can see welts coming up on Terry, he's really fucking pounding

00:20:06him, Terry's fighting back, he ain't giving him any opposition, so Terry being the old

00:20:10veteran, he had two things thought of, one is a way to get out of the fucking building

00:20:17when he does what he's thinking of, and secondly, is the way to fucking make sure that he can't

00:20:22be fucking let go, or fired, or whatever, at least in storyline, we'll try to suspend

00:20:28the disbelief, as Kane is beating the piss out of him, it bends over to pick him up to

00:20:34beat him up some more, Terry small packages him, and cinches up long enough to get a fucking

00:20:39three count from the referee, he's going, oh fuck, he fucking double crosses him and

00:20:44wins the Intercontinental title, and immediately rolls out of the ring, grabs the belt, and

00:20:47out of the crowd comes the Harris boys, Ron and Don Harris, and they grab Terry, and they

00:20:51run out the side fucking door, and Kane's up looking like fucking Wendy Richter when

00:20:56Moolah cinched up on her, and Terry Funk has now captured the WWF Intercontinental Championship,

00:21:03when Vince is having a fucking epileptic fit, so god damn it, July, WCW pay-per-view, well

00:21:12guess who Vince decides to send to take care of this shit, a guy that ain't gonna get double

00:21:17crossed, Kurt Angle, okay, beat an Olympic champion motherfucker, Kurt comes out and

00:21:23says basically, Vince McMahon has sent me here to issue an open challenge, any bad ass

00:21:28motherfucker in that locker room that wants to come get in the ring with me, stick your

00:21:31head up your ass, I'll put a sandwich on your back and starve you to death, I'm an

00:21:35Olympic gold medalist, and that was only three years ago, and that ain't no bullshit, and

00:21:40I'm here to fucking stretch somebody from asshole to appetite, guess who steps up, Rick

00:21:46Steiner, Rick Steiner, the dog-faced gremlin, great athlete in fucking college, amateur,

00:21:54wasn't an Olympic champion, wasn't even close, and we'll tell you that, but he's a bad motherfucker

00:21:59and he's got hands like fucking paws, catcher's mitts, so Steiner accepts, but they have basically

00:22:07a fucking wrestling match, a stiff, strong style, much like the Kurt had with Samoa Joe,

00:22:14strong style, but with no ropes and business, and Steiner gets pinned, he loses, but then

00:22:21Angle maybe spits on him or whatever, Steiner, motherfucker, as a man, Steiner slaps him,

00:22:26well then, all of a sudden, who do I have down here, ah, guess who hits from the crowd,

00:22:33from the WWF side, Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko, and they get Rick Steiner down and they're

00:22:38fucking football kicking him, and once again, we're taking some liberties, but I've seen

00:22:43Steiner hit himself harder than I'd want anybody to hit anybody else, so guess who fucking

00:22:51runs out, Scott Steiner, because it's a WCW pay-per-view, so when they hit the ring, it's

00:22:58like Mark's hitting the ring and the boy's going to come from the back, so they're getting

00:23:01some fucking kicks in, Scott Steiner comes down with a baseball bat or a board or whatever,

00:23:06and once again, now the WWF guys take off and run, and there's fucking cops chasing

00:23:09them or whatever, we make, I'm glossing over a lot of this, but we make these incidents

00:23:14look somewhat legitimate, and at the same time, there's a little bit, still, it's a whole

00:23:19lot more real than what the fuck they're seeing with the fucking Diva pillow fights.

00:23:24By the way, I'm making that a fucking firing offense, as Booker, for anybody to suggest

00:23:29a Diva lingerie pillow fight match to me.

00:23:32So anyway, we reveal on Raw, Vince comes out, says, well, doesn't look like Rick Steiner

00:23:52is going to be wrestling very much, I'm paying him, but he's probably losing in on the deal

00:23:59because of the hospital bills, so I'd just like to thank the man that made it all possible

00:24:03to get my men into the building that night, to get my revenge for Terry Funk stealing

00:24:08my promotion's Intercontinental title, he brings out Bischoff.

00:24:12Eric, you have earned your stripes, you're officially now my assistant here in the WWF.

00:24:18Everybody, ah, fucking turncoat, traitor, backstabbing, bastard, prick.

00:24:24Now, Eric Bischoff is Vince's assistant, and since Ric Flair has been home injured

00:24:29with his shoulder torn out, and will never wrestle again, hey, Crip Flair, you like the

00:24:36WCW folks so much, why don't you go down there with that fucking droop-faced fucking Jim

00:24:40Ross and the goddamn rest of the fucking clowns, you can be the general manager and you can

00:24:45watch the whole boat sink, because we're fucking with all of you.

00:24:49Now, Ric Flair's the general manager, Bischoff is the stooge of Vince McMahon over on RAW,

00:24:55and now shit's heating up, and at WWE SummerSlam, Vince says, okay, Ric Steiner, you're not

00:25:04hurt bad enough, you're gonna be back up in about a month or so, so tell you what, how

00:25:09about you bring your brother Scott, you big badass shooters, take on Saturn and Malenko,

00:25:15see what happens?

00:25:17Well, that match comes about, and fucking, basically double disqualification, there's

00:25:23no finish, because nobody will do business with each other, and once again, they have

00:25:28a strong style fucking match, and they're fucking throwing some blows, but this time

00:25:32it's a little bit more wrestling, because all those guys are wrestlers instead of fighters,

00:25:36and Malenko knows his shit, and look at Saturn, and the people see a match that they can believe,

00:25:42and nobody will do business, there's not even any two counts, there's people trying to pin

00:25:47people, and people getting out of it, so it's a double DQ, and it's waved off, and meanwhile,

00:25:51oh, and also I forgot, also, when Flair has made the, you know, hears that he's been made

00:25:57the general manager on Nitro, he comes out and says, so Eric Bischoff, did he go ahead

00:26:01and go the whole route and give you 30 pieces of silver, you Judas motherfucker, we all

00:26:06knew you'd stab us in the back, you prick, but now you do it right on the other guy's

00:26:10fucking television, so he, he, right, and maybe, maybe as a matter of fact, also on

00:26:16pay-per-view, Dustin Rhodes, for WCW, gets brought over, and gets put in the ring with

00:26:23the Big Show, and the Big Show, what the fuck you gonna do with the guy you didn't want

00:26:28done, Big Show beats Dustin, maybe Dean Malenko stretches poor Canyon, because Canyon's just

00:26:35a guy on the card trying to keep his job, he gets put in with Dean Malenko, Malenko

00:26:40stretches him, right, some shit like that, maybe this doesn't all happen in this order,

00:26:45but I mean, you know, so, Flair's promo Judas Bischoff, but on Nitro, he announces he has

00:26:50a surprise later on, since he's the new general manager of Nitro, and also, Dusty can do a

00:26:55hot promo about Dustin, his son, being abused, saying the WWE doesn't make legends, they

00:27:01just make ass kissers, right, and then Flair, at the end of the program, comes out, and

00:27:06introduces his new acquisition, because it occurred to him, that if he's the general

00:27:12manager, he can hire wrestlers, even though Vince doesn't have to pay him, he's hired

00:27:15this guy out of his own pocket, to come to WCW, because it feels like it would be a morale

00:27:21booster, guy named Cactus Jack, Vince's head on raw, blows up, the fucking, the guy walked

00:27:29out, he quit, he retired, you can't sign Mick Foley, I didn't sign Mick Foley, I signed

00:27:33Cactus Jack, and I'm paying him, Vince, you're not, and we just, just fucking shit, right,

00:27:40maybe in September, WCW, Dusty becomes Dustin's manager, and maybe puts him together with

00:27:46Jeff Jarrett as a tag team, because there's two second generation wrestlers, because now

00:27:50also, I'm going to want to build my young talent, because as we're getting ever closer

00:27:56to WrestleMania, a lot of this shit's going to be blown off, now I will say one thing,

00:28:01I didn't pick up three people, specifically, and I'll explain this, I didn't pick up Goldberg,

00:28:09because he had one of those contracts where he's going to get paid no matter what, he

00:28:13was closing in on Ford, he was injured at the time, I question his dedication to the

00:28:17business, to be quite honest, you know, he was smashed over as a phenomenon, but he never

00:28:24was allowed to become a polished worker, I don't think his heart was in it, he had

00:28:28other things to do, so I didn't take Goldberg, I didn't take Lex Luger, because despite,

00:28:34this is fantasy, but some things you can't go that far, and Vince McMahon would have

00:28:39not taken Lex Luger, and for the same reason Larry Zbysko, because Zbysko fucking sued

00:28:44him, and there's been heat for 20 years, so we didn't take those people, but I'm building

00:28:51my younger guys, so maybe also, maybe Funk has been ordered on that pay-per-view to

00:28:56defend the intercontinental title that he stole, that he stole, jeez, I'm trying to

00:29:01read and talk at the same time, that he stole against Malenko, but Son of a Gun, he calls

00:29:06in and says, damnedest thing, I got a sick horse again, and he doesn't show up, well

00:29:11now, no show, he can be fired, right?

00:29:13Then Vince will never get his fucking belt back, now it's more important to Vince to

00:29:18have Terry Funk, that old broken down cowboy, that has been a thorn in his side as NWA champion

00:29:24since the fucking late 60s, and his old man, and his fucking brother, the Funks, the NWA,

00:29:30those southern wrestlers, I'm gonna get this motherfucker on a fucking program, I'm gonna

00:29:35humiliate him in front of everybody, and somebody's getting my belt back, right?

00:29:40So Terry doesn't get fired.

00:29:43Booker T maybe has a match against Christian, but he's disqualified, Booker, WCW, Christian,

00:29:49WWE, because the referee brought in happens to work for the WWE, wouldn't you know who

00:29:54won the pony?

00:29:56Maybe, oh and also maybe Jeff Jarrett and Dustin Rhodes as partners there with Dusty

00:30:01in the corner because they're second generation stars, maybe they had a match and beat the

00:30:05Hardys, and there was cooperation there, they had a hell of a match, because the fucking

00:30:10Hardy boys, you know, they have no fucking bone to pick, but they're WWF guys, so now

00:30:16they're in hot water for putting the other guys over, with that Vince coming out and

00:30:20saying as such.

00:30:21Okay, maybe we go to October.

00:30:23Now on the WWE program, the Dudleys have become the WWE tag team champions.

00:30:28Meanwhile, to teach Ball's Mahoney a lesson, because there's four guys we picked up from

00:30:33ECW, Jerry Lynn and Nova, Jerry Lynn, tremendous performer, Nova came to me in Louisville right

00:30:39about this time, he was in great shape and did some great stuff, Ball's Mahoney, tough,

00:30:45crazy son of a bitch, I've always had a soft spot for him, good worker, he's in injuries

00:30:51and et cetera in that style, but eight years ago he could still fucking go, and you want

00:30:55a tough, crazy son of a bitch that'll hard way himself, and Rob Van Dam, Rob's work,

00:31:02to be honest, psychology wise, not exactly stellar, and some of it's sloppy, but he does

00:31:07athletic things that nobody else can do, and he's got charisma, so he's a star.

00:31:12So maybe on that, we bring Brock Lesnar back to the mainstream, and he hard ways and hospitalizes

00:31:17Ball's Maloney, or Ball's Baloney, Ball's Mahoney.

00:31:22Terry Funk is forced to defend the Intercontinental title against Eddie Guerrero, god damn it,

00:31:27we're getting his belt, and wouldn't you know who won the pony, Funk's laying there in the

00:31:32middle of the fucking ring, and Eddie goes through the frog splash, and his foot slips

00:31:36off the rope, and he falls, and you know Eddie was such a worker, he could do this, he actually

00:31:40falls on his head and knocks himself out, and fucking Terry looks over, one, two, three,

00:31:48he's still got the fucking belt, but we're playing with Terry's shit, because he can

00:31:54get by with it, everybody else is pretty much deadly serious, at Survivor Series, we're

00:31:59starting to get heated up, because now guess who we got in the ring against each other,

00:32:03Bam Bam Bigelow against Taz, now have you noticed, these are not the Hulk Hogan's, the

00:32:10Sting's, etc., because no, they're on their own program, well Hogan's not, but you know

00:32:16Sting's on his own program, Undertaker, Austin is on his own program, whatever, but Vince

00:32:22is not going to risk his top guys coming over and getting in this fucking bullshit, but

00:32:28by the same token, every week on TV, not only are both promotions doing their own angles

00:32:33and their own cards, and building their own pay per views, but everybody, not everybody,

00:32:37but selected people each week, are sniping at each other, because Dusty now is going

00:32:43to cut some fucking promos here shortly about some people, and he can cut right down to

00:32:47the bone, so Bam Bam Bigelow and Taz gets out of hand, and maybe the cops have to hit

00:32:51the ring, and not the fucking cops, the police, but real uniformed cops with fucking guns

00:32:57and tasers and shit, that looks legitimate, and they handcuff somebody, but in the process

00:33:02of dragging these people out, with Bigelow and Taz once again talking about, especially

00:33:07Bam Bam, somebody will throw some, fuck he was a bounty hunter, and god damn he had his

00:33:11head tattooed for fuck's sake, you think he gives a shit, some fan would get fucking hurt

00:33:17and there would be a lawsuit, and Vince goes fucking epileptic, so Vince fires Taz, and

00:33:25he's gone, and of course you pay him to go home, not taking it out on the guy for an

00:33:30angle, but now nobody sees Taz anymore, and he's legitimately fired, so oh fuck, there's

00:33:35fucking shit going on, he'll come back after this whole thing resolves, he asks Vince to

00:33:41book a handicap match, the Dudleys against Animal the Road Warrior, and the Dudleys can

00:33:46come out and rub their hands together, because Hawk didn't work there at that time, and the

00:33:51Dudleys can be rubbing their hands together, gosh we wish we could have got both of them,

00:33:54because we'd have loved to have beat the Road Warriors, because they're legend of the tag

00:33:57team titles, and they're building to the 20 times, but we'll take Animal, and they fucking

00:34:02beat Animal, and Animal doesn't want to, and he tries to, he tries to get his shots in,

00:34:07but at the same time you can tell, it didn't devolve into a shoot, but it was humiliating

00:34:13for the guy, Triple H who's been hurt all year, and by the way, here's what I think

00:34:19about Triple H, his promos, I'd rather watch a dog lick it's balls, boring and way too

00:34:27long, one time I had Raw on, and he's talking, and then I fucking go out to the garage, I

00:34:33get something, I come back, he's talking, then he gets in the ring to wrestle, okay

00:34:37so I go make myself a fucking sandwich, I come back, he's talking after he finished

00:34:41the fucking match, good worker, student of the game, but he's the guy that works with

00:34:46the guy that draws the money, would Triple H, unless he had married into the family

00:34:50and been smashed into that spot year after year after year, with the interruptions for

00:34:55the injuries, with the bland promos, would he have ever been in that spot if he was just,

00:35:00he's a good worker, but he ain't Shawn Michaels as far as show stealer, he ain't Steve Austin

00:35:06as far as, or The Rock as far as fucking mega star, he ain't Mick Foley as far as talent,

00:35:11he doesn't get, does Triple H get mentioned in with those guys, Flair, Foley, Taker, Austin,

00:35:18Rock, except in WWF scripted fucking television commercials, no, he's the guy that works with

00:35:24the guy that draws the money, but Triple H returns, and Funk is forced to defend the

00:35:29intercontinental title against Triple H, and Triple H wins with some type of help, we won't

00:35:34go into details, but some nefariousness from Eric Bischoff, and then Vince doesn't fire

00:35:40him, now that I got my belt back, I'm not going to fire you, I want you to show up next

00:35:44month because I've got a Christmas present for you, on the pay per view, you fucking

00:35:47old cowboy prick, so anyway, blah blah blah, where the fuck are we going with this, so

00:35:52December comes around, see I did think about this a little bit, on the December pay per

00:35:58view for WCW, Mick Foley, and see this is not all, this is just some highlights, because

00:36:01I mean if we really sat down for days and weeks, but Foley wins the WCW title, so he's

00:36:07the WCW champion, Terry Funk beats somebody, wins a match, but all of a sudden, there's

00:36:12a blackout, see we can play with Terry's stuff a little bit, a little showbiz, there's a

00:36:16blackout, when the lights come on, Undertaker has Terry Funk up in a tombstone, and fucking

00:36:21tombstone's him in the middle of the ring, crosses his arms, rest in peace, and on the

00:36:26screen, Vince pops up and laughs, I still pay both the TV crews, because how else are

00:36:32you going to have a fucking blackout and all that, yeah right, he got even for Funk's double

00:36:37cross, now we're starting to get a little bit better quality matches, Sting, WCW guy

00:36:42beats Chris Jericho in a whale of a match, but once again, how did fucking Jericho get

00:36:48beat, but wasn't the fucking fix in, well goddamn, the answer is, fucking Jericho hurt

00:36:54his fucking back, when Sting put the fucking hold on that he was supposed to, Jericho couldn't

00:36:59complete things as necessary, and had to give up, because maybe Sting just wouldn't

00:37:03go over quite as easy, right, playing on the fucking Bret Hart Survivor Series, animal

00:37:11on that pay per view brings out a special guest, he has talked a friend of his into

00:37:16coming back to the company, and agreeing to tag team with him, thanks to Mr. Ric Flair

00:37:23General Manager, Hawk, the Road Warriors are back, they're back together, the Warriors

00:37:29that night win the WCW tag team title, because Vince doesn't give a fuck what WCW guys do

00:37:33against each other, January at the Royal Rumble, guess who comes back, Hulk Hogan, big fucking

00:37:41reaction, because he's heard all the things that Dusty Rhodes has been saying, and Ric

00:37:46Flair has been saying, Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair were always pretenders brother, I was

00:37:51always the man, they were out there in the small time, the Bush League, but Hulkamania

00:37:56will never die, because Hulkamania, the shit that he would do, right, he was the man, Steve

00:38:02Austin at the Royal Rumble, wins the WWE title, he says he's the real world champion, The

00:38:07Rock beats Jeff Jarrett, match never happened, right, did that match ever take place, it

00:38:14didn't, so The Rock has a whale of a match with Jeff Jarrett, of course Jeff's a WCW

00:38:19guy, so he's ordered to lay down for him, whether he would have or not, and Rock cuts

00:38:24a promo about, I hear there's this guy, and I can't do The Rock, so, you know, but he

00:38:29promos Sting, the guy that beats his chest and howls, and he does a bunch of his pie

00:38:33jokes, and then face paint and everything, and he basically just embarrasses, verbally

00:38:37embarrasses Sting, Undertaker is having a match, guess what happens, in the middle of

00:38:44the fucking match, the fucking apron flips up, and Terry Funk comes out from under the

00:38:50ring, with a flaming fucking branding iron, and sticks it on The Undertaker's ass and

00:38:55runs, right, and maybe not his ass, that might be funny for Taker, because we can't get too

00:39:03funny with Taker, but he basically flaming brands The Undertaker, and fucking takes off,

00:39:09and that's obviously going in business for himself, and I mean some of this, as we think

00:39:14about some of this stuff, it might be a little funny for a shoot, so we might take it out,

00:39:18but you know, blah, blah, blah, the Dudleys are undefeated in WWE tag team competition

00:39:23for the past almost four months, and also we have an interpromotional match booked,

00:39:29that gets everybody's attention, they don't even break loose into a fight, they really

00:39:35try to beat each other in a wrestling match, and can't for 20 minutes, nobody wins,

00:39:4220 minute Broadway, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, they would fucking scorch the place, right,

00:39:49strong style the whole way, February pay-per-view WCW, Dusty promos Hogan, challenges him,

00:39:57says, basically Dusty, one time Dusty and Flair on TBS, we were coming up to the first

00:40:05Crockett Cup in the Superdome, and they actually came, this was 1986, when there was no breaking

00:40:12of kayfabe, and there was no internet, and people didn't know these terms, you know I said,

00:40:17I never even heard the term high spot, they actually came out on TBS and said they don't do

00:40:24jobs in front of 70,000 people, because I think Flair said, I ain't doing a job in front of

00:40:3070,000 people in the Superdome brother, and Dusty said, I don't do no jobs in front of

00:40:3470,000 people either, so where does that leave us, really, yes, and the boys were even like,

00:40:39fuck, and of course the people who knew said, fuck, and the people who didn't know what

00:40:44job was, it went by them, so Dusty goes into business for himself on this pay-per-view,

00:40:52and they put a live mic in front of him, which he, you know, he's the dream, he does these

00:40:57type of things, because he's used to calling the shots, and Dusty cuts a promo on fucking

00:41:03Hogan, saying I was the man when you were still fucking strumming a guitar, and I was

00:41:08against superstar Billy Graham in Madison Square Garden brother, and blah, blah, blah, and

00:41:12just out of nowhere, just says these things, running fucking Hogan down, because of the

00:41:16fucking remarks that Hogan made the previous month, Sting maybe has a match with Edge,

00:41:22and something happens, but Sting answers Rock, Foley defeats his WCW challenger, and he responds

00:41:30to Austin saying that he was the man, the world champion, but said, hey, I've held the

00:41:35WWE title, and the WCW title, Steve Austin, you've only held one, and you know Mick can

00:41:41carry this off, all the top guys are now getting a little snotty with each other, you've

00:41:47got Rock, and Sting, and Dusty, and Hogan, and Flair, and all these, and Austin if I

00:41:55mention him, basically insulting each other on each other's television programs, because

00:42:01they're fucking sniping, and this thing's going on for so long, and maybe Terry Funk

00:42:06gets ambushed by two guys under fucking hoods, but instead of this deal where the camera

00:42:12just happened to be in the parking lot, it's the old, we did this with the Thrill Seekers

00:42:17and the Heavenly Bodies in Knoxville, a fan has a video camera, and you actually, you

00:42:23make it a woman, because you can hear the woman's voice, because if it's a guy, you

00:42:26think either there's somebody with it, or maybe he should have helped, but there's the

00:42:30woman with the video camera, and the cute little six year old girl, oh, there's Terry

00:42:35Funk, honey, run and get his autograph, and you shoot it, hey, wave, and there's Terry

00:42:40doing the wave with the little girl, and all of a sudden these two guys pull up in a fucking

00:42:43car and jump out, boom, into the fucking side of the fucking car, kick him, beat him, boom,

00:42:48jump, screech, the woman's, oh my God, call the police, and they show on the WCW program,

00:42:54they show that footage, because Flair's talking about, was it the Undertaker, because he got

00:42:58the hooded druids, or was it Vince McMahon, who's responsible, but more importantly than

00:43:02that, this is how far it's fucking come, so finally you go to Raw, Vince is tired of

00:43:07the fucking headaches, the lawsuits, the medical bills, WCW and Flair, put up or shut up, God

00:43:15damn it, it's time, my roster makes a challenge to your roster, interpromotional showdown,

00:43:21Wrestlemania, up and down the card, WWF versus WCW, and whoever wins the majority of those

00:43:30matches, where the codes will be suspended, whoever wins the majority of the matches,

00:43:36will be the roster of the crew that gets their contracts renewed, so whoever wins the majority

00:43:44continues employment, whoever wins the minority, you're all wiped out, because it's been a

00:43:50year, and now I have the clause, see those WCW guys have been wanting to get in, they

00:43:55could say, hey, if enough of your guys get hurt, you'll have to use us, we'll still be

00:44:00employed, and we're talking hundreds of thousands of seven figure jobs here, so this is big

00:44:04shit on the line, so now by this point, we've had work, we've had shoot, we've had work

00:44:09shoot, we've had fucking people who can really talk about each other and make people believe

00:44:14it, fucking promo on each other, meanwhile we've had the WWF and WCW independently with

00:44:20their own television shows and their own fucking live house show tours, we didn't even

00:44:25talk about that.

00:44:26Right, that's true.

00:44:27Their own promotions, wrestling should be hot, the ratings should be good, the WCW should

00:44:35be rehabbed, it's been a year, all the talent has been positioned the way you would want

00:44:40it, I've probably had Vince spend a ton of money in developmental to sign the guys that

00:44:47are going to carry us in five and ten years, I've got my guys on the roster that are young,

00:44:52already bubbling underneath, ready to use them after Wrestlemania to give people a brand

00:44:56new look, because after Wrestlemania, it's all WWE, even if he keeps the WCW fucking

00:45:04roster, it's all WWE, because we can't keep this going forever.

00:45:07Right, sure.

00:45:08So basically, it comes down to this giant Wrestlemania fucking card, and whichever promotion

00:45:14wins the majority of the fucking matches, is the ones whose contracts are renewed, and

00:45:18they're the fucking horses he's riding.

00:45:20Right.

00:45:21Now he can keep anybody he wants from the losing side if he wants, but you know if WCW

00:45:27loses, he's fucking canning them all because they're a bunch of fucking pricks.

00:45:32Maybe on Nitro, maybe you have both rosters out for a contract signing, and maybe one

00:45:39of those work shoot press conferences, maybe not, I don't know, but Wrestlemania 2002,

00:45:45you want to hear this card?

00:45:46Let's do it.

00:45:51And these matches, to my knowledge, either had never taken place, have never taken place,

00:45:57never took place up until then, or whatever the case.

00:46:02Bob Evans sausage gravy for the third time.

00:46:05And WWF is on the left side, WCW is on the right side.

00:46:08You might have to make two columns because we got a five hour pay-per-view window, folks,

00:46:12because fuck, I'm just going to put them all down and see what happens.

00:46:15For the undisputed World Heavyweight Championship, there will be only one, Stone Cold Steve Austin

00:46:21versus Mick Foley.

00:46:23Now that match had happened, but it never happened with both titles on the line with

00:46:28two guys in opposite fucking places, and also the thing is, Mick was about ready to retire,

00:46:34so I think that's as good a way as any to send him out, the main event at Wrestlemania

00:46:38where he finally loses the championship to Austin, and he rides off into the sunset to

00:46:44be a best-selling author, and his buddy Roger said to a nicer guy it couldn't happen.

00:46:50Because I love me some Mick Foley.

00:46:52The semi-final match, and see there's not stipulations in these matches because you're

00:46:58gimmicking gimmicks.

00:46:59You put, okay, you know, we'll have a couple of things, but for the most part, it's not

00:47:03going to be First Blood or Texas Death or Lights Out because the matches themselves

00:47:07are gimmicks.

00:47:08You don't want to burn through your fucking gimmicks.

00:47:11The last ride of the old cowboy, Desperado, Undertaker, Terry Funk.

00:47:19Tell me that Undertaker would not figure it an honor to work with Terry Funk, and Terry

00:47:25at that point probably was going to retire for the 42nd time, but did that match ever

00:47:32take place?

00:47:33Anybody?

00:47:35Two guys from Texas, even though Taker, he's from Death Valley, but Taker would have a

00:47:41ball with it.

00:47:42Funk would be on his game.

00:47:44What a fucking match, and basically, Taker would win the match, but he would then come

00:47:55out as a babyface because he would beat Terry until Terry couldn't hardly fucking breathe,

00:48:00and Terry wouldn't quit until finally he was about dead, and then Undertaker would

00:48:04get respect for Terry Funk.

00:48:06Okay.

00:48:08The Rock versus Sting.

00:48:13WCW icon and fucking WWE icon, whatever the fuck, never happened, never will now, and

00:48:22in that one, and it'll be on my fucking results.

00:48:26Ah, there we go.

00:48:28Sting catches Rock, because we're going to assume that everybody's here to do business,

00:48:35and Rock at that time, wasn't that the year he worked with Hogan, or was that 2003?

00:48:40It was this year?

00:48:42Was that the last match he had?

00:48:45When was the last match he had?

00:48:49Well, the point is that he was fixing, okay, but I mean, at this time, he was defying the

00:48:59cardinal rule of television, folks.

00:49:01I'm talking to people off screen, but Rock was leaving.

00:49:03He already was going to the movies.

00:49:05I think he would have given back to the business, and he would have put Sting over because Sting

00:49:10was going to stay at that point for a little while, and you know, Rock's going to make

00:49:1415 million a year in the movies, so I think his feelings would be fine, and here's where

00:49:20we're going to play with this a little bit.

00:49:23When Hulk Hogan came back, he had a manager with him, Jimmy Hart, so since the two biggest

00:49:30icons of these companies of the 70s and 80s are going to go head up, it only figures they

00:49:36both need somebody in the corner, Hulk Hogan with Jimmy Hart against Dusty Rhodes with

00:49:41Jim Cornette.

00:49:42Like, Dusty needs somebody to talk for him.

00:49:44No, I wouldn't open my mouth.

00:49:46I just won't fuck around with Jimmy Hart and watch this fucking match, and since we're

00:49:52just pulling this all completely out of our asses anyway, and in that one, if I'm not

00:50:00mistaken, Hogan wins on disqualification because of what the managers do because Dusty ain't

00:50:06laying down.

00:50:07He ain't going to do no jobs in front of 70,000 people, so where does that leave us?

00:50:11So it's a DQ, and I don't blame you.

00:50:13Who gets it?

00:50:14Hogan over Dusty on DQ.

00:50:16See, now you put the circle around the wrong fucking deal.

00:50:20Hogan's going to lose under any circumstance.

00:50:23This may be a fantasy, but we got to keep some fucking semblance of reality.

00:50:30Next match.

00:50:33This match had happened, and actually, I thought it was fucking great.

00:50:39Vince McMahon versus Ric Flair, but for once, we got a stipulation.

00:50:45If Flair wins, he gets five minutes alone with Eric Bischoff.

00:50:48We've been building this for a fucking year, right?

00:50:51Ric Flair, his career was over.

00:50:54He has not wrestled since right after the fucking purchase when Brock tore him up, but

00:50:59he says, God damn it, not as a wrestler, but as a man, Vince McMahon, I'm going to kick

00:51:04your ass, and that little fucking weasel, that little gutless bastard, that no good

00:51:08prick, that Judas turncoat, Eric Bischoff, if I beat you, Vince McMahon, I get five

00:51:14minutes with Eric Bischoff, and Vince says, well, of course, because Vince is the

00:51:17genetic jackhammer and has balls the size of grapefruits.

00:51:19He's not going to fucking get beat up by a fucking cripple, so blah, blah, blah.

00:51:23Sure, you can have it, and there's Bischoff.

00:51:25I did think about it the other way around, but I saw Bischoff try to wrestle once, and

00:51:31it was so fucking embarrassing.

00:51:33He was, oh, my God, his shit didn't land, and he looked fucking awkward and horrible,

00:51:38and so Flair and Vince had a great fucking match, and then, you know, basically,

00:51:44Bischoff could do whatever the fuck he could do.

00:51:46It won't last long.

00:51:48Oh, and I'm sorry, and by the way, Flair does defeat Vince McMahon to get to five

00:51:52minutes with Bischoff.

00:51:55Undisputed World Tag Team Championship.

00:51:57This would have been the first time that this match of past and present ever took

00:52:01place, Dudleys against their Road Warriors, and in that one, the Warriors would go

00:52:07over, and I think that the Dudleys would be honored to do that, especially if they

00:52:11knew they were getting a rematch and there was more to the story later on.

00:52:16Then we're going to showcase probably the strongest wrestling match that we can

00:52:24field out of both rosters in an Iron Man match.

00:52:29Don't know what the time limit is, but, you know, most falls in whatever time that

00:52:32we could give them on this five-hour window we have, Kurt Angle versus Chris Benoit

00:52:38with Arn Anderson.

00:52:43And Benoit would catch Angle.

00:52:49And I don't think anybody that likes wrestling, I don't think, would argue with

00:52:52having seen that, you know, probably every show for the next month or for the next

00:52:57year, rather, but on this one, Benoit Topsy.

00:53:02The Intercontinental versus the U.S. title.

00:53:04There will be only one after this, Triple H versus Booker T.

00:53:12And Triple H does catch him because, of course, once again, it's fantasy, but

00:53:17somebody, you know what, I was doing my Who's Slammin' Who call-in, and I didn't

00:53:23watch WrestleMania.

00:53:24I was washing my hair.

00:53:26And Tommy Fiero says, are you surprised that Triple H won?

00:53:31And I blew snot.

00:53:33I busted out laughing.

00:53:34Surprised is not a fucking emotion I would have.

00:53:37No, no, I'm not surprised he won.

00:53:39Wouldn't be surprised if he won, if he beat the whole fucking roster.

00:53:43Okay, then we're going to gimmick things up a little bit.

00:53:46We're going to have a ladder match just because this is the blow-away high-spot

00:53:50match of the fucking show.

00:53:53Edge and Christian, who I thought were a tremendous tag team.

00:53:57I loved the brood.

00:53:58I loved their team.

00:54:00This was about the time they were doing the good stuff.

00:54:02God, you got rotten handwriting.

00:54:04And, by the way, their manager is Trish Stratus, another blonde Canadian.

00:54:09She looked hot, and especially since, with all this seriousness going on, by

00:54:13the way, the Diva of Lingerie pillow fight matches are out of it.

00:54:17Trish was a good worker.

00:54:19She really worked hard.

00:54:20At that time, she wasn't necessarily fabulous, but she got that way.

00:54:24But we've put the girls' matches on the back burner unless we can find

00:54:28something either to match up to a Gail Kim and an Awesome Kong in terms of a

00:54:33fight or the Crush Girls from Japan or Chagusa or something like that.

00:54:38You know, we're not really featuring major guns or whatever against, you

00:54:43know, Stacey Keebler or whatever the fuck that was.

00:54:46They're going against Nova and Jerry Lynn, who are probably going to be my

00:54:52WCW high spot bar and burner tag team.

00:54:58Here you go.

00:54:59Tough guys match.

00:55:00Big Show and Kane against the Steiner brothers.

00:55:03Who gets the full?

00:55:04Oh, I'm sorry.

00:55:05I'm sorry.

00:55:06That would be, let me keep track of this, Edge and Christian.

00:55:13All right.

00:55:15Big Show and Kane and the Steiner brothers.

00:55:18See, we have 16 matches on this show.

00:55:20We've been spending a year selling this.

00:55:22We're going to give you your fucking money's worth.

00:55:24Pack a lunch, bring you fucking popcorn.

00:55:28Bring the kids.

00:55:29The midgets are wrestling tonight.

00:55:31Or bring the midgets.

00:55:32The kids are wrestling tonight.

00:55:33And in that one, the Steiners catch it because they're, after all, brothers

00:55:37and they're a little bit more experienced in tag team, even though Big Show

00:55:41and Kane put up a hell of a fight.

00:55:43I like this next one.

00:55:45Chris Jericho versus Lance Storm.

00:55:49I brought them into this world.

00:55:50I'll take them out.

00:55:51The thrill-seekers.

00:55:55Jericho catches Storm in what would have to be, I would think, another

00:55:59blow-away fucking athletic performance.

00:56:03The Hardys with Lita.

00:56:05And Lita would stay with the Hardys because they were a package.

00:56:09I think the three of them were hotter together than when they've tried

00:56:14to break them up and fucking one guy killed the other guy's dog and all

00:56:17this happy horse shit.

00:56:21The WWF resident young people's team against my second-generation team

00:56:27of Jeff Jarrett and Dustin Rhodes.

00:56:31I don't know whether Jeff would like being teamed up with Dustin.

00:56:35Like I said, in a lot of these cases, these underneath matches, these are

00:56:39my young people that once we get, because we ain't going to have Terry

00:56:44Funk, we ain't going to have Mick Foley, we ain't going to have The Rock,

00:56:47we ain't going to have Hulk Hogan.

00:56:49I'm using this one-year build period to have these dream matches, have a

00:56:54blow-away WrestleMania, but all these other people are featured because

00:56:58they've been featured on my program and then all the younger guys are going

00:57:02to move up and by the next year's WrestleMania, this side of the card is

00:57:06going to be over here because age and attrition and injuries.

00:57:13Look, the Road Warriors ain't going to go long.

00:57:15Vince ain't a wrestler.

00:57:16Flair is not well.

00:57:18Flair's still going to go a while, but we wouldn't have thought at the time.

00:57:21Dusty was winding it down.

00:57:22Hogan part-time.

00:57:23Rock part-time.

00:57:24Sting's still okay.

00:57:25Funk is quitting.

00:57:26Taker still has years.

00:57:28Austin actually was, unfortunately, soon to be done and Mick wasn't going to

00:57:34wrestle full-time after that.

00:57:36So these guys are going to be the future as in next year.

00:57:41And I would have pumped money in developmental because when these guys

00:57:46are over here, developmental guys are going to be over there.

00:57:50Or we can just keep using the same fucking people until everything happens

00:57:53like the AWA and we all turn into powder.

00:57:56Okay, what about this six-man?

00:57:59You need a bigger board.

00:58:01You know, just do it on the screen, whatever.

00:58:05Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, and Dean Malenko against Chavo Guerrero,

00:58:15Rey Mysterio, and Chris Candido with Tammy Sitch.

00:58:19You tell me that six-man tag where we're going to have some lucha spots,

00:58:23we're going to have some wrestling, we're going to have some fucking big bumps.

00:58:26Candido, give me him again.

00:58:28Candido, Chavo, and Mysterio who are, once again, everybody knows I love Chris Candido.

00:58:35I can't even say that.

00:58:36Rey Mysterio, an amazing performer.

00:58:38The Guerreros, the whole family.

00:58:43Oh, and I'm sorry, results, results.

00:58:46Jarrett and Dustin caught the hardies on that one because we've got to keep this

00:58:50thing fucking fairly close down to the wire so we're starting to trade back and forth.

00:58:55In the six-man, it's the Eddie Guerrero-led team, so the WWF wins that one.

00:59:05Okay, we've got three more.

00:59:07Brock Lesnar, the next big thing with his manager, Happy Heyman.

00:59:14Defeats Bam Bam Bigelow.

00:59:16Can you imagine that big fucking beast in there with fucking Brock

00:59:20and they're suplexing each other back and forth?

00:59:24It would be believable.

00:59:27As a matter of fact, I hope he never sees this because Kevin Nash will come up

00:59:35and put his foot up my ass because I put him this low on the card.

00:59:39Rhino versus Kevin Nash and Nash takes it.

00:59:43And having said this, I had a match before I even looked at the rosters in mind

00:59:48that was going to be over here, probably third down,

00:59:51which was Michaels and Triple H against Hall and Nash.

00:59:54And I look at the rosters, Hall was not in WCW and Michaels had taken his ball

00:59:59and gone home, selling his back and was not in WWF.

01:00:03So that match would have been the legends deal except we don't have half the participants.

01:00:10I guess we could have made it up, but I was trying to stick to reality.

01:00:18Yeah, there you go. We're really sticking to reality.

01:00:21Jesus Christ, look at that black tar hair over here.

01:00:24And then, just because we want to follow the annual WrestleMania tradition

01:00:29and get everybody on the card, you don't have to write these names.

01:00:33But 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

01:00:38A 14-man battle royal, and I'll just read them off.

01:00:41You can graphicize them.

01:00:43Steve Blackman, the reason I picked keeping Steve was because he was a legitimate

01:00:48martial arts expert, looked in great shape, had that serious look.

01:00:51He's somebody you would want to have for this trading back and forth of real fights.

01:00:56D-Lo Brown, who never got a fair shake up there and was a much better talent

01:01:00than his fucking push indicated.

01:01:03Al Snow, who knows a lot about wrestling and wrestling holes

01:01:06and would have been training some of the younger guys.

01:01:09Val Venus, who was a great fucking performer.

01:01:11Bull Buchanan, who never got a fucking chance, just incredible.

01:01:14He was a great young kid.

01:01:16William Regal, who we've already talked about.

01:01:18Bill DeMott, talk about a big, bad son of a gun that was convincing

01:01:22and could move around.

01:01:24Balls, Van Damme.

01:01:26Dallas Page, just because God bless him, I couldn't find anything to figure out.

01:01:29He didn't.

01:01:32The WCW roster was kind of off as far as the WWE at the time

01:01:37had a lot more young guys that could fucking move, quite frankly,

01:01:42and I was trying to figure out where to place several of these guys,

01:01:46and they just didn't have any obvious counterpart on the other side.

01:01:49We talked about that Diamond Dallas Page against the Undertaker scenario.

01:01:53They did. Holy fuck.

01:01:55Who's going to believe that? He's stalking his wife.

01:01:58Here's Diamond Dallas Page with a baby face over here,

01:02:01and all of a sudden he's a fucking nut and a sex pervert.

01:02:04Maybe a sex pervert, but he certainly wasn't a fucking heel.

01:02:07I'm kidding, Page, if you see that.

01:02:10Canyon and the Harris twins.

01:02:13Once again, Page was getting ready to quit.

01:02:16He made his money, and he was older than anybody gave him credit for being.

01:02:20Great shape.

01:02:22I don't want to invest in some guys who are rich

01:02:26and not ready to get out of the business when I'm building my future.

01:02:30And in that Battle Royale, Van Dam wins

01:02:33because he's somebody that I want to fucking invest in.

01:02:37So what does WCW Battle Royale?

01:02:42Yeah, Battle Royale.

01:02:46So basically, for the WWF side,

01:02:49Austin over Foley, Taker over Funk, Hogan over Dusty DQ,

01:02:54Triple H over Booker, Edge and Christian over Nova and Jerry Lynn,

01:02:58Jericho over Storm, the six-man WWF wins,

01:03:02Brock over Bigelow, WCW wins,

01:03:05Sting over Rock, Flair over Vince,

01:03:08Warriors over Dudleys, Benoit over Angle,

01:03:11Steiners over Show and Kane, Jarrett and Dustin over the Hardys,

01:03:14Nash over Rhino, and Van Dam wins the Battle Royale.

01:03:17Now wouldn't you know who won the pony once?

01:03:19And by the way, do you know what I'm saying when I say that?

01:03:21Won the pony?

01:03:22Wouldn't you know who won the pony?

01:03:23The promoter in Richmond, Virginia,

01:03:25his name back in the late 50s, 60s was Bill Lewis.

01:03:29And Richmond, Virginia, was on its ass,

01:03:31so they announced, because Bill Lewis owned a horse farm,

01:03:34he's going to raffle off a pony.

01:03:36Come to the matches, come down, buy your ticket,

01:03:39put your ticket stub in the box,

01:03:41and we're going to draw at intermission,

01:03:42and somebody's going to win a pony.

01:03:44We're giving away a free pony.

01:03:46And they have a great house that night,

01:03:48and he comes out at intermission,

01:03:50he's going to give away the pony,

01:03:51and he reaches down in the box,

01:03:52he fumbles around, and he pulls it out.

01:03:54Well, wouldn't you know who won the pony?

01:03:56My son, Blue.

01:03:57My son, Blue, won the pony.

01:03:59And everybody, you motherfucker,

01:04:01and they killed the fucking town.

01:04:03Anyway, so every time that I'm trying to call shenanigans

01:04:07on something that is obviously fucking contrived

01:04:10or couldn't fucking take place,

01:04:11well, wouldn't you know who won the pony?

01:04:13Anyway, if you will notice,

01:04:16by your arithmetic, 16 matches, 8 and 8.

01:04:22Well, son of a bitch, on Raw the very next night,

01:04:25Vince comes out, and crows,

01:04:28a tie is just like kissing Dusty.

01:04:31It ain't no good to anybody.

01:04:33Because, you see, the deal was, I said,

01:04:36I said the promotion that wins the majority of the matches

01:04:42is safe from being canned.

01:04:45As you can see, 50% is not a majority.

01:04:50That means, WCW roster, you're done.

01:04:53You're fired. You're vapor.

01:04:55History in the archives, finished, kaput, over with.

01:04:59Get out of my fucking building.

01:05:01But out comes Ric Flair.

01:05:03Says, you weren't very good at math in school, were you, Vince?

01:05:07For a billionaire, or at least on paper,

01:05:10you can't count very well.

01:05:12Because, you see, it's true,

01:05:14the results of all the matches that you gave,

01:05:16but you forgot one thing.

01:05:18When I beat you,

01:05:21I got five minutes with Eric Bischoff.

01:05:25And I beat Eric Bischoff in quick fashion.

01:05:29That counts as a match.

01:05:31Because of you, Vince McMahon,

01:05:34WCW won the majority of the matches.

01:05:38Now you can't fire us.

01:05:40You're stuck with us.

01:05:42Vince's head blows up,

01:05:45and everything goes to fucking WWE.

01:05:48But now we've got two programs,

01:05:50Monday and Thursday,

01:05:51with two separate crews.

01:05:53Everybody you want to keep gets integrated.

01:05:55And now, Vince and Ric Flair,

01:05:58in the brand new revamped WWE,

01:06:00are at each other's throats

01:06:02as Flair moves out of the ring

01:06:04and into the position of a general manager.

01:06:08I'm not going to say anything bad about Vickie Guerrero.

01:06:10I don't know the lady.

01:06:11But instead of some of the other general managers

01:06:14that they've had,

01:06:15you've got Ric Flair as one general manager.

01:06:19You've got fucking Bischoff,

01:06:21if we want to do that,

01:06:23or whatever the fuck.

01:06:24So you've still got really fucking experienced,

01:06:27heavy talkers in those positions.

01:06:30But Flair says,

01:06:32we do have to be a part of the WWE.

01:06:34I'm going to make your life hell, Vince.

01:06:36And Vince's turned red.

01:06:38And here we go off again.

01:06:40After a year,

01:06:42we've rehabbed WCW enough

01:06:45to hopefully do two million buys.

01:06:48Because fuck.

01:06:49You know, Jesus Christ.

01:06:52And at the same time,

01:06:53we've got the ratings,

01:06:54hopefully as peaked on Monday and Thursday

01:06:56as they're going to be.

01:06:57Hopefully we've had a tremendous run of house shows.

01:07:00Now the house shows are always separate.

01:07:03But we don't want to fuck with that

01:07:04because if you do it too much,

01:07:06you know,

01:07:07just every show.

01:07:09But you've got your dream matches out of the way.

01:07:13You've positioned your younger talent.

01:07:14You've got money in developmental.

01:07:16You've got ratings on Monday and Thursday,

01:07:18hopefully peaked.

01:07:19You've drawn your big buy rate.

01:07:21And now you've got your next year planned

01:07:23with all of these guys

01:07:24that are now going to be challenging

01:07:26for these fucking titles

01:07:27that the legend like Steve Austin

01:07:29can now be working with fucking Kurt Angle

01:07:32or Chris Benoit,

01:07:33who have proven themselves.

01:07:34Or fucking Triple H and Booker.

01:07:37You've got Edge and Christian now

01:07:39who can come over here

01:07:40and fucking zap the fucking Dudleys if they want.

01:07:43Or you've got the fucking Nova and Jerry Lynn

01:07:46that can come down and work with the Hardys

01:07:48but they can be in the fucking bigger matches.

01:07:51So you've got Warriors and Steiners

01:07:54to reprise as a Legends match.

01:07:56You get your belts off the Warriors

01:07:57because that's a short time thing.

01:07:59Probably put it to the Dudleys

01:08:00and they work with Edge and Christian.

01:08:02Nova and Jerry Lynn are going to do some good shit.

01:08:05Jeff Jarrett and Dustin Rhodes are a good fucking team.

01:08:07Or maybe Jeff splits off on his own

01:08:09and chases that Intercontinental title.

01:08:13Undertaker is still a fucking resident locker room enforcer.

01:08:18But he's got a bunch of young kids.

01:08:20Brock Lesnar is coming along.

01:08:22Hopefully Brock won't go fucking insane

01:08:24and figure just because he's getting paid

01:08:26a million dollars a year

01:08:27it's a bother to leave home four days a week.

01:08:31Fuck.

01:08:33I remember back in the day, Kroc,

01:08:34when you used to have to leave the home

01:08:35only four days a week.

01:08:36Jesus Christ.

01:08:37Well, see, in this book,

01:08:38Jim Kordett's Midnight Express 25th Anniversary,

01:08:41actually, hold on.

01:08:43I will find real quickly just one example.

01:08:47If I may just flip,

01:08:48I'm just going to vamp for a second.

01:08:52I believe it was about this time here

01:08:55we asked for the time off.

01:08:56I want to tell you what...

01:08:57Available at jimkordett.com.

01:08:59Available at jimkordett.com.

01:09:01Oh, golly, when was it?

01:09:03For the low price of...

01:09:04For the low price of only $25

01:09:06plus $5 shipping and handling.

01:09:07And it is a heavy book.

01:09:08You can testify to the weight of the book.

01:09:10Worth every penny.

01:09:12Oh, yes, October 16th, 1984.

01:09:16We had been working since July

01:09:18in a stretch of 103 days.

01:09:21The Midnight Express had seven days off.

01:09:23And I, since I was also doing TV promos

01:09:25and managing Dr. Death at the time,

01:09:27had no days off.

01:09:29103 days in a row,

01:09:30double shots most Sundays.

01:09:32Anybody that now in the business

01:09:33has done mine or mine's work four days a week

01:09:36can kiss my big fat ass.

01:09:38But anyway, so basically, you know,

01:09:42fuck, I don't know if that would have worked.

01:09:44Obviously, a lot of...

01:09:45There would have been politics coming to play

01:09:47and we're just jacking off, fantasizing here.

01:09:49But by the same token,

01:09:51that would have been a lot fucking better

01:09:53than what they did with what they had.

01:09:54I'm sorry.

01:09:55How hard was that?

01:09:57Vince?

01:09:58I had three days.

01:09:59Actually, three nights to think about it.

01:10:01I drove 700 miles yesterday

01:10:02and then sat down for a couple hours and fiddled.

01:10:05But, you know, once again,

01:10:07we can put shit down on a board here

01:10:12and there's so much politics

01:10:13and people would get hurt

01:10:15and people wouldn't want to do

01:10:16what you wanted them to do

01:10:18and personal issues would come into play

01:10:19and this would never actually happen.

01:10:21However, having said that,

01:10:23the concept could have happened

01:10:26and you might not go as far with it

01:10:28as what we did

01:10:29by just hauling things out of thin air,

01:10:31but the concept could have happened

01:10:33or they could have made an attempt at it

01:10:35or they could have spent the money up front

01:10:37to get the stars,

01:10:38to have the dream matches.

01:10:39What would that video...

01:10:40I mean, if we just had those matches right there,

01:10:43how many videos would that sell?

01:10:45How many pay-per-views would that sell?

01:10:47How long would people talk about that?

01:10:50But it would have required

01:10:52putting another promotion on the same level

01:10:55as the WWF

01:10:57and that's what has been the problem.

01:10:59And that was the same thing,

01:11:00to be quite honest.

01:11:02When Jim Crockett bought Bill Watson's territory,

01:11:07the guys were not presented at the same level

01:11:10and I was not...

01:11:13I didn't have enough seniority in the business at the time

01:11:17to have been privy to

01:11:19what talks went on,

01:11:21but I never did understand it

01:11:22because there should have been

01:11:23some money made there somewhere.

01:11:25But it was not botched on anywhere near

01:11:28a level as this deal was.

01:11:30One time in history...

01:11:31And by the way, here's the thing,

01:11:32who the fuck is CWIWI?

01:11:34What is CWIWI?

01:11:36Anybody.

01:11:37Listen to these names that they fucking signed.

01:11:40I don't want to embarrass anybody,

01:11:44but they basically,

01:11:45they signed everybody they could get

01:11:47for a fucking ham sandwich and a cup of coffee

01:11:49and they left the guys that would sell the tickets

01:11:51sitting home.

01:11:53Buy them out.

01:11:54I mean,

01:11:55less than three years later,

01:11:58he was paying several guys,

01:12:00seven figures a year.

01:12:02Why not fucking do it there?

01:12:04Yeah.

01:12:05You get one shot in history to have the...

01:12:08And now let's go down

01:12:11and just count the number of people

01:12:14that are still active

01:12:16even for a one or two shot thing in the wrestling business.

01:12:19Steve Austin's not going to work again.

01:12:22Terry Funk pretty well means it this time.

01:12:25Rock, there's three.

01:12:27Hogan, probably four.

01:12:29I don't think Dusty's wrestled again, five.

01:12:32Flair said he's going to honor it, six.

01:12:35Vince ain't having another match.

01:12:36Well, let's say six still

01:12:37because you never know with Vince.

01:12:39God bless Hawk, seven.

01:12:43Animal doesn't work.

01:12:45Does Animal work anymore?

01:12:47Maybe eight.

01:12:49God bless Eddie, nine.

01:12:52Nobody knows where Saturn is, 10.

01:12:55Dean's retired, bad neck, 11.

01:12:57Chris, 12.

01:13:02Bam Bam, 13.

01:13:04Benoit, 14.

01:13:08Brock, too.

01:13:09Brock, well, yeah, what am I thinking about?

01:13:11Where was I at, 14, 15.

01:13:20Trish.

01:13:21Trish, 16.

01:13:2316 fucking people off that card from eight years ago

01:13:27are no longer in the business

01:13:30in some respect or another,

01:13:32so it ain't going to happen.

01:13:35And half of this side is done.

01:13:39And Lita.

01:13:41Devin Storm.

01:13:42Not Devin Storm, Lance Storm.

01:13:44Oh, Lance Storm.

01:13:45Devin Storm.

01:13:46Hey, Devin Storm, I like Devin Storm, too.

01:13:49But anyway, yeah, so the point is,

01:13:51you know, it ain't going to happen now,

01:13:52and dream matches are few and far between.

01:13:55I don't mean to keep harping on it,

01:13:57and I will let you say something,

01:13:58but those matches aren't going to happen anymore,

01:14:01and what dream match now is there possible in the business

01:14:04that has not taken place that could?

01:14:06Today?

01:14:07Today, right now.

01:14:10Everybody's met.

01:14:12Because they all were, well, now, thank God for TNA.

01:14:15You know, here's one thing.

01:14:16I almost thought about not picking Jeff Jarrett up at all

01:14:20on the roster, because if he had continued on,

01:14:24he would not have founded TNA,

01:14:26and right now Vince would own the entire fucking wrestling business,

01:14:29and he'd already be down in Mexico

01:14:31fucking their business up,

01:14:32and over in Japan fucking their,

01:14:33oh, I forgot he is.

01:14:34But anyway.

01:14:36So I almost thought about saying,

01:14:38fuck, no, I'm not going to pick up Jeff,

01:14:39because then there'd be no TNA,

01:14:41but in a fantasy world, you know, why not?

01:14:44But everybody's met.

01:14:46Everybody works for mostly the same person.

01:14:48The people that have the seniority for dream matches

01:14:52have already either met and then retired,

01:14:54or there ain't no Andre and Hulk Hogan anymore.

01:14:57There's no WrestleMania III main event.

01:14:59We created some there,

01:15:01but that was the window they had, and they blew it.

01:15:03That's all I'm going to say.

01:15:04About that.

01:15:05That's all he's going to say.

01:15:06That's it?

01:15:07That's all?

01:15:08Because I don't want to get long-winded or anything.

01:15:10Well, thank you for the amount of work you put into this.

01:15:12Are you kidding?

01:15:14It took me probably a grand total of about four hours.

01:15:18I used to put eight hours to ten hours

01:15:21two days in a row into my Ohio Valley Wrestling TV,

01:15:25and that wasn't even on paperback.

01:15:26I appreciate it.

01:15:27It was on WBKI 7 in fucking Louisville.

01:15:29I appreciate every minute of the four hours.

01:15:32I had fun.

01:15:33I haven't booked anything in a while.

01:15:34I went to Booker's Anonymous.

01:15:36It's a 12-step program.

01:15:37You have to answer every wrestling-related question

01:15:40with I don't give a shit.

01:15:43200 hours of Smoky Mountain TV in every house show for four years.

01:15:46300 weekly episodes of Ohio Valley Wrestling

01:15:49in every house show for six years.

01:15:52The WCW booking committee for six months dealing with H.E.R.D.

01:15:55Two years on Vince's creative team.

01:16:00I went up there.

01:16:01I said, well, Bruce Prichard, me and Bruce.

01:16:03I said, what do we do?

01:16:04Come on over to the house.

01:16:05We're going to work.

01:16:06I get to Bruce's house, right?

01:16:08We spent the whole morning playing with his dog.

01:16:09We'd throw the stick.

01:16:10The dog would run, get it, come back.

01:16:11Then we went to the pizza place down the street from his house

01:16:13for fucking lunch.

01:16:14Then we'd come back and we'd watch fucking Phil Donahue

01:16:16or Oprah Winfrey or some shit.

01:16:18I said, why are we not writing TVs?

01:16:21Well, we can't do anything until Vince tells us to do it

01:16:23or we know he likes it.

01:16:25Elsewise, we're just wasting our time.

01:16:27I said, then why are we sitting at your fucking house?

01:16:29Well, because the office may call,

01:16:30and then it looks like we're working.

01:16:33I said, well, why can't we sit at my fucking house?

01:16:35He said, because I've got seniority over you,

01:16:38and I'm your boss.

01:16:39I said, all right.

01:16:40So every day I'd sit at fucking Bruce's house,

01:16:42and on Wednesday we would go to Vince's house

01:16:44where we'd sit there at his dining room table

01:16:46and actually write the show.

01:16:48Then the rest of the week we'd sit over at Bruce's house.

01:16:51Then JJ quit, and they put Bruce in the office.

01:16:53Here's the deal.

01:16:54I go to Stanford.

01:16:55I move into an apartment in Stanford

01:16:57that they're renting for me until I can find a house, right?

01:17:00It's in Stanford.

01:17:01Bruce lives 30 miles out in Trumbull.

01:17:04So every morning I'd go out 30 miles to Bruce's house,

01:17:08sit there, play with his dog, eat the pizza,

01:17:10and fucking come back.

01:17:11This goes on for three months.

01:17:13Well, fuck it.

01:17:14When I finally found a house,

01:17:15I found a house right out in Monroe, Trumbull.

01:17:18You know, I'm like five miles from Bruce, right?

01:17:20I move in.

01:17:22Three weeks later, JJ quits and leaves.

01:17:24They put Bruce in the office.

01:17:25Now every morning...

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