Credit: SWNS / Kristen Beatty
A cancer survivor revealed her do's and don'ts for what to say to a cancer patient - after being told to "look on the bright side" during her treatment.
Kristen Beatty, 33, was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma - a type of cancer that forms in the immune system - after experiencing chest pain.
She underwent chemotherapy and was given the all clear a year later.
Kristen shares her story online and gives advice on how to address the topic of cancer.
In light of the recent news of the The Princess of Wales' recent diagnosis, Kristen feels she would have had to have been "selfless in the way she told her family".
A cancer survivor revealed her do's and don'ts for what to say to a cancer patient - after being told to "look on the bright side" during her treatment.
Kristen Beatty, 33, was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma - a type of cancer that forms in the immune system - after experiencing chest pain.
She underwent chemotherapy and was given the all clear a year later.
Kristen shares her story online and gives advice on how to address the topic of cancer.
In light of the recent news of the The Princess of Wales' recent diagnosis, Kristen feels she would have had to have been "selfless in the way she told her family".
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00A couple people have asked me, what do you do if a friend or family member or someone you're close with is diagnosed with cancer, like, what can you do?
00:09And there's a lot. So, I'm going to make a couple parts to this.
00:13My first and foremost advice is to be there for the person.
00:18Let them know that you are in their corner on the hard days, on the crappy days, on the easy days, on the days they're frustrated, on the days they're stressed.
00:25Make sure that they know that you are there for them.
00:28And bonus points if you can do this without saying the words, let me know what I can do or how can I help you.
00:35Because while those questions are, like, I know they're coming from a good place, they're actually putting the burden on the cancer patient to come up with something, some way for you to help.
00:47And they're really just focused on surviving and doing their thing.
00:52They don't need that burden.
00:54There are things you can do, though.
00:56If you're going to the park, maybe give them a call and say, hey, I'm going to the park, do you want me to pick up your dog, your kids, take them away for an hour or two so you have time to do whatever you need to do?
01:07Or, hey, I'm going to the grocery store, I know you like XYZ, do you want me to pick it up for you?
01:13Or, hey, I'm not doing anything tonight, how about I come over and help you clean up some things around the house?
01:19Those things are helpful.
01:21My next piece of advice is to listen.
01:24Allow that person a safe and open space to vent, cry, yell, be angry, be stressed, have happy moments, share great things, share sad things, all of the emotions that come with finding out that you are now fighting for your life.
01:41Allow that safe and open space.
01:43And also, I really mean listen.
01:46I don't mean try to offer advice.
01:49Because unless you have actually gone through cancer, chemo, radiation, whatever, there's not much you can say to make it better.
01:59But just by listening and being an active listener and letting them have the safe space does make it better.
02:06My third piece of advice is to be there for them.
02:09And you may be thinking, Kristen, you already said that, that was your first piece.
02:12I mean it.
02:14Be there for them.
02:15And keep being there for them.
02:17Because after the first month or so of finding out you have cancer and sharing it with the world, the number of people who show up goes down.
02:27All those people in the beginning who were like, I'm here for you, I'm here for you, I got you, whatever, they disappear.
02:33So if you want to be a great friend or family member or loved one, continue to be there for that person.