Love Off The Grid S02E01 (2024)
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00:00You
00:22Good no
00:30I'm loving the married life living on the homestead has absolutely brought us closer together. I love everything about Joe
00:37I love his looks. I love his mind
00:40My she's a queen. She's
00:43Intelligent in ways that I'm not
00:46We just look at you other looking here and right, you know, I love the fuck out of you. I
00:52Met my a Sean line almost a year ago. It was difficult finding someone with a mind open to homesteading
01:01And when I first got out here, I was scared
01:05See what all I've built for us I do where are we sleeping? I was just standing outside in this big-ass field
01:14You were sleeping in a tent I was like fuck this shit, but we made the best of it
01:20Oh
01:24There you go good job
01:26At first I was very nervous about putting the homestead together. I honestly thought to myself. He can't do this shit. He lying
01:33But watching him build every day. I started to say okay. I believe it and now there's a whole house
01:41This is what he built for me and for us and for our future family
01:46This is my kingdom, I've got 24 acres out here a bunch of open pasture got him running creek and a pond
01:56The best part of this lifestyle is the freedom it ain't home if you can't piss off your front porch
02:02This is absolutely the only way I can see myself living life
02:07I'm like so glad we have a bathroom now. I'm
02:11Ecstatic to not be shitting in a bucket for the shower. That's the next step after the sheetrock. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely ready for that
02:18You're gonna be able to share it with someone
02:21We're gonna share everything so it's all good
02:24You do have a point there
02:27Misha and I are looking for another woman to join us in our household. We're looking for somebody else to join our relationship
02:34Somebody that meshes with both of us someone that's gonna come help us grow this property
02:39I'm way pickier than you. All right, like if you're a bad kisser red flag
02:45You're not gonna be doing that
02:48Polly Emery is no more sex based in monogamy. We just may enjoy it more
02:53You like everybody anyone that will entertain you this
02:59Homestead idea and then I hand them over to you and you right and then they come out here and they be like, oh my god
03:04I can't do this and I'm like bye
03:07Our goal was to have multiple partners on the homestead
03:11But all the relationships we've had this past year have fallen apart rather quickly
03:19Suburban upper-middle-class couples have trouble finding thirds and they you know, live in nice houses and drive Cadillacs
03:25We have a tiny home in the middle of nowhere in Alabama. I
03:32Got it
03:34I'm usually the one who notices like the red flags
03:38Sometimes they're just hearing his plan out because realistically he has a huge dick
03:43If they're just trying to get laid, they're not thinking about the rest of that stuff
03:47You got to pull your weight. You got to show that you're willing to give just as much as we do. Oh
03:55My fucking thumb was right there. I'm still a city girl. I still don't like outside
04:00You think I want to be outside watering damn 75 trees I do not but you don't have to get your ass out there and
04:06Do it
04:08You should be happy yeah, cuz I don't pick lightly so if I am that means I'm making a good choice
04:17Let's just hope Lauren works out she was hard enough to find on her own
04:20I
04:27Am Lauren, I'm 29 years old and I live just outside of Atlanta, Georgia
04:33What are we gonna be doing with their hair today?
04:36Maybe we can curl it
04:38Yeah, absolutely
04:40We met Lauren online. She's just a little cutie pie. He showed me her pictures
04:45She had her cowgirl boots on and she had Daisy Dukes and I was like, okay
04:52What'd you call her fear of us? You're a little pair of faucet
04:56She started messaging me and talking to me and then we started talking about shit and laughing and I was just like we vibe
05:02I think my ish is gorgeous and she's just got this great personality. She's hilarious
05:09She makes me laugh and I think that's super attractive as far as Joe goes
05:13I like the beard and the long hair
05:17his mountain man look
05:19The first time we hung out here in Atlanta
05:22Everything was was awesome. There was an instant connection between all three of us. She and my issue got along really well
05:28There was no awkwardness
05:30it was like we just dove right into getting to know each other on a pretty deep level it felt like and
05:36I was feeling really really positive and really excited about what the possibilities could be after that
05:42Awesome, thank you, Cora. Thank you, Lauren
05:46Growing up I've mostly been in like suburbs and in the city
05:50But on some levels it actually has always been a dream of mine to live off-grid. I
05:59Really enjoy gardening I love growing veggies herbs
06:03I love doing like DIY projects and when I heard about their property, it was just really appealing
06:12Lauren is it seems very interested in this homesteading idea. I don't want to lose that potential
06:17So we've invited her to the property to see if she can fit in well out here
06:21I hope that she really enjoys the property and she's willing to be out here permanently because a lot of people can't do it
06:30I'm coming into this situation with a really open mind
06:34I'm really excited about spending more time together getting to know each other, but I'm also extremely nervous
06:40I would be moving further away from my family and
06:45They do think living off-grid doesn't make sense. My biggest fears that I'd be so far from home feeling very alone
06:54You're asking somebody to give up the life that they've been used to to moving off the grid
06:59I would be giving up a lot. I have never had to let go of all the amenities that I love
07:06I don't know that I could
07:10I
07:22Welcome to my swimming pool
07:27In this mud pool
07:31He's got a lot of snapping turtles, but it's really beautiful I
07:36Am Arunia, I'm 38 years old and I live off the grid in Northeast, Missouri
07:44This is my naked wall because I love being naked
07:50Every day I celebrate the female form
07:53It's so comfortable and freeing being out here in nature
07:57But living off-grid there are things about it. That's really tough. I
08:02Get water in these jugs here and I will have to haul them down the path
08:08I'm an hour away from the closest town
08:12Being this far away from everything you don't have aisles of food in the grocery store
08:18So there's a lot to be done and nobody's gonna help me with that
08:23Drilling holes filling them with the spores and when the weather is just right you have mushroom logs
08:31For entertainment, it's not like I can just like go to the movies or go to the bar
08:35if you want to live out here, you got to be okay with
08:39watching the sunset like
08:41That's it
08:45This is not an easy life, but for me it's never been easy
08:51Originally, I was born in Lithuania
08:54Most nights I went to bed totally hungry
08:57As I got older I moved around quite a bit and I was married at the time
09:03But as soon as I got divorced, it was like I knew it was time for me to really discover what I needed
09:10I wanted to be in a place. That was like healing for my soul and
09:16I ended up coming to a community out here
09:20But after some time there I decided I needed something that was my own
09:25And there was something magical that happened when I came here
09:29After a very short time. I kind of knew like this was it. This is the place
09:35Doing a little bit more physical work than the normal person, but seeing the flowers
09:40Watching the stars
09:42All the owl sounds and the coyotes at night
09:45I discovered what really is important and what you can do without
09:50I discovered what really is important and what you can do without
09:55I chose this life because it's unconventional
09:59Whoever comes to live here has got to be on board with that
10:03I've created this garden of eden
10:06And I'm gonna live this way for the rest of my life
10:09But I want to be able to wake up with somebody
10:12Make breakfast together go on a walk. I want to share this life with somebody
10:18And uh, I think I found him
10:22Samuel's 29 years old and he's from florida. I grew up on the gulf coast close to the beach beautiful
10:33People around me is what makes me happy the most the connections I have with my friends and family
10:39I love city life
10:41Going to see live music going to nice restaurant
10:44My real passion is sustainable construction
10:48I needed some help building a treehouse in the off-grid community where I was living
10:53I found a posting online that wanted to build a treehouse and I thought that sounded like a lot of fun
11:02When I first saw runia I definitely felt a strong connection the first thing that I noticed was his
11:08Crazy wavy hair and then he was always smiling. I thought we would make some cute babies
11:14Rooney and I worked really well together while we're not flirting. I think we got a lot of good work done
11:19He just has this like positivity. There's just all these things that were like check check check check check check check
11:25First I was just meeting her I was coming to build a treehouse with her. I was like I can't
11:30Be attracted to my host. We're both trying to be kind of professional about the situation
11:35But that didn't last very long
11:37And let's just be real
11:40The sex it was like a freight train
11:44Aronia has a really great natural beauty to her
11:48And anything simple thing she does I feel so much attraction to who she is
11:53It was really instant that guards just like fell away
11:58He made me feel so safe, I don't know if I've felt that with anybody in my entire life
12:07but
12:08Towards the end of the treehouse build
12:11I could tell that samuel was not feeling comfortable with this lifestyle
12:15Everything kind of became unhinged and fell apart
12:19And then he left
12:21He just was
12:22Like, okay. Yeah, like I wasn't ready for this
12:26everything happened really fast with aronia and
12:29living off grid it was
12:31Not something I expected
12:34It was hard being in the same place for a long time i'm used to seeing new things and meeting new people around town
12:42And at times I was working against some forces of nature
12:46I got a tick and it burrowed deep
12:50It took us over an hour to to really dig it out. It was painful
12:54I don't know if it's gonna get infected or if i'm gonna get a disease and so after that in my mind it's coming to
13:01Am I ready for this am I ready to live in the middle of nowhere and I wasn't
13:08But there's always been a strong pull between me and runia
13:12And over the years we stayed in touch
13:15I really have a love for her that i've never felt before
13:19Aronia is a very powerful force of nature and i'm a really
13:24Mellow guy, but my calm energy and her strong personality really complement each other. Well, um
13:30the water she's the fire and there's always been part of me that wanted to stay there and could
13:36See us building a beautiful life together. And so i'm
13:39Going back to live with the love of my life off the grid
13:45This is the kind of thing that will make sam crazy
13:49is
13:50He would see something like this and say
13:53Do your chicken eggs have to have chicken shit on it?
13:58I
14:00Want samuel to adapt to this lifestyle because I want him to be my partner and be part of this thing that i've created
14:08But if he leaves again, it'll be heartbreaking
14:12This lifestyle is very much in arunia's heart and soul, but it's not as natural for me
14:18I'm a man of the 21st century
14:21I'm giving up everything i'm used to
14:23Electricity and the internet and having a hot shower at the end of the day my friends and family
14:29Only time will tell if love is enough to overcome those things
14:36I'm, so excited about him coming out here for me success would be he stays we get married
14:43But more than anything I want to have a baby soon. I know that samuel is capable because
14:49Last time he was here. I got pregnant and I was just overjoyed
15:09Baby this remind you of the old days
15:11I'm so glad we're here. This is so beautiful. My hands are you're so beautiful
15:19It was 29 years ago when I asked jen to go to a waterfall and I love her just as much now as I did then
15:26I'm blessed to have places like this around where I live
15:32It's good to be back, huh, it's surreal that we even would be back here
15:37Remember when we first went up the only pickup line I had was the one that was in the middle of the river
15:42And I was like, oh, I'm so glad we're here
15:45I'm so glad we're here
15:47I'm so glad we're here
15:49I'm so glad we're here
15:51Back here. Remember when we first went up the only pickup line I had was you ever seen a waterfall?
15:59I was young and dumb, but I didn't like you at the very beginning. Remember? I know you didn't like me. Yeah, you grew on me
16:12A fateful decision you made there I guess yeah two fateful decisions
16:17I
16:19Wouldn't mean to because I let you go
16:25Charlie and I met when we were super young
16:28We had a great relationship
16:30And then we went and lived our separate lives
16:32I got married had four children
16:35And he moved back to the mountain
16:39There was a place in my heart for this place
16:43I'm just glad you made it back
16:45I know I wasn't planning on it
16:48now
16:49I'm accepting the mountain again
16:51And accepting this lifestyle and accepting you
16:54I never would have seen that coming crazy
16:57Had we known then what we know now
17:01I felt like I needed to at least try living with charlie here on the mountain
17:06So I decided to have the boys stay with their dad
17:09And left my life in florida
17:16Welcome home jen
17:18The toilet is right next to the bed
17:21I'm, so scared right now
17:24That's disgusting going things out
17:31I have found out about myself that I can handle it up here on the mountain
17:37And I found that I really do love it
17:40It's so peaceful
17:43Looking out at the mountains
17:45The vastness of that and when the clouds come down below the mountaintops
17:51It's breathtaking
17:54The biggest dilemma that we have is
17:57This separation this geographical separation
18:00being split from you know going back and forth from
18:04here
18:05Back to florida taking care of my kids. It's like it's almost like living two different lives in a way
18:13Jen is definitely loving my life
18:17There's one big problem she's got four sons out here in florida
18:21Right now the boys are back home with their dad
18:25And naturally at least some of the time she wants them here on the mountain
18:31Honestly, it is exhausting going back and forth. It's tiring. So I want to be able to bring the boys up here when I come
18:38Okay, like I can't make a full commitment
18:41Until I have that
18:43Let's get them up here, you know, and it's summer. It's a perfect time for them to come up here, right?
18:48So we can kind of look and see their reactions see what they think
18:54I need the boys to be up here with me some of the time for this relationship to work, but
19:00Ultimately the boys have to like it up here and want to be here
19:06My heart truly
19:08Truly wants their buy-in
19:12But what if
19:16They hate it, you know
19:21What what then what about us if the boys don't like it my heart's gonna be split
19:28It's like I won't leave my children and I don't want to leave you
19:32And you and I and I'm pulled both in both directions
19:36You've got two young men that are in school. I'm gonna it's gonna be two years four years for Tyrion
19:42How much time will we actually get to spend together?
19:46If they hate it and they don't want to ever be here
19:50How would I build a life here completely? I can't choose you over them and I've thought about like, okay
19:57Would it be easier to walk away
20:00There you go
20:06You know if Jen said Charlie I just can't do it
20:11Dang I haven't prepared my heart for that. I
20:19Don't know what I'd do
20:22It's risky because I love you and I want my kids to love it here
20:30So that I'm not split
20:32right, so
20:34My heart is is on the line
20:36Understand the boys do not want to come here
20:38Then I have to spend more time in Florida and then if the more time we spend apart the harder it is to actually stay
20:44together
20:45realistically
20:50Well, I hope I get them to like it
20:59I
21:09Favorite part about an earthship is that you can walk on your roof and up here you have amazing views
21:17I'm Ryan. I'm 45 years old. I live in Carson, New Mexico
21:22I
21:24Love living off-grid. There is a sense of freedom without cities
21:30I would describe myself as
21:32adaptable
21:33When you're living off-grid you're working 12
21:3715 hour days natural building is strenuous, but being part of this land
21:42that's really important to me and
21:45What I've dedicated my life to
21:49I'm a veteran. I was in the Army Reserves for about eight years and I was Intel in psychological operations
21:56When I was in Afghanistan, there was a guy who took my place on a mission
22:01that vehicle
22:03Hit an IED
22:05They all died
22:07And I came back with that guilt
22:11And
22:16It was it was tough to reintegrate into life everything seemed hollow
22:21And the first time I came here
22:23And the first time I came here
22:25I took this winding road to get here and it leveled off into this desert
22:32And there was sunflowers and desert flowers and tarantulas going across the road
22:37There was a rainbow in the distance and there was mountains as far as the eye could see and I fell in love
22:44with the environment
22:47We have about a million and a half acres of national forests all around us
22:52The Rio Grande is four miles away and the stars
22:57You can see the Milky Way from one side of the property to the other
23:01I just remember having goosebumps all over my body because it reminded me of being in Afghanistan
23:10But this lifestyle is hard
23:13Like I've almost died in the winter
23:16There was a bomb cyclone, which is basically a hurricane made of snow knocked down my bathroom building I had just built
23:25It's like the mountain tests you and it's like damn are you gonna leave? Yeah, are you gonna leave now? Damn?
23:32Are you gonna leave now? I
23:35Love nature and I love solitude, but I still miss people
23:41Finding someone who wants to share this particular lifestyle. It's like a needle in a haystack
23:49That's why Shayla she's my dream come true
23:56Bring to your mind's eye the visualization of a beautiful glowing orb of light
24:02I'm Shayla. I'm 24 years old. I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico
24:07You might start to feel some energy moving
24:12I am a professional
24:15Metaphysical practitioner and what's the most important element in this journey? Well, it's faith. I
24:21Read Tarot. I study the stars otherwise known as astrology and I do metaphysical coaching. I
24:29Met Ryan online
24:31And so we went out for coffee one morning I felt a strong connection I was magnetically
24:38Attracted he was tall dark handsome. I was like, oh, this is kind of like somebody out of a storybook or like a romance novel
24:45I'm interested
24:48She was half my age when I met her, but she had this level of maturity about her
24:53And this passion for life and I was like, wow
24:58Wow
25:01I feel what she feels and
25:04She's like you're feeling this way. I'm like, how did you know that?
25:08he's the first person that I've actually feel like I can just melt into and
25:13Actually experience true love with it's like we're one person
25:18I've never found that
25:20Things have been moving very fast very fast very deep right away
25:24We had been dating about nine months
25:27We climbed a mountain that mountain over there
25:3013,000 feet elevation and
25:33Once we figured out that we both liked each other. It was like, okay, that's great. Let's go and
25:41So I invited her out to come live on this property with me
25:47I've been living in the home of very dear friends of mine for a little over a year
25:54My life here in Santa Fe could not be more different than Ryan's off-grid lifestyle
25:59I love so many things about this home
26:02The amount of space I have inside and outside
26:05There are so many luxuries at my fingertips the heated pool in the backyard the indoor spa
26:12My favorite luxury in this home is the hot tub having a body of water to just like submerge myself in
26:22So are you excited when I think about it I get overwhelmed
26:26But I know that excitement and overwhelm or come from the same place, yeah
26:31I'm sacrificing a lot in this move. I'm sacrificing convenience. I'm sacrificing many luxuries. I
26:40Don't have a 5,000 square foot mansion. I don't have a swimming pool. I don't have a beach
26:45She's giving up a lot to be here
26:48So you're gonna be digging holes in front of the house to poop not me
26:56Fear there is my energy going to all go towards staying alive hauling water
27:02building structures so we can grow food in the middle of
27:06nowhere I
27:08Don't think this is the type of hard work. She likes to do but things don't get done here unless we have hands to do them
27:18This is something she has to accept I do feel like we have a lot on the line
27:23Because this is kind of like the ultimate test like can we make it work can we actually merge our lives together
27:29To have someone that I love this much and it not work out. That would be pretty terrible for me
27:36But this is my life
27:39It's my passion
27:41so
27:42I'm not leaving from here
27:45And I'll do this till I die
27:52I
28:00Guess you're gonna name that
28:04It's one of my favorites
28:05No, I need to use it for a few minutes. You always been using it. Well, so you had to catch fish like always there
28:13Jeremy and I are like double first cousins. I
28:17Can't see the tide. I need you to tie it over you getting old
28:21I'll catch more fish than you will. Yeah, that's true
28:24He's just a brother. We grew up about three miles from each other and our whole lives hunting and fishing
28:30It's always been known back at the house. If you can't find me call Jeremy
28:40Remember that time we went camping down there at the Peters branch where the water was freezing that trip
28:46Yeah, that boys his shoes burn off his feet in the fire yeah, his feet was smoking
28:55Literally smoking
28:58It was part of growing up me and Charlie we got into a lot of stuff that people don't know a lot of people do
29:04Know that I'm hoping we'll keep their mouths shut the rest of their lives
29:07I'm not gonna say too much because I'm not gonna incriminate myself
29:11You
29:12Remember surfing on top of the car down that dirt road down the mountain that wasn't by choice
29:16I forgot I was up there. That's what you get making fun of me
29:21We really did do some wild stuff. There's some really dumb shit
29:34Because we've shared a lot of the same lifestyles
29:37Jeremy is my confidant. He was instrumental when Jen and I met
29:42So the boys are moving up this way, is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah, it's about to go down
29:47Really? So are they planning on moving here full-time? I mean, this is what y'all are doing not yet
29:52I would like for them all to but they got a daddy down there and a grandma and another grandma on family
29:59What I want to do is get him where they experience what we did with a little excitement
30:05You know what I mean? Yes
30:07Culture here is a lot different
30:09These boys have to do certain things to be on a mountain understand it and to love it if it was up to me
30:15Completely I'd put them in the tent. Let them help me build place
30:19Go the bathroom experience what it takes to be on on the property without anything
30:25Jen's kind of torn because she don't want them to be in an uncomfortable situation
30:31Where they don't like it and I get that part
30:34It's like we can rent an RV. We can get a house over there on the hill
30:39Then they come over see it. So I'm like that's not experiencing the mountain. That's being on vacation
30:45Right. It's like dang. They need to go through it man. They got to go through it. That's what builds your character builds who you are
30:53Jen and I are about to make some
30:55very big
30:57Decisions and those decisions directly influence those four young men. I
31:03Want these boys to be here so badly because I know this is the best place on earth to be
31:10But if the boys make a decision that they do not like the mountain it could create an emotional roadblock between Jennifer
31:17Hi, I mean it. Do you really think Jen's gonna let them experience what we did? I
31:24Guarantee there's a lot less stuff they can get into here than in Florida
31:28No matter what the dangers might be at least they ain't on the streets somewhere
31:32Teach your kids to hunt you ain't gotta hunt your kids. That's the truth
31:36But at the same time she's not just gonna turn you loose with them. I just don't believe Jim's gonna do that
31:42It'd be great if she did I just don't think it's happening. Well, that was a good cast right there
31:48Thank you
31:50Talking to myself. Oh
31:53What we experienced up here growing up camping out doing those sort of thing made us who we are
31:58What he turns you into is a man. I hope Jen's willing to trust Charlie me
32:03Let them get out experience the wild little experience the outdoors. Let them
32:08Be free. It's my freedom
32:12If you want to get them to that point we're about love we're gonna do this don't tell your mom, right?
32:17But we both be in trouble
32:19Just
32:22Gonna have to compromise we're both gonna have to compromise because there will be a lot of things Jen will
32:29Not give her blessing on
32:31That we might want to do with the boys
32:34She's a mama bear. She can't make everybody happy. I got a good but right there a good hanging that same rock. No
32:43I'll show him to you in a minute. That's a rock fish
32:50I
32:55Sheila's coming to live here today, and I'm so excited a
33:00little bit nervous, I
33:02Mean, I love her and
33:04This is my dream come true. I
33:07Think she's a little bit nervous. I think she's afraid but all of us who are here. I had to learn the off-grid lifestyle
33:14Hey Richard, how's it going?
33:16Sup, bro, there is a huge learning curve. It takes a long time, but I want her to feel like she's a part of this place
33:24So are you chill about this brother? I?
33:28Mean, this is a pretty bit. This is I don't know what you compare this you carrying the bride across the threshold or something
33:33It's kind of like that. No, I don't I just want her to be happy, but the last couple conversations. I've had is
33:40She's been very very nervous about how she's gonna do here
33:45It's gonna be tough for Sheila going from something so nice to something that is getting nice
33:51I really want her to have everything that she needs. It is a little tough. There's a transition period
34:01Living off-grid, it's just so different than what I'm used to I
34:06Am leaving a life of comfort and I'm literally going to be moving
34:12To the middle of nowhere
34:14But I have to at least try it because I love Ryan and I want to see where this goes I
34:21Want her to thrive here and be able to integrate herself here. It's gonna take a lot of patience
34:27I think a lot of compromise and above all it's gonna take love
34:35Hello
34:37Got you a little something first sunflower from the land. Thanks, babe. Mm-hmm next chapter
34:58I've never met anyone like Shayla. I never want to lose her. I
35:03Don't even want to think about this not working out that would be devastating for me
35:09well
35:10See the side
35:15We've been talking about this for a long time and now that the moment is actually here I'm finding myself speechless I
35:24Have to like shift my mindset with the intention of this being my home and it's still a work in progress
35:31So it does look like there's a lot of chaos and it definitely makes me feel a little bit unsettled
35:37Do you see our new toilet?
35:39this is
35:42No, right
35:45Kidding it's a joke
35:47You
35:55Look at the red on here. I know this looking good ain't it? Hell yeah, I did it you did good
36:02Lauren's coming out today to see the property and see if it makes sense for her to move out here permanently
36:08My goal for Lauren is for her to join our relationship and make this homestead a reality. I'm super excited
36:15You know how like it's the first day of school and you can't go to sleep the night before that's how I feel right now
36:23Mixture of emotions right now very much excited about the possibility of moving out to this property. I
36:33Really like the idea of this lifestyle on a lot of levels. It's just seeing how it all works together between the three of us
36:42I
36:44She's here, baby girl
36:47I'm nervous because it's been like a month since we saw her
36:51There she is. I just want to make sure that we still have the same energy that we had the first time together
36:58All
37:11The mountains and everything I feel like okay, this is gorgeous. Yeah, so you told you
37:16Your lashes look good. Thank you. They like blue or something. Yeah on top
37:22Lauren's cute as a button pretty as a prayer book
37:25Lauren just brings like an energy that makes me feel like she could be great in our relationship
37:30The end goal for everyone is absolutely to have more in living out here
37:33Now this is just gonna be the living space while we build out the homestead
37:43I feel really excited and also pretty nervous the first time we hung out it was
37:50Really laid-back
37:51but this time there's a little bit more on the line for me because I'm
37:56Evaluating if this is somewhere that I could see myself living. These are people that I could see building a future with
38:05I'm willing to go on this journey, but I'm just like moving very slowly into the situation because I don't want to get hurt
38:13It is a gorgeous sunset out here. All right, it's really nice. You got a great spot
38:20There's just something about sitting in a rocket chair in your front porch. I know
38:24I could definitely see myself being out here. It's homey. It's very homey. All right, that's what we're aiming for
38:31It's extremely homey
38:44I can handle nature, but I don't like bugs. Really. I don't mind me
38:50Better my ish is gone from identifying bugs with points instead of screams. It just depend on the bug
39:01Really nice to be back in y'all's presence, you know
39:04I feel like it feels very much just right back to being comfortable in person. I'm glad
39:10I'm glad cuz I was nervous. I was like all the damn
39:14So, where do you want to sleep tonight?
39:19I feel a connection with both of them
39:22But I'm also extremely nervous because I have never been in a poly relationship before at all
39:30it's
39:32very new to me I
39:35Think just like taking a little bit of time. I mean, this is only our second time in person
39:41I want to still hang out and have fun. I just you know, I just want to take it slow
39:45I think slow is good
39:47Getting to know each other
39:49That cool with you. Oh, absolutely. Yeah
39:53I'm a pretty open-minded person and I think there's a lot of support that could be there
39:59There could be a lot of love, but there's definitely a lot of fear
40:03They have been together for a longer amount of time living off-grid. So there's definitely some investigation
40:10It's gonna have to come how I would fit into their day-to-day life
40:14Make it just more comfortable. We can make up a little palette on the couch
40:19Yeah
40:21I'm okay with her sleeping on the couch. It's got to be hard walking into like a couple that's already married
40:27It's important that she feels comfortable
40:30Because if things don't work out then we're back to square one
40:40You
40:42You
41:04Hey, hey, yeah, just finishing brushing my hair and stuff and then I'm gonna pack the rest of myself. I'm almost done
41:12Sorry, what's going on? I mean, I feel like I'm juggling so many different things. I'm going back
41:20I'm juggling there and I'm coming, you know, just to travel back and forth, which is terrible. It's tiring Monday
41:27What's exciting is the boys are coming and we're gonna have a lot of time to spend with them
41:31I'll get to know him a little bit more individually and we're gonna find out what they want here or if they even want to be
41:37here
41:39I'm apprehensive about the boys coming because if the boys don't like it here
41:45that
41:46It's gonna be a challenge. I
41:49Don't know I have to figure out something cuz I can't work. I
41:53Want them to like it so I'm a little concerned about that I understand they're gonna be dealing with the same thing
41:59I was dealing with the change, right? Yeah, I feel the
42:04nervous
42:05Anticipation of that and it is a challenge. I understand that but
42:11everything is not instant gratification, especially here on the mountain and
42:15The elements can be rough
42:17This mountain can be rough. I'm all for the growth
42:21But it's it's much more challenging to bring them here because we don't have a place whether it's a place or not
42:26I want to know how they're gonna react to the mountain. All right, so being in a tent
42:31Learning how to appreciate the tough part. It's gonna make a lot easier for them to handle the mountain. I
42:37Would like to get an RV up here and Charlie wants tents
42:42Sleeping in a tent for extended period of time. That's rough and I don't want it to scare them off. I
42:50Want an RV because it sounds way easier it gives more space it's safer and I'm uncomfortable them sleeping in tents
42:58Because there's bears in these woods it freaks me out
43:03So I know all we have is a tense right now. Okay, but I need you
43:08Help me know. How are you gonna assure me that they're gonna be? Okay, cuz I'm nervous about it. It's gonna be fine
43:13We lived here enough that the bears are used to us. They go around ridiculous. Really? Okay
43:19What if the boys are careless they're eating they throw their something down and there's food here and there's an attraction
43:28They're gonna have to but sometimes they make mistakes
43:34One of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in nature is a mama bird how she feeds and coddles her children
43:42Until the point that she pushes them literally pushes them out of the nest and then everybody just moves on
43:49As a human it's it's really the same kind of situation
43:53We're all gonna be adults one day and that process of learning and moving and changing and growing
44:00Can be difficult and sometimes tragic but at some point you gotta
44:05Gotta push them out of the nest
44:07We knew we were gonna have these challenges. I'm leaving. I'm a little bit sad a little emotional about coming back. Okay
44:14Nervous like if they don't like it and then now I'm up against another hard transition true
44:21All I need is tenderness from you about that I'm saying I just need you to keep my boys safe
44:25I will do my best to keep your boys safe. You know, we have I kept you say yes
44:29But I'm not outside sleeping in a tent
44:31This is your mountain. This is your land
44:34There's my boys
44:37Time to get on with them. Don't know ever holler ever create don't know the plants
44:42They could touch what they need to leave alone and that's my responsibility
44:45And I will keep them safe while they're here
44:47I can deal with the mistake of them touching poison ivy and dealing with that
44:51The bear thing is a mistake that I don't want to deal with. That's scary. I
44:56Think Charlie doesn't understand what it might mean to be a father. I'm ready
45:01He doesn't know them from birth to who they are now as teenagers
45:06so it's hard for me to let go of my control and
45:11Sometimes I don't know if I should or shouldn't
45:15We go
45:16Yeah
45:17Because if something were to happen and somebody got hurt or worse, I don't know how I would react
45:23I don't know what I would do. I don't know if our relationship could make it
45:45You