The Three Badasses Who Want Me FULL EPISODE Short Drama Movies
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00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:06What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:10Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:15If your mother-in-law sees, she's gonna throw a big fit again.
00:00:20Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:22What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:28And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:32Alright, everybody get out!
00:00:35We got an important guest coming!
00:00:39You!
00:00:44You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:00:47I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:54You wanna say that again?
00:00:58You know who's visiting today?
00:01:00Ellen freakin' Musk! One of the richest people in the world!
00:01:04Ellen Musk?
00:01:05Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:07Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:11Really? Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:17You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:22Coming to see you?
00:01:24Alright, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:27If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:34Deal.
00:01:42Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:46Or else, you're fired.
00:01:52Hmm.
00:02:08Prepare the limo. Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:18Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:20Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:23Five.
00:02:24Four.
00:02:27Three.
00:02:30Two.
00:02:31One.
00:02:35Ellen! Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:02:38Uh, Ellen! Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:45How's my boss pitch?
00:02:47Kickin' ass, girlfriend!
00:02:48So, how do you, like...
00:02:52She's my boss?
00:02:53Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:02:58No way.
00:03:02Well?
00:03:07No! No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss! No, I won't do it again!
00:03:14Alright, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:03:18Sir.
00:03:23Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:31You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:33My honorary bride.
00:03:36You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker!
00:03:41Who are you?
00:03:44Where is she?
00:03:45Atlanta. And you were right. It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:49My clever bride. I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:03:58Max, prep the jet. I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:06Dr. Wilson, Benning Sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:09Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:04:12Wait, Dr. Wilson. The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:15He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:21Dr. Wilson!
00:04:28General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:31Benning Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta!
00:04:34Atlanta!
00:04:36Where is that?
00:04:38Whatever! Prepare my warplane!
00:04:40Whatever! Prepare my warplane!
00:04:42Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:04:45This is war.
00:05:02I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:08Thank you so much, Ellen. This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:13That project is worth billions. He can finally take his company public.
00:05:17But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:27Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:32Well, three years ago...
00:05:37You saved me.
00:05:55You saved me.
00:06:00He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:03I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:18So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:26But why work at the flea market? Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:31Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:47Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:52Get home, stat. It's a big day today.
00:06:56That was...
00:06:57My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:07:02But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:08You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:07:16Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:20Hi, I'm home. I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:24Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:30Divorce papers?
00:07:33Is this some sort of misunderstanding, mom?
00:07:36God, don't call me mom again. We're ending that relationship.
00:07:42Just look at you. Dirt all over. You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:47You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:50I'm below his league?
00:07:52That's right. You are.
00:07:55Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:01And then his company's going public.
00:08:04That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:07But you? You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:12Jared's like the king in the clouds. And you...
00:08:16You?
00:08:17You will always just be a pawn. Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:25Dirt on your shoes? But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:30Ha! You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:35How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:40Resorting to lies. Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:43And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:50You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:08:55Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee. Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:00Enough!
00:09:02Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:06But I am.
00:09:08Don't forget.
00:09:09Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:11Here's 500K.
00:09:13You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:17Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:21Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:24I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:29Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:32Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:35Fine.
00:09:36Here's another 200K.
00:09:39500K is too much for her already.
00:09:42She's done nothing.
00:09:44Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:47She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:50Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:54I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:09:58You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:02And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:10:06A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:10What a joke.
00:10:12If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:18And leave!
00:10:21You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:26Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:28I did my very best.
00:10:30Public?
00:10:32I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:35Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:42It's all my work!
00:10:45Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:53You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:10:58So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:02She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:06Fine.
00:11:08I'll sign it.
00:11:10But don't regret it.
00:11:13Regret?
00:11:15You know who I am?
00:11:17Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:21I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:24Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:30Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:33It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:38You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:42Social stratum matters.
00:11:44Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:47And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:50And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:55Ha! You're delusional.
00:11:58Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:04You owe me.
00:12:06You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:14You hit me.
00:12:16You hit me.
00:12:20Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:38I don't need your penny money.
00:12:42We're finished.
00:12:43You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:46Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:50But I would like my ring back.
00:13:01Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:08And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:16Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:20It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:24Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:27Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:30You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:33Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:38Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:45Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:13:48Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:13:53Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:13:56Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:01Vanderbilt?
00:14:03Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of the largest companies in the world.
00:14:07He's a big shot, and he's a millionaire.
00:14:10He's a big shot.
00:14:12He's a big shot.
00:14:14He's a big shot.
00:14:16He's a big shot.
00:14:18He's a big shot.
00:14:20He's a big shot.
00:14:22He's a big shot.
00:14:23Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:14:28Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:30You're still going to the summit tomorrow? You and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:34That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:54Angela Lockhart.
00:14:57I finally found you.
00:14:59Who is he?
00:15:01That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:04He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:11Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:13And he's your fiancé.
00:15:17What? What? My fiancé?
00:15:20The one and only.
00:15:23So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:28have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:32Babe?
00:15:40That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:46What is she wearing?
00:15:49What is she doing here?
00:15:54You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:01Divorced?
00:16:03That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:09Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:13So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:16Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:24How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:28Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:31Do you know who I am?
00:16:33They don't know who you are.
00:16:36You hide it well.
00:16:38X-Team! Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:43Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:54You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:01Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
00:17:08Tell these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:11You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:16Don't.
00:17:21A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:25No.
00:17:32Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:36You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:41Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:43Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:45Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:49I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:52It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:54Congrats. You'll be next.
00:17:56Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:00Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:03Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:06So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:10Thank you, Mr. Manfield.
00:18:11Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:15Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:20Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:23Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:32I'll do my best.
00:18:38Excuse me.
00:18:39Excuse me.
00:18:41Second gentleman.
00:18:43What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:47How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:50Me? A hobo?
00:18:52How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:55You sleep your way in?
00:18:57I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:59Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:02Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:07This is your ex-husband?
00:19:10What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:13Who the hell is this?
00:19:15You were cheating on me?
00:19:28Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:32That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:37They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:51You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:56Get your hands off of her.
00:20:02My lady.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:18My queen.
00:20:29It's...
00:20:31It's him!
00:20:32He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:36Who are these peasants?
00:20:38These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:42Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:45You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:49Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:51That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:53You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:56His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:20:59This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:02Vanderbilt.
00:21:04The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:09who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:13That lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:21:22Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:26Whatever.
00:21:28Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:43How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:46I'm Harvey F. N. Buffett,
00:21:48the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:51I can wait.
00:21:52I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:56And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:00Not with me around.
00:22:02I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:07You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:11You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:14We've had enough of your games.
00:22:16Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:19Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:22But don't worry, you got new money here.
00:22:27I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:30Yes, my queen.
00:22:32You're all despicable.
00:22:35An insult to your family names.
00:22:40Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:44Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:46Cut off all business ties.
00:22:49And if you don't,
00:22:52I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:22:57I knew it.
00:22:59You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:01You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:03How much money did you spend on that getup
00:23:05to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:07You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:12You have nothing.
00:23:13And you will always be nothing.
00:23:16She's a gold digger.
00:23:19Gold digger?
00:23:21Gigolo.
00:23:23Want to try me for a night?
00:23:25Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:27Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:30They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:33Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:35She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:38Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:41Security!
00:23:44Security!
00:23:46You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:50And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:52You!
00:23:54Insolent fools.
00:23:57Let me guess.
00:23:59You're that special guest?
00:24:01I don't know.
00:24:03Throw them out!
00:24:05And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:14Back down, Max.
00:24:19I got this.
00:24:44What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:47I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:49No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:52Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:25:03Angela!
00:25:05Don't hurt her.
00:25:07You bitch.
00:25:09I've always been sick of you.
00:25:11You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:13How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:25:16Boss?
00:25:18Did she say her boss?
00:25:20Miss Musk?
00:25:22That's Ellen Musk.
00:25:24That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:26My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:29Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:32Past the American Revolution?
00:25:34Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:36If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:39That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:41She's royalty.
00:25:43Your boss's boss.
00:25:45What are you going to do?
00:25:47Kneel to me.
00:25:49Oh, your majesty.
00:25:51Welcome to the United States.
00:25:54We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:25:57Yes, your highness.
00:25:59Is it queen or prince?
00:26:01It doesn't matter.
00:26:03My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:06We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:09What are you doing, you idiot?
00:26:10Let go of the boss, lady, and beg for forgiveness!
00:26:23What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:41She's a badass herself.
00:26:44He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:46You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:50Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:53No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:55I worked hard for everything.
00:26:57You worked for everything?
00:27:03Hi, Henry.
00:27:05So, our 30th anniversary is coming up,
00:27:07and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year?
00:27:10I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:12I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project,
00:27:15and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:25You were nothing before me.
00:27:28All your achievements, all your glory,
00:27:32that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:35I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:27:40No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:42That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:46Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:50Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:52It was Queen Victoria's,
00:27:54and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:27:58Oh, no.
00:28:00I gave you back the ring?
00:28:02I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:05No!
00:28:07No, please, no!
00:28:09No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:11I still love you!
00:28:16Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:19No one's allowed to start a fight with a cold Eisenhower.
00:28:22I don't care.
00:28:24God, these two again.
00:28:26Did he say, is he cold Eisenhower?
00:28:29President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:31After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:33each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:37the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:39Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:41Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:43I got lost trying to find Atlanta,
00:28:45then lost again on my way back.
00:28:47I'm sorry, I'm late.
00:28:49I'm sorry, I'm late.
00:28:51I'm sorry, I'm late.
00:28:53I'll see you back in New York.
00:28:58And that there is…
00:29:00that is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson.
00:29:04He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:07Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:09Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:11Yep, that's me.
00:29:13Son of James House.
00:29:15Dr. House? He's practically my uncle.
00:29:17I correctly diagnosed the pope before him
00:29:19when I was just 12-years old.
00:29:20So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 months.
00:29:25And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:33Hey Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:37Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:40What?
00:29:42Fiancés?
00:29:45Plural?
00:29:46Fiancés?
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:48Plural?
00:29:49Watch it, nerds! I'm her fiancé!
00:29:52No, I'm her fiancé!
00:29:53You can both shut up! I'm her fiancé!
00:29:56It's you!
00:29:57It's me!
00:29:58Who the hell is he?
00:29:59I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:02How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:30:07Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:14She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumbass?
00:30:21Whatever.
00:30:22Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:27Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:32At your service!
00:30:34Me too.
00:30:40One down, two more to go.
00:30:42She's become queen!
00:30:43Bishop to G4.
00:30:48Ow! Ow! Ow! What is that?
00:30:52The most German festin' water in the Nile River.
00:30:58Rook to A8.
00:31:04Hello?
00:31:08I thought I was king!
00:31:09No, you wish. The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:14Oh, fine.
00:31:19Bankrupt the Fords right this second.
00:31:26I... I've been bankrupt! No!
00:31:31Rook to A8.
00:31:34I've been bankrupt! No!
00:31:38I've been bankrupt! No!
00:31:41I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:46Well, guess what? Game over.
00:31:48Alright, boys. Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:52Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:54I'm right with you.
00:31:56Wait for me! Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:32:04Angela!
00:32:08You already have three fiancées?
00:32:11You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:13I want compensation.
00:32:18You greedy SOB.
00:32:20Who the fuck is that?
00:32:21My ex-husband.
00:32:23Wait, you were married?
00:32:25Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:30More for me? No, no, of course not.
00:32:32Just... do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:35Don't steal my joke.
00:32:37I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:39All the evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:32:42What? Is there something on my face?
00:32:44Uh, yeah. Murderous intent.
00:32:47Let's remarry.
00:32:49Let's remarry.
00:32:51You still don't realize.
00:32:54I only fell in love with you because you're so beautiful.
00:32:57You still don't realize.
00:32:59I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:28Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:30We need to wreck right away.
00:33:32Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:36Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:40She should be okay now.
00:33:45Hey, you!
00:33:46Watch over here.
00:33:48I'll be right back.
00:33:57You saved me.
00:34:01Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:06Fuck.
00:34:07I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09You've cheated on me.
00:34:11You've hit me.
00:34:12And you've insulted me.
00:34:14And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:34:18I fucking hate you.
00:34:21Lady Lockhart!
00:34:23God, what now?
00:34:26We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:30but if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:34How about us three?
00:34:35Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:34:39Yeah, no.
00:34:40You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:44This is your fault, you doofus!
00:34:46We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:34:48No, no.
00:34:51You can't lose oppositions with Elon Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:55Oh, help me.
00:34:57I'll get you for this!
00:35:04I never should have listened to you.
00:35:06I'm ruined because of you!
00:35:21So, what's the situation here?
00:35:24I want to marry you!
00:35:34I want to marry you!
00:35:37Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:35:41and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:44What?
00:35:45What if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:51Much longer?
00:35:55Angela?
00:35:56Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:36:03My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:06Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:08The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:11Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:13I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:36:19freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:21Can't call his name, but anyway, congratulations!
00:36:25I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:30You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:36:34Let me do it.
00:36:36You must choose one of them in seven days,
00:36:39otherwise we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:43Mom?
00:36:45Alright honey, that's it.
00:36:47Bye! Bye!
00:36:52So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:57Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:02Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:07That seems greedy.
00:37:14But, I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:37:23I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Well, okay, no murder please, I was just kidding.
00:37:34You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:36Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:39I know, we'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:48Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:56You'll see.
00:38:05Oh my god, oh my god, cockroaches!
00:38:08All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:38:11and it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:16What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single lady,
00:38:21but screaming her head off heiress?
00:38:31Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:38:34It's up to the final two.
00:38:41Oh my god.
00:38:59Crunchy.
00:39:01That is sick, Cole.
00:39:03Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:08There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:39:10Oh my god, no, no.
00:39:14Oh my god, save.
00:39:15Save you? You're going to save me.
00:39:20I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:22These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:24They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:37Woo!
00:39:42Thank god you're here.
00:39:45Are you alright, honey?
00:39:48Angela!
00:39:52Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward, you get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:40:00I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:12At least my girl can get some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches.
00:40:19They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:21There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:24I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:32I need a drink.
00:40:38Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:41Oh, why do you care?
00:40:43Are you trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela?
00:40:48You guys were right.
00:40:50I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:40:53You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:40:59He never even loved me.
00:41:01And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:05Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:13You may not be number one on the Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:18What?
00:41:23You're number one here.
00:41:26You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:29Lies.
00:41:32You all just want something from me.
00:41:39Angela, I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:44But I'm not going to let you down.
00:41:47I'm not going to let you down.
00:41:49I'm not going to let you down.
00:41:52I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:55But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:01I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:03I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:42:10I just need you.
00:42:14I'll prove my love to you within six days, I promise.
00:42:21Okay.
00:42:29Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:42:34Angela, you're drunk.
00:42:37I'm an adult. Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:42:41Okay.
00:42:46But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:49Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:43:01If this is what you want.
00:43:209-inch penis.
00:43:22Morning to you too.
00:43:25You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't...
00:43:27A girl remembers when she's had a 9-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:33Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:36But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:40Because then they're going to think I'm crazy.
00:43:43Glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:45But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:48Because then they would...
00:43:50Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:52Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:55I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen,
00:43:58my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:02Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:44:08You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:12Stop.
00:44:15Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:19I won't tell.
00:44:21But only on one condition.
00:44:25I won't tell.
00:44:27But only on one condition.
00:44:30You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:33Fine.
00:44:37I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:41You never noticed me.
00:44:47You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:53It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:54She's still sleeping.
00:44:55Am I sleeping alone?
00:44:56Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:02Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:03Oh, or shall I say ruffmen?
00:45:06Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:09What's up, guys?
00:45:10We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:12No cockroaches this time.
00:45:14Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:16That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:17This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:20I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:22The second challenge is...
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26a date.
00:45:27Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:29A date?
00:45:31That's it.
00:45:32What's the catch?
00:45:33No catch.
00:45:34Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:37As simple as that.
00:45:38I know what I want to do.
00:45:39Let's start with me first.
00:45:40Okay.
00:45:41Who's up first? Ben?
00:45:42Me.
00:45:43Saved the best for last.
00:45:45Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:47Then it's decided.
00:45:52Please don't take my BMW away.
00:45:55Too bad.
00:45:56You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:59I have nothing left.
00:46:09It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:14It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:24General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:26At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:28This is my lieutenant.
00:46:29He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:31Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:33He's so serious.
00:46:35But hang on.
00:46:36Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:39Baby!
00:46:40I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:42so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:44Guns? Like murder weapons?
00:46:47Yes.
00:46:48Murder weapons.
00:47:07You're like my guns, babe.
00:47:09Pretty Lockhart.
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:12Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:14Lieutenant!
00:47:15Come close!
00:47:17Wait!
00:47:18You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:20He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:21Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:47:23Treason?
00:47:24You guys are way too serious.
00:47:27Look, you Lockhart bitch!
00:47:28I caught you!
00:47:29If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:47:32Lieutenant!
00:47:34Lieutenant!
00:47:35Here's your attack!
00:47:48You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:52I will make you pay!
00:47:56You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:57We could just take him to the cops.
00:47:59Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:48:04So he's a bit violent.
00:48:06Some might call it being protective.
00:48:08Poor anger issues.
00:48:10What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:48:14Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:17Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:19I don't know if I am.
00:48:22Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:27Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:34Hey.
00:48:36Hey.
00:48:38Cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:47Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:50Refreshing.
00:48:52I got cool mint, too.
00:48:54Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:57What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:00Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:02I can't stand those.
00:49:03So, where are you taking me today?
00:49:05Let me show you.
00:49:13Dr. Wilson!
00:49:15Our VIP of VIPs!
00:49:17Right this way.
00:49:18VIP of VIPs?
00:49:20Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:49:22I forget who.
00:49:23You saved a lot of people.
00:49:25I do what I can.
00:49:28Oh my gosh!
00:49:30It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:34Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:49:37I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:40Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:42and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:47Hello of you.
00:49:49What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:51Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:53I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end
00:49:56you couldn't even afford, even if you sold your organs.
00:49:59The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:04Here, I'll just be back in a second.
00:50:11Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:16Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:19Cleopatra's armband.
00:50:21Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:50:25For five million dollars.
00:50:28Excuse me.
00:50:30I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:33It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:35I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:38It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:40What are you doing?
00:50:41Just watch.
00:50:48That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:51Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:54She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:57You work at a flea market?
00:50:59Not this again.
00:51:00Cut the bullshit.
00:51:01That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:03Oh yeah?
00:51:04Here, you want it?
00:51:05For free.
00:51:06Ew!
00:51:07I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:11Well, that's too bad then.
00:51:13Because you are the fraud.
00:51:17What are you talking about?
00:51:18And who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:20Throw them out!
00:51:22Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine,
00:51:25but we're professionals.
00:51:27Oh yeah?
00:51:28And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:51:32Yeah.
00:51:33Mine is the real thing.
00:51:34You two are just upset because you're too poor
00:51:37to afford our luxury items.
00:51:39Why is that so?
00:51:41When a so-called expert fell to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:45Dear Lord.
00:51:47This is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:56Cameron, what have you found?
00:51:58Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:01It's a replica.
00:52:04They have the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:07So, you are the fraud.
00:52:11So you just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:14And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:18One-fifty.
00:52:19Wow.
00:52:20Not even five dollars.
00:52:22Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:26Arrest her!
00:52:28No!
00:52:29Please!
00:52:30Just this one time!
00:52:31Please!
00:52:32What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:34Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:52:38Bye.
00:52:39Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:50I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:53Me too.
00:52:54May I have a kiss?
00:53:11Something wrong?
00:53:13Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:20Yep.
00:53:21You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:34You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:38I don't have any money.
00:53:40How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:53:43I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:53:50Stop!
00:53:54Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:58Mr. Buffett.
00:54:03This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:06That's right.
00:54:07Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:10I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:13I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:15No, no.
00:54:16Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:18It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:21Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:24And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:30Angela still loves me.
00:54:31She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:33She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:35Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:37We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:43and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:45It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:49Sure.
00:54:50I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:52I just need...
00:54:53Anything.
00:54:54You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:56Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:59I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:08I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:55:12Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:16Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:18I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:20That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:22It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front of the deposit.
00:55:26And if he can't, then what?
00:55:28He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:29So as long as he's greedy, I have to take it.
00:55:33I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:35I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:45I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:48We should celebrate.
00:55:49You did?
00:55:51You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:53That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:57And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:56:00Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:05What?
00:56:06You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:09Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:11Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:13You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:16It's my decision, Mom.
00:56:18I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:21I'm telling my dad.
00:56:22Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:25If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:28But if not, you can scram.
00:56:31Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:35Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:37Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:41Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:43We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:45So do as he says.
00:56:47But Dad...
00:56:55I'm sorry.
00:56:57For your side piece.
00:56:58Very good.
00:57:00I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:01Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:05I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:10But that tongue action, though.
00:57:12Tongue is important.
00:57:14In more than just one spot.
00:57:16Erin, we are in public.
00:57:17It's true.
00:57:18Oh, stomachache.
00:57:20Again?
00:57:21I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:23Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:25Okay.
00:57:26Devin's late.
00:57:28Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:32This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:37It's her.
00:57:38And she's alone.
00:57:39With no one to save her.
00:57:43You whore.
00:57:44You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:50Let me tell you.
00:57:52I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:58Hey, you guys can fight all you want.
00:58:00You can take this somewhere else.
00:58:02Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:05What?
00:58:06Why do I have to leave?
00:58:07She's the one starting shit.
00:58:09Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:11You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:13And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:17He still got the contract?
00:58:19Hmm.
00:58:20Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:22Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the authority to do it.
00:58:26He doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:35Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:40You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:48One thousand dollars to take her away.
00:58:51Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
00:58:54Five thousand dollars to beat her away.
00:58:59Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey!
00:59:01Ow! Hey!
00:59:05You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:11Weakling.
00:59:12You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more?
00:59:20What a whore.
00:59:21What a whore.
00:59:22Yeah.
00:59:23Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:35Hang on.
00:59:37What do you want?
00:59:39I'll scream!
00:59:40I don't hit women.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:46But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:49Oh God. He is a murderer.
00:59:51What if he murders me?
00:59:53Not him. Definitely not him.
00:59:59We're not afraid of you.
01:00:01That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:03You'll be removed from being a five star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:08I was just messing with them.
01:00:10Was he though?
01:00:12We're not afraid of you.
01:00:14Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:00:16Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:19She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:00:21Oh, Mr. Cooper. It's you.
01:00:23I apologize for this scene.
01:00:25I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:29Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:31Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:33The potty crashes.
01:00:37You have any idea who that is?
01:00:39That's my wife.
01:00:41We saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:00:44That's right. Know your place.
01:00:46Shut up.
01:00:47Shut up.
01:00:48She's cheating on you.
01:00:51Know your place. You're just a side piece.
01:00:54If I still want you, that is.
01:00:56Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:58This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:00You slap her for this whore?
01:01:02Mom!
01:01:03They really think they're something, huh?
01:01:05Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:09She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:12I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:01:16What?
01:01:18You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:28I'm sorry.
01:01:30No.
01:01:31This can't be.
01:01:33I made you a divorce.
01:01:38Go home.
01:01:40You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:47I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:57I didn't come here for you.
01:02:00I'm on a date.
01:02:02A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:05She really is a whore.
01:02:07Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:09I really do love you.
01:02:12Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:16Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:20Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:24We're too old for that.
01:02:26They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:28Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:34Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:02:37We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:40What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:42Where were you?
01:02:44Stomach issues.
01:02:46Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:49No.
01:02:51Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:54I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:58Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:02I can't lose face in front of these pricks, otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:03:06Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
01:03:10You want a chance?
01:03:12Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:16Don't take him back.
01:03:18I'll give you two choices.
01:03:22I'll give you two choices.
01:03:26Me or the contract.
01:03:29You're kidding me.
01:03:31No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:33If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:37But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:03:40The choice is all yours.
01:03:42That's a tough choice.
01:03:44You think so?
01:03:46He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:49Either way, he benefits.
01:03:51Why can't I have both?
01:03:53You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:56Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserve the contract.
01:04:00Did you really?
01:04:05Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:08He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:10Wait, what are you talking about?
01:04:13I choose the contract.
01:04:16I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:19With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:24Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:27Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:30I will get you one day.
01:04:32Let me show you something.
01:04:45You saved me.
01:04:51You saved me.
01:04:53I'm sorry.
01:04:55If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life,
01:04:59but I promise you,
01:05:02I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No, no, I wasn't lying.
01:05:07I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:18Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:21What? Me?
01:05:24And Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:27No way.
01:05:28You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:32You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:39What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:49Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:57I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:06:03You'd like me to punish them for that?
01:06:05Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:06:08Max, you know what to do.
01:06:23The banks have pulled all our funds.
01:06:26All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt!
01:06:34How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48I am...
01:06:50Crypto-Punk Number Two!
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto-Punk Number Two?
01:06:59Well, I'm Crypto-Punk Number One.
01:07:02See? You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:07Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:09It's all about young money now.
01:07:11So, how about our date?
01:07:15I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:18Let's buy two.
01:07:33They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:36I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:39Yes! I'm the one!
01:07:43Yes! I'm rich!
01:07:46I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:54What?
01:07:55Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:56The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:00Otherwise, it's a breach of contract
01:08:02and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:05No!
01:08:07I'm bankrupt!
01:08:09I need a little off guard.
01:08:11You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh, allow me.
01:08:21I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials
01:08:27for our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:31Cheers.
01:08:40This looks good.
01:08:46Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:54You can have all the money and power in the world
01:08:57and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:00I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:03I'm sorry.
01:09:08Angela.
01:09:10Your future with me
01:09:14is going to be different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:18Upstairs.
01:09:34Wow.
01:09:36Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on
01:09:39these past few years
01:09:41just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:44Angela.
01:09:46I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:49Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:53That's right.
01:09:55I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:57How is all of this possible?
01:10:00I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:03Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:07I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:10You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:14Despite who you were,
01:10:16you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:21Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500
01:10:25in a suit like that?
01:10:27All you do is babble on and on
01:10:29about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:10:34Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:38I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:41Hey! Get away from me!
01:10:43Angela!
01:10:455C girl. I like her.
01:10:495C girl. I like her.
01:11:02How is he?
01:11:04It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots
01:11:07found in Africa.
01:11:09Can he be cured?
01:11:11I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:13It sounds really scary,
01:11:15but it's cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:18Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it?
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:38I like her.
01:11:40We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:42So that's how I...
01:11:45Well, we all met.
01:11:48I barely remember.
01:11:50I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:53Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me,
01:11:56attacked you out of revenge.
01:11:58You wouldn't have known.
01:12:00I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:02That makes you a loan shark.
01:12:04I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:06That makes you feel any better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:11Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:14Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years,
01:12:18who will you pick?
01:12:24Who couldn't it be?
01:12:26Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:30Kaley, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:34Bankrupt?
01:12:36The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:12:39Well then, get out of here!
01:12:42You can't do this to me!
01:12:44Oh!
01:12:46Jared!
01:12:47Mom, it's me.
01:12:48What happened?
01:12:50Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:53Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:55You should get back with your wife.
01:12:57We're bankrupt.
01:12:58What?
01:13:00Ah!
01:13:02Jared Cooper.
01:13:05We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:13:09No one is going to save you now.
01:13:11Oh, shit!
01:13:13Oh!
01:13:15Oh!
01:13:17What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:23Who will you pick?
01:13:26Who will you pick?
01:13:30I...
01:13:35I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:37Fried chicken?
01:13:38Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:45At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop. Stop.
01:13:51Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:54I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:02Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:05which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:09Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:13Cole, the general?
01:14:17Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:21Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:29But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:33made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:35and give it to our winner, Angela.
01:14:40Angela.
01:14:42Oh, I, uh...
01:14:45I need more time to think.
01:14:49Uh, while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:53why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:56Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:59Let's start with Cole.
01:15:01Cole.
01:15:05There's not much to say.
01:15:07Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:09who has huge biceps,
01:15:12a massive chest,
01:15:14who would protect their...
01:15:16who would protect their wife?
01:15:21Okay, thank you.
01:15:23Uh, Shane?
01:15:26Muscles, money,
01:15:29they'll only get you so far.
01:15:31But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:33that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:15:35if you know what I mean.
01:15:40Okay, I think we do.
01:15:42And Devin?
01:15:45That was quite disgusting.
01:15:49I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:51I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:54a lot of choices to make.
01:15:56And she's my queen.
01:15:58I just really hope she's okay.
01:16:00Now, one more thing.
01:16:02What kind of a doctor
01:16:04brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:07That's a good point.
01:16:08It's bad for her heart.
01:16:11And then you!
01:16:12What?
01:16:13You know what they say about military men?
01:16:16They beat their wives.
01:16:22No!
01:16:24Stand up!
01:16:27Hey, you guys.
01:16:29Whoa, break it up!
01:16:31Hey!
01:16:32Break it up!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:39Cut to commercial!
01:16:44Cut to commercial!
01:16:57This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make
01:16:59in my entire life.
01:17:02Who do I choose?
01:17:05Angela's marrying me!
01:17:07You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:08Oh, yeah?
01:17:10I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:17:13I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:19What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:21Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:23I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:25I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:27Don't forget about me.
01:17:29I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:31I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:34It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:39These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:42They do not help.
01:17:44Who made these?
01:18:03It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:08I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:16No!
01:18:28We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:41This battle within our heads is the most dangerous
01:18:43This battle within our heads is the most intense
01:18:45I've ever experienced.
01:18:47I may not be able to take them both down
01:18:49if they decide to team up.
01:18:51Hmm, winter mint or cool mint?
01:18:58You know,
01:19:00I've always really liked your hair.
01:19:02Really?
01:19:04I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:07So I appreciate that.
01:19:09Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:11Cool.
01:19:12I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:15Really?
01:19:16Yeah.
01:19:20What do you got for me?
01:19:22I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:25Yeah?
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:31You're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:33I appreciate it.
01:19:34You need me to look at you?
01:19:36I got you.
01:19:37I'll take care of you.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:42It was Jared Cooper.
01:19:44That fucker.
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What, how?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then.
01:19:54My fiancé.
01:19:55My fiancé.
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:06What am I doing here?
01:20:09You destroyed me.
01:20:12You took everything.
01:20:15What?
01:20:16I have nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:20:21I wasn't greedy to have sex with my wife.
01:20:24What?
01:20:25I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:27Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now, not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal.
01:20:33You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:41Come here, bitch.
01:20:44I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:54You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:01Angela!
01:21:02Come here!
01:21:04What happened?
01:21:06You're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:09Not yet.
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:13He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:15Everything except for...
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:17We get it already.
01:21:18Just save my boss!
01:21:21Here you go.
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:29Oh, thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What are you going to do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop! No!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:47Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:49Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:57So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:59We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:04And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:14The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:17We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally.
01:22:19The wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:30Welcome back to the finale of...
01:22:32The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:34But who's the groom?
01:22:38Uh...
01:22:39Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:43Any input from the parents?
01:22:45Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:49Oh, this is exciting!
01:22:51Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:54Let me think about it.
01:22:56I like the doctor.
01:22:58He's cute.
01:23:01But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:05And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:23:07the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:09Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:11Angela.
01:23:18You are all three very beautiful.
01:23:24You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:29And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:33But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:37And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:42And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:50I'm just kidding.
01:23:51I'm just kidding.
01:23:52I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:57Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:01I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:03They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:06So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:12Could it be...
01:24:14the sexy and protective general with a temper,
01:24:17Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:22Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:24:28Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:32And last but not least,
01:24:34could it be the richest man of them all,
01:24:37the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:24:40Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:24:44Gentlemen,
01:24:46it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:48It has.
01:24:50It has.
01:24:51May the best man win.
01:24:53May the best man win.
01:24:56Drum roll, please.
01:25:10Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:13I choose...
01:25:27I need a powerful, strong man
01:25:29who I really feel like he can protect me.
01:25:33Who could resist those guns?
01:25:37Should I interest you in an inef...
01:25:40Should I interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:25:42Yeah, would you like a full-body checkup?
01:25:58Shane, it's you.
01:26:00I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:02You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:04Yeah.
01:26:06It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:09Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:11I hope we can build together.
01:26:13Guns, baby!
01:26:25It's always been you.
01:26:36I'll always love you.
01:26:40Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:44Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:45Have you seen my murder weapon?
01:26:47I need fruit-flavored gum for you.