The Three Badasses Who Want Me - Full Movie
The Three Badasses Who Want Me - Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:00:11What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:16Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:33And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:38All right, everybody get out!
00:00:41We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:50You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:00:56But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:00You want to say that again?
00:01:03You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:23You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:29Coming to see you?
00:01:30All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:33If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:40Deal.
00:01:49Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:53Or else, you're fired.
00:02:14Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:23Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:25Good, hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:28Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:40Ellen!
00:02:41Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:02:43Ellen!
00:02:44Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:50How's my boss bitch?
00:02:51Kick an ass, girlfriend.
00:02:53So, how do you, like...
00:02:56She's my boss?
00:02:58Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:07Well?
00:03:12No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:14No, I won't do it again.
00:03:15I won't do it again!
00:03:19Alright, that's enough.
00:03:20We're not tyrants here.
00:03:28Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:38The unaway bride.
00:03:41You made me lose one million dollars
00:03:44in just one game of poker.
00:03:46Who are you?
00:03:50Where is she?
00:03:51Atlanta.
00:03:52And you were right.
00:03:53It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:55My clever bride.
00:03:57I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:06I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:07Dr. Wilson.
00:04:08Benning Sterling's on the move.
00:04:09He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:10Atlanta?
00:04:11The game is afoot.
00:04:12I'm going.
00:04:13Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:04:14The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:16He can wait.
00:04:17I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:22Dr. Wilson!
00:04:29Gino Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:30Who?
00:04:31Gino Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:32Who?
00:04:33Gino Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:34Who?
00:04:35Gino Eisenhower reporting.
00:04:36Who?
00:04:38Dr. Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta?
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever.
00:04:46Prepare my war plate.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:04:49This is war.
00:04:55Come on.
00:05:06I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza
00:05:11project like you asked me to.
00:05:13Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:15This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:18That project is worth billions.
00:05:20He can finally take his company public.
00:05:22But, Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:05:29without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:33Your backing?
00:05:34No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago...
00:05:59You saved me.
00:06:03He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of
00:06:12being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:14But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing, and then I can finally
00:06:20come out to the public.
00:06:22So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:25I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:29But why work at the flea market?
00:06:33Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:37Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:42Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:46You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:52Where the hell are you?
00:06:54Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:58Get home stacked. It's a big day today.
00:07:02That was...
00:07:03My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our third-year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:26Hi, I'm home.
00:07:28I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:30Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:36Divorce papers?
00:07:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:42God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:45We're ending that relationship.
00:07:47Just look at you. Dirt all over.
00:07:50You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:54You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:58I'm below his league?
00:08:00That's right. You are.
00:08:03Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with THE Elon Musk.
00:08:09And then his company's going public.
00:08:12That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:14But you? You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:20Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:23And you?
00:08:24You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:28Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:33Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:35But Elon Musk works for me.
00:08:38You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:42How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:08:48Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:51And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:59You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:04Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:06Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:08Enough!
00:09:10Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:14But I am.
00:09:17Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:20Here's 500K.
00:09:21You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:25Now sign the papers, take a check, and leave.
00:09:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:32I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:37Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:40Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:43Fine. Here's another 200,000.
00:09:46500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:49She's done nothing.
00:09:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:54She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:57Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:01I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:05You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:10And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:13A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:17What a joke.
00:10:19If you actually love my son,
00:10:21you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:24And leave!
00:10:28You really think that Jared would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without me?
00:10:32Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:35I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:38Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:43It's all my work!
00:10:49Baby, we're going to be late for the auction
00:10:53if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:02So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:06She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:10Fine.
00:11:12I'll sign it.
00:11:14But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Mabel Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:34Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:42You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:46Social stratum matters.
00:11:48Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:52And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:55And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:00Ha! You're delusional!
00:12:03Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:07Ah!
00:12:09You owe me.
00:12:11You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:14Ah!
00:12:20You hit me.
00:12:24Now sign the papers, take a track, and get the fuck out!
00:12:37I don't need your penny money.
00:12:41We're finished.
00:12:43You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:46Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:49But I would like my ring back.
00:12:54Have fun on your economy flight
00:12:58while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:06And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:15I'm sorry.
00:13:17I'm sorry.
00:13:20I'm sorry.
00:13:22Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:27It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:31Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:34Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:37You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:43Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:49Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:55Bigger big-shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:58Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:03Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:19Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:25Vanderbilt?
00:14:26Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:30Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:33You're still going to the summit tomorrow? You and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:37That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:49Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:07Who is he?
00:15:09That? That's Devin Sterling. He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list,
00:15:15an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:21And he's your fiancé.
00:15:25What? My fiancé?
00:15:28The one and only.
00:15:31So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:36have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
00:15:45That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:51What is she doing here?
00:15:56You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:04Divorced?
00:16:07That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr.
00:16:13Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:17So, she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:20Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:28How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:16:31Who the fuck are you, bitch? Do you know who I am?
00:16:37They don't know who you are.
00:16:41You hide it well.
00:16:43X-Team! Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:47Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:54Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:58You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:06Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:10Tell these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:14Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:24A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:28No.
00:17:30Uh, guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:34You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money, like me.
00:17:39Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:42Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:17:47What an honor.
00:17:48I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:51It's worth billions of dollars. Congrats.
00:17:54You're very welcome.
00:17:57It's worth billions of dollars. Congrats. You owe me next.
00:18:01Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:05Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:08Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:18:17Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:21Yes, I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:26Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:29Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:38I'll do my best.
00:18:44Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:46What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:55I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:18:58Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:01Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:06This is your ex-husband?
00:19:09What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:12Who the hell is this? You were cheating on me?
00:19:15Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:19That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:25They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:29I'm so sorry, Angela.
00:19:31I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:33I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:35I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:37I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:39I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:41I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:44I'm sorry, Angela.
00:19:55You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:00Get your hands off of her.
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:14My lady.
00:20:21My queen.
00:20:32It's...
00:20:34It's him!
00:20:36He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:40Who are these peasants?
00:20:43These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:47Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:54You fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:56That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:58You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:04This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:08Vanderbilt.
00:21:10The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:14who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:18That's the Lee Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27Oh, goddammit.
00:21:29A stomachache now?
00:21:34Whatever.
00:21:36Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:40How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:42I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett,
00:21:44the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:48I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:21:52And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:21:56Not with me around.
00:21:58I, Bill Ford, am the entire stock market.
00:22:01And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:04Not with me around.
00:22:06I, Bill Ford, am the entire stock market.
00:22:10And I, Bill Ford, am the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:14You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:18You're a fucking delusion, Angela.
00:22:21We've had enough of your games.
00:22:23Security! Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry. You got new money here.
00:22:35I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:39You're all despicable.
00:22:42An insult to your family names.
00:22:47Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:51Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:53Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:59I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:04I knew it! You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:09How much money did you spend on that getup?
00:23:11And to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:13You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing. And you will always be nothing.
00:23:22She's a gold digger.
00:23:24Gold digger?
00:23:26Gigolo.
00:23:28Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:36You might upset Ms. Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40She's only here to try and ruin my bill on the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:43Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:59You!
00:24:01Insolent fools.
00:24:03Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:08Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:19You can back down now.
00:24:24I got this.
00:24:36You!
00:24:40Alright, everybody get out!
00:24:44You!
00:24:47You!
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I said pack up and scram!
00:24:56Are we supposed to guard you?
00:24:58No, you're supposed to make sure Ms. Lockhart is okay.
00:25:00Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:02You wanna say that again?
00:25:06You know who's visiting today?
00:25:08Ellen freaking Musk!
00:25:10Angela!
00:25:12Don't hurt her!
00:25:14I've always been sick of you.
00:25:16You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:18How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:20Boss?
00:25:22Ms. Musk?
00:25:24That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:26That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:32Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:34Past the American Revolution?
00:25:36Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:38If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:40That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:42She's royalty.
00:25:44And since you're all subsidiaries,
00:25:46she's your boss's boss.
00:25:48What the hell did you do?
00:25:50Kneel to me!
00:25:52Oh, your majesty!
00:25:54Welcome to the United States.
00:25:56Fire.
00:25:58We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:00Yes, your highness.
00:26:03Was it a queen or princess?
00:26:05It doesn't matter.
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:09Oh, yes, we didn't mean to offend you.
00:26:11Hey, what are you doing, you two idiots?
00:26:13Let go of the boss, lady,
00:26:15and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:17Angela Lockhart requires us to leave.
00:26:25Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:26:27What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:29Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:26:32Four.
00:26:34Two.
00:26:36Three.
00:26:38Two.
00:26:40One.
00:26:42Ellen.
00:26:44Uh, I mean, Miss Musk, uh, Ellen, uh...
00:26:46She's a badass herself.
00:26:48You missed out on a good wife.
00:26:50You, you, you
00:26:52told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:54Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag
00:26:56this entire time.
00:26:58No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:27:00You worked for everything.
00:27:02You worked for everything?
00:27:04No way.
00:27:06And,
00:27:08well, so,
00:27:10our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:27:12and I thought that maybe we can do something special
00:27:14for Santa.
00:27:16I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:18I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project
00:27:20and if I get it, I can take the company
00:27:22public.
00:27:30You were nothing
00:27:32before me.
00:27:34All your achievements, all your glory,
00:27:36that's all mine.
00:27:38Including the Maple Closet contract.
00:27:40I can take
00:27:42all of that away
00:27:44just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:48That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on
00:27:50deals to this nobody.
00:27:52Oh, and this
00:27:54antique wedding ring.
00:27:56Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:59It's worth more than an entire country can pay.
00:28:09I gave you back the ring?
00:28:11I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:13No!
00:28:15No, please!
00:28:17No, please take me back!
00:28:19No!
00:28:21The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:28:23Oh, man.
00:28:25Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:28No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:30But Dr. Wilson!
00:28:36God, these two again.
00:28:38Is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:40President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:42After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:44each of his descendants
00:28:46have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:48the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50I'm glad your buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:54I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:56Once again, I'm on my way back to New York.
00:29:02And that there is, that is
00:29:04the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:06He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:08Dr. House?
00:29:10I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:12No, no, that's based off real figures.
00:29:14Yep, that's me.
00:29:16Son of James House.
00:29:18Dr. House is practically my uncle.
00:29:20I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:29:22when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:25Dr. House crowned himself a waterfall
00:29:27somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:29I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:29:31and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:35Without your backing, no offense,
00:29:37but it's nothing without it.
00:29:39Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:41Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:43What?
00:29:45Fiancés?
00:29:47Plural?
00:29:49Fiancés?
00:29:51Plural?
00:29:54Nerds, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:56No, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:58You can both shut up. I'm her fiancé.
00:30:00It's you.
00:30:02It's me. Who the hell is he?
00:30:04I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:06How are all three of these
00:30:08men my fiancé?
00:30:10Your father had arranged
00:30:12these engagements years ago,
00:30:14but I didn't tell you as he decided to marry
00:30:16Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:18He has three badass fiancés
00:30:20and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:22You guys can finally come out in public.
00:30:24Whatever.
00:30:26Since you're all here,
00:30:28help me finish him.
00:30:30Since you're all here,
00:30:32help me finish him.
00:30:34At your service.
00:30:36Me too.
00:30:42One down, two more to go.
00:30:44She's become queen.
00:30:46Bishop to G4.
00:30:48I'm happy being a housewife.
00:30:51Ow! Ow!
00:30:53What is that?
00:30:55The most German-fest water
00:30:57in the Nile River.
00:31:01Rook to A8.
00:31:07Hello?
00:31:11I thought I was king.
00:31:13No, you wish.
00:31:15The king doesn't do anything,
00:31:17so Ellen can be my king.
00:31:20Pick up the phone.
00:31:22It's right this second.
00:31:24Please spend more time with my son.
00:31:28Hi.
00:31:30I have a big announcement.
00:31:32I've been bankrupt!
00:31:34No!
00:31:40I've been bankrupt!
00:31:42No!
00:31:44I told you I would remove all of you
00:31:46from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:48Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:52You're selling the title of Mrs. Hooper.
00:31:54Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:56I'm right with you.
00:31:58Wait for me.
00:32:00Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:02You are.
00:32:04Jared is signing a $100 million contract
00:32:06with me.
00:32:10Angela!
00:32:14You already have three fiancées?
00:32:17You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:19I want compensation.
00:32:23You greedy SOB.
00:32:25What the fuck is that?
00:32:27My ex-husband.
00:32:29Wait, you were married?
00:32:31Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:32:33then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:35More for me.
00:32:37No, no, of course not.
00:32:39Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:41Don't steal my joke.
00:32:43I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:46All the evidence of your past with him.
00:32:48What?
00:32:50Is there something on my face?
00:32:52Yeah, murderous intent.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56Let's remarry.
00:32:58You still don't realize
00:33:00I only fell in love with you
00:33:02because you saved me from drowning
00:33:04three years ago.
00:33:16I'm sorry.
00:33:18What happened?
00:33:20Don't fight it.
00:33:22The paper's $500,000.
00:33:24You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler
00:33:26selling spices.
00:33:28Just sign the papers and take the check.
00:33:30Don't embarrass yourself.
00:33:32Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:34We need to wreck right away.
00:33:36A coal Eisenhower engine will start causing mayhem
00:33:38at the company warehouse.
00:33:40Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:42She should be okay now.
00:33:45Fine.
00:33:47Here's another $200,000.
00:33:49Hey, you!
00:33:51Watch over here.
00:33:53I'll be right back.
00:33:55She's done nothing.
00:33:57She hasn't even seen her grandchild.
00:33:59She just fell asleep.
00:34:01You saved me.
00:34:03Fuck.
00:34:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09Fuck.
00:34:11I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:13You've cheated on me,
00:34:15you've hit me,
00:34:17and you've insulted me.
00:34:19And after all that,
00:34:21I never want to see you again.
00:34:23I fucking hate you.
00:34:27Right now.
00:34:29Yes.
00:34:31We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:33but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:35the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:37How about us three?
00:34:39Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:42Yeah, no.
00:34:44You're all fired.
00:34:46This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:48We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:50No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:54We can't lose our positions
00:34:56with Ellen Musk and the Lockhart.
00:34:58Psycho.
00:35:00I'll get you for this.
00:35:08I never should have listened to you.
00:35:11I hate you.
00:35:25So,
00:35:27what's the situation here?
00:35:29I don't want to marry you.
00:35:33Jared winning the bid
00:35:35at Maple Plaza
00:35:37was because of my dad.
00:35:39Listen,
00:35:41I only met you guys
00:35:43a few hours ago,
00:35:45and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:47What? What if I told you
00:35:49that we've known each other
00:35:51for much longer than just a few hours?
00:35:53Much longer.
00:36:05My lovely princess,
00:36:08how are you?
00:36:10Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:12The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:14Perfect for a wedding,
00:36:16didn't you say?
00:36:18I heard you finally divorced
00:36:20that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking
00:36:22three-letter husband of yours.
00:36:24I can't recall his name,
00:36:26but anyway, congratulations.
00:36:28I've selected three prime young men
00:36:30for you to choose from
00:36:32to replace him.
00:36:34You must pick one of them to marry,
00:36:37otherwise...
00:36:39Let me do it.
00:36:41You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:43Otherwise,
00:36:45we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:47Mom!
00:36:49All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:51Bye!
00:36:53Your time has just passed.
00:36:55So, who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well,
00:37:01what if I want all three of you?
00:37:03Well,
00:37:05what if I want all three of you?
00:37:07Have fun on your economy.
00:37:09That seems greedy.
00:37:11Well, I catch a ride in my private helicopter
00:37:13out of here.
00:37:15What?
00:37:17I can always remove
00:37:19the other two options.
00:37:21Hey,
00:37:23I may be a doctor,
00:37:25but I can take lives, too.
00:37:27I know and have access to all the deadliest
00:37:29poisons in the world.
00:37:32Okay, no murder, please.
00:37:34I was just kidding.
00:37:36You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:40It's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:42I know.
00:37:44We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:46Congrats, Jared Boo Boo.
00:37:48Welcome to the show,
00:37:50the three bad asses who want me.
00:37:52Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:56What is all of this?
00:37:58You'll see.
00:38:02And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:38:06Everything's new.
00:38:08Oh my god, oh my god, cockroaches!
00:38:10All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:38:12and it is every man's job
00:38:14to save their beloved woman
00:38:16from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:18What will our three candidates do
00:38:20to prove their undying love
00:38:22for our single,
00:38:24but screaming her head off, heiress?
00:38:27I think Georgia wants to say
00:38:29she's the CEO of one of our companies.
00:38:31Basically our employee.
00:38:33Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:35has already called it quits.
00:38:37It's up to the final two.
00:38:39Jared Cooper already divorced.
00:38:41That's exactly why I'm calling.
00:38:57Crunchy.
00:39:03That is sick cold.
00:39:05Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield,
00:39:07you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:11There are two more left.
00:39:13Want to try one?
00:39:15No, no!
00:39:17Oh my god, save me.
00:39:19Save you? You're the one who saves me!
00:39:23I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:25These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:27They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:33You've been leaving me single for three years.
00:39:43Thank god you're here.
00:39:47Are you alright, honey?
00:39:49That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:39:52Alright, you won the first challenge
00:39:54so you're a reward.
00:39:56You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:58Just don't cross the line,
00:40:00if you know what I mean.
00:40:02I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:04You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:06Divorced?
00:40:08That's right.
00:40:10Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:12it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:14At least my girl can get some.
00:40:16I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:19The cockroaches!
00:40:21They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:23There's nothing in this room
00:40:25except you and me, okay?
00:40:27I'm going to kill
00:40:29Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:33I need a drink.
00:40:43Whoa, easy!
00:40:45You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:47What do you care?
00:40:49I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:55Sir, you were kind of in a rush
00:40:57when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:40:59You forgot to bring a seat.
00:41:01I wasted three whole years
00:41:03of my life with him.
00:41:05He never even loved me.
00:41:07And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:13Do you really think that you and Sid
00:41:16are on the Forbes 30 under 30 list
00:41:18if I was around?
00:41:20Bitch, I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:41:22You may not be number one
00:41:24on the Forbes list,
00:41:26but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:28What?
00:41:30A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:41:32No.
00:41:34You're number one here.
00:41:38You know,
00:41:40we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:42Lies.
00:41:45You don't have to steal money like me.
00:41:47Gentlemen,
00:41:49this is Jared Cooper.
00:41:51Pleased to meet you all.
00:41:53Your families all started empires after the industrial revolution.
00:41:55I know which one I trust again.
00:41:57But I assure you,
00:41:59I don't care.
00:42:01I don't care who you're from.
00:42:03I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:05I don't need your power,
00:42:07your status, your wealth,
00:42:09your connections.
00:42:11I just need you.
00:42:15I'll prove my love to you
00:42:17within six days.
00:42:29Screw the contest.
00:42:31I just want love.
00:42:37You're drunk.
00:42:40I can't always get what she wants.
00:42:42Okay.
00:42:46Excuse me, sex children.
00:42:48But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:52Oh, they're not.
00:42:54You're too exclusive, I know.
00:42:56Me, I'm a girl.
00:42:58How did you think somebody like me
00:43:00would sit in here and not be able to sit away?
00:43:02I told you, Angela Walker, I don't bother.
00:43:04Stop it.
00:43:06Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:43:10This is your tattoo.
00:43:14Were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:43:16What the hell is this?
00:43:18Are you cheating on me?
00:43:28Manage penis.
00:43:30Morning to you, too.
00:43:32You have to avenge me.
00:43:34You sure you weren't drunk last night?
00:43:36You were a girl.
00:43:39A girl, that's what she said.
00:43:41Manage penis.
00:43:43They even took Kayla's tiara.
00:43:45Glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:47But don't shame Nicole.
00:43:49Because then they would...
00:43:51Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:53Technically, us having sex
00:43:55doesn't break any rules.
00:43:57I won the first challenge,
00:43:59and according to Ellen,
00:44:01my prize was to spend the night with you anyway.
00:44:03Don't make this any harder
00:44:05than it already is.
00:44:07I'm tired.
00:44:09You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:13Stop.
00:44:17Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:21I won't tell.
00:44:23But only on one condition.
00:44:27I won't tell.
00:44:29But only on one condition.
00:44:31You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:34Fine.
00:44:38I've had a crush on you
00:44:40since college, Angela.
00:44:42You never noticed me.
00:44:48You should get dressed
00:44:50and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:44:54It's only 7am.
00:44:56She's still sleeping.
00:44:58I'm not letting my fiance be alone
00:45:00with another man for another second.
00:45:04Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:06Or shall I say, Ruffman?
00:45:08Don't mind him.
00:45:10What's up, guys?
00:45:12We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:14No cockroaches this time.
00:45:16Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:18That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:20This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:22I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26The second challenge is...
00:45:28A date.
00:45:30Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:45:33That's it.
00:45:35What's the catch?
00:45:37No catch.
00:45:39Just who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:45:41As simple as that.
00:45:43I know what I want to do.
00:45:45Let's start with me first.
00:45:47Save the best for last.
00:45:49Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:51Then it's decided.
00:45:53How dare you quote one of us!
00:45:55Please don't take my BMW away!
00:45:57Too bad.
00:45:59You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:46:01I have nothing left.
00:46:09Not with me around.
00:46:11That bitch who ruined me.
00:46:13Stand with these gentlemen.
00:46:15That bitch who ruined me.
00:46:21You're fucking delusional, Adam.
00:46:23We've had enough of your games.
00:46:25Security.
00:46:27Unease, lieutenants.
00:46:30This is my lieutenant.
00:46:32He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:34Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:36You're so serious.
00:46:38But hang on.
00:46:40Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:42Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:44so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:46Guns, like murder weapons?
00:46:48Yes.
00:46:50Murder weapons.
00:46:52My turn to roll.
00:46:54It's Roy Jared Cooper.
00:46:56Cut off all business ties.
00:46:59Cut off all business ties.
00:47:01Cut off all business ties.
00:47:03Cut off all business ties.
00:47:05Cut off all business ties.
00:47:07Cut off all business ties.
00:47:09You can't deal with anyone here.
00:47:11How much money do you need to get up
00:47:13and hire that gigolo to make you jealous?
00:47:15Let me show you what I can do.
00:47:17Lieutenant!
00:47:19Come close!
00:47:21You have nothing.
00:47:23You're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:25He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:28You guys are way too serious.
00:47:30Look, you rock hard bitch.
00:47:32I caught you.
00:47:34If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:36Lieutenant, here's your attack.
00:47:38They might have sent Miss Ellen Muskin
00:47:40as a special guest.
00:47:42Angela Lauper is my spurned ex-wife.
00:47:50You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:54I will make you pay!
00:47:58You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:48:00We can just take him to the cops.
00:48:02Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:48:06Let me guess, you're that special guest?
00:48:08He's always a bit violent.
00:48:10Some might call it being protective.
00:48:12Poor Angela.
00:48:14What if we get married
00:48:16and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:18on an antique table or something?
00:48:20Is he going to be like, rough?
00:48:22Some girls are into that.
00:48:24I don't know if I am.
00:48:26I got this.
00:48:28Well, maybe shame will be your time.
00:48:32Your name is Shane.
00:48:40Cool ride.
00:48:42A gift from the Chancellor of Germany
00:48:44when I saved his wife.
00:48:46Impressive.
00:48:48Your breath
00:48:50smells like peppermint.
00:48:52Refreshing.
00:48:55Cool mint, too.
00:48:57Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:59What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:01Fruit flavored gum.
00:49:03I can't stand those.
00:49:05So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:49:07Let me show you.
00:49:15Dr. Wilson!
00:49:17Our VIP of VIPs!
00:49:19Right this way.
00:49:21VIP of VIPs.
00:49:24You guys saved, I forget who.
00:49:26You saved a lot of people.
00:49:28I do what I can.
00:49:30Oh my gosh.
00:49:32It's my gold digging neighbor
00:49:34who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:36Sandra Miller.
00:49:38What are you doing here?
00:49:40I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:42Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:44and how you hired some gigolo
00:49:46to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:48Hello of you.
00:49:50What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:52Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:54I sell high fashion jewelry pieces
00:49:56so high end, you couldn't even afford
00:49:58even if you sold your organs.
00:50:00The auction begins.
00:50:02I'll deal with you later.
00:50:12Cameron,
00:50:14I have a task for you.
00:50:16Our next piece
00:50:18is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband
00:50:23sold by our vendor,
00:50:25Sandra Miller
00:50:27for five million dollars.
00:50:29Excuse me.
00:50:31I'd like to donate this piece
00:50:33to auction.
00:50:35It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:37I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:41What are you doing?
00:50:43Just watch.
00:50:46Come on.
00:50:50That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please.
00:50:54I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:56She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:58You work at a flea market?
00:51:00Not this again.
00:51:02Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:04Oh yeah?
00:51:06Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:08Ew, I don't want that trash from a
00:51:10stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:12Well, that's too bad then
00:51:14because you are the fraud.
00:51:16What are you talking about?
00:51:18Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:20Throw them out.
00:51:22Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend
00:51:24in medicine, but we're
00:51:26professionals.
00:51:28Oh yeah? And that armband
00:51:30sells for five million dollars?
00:51:32Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:51:34You two are just upset because
00:51:36you're too poor
00:51:38to afford our luxury items.
00:51:40How does that sell?
00:51:43Well, expert, fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then.
00:51:45Dear Lord,
00:51:47this is real.
00:51:49It's authentic.
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:57Karen, what have you found?
00:51:59Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's
00:52:01armband you sent me?
00:52:03It's a replica.
00:52:05They have the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:07So,
00:52:09you are the fraud.
00:52:12You just went to the flea market
00:52:14so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:16And Cameron, how much are these fakes
00:52:18being sold for?
00:52:20150.
00:52:22Wow, not even five dollars.
00:52:24Sandra.
00:52:26You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:28Arrest her!
00:52:30No! Please!
00:52:32Just this one time!
00:52:34What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:36Uh, investigating lead poisoning
00:52:38from cheap jewelry for
00:52:40the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:42Black Callista from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:52I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:54Me too.
00:52:56May I have a kiss?
00:53:00Angela, my next-door neighbor.
00:53:02Still selling your hippie junk here?
00:53:04If your mother-in-law sees,
00:53:06she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:53:10Your mother-in-law was right about that.
00:53:12What's the point of watching the news
00:53:14all day about these models?
00:53:16And how do you know
00:53:18that this is none of my business?
00:53:22You never have to worry about
00:53:24stinky breath for me.
00:53:26We got an important guest coming.
00:53:28You.
00:53:34Beth, I said pack up and strand.
00:53:36You.
00:53:39If you want me to leave, then fine.
00:53:41I don't have any money.
00:53:43How did you pay for this hotel?
00:53:45I want to say that again.
00:53:47I guess you'll only pay up
00:53:49if I break your mother-in-law.
00:53:51Stop!
00:53:53Ellen Musk?
00:53:55Of course a hick like you probably
00:53:57just know that
00:53:59you can't afford this at all.
00:54:01Really?
00:54:03Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta
00:54:05just to come to the flea market.
00:54:08That's right.
00:54:10Ms. Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:12I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:14I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:16You know what? I'll play your game.
00:54:18Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:20It was almost a misunderstanding.
00:54:22Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:26And then maybe you can
00:54:28tell Lady Lockhart
00:54:30to put in a good word for us?
00:54:32Angela still loves me.
00:54:34She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:36Do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:38We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:40I was just sucking up to
00:54:42these pricks a few days ago
00:54:44and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:46It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:48Sure.
00:54:50I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:52I just need anything.
00:54:54You tell us, we'll give you it.
00:54:56Once I take everything
00:54:58from these idiots,
00:55:00I'll go after Angela Lockhart
00:55:02for my revenge.
00:55:06Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:55:08I'll give you the contract
00:55:10just like you asked me to.
00:55:12Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:55:18I'll get it, Ms. Musk.
00:55:20My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:22It requires him to pay 50% of the costs upfront
00:55:24as a deposit.
00:55:26And if he can't, then what?
00:55:28He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:30So as long as he's grieving, I have to take it.
00:55:32I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:35I want to show the world
00:55:37that without Angela Lockhart,
00:55:39he's nothing.
00:55:41She's my boss.
00:55:43And I'm her business partner.
00:55:45I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:47No way.
00:55:49We should celebrate.
00:55:51You did?
00:55:53Well, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:55That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:57No, no, I'm sorry for offending you both.
00:55:59It's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:56:01Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:04All right, that's enough.
00:56:06We're not tyrants here.
00:56:08What?
00:56:10You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:12Oh, no, no, no.
00:56:14He's not.
00:56:16Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:18You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:20It's my decision.
00:56:22Mom, I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:24You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:56:26I'm telling my dad.
00:56:28Fine, go right ahead.
00:56:30He has enough problems himself.
00:56:32Jared is being mean to me.
00:56:34Teach him a lesson.
00:56:36Be a good girl, okay?
00:56:38Jared has the backing of some very
00:56:40powerful people now.
00:56:42Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:44We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:46So do as he says.
00:56:48What's that?
00:56:50I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:56:58Very good.
00:57:01Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:03Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:57:05The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:57:07He can wait.
00:57:09I need to pick up my bride.
00:57:11But that tongue actually matters.
00:57:13Tongue is important
00:57:15in more than just one spot.
00:57:17We aren't in public.
00:57:19That's true.
00:57:21Again?
00:57:23I have to run to the bathroom.
00:57:25Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:27Devin's late.
00:57:30Whatever, prepare my war plate.
00:57:32Don't sue going after my fiancee.
00:57:34This hotel restaurant has five
00:57:36Michelin stars.
00:57:38It's her.
00:57:40She's alone with no one to save her.
00:57:44You whore.
00:57:46You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:52Let me tell you.
00:57:54I would never go back even if your entire
00:57:56family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:58I love you so much, Ellen.
00:58:00This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:58:02Hey, you guys can fight all you want,
00:58:04but you can take this somewhere else.
00:58:06Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:08Why do I have to leave?
00:58:10She's the one starting shit.
00:58:12Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:14You're just a stinky hippie peddler
00:58:16and my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:20He still got the contract?
00:58:22Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:24Even if he does sign it,
00:58:27he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:29Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:31Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:35Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:39You take my charity
00:58:41and toss it in my face
00:58:43as if it's your own.
00:58:45My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:47One thousand dollars to take her away.
00:58:51Two thousand dollars to drag her away.
00:58:53Five thousand dollars
00:58:56to beat her away.
00:59:06You okay? Are you hurt?
00:59:10I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:59:12You! You!
00:59:14Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy
00:59:16right after getting divorced.
00:59:18And now you have two more?
00:59:20What else?
00:59:22Well, these exotic spices are...
00:59:24You wanted to get back with her?
00:59:26What if she has an STD?
00:59:28Oh, like sleeping with a married man
00:59:30wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:32Let's go.
00:59:34We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:36Where the hell are you?
00:59:38I'll scream!
00:59:40I don't hate women.
00:59:42But I never said I didn't kill her.
00:59:44It's a big day today.
00:59:46But I never said I didn't kill her.
00:59:50She judges me.
00:59:53What if he murders me?
00:59:55Not him. Definitely not him.
00:59:59You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
01:00:01We're not afraid of you.
01:00:03That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:00:05You'll be removed from being a five-star general.
01:00:07Please spend more time with my son.
01:00:09I was just missing him.
01:00:11Hi, I'm home.
01:00:13We're not afraid of you.
01:00:15Jared!
01:00:17You have to avenge us.
01:00:19Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:22Come on, you don't get back with her.
01:00:24Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:26I apologize for this scene.
01:00:28I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately
01:00:30so that you can go to your salvation for anguish.
01:00:32Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:34Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:00:36You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
01:00:38You don't deserve this.
01:00:40Do you have any idea who that is?
01:00:42That's my wife.
01:00:44Say that hangouts are a real skank over there.
01:00:46That's right.
01:00:48Shut up.
01:00:51I know your place.
01:00:53You're just a side piece.
01:00:55If I still want you, that is.
01:00:57Have you gone mad?
01:00:59This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:01You slap her for this whore?
01:01:03Mom!
01:01:05They really think there's something, huh?
01:01:07Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth
01:01:09and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:11She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:13I only got the Maple Plaza project
01:01:15because she gave it to me.
01:01:17What?
01:01:19You apologize right now
01:01:21or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:23You will never upgrade to a queen.
01:01:25How dare you compare yourself
01:01:27to the real deal here.
01:01:29I'm sorry.
01:01:31This can't be.
01:01:33I made you divorce.
01:01:35I made you divorce.
01:01:37Who are you to come into my house
01:01:39and meddle with my family matters?
01:01:41You're not certain to come with me to my celebration dinner.
01:01:43You're nothing but a pathetic
01:01:45and confused whore of a wife.
01:01:48I apologize on behalf of your mom.
01:01:50Honey, I know you came
01:01:52not to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:54Jared.
01:01:56I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:58I didn't come here for you.
01:02:00I'm on a date.
01:02:02On a date with a $2,500
01:02:04at the same time?
01:02:06You'll never make as much as he really is a whore.
01:02:08Please forgive me.
01:02:10I really do love you.
01:02:12Don't embarrass yourself further.
01:02:14Lady Lockhart is here.
01:02:17Lady Lockhart is here.
01:02:21We already know
01:02:23you beat Ford's ass.
01:02:25So greedy.
01:02:27We're too old for that.
01:02:29Another $200,000.
01:02:31Please, you gave me the contract
01:02:33so if anyone should go
01:02:35as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:37Please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:02:39We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:41What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:43Where were you?
01:02:45I took care of all of the students past the week.
01:02:47Again?
01:02:49Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:51No.
01:02:53Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:55I would rather die
01:02:57than be with you again.
01:02:59You knew that they're not
01:03:01actually on good terms.
01:03:03I can't lose face before these bricks.
01:03:05Otherwise, they'll cut me off too.
01:03:07Angela, I know you're still mad
01:03:09but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
01:03:11You want a chance?
01:03:14Angela, no.
01:03:16You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:18Don't take him back.
01:03:20I'll give you two choices.
01:03:22For you, Jared.
01:03:24I'll give you two choices.
01:03:26For my son's success?
01:03:28Me.
01:03:30Or the contract.
01:03:32You're kidding me.
01:03:34No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:36If you choose me,
01:03:38we can remarry this week.
01:03:40But you don't get the $100,000,000 contract.
01:03:43The choice is all yours.
01:03:45You're right. I told you.
01:03:47Did you think so?
01:03:49He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract
01:03:51that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:53Either way, he benefits.
01:03:55Why can't I have both?
01:03:57You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:59Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:04:01I deserve the contract.
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:07A cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way
01:04:09into a married man's bed.
01:04:11He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:13What are you talking about?
01:04:15I choose the contract.
01:04:17I knew it.
01:04:19You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:21With this contract,
01:04:23my company's earning potential
01:04:25is limitless.
01:04:27Angela Lockhart,
01:04:29you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:31Social stratum matters.
01:04:33Let me show you something.
01:04:35Social stratum does matter.
01:04:37And the Coopers are beneath me.
01:04:40And you really think Ellen Musk
01:04:42would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
01:04:44You saved me.
01:04:46You're delusional.
01:04:48Sign the papers and scram!
01:04:50You saved me.
01:04:52I'm sorry
01:04:54if his lies
01:04:56led to me wasting three years of your life.
01:04:58But I promise you,
01:05:00I'm going to make it up to you
01:05:02with the rest of our lives.
01:05:04No, no!
01:05:06I wasn't lying.
01:05:09I remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:11Get the fuck out!
01:05:18Does that mean
01:05:20we both each saved her once?
01:05:22What? Me?
01:05:24And Dr. Wilson?
01:05:26Losing out to saving people?
01:05:28No way.
01:05:30You guys, one of you,
01:05:32do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:34You're great.
01:05:36And actually,
01:05:38I would like my ring back.
01:05:40What?
01:05:42Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:44Turns out they've been fletching the numbers
01:05:46on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:48Put it simply,
01:05:50they've been stealing from me.
01:05:52I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:54Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:56I should have had third-party accountants
01:05:58check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault.
01:06:02They're just too slick.
01:06:04You'd like me to punish them?
01:06:07Please.
01:06:09Is that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
01:06:13It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
01:06:17It's probably just cheap glass.
01:06:19It's something she found at the Footly Market.
01:06:21You're right.
01:06:23She could never afford anything so expensive.
01:06:25The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:27All business ties have been severed.
01:06:29We're bankrupt!
01:06:32I'm back.
01:06:34I died.
01:06:36How did you do that?
01:06:38Who are you?
01:06:40Don't say Spider-Man!
01:06:42I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:44And nobody's my friend?
01:06:46I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:48Everything's thanks to you.
01:06:50I am Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:52What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:58You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:07:00No, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:02See? You are Number One at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:06Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:08It's all about young money now.
01:07:10So, what do I do?
01:07:18I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:20I'll spy too.
01:07:30They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:32I still have the $100 billion project.
01:07:34Yes!
01:07:36I'm rich!
01:07:38I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:40I finally found you.
01:07:42Who is he?
01:07:44What?
01:07:46Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:48The Maple Closet contract requires us to provide 50% of the cost of furniture.
01:07:50We've never won before.
01:07:52We've never won before.
01:07:54We've never won before.
01:07:56We've never won before.
01:07:5950% of the cost up front.
01:08:01Otherwise, it's a breach of contract, and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:03No!
01:08:05And you're bankrupt!
01:08:07Look,
01:08:09I'm Angela Loughran.
01:08:11You tricked me!
01:08:15So, after running away
01:08:17and leaving me single for three years,
01:08:19I figured out how you're going to make it up to me.
01:08:21Sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials
01:08:25for our special guest.
01:08:27For our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:31Cheers.
01:08:32That tiara looks perfect on you.
01:08:37What is she doing here?
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:42You skank!
01:08:44My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hoping to live with another man?
01:08:47Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law's never appreciated you.
01:08:52That's right, so I guess this is it.
01:08:55You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:01Couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:07Angela?
01:09:10Your future with me?
01:09:14It's gonna be different.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:18Stairs.
01:09:26Exit.
01:09:28Tears, tears, tears.
01:09:31Tears, I'm sorry.
01:09:36Bob.
01:09:38Devin, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:43Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:46Angela.
01:09:48I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right, I fell in love with you three years ago too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:10:09Kiss!
01:10:10I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You're a motivation to go to business school.
01:10:16Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:21Guest list.
01:10:23Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:31All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, shit like that.
01:10:38Are you trying to steal my soul?
01:10:42I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:45Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:47Angela!
01:10:50I like this girl. I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:04It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:08Watch the guy, sell teeth.
01:11:10Can you cure him?
01:11:11I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:13It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:17Household salt.
01:11:21I'll do my best.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:28There you go.
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:45We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:47So, that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:52I barely remember.
01:11:54I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:57Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:02You wouldn't have known.
01:12:03I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:05If that makes you feel any better.
01:12:07Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:13Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:18Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
01:12:19That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a jiggler.
01:12:23Who could that be?
01:12:25Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:32Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:36Bankrupt?
01:12:37The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:12:41Well then, get out of here.
01:12:43You can't do this to me.
01:12:48Jared.
01:12:49Mom, it's me.
01:12:50What happened?
01:12:52Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:00What?
01:13:04Jared Cooper.
01:13:07We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:13:11No one is going to save you now.
01:13:14Mom!
01:13:18What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:22Yesterday.
01:13:23Who are these peasants?
01:13:25Who will you pick?
01:13:26These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk and her special guest.
01:13:29I...
01:13:30Shut up, old man.
01:13:32You're disturbing the peace.
01:13:35I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:36Fried chicken?
01:13:37Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I do, but he doesn't.
01:13:42Do you have any idea how many generations of wealthy have...
01:13:43Such noblesse minutes!
01:13:45At least I don't have to speak like an AI robot.
01:13:48Hey, stop. Stop.
01:13:51Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:13:53I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:56Kaylee!
01:13:57I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:00You know what I mean.
01:14:01Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:09Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:13Cole, the general?
01:14:16Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:19Angela can handle this all. She'll be fine.
01:14:22Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:26Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:14:29But when she does, she will take this eternal rose, made from glass, imported from Venice, and give it to our winner.
01:14:36I'm Harvey Evans.
01:14:37Angela.
01:14:38The most important investor in the entire stock market.
01:14:40Angela.
01:14:42Oh, I...
01:14:45I need more time to think.
01:14:51While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:57Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:00Let's start with Cole.
01:15:02You're fucking delusional, Angela.
01:15:04We've had enough of your games.
01:15:06Security!
01:15:07There's not much to say.
01:15:08Break their limbs.
01:15:09Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge muscles, a massive chest, who would protect their wife?
01:15:18I can handle myself, thank you.
01:15:20Okay, thank you.
01:15:22Uh, Shane, you're all despicable.
01:15:25Muscles?
01:15:26Money?
01:15:28They'll only get you so far, but you need a well-balanced man like me that has more than one way to keep a lady happy, if you know what I mean.
01:15:35Destroy Jared Cooper.
01:15:37Cut off all business ties.
01:15:39I think we do.
01:15:41And Devin.
01:15:43That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:50I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:52A lot of choices to make.
01:15:54But to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
01:15:56She's my queen.
01:15:57You're an orphan.
01:15:58I just hope she's okay.
01:15:59Who sells hippie spices in flea markets.
01:16:00And one more thing.
01:16:01What kind of a doctor?
01:16:02You have nothing.
01:16:03And you will always be nothing.
01:16:05That's a good point.
01:16:07Fat for her heart.
01:16:08Gold digger.
01:16:10And then you.
01:16:11What?
01:16:12You know what they say about military men.
01:16:14Yeah, you're a little too crazy.
01:16:15They beat their lives.
01:16:17Mr. Vanderbilt, we shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
01:16:19They might have sent Miss Ellen Musk in as a special guest.
01:16:21No!
01:16:22Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:24She's only here to try me.
01:16:25We might be able to make a lot of money.
01:16:26Hey!
01:16:27Keep quiet.
01:16:28I'm going to kill them!
01:16:29Whoa!
01:16:30Break it up!
01:16:31Hey!
01:16:32Break it up!
01:16:33Oh!
01:16:34Oh!
01:16:35Oh!
01:16:36Security!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:38Oh, don't be like that.
01:16:39Cut to commercial!
01:16:40It's actually all work for me.
01:16:41And now you're trying to throw a fit?
01:16:43You!
01:16:45That's uh...
01:16:48You're that special guest?
01:16:51I don't know.
01:16:53Throw them out!
01:16:54And not without some broken bones, too.
01:16:57This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:02What do I choose?
01:17:03Back down, ass.
01:17:08I got this.
01:17:11Angela's marrying me!
01:17:12We're not stealing poison.
01:17:13Oh yeah?
01:17:15I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:23What?
01:17:24Don't you have that gun?
01:17:25Drew Clay has a gun.
01:17:27I won't let you take that gun away from me.
01:17:29I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:31Don't forget about me.
01:17:33It's time I revealed my truth.
01:17:35I did it.
01:17:36What the hell are you two doing here?
01:17:38I thought we were supposed to guard you.
01:17:39Stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:41I don't know if they do not help.
01:17:43Oh my God, we're so screwed!
01:17:53Angela!
01:17:55Don't hurt her!
01:17:59Screw your self-esteem.
01:18:00How dare you insult my boss like that?
01:18:02It's time I revealed my truth.
01:18:04Her boss?
01:18:05Ms. Musk?
01:18:07That's Ellen Musk.
01:18:08I'm asking you to be a part of this.
01:18:09That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
01:18:11And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:15Your clinic is older than this country itself.
01:18:17You're asking her to revolution?
01:18:19Asking her to revolution?
01:18:20Back to the Renaissance.
01:18:22Any of it, she.
01:18:23Your boss can't be Angela Lockhart.
01:18:25That's why you need Lockhart's team.
01:18:27She's loyal to you.
01:18:28And since you're all subsidiaries, she's...
01:18:30We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:34Kneel before me!
01:18:35Oh!
01:18:36Your Majesty!
01:18:38Welcome to the United States!
01:18:43This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:47I may not be able to take them both down.
01:18:49Get us out of this one.
01:18:50Hmm...
01:18:51Wintermute or Coombe?
01:18:57What are you doing, idiot?
01:18:58You know...
01:18:59Let go of the boss, lady.
01:19:00I've always really liked your jacket.
01:19:01Really?
01:19:03I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:06So I appreciate that.
01:19:09Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:10And you know, Coombe.
01:19:11Favarri's really like the way you talk.
01:19:15Really?
01:19:16Yeah.
01:19:19What do you got for me?
01:19:21I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:24Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:26It's fresh, right?
01:19:27Yeah.
01:19:28You know?
01:19:29Yeah, yeah.
01:19:30She's a badass herself.
01:19:34You!
01:19:35You!
01:19:36Hey, me?
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:40Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:41No!
01:19:42No!
01:19:43That worked hard for everything!
01:19:44That fucker!
01:19:45You worked for everything?
01:19:46We have to find her.
01:19:47What, how?
01:19:48Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring, just in case.
01:19:52Well, let's go then!
01:19:54My fiancée!
01:19:55My fiancée!
01:19:59I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
01:20:01I have to...
01:20:02Jared.
01:20:03...figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project.
01:20:04And if I get it, I can take the company publicly.
01:20:06How did you get here?
01:20:08You destroyed me.
01:20:11I took everything.
01:20:15I have nothing left.
01:20:18It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:20:21Greedy?
01:20:22To have sex with my wife?
01:20:24What?
01:20:25I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:27Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now, not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:31This is illegal!
01:20:32You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:35You won't have me arrested.
01:20:37You will take me back.
01:20:40Ow!
01:20:42Bitch.
01:20:44That'll be down a little.
01:20:55Your father will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:57You little heiress!
01:20:58No!
01:20:59Hey!
01:21:00No, Anselmo, please!
01:21:01Anselmo!
01:21:02Come here!
01:21:06You're too late!
01:21:07I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon, it looks like.
01:21:10Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:13Icy does have everything in his coat.
01:21:15Everything except for fruit.
01:21:16Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:21:17Get it already.
01:21:18Just save my paws!
01:21:27You're all good now.
01:21:29Thank God.
01:21:31But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:33What?
01:21:34What are you gonna do to me?
01:21:36Hey, stop!
01:21:38Ow!
01:21:39Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:46I'm glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:48Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:51He's Dr. House's protege.
01:21:53Dr. House?
01:21:54I thought that was just a TV show.
01:21:56No, no.
01:21:57So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:59We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:22:02The Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:04And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:12Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:14The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:16We're down to the wire.
01:22:18Literally.
01:22:19The wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:22Who are these badasses?
01:22:30Beyonce!
01:22:34Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:36The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:38But who's the groom?
01:22:39I'm her fiancé.
01:22:40No, I'm her fiancé.
01:22:41You can both shut up.
01:22:42I'm her fiancé.
01:22:43Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:46Who the hell is he?
01:22:47Any input from the parents?
01:22:49Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:52This is exciting.
01:22:54Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:57Let me think.
01:22:59I like the doctor.
01:23:00He has three badass fiancés?
01:23:01He's cute.
01:23:04The general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:07Since you're all here.
01:23:08And we can't forget about Devin Sterling,
01:23:10the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:11Isn't that right, Devin?
01:23:12Since you're all here.
01:23:13Angela.
01:23:14Help me finish him.
01:23:17At your service.
01:23:19Me too.
01:23:22Very fine gentlemen.
01:23:25Very fine gentlemen.
01:23:27One down, two more to go.
01:23:29I'm really grateful.
01:23:30Bishop to G4.
01:23:32But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:37I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:43I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:45Rook to A8.
01:23:49I'm just kidding.
01:23:50I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:55I thought I was king.
01:23:56Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:24:00I mean, Bachelorette once.
01:24:02They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:05So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:09Literally.
01:24:11Could it be the sexy, protective, general with a temper,
01:24:16I've been bankrupt.
01:24:18No!
01:24:26I've been bankrupt.
01:24:27No!
01:24:28I told you I would remove all of you from status and power
01:24:31if you didn't cooperate.
01:24:32And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all,
01:24:37the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:24:40Mr. Devin Sterling.
01:24:41I'm right with you.
01:24:44Wait for me.
01:24:45Nobody beats me to the finish line.
01:24:47It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:49May the best man win.
01:24:52May the best man win.
01:24:55Drum roll, please.
01:24:59You already have a solution.
01:25:01Never gonna give you up.
01:25:03Never gonna let you down.
01:25:05I want compensation.
01:25:09Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:11What?
01:25:12My ex-husband.
01:25:13Wait, you were married?
01:25:15Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
01:25:18then you can totally back out of this engagement.
01:25:20More for me?
01:25:21No, no, of course not.
01:25:23Just, you know what, I'm gonna check your eyes for a little bit.
01:25:26Don't steal my joke.
01:25:28I can make a decision for you.
01:25:29I need a powerful, strong man,
01:25:30and I really feel like he could protect me.
01:25:35Who could resist those guns?
01:25:36Murderous intent.
01:25:38Let's remarry.
01:25:39I could interest you in an NFT.
01:25:40Let's remarry.
01:25:41Ellen, you're like a full-bodied chipmunk.
01:25:45I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
01:25:56Shane, it's you.
01:25:58I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:00You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:02Yeah.
01:26:05It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:09I hope we can build together.
01:26:11Guns, baby.
01:26:24It's always been you.
01:26:32Hey, you.
01:26:33Watch over her.
01:26:34I will always love you.
01:26:35I love you.
01:26:38Let's give it up for those nine inches.
01:26:39Everybody.
01:26:42Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:43Have you seen my murder weapon?
01:26:44I need proof.
01:26:45I need proof, ladies and gents.
01:26:48Fuck.
01:26:49I'm wittingly gay, and I have my own wife.
01:26:53Fuck.
01:26:54I'm wittingly gay, and I have my own wife.