Women's bondage and liberation || Acharya Prashant, in conversation (2021)

Acharya Prashant

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Transcript

00:00So, talking about women since we are talking about their you know area of pain in this

00:11case mostly you know coming to workforce when it comes to women I have seen that again taking

00:20a very close example I do have few women leaders in my family and of course, your friend circles

00:26you do have them I have seen women constantly negating their own situation sense of leadership

00:35in the sense that you know I mean like I was just telling him as well that you know in

00:42lean in the book that was written by Sheryl Sandberg the CEO of Facebook.

00:47So, she had given this very beautiful example of you know when a man is to be promoted versus

00:54a woman in the workforce the man would be looked at for his potential while the woman

00:59would be looked at for her past experience how you know does she basically fair.

01:07And what happens is women would as far as raising the hands in the class you would see

01:11more of men they are intelligent great that is a great company to have, but sometimes

01:17they are not even that amazing, but they always have this air of you know you will see in

01:22classes while women even if they might know the right answer they would refrain from raising

01:27the hands they would be absolutely plagued with self-doubt.

01:32So, I have seen this across I know again we are you know if we talk about the macro sense

01:39it is really you transcend gender right there is no man woman nothing like that, but the

01:45whole point is that if you are talking like you know if we are talking the level of when

01:52I see everyday women around me.

01:54So, I see across whether they are young women middle aged women whether they are elderly

01:58women they would keep denying their own sense of ownership at the same time you know they

02:05have this fear of being called tagged as you know bossy if they are able to maybe express

02:11themselves forthrightly or in a very you know I mean outright fashion.

02:15So, again I do understand the source you would come back to is I thought I just.

02:22There are two aspects to it you must address both of them one aspect is she is not allowed

02:35to the other aspect is she thinks she does not need to raise her hand and both these

02:49are within her mind and both these have entered her mind from somewhere not allowed to is

02:58obvious the second one is subtle and we probably may begin with this and find deeper inside

03:08the way we train our girls and even before we train our girls the way prakriti physical

03:25nature mother nature not spiritual nature physical nature the way our bodies are constituted

03:33configured the way our hormones are there are so many species in which the female is

03:46not the provider even in human beings if you see it's a bare fact we must accept it

03:57it may or may not confirm to the popular ideologies currently invoked but facts are facts.

04:12So, the way the female is configured biologically she is supposed to be alright with spending

04:34a lot of time in the nest supposed to be supposed to be biologically not by way of

04:43consciousness but by way of the body this indicates a movement out of the nest do you

04:52see this the girl is comfortably sitting in the classroom and the body is the nest what

05:01does this indicate I want to break out of the nest I want to break out of the nest the teacher

05:05asked something I am saying I know I know or I want to ask I want to inquiry I want to inquire

05:11now both knowledge and inquiry are not things of the body they are things of the consciousness body

05:22wants neither knowledge and the body does not want to inquire even if the body seeks knowledge all it

05:29wants knowledge of is things that are related to physical sustenance the body for example will

05:39have very little interest in stuff like history or science yes if somebody says I have two slices

05:49of pizza who wants it then the body will raise its hand but if somebody is dealing with something

05:56else the body is not interested now the girl is born and that's the way her body is already

06:05configured and then how do we raise her and what do we teach her are we teaching her the way of

06:11consciousness or are we teaching her the way of the body and you are teaching her the way of the

06:18body now how is it surprising that she does not want to participate much in the process of

06:25knowledge or inquiry I have this little one at home and happened to visit the shopping mall with

06:39him and clothes were being bought so I noticed that even at that age girls apparels little

06:52clothes very this size they were probably twice or thrice as expensive oh yes as that of little

07:02boys yeah that totally what is the philosophy behind that the philosophy behind that is that

07:08you are a girl oh and you must spend more of your resources towards your body money is a resource

07:16yes yes yes so the boy can save the money for the books the boy can save the money for the books

07:25but you you listen you girl if you have got 2,000 bucks all of that 2,000 must go towards the dress

07:35now the boy can happily have the dress in 600 bucks and with the remaining 1400 he can buy

07:43books or toys or something else maybe a ticket to the museum maybe a ticket to the adventure show

07:49or to the library the girl is supposed to invest herself fully in her looks and her body and her

07:57cosmetics and and all those things now that's the way the entire dispensation is raising her right

08:07and the same girl who was in that merchandise shop the previous evening goes to school the next

08:15morning and there she does not raise her hand how do we find it surprising that's the instance you

08:22know it has to be taken in the new spirit yes if you want to counter it it's very easy to counter

08:29it I expect some empathy when you know these examples are being rolled out because one would

08:37sense of them only if there is a certain listening so these things are happening you know even right

08:48now you know nothing personal here but I am wearing something close to black you are wearing pink

08:53that's true I can't help it that pink is a color that attracts me I am very attracted like I really

09:04appreciate darker colors but for serene moments I do choose lighter colors but then again yeah

09:11where does why not purple right? Colors are just colors I mean they are wavelengths right yeah the

09:18fact is that firstly yeah pink is the color of the nest pink is the color of the newborn baby

09:25yeah right so Prakriti is already pushing you towards pink and then what is the entire

09:35commercial dispensation doing it's bombarding you with pink you want to buy clothes half of

09:42the choices are just in pink the other half in red then the remaining ones in maybe white then

09:48then remaining 10% if you are very particular about diversity you will get in other colors

09:53so that's what is happening with the girls all the time and you have to remember in all this

09:59that boys and girls are not born alike we are born differently and it is the responsibility

10:10of our parents and educators to rid us of our body identification the girl should be raised

10:20to be less of a girl the boy has to be raised to be less of a boy but instead of that happening

10:29the girl is raised to become more of a girl and the boy becomes more of a boy and in this we

10:36must firstly acknowledge that equality is a very puerile myth girls and boys are different but

10:49that difference that inborn that innate difference has to be very wisely very creatively sublimated

11:03dissolved not amplified we amplify that we amplify that so what does the woman become the woman

11:13becomes a hyper woman the man becomes a hyper man profound and then both of these exploit each

11:22other so in some sense then the girl says I do not need to raise my hand because what will I do

11:29with knowledge my role is to be the one in the nest my role is to make the bed and lay the eggs

11:42and bring up the kids what will I do with Newton's laws and they're so guilty when they are in the

11:49workforce they are so torn they are so guilty when they are giving their 5000% here and they

11:55have a baby probably just you know vying for attention and they have that you know I mean

12:00completely overpowering their entire work ethic you know a scary part here even that baby came

12:08out of a conditional obligation when I say conditional I mean something arising out of

12:16your conditioning yes absolutely you are conditioned to have a baby conditioned by the two forces

12:24physical the body cries out for the baby and much more than physical social voices around you are

12:33constantly reminding you reminding is a soft word pushing you oh yes pushing you to have a

12:41baby like I came back to my hometown after I don't know how many years because have always been away

12:48and no matter where I go Tauji's place Mausaji's place everywhere beta shadi kap karoge beta and

12:57it was the hottest topic

13:02when you have no right purpose in your life all that you have in your life is sex if you are 65

13:11now and you cannot physically ingratiate yourself with sex then you want to intrude into the sexual

13:20lives of others younger ones so what do you do you keep poking your nose in the matters of others

13:28you keep asking others about their private matters and sexual lives otherwise what does

13:35one mature adult have to do with these very very personal decisions of another mature adult even

13:44asking for certain things seeking certain information is trespassing it is absolutely

13:51it is simply a violation it's an infringement and it's not civil at all it's not civil if we are if

14:00we are if we are cultured people there are certain questions we would never ask but we are not

14:08cultured we are driven by conditioning that's the difference between conditioning and culture

14:13you know culture is the force that reduces the stranglehold of conditioning on the person

14:23but we are not cultured we are just conditioned even in the name of culture what we get is

14:29conditioning so that's what people are doing all the time and that's and it's so weird because I

14:37tell them you don't even know who I am in the sense like who I am at my core you don't know

14:42me like who are you yeah they do not know their own core how will they know your core and also

14:48again just to complete the story the way we have narrated it so far it appears that only the

14:56women are victims the story is a bit different now you are indoctrinating the girl into that

15:06kind of a role you stay in the nest and you look pretty and you raise the kids and all those things

15:17she suffers right because no person male or female is born to do that she suffers and then

15:25she would take the suffering out on the nearest person possible and that person would either be

15:32the kids or the spouse so it's not as if a man exploiting a woman would be in a happy space

15:41not at all the woman is as much of a person as a man is and this person would avenge herself

15:52in ways direct or indirect and that's going to happen one of the ways of avenging herself is

15:59now that you didn't allow me to be properly educated you fetch me the money oh yes and I'll

16:11burn the money you were the one who restricted me to the house the revenge life so fine I'll

16:19stay in the house but I'll burn the money so you bring me the money and my job will be to shop

16:25it hits home Acharya ji I've literally you're literally so this binge shopping

16:33if you visit shopping malls during the weekdays you you'll hardly find any men the men are all

16:41busy working 80 percent of the crowd there is female now that is revenge shopping you know

16:49hmm he's at the job she's at the shop absolutely yes why didn't you allow me to be at the job

16:57weekend shopping is revenge shopping weekdays shopping weekend the men are also pulled by

17:05the scruff into the mall oh yeah you come along with me correct and carry the bags yes yes yes

17:10but weekdays the men are all you know yeah I know I'm terribly generalizing but I hope

17:16something is coming out of it I very well know that there are couples in which the the woman

17:23is working and the man is sitting at home true all those things are there I know but this

17:28generalization is very deliberate and it is to make a point so excuse me this generalization

17:38but it makes some sense so so that is what is happening you know you exploit someone

17:45you cannot remain at peace after the exploitation or during the exploitation

17:50man exploits woman the woman too is bound to exploit the man it's not possible that one just

17:58plays the victim the victim is is because the victim has her own points of power she's at the

18:06home she controls the home she has the kids the kids are more affiliated to her so there are

18:12several ways in which she can you know turn a few handles it's not good for either of them

18:21not good for either of them and what's the root cause the root cause is not man the root cause

18:26is all pervasive spiritual ignorance which is turning the man into a man and a woman into a

18:33woman which is not allowing either of them to realize their conscious nature the woman is not

18:41supposed to be a woman you have decked her up turned her into a doll and and now one can't even

18:50talk to her as a person you have to talk to her as a woman and if you talk to her as a person

18:58the terrible thing is the woman herself gets offended she'll say you don't know how to talk

19:03to a woman but I'm talking to a person yeah oh my god yes I'm talking to a person and she says you

19:09don't know how to talk to a woman amazing now what is this if you are so steeped in your identity as

19:15a woman how will you ever transcend yourself same with men obviously you you you console a man

19:23after a while the man starts feeling awkward men are not supposed to be consoled you know so so

19:29he'll say okay okay fine fine I'm fine I'm fine he's not fine obviously but he doesn't want to

19:34be seen as a weakling I'm fine so women should not proclaim you know chivalry is dead expecting

19:40the man to open the obviously I mean why would you just you're just contradicting yourself

19:47the more women demand privileges for themselves the more they are confining themselves to their

19:55womanhood and if they are they are they are reinforcing their womanhood so much

20:00then they are reinforcing their own prison so all these things you know

20:04reservation in buses or in trains I mean come on we are we are grown-ups right exactly

20:13you you look at the the the numbers in athletics or something I mean let's look at the 100 meter

20:20sprint right men do it in what what's the Olympic record world record 9.87 seconds or something

20:27how far behind are the women not very far behind so are modern well-fed well-bred

20:36mature women really so physically weak that they require reserved seats in buses that should not

20:44happen and I'm not saying that as a man I'm saying that as a as a well-wisher of all human beings

20:50because if you're doing that that's bad for the woman and that's bad for the man

20:53that's bad for everybody right I understand the the situations in public buses I know

21:02how people behave and all those things we must have separate mechanisms to deal with cases of

21:08misbehavior or physical trespassing we must have separate ways but these things you know

21:17how does it honor a woman to say this seat is for for the elderly the handicapped and women

21:28how do women enjoy being bracketed with the elderly and the handicapped I'm talking of sturdy

21:37strong women you know I'm talking of of the of the modern girl why should she

21:45partake in this nonsense at the same time how do you then Acharya ji know that okay if I'm not

21:53expecting my man you don't need to open the door for me or you don't need to you know I mean take

21:59up the seat for me then how do I know that we are treating each other right like you know who are you

22:05before you know whether you are being treated rightly you should know who you are who are you

22:10hmm are you a woman then you would try to be treated rightly in a womanly way

22:19in a womanly way but if you are that suffering old consciousness we have been talking of

22:25then you would want a man who elevates your consciousness absolutely and the man would

22:31then seek a woman or a man or anybody even as a friend or as a teacher or as a companion or

22:37whatever a barter system of who helps raise and purify define his consciousness you know

22:45even if you are seeking a sexual partner you would have some idea of or some you'd give some weightage

22:54to the fact that what is this person going to do to my mind to my consciousness

23:00that value system that your consciousness is far more valuable than the fact of your body or

23:10biology that's not been driven into us and that will not come naturally that has to come through

23:17education education provided by either the family or the institution but they both are doing a

23:25but they both are doing a dismal job of it but they both are doing a pathetic job no doubt

23:31so so we are just you know hitting each other killing each other running a mock we are all

23:39being violent towards each other it's not that the woman is being exploited only by the man the

23:44woman is being exploited also by the woman and the and the man is exploiting the child the woman is

23:50exploiting the child in some other way it's an entire network an entire ecosystem in which all

23:56are exploiters because all are ignorant and the root cause again is the absence of real education

24:05so does pay parity this this debate that really you know gained this traction pay parity between

24:12uh you know gender inequality i'm not even talking of pay parity no it's just my organization there

24:18are women who get paid much more than men men at similar positions men of similar age

24:29and there are times when they don't get paid as much as the men now that you're saying it

24:34have never even occurred to me that i should look at gender before deciding on their paycheck

24:41it depends on how well you have done it depends on whether you have been true to your potential

24:47it depends on so many things one thing it doesn't depend on is your gender

24:52so see there are certain things obviously you have to take care of if if a girl is

24:59working till late in the night obviously given the social conditions we'll want to get her drop

25:06back to her place so that much the organization will ensure maybe if it's a it's a male we won't

25:13be that careful we'll say fine pick up your vehicle and go on your own and that's all right

25:17even if you have to travel up to the next city 40 kilometers you'll manage so in that sense

25:22obviously we too are partisan we are biased towards uh the the women when it comes to providing

25:31physical security and all i think that's quite fair but when it comes to assessment

25:36uh on how they are doing gender is very irrelevant and gender should be irrelevant

25:43the scary part here is even the women want the gender to be relevant

25:50now that's that's not not if they're not outrightly saying it but they're acting in a way

25:56or representing themselves in a way that shrieks from the rooftops that you are

26:02i'm a woman so i deserve special consideration

26:06you won't get it not at the right places if there is a place that is giving you special

26:13consideration as a woman rest assured that it is also exploiting you especially as a woman

26:23because the way our world is the way the the system of the capital is there are no free lunches

26:36so if somebody is providing you certain special amenities or allowances he would be extracting

26:44his pound of flesh somewhere at some time rest assured but you know that's again a part of

26:52the training the the woman is supposed to feel that men would remain unreasonably and unduly

27:03chivalrous they won't they won't and because there is this expectation drilled into her mind

27:11since the childhood so she ends up making very very bad career and relationship decisions

27:17the man fully well knows how to ingratiate himself to the woman

27:22how to make himself

27:27endearing to the woman all those are set rules he knows you do such a thing this that and such such

27:36trivial and yeah and childish stuff you you present that teddy bear and maybe maybe not

27:42in advanced age but when you are in your late teens or in your early 20s then all those things

27:47they work yeah like magic they work so so so you you you bring this and you

27:55you pay her bills and certain things and the woman ends up making a bad relationship decision

28:02very bad relationship decision and if kids sprout from that decision that decision becomes

28:11practically irreversible now what will she do first of all you are so prone to making a bad

28:18decision because you have been badly educated then that decision is prone to becoming quickly

28:27irreversible now will the woman remain caged or not therefore i have been repeatedly saying

28:39that spiritual education is doubly as important for girls as it is for boys the boys can probably

28:49wait maybe they can wait to receive hard knocks from life and maybe they can get initiated even

29:02at the age of 45 after they have gone through all the hardships and receives the blows and then they

29:09can come and say you know i have i have led a wasted life and now i want to know what the

29:17Upanishads and Vedanta and the saints have said so it can begin for them at the age of 45

29:25it cannot begin for a woman at the age of 45 absolutely if it doesn't begin for her at 15

29:31this is so good if it doesn't begin for her at 15 it will never begin it will be so difficult

29:38extremely difficult in the recently allowed camp there were two women who were sitting out

29:47sitting out of the session venue because their kids were unmanageable think of it

29:53oh ho

29:55and

29:58one had traveled from Bangalore the other one i don't know from where

30:03they had spent money they had taken out time

30:09and they were not attending the proceedings because they had kids to manage

30:16and it was a very precious opportunity for them to to attend the Advaita Mahotsav

30:21they had been waiting for it since long and they would have taken leaves from their

30:27workspaces done all kinds of arrangements i can understand and this is what happens so

30:37even spiritual progress cannot happen when you have raised those kinds of liabilities

30:41it's a bad place to be in and and she'll stand in front and she'll cry and say i know what you

30:50are saying is right i also know what i must rightly do at this time but what do i do with these two

31:00so they actually never happened to come inside they would have come inside but you know

31:06they would have come inside but you know the sessions that we have they are not of

31:11the kind where if you are doing this in out yeah obviously comprehend

31:15so if you miss out you just miss out you miss the train you are either totally in or totally out

31:23you cannot peep in for a while and get some percent of it and that's not going to happen so

31:29so

31:34not that it is impossible at 45 for a woman but it's very very difficult much more difficult than

31:40it is for a man even for a man it is very difficult now imagine the difficulty level

31:43for a woman how do you unlearn right because you've accumulated so much of so much and also

31:50once you have been indoctrinated into thinking that the man is going to be the breadwinner

31:57and your function is to again make the bed it becomes very difficult for you to be financially

32:04independent later on you have never earned a penny all your life how will you start earning at 45

32:12you know the tragedy is there are women who were earning till the age of 28 oh yes and then they

32:19give up on their jobs and then at 45 they realize the the the wreck their lives are and now they

32:26want to resume their careers it's difficult yeah you have forgotten all the skills technology has

32:33moved ahead you have been left behind in all possible ways absolutely so you can still catch up

32:39but obviously it's difficult spiritual education for girls must be supremely mandatory and if one

32:50is parenting a girl child one has to be so loving and so careful it requires much more to raise

33:01an admirable girl then it requires to raise a decent boy

33:12the role

33:16biology and society decide for these two is not at all right not at all right

33:31after a while you know one starts one one one stops feeling that one is exploited

33:39one one gets acclimatized and one develops stakes in the status quo so now even if

33:52there is an opportunity to change yourself you don't change what's worse

33:59now even if there is an opportunity to let your daughter change you do not allow even your

34:05daughter to change oh yes oh yes if a daughter is about to do something adventurous

34:15off-track it's quite possible that the greater resistance comes not from the father but from the

34:25mother one caged bird cannot envision another bird flying so the cycle just continues and

34:43but we need to tell the girls to hold on and you know just build that spiritual wealth that will

34:50sail them through right spiritual wealth not the kind of ideology that we are seeing in circulation

34:59these days the ideology that we are seeing in circulation these days is just an extension

35:05is just an extension of the past you know the thing that says that

35:13girls should be free to make their own choices and all that

35:16now why do i call it an extension of the past in the past

35:24choices for a girl were being made by somebody else and that somebody else was a fool

35:31so he was making all the wrong choices for the girl now today the the the in thing is let the

35:38girl decide for herself and make her own choices and the girl herself is a fool so you still have

35:45a fool deciding for a girl earlier the fool was sitting outside of the girl today the fool is

35:51sitting in the girl's mind nevertheless it's a fool deciding for her so it's not about who decides

36:02for you it's much more about you being in the right and the wise position to make decisions

36:13if you do not know how to make decisions autonomy in decision making is just a curse

36:20is it not so today we have in in the current generation of of teens and

36:30college going girls a lot of this radical thing i'll live life my own way i decide for myself

36:39yeah you live you only live once you only live once my way or the highway and such things

36:44um the thing is you're still coming from the same center your grandmother was coming from

36:52a center of ignorance yes your grandmother knew nothing

36:59you too know nothing it's just that the exploiter in the grandmother's case

37:07was a person other than the grandmother today the situation is actually worse because the

37:16exploiter has entered the girl's mind and is exploiting her from within and she feels this

37:23is freedom so you cannot have freedom without firstly becoming wise being unwise and arrogating

37:34freedom to yourself is disastrous so so there is this education and wisdom

37:41that is mandatory for every human being and much more so for girls

38:04you

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