Mr. Mom (1983) Comedy

  • 2 months ago
Jack Butler ( Michael Keaton ) loses his job due to recession, making his wife, Caroline, the earner of the house and him a stay-at-home dad. As days go by, Jack realizes how difficult it is to manage a home.
Transcript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:01:00You
00:01:30Oh
00:01:43Me oh never better good showers ready
00:02:00You
00:02:09Morning Alex
00:02:12Hi Bobby, you sleep good. Mm-hmm. I'll wait Kenny. Okay, but don't touch his will be
00:02:19Gonna be a beautiful day in Detroit today weatherman says we're going to have sunny skies
00:02:24Now tell you what, there's a lot of traffic out there a lot of beautiful cars, though
00:02:27We want you to roll up the window lean back and enjoy all the good sounds and we're gonna be playing
00:02:31Oh
00:02:47I'm there
00:02:56Morning baby
00:03:01Oh
00:03:07You how did you sleep? Hmm? Should we go get daddy? Shall we?
00:03:18Morning good morning. Morning campers. How's everybody?
00:03:26Great
00:03:31Oh
00:03:38What are we watching here Kenny
00:03:42Robots, thank you
00:03:48Okay, there's a joke of the day what's green and rides through the West
00:04:01I
00:04:03Gotta go
00:04:06Okay, bye
00:04:08Thanks, don't change the thing leave that face exactly like that. All right, I don't want to wash by the time I come home
00:04:12Cuz it looks great
00:04:28Call me later
00:04:31Oh
00:04:38Man what's the record for the least amount of sleep ever? I think Lindbergh has it. Yeah. Well, I think I beat him last night
00:04:46You heard anything Jinx if I did, wouldn't I tell you guys not necessarily? That's right
00:04:52You didn't tell Lou until after he chipped in for gas money. Hey fellas. I'm telling you. It's as simple as this
00:04:57You can't sell cars. You can't pay people
00:05:01Come on, come on relax. I like splitting gas money four ways
00:05:31I
00:05:46Love it, you know, I love coming down here watching something go from the drawing board to the assembly line. It's a treat
00:05:56What's the matter boys you look a little depressed you worried about the land
00:05:59They're slow starters, don't worry. It's preseason. Hey, we ain't worried about the lines. What we're worried about is the line
00:06:07Amen lines
00:06:09Yeah, unemployment lines welfare lines food lines, you know all those lines line line. Yeah
00:06:18You know me and my wife went to the movies the other night. We saw Rocky and I'm watching this movie and I'm thinking
00:06:25There's something about this movie that reminds me of the situation at work, you know, which Rocky was it one or two or three?
00:06:33One I think I don't know. Who's he fighting?
00:06:37Hey, did he have a mohawk like mr. T? I don't know. I don't remember the point is
00:06:42Here's the guy who's taking a pretty bad beating, you know, he's up against the rope his eyes cut was his manager dead or alive
00:06:49All right, forget Rocky. All right, forget I brought it up get it out of your head
00:06:53the point is
00:06:55When you're down, you're not necessarily out, you know, I mean, I mean you gotta hang tough
00:07:04I don't I don't know. I gotta go guys. See you later
00:07:10Well hang tough, baby
00:07:18They're gonna knock him out baby, he didn't see Rocky
00:07:22You
00:07:35Are you crazy what'd you do that for? Why don't you tell me this morning? I was being cared
00:07:40I couldn't say anything until it's official. Wait a minute. Wait a minute guys. Wait
00:07:44You
00:07:51Fired these guys after all they contribute Jack. Oh, don't Jack me after the support Jack
00:07:57Oh man, it's the devotion. They gave you you're fired, too
00:08:03Um, I'm fine
00:08:11Not fired
00:08:14Why don't you give me a break I'm telling you there's blood all over my slide rule
00:08:20No, that's yours jinx, come on, come on
00:08:23Something's gonna turn up you guys you guys a terrific engineer to prove them good enough to catch on somewhere
00:08:29Where am I gonna catch on Jake? Where we gonna get John Nagasaki the roar Valley?
00:08:34You're not exactly walking out of here empty-handed
00:08:37You got your full severance, huh? You got your proper sharing
00:08:41Yes
00:08:44Right
00:08:48Full pro-rata refund
00:08:50this month's gas
00:08:52rate
00:08:53So I have one more thing. I want
00:08:56disability
00:09:14Yeah
00:09:21Yeah, even touch I will there you all right, oh, yeah
00:09:27Okay, cuz remember what Jake said keep that sense of humor. It's critical
00:09:45Oh, it's candy. Come on. Hurry up. That's good. Step two up two three four. That's it
00:09:53Nice boys. You look real nice
00:09:55Does daddy know we got fired yet? Yes, he knows but we're not gonna mention it to him. Are we honey?
00:10:00We want daddy to feel good. Don't we you hear that?
00:10:04Everybody smile real big. Hi, Dad
00:10:09Hey
00:10:11Hi, boy, you guys look nice
00:10:15What do y'all have dates or something
00:10:18Heard you got fired
00:10:20Laid off. We just laid off. I'm technically furloughed sport
00:10:26No, but I'm working on it do you want my will be
00:10:30Actually, I kind of would like it but instead I'll take a kiss
00:10:35Okay, come on everybody let's take dinner we're having special dinner tonight, what are we having Colonel chicken we can't afford that
00:10:45I
00:11:05Know that sounds crazy, but I actually feel great. I don't know why I don't know why but I feel great
00:11:11I do you know because I don't know now. I'll have the time to do some work around the house
00:11:16I've been wanting to get to and you know, we're in pretty good shape. Yeah, we are
00:11:21Wait a minute. What are you talking? What do you think? I'll never get another job again. Don't worry about I already put the word out
00:11:27What would you say if I did too?
00:11:29Dude did to what?
00:11:32Yeah, put the word up. I mean I have a couple of years experience in advertising. I have a college degree
00:11:36There's no reason why I shouldn't try to get a job my way. Excuse me. Have I been missing something?
00:11:40I mean as your phone been ringing off the hook. Oh, no, Jack
00:11:43You think you're gonna get a job before I do? Oh Jack. This isn't a contest. No one. This will be good
00:11:48This is a good idea. We'll make it a contest. It'll be fun
00:11:50I'll bet you a hundred to one. Oh, you don't get a job before I do. Okay, come on doll face
00:11:55Give me a dollar. I don't have a dollar. Oh, you want to bet but you don't have a dollar
00:11:59Hey, I don't want to bet. Hey, I thought somebody said I wanted to bet. Where do I get the kids?
00:12:02I don't bet I don't take bets. I don't believe it
00:12:05Alex Kenny come here
00:12:08I wish you know, it's coming out of my severance pay, too
00:12:13Come on guys hurry, this is gonna be fun. Guess what? I'm making mommy a bet daddy's betting mommy
00:12:19$100 to just her $1. She doesn't get a job before me Kenny hold the money
00:12:24I better hold it dad money makes him crazy. Good point isn't healthy. Well may not be healthy, but it's fun
00:12:38Take the money Carolyn
00:12:41Yeah, I don't want the money
00:12:45Look you won a bet's a bet Jack. I don't take bets and I don't want your money
00:12:50Look, aren't you being a little hard on yourself? Oh, it's fine
00:12:53I mean you have applied to everything on wheels from Toyota to Schwinn. You're gonna get a job any day now, really? Oh
00:13:00It'll be late my first day. I want to make a very good impression
00:13:03How do I look?
00:13:05You look great, you're gonna make a great impression
00:13:09Now do you want to go over that list one more time? No, I don't want to go over the list
00:13:15Okay, let's go over the list now
00:13:17Remember when Kenny starts talking to his breakfast that means it's finished right and Alex has to be to school at 730
00:13:23I'm gonna pick up his one o'clock sharp one o'clock now when Megan starts rubbing her little ears
00:13:26It means it's time for her nap. Don't let her sleep
00:13:28Then she won't go down for afternoon nap. Is it one one o'clock? Okay. Now, wait a minute. Will she rub her ears again?
00:13:34No, just in the morning. Mm-hmm. And please don't let her sit around a wet diaper. Okay?
00:13:38No, Kenny, he'll pretty much take care of himself. Won't you honey? I mean just keep him busy
00:13:43You know give him his tinker toys or his coloring book. See I think Alex will be a little helper. Won't you honey?
00:13:47Mm-hmm, sweetie. All right, just relax. You're gonna be great. There's nothing to this, you know, honey. We got it covered right guys. Oh
00:13:55Boy I'm gonna miss you guys
00:13:58Look now take it easy on daddy. Remember he's a rookie. Bye mom
00:14:01Bye honey, mommy. Yes, it's a jungle out there
00:14:07Very funny Jack what I don't know where he gets this, you know in second thought I think I will take this money
00:14:11I might need it for lunch or something special
00:14:15Actually, a lot of men would love to have this kind of time to spend with their kids on time
00:14:19You're looking at one. Oh, I'm telling you. I'm a regular Phil Donahue here. Yes, you are
00:14:31Oh go get him, oh, thanks for the loan
00:14:50Yeah, you passed it past what we're right on time, but dad you're doing it wrong
00:14:55Mommy doesn't do it like this. We're gonna do with the Jack Butler method. What is this?
00:15:01This is nuts
00:15:09Why are they all honking because you're doing it wrong tell me I'm doing it wrong I know how to do this
00:15:23Hi Jack, I'm in there. Hi, you're doing it wrong
00:15:32This is what I tell all my new mommy
00:15:34We enter from the south and we exit from the north and then we do just a reversal
00:15:39We pick up where little ones don't have to walk between the cars to get to the learning facility
00:15:43Okay, move it out. Remember south to drop off north to pick them up. Okay, it's a good system
00:16:01I
00:16:03I
00:16:05I
00:16:30Actually, I'm very excited to be going back to work especially here with Ron Ron
00:16:35And who would Ron be Oh
00:16:37Ron Richardson
00:16:39Everyone here at the Richardson Franco agency calls him. Mr. Richardson
00:16:45Well, he asked me to call him Ron and when was that in what context in the context of my interview at lunch?
00:16:58Well now before we go in here, let me give you some advice
00:17:01Keep your mouth shut and your ears open and you just might learn something
00:17:05I
00:17:21Run what is your position? Thank you
00:17:28I
00:17:31My father founded this agency on schooner tuna
00:17:37It's the cornerstone of all our accounts
00:17:40so my position is
00:17:43Somebody better figure out a way to sell some tuna fish pretty damn quick
00:17:53We have people to do that
00:17:58Sorry have it
00:18:02Everybody please welcome Carolyn Butler
00:18:09Since you're probably the only one in the room that got a decent night's sleep
00:18:13Maybe you could have a fresh opinion do any of these layouts anything make sense to you?
00:18:19I'm not qualified to judge anything. Really. It's my first day. You ever eat tuna fish. Oh, yes
00:18:27You're qualified
00:18:33Okay, well I let's see here
00:18:40Well, this is very good I like it's a mermaid original
00:18:46Yum-yum tuna bits
00:18:49It's very funny cut the crab
00:18:53Right
00:18:55Look you want me to be really honest with you Ron? No lie
00:19:06Well, frankly none of this stuff would influence me, all right
00:19:09Oh
00:19:13Come on Ron, she doesn't know her tuna fish from a Cheerio damn good thing. We don't have the Cheerio
00:19:39Kenny where the eggs I
00:19:47Have the right-of-way, right? Sorry here
00:20:09I
00:20:12I'm sorry. I'm sorry
00:20:14Kenny did I tell you not to touch the grapefruit next man a half a pound of ham
00:20:20Boiled baked smoked salt cured sugar cured prosciutto or Westphalian. All right, forget it. Just tell you what just give me
00:20:28Give me a half pound of salami
00:20:30Italian kosher hard pork beef cotto or what?
00:20:34I'll
00:20:38Tell you what, just give me give me a quarter pound of cheese
00:20:43American blue cream cottage gouda eat them povolone Romano Swiss you have your entire cheddar family
00:20:50Can you run the hams back one more time? Just I just
00:21:01Stay right here. Okay coming back
00:21:04I
00:21:19Think these are on special doesn't matter. Sorry. Let me check
00:21:24These Kotex maxi-pads on special never mind
00:21:33Alright Ken my baby, who are you?
00:21:54Get me
00:21:57Hey, I'll trade you my kid for yours, thank you. I don't have any kids
00:22:07Do you see my little girl? Yeah, she's adorable. She's lost
00:22:12You left a child in the shopping cart
00:22:15One lost child
00:22:24She's yours and I'm Joan. Hi. Thanks. Carolyn told me you'd be around. Yeah, can I give you hand you give me both them?
00:22:31I don't know what the hell I'm doing
00:22:36We were never in house seven I'm telling you honest not so easy is it well say
00:22:42Might even be the toughest job in the entire world bend your back it drives you nuts in it makes your boobs droop
00:22:50so
00:22:51Don't be ashamed about asking for help
00:22:53Mommy training can be very very tricky and I can help with sitters and shopping and menus and even if you just want to talk
00:23:04Here's my number. All right. Thank you. I'm sorry. What's this say underneath there?
00:23:12Okay
00:23:43I
00:23:53Everybody
00:23:54Mommy's home
00:23:57How's your day? Oh, it was uh, it was terrible. I
00:24:04Mean it wasn't there five minutes and I was thrown into this meeting with people yelling and screaming at each other and then they were
00:24:08Screaming at me and there's a secretary that hates me for no reason. Yeah, we're gonna kick a little ass in
00:24:16The only one that was even civil to me was Ron
00:24:19Ron yeah, you know, mr. Richardson
00:24:22I mean he actually asked for my opinion and when I told him honestly how I felt about something Ron liked what I had to say
00:24:27He did Ron and his group were flying to the plant tomorrow and they're gonna tour it and I was invited to go
00:24:34Is that an unbelievable first day on the job or what I can't believe it how about you guys I can't believe it I can't
00:24:42We can't believe it here how none of us can we're stunned
00:24:47Honey I can't believe this. Oh
00:24:51Well, I don't want to speak to get wet
00:25:04The money must have died why
00:25:09Hey, you don't say anything about a limousine last night
00:25:11Oh, Ron said he was sending a car, but he didn't say anything about a limo. I'll tell him I'll be right down
00:25:22Hey Ron, maybe
00:25:35Well, hello down there
00:25:38Why don't you run and tell your mommy that mr. Richardson is here
00:25:44Strangers in the house
00:26:04I
00:26:17Beat you
00:26:18I'm just waiting for Carolyn. Well, you know women
00:26:25Yeah, I like to think I do
00:26:28On a beer
00:26:30seven o'clock in the morning
00:26:33It's gotch
00:26:35Not during working hours. Oh, I'm sorry pal
00:26:39No problem. Come on over here Ron. Let me show you what I'm doing taking advantage of some of the time off to
00:26:44Add a whole new wing on here and we rip these walls out and of course rewire it. Yeah, I'm gonna make it all 220
00:26:52Yeah, 220 221 whatever it takes
00:26:55Well, you sound like a pretty handy guy
00:26:58Yeah, well
00:27:00Sound like a little bit of everything Ron. I write poetry. I paint sculpt. Oh, oh
00:27:08Carolyn don't you look nice? Thanks. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. No, not at all
00:27:13I was just having a little chat here with your hubby. Um
00:27:16Jack Jack
00:27:19Yeah, he's quite a guy
00:27:21So, I guess we better get going okay Jack a real pleasure Ron
00:27:38Very nice outfit, honey. Thank you
00:27:46Honey if you call I'm not here. I'll be at the gym or I think I'm club
00:27:51I
00:27:58Had you like a little trim on that mustache Ron
00:28:03Yeah, Humphrey is tough he's probably the toughest client we've got but you know, I think you've got two things going for you
00:28:10Number one your experience as a homemaker. You're fresh from the trenches of consumerism and oh, thank you very much
00:28:19And number two you've got a
00:28:22I
00:28:25Let's just say you're an extremely attractive woman
00:28:30Thank you and my husband thanks you too, you know, I'm glad you brought up what's-his-name
00:28:38Jack Jack
00:28:41What do you mean, well, I mean we're gonna be working long hard hours and you might be coming home pretty late at night and
00:28:49Well, if there's gonna be a problem
00:28:51Won't you tell me about it right now?
00:28:55Well, there's not gonna be any problem see Jack supports everything I do as a woman in my career as an executive he supports me
00:29:04And if we can agree that you are an executive
00:29:07Then you can stop cutting my steak
00:29:13Sorry
00:29:21I
00:29:23I
00:29:25I
00:29:27I
00:29:49Don't think we could fit anymore
00:29:52Sure, we can
00:29:54Get some more in there, you know when your dad was in the army we had to run a tight ship
00:30:00There were no ships in the army
00:30:03Just put this laundry
00:30:07Sure anything but tuna
00:30:24I
00:30:30Save a couple steps
00:30:54I
00:30:59Give it everything
00:31:24You got a problem with your horizontal hold, I don't know your wife says you do. Yeah, she ought to know come on in
00:31:42I get 45 bucks an hour
00:31:44Oh
00:31:49Megan
00:31:51You're making me crazy here baby
00:31:55Yeah, yeah, I love you, but you're making me crazy
00:31:59stay
00:32:00Hey, Kenny, go keep an eye on your sister play with her or something. All right, go watch TV
00:32:06You want some chili? Oh
00:32:09Thanks. Hey, where's your mom? Keep the vacuum cleaner? You mean jaws?
00:32:13Your mom calls a vacuum cleaner jaws, yeah, where is it over there?
00:32:30Just
00:32:42I
00:33:13Hi, I'm never just a pilot on your water heater, okay
00:33:19Hi anything wrong no, no fine
00:33:42I
00:34:12I
00:34:42I
00:34:58Look
00:35:12You
00:35:35Crazy you fed a baby chili
00:35:43I
00:36:05Where's Bobby keep the extra diapers
00:36:07Hey
00:36:13Cowards
00:36:19Holy
00:36:37I
00:36:54Sorry, I'm late
00:37:02Well, I'm glad somebody had a good day
00:37:07I
00:37:12Call you when he's ready
00:37:15How about roast today, I don't know does your wife like seafood?
00:37:20Yeah, but seafood smells up the kitchen and it can take hours to get rid of the order. No, how about something simple?
00:37:25Oh, I got a hamburger Wellington that's out of this world. Great. Let me have it
00:37:29Okay, start with two pounds of ground round lean and mean brown it in some butter. Yeah, pardon me
00:37:35Could you use margarine in that or butter on well butters my personal choice, yeah, but butter can scorch Higgins you're next. Oh
00:37:43Why don't you go ahead and and I'll go after you. Well, you were here first. Oh, yeah, that's that's okay
00:37:49I have no place to go and besides that there's not a job available anywhere in the city
00:37:57Okay, but I guess
00:38:01I'd sure like to have a copy of that when I come back
00:38:03Sure
00:38:14Well, you're mad aren't you I'm not mad I'm not mad it's just not where I want to be right now
00:38:20Well Jack, I can't not go. I mean, please do it for me. Would you?
00:38:25You know how many of these things I went to for you a lot
00:38:29We'll stay 10 minutes 10 minutes 10 minutes
00:38:3415 tops. Oh
00:38:36All right. Okay fair enough, but if we stay longer than that, we pull the old anemone. Okay, yeah, Emily, right?
00:38:48Wow, what a house
00:38:51Yeah, probably mortgage to the eyeballs not this one his great-grandfather commander Richardson built it
00:38:58Yeah hand me down
00:39:05Thank you
00:39:07Oh
00:39:09Yeah. Yeah, we're on very proud of her and the children are and we're all real proud of her home
00:39:14She earned that promotion I can assure you Jack. It was a little promotion. I forgot to tell you about it was no big deal
00:39:29But
00:39:31Well, you're a sportsman I was kind of counting on you to take part in this, you know, uh spouses are eligible
00:39:36Yeah, I don't know. Oh, come on. Nobody takes it. Seriously. It's just good clean fun. I
00:39:42Know Ron normally I'd say yeah, but I'll tell you we gotta get over see
00:39:47Carolyn's and Emily. She's sick dying dad
00:39:51Well, why don't you stick around for a few minutes anyway, and you can watch with the rest of the wives
00:39:56I'm sorry. I mean families
00:40:01Hey what boys run down the car and get dad's sweatpants and shoes and stuff
00:40:06Hey
00:40:08Yeah, right. I'll stick around for a while. Okay
00:40:15Like get ourselves a little competition this year, but we're over there's a real jock. Oh boy. It's all we need. Yeah
00:40:26Relax Butler, you're not gonna win. Anyway, why not? See that good? He's the boss. It's his tournament
00:40:35Yeah, but I don't work for but your wife does
00:40:55You
00:41:25You
00:41:55You
00:42:25You
00:42:56You
00:43:21You threw it didn't you
00:43:23Good dad. Thanks. I owe you one Jack
00:43:54You
00:44:16Yeah, please
00:44:23You know what that's gonna lead to
00:44:31I
00:44:36Can't believe people actually watch this stuff
00:44:45So I'm not the father of the child
00:44:50Well, that's some consolation
00:44:53Guess who is the culprit?
00:44:56You don't want to know well, let me guess
00:44:59Probably the deceased. Mr. Cashman, ha wrong
00:45:02Long Nicky doesn't even love you. Come on
00:45:06Buddy, you're making it with your friend Kevin. You mean Kevin Banker? It's exactly who I mean watch gonna blame it on you now
00:45:13You threw me at him. You let him know it was perfectly fine to take me to San Francisco
00:45:19Only he took me to bed first, and it's your fault
00:45:22I tell you I knew it. Wake up. Thanks. You already buried one husband
00:45:28Do you think that I'm gonna let that get into the record for everybody to see or for the child to find out later on?
00:45:38We don't get along it's certainly true enough. No Nicky, I won't do it
00:45:44Yeah, this is cold and the cheese isn't hardly melted down, okay
00:45:51I've got a stake in this kid
00:45:58There you go
00:46:03That's right my own flesh and blood
00:46:07That's right, Nicky, I'm a fool
00:46:11Can you know what maybe it's time to get rid of the will be all right
00:46:21It's
00:46:26More than just pride
00:46:29It's all too much
00:46:33Okay listen, I'd appreciate it if you guys kept it down, okay, because Nikki's gonna get the results for blood test back today
00:46:44We're not sure Kevin's a skunk
00:46:48Kevin gets all the girls
00:46:51I'll survive
00:46:53My mother doesn't want my father, but still we've managed to make a life together
00:46:58So you can just forget about this
00:47:00Yeah, hi, John. How you doing?
00:47:06Gotta be Kevin's
00:47:08Victor how can it be Victor now? I got a vasectomy
00:47:13It didn't take
00:47:15Are you kidding me?
00:47:21Do that
00:47:30Okay
00:47:3125 cent weedies rebate
00:47:35Raise you then the camps pork and beans
00:47:41Well, I'm gonna see your 25 cent weedies rebate and
00:47:45Raise you two tender vittles dollar-offs. Okay, that's it for me. I'll fold Jack. Why are you dealing me this garbage?
00:47:53I'm out. There's been so much more fun and bridge Jack. Thanks so much for thinking of it
00:47:59Come on, are you gonna play cards or flap your gums?
00:48:02Getting ugly in here. Hey, come on. All right. All right
00:48:06I will see you your tender vittles and I'll raise you a 50 cent
00:48:11Yoplait and a two dollar rebate on a Domino's pizza and
00:48:17Two for one son pure frozen entree, how about that?
00:48:22Serious poker
00:48:24And if you ever tried those son pure frozen entrees, oh my dog wouldn't eat him. I love them. I do
00:48:32I
00:48:36I'm calling you
00:48:38With the 25 cent new and improved ban roll on and two 50 cent triple ply hefty bag offers
00:48:45What do you got?
00:48:51Are these any good
00:48:55Well
00:48:58I've got two pair. You've got plenty. Hi kids
00:49:13She's done late already
00:49:17Don't be silly don't get up though pizza. Well, I got a ton of work to do I go upstairs
00:49:22Upstairs listen, we better go here. Come on
00:49:41Joan come on
00:49:43I
00:49:50Think I'm in trouble
00:49:54Loom service, madam. Oh
00:49:58Thanks, but Ron gave me this tuna presentation to do and I'm really way behind
00:50:03Well, you gotta eat something, right?
00:50:05Well, if I wanted something to eat at Jack, I would have come down and had something to eat with you and your girlfriends
00:50:09Oh
00:50:12All right
00:50:13Let's get into it
00:50:15Get into what Jack get into this. The house is a mess Jack. The kids are a mess Jack. You're a mess Jack
00:50:21I'd leave anything else out
00:50:23Why talk about the beer? All right, the beards in its transitional stage right now. That's all when it comes in. It's gonna look great
00:50:31It's gonna look like a movie star. What's his name?
00:50:35Orson Welles
00:50:36No, I'm oh
00:50:39Oh
00:50:43Oh, I get it fat jokes, right, that's real funny. Yeah, I put on a couple of pounds. So what come on?
00:50:48What else do you have?
00:50:49Don't talk about this shirt for a second Jack. All right
00:50:52You're wearing the shirt around the house for about two weeks now can walk around by itself
00:50:55Why don't you retire that thing to the dry cleaning Hall of Fame? Huh? Because it's a comfortable shirt Jack
00:51:00Take a look at yourself. You've really thrown in the towel, honey. My brain is like oatmeal
00:51:06I yelled at Kenny today for color and outside the lines Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows
00:51:12And I'm liking them
00:51:14I'm losing it
00:51:16Honey, I know what you're talking about. I've been there myself. All right. Well, if you were so unhappy
00:51:20Why did you say something about it because I wasn't unhappy look, maybe I was a little confused
00:51:25Maybe I was a little frustrated
00:51:26But I knew what I was doing was important because it means something to raise decent human beings what saw me through was pride
00:51:31I had pride in this house. I had pride in my kids and I had pride in being mrs
00:51:35Jack Butler
00:51:36Where are you going?
00:51:38I'm going downstairs and sleep on the fat couch if I can get through the door
00:51:44You'll be sure to take pride in some of that fat porky
00:51:58Yes, I don't
00:52:05I
00:52:12Hello
00:52:14Joan hi. How are you?
00:52:17Now forget it come on that was days ago. No, no, it was very insensitive of us
00:52:24Carolyn had every right to be angry
00:52:27We're not talking
00:52:29We're doing anything else. I'll be right there
00:52:35I
00:52:49Came as fast as I could you sure did
00:52:55You look great Jack
00:53:02Do
00:53:05You
00:53:13What do you think of this shirt, let me tell you about flannel
00:53:20Gets me hot
00:53:27Joan
00:53:29Boy look fat or
00:53:32Over weighted audio. I like a man with a little meat on his bones
00:53:42It's too
00:53:45Okay about the beard I mean now Carolyn hates the beard
00:54:01Oh
00:54:16Joan
00:54:18Joe you're supposed to be my friend. He's too much man to be left alone Carolyn
00:54:24Really
00:54:27Honey what please come come on. It's just one kiss
00:54:32I'll bet
00:54:34What about the kids the kids are just outside? I've thought of the kids
00:54:39Kids won't hear a thing
00:54:42Shoot me
00:54:45Right God knows I'm guilty. I deserve it. Tell me something Jack. What did it huh?
00:54:51the boredom
00:54:53the repetition
00:54:55The days one flowing into the next the loneliness
00:54:59Well, I did it Jack. I did it for eight years. Don't you think I know?
00:55:04Say goodbye
00:55:25I love this shirt
00:55:27Oh
00:55:54Couldn't hold on could you Jack
00:55:58I
00:56:01Was coming by to call you back
00:56:10Oh
00:56:14What you use a 38
00:56:1738 39 whatever it took
00:56:22Bye darling
00:56:24Tough luck Jeff Jack you bet
00:56:54I
00:57:09Can't join I can't you can't do this to me do what it's time for our poker game the girls will be a little late
00:57:17There's there's no game day the game caught off. Why cuz there's a death in the family. I'll explain to you later
00:57:24I
00:57:55I
00:58:03Get in there and clean the kids room
00:58:24Hey
00:58:26Hey
00:58:29Come on pal. Hey drop off pick up. Let's get straight next time. All right, come on
00:58:40Let's go
00:58:43Please don't let the animals fit. I want you to report the cow. Oh 700
00:58:55I mean, come on
00:59:19Good luck
00:59:24Oh
00:59:55Listen ace
00:59:59You and I have to have a man-to-man talk here now you will be
01:00:06You will be looking bad, but
01:00:09Now wait a minute
01:00:11Now listen to me
01:00:13I understand that you little guy start out with your whoopies and you think they're great and they are they are
01:00:20Terrific, but pretty soon will be isn't enough
01:00:24You're out in the street trying to score an electric blanket or maybe you quilt and the next thing, you know
01:00:32You're strung out on bedspreads Ken
01:00:37That's serious
01:00:40Now
01:00:42Give me the boobie. No
01:00:48Kenny
01:00:51No
01:00:53Okay
01:00:55Give it to me for a couple of days if it doesn't work you got there. We'll be back
01:01:04Please
01:01:19Got a lot of guts
01:01:24Can I have a moment to myself, please
01:01:31Absolutely, you've got
01:01:53You had to do it
01:02:23You
01:02:53You
01:03:23You
01:03:53Oh
01:04:20Tired
01:04:23Yeah
01:04:25Little excuse me. Hmm. How about this food? Hmm
01:04:33Very good. Mm-hmm. He sent out for Chinese food, huh? No Kenny made this
01:04:43No
01:04:45Listen, you're doing a really great job with the kids, honey. I appreciate it with everything you really are. Thanks
01:04:51I'd love to take this time to carry you upstairs and let you tell me all about it, but I think that might take too long
01:05:21Oh
01:05:31How's it going in there huh like having a gum scraped
01:05:37You're on so soon
01:05:41Didn't take Humphrey very long to shoot down every idea we had
01:05:45Looks like you're the ace in the hole kid
01:05:47well
01:05:49I'm ready
01:05:52Okay, you've got my attention shoot
01:05:56Well, these are the last two campaigns for schooner tuna first
01:05:59You gave away four glasses with every can of tuna now as I recall you were stuck with 60,000 of these, right?
01:06:06What is this? This is your life
01:06:09Now a bear with me next came a hundred free trips to Hawaii
01:06:13Now who knew there was gonna be a hurricane that month you were stuck with a hundred thousand of these flower lays. I
01:06:19I
01:06:20Hope the hell you're making a point
01:06:22Well, I am making a point. Mr. Humphrey
01:06:24The point is schooner tuna is one of the three most expensive tunas on the market
01:06:28Now if we want to beat our competitors the time for these gimmicks and giveaways is over with now
01:06:33I don't mean to be disrespectful. Mr. Humphrey, but housewives need your help not your gimmicks
01:06:38Show them that you really care about their problems and you'll win their loyalty
01:06:42And this is what I propose
01:06:45Schooner tuna sympathizes with those hit so hard by this trying economy to help you
01:06:49We are reducing the price of our tuna by 50 cents a can when this crisis is over
01:06:54We'll go back to our regular prices until then. Remember, we're all in this together
01:06:58Signed Howard Humphrey president schooner tuna the tuna with a heart
01:07:02You
01:07:10Well, you've got a plane to catch I'm really sorry Howard well, right you're sorry yes I am
01:07:19Where in the hell have you been hiding this little girl? She's not just selling tuna son. She's selling America
01:07:26Right the tuna with the heart. I love this bleeding hardship. That's that's American. That's what that is
01:07:31That's what I think
01:07:33Well, there's more
01:07:34More there is yes
01:08:01I'm here for mrs. Butler eight o'clock flight, right? She'll be right out
01:08:11Why do you have to go to California cuz that's where we're gonna make the tuna commercial honey, can't you go tomorrow mommy?
01:08:20No, I can't because everyone else is going tonight and I have to go but you know what?
01:08:24I'm gonna be back before you go to your first meeting of the Knights of the Roundtable. I promise
01:08:31Bye honey
01:08:39Wait guys stay right here right here Alex Kenny watch her for a minute. Okay, let me talk to you
01:08:46Two hours notice and you're off to Los Angeles like that
01:08:50Jack there is nothing I could do about it. I convinced a man today to spend 11 million dollars on one of my ideas
01:08:56I gotta go
01:08:58Besides honey, there's gonna be other Halloween's, you know, I know there will be other Halloween's what I'm thinking about this Halloween. I mean
01:09:04Caroline these kids in a couple years grow this thing. Oh, really? You don't seem to have outgrown his Jack
01:09:11All right, I like Halloween
01:09:14Yeah, well, so do I honey remember I was gonna dress up as a prison matron tonight
01:09:18Point is Megan just got two new teeth. I'll bet you didn't know that Alex is playing football
01:09:24Remember Kenny security blanket doesn't have it anymore. He doesn't use it. It's gone
01:09:28You know, if you were here, I was gonna suggest you go as a ghost cuz even when you're here, you're not here
01:09:35Caroline we really have to get going. Hey Madison Avenue lighten up
01:09:40All right, what do you want me to do not go not try not succeed
01:09:44Of course not. I want you to succeed and
01:09:50You gave me some real good advice once
01:09:53So now let me give you some of mine. It's real easy to forget what's important
01:09:58so don't
01:10:04Jack I'm gonna be back in less than a week. Can't we please talk about this man?
01:10:08Come on everything's gonna be all right
01:10:38You
01:10:43Little woman's off again, huh? Shut up Annette
01:10:51Please please daddy will buy you a t-bird. Okay, you want a t-bird, please put your bum down there, honey
01:10:57Okay, I know but yeah
01:10:59Ken she here
01:11:03Okay, please for daddy make please okay
01:11:08Hi
01:11:14Who are you what
01:11:18Who are you i'm your babysitter, excuse me, wait
01:11:24Oh
01:11:37Hi, how are you?
01:11:39Kids, huh? You remember uncle jinx
01:11:42They're big now, huh?
01:11:44Yeah
01:11:45Listen, well what this is about is that's um, it's a review board now. It's a just a formality
01:11:50i'm gonna ask you a couple of questions and
01:11:54Jack if you could back me up, I think I can get you back on at half salary
01:11:59What are you talking about? You didn't say anything about half salary on the phone. Yeah
01:12:03Mr. Latham, mr. Butler, you can go in now
01:12:06According to our records since you and your associates left production in your division is off by 23
01:12:13And costs are up 19. Do you have any explanation for that?
01:12:19I'm a little confused here. I'm no longer with the company
01:12:23I don't know. You might ask mr. Latham
01:12:26we have
01:12:29And i'm sorry jack I covered for you guys as long as I could
01:12:37You covered for us
01:12:44That's a lie that's not true
01:12:48Come on jack
01:12:50Larry and stan were in here now. They already admitted that I covered for them now. Come on
01:12:55It's time for you to be a stand-up guy
01:13:00Larry and stan would say anything you wanted them to say they need their jobs
01:13:08You want me to be a stand-up guy, okay, i'll be a stand-up guy I need my job too, but what's going on here is wrong
01:13:16If I did such a bad job
01:13:18Why did production go down and costs go up after you fired me?
01:13:23Huh? Look, I don't know what this guy told you. I don't know what he does with his books
01:13:29I'm a car maker
01:13:31I make cars. I'm not an accountant, but i'll tell you something. I take a lot of pride in my work
01:13:37Dad
01:13:39Oh, no, son son. You're gonna have to get out of here. Now. This is a meeting
01:13:43Just a minute alex daddy's talking. I know that's not real popular right now, you know taking pride in your work
01:13:49But I did I cared you fired me for it. If you ever talk to my kid like that again, i'm knocking you out
01:14:06Forget the paper there we go
01:14:13There we go, that's it
01:14:17Would you forget the paper
01:14:34Schooner tuna commercial take 24
01:14:38and
01:14:39action
01:14:41I'm howard humphrey president of schooner tuna
01:14:44all of us here
01:14:47Cut cut cut it
01:14:49Carolyn carolyn telephone bill. There's an emotional element missing. I I oh for god's sake. What does he want now?
01:14:57Wait a second. I'll take care of this
01:15:03I got it. Can't you control him?
01:15:11Okay, folks one more time
01:15:16Carolyn how about a little dinner after all this is over?
01:15:21No, I don't think so i'm too tired
01:15:23I really as soon as this is over. I want to go back to the hotel and soak in a hot tub
01:15:26That's all I want to do that. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea
01:15:32Quiet schooner tuna commercial take 25
01:15:38My fellow americans
01:15:41For about 30 seconds today
01:15:43Jack forget about it. The most important thing is that you didn't get fired. That's right. That's right
01:15:50That's a good way to look at it. I guess
01:15:52Listen, you guys get in now and go and i'm gonna get a cab
01:15:56We sprang for dinner you can't walk out on us now. I guess I don't where are you taking me?
01:16:05Got him
01:16:11So
01:16:41Oh my god, these are the same guys from the space shuttle
01:17:08But I think he's looking at you
01:17:12Okay
01:17:22No, don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me don't tell me
01:17:34We're going to jail
01:17:42All right
01:17:47Girls next time i'll call you. All right, don't bother calling me
01:17:53Seriously, it was fun. I'll see you here
01:17:56Take this. I don't think i'm gonna need it. What is it? That dancer's telephone number
01:18:04Will all panelists be sure to have their baggage checked before boarding the bus
01:18:11Please come to the desk
01:18:16So that's why you offered to sit with the kids
01:18:20You knew where they were taking me didn't you
01:18:24Daddy
01:18:25Hi, come on. I'm taking you guys to bed
01:18:27Can we call mommy?
01:18:29No, we can't. She's in california. I want to talk to mommy, too
01:18:34Come on guys go to bed. We'll call her in the morning
01:18:37Well, it's only 8 30 in california
01:18:41Good point in it. All right
01:18:59Okay, be very very quiet, okay, okay
01:19:08Right right right around here will be fine
01:19:11Incidentally, I really appreciate this very very much. No, i'm quite sure you do
01:19:24Enjoy all the good
01:19:42Hello
01:19:44Alex who?
01:19:46I don't know some guy
01:19:51Is carolyn butler there she's in the tub, who is this it's her husband who the hell is this
01:20:11Who was that on my phone, uh wrong number
01:20:18Ron what are you doing? Well, somebody has got to pour the champagne
01:20:23You've been drinking a lot. Haven't you ron?
01:20:26Yep a lot
01:20:28I think i'm gonna have to ask you to leave now. Okay, why there are no kids to go home to tonight
01:20:33Ron get out
01:20:35We could make a great team carolyn
01:20:37Really what the hell is that supposed to mean? Well, basically you dump jack you marry me and it's richardson frankel
01:20:44and richardson
01:20:45Come on, what are you trying to tell me? You're in love with me?
01:20:49Hell no, but the client is all right. Ron. This is my official warning you get out
01:20:54You are so adorable when you're angry ron get out. I'm not kidding. Don't be quiet
01:21:04Oh trying to play hard to get huh
01:21:07Oh
01:21:10Aren't you gonna answer that that's the fourth time it's run in the last hour. Oh, do you want me to answer it? Yeah
01:21:16Oh, okay. Okay. Here we go. Hello. Okay. Oh nobody there I guess
01:21:27Oh
01:21:28Well, you probably want to be alone, huh? Yeah. Okay good
01:21:33All righty, well you try to get some sleep now, okay and don't worry my lips are sealed
01:21:44Don't be so bad when I get your bangs rolled
01:21:48Horrible I don't think i'll be caught upon to defend my honor. I doubt it
01:21:53I
01:21:58Promise jack I wouldn't say anything now. Now remember this isn't strictest confidence. Of course
01:22:23So
01:22:42Oh good another grown-up
01:22:44Oh
01:22:50What happened dad's making some minor changes
01:22:58Hi joan, she's still gonna work around the house. Kenny don't paint your sister
01:23:04Hey butler. Guess what?
01:23:07You had quite a burst of nervous energy last night. Yeah, you should have called me
01:23:12Hey butler
01:23:13Yeah, I think I found your problem
01:23:16What is it this shoe? Oh
01:23:19kids
01:23:21Uh doris's friend of mine joan tv. Hi
01:23:25Kitchen's clean
01:23:27Hi joan
01:23:28I'm gonna check your basement for bugs. I sure hope I don't find any
01:23:33Oh, i'm a little grimy and sweaty here
01:23:36Joan, i'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. You can get a drink
01:23:39You know where we keep everything or watch television whatever you want
01:23:43Okay
01:23:53Oh wow
01:24:07Hey jack, I love what you did to the bedroom
01:24:10Oh
01:24:13Damn
01:24:16Thanks, it's amazing what you can do with the sears card that's from their safari collection
01:24:25You got a problem
01:24:29Okay
01:24:33All right and she's an attractive woman
01:24:37B
01:24:42She wants you jack she wants you bad
01:24:46C
01:24:49I didn't want to think about c d
01:24:55Kenny and talk alex. Alex would be okay. Kenny and doc hit crack
01:25:07So
01:25:17Pam i'm a free agent
01:25:20and
01:25:21I could be in the middle of it. I could have a heart attack. I could die carolyn walks in sees me there
01:25:27I die and get caught
01:25:30Joan
01:25:32Carolyn what are you doing in my bedroom?
01:25:35Huh, this is my bedroom, isn't it?
01:25:42Yeah, well, what are you doing here
01:25:47Is it too early for a drink all right why
01:25:53Why did I get rid of that whoopee
01:25:57Z you're not gonna do anything
01:26:00To me
01:26:02Because you my friend are in love with your wife
01:26:08Joan jack carolyn. Well now that we have the name straight
01:26:11Would you mind explaining to me why I come all the way home to talk to you and I find another woman in our room
01:26:17Oh, look who's talking. I called your hotel richardson answers the phone and I hear champagne chilling in the background
01:26:24You heard that?
01:26:26Now I'd appreciate if you just don't talk to me right now because i'm doing my best to calm down
01:26:30All right, excuse me. I have a household to run
01:26:35Oh jack
01:26:39Oh
01:26:40Oh jack
01:26:41I'm in a lot of trouble. Look i'm not talking to you. No, no, please listen to me
01:26:46Um, I cut the department to the bone and they caught me i've got to have your back. I'll do anything
01:26:53Dad is mommy home. Not now kid. I'm talking here. I warned you jinx
01:27:00Oh
01:27:01Gee one punch
01:27:04You want a company car?
01:27:07Oh, i've caught you at a bad time here. Hey, don't hit me jack. I like what you've done with the place take him to
01:27:12run
01:27:13Carolyn
01:27:14I am begging you
01:27:15Humphrey's gonna pull the whole account unless you come back to work. I told this guy last night 10 times that I quit
01:27:20What'd he do make a pass? I just got a little out of hand and she belted me
01:27:26You quit your job. I didn't like that job. I'm gonna get another job a better one. Anyway, I miss my family
01:27:32I thought you loved that job. Thanks. How about three days at the office and two days at home? Thanks
01:27:36There's no way to do that. I need a person in there jack
01:27:39Will you listen to me management wants you back jack?
01:27:44Thanks. Basement's clean. Okay. Oh, thanks. Look he's offering me full salary and a company car. What do you think?
01:27:51Okay, look burt. Tell him I don't make a move without larry and stan. He doesn't make a move without larry and stan
01:27:56Oh, you got a deal
01:27:57Who are larry and stan? Thanks for a working woman. Can't you understand? I'll tell you something. Oh, thanks larry and stan
01:28:03You really hit him
01:28:05Don't you think I know how to take care of myself?
01:28:09You hurt your hand no
01:28:12No
01:28:18I missed you, too
01:28:27My fellow americans
01:28:29I am howard humphrey president of schooner tuna
01:28:32All of us here at schooner tuna sympathize with those of you hit so hard by these trying economic times
01:28:39In order to help you we are reducing the price of schooner tuna by 50 cents a can
01:28:46When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices until then remember
01:28:51We're all in this together
01:28:53schooner tuna
01:28:55the tuna with the
01:29:09So
01:29:39So
01:30:09So
01:30:39So
01:31:09You