The family fights for survival ahead of the asteroid impact FANTASTIC COMEDY feature film in English
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00:00:00You
00:00:30So this is it yeah, this is it, man
00:00:40Sweetie you know how important this is to your father
00:00:42Can you just try to give it a chance the roof needs work?
00:00:45Well you're here for the summer so you can help me fix it or you can deal with it
00:00:50There's no service here. I'm gonna plant a garden. Why would you buy a house where there's no cell service?
00:00:55There is cell service in a room upstairs. You just have to
00:00:58Knock the window a little bit. I guess that's my room then great
00:01:02It's the bathroom am I being punished for something. I haven't been here 10 minutes, and you're already complaining
00:01:08Just give it a rest, please
00:01:10fine, he's
00:01:18Hello
00:01:20Spence
00:01:22Spencer
00:01:24She's going to need internet thought we agreed
00:01:26We wouldn't let her grow up in front of the screen. We did and then she did it anyway because that's what teenagers do
00:01:32Come on. I just need a little bit of internet
00:01:41Are you the comments?
00:01:55It is unethical, and it is downright NASA is a buzz today over a recent discovery that could
00:02:1024-7 I'm connected
00:02:14Text-message phone call it's life or death
00:02:17Anyone care about all my friends know exactly where to find me when the world ends
00:02:25a
00:02:27Simple life for me
00:02:31Cuz I wanna be free
00:02:35Simple life for me
00:02:38Yeah
00:02:40So stop looking at the screen so we can talk
00:02:45Hold my hand. We're gonna go for a walk
00:02:49I know a place the sun shines through the trees. I'd love to lay down and kiss you
00:02:59The simple life for me
00:03:03Cuz I wanna be free
00:03:07Simple life for me
00:03:18You
00:03:42That was love lies infection with simple life and I'm going in with your morning mix good morning
00:03:48What a beautiful day in downtown Oneonta.
00:03:50Plenty of sunshine on tap.
00:03:52She's still on the radio.
00:03:54This place never changes.
00:03:59All right.
00:04:00All right.
00:04:01All right.
00:04:02All right.
00:04:03Hello, sir.
00:04:04Internet store.
00:04:06Oh, we had a bunch of complaints about our service,
00:04:08so instead of fixing anything, we just rebranded.
00:04:13Well, I'm here for some internet.
00:04:16You've come to the right place.
00:04:18Transfer or new account?
00:04:20New account.
00:04:21Well, it's not for me, though.
00:04:22It's actually for my daughter.
00:04:24But I'm paying, so I guess it's for me.
00:04:27Well, you can't ignore technology.
00:04:29Adapt or die.
00:04:32What's the new address?
00:04:33113 Herrick Hill Road.
00:04:39Oh, no.
00:04:41Oh, no.
00:04:42This isn't good at all.
00:04:43Sir, you can't get internet.
00:04:47Not even a little bit?
00:04:48No, you're right outside our service area.
00:04:51You know, we could run a line to your house, which would cost $33,412.
00:04:58Son of a bitch.
00:05:00Will you be paying cash or card?
00:05:02No, I'm not going to.
00:05:04There's got to be some kind of other option.
00:05:06We do offer a payment plan.
00:05:08No, I mean like a satellite or whatever.
00:05:14Seems like the dishes can't get a signal there either.
00:05:17Weird.
00:05:19Figures.
00:05:21What are you going to do?
00:05:27Come on, Lynn.
00:05:31Hey.
00:05:32Hey, there you are.
00:05:33Sorry, I had to run upstairs.
00:05:35The service is great up here.
00:05:37How'd it go?
00:05:38Well, bad news.
00:05:39We can't get internet.
00:05:41Not even a little bit?
00:05:43Nope.
00:05:44We're outside the service area, and satellites won't work either.
00:05:47So how do we tell Zoe?
00:05:53He couldn't buy a house with working light bulbs?
00:05:57She would like for you to buy some light bulbs.
00:06:09Hey, excuse me.
00:06:10Can you tell me, Kenny?
00:06:15Spence.
00:06:17So you did move back.
00:06:18How do you know that?
00:06:20You know, small town.
00:06:22Right.
00:06:23So how's your pops doing?
00:06:25Passed away a few years back.
00:06:27Yeah.
00:06:28Left me the store, so I'm running things now.
00:06:30Sorry to hear that.
00:06:33Tell me about these smart bulbs.
00:06:34Oh, man, listen.
00:06:35Those are super cool, man.
00:06:36Everybody's buying these things now.
00:06:37Check this out.
00:06:38You can turn them on and off with an app.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:41You can even change the color.
00:06:43Do you want to get some of those, or?
00:06:44No.
00:06:44I'll just stick with the dumb bulbs.
00:06:46Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
00:06:47Cool.
00:06:48Hey, so where's the new house?
00:06:50Outskirts of town, yeah.
00:06:52Couple miles out.
00:06:53Oh, cool, cool.
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55Well, thanks.
00:06:55No problem, man.
00:06:57You know, I don't need a bag.
00:06:58Oh, yeah, I got you.
00:07:03Cool.
00:07:03So how about yourself?
00:07:07You have family in town, or?
00:07:10Nah, nah.
00:07:12Just the store.
00:07:14Yeah?
00:07:17Big news day, huh?
00:07:18Oh, you didn't hear?
00:07:19Man, NASA's making some huge announcement.
00:07:22Yeah, they've been talking about it all day.
00:07:24NASA?
00:07:25Bunch of bullshit.
00:07:26You guys know the Earth is flat, right?
00:07:27I wonder what the big news is going to be.
00:07:28I'm not going to say aliens.
00:07:30Unless I know about the outside world, the better.
00:07:32I hear you, man.
00:07:33Hey, listen, we should get together or something.
00:07:35You know, grab a beer.
00:07:36Yeah, sometime.
00:07:37I got to get back to the house.
00:07:38Let me get my number for you here.
00:07:40You know what?
00:07:41I just have so much to talk about.
00:07:42Oh, no, no, one second.
00:07:43Let me find the pen.
00:07:44You don't have to do that.
00:07:45Nah, no problem.
00:07:46I should probably get going.
00:07:47A lot of work to do.
00:07:48Here we go.
00:07:49Yeah.
00:07:50One second.
00:07:51Let me see here.
00:07:52Here we go.
00:07:53That's my sale.
00:07:55Great.
00:07:57All right, thanks.
00:07:58Hey, man, good seeing you.
00:08:01Have a good day.
00:08:01You too.
00:08:06And it looks like NASA is about ready to go live.
00:08:09We're going to switch over to them right now.
00:08:12Thank you for your time.
00:08:13A little over eight hours ago, a near-Earth object, or NEO,
00:08:18was spotted by one of our telescopes.
00:08:20It was not detected earlier due to its trajectory originating
00:08:23from behind the sun.
00:08:24According to our admittedly early calculations,
00:08:28we predict that an asteroid will strike somewhere
00:08:31within the continental United States
00:08:34within the next 72 hours.
00:08:36We will have more information about its exact impact
00:08:39points in the near future, but we are now going to open up.
00:08:44Come on, now?
00:08:46I'm sure everything's going to be fine.
00:08:48We're in the middle of nowhere in upstate New York.
00:08:50Everything is not going to be fine, mom.
00:08:51Even if it hits in the middle of Idaho,
00:08:53it could start a chain reaction, supply chains breaking down,
00:08:56power grids overloading, not to even mention
00:08:58the environmental impact.
00:08:59Sweetie, humans have been facing adversity
00:09:02since the dawn of time.
00:09:03And no matter what comes our way,
00:09:05we always find a way to figure it out.
00:09:08Tell that to the dinosaurs.
00:09:14Hi, this is Tom Simmons calling from News 1.
00:09:16How big is this asteroid?
00:09:18Our current calculations put it at 50 meters across,
00:09:22burning down to approximately five meters
00:09:24once it gets through the atmosphere.
00:09:26While small, it can still do significant damage.
00:09:30Hey!
00:09:32Hey!
00:09:39Excuse me.
00:09:41Hey.
00:09:43Hello?
00:09:46Excuse me.
00:09:51Hey.
00:10:01It's going to hit your house.
00:10:04Come again?
00:10:07The asteroid.
00:10:10No, they said they don't even know where it's going to hit.
00:10:13Trust me.
00:10:15They know exactly where it's going to hit and when.
00:10:21They just don't want to start a panic yet.
00:10:25OK.
00:10:27Who are you?
00:10:31Wilson.
00:10:32Live right up the road.
00:10:34Saw you guys moving in earlier.
00:10:36Figured I'd come down, say hey.
00:10:45Spencer.
00:10:47Just bought the place.
00:10:49I hope you kept the receipt.
00:10:50Yeah.
00:10:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:10:55Go.
00:10:56Off my property.
00:11:04Sweetie, we have to be optimistic.
00:11:06Please stop calling me sweetie.
00:11:08I'm not a kid anymore.
00:11:08And you can't just optimism your way through everything.
00:11:16No internet?
00:11:18No.
00:11:19Not yet.
00:11:21Great.
00:11:23Just great.
00:11:26Should get some light bulbs.
00:11:28There you go.
00:11:30There you go.
00:11:39You're welcome.
00:11:42So thoughts?
00:11:46Thoughts about what?
00:11:47The asteroid?
00:11:53I really don't think it's anything
00:11:54we have to worry about.
00:11:55It's probably going to hit an Idaho or something.
00:11:57It's not a problem.
00:12:02You guys going to feed me tonight
00:12:03or am I just going to starve?
00:12:08She's right.
00:12:10We don't have any food in the house.
00:12:12Yeah.
00:12:13OK.
00:12:14No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:12:15It's OK.
00:12:16You don't have to go back out.
00:12:17We'll order delivery for dinner and then
00:12:21we can go to Nick's Diner for breakfast.
00:12:22It just reopened, right?
00:12:24It'll be fun.
00:12:25Perfect.
00:12:26Thank you.
00:12:27Big news has been brewing, folks,
00:12:29from NASA, of all places.
00:12:32An asteroid on its way to Earth.
00:12:35Not sure where it's going to hit,
00:12:36but of course you can expect it will keep you up to date.
00:12:39Right here on your home.
00:12:40Cool place, huh?
00:12:41Yeah, it's cute.
00:12:42Yeah.
00:12:44How old is this place?
00:12:46Well, it was built about 100 years ago.
00:12:48It was a popular spot on the railroad.
00:12:51As long as the food doesn't give me the plague.
00:12:53Well, that was the 1400s, not the 1900s.
00:12:57Thought you were going to college next year.
00:13:00I must have fallen asleep during plague class.
00:13:03What?
00:13:04One of these times you got to order your own five.
00:13:06Well, you never finish yours.
00:13:09It's because I know you're going to eat them.
00:13:10Aw, that's so sweet.
00:13:14So you said you ran into one of your old friends
00:13:16at the hardware store?
00:13:17Lenny?
00:13:19Kenny.
00:13:21He's an acquaintance.
00:13:22He's definitely not a friend.
00:13:24Well, maybe you can change that.
00:13:27I don't think so.
00:13:28Is he an asshole or something?
00:13:29Zoe.
00:13:31No, he's just a guy who never left.
00:13:34And I'm too old for new friends.
00:13:37What do you want to do today?
00:13:39We brought two vehicles for a reason.
00:13:42I want to work on the house.
00:13:44OK, then you do that.
00:13:47Zoe and I will go talk to the phone people.
00:13:50Right, Zoe?
00:13:52Interview time.
00:13:53Good luck.
00:13:54All right.
00:13:55Good luck.
00:14:03Remember when she used to give everybody high fives?
00:14:06When she was two?
00:14:09She's a teenager.
00:14:09They do two things.
00:14:10They mope and hate their parents for having them.
00:14:14I was hoping you'd skip that phase.
00:14:16Well, it is a phase.
00:14:18So the good news is she will grow out of it.
00:14:21Someday, something will happen that
00:14:22puts it all into perspective.
00:14:24And then she will give you as many high fives as you want.
00:14:29OK, I got to get out of here.
00:14:30OK.
00:14:31Good luck at the phone store.
00:14:35Thank you.
00:14:37I love you back.
00:14:41Yeah, so what kind of classes would I be taking
00:14:44until I decided my major?
00:14:46Hey.
00:14:49Oh.
00:14:50No, I mean, yeah, I guess that's fine.
00:14:54I just, I don't know, I thought maybe something
00:14:57more creative than that.
00:15:01NASA's press conference is going live in a few hours.
00:15:04Hopefully, we're going to learn where this asteroid is hitting
00:15:06and when.
00:15:09The world has sent their thoughts and prayers
00:15:10to America.
00:15:15OK.
00:15:17Good.
00:15:18OK.
00:15:31So how'd your interview go?
00:15:37It was all right, I guess.
00:15:40You guess?
00:15:42I don't know what I want to do with my life.
00:15:44My admissions counselor says photography isn't a job.
00:15:49I just want it to have a purpose.
00:15:55Then again, I should probably pick somewhere to go
00:15:57so I don't have to stay in the middle of dad's midlife crisis.
00:16:00Hey.
00:16:01Hey.
00:16:01Come on in.
00:16:02It's fine.
00:16:03Just go sit down.
00:16:04Just sit.
00:16:05OK.
00:16:12Hey.
00:16:13Hey.
00:16:15How's it going?
00:16:16Good.
00:16:17OK.
00:16:18Isso.
00:16:19So I guess I figured I might stop shopping
00:16:21and give him a little something.
00:16:23Can you give me a little something?
00:16:25What do you mean, you want me to give you something?
00:16:27Okay.
00:16:29♪♪
00:16:33-♪♪
00:16:37-♪♪
00:16:39-♪♪
00:16:42Yeah, hello?
00:16:44Hey, Kenny.
00:16:45Uh, it's Spencer.
00:16:46Sorry to bother you.
00:16:47I tried catching you at the hardware store.
00:16:50Dude, it's Sunday.
00:16:51Day of rest.
00:16:53I didn't know you were religious.
00:16:55No, I'm not.
00:16:57Okay.
00:16:58What's going on, man?
00:16:59Uh, well, listen,
00:17:00I was trying to get some painting done today,
00:17:02and I ran out of primer.
00:17:04Oh, you need primer?
00:17:05Hey, I can swing by with a few cans.
00:17:07Are you sure?
00:17:08Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem.
00:17:09Besides, I wanted to see the new house anyway.
00:17:11Hey, maybe after that, we can go grab that beer, huh?
00:17:14I tell you what, you bring me that primer,
00:17:16and beers are on me.
00:17:17Ha ha ha!
00:17:18My main man.
00:17:19All right, it's a deal.
00:17:21Deal.
00:17:24Shoot.
00:17:31Phone store?
00:17:33I hate this town.
00:17:35Come on.
00:17:37Hey, folks, could you just sign in?
00:17:40We're the only ones here.
00:17:42Yes, but we need you to sign in.
00:17:45You have to be shitting me.
00:17:46Zoe.
00:17:49I'm not giving you my e-mail.
00:17:51We need you in our system.
00:17:53So you can turn around and sell my information?
00:17:55No thanks.
00:17:57It won't let me proceed without an e-mail address.
00:18:00It's fine, I'll take care of it.
00:18:06Okay, we're checked in.
00:18:08Great.
00:18:14Lynn Coleman?
00:18:16Lynn Coleman?
00:18:18That's me.
00:18:19Great.
00:18:20Chad will see you at the desk.
00:18:23What's up, guys?
00:18:25How can we help today?
00:18:26We just moved here from the city,
00:18:27and I have zero cell service.
00:18:28Ugh, super bummer.
00:18:30Let's check out your service area.
00:18:32What's your address?
00:18:33Uh, 113 here at Kill Road.
00:18:36Aw, bummer.
00:18:38You guys are in the dead zone.
00:18:40Just gonna have to get a signal booster,
00:18:42use your phone as a hotspot.
00:18:43Listen, I have college admissions interviews I have to do,
00:18:45there are shows I want to watch.
00:18:46Do we have unlimited data?
00:18:48Nah, you probably get limited unlimited.
00:18:50I'm sorry?
00:18:52Limited unlimited.
00:18:53It's essentially unlimited until you hit the limit.
00:18:56That's when you get limited.
00:18:58Why are we paying for unlimited then?
00:19:00Well, because it's limited unlimited.
00:19:02Listen, how much for unlimited unlimited?
00:19:05That's the presidential package.
00:19:07That's gonna be...
00:19:09$500 a month for the first line,
00:19:11$4.99 every line after that.
00:19:13I'm sorry, Zoe, we can't afford that.
00:19:16Great.
00:19:18Thanks, Chad.
00:19:20You've been absolutely no help whatsoever.
00:19:23It's okay, we'll figure it out.
00:19:25Come on.
00:19:27Hey!
00:19:29You doing anything later?
00:19:31Ew.
00:19:38Spence!
00:19:39Yo, up here.
00:19:40Hey, prime and delivery.
00:19:42Perfect timing.
00:19:44Hey, man, you wasn't kidding about being on the outside of town.
00:19:47No, just the way I like it.
00:19:49I dig that, man.
00:19:53There you go.
00:19:54Think you can give me a hand with something?
00:19:55Oh, yeah, sure, what's up?
00:19:57All right.
00:19:58Yep, there you go.
00:20:02Slide up.
00:20:03Yep, there you go.
00:20:04There you go.
00:20:05All right.
00:20:06Thank you.
00:20:07No problem, no problem.
00:20:10What, got something on my face?
00:20:12Nah, nah.
00:20:13You know, it's just that usually when people go through a midlife crisis,
00:20:16they, you know, buy a Corvette.
00:20:18Is that what you think this is?
00:20:20I'm just saying, man.
00:20:22You never used to shut up about leaving.
00:20:24Now you bought a house.
00:20:25Well, it's more than just a house.
00:20:28It's kind of a long story.
00:20:29Yeah?
00:20:30Well, how about you tell me that long story over that beer?
00:20:33All right.
00:20:34Let's do it.
00:20:35Let's do it.
00:20:39Zoe, can you see who that is, please?
00:20:41It's Dad.
00:20:43Can you pick it up and put it on speaker?
00:20:45I don't have a phone, Mom.
00:20:49Hey, you.
00:20:50Hey.
00:20:52Bad news.
00:20:53We're outside the service area.
00:20:55I'm starting to see a theme here.
00:20:57How's Zoe handling it?
00:20:58My life is a nightmare.
00:21:00Well, Kenny stopped by and I owe him a beer,
00:21:02so we're going to go downtown.
00:21:04Catch NASA's big announcement.
00:21:06Oh, yay!
00:21:07You two can bond.
00:21:09Okay, then we'll just be back at the house.
00:21:11Got it.
00:21:12Well, it won't be long.
00:21:13Love you.
00:21:14I love you back.
00:21:17Figures.
00:21:18We have perfect signal in town,
00:21:19and the second we get home, it's gone.
00:21:31Watch this.
00:21:38See what I just did?
00:21:41You crossed the street?
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:44Didn't have to wait five minutes at the corner to do it.
00:21:47Found a parking spot, I made a left.
00:21:49Yeah.
00:21:50Nothing's stopping me today.
00:21:52Really that bad down there, huh?
00:21:54Yep.
00:21:56You know, some people like city life.
00:21:58One thing I learned, it's not for me.
00:22:01People living on top of each other,
00:22:02struggling to survive,
00:22:04not doing that.
00:22:06I hear you, man.
00:22:08I've been here forever,
00:22:09and doesn't really seem like I'm missing much from the city,
00:22:12you know?
00:22:13It's always there if I want to see it.
00:22:15This is a great place to just...
00:22:18live.
00:22:20Yeah.
00:22:23I think everything's going to be all right.
00:22:24Yeah.
00:22:37That's one reason to hate small towns.
00:22:40That's the guy that was on my property.
00:22:43Really?
00:22:44Well, you might want to keep him off your property.
00:22:47What's the back story there?
00:22:50Well, I'd rather not get into it.
00:22:53All right.
00:22:55Well, he's on his end of the bar, we're on ours.
00:22:59What'll it be, guys?
00:23:01Oh, I'll have a hamagang,
00:23:03and then whatever this guy wants.
00:23:05Mm.
00:23:06Surprise me.
00:23:07NASA should be starting their press conference any minute now.
00:23:11I wonder where this thing's going to hit.
00:23:14Hopefully somewhere nobody lives.
00:23:17Like Idaho.
00:23:19In any case, I'm sure we're fine here in Oneondo.
00:23:22Here you go.
00:23:26Thanks for the beer.
00:23:28Well, thanks for the primer.
00:23:30Eh, no problem.
00:23:32Here you go.
00:23:41So.
00:23:43So.
00:23:45Why'd you come back?
00:23:51I was hoping to be a couple beers deep before touching that one.
00:23:55Well, I'm a very impatient man, sir,
00:23:58so why don't you go ahead and spill it?
00:24:03You remember back in middle school when my mom died?
00:24:08Yeah, of course.
00:24:10Well, me and my dad, we moved down to the city after that.
00:24:15Then he had to bust his ass twice as hard just to make ends meet.
00:24:20But he did it, you know?
00:24:23Worked the same job for 45 years, built up a nice pension.
00:24:27And he did it.
00:24:29Not a lot of people can say that, you know?
00:24:32Yeah.
00:24:34Then on that last day, he handed in his hard hat,
00:24:38got that first retirement check.
00:24:41And as he was driving home,
00:24:44he, uh...
00:24:46he had a heart attack.
00:24:49Right behind the wheel.
00:24:52He crashed into a light pole.
00:24:55He just died at the scene.
00:24:59Check uncashed in his pocket.
00:25:05And as I was watching him getting lowered into the ground,
00:25:08I made a promise.
00:25:11I wasn't gonna go out like that.
00:25:14I was gonna find a way to provide for my family
00:25:18and enjoy what little time I have on this planet
00:25:21and not spend my whole life working
00:25:25just to die on the day that things finally work out.
00:25:31Put a stake in the ground,
00:25:34and I'm gonna provide for my family.
00:25:38And that's what I'm doing here.
00:25:44Damn, man.
00:25:47I wish I was a couple beers deep.
00:25:50You asked.
00:25:54Three people are killed and one is in critical condition
00:25:57after a gender reveal party gone horribly wrong.
00:26:00Hold on a second, folks.
00:26:02We're getting word from NASA.
00:26:04Switching you over.
00:26:06Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in.
00:26:08We have narrowed down an almost precise point of impact
00:26:12for the asteroid that is headed towards the United States.
00:26:15The asteroid is currently on track to collide within 48 hours.
00:26:20And the point of impact will be...
00:26:23...Wenanta, New York.
00:26:25We will have more information as it develops,
00:26:27and our thoughts and prayers are with the citizens of Wenanta.
00:26:33You have to be shitting me.
00:26:35Right? It's not that hard to pronounce.
00:26:37It's O-ne-anta.
00:26:40Yes!
00:26:42Are you insane?
00:26:44Dude, you don't understand.
00:26:46Whenever there's a crisis, people shop like maniacs.
00:26:50Okay, okay, okay.
00:26:52I gotta get back to the store.
00:26:54Clean out my inventory.
00:26:56We'll catch up soon, all right?
00:26:58You're taking this extremely well.
00:27:00Oh, no, no, no.
00:27:02It'll be fine.
00:27:04See you, man.
00:27:20Okay, I'll bite.
00:27:24Tell me everything.
00:27:26Not here.
00:27:30Can I get a ride?
00:27:32No. Let's go.
00:27:50I'm gonna get the hell out of Dodge.
00:27:54Mom?
00:27:56What are we gonna do?
00:27:58I don't know.
00:28:00But we are on the outskirts of town.
00:28:02Maybe it'll hit more towards the center of town.
00:28:04That doesn't matter.
00:28:06It could hit...
00:28:08What's the name of that stupid town?
00:28:10The one with the Baseball Hall of Fame?
00:28:12Cooperstown?
00:28:13Cooperstown.
00:28:14It could hit Cooperstown, and that's still too close.
00:28:16I'm gonna go check it out.
00:28:18I'm gonna go try to call your father.
00:28:22All right, talk to me.
00:28:24I told you.
00:28:26They've known where it was going to hit since day one.
00:28:28How? How did you know that?
00:28:32I've got people.
00:28:34Oh, my God. Come on.
00:28:37Zoe, is this really a good time to be on your phone?
00:28:39I'm researching.
00:28:41Okay, so your people?
00:28:43Let's just say they know things
00:28:46before the general public is allowed to.
00:28:49Whenever there's chatter about something,
00:28:51they hear it.
00:28:53A major impact event releases the energy
00:28:55of several million nuclear weapons
00:28:57detonating simultaneously
00:28:59when an asteroid only a few kilometers in diameter
00:29:01collides with Earth.
00:29:03That's only if it doesn't burn up in the atmosphere first, right?
00:29:05Yeah, but...
00:29:07You have the Tunguska event in 1908
00:29:09where a meteoroid disintegrated in the atmosphere
00:29:11and the airburst flattened 80 million trees
00:29:14over 800 square miles
00:29:16and killed three people.
00:29:18I mean, I do feel bad for the trees,
00:29:20but three people? That's really not that bad.
00:29:22Only because it detonated over a forest
00:29:24and not a major city.
00:29:26800 square miles?
00:29:28That's the size of Rhode Island,
00:29:30which would mean a million people dead, not three.
00:29:32Good thing we're not in Rhode Island.
00:29:34Are you even listening to me?
00:29:36Wait a second. Stop.
00:29:39Spooks.
00:29:41What the hell?
00:29:43They're watching you.
00:29:45Probably want to see what you do next.
00:29:49Whistle.
00:29:53Bullseye.
00:29:58We have to get out of here.
00:30:03Where have you been?
00:30:05I'm trying to call you.
00:30:07This is Wilson, uh, Lynn, Zoe.
00:30:09Ma'am?
00:30:12Um, well, it was nice meeting you.
00:30:14We need to have a family meeting, so...
00:30:17Talk to you later.
00:30:22On the count of three, stay or go.
00:30:24Wait, what are we doing?
00:30:26We're gonna have a vote.
00:30:28On the count of three, stay or go. Ready?
00:30:30One, two, three.
00:30:32Go!
00:30:34Dad, we have to leave.
00:30:36And we had a vote.
00:30:38Look, we are staying.
00:30:40I'm not running anymore.
00:30:42Okay, I ran to the city when Mom died,
00:30:45ran back here when Dad died,
00:30:47and I'm not running anymore.
00:30:49I'm standing my ground on this one.
00:30:51Great speech. I'm sure the asteroid will be very moved.
00:30:53Spence, are you serious?
00:30:55Yes, I'm serious.
00:30:57Look, you're my family, and I'm going to protect you.
00:30:59Okay, we have 48 hours, at least.
00:31:01This thing can hit on the other side of town,
00:31:03for all we know, and it's a small asteroid.
00:31:05Okay.
00:31:07You get one night.
00:31:09And then if it gets too close, we're leaving.
00:31:11Deal?
00:31:13Deal.
00:31:15Okay, so if we're staying,
00:31:17we're gonna need some supplies, right?
00:31:19Even if this asteroid avoids us completely,
00:31:21there's gonna be dust and all kinds of things kicked up.
00:31:23We need to seal the windows or something,
00:31:26get some plastic sheeting and duct tape.
00:31:28Yeah, duct tape.
00:31:30That's gonna keep an asteroid out.
00:31:32Okay, I'll go get them.
00:31:34We'll go get them.
00:31:36We're a family, right?
00:31:38Zoe and I just need to get some things together first.
00:31:41Yeah.
00:31:45Okay, meet me in the SUV.
00:31:47Okay.
00:31:51We're staying?
00:31:53For now.
00:31:58People are evacuating currently in droves.
00:32:01Where they're headed, I don't think they care.
00:32:04They're just trying to get out as fast as they can.
00:32:09This is crazy.
00:32:11This is not good.
00:32:13Hold on, folks. Breaking news.
00:32:15The White House has announced
00:32:17that the president is considering an executive order
00:32:20to remove Oneonta from the United States.
00:32:23What?
00:32:25What?
00:32:27Oh, my God.
00:32:29I'm so sorry.
00:32:31Are you okay?
00:32:33I'm so distracted by, uh, well, this.
00:32:36I'm fine. I was, too.
00:32:38Oh.
00:32:40Mayor Kim Mueller.
00:32:42Hi. Hi.
00:32:44Dad, you almost killed the mayor.
00:32:46No, I'm fine.
00:32:48No, she's fine.
00:32:50Spencer Coleman.
00:32:52Oh, you're the Colemans.
00:32:54Just moved into the house on Harekill, right?
00:32:56Yeah. How does everybody know that?
00:32:58Small town.
00:33:00So are you staying or going?
00:33:02Most people seem to have hit the road already.
00:33:04Uh, we're staying.
00:33:06For now. Great.
00:33:08What are we heading into town for?
00:33:10Oh, we're headed over to the hardware store.
00:33:12Just gonna grab some supplies.
00:33:14Oh, you're going to Kenny's?
00:33:16Hey, while you're there, could you make an announcement?
00:33:18I'm holding a town hall meeting tonight.
00:33:20Town hall meeting tonight. Got it. Sure.
00:33:22Perfect. If we're gonna get through this,
00:33:24we need to stick together and keep this town safe
00:33:26until we can't anymore.
00:33:28All right. Thank you, Colemans.
00:33:30And tell Kenny I said hi.
00:33:33Nice to meet you.
00:33:35Yeah.
00:33:37She's nice.
00:33:39Yeah.
00:33:45In and out.
00:33:47Uh, guys?
00:33:49Oh, no.
00:33:51Should we come back later?
00:33:53We got this.
00:33:59Police are telling us to warn all of you
00:34:01just stay in your homes.
00:34:03It's the safest place right now.
00:34:05Okay, just grab everything we need
00:34:07and then meet me up.
00:34:09Vince!
00:34:11Hey, Kenny, Kenny, hey.
00:34:13Hey, buddy, there's a line.
00:34:15Mayor asked me to have you make an announcement.
00:34:17Oh, Kim? Yeah, anything for her. What's up?
00:34:19Okay, town hall meeting tonight.
00:34:21Anyone left in town should be there.
00:34:23Got it.
00:34:25Oh, we got, like, uh, 30 bucks for this stuff,
00:34:27so just keep it.
00:34:29Are you gonna introduce us?
00:34:31Oh, uh, this is my wife, Lynn,
00:34:33my daughter, Zoe. Pleasure to meet you both.
00:34:35Lovely store you've got here.
00:34:37Thank you, thank you. Great, okay, see you later.
00:34:39Copy that.
00:34:41Attention, shoppers.
00:34:43There's an announcement.
00:34:45Nope.
00:34:47Zoe, is that...?
00:34:49Yeah. Are you...?
00:34:51No!
00:34:53Everyone, settle down.
00:34:55Settle down.
00:34:57Thank you all for coming here at such short notice.
00:34:59As you are all undoubtedly aware,
00:35:01a large amount of people have already evacuated.
00:35:03But you're here,
00:35:05you're here,
00:35:07you're here,
00:35:09you're here,
00:35:11you're here,
00:35:13but you're here,
00:35:15and I'm here with you.
00:35:17I would like to figure out what's kept some of you behind.
00:35:19Um...
00:35:21Yes, how about you?
00:35:23Who, me? Sick grandma.
00:35:25Yeah, I just figured the government would step in
00:35:27and, like, send a rocket up into space
00:35:29and blow up the asteroid.
00:35:31Well, you might have heard that there is a possibility
00:35:33that we will be removed from the United States,
00:35:35so we are on our own.
00:35:37So I guess we're on our own-e-onta?
00:35:39What's the plan, Mayor?
00:35:41Well, I have a now plan and a later plan.
00:35:43The now plan is that
00:35:45we look out for each other.
00:35:47We're a small town,
00:35:49but there's bound to be people
00:35:51taking advantage of the situation.
00:35:53Specifically,
00:35:55empty houses filled with valuables.
00:35:57Now, if you haven't already,
00:35:59you may want to consider boarding up your windows.
00:36:01I saw some folks doing that on the way over.
00:36:03What's the point of boarding up houses
00:36:05when they're gonna be destroyed anyhow?
00:36:07Well, that takes me to the later plan.
00:36:09I recommend gathering up
00:36:11anything valuable, irreplaceable,
00:36:13and storing it outside of town.
00:36:15As the asteroid approaches,
00:36:17it has been determined that the safest place for us
00:36:19is secret caverns.
00:36:21It is far enough and deep enough.
00:36:23And we have a bus that could help get this done faster.
00:36:25All right, I will open up the floor
00:36:27to any questions.
00:36:31This is madness.
00:36:33Yes, yep.
00:36:35How do we know the asteroid's even real?
00:36:37I have it on good authority that this is real.
00:36:39Okay, over there.
00:36:41The government really abandoned us at this time.
00:36:43Back.
00:36:45Where are you going?
00:36:47Yes, they can, and they have.
00:36:49You hear all that?
00:36:51I heard a lot of yapping
00:36:53without much thinking.
00:36:55You got something better?
00:37:01Hey, man, sorry I'm late.
00:37:03The place was jam-packed,
00:37:05and I had to count all the...
00:37:07money.
00:37:09Wilson.
00:37:11Minnie Munson.
00:37:13Wilson's got a plan.
00:37:15Oh, yeah?
00:37:17Something like your last plan?
00:37:19Listen, man, if your plan A involves him,
00:37:21I'll start working on plan B.
00:37:25Well, I'll plan C
00:37:27later.
00:37:29Okay.
00:37:31Talk to me.
00:37:33I'm expecting a communication
00:37:35at my secure facility in the next hour.
00:37:39You should be there.
00:37:41Okay, meet me outside.
00:37:49What's going on?
00:37:53Wilson's got a plan.
00:37:55The crazy neighbor?
00:37:57We really don't have many options.
00:37:59Leave.
00:38:01Zoe.
00:38:03Look, you gave me until tomorrow.
00:38:05And I know this is gonna sound weird,
00:38:07but we're supposed to get
00:38:09some kind of message tonight.
00:38:11Okay, there's something going on, and I have to get to the bottom of it.
00:38:13I don't like it, Spence.
00:38:15We're already running out of time.
00:38:19Tomorrow, okay? I promise.
00:38:21Okay, fine.
00:38:23See you back at the house.
00:38:29Okay.
00:38:35Let's see this secure facility.
00:38:47So this is it, huh?
00:38:49What?
00:38:51This isn't secure
00:38:53enough for you?
00:38:55Is that a serious question?
00:38:59Why so tense,
00:39:01Spence?
00:39:03How do you know we can trust
00:39:05these people, Wilson?
00:39:07Any minute now.
00:39:13Bingo.
00:39:25A gravity device?
00:39:27That's what it says.
00:39:39I'd like to end with coverage
00:39:41on the asteroid story.
00:39:43We've had people from Oneonta
00:39:45in a mass exodus
00:39:47from the city of Oneonta
00:39:49to escape the asteroid
00:39:51and the aftermath, evacuating
00:39:53now apparently to secret caverns
00:39:55just outside of Cobleskill,
00:39:57a safe haven away
00:39:59from all of the dust
00:40:01and destruction.
00:40:07Okay, we are asteroid-proof.
00:40:11Did you gain any
00:40:13game-changing information from that
00:40:15top-secret message?
00:40:19No, I have a meeting tonight.
00:40:21Guys!
00:40:25The exact coordinates
00:40:27of the asteroid impact.
00:40:2942.495821
00:40:31and negative
00:40:3375.076065.
00:40:35Wait, what was that
00:40:37second one?
00:40:39Again, that is
00:40:4142.495821
00:40:43and negative
00:40:4575.076065.
00:40:47Come on!
00:40:49Piece of shit!
00:40:51Zoe, language!
00:40:53It's the house.
00:40:55What?
00:40:57The coordinates put the exact
00:40:59impact point at
00:41:01113 Herrick Hill Road,
00:41:03Oneonta, New York.
00:41:05Our thoughts and prayers
00:41:07are with you.
00:41:09Spence?
00:41:11How?
00:41:13I guess the crazy neighbor
00:41:15ain't so crazy after all.
00:41:17You knew this entire time?
00:41:19No.
00:41:21No, I mean, Wilson,
00:41:23he told me, but I didn't believe him.
00:41:25Why didn't you say anything?
00:41:27Because I thought he was crazy.
00:41:29I didn't know there was something to tell you.
00:41:31We're leaving now.
00:41:33No, this doesn't make any sense.
00:41:35Dad, the only thing that makes sense
00:41:37is that we leave.
00:41:39There's something else going on here.
00:41:41Wilson, how did he know that it was going to be this place?
00:41:43Specifically, how did he know that it was
00:41:45this house?
00:41:47He's a psycho!
00:41:49He comes right twice a day.
00:41:51I'm packing a bag!
00:41:53Make that two.
00:41:55Spencer?
00:41:57Spencer, look at me!
00:41:59We have to go.
00:42:01Now.
00:42:03I can't.
00:42:05I have a meeting.
00:42:07You keep talking about this meeting.
00:42:09What is going on?
00:42:11What?
00:42:13Tell me, what?
00:42:15It's a gravity...
00:42:17device.
00:42:21Please repeat that.
00:42:25A gravity device.
00:42:27Mom, we're leaving!
00:42:31No, no!
00:42:35Zoey!
00:42:37Lynn, would you please...
00:42:39Spencer, I told you, if this thing gets too close
00:42:41and you don't have a solution, we're leaving.
00:42:43Do you have a solution?
00:42:45Yes!
00:42:47No, you don't!
00:42:49Mom, come on!
00:42:51Spencer!
00:42:53I love you.
00:42:55But I have to do what's right here.
00:42:57I'm taking our daughter, and I'm leaving.
00:42:59Please stay.
00:43:01I spoke with our brokers in the city.
00:43:03The buyers haven't closed on our place,
00:43:05so that's where you can find us.
00:43:07Dad, you know you're wrong.
00:43:09He's safe.
00:43:11He's safe.
00:43:13Hi, Matt. I'll call you as soon as...
00:43:15Hey, Kenny!
00:43:17Ask him about his plan!
00:43:21Where'd I go?
00:43:23What's the plan, Spence?
00:43:27Gravity device.
00:43:29What?
00:43:31No wonder they're leaving!
00:43:33Are you still stepping into Wilson's bullshit?
00:43:35Look, I know this sounds absurd, okay,
00:43:37but Wilson knew that the asteroid was gonna hit Oneonta,
00:43:39and specifically he knew it was gonna hit my house.
00:43:41Spence, how could he possibly have known that?
00:43:43I don't know!
00:43:45But, look, whatever beef you have with him,
00:43:47can you just please put it aside
00:43:49until we can figure out what the hell's going on?
00:43:51Oh, no, no. Hell no. Fat chance.
00:43:53Uh-uh.
00:43:55Now what?
00:43:57No! Stop!
00:43:59Do not... Do not come up my driveway!
00:44:01Stop right there!
00:44:03Hey, you Stuart Coleman?
00:44:05Who's asking?
00:44:07I'm just here to report the news.
00:44:09Don't shoot the messenger.
00:44:11Vulture.
00:44:15Shit, there's no signal.
00:44:19Satellite...
00:44:21Hey, uh,
00:44:23seemed to be having a little trouble with our satellite.
00:44:25Would you mind if maybe we borrow some Internet off of you?
00:44:27No! No Internet!
00:44:29Really? Not even a little?
00:44:31No!
00:44:33$30,000 if you want to run a line to my house, go for it!
00:44:39Dumb.
00:44:43Can't wait till this place goes up in smoke.
00:44:49Sorry about your house.
00:45:01Hey.
00:45:03Hey.
00:45:05Ooh.
00:45:07Who do you work for?
00:45:09We don't work for anyone you need to know about Mr. Coleman.
00:45:11Knock it off.
00:45:13Okay, so you creeps know my name.
00:45:15How about you return the favor?
00:45:17Fair enough. I'm Agent Thompson. This is Agent Thompson.
00:45:19Thompson with a P.
00:45:21That's cute.
00:45:23It's come to our attention that you have plans tonight
00:45:25to meet with a rogue organization
00:45:27in order to gain possession of equipment.
00:45:29Equipment that doesn't even belong to them,
00:45:31let alone you.
00:45:33Knock it off.
00:45:35Okay. And?
00:45:37Just be very careful how you proceed.
00:45:39You're toying with powers a lot bigger than yourself.
00:45:41Great. Noted.
00:45:43Now I have bigger things to deal with, so please get off my prop!
00:45:47Property.
00:45:51A little too close.
00:45:53That's right. The line's actually...
00:45:55No, it's there.
00:45:57If you ask me, it's...
00:45:59Have a nice day, gentlemen.
00:46:03Let's get out of here.
00:46:15Dude, you have had one hell of a morning.
00:46:19Listen, Spencer, I think it's...
00:46:21I think it's time to cut your losses, man.
00:46:23What's left to lose?
00:46:25My family already left me,
00:46:27we got reporters showing up,
00:46:29agents walking through my bushes,
00:46:31and an asteroid is about to hit my house.
00:46:37Why don't you just tell me what's up with you and Wilson?
00:46:41No, no, it's not important right now.
00:46:43No, I saw how you were staring at him at the bar.
00:46:45Spill it.
00:46:47All right, all right, listen.
00:46:51He sold my dad a majority stake in a mining company.
00:46:55Put his entire life savings in,
00:46:57so he can have exclusive rights to this new mineral
00:46:59or something that's buried underneath Oneonta.
00:47:03Only problem is, there's all these houses in the way.
00:47:07And I don't know what to do.
00:47:09I don't know what to do.
00:47:11I don't know what to do.
00:47:13I don't know what to do.
00:47:15Only problem is, there's all these houses in the way.
00:47:19So when outside of town,
00:47:21there's a warehouse full of mining equipment
00:47:23that can't mine.
00:47:27Yeah, I guess I could understand why you're pretty pissed off.
00:47:31Does that mean you're not coming to the meeting tonight?
00:47:35What, the top secret gravity device meeting?
00:47:39Look, man, I know it sounds absurd,
00:47:41but I can really use you there.
00:47:45All right, listen.
00:47:47I'll be there, okay?
00:47:49But only to watch Wilson fail.
00:47:51All right?
00:47:53And to watch your back, because that's what friends do.
00:47:57Yeah, I guess we are friends, aren't we?
00:47:59Were we not?
00:48:15I don't understand why we all had to cram into your van to come here.
00:48:19The fewer vehicles, the better.
00:48:21Makes for a quick getaway.
00:48:25You expecting the need for a quick getaway?
00:48:27Is there a different kind of getaway?
00:48:31I know I'm going to regret asking this, but...
00:48:35Wilson, why am I sitting on a damn toilet?
00:48:39Clearly, you have never been on a stakeout.
00:48:41You saying this thing works?
00:48:43Give it a try.
00:48:49Oh, they're here.
00:48:55I'll be back.
00:48:57Don't play with anything.
00:48:59I gave you something to play with.
00:49:11What are they saying?
00:49:13I don't know.
00:49:15Probably something stupid.
00:49:19I'm starving.
00:49:21Is there anything to eat in here?
00:49:29Hey.
00:49:33Good thing I'm not a diabetic, huh?
00:49:35Want some?
00:49:37Want this?
00:49:55What's wrong with you?
00:49:57Where's the device?
00:49:59Oh, they don't have it.
00:50:01I'm sorry, what?
00:50:03Hey man, I told you.
00:50:05What are we doing here, then?
00:50:07They said we already have it.
00:50:09Somewhere here in Oneonta.
00:50:11Probably on your property.
00:50:13No, no, that doesn't make any sense.
00:50:15How could it possibly be in Oneonta on my property?
00:50:17I am just saying what they told...
00:50:21Don't tell me you ate those.
00:50:23What?
00:50:25How many?
00:50:27Why?
00:50:29That's my concept.
00:50:31Why?
00:50:33That's my concert stash.
00:50:37Like in your munchies stash?
00:50:39No.
00:50:41Like when I want my own
00:50:43private light show stash.
00:50:45Each one of those
00:50:47has a drop
00:50:49of white fluff.
00:50:51LSD.
00:50:53Acid.
00:50:55Wilson, stop playing me.
00:50:57That's not funny.
00:50:59Those things aren't cheap.
00:51:01Let me get this straight, man.
00:51:03So if me and Spence each had ten Sour Patch Kids,
00:51:05you're saying that's ten hits of acid?
00:51:07Yes, sir.
00:51:09And at market rates, you each owe me a hundred bucks.
00:51:11Oh yeah, I bet.
00:51:13How about you just take it out of what you owe my dad?
00:51:15You might want to check that range.
00:51:17You're in for a bad night.
00:51:23How about that quick getaway?
00:51:25Go, Wilson.
00:51:27Go, Wilson.
00:51:29All right, everyone out of the van.
00:51:41You ever think about putting some seatbelts on this damn thing?
00:51:43In what scenario
00:51:45do you see me driving this van
00:51:47while sitting on a toilet?
00:51:51Spence?
00:51:53Are you feeling something?
00:51:55It's kicking in so fast.
00:51:57Probably from all the adrenaline
00:51:59coursing through your veins.
00:52:01Oh, my God!
00:52:03Oh, Lord!
00:52:05Can't help you now!
00:52:11Okay, this isn't happening, man.
00:52:13This is really happening.
00:52:19Aftermath!
00:52:21Aftermath!
00:52:31Do you have a solution?
00:52:33Do you have a solution?
00:52:35No, you don't.
00:52:37Please repeat that.
00:52:43I just wanted to go away!
00:52:51No!
00:52:55How did you do that?
00:52:57I don't remember things being that strong.
00:53:17Hey, so...
00:53:19So where's this stupid asteroid anyway?
00:53:23You think he'd be
00:53:25lighting up the sky by now?
00:53:27Oh, you don't see an asteroid
00:53:29until it's too late.
00:53:33You're thinking about
00:53:35comets.
00:53:37What about
00:53:39shooting stars?
00:53:41Those are
00:53:43technically
00:53:45meteors.
00:53:47Unless
00:53:49they survive the atmosphere,
00:53:51then they're meteorites.
00:53:53How do you
00:53:55have all this memorized?
00:53:57How do you not?
00:53:59I don't know.
00:54:01I guess I
00:54:03must have
00:54:05fell asleep during a meteor class.
00:54:07It's the
00:54:09universe.
00:54:11The one thing
00:54:13everybody
00:54:15should understand.
00:54:17And I think
00:54:19I avoid it because
00:54:21it makes me feel uncomfortable.
00:54:23Space makes you feel uncomfortable,
00:54:25Kenny?
00:54:27No, no, no.
00:54:29Realizing how small
00:54:31I am,
00:54:33that makes me uncomfortable.
00:54:35You shouldn't feel uncomfortable
00:54:37just because you're short.
00:54:39Shut up, DK.
00:54:41I mean, think about it, guys.
00:54:43Meteors, they're somewhere out there
00:54:45in space.
00:54:47You know, far away.
00:54:49It's this big-ass
00:54:51piece of rock
00:54:55that we can't even see.
00:54:59It's a short period of time away
00:55:01from potentially
00:55:03killing us all.
00:55:05I mean, if that
00:55:07doesn't
00:55:09tell you how fragile
00:55:11everything is,
00:55:13I don't know what does.
00:55:15I would find that
00:55:17liberating.
00:55:19But who's gonna remember me?
00:55:21You know?
00:55:23You're being pretty hard on yourself there,
00:55:25Kenny.
00:55:27Am I?
00:55:29I don't have any kids.
00:55:31I don't have a family.
00:55:35I just got a hardware
00:55:37store, and that's...
00:55:41that's not much of a legacy.
00:55:43If it makes you feel any better,
00:55:47in the end,
00:55:49nothing anybody does
00:55:51matters.
00:55:53We're all just
00:55:55killing time
00:55:57until the sun
00:55:59eats us.
00:56:05Well, gentlemen,
00:56:07I'm
00:56:09going to preambulate
00:56:11back to my domicile,
00:56:13slap on some Floyd,
00:56:15and pack
00:56:17the rest of my necessities.
00:56:21Oh,
00:56:23and Kenny,
00:56:27good job tonight.
00:56:29Whatever you did.
00:56:37Bullseye.
00:56:39Shut up, man. I'm still mad at you.
00:56:41I know.
00:56:45Job done, big nose.
00:56:47I think I might
00:56:49go ahead and head on to
00:56:51home myself.
00:56:53Yeah, head home.
00:56:55Couple miles back to town.
00:56:57I'll be all right.
00:56:59Figure I could use
00:57:01the walk.
00:57:03Uh-huh.
00:57:07Watch out for that.
00:57:19Oh, feels so good.
00:57:29Oh.
00:57:33What happened?
00:57:37Pfft.
00:58:01Oh, hey, Mr. Coleman.
00:58:03Hey, it's, um,
00:58:05Milton, right?
00:58:07That's right. Great news.
00:58:09What great news can you possibly have for me?
00:58:11Well, the news pitched in the 30K
00:58:13to run a line to your house.
00:58:15Isn't that great?
00:58:17It's great, but I'm not going to need
00:58:19internet anymore, Milton.
00:58:21Oh, it's not for you.
00:58:23It's so they could broadcast the destruction
00:58:25of your house.
00:58:27How would they do that?
00:58:29They said the advertising revenue alone makes it worth it.
00:58:31Oh, hey, did you hear?
00:58:35Not again.
00:58:43Hi, Mr. Coleman.
00:58:45Guess we're living in our own country now, huh?
00:58:47Maybe you could run for president
00:58:49when this is all over.
00:58:51What the hell are you talking about?
00:58:53It's too bad about your house,
00:58:55but we'd really like to get an interview
00:58:57if you don't mind.
00:58:59All right.
00:59:01If I don't mind.
00:59:03If I don't mind.
00:59:05You know what?
00:59:07Oh, my God. Mom! Mom!
00:59:09What?
00:59:11We are live with Spencer Coleman,
00:59:13whose house is due to be vaporized by an asteroid.
00:59:15Mr. Coleman, how are you feeling?
00:59:17How the fuck do you think I'm feeling?
00:59:19Next question!
00:59:21I didn't think he'd actually stay.
00:59:23I thought it was a bluff.
00:59:25You may have been bluffing a little bit, too.
00:59:27You know what the funny part is?
00:59:29None of this matters.
00:59:31Everything that we're doing, it doesn't matter,
00:59:33and nobody is gonna remember you or you,
00:59:35and nobody is gonna remember me.
00:59:37No, everything we're doing
00:59:39is pointless.
00:59:41We're just killing time
00:59:43until the sun eats us.
00:59:45We got the shot. Let's go. Let's go.
00:59:47Get off. Off my property.
00:59:49Oh, I can see it now.
00:59:51Crazy man yells at news crew.
00:59:55We have to get him out of there.
00:59:57Yeah.
00:59:59Let's go. Come on.
01:00:03Get off.
01:00:13Here, Mr. Coleman.
01:00:15The first month is free,
01:00:17although I suppose your first month will be your only mon...
01:00:19Sorry.
01:00:21Thank you, Milton.
01:00:23Now, can you please get off my...
01:00:25Get off your property. On it.
01:00:27Meeting you.
01:00:29Bye.
01:00:35Sorry about your house.
01:00:47Jesus.
01:00:49What?
01:00:51Dad's gone viral.
01:00:53Is that good?
01:00:55For everyone except the person going viral.
01:01:05Spence. Hey. Hey, man.
01:01:07You okay?
01:01:09Top of the world, Kenny.
01:01:11Couldn't be better.
01:01:13Why do you ask?
01:01:17You're, uh...
01:01:19You're kind of famous.
01:01:21Yeah.
01:01:23What even happened last night?
01:01:27How did we get out of the...
01:01:29There was a car chase and...
01:01:31You haven't heard, have you?
01:01:35It's official.
01:01:37Oneyana has been removed from the United States.
01:01:39Yeah.
01:01:41We have a president that would rather ignore
01:01:43the whole situation than deal with it.
01:01:45So, as a result,
01:01:47we're our own country now.
01:01:49Yeah.
01:01:51I guess the spooks were out of their jurisdiction
01:01:53and had to turn back.
01:01:55Meanwhile,
01:01:57Kim's evacuating everyone that's left in town
01:01:59to the caverns.
01:02:01So, will I see you there?
01:02:07Look.
01:02:09Spence, man.
01:02:11I think you put up a good fight
01:02:13and did everything you can.
01:02:15Even including trusting your crazy neighbor
01:02:17on a slight chance that he was right.
01:02:19But, dude, he was wrong.
01:02:23You have a family, man,
01:02:25and that's way more important than a house full of stuff.
01:02:27He figures.
01:02:29We move everything up here just to have it destroyed, you know?
01:02:31You ever seen a hearse
01:02:33with a trailer hitch attached to it?
01:02:35It's just stuff, man.
01:02:37And as for the house,
01:02:39you know, it's nowhere near as important
01:02:41as the people inside of it.
01:02:43Hey.
01:02:45I'll see you at the caverns?
01:02:49Yeah.
01:02:51I just have to say goodbye first.
01:02:55And I don't know what to take from the house.
01:02:57How about you just
01:02:59grab one thing that's irreplaceable?
01:03:01Irreplaceable.
01:03:09Want some Internet?
01:03:15I need WiFi.
01:03:17I'll be there.
01:03:45With the asteroid impact imminent,
01:03:47we will be off the air
01:03:49until further notice.
01:03:51Be safe, everyone.
01:03:53This is Leslie Ann signing off.
01:03:55Signing off.
01:03:57Signing off.
01:03:59Signing off.
01:04:01Signing off.
01:04:15Signing off.
01:04:29Dad?
01:04:31You came back.
01:04:33We did.
01:04:39I take it you saw...
01:04:41Yeah, we did.
01:04:43I'm gonna go, Spencer.
01:04:57It's gonna be okay.
01:05:13Okay.
01:05:35Come on, everybody.
01:05:37File inside in an orderly manner, please.
01:05:39Come on.
01:05:43Here we go.
01:05:45All right.
01:05:47Good.
01:06:09Okay.
01:06:27Are you sure we're gonna be safe down here?
01:06:29Seems like people are getting a little restless.
01:06:31You wanna give a tour or something?
01:06:33Okay, sure.
01:06:35I'm getting pretty restless myself, so...
01:06:37Two secret caverns.
01:06:39100 feet below the surface.
01:06:41Now, if you'll follow me down the petrified escalator.
01:06:45Hey, is there any Wi-Fi I can hop on down here?
01:06:47Hey!
01:06:49Chad, right?
01:06:51Mrs. Coleman!
01:06:53Hey, did you guys ever get on the Internet?
01:06:55We did, yeah.
01:06:57Just in time for an asteroid to hit our house.
01:06:59Figures, right?
01:07:01Classic.
01:07:03Hey, did you see that crazy man on the news today?
01:07:05Spencer!
01:07:07Holy shit, it's you!
01:07:09Hey, can I get a selfie?
01:07:11You're famous, Chad.
01:07:13Or, like, even a video would be awesome.
01:07:15Is that okay?
01:07:17Yeah, sure, whatever.
01:07:19We're just killing time
01:07:21until the sun eats us all!
01:07:25I feel like I'm married to a celebrity.
01:07:27Thanks, man.
01:07:29This is gonna get so many likes.
01:07:31It's weird that you guys don't have service up there, though,
01:07:33but you were real recently.
01:07:35This is awesome. I'm gonna go post this.
01:07:37Thank you so much, man.
01:07:43Is that what you need?
01:07:45Come on, stop.
01:07:47Yeah, I'm just gonna hang back and wait for Chad.
01:07:49The caverns began forming approximately
01:07:51six million years ago,
01:07:53long before the woolly mammoth,
01:07:55but long after the dinosaurs.
01:07:57The caverns were discovered in 1928
01:07:59when two bovine explorers fell through the ground.
01:08:01Bovine explorers?
01:08:03Cows.
01:08:05Apart from the stalactites
01:08:07and the stalagmites...
01:08:09What's on your mind, Spence?
01:08:11How's there no cell service
01:08:13when they just built a brand-new tower?
01:08:15Maybe it's not activated yet.
01:08:17Maybe.
01:08:19The caverns' mining rough
01:08:21will reveal garnets, rose quartz,
01:08:23fool's gold, emeralds,
01:08:25aquamarines, and more.
01:08:27Well, maybe...
01:08:29Maybe I am just a crazy old man,
01:08:31and it's a downward spiral from here.
01:08:33I'll be standing on the corner of my bathrobe,
01:08:35flashing all the ladies in my mind.
01:08:37Okay.
01:08:39I like your bathrobe, though.
01:08:41I'm changing my last name.
01:08:43In fact, if some of you remember,
01:08:45a few decades ago,
01:08:47a group of geologists discovered
01:08:49a vast deposit of rare minerals
01:08:51underneath Oneonta.
01:08:53The potential dollar value was so high
01:08:55that it could not be calculated.
01:08:57Why didn't they just dig for it?
01:08:59I'm sure they would have loved to.
01:09:01The only problem is there's all these houses in the way.
01:09:03What was that?
01:09:05You can't dig for precious metals
01:09:07if everyone's living on top of it.
01:09:13I gotta go.
01:09:15What? Where?
01:09:17I just have to make sure I'm not crazy.
01:09:19You are. Absolutely.
01:09:21Spencer, we came all the way back here
01:09:23to make sure you were safe,
01:09:25and now you're just gonna leave us again?
01:09:27Just stay here, okay? I'll be fast.
01:09:29I have to... I think I can save the house.
01:09:31Just wait for me.
01:09:33Right here.
01:09:35You go after him.
01:09:37Dad!
01:09:41Okay.
01:09:43Do you have bolt cutters?
01:09:45Uh, yeah.
01:09:47Meet me in the truck.
01:09:49Oh, we're leaving right now?
01:09:52Zoe, what are you doing?
01:09:54You don't have time.
01:09:56Zoe, you have to trust me on this.
01:09:58It's gonna eat away at me forever if I don't try.
01:10:00You know what really eats away at someone?
01:10:02An asteroid.
01:10:04I'll be back.
01:10:06I promise.
01:10:08Ever since we got here,
01:10:10it's like all you care about is this house.
01:10:12It's like Mom and I don't even exist.
01:10:14It's kind of turned you into an asshole.
01:10:18Zoe...
01:10:22...
01:10:28I love you.
01:10:30Hey, bolt cutter delivery.
01:10:32But why?
01:10:34Let's go.
01:10:48Where are you two scurrying off to?
01:10:51All right.
01:10:59Man, so many lights.
01:11:03Great.
01:11:05Battery's almost dead.
01:11:07You get the Pro or the Pro Max?
01:11:09The Pro. Why?
01:11:11The Pro sucks.
01:11:13What? You suck.
01:11:15Max is 3% more battery life.
01:11:17Wow, a whole 3%?
01:11:20Huh.
01:11:22Thanks for watching.
01:11:24Where are we going, Smith?
01:11:26Cell phone tower.
01:11:28Care to elaborate?
01:11:30Because this isn't normal.
01:11:32None of this is normal my entire life.
01:11:34It hasn't been normal since I moved here.
01:11:36And the only thing I can think to fix this crazy problem
01:11:38is this crazy solution.
01:11:40Cell phone tower.
01:11:42Why am I not hearing any of this?
01:11:44Oh, I'll be damned.
01:11:46The person who knows everything doesn't know what's going on right now.
01:11:48Maybe it's because your ears
01:11:50are a lot closer to the ground than mine are.
01:11:52Whatever.
01:11:54Look, as long as we're back in time, okay?
01:11:56You know, uh, asteroids?
01:11:58We'll make it.
01:12:00This is News Channel One reporting from the U.S. Oneonta border.
01:12:03We are only a short time away from impact.
01:12:05As you can see behind me,
01:12:07people are still scrambling to evacuate.
01:12:09We'll be setting up our remote cameras
01:12:11and then moving off to a safe distance,
01:12:13and we'll talk to you soon.
01:12:15You sure you set this up with enough headroom, right?
01:12:17I mean, you realize we're talking an asteroid?
01:12:19Boom!
01:12:21Big mushroom cloud.
01:12:23Hey, wasn't that...
01:12:25Hey.
01:12:27I saw your family pass a few minutes ago.
01:12:29Oh, no, I don't have a family.
01:12:31No, I just have two people
01:12:33who do whatever the hell they want,
01:12:35and we just happen to live in the same house.
01:12:37Well, we did live in the same house
01:12:39until it was too, you know, get blown up by an asteroid.
01:12:41It's okay, Lynn. It's okay.
01:12:43No, it's not. It's not okay.
01:12:45I have completely lost control.
01:12:47I have completely lost control.
01:12:49I have just been trying to optimism my way through this whole thing,
01:12:51and it has finally caught up to me.
01:12:53Mayor, I just...
01:12:55I just wanted a garden.
01:12:57Um...
01:12:59Are you...
01:13:01Are you okay?
01:13:03You seem like you might be a little claustrophobic.
01:13:05No.
01:13:07I'm definitely claustrophobic.
01:13:09All right.
01:13:11Now what?
01:13:13I have no idea.
01:13:15Just looks like it doesn't belong.
01:13:17I don't know.
01:13:19It looks like it belongs to me.
01:13:21Technically speaking,
01:13:23something that doesn't belong
01:13:25would want to look like it does belong.
01:13:27Okay, well, how about you guys stop saying the word
01:13:29belong and help me out here?
01:13:31No service.
01:13:33Yeah, I got nothing, either.
01:13:35Wilson?
01:13:37I don't carry one of those things around.
01:13:39Are you nuts?
01:13:41So we got a brand-new cell tower,
01:13:43no cell service,
01:13:45and a gigantic mineral deposit
01:13:47underneath Oneonta.
01:13:49Oh, and an asteroid coming.
01:13:51Soon.
01:13:53Asteroid coming soon.
01:13:55What's the missing piece here?
01:13:57I don't know.
01:13:59I don't know.
01:14:01What's the missing piece here?
01:14:03Well, did they give you a timeline
01:14:05of how long we would be down here?
01:14:07No.
01:14:09No.
01:14:11I'm kind of winging it at this point,
01:14:13if I'm being honest.
01:14:15I'm sorry.
01:14:17Pressure of a family is a lot,
01:14:19but I can't imagine the pressure of an entire town,
01:14:21especially in this situation.
01:14:23How are you doing this?
01:14:25I drink a lot of wine.
01:14:27Did you bring any?
01:14:29No.
01:14:31I should have, though.
01:14:35Hey.
01:14:37Maybe they have some upstairs.
01:14:39All right, Wilson.
01:14:41You've had your ear to the ground this whole time.
01:14:43What do you think?
01:14:45All right.
01:14:47Spitballing here.
01:14:49I would imagine
01:14:51that the electronic interference
01:14:53you've been experiencing on your property
01:14:55is the direct byproduct of the mineral deposit
01:14:57you made decades ago in Oneonta.
01:14:59And my readings seem to indicate
01:15:01that your house,
01:15:03if you'll excuse the expression,
01:15:05is ground zero.
01:15:09Somebody somewhere
01:15:11wants to get underneath your land,
01:15:13and they found
01:15:15the perfect cover to do it under.
01:15:17So, damn, so this is the gravity device?
01:15:19Something like that.
01:15:21The asteroid probably shares
01:15:23some property with the mineral,
01:15:25but it's more like a magnet.
01:15:27Well, whatever it is,
01:15:29we've got to get inside
01:15:31and take a closer look at this thing.
01:15:33Kenny?
01:15:35If this thing is the culprit,
01:15:37we should be able to just cut the power,
01:15:39and the asteroid will go off course.
01:15:41Well, whatever it takes.
01:15:43If it means saving the house.
01:15:45Wait, wait, wait.
01:15:47Spence, hold on. Hold on a minute.
01:15:49Are we here to save your house
01:15:51or to save the town?
01:15:55You saved the house.
01:15:57I did?
01:15:59Well, yeah, man, but...
01:16:01what about my house?
01:16:03What about Dickhead's house?
01:16:05What about my store?
01:16:17Shit.
01:16:19Sorry.
01:16:21More importantly,
01:16:23have you thought about what happens
01:16:25if you do kill the power?
01:16:35What is this?
01:16:37Casual Friday?
01:16:39We're off the clock.
01:16:41This is civilian conversation.
01:16:43Oh, I see what you're doing here.
01:16:45It's that, uh, reverse psychology.
01:16:47Just regular psychology, Mr. Coleman.
01:16:49What happens if you do manage
01:16:51to cut off Dickhead's course?
01:16:53I don't know.
01:16:55Maybe it flies past Earth and hits Uranus.
01:16:57You do realize it's a little too late
01:16:59for that, right?
01:17:01All you're gonna do is take out another town
01:17:03or another city that hasn't been preparing for this.
01:17:05You're one stubborn son of a bitch,
01:17:07Mr. Coleman.
01:17:09Seems like no matter how hard they tried
01:17:11to scare you off, you just stayed behind.
01:17:13I mean, everyone was supposed
01:17:15to just leave town, make things easy.
01:17:17Guys, we should probably be going.
01:17:19Wait, what are you implying?
01:17:21You still haven't figured it out, huh?
01:17:23I think you're gonna find that when all is said and done,
01:17:25you'll be in a much better position than you realize.
01:17:27Oh, yeah.
01:17:29Chopper's waiting.
01:17:31Forward to negotiating.
01:17:39She was right.
01:17:41Who?
01:17:43Zoe.
01:17:45I've been an asshole.
01:17:47Yeah, maybe.
01:17:51But maybe this is a situation
01:17:53where everyone's an asshole.
01:17:55Yeah, but at least you're about to be rich assholes.
01:17:59What do you mean by that?
01:18:01The minerals underneath your house.
01:18:03I assume that's why you bought it in the first place.
01:18:05Oh, my God.
01:18:07Oh, my...
01:18:09Guys, the whole reason that the
01:18:11mining company was a bust in the first place
01:18:13was because of all the houses in the way.
01:18:15And now there won't be any houses.
01:18:17And we're in our own country now.
01:18:19Which means the government can't come in
01:18:21and claim eminent domain.
01:18:23And, Kenny,
01:18:25you own the only business with the ability
01:18:27to clean up the mess and get that shit out of the ground
01:18:29once the dust settles.
01:18:31So...
01:18:33you're welcome.
01:18:35Ha!
01:18:37Ha!
01:18:39Ha!
01:18:41Ha!
01:18:43Ha!
01:18:45Um, guys?
01:18:47Guys?
01:18:51Thought you knew where you were going, genius.
01:18:53I do know where we're going.
01:18:55It's just I must have taken a wrong turn
01:18:57somewhere up here. I'm just trying to figure it out
01:18:59on the maps, which, unfortunately,
01:19:01I don't have any service, so give me a second.
01:19:03So you don't know where you're going.
01:19:05I know exactly where we're going. We're going to the caverns.
01:19:07It's a few minutes away.
01:19:09I just took a wrong turn somewhere.
01:19:11Christopher Columbus, at this rate,
01:19:13you're not going to get us anywhere.
01:19:15Hey, is that crazy, Coleman?
01:19:17Come on! We got to stop him!
01:19:19Hey! Stop! Stop!
01:19:21Stop! In the name of the First Amendment!
01:19:23In the name of the First...
01:19:25Come on, get over here.
01:19:27All right.
01:19:29Are you guys insane?
01:19:31There's an asteroid coming!
01:19:33We're just minutes away from impact,
01:19:35and we are here live with Mr. Coleman!
01:19:37Mr. Coleman, you've become quite a celebrity
01:19:39since the last time we saw you.
01:19:41Do you have any comments for us?
01:19:43Yeah. Yeah, I have some comments for you.
01:19:45Yeah.
01:19:49So I guess your
01:19:51job is about to get a whole lot more complicated,
01:19:53huh?
01:19:55Why's that?
01:19:57The whole being removed from the United States thing?
01:19:59What does that even mean?
01:20:01Are we the country of Oneonta now?
01:20:03I'm not sure.
01:20:05It's not like I got a call from the United Nations
01:20:07or anything.
01:20:09We'll just have to figure that out after the dust settles, I guess.
01:20:11What do you call
01:20:13the mayor of a country?
01:20:15Wait, isn't that your husband again?
01:20:17Do you have any
01:20:19comments for us?
01:20:21Yeah. Yeah, I have some comments for you.
01:20:23Yeah.
01:20:27I was wrong.
01:20:31Could you just repeat that?
01:20:33I said
01:20:35I was wrong.
01:20:37Whoa, your dad's in the news again.
01:20:39I moved my family up here
01:20:41for a
01:20:43simple life.
01:20:45And it backfired.
01:20:47They think I'm an absolute
01:20:49lunatic.
01:20:51And they're right.
01:20:53Yeah.
01:20:55Um, Lynn,
01:20:57Joey,
01:20:59I hope you're watching.
01:21:01I love you
01:21:03so much.
01:21:05I'm so,
01:21:07so sorry.
01:21:09I was so focused on
01:21:11the stupid house.
01:21:13I forgot about
01:21:15the people inside of it.
01:21:17So,
01:21:19you know, go ahead
01:21:21and take my house
01:21:23and wipe it off the face of the planet.
01:21:25If it takes an asteroid
01:21:27to destroy
01:21:29everything, to make
01:21:31things right,
01:21:33so be it.
01:21:35Well, I don't know what's gonna happen when this thing hits.
01:21:37Uh,
01:21:39it doesn't matter
01:21:41because I think we're gonna be all right.
01:21:43Because
01:21:45we'll rebuild.
01:21:47We're not gonna rebuild the way things were.
01:21:49We're gonna build something better.
01:21:51Together.
01:21:55If you'll excuse me,
01:21:57I, uh, I have a family to get back to.
01:22:03Oh, uh,
01:22:05sorry about the, uh, shoe
01:22:07in the truck.
01:22:11And there you have it, folks.
01:22:15Let's get the hell out of here.
01:22:17Man, your dad is so cool.
01:22:19Really? You think so?
01:22:21Yeah, I mean, look at him.
01:22:23He's clearly not afraid to say what's on his mind
01:22:25and he looks like he cares a lot
01:22:27about you and your mom.
01:22:29I guess. I don't know.
01:22:31To me, he's just always been Dad.
01:22:35Here's the thing about parents, though.
01:22:37It's like, you get 30, maybe 40 years with them,
01:22:39if you're lucky. You spend the first 10
01:22:41just crawling around, not knowing what's going on.
01:22:43Then the next 10, you hate their guts.
01:22:45Then,
01:22:47I don't know, I think you just spend the rest of the time
01:22:49you have with them just trying to make up for it.
01:22:51So you're gonna let your dad get along?
01:22:53No, my dad's a moron.
01:22:55But we're working on it.
01:22:57Zoe!
01:23:21Zoe!
01:23:24Lynn!
01:23:28You made it back.
01:23:33Nice speech.
01:23:35High five.
01:23:37Don't make it weird, Dad.
01:23:45So, this is it?
01:23:49This is it.
01:23:51I'm sorry. I didn't know we were doing a thing.
01:23:55Let's go inside.
01:24:21I'm sorry.
01:24:51I'm sorry.
01:25:21I'm sorry.
01:25:51I'm sorry.
01:25:53I'm sorry.
01:25:55I'm sorry.
01:25:57I'm sorry.
01:25:59I'm sorry.
01:26:01I'm sorry.
01:26:03I'm sorry.
01:26:05I'm sorry.
01:26:07I'm sorry.
01:26:09I'm sorry.
01:26:11I'm sorry.
01:26:13I'm sorry.
01:26:15I'm sorry.
01:26:17I'm sorry.
01:26:19I'm sorry.
01:26:21I'm sorry.
01:26:23I'm sorry.
01:26:25I'm sorry.
01:26:27I'm sorry.
01:26:29I'm sorry.
01:26:31I'm sorry.
01:26:33I'm sorry.
01:26:35I'm sorry.
01:26:37I'm sorry.
01:26:39I'm sorry.
01:26:41I'm sorry.
01:26:43I'm sorry.
01:26:45I'm sorry.
01:26:47I'm sorry.
01:26:49I'm sorry.
01:26:51I'm sorry.
01:26:53I'm sorry.
01:26:55I'm sorry.
01:26:57I'm sorry.
01:26:59I'm sorry.
01:27:01I'm sorry.
01:27:03I'm sorry.
01:27:05I'm sorry.
01:27:07I'm sorry.
01:27:09I'm sorry.
01:27:11I'm sorry.
01:27:13I'm sorry.
01:27:15I'm sorry.
01:27:17I'm sorry.
01:27:19I'm sorry.
01:27:21I'm sorry.
01:27:23I'm sorry.
01:27:25I'm sorry.
01:27:27I'm sorry.
01:27:29I'm sorry.
01:27:31I'm sorry.
01:27:33I'm sorry.