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00:30Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown studio. It's Monday the 5th of March and the start of my 9th week presenting Countdown.
00:39And I'd just like to say how grateful I am for the very many emails that have come flooding in saying that I'm not doing a bad job.
00:49I know that Rachel and Susie have made me feel welcome and their generosity of spirit and their talent have made me feel extremely comfortable.
00:57But I had an amusing email the other day which said that, you know Nick, you look so comfortable you look as though you're pulling on an old boot.
01:07Which I thought was rather interesting because then somebody said you don't really know somebody until you've tried their shoes on and walked for a mile in them.
01:17And looking at Rachel's shoes I've determined, although I don't make a habit of wearing women's shoes, I certainly couldn't walk 50 feet in those.
01:26What do you reckon?
01:27I'd give it a go.
01:28No, I wouldn't. Now tell me this Rachel, apparently 37% of women knowingly buy the wrong size shoes because they were a sales bargain. Do you fall for that one?
01:4137% of women? Where have they made this stuff up from?
01:45But also isn't there something to be said that women like to believe they have small feet and therefore they will squeeze their feet into a smaller size shoe?
01:55No, I couldn't care less. I don't want to get blisters.
01:58Alright. Well there we are.
02:00Any shoes are worth my money.
02:02Listen, your shoes are not any shoes young lady. Anyway, now I turn here to our contestants. Who have we got? Ben, you back again?
02:10I am back again, yep.
02:11And you did well on Friday. Student from Bury St Edmunds. Scored 87. That's pretty good.
02:18Yep, I was pleased with that.
02:19You happy with that? Sports Business Management at Sheffield Hallam. And you're joined by Andy Russell, a university librarian from Brighton, whose hobbies are tennis and football.
02:29And I rather worryingly read here Andy that you're a full time slave. And I read on to son Archie 8 and daughter Billy George 6.
02:38That's right, yeah. It's a full time job.
02:40Really? Are they demanding?
02:42They like me to make them breakfast in the morning, let's put it that way.
02:46Well they should be making you breakfast at the age of 8. Anyway, a warm welcome to our contestants.
02:57It's now my great pleasure and indeed honour to welcome a national treasure and an international institution in the form of Pam Ayres, MBE.
03:08Pam, welcome.
03:09Thank you very much, Nick.
03:10Now you've been here before.
03:11Makes me sound like a building. But I have been here before, yes I have.
03:15Excellent. And Susie, as ever, welcome.
03:18Thank you.
03:19Well we're now going to get right on to the game here. Ben, our incumbent champion. Off you go.
03:24Hello Rachel.
03:25Hello Ben.
03:26Could I have a consonant please?
03:27You can indeed, thank you. Start the week with Y.
03:30And another one.
03:32M.
03:33Another one.
03:35D.
03:38A vowel please.
03:40I.
03:41Another one.
03:43A.
03:45Another one.
03:47O.
03:49A consonant please.
03:51N.
03:53Another consonant.
03:55C.
03:57And a vowel please.
03:59And the last one, U.
04:02And here's the countdown clock.
04:08CLOCK TICKS
04:34So, Ben.
04:36Go with a safe five please, Nick.
04:38Safe five. And Andy?
04:40Uh, risk a six.
04:42Right. Let's hear the safe five.
04:44Mound.
04:46Right. And Andy?
04:48Maundy.
04:49Maundy.
04:50Uh, how do you spell it?
04:52M-A-U-N-D-Y.
04:54Um, it is there, but it is capitalised I'm afraid. Maundy Thursday, public ceremony on the Thursday before Easter.
05:00But we're not allowed capitalised nouns, so sorry.
05:03Right. Hard luck, hard luck Andy.
05:05Anything else over there? Pam?
05:07I've got dam.
05:09LAUGHTER
05:11And we also came up with dynamic being the dynamic duo that we are.
05:16Righty. Very good.
05:18So, uh, it's a letters game. Andy, off you go.
05:22Hi, Rachel.
05:23Hi, Andy.
05:24Uh, consonant please.
05:25Thank you. Start with F.
05:27And another.
05:29T.
05:30And a vowel.
05:32E.
05:34Consonant.
05:36G.
05:38And another.
05:41D.
05:42A vowel please.
05:44A.
05:45And another.
05:48E.
05:49And one more.
05:52O.
05:54And a consonant please.
05:57And lastly, B.
05:59Stand by.
06:05MUSIC PLAYS
06:31Now then, Andy.
06:32Seven.
06:33Ben?
06:34Seven.
06:35All right. Andy?
06:36Boasted.
06:37Boasted.
06:38And Ben?
06:39Debates.
06:40Debates.
06:41In the corner. You happy?
06:44Yes, very happy.
06:45Anything else? Can you take us further?
06:47Well, we can't take you any further, but we can offer something quite exotic with goatees.
06:53LAUGHTER
06:55And there's also bodegas.
06:57B-O-D-E-G-A-S, which are food and wine shops in Spanish-speaking countries.
07:02Good. Now then, Ben, well done.
07:0412 to Andy, seven. Plenty of time, Andy.
07:07And Ben, take it away.
07:09I'll start with a consonant please.
07:10Thank you, Ben.
07:11C.
07:13A vowel.
07:15A.
07:17A consonant.
07:19T.
07:21A consonant.
07:23D.
07:25A vowel.
07:27E.
07:29A vowel again.
07:31O.
07:33A consonant.
07:35V.
07:37A consonant.
07:39T.
07:41And a final vowel, please.
07:43And a final I.
07:46Here we go.
07:54MUSIC
08:18So, Ben.
08:20Seven.
08:21And Andy?
08:22A six. And your six would be?
08:24Caveat.
08:25Caveat. Ben?
08:26Dictate.
08:27Dictate.
08:28Oh, Andy, you need two A's for caveat, I'm afraid.
08:31Oh, dear.
08:32Sorry. Bad luck.
08:34And we have avocet, the wading bird, with a long beak, I think.
08:38Yes, and long legs. Very long legs.
08:40Right, so that extends Ben's lead 19 to seven.
08:44And Andy, it's a letters game.
08:46Off you go.
08:48A consonant, please, Rachel.
08:49Thank you, Andy.
08:50K.
08:51And another.
08:53R.
08:54And one more.
08:57Q.
08:58A vowel.
09:00A.
09:01And another.
09:03E.
09:04And one more.
09:06O.
09:07A consonant.
09:09T.
09:10And another.
09:12P.
09:15And finish with a consonant.
09:17And lastly, N.
09:19Clock time.
09:50So, Andy?
09:52I'm going to have to risk a seven.
09:55And Ben?
09:56A six.
09:57A six. What's your six, Ben?
09:58Tanker.
09:59Tanker. Andy?
10:01Pranker.
10:03You need two R's for pranker. It's actually prankster, anyway.
10:07But no can do on that one, I'm afraid.
10:10So, anything else in the corner? Pam, Susie?
10:12Yes, Nick.
10:14We have a word which you often hear in shops that sell trainers,
10:18and it's pronate.
10:20It's about your foot rolling over, I think.
10:22And they say to you, you're suffering from excess pronation.
10:26Brilliant. Brilliant.
10:27Sounds fairly serious, doesn't it?
10:29They go on training courses for that, you know.
10:31How to sell a trainer.
10:33So, Ben, 25 to add is seven.
10:35And Ben, it's the first numbers game.
10:37So, would you kindly talk to Rachel?
10:40Hi, Rachel. Could I have three big ones and three small ones, please?
10:44You can, indeed. Thank you, Ben.
10:46Three large, three small to start the week off.
10:49And for this numbers game, the three small ones are one, eight and three.
10:54And the three large ones, 25, 100 and 75.
10:59And the target to reach, 323.
11:02323.
11:16So, Ben?
11:35324.
11:37324. Andy?
11:39322, but I haven't written it down.
11:42Right, so, Andy, we'd better hear from you.
11:453 plus 1 is 4.
11:47Yep.
11:48Times 75.
11:49300.
11:51Plus the 25.
11:53325.
11:54Oh, I don't believe it.
11:56No, and I've used, no, I've used the 3 again.
11:59Oh, bad luck.
12:01OK, so let's have a look at Ben's 324.
12:05Yep, it's 100 times 3.
12:08100 times 3, 300.
12:11Plus 25.
12:12325.
12:13Minus 1.
12:14Yep.
12:15324, one away.
12:16OK.
12:17Rachel, can you take us to the promised land?
12:19Yeah, a couple of ways to do this one.
12:21You could have said 100 plus 8, 108, times 3, 324.
12:27And then just take the 1, 323.
12:29Very good, well done.
12:35And now it's time to turn to Pan Les.
12:39Miss Les.
12:40Thank you very much, Nick.
12:41Well, I had to get up at 4 o'clock this morning to come up here,
12:44so I've been thinking about sleep.
12:46And this is a little piece I wrote about not being able to get to sleep at all.
12:51I just can't get to sleep tonight, no matter what I do.
12:55I'm restless in our bed, I fuss and fidget next to you.
13:00I rather think the problem is I fell into the trap of having quite a heavy lunch
13:05and then a little nap.
13:08It wasn't very long, a little doze, the way you do.
13:12And no way was it longer than about an hour or two.
13:17And then when I woke up, well, it was suppertime, you see,
13:21and I did eat quite a lot again between you and me.
13:25I rather overdid it and I dined just like a toff.
13:29And watching television later on, I nodded off.
13:34Well, it wasn't very long, a little fade, a little snooze.
13:37My eyes were closed, but I was concentrating on the news.
13:41My husband doesn't understand my trials, which is hard.
13:45He has a low, sarcastic humor, which I try to disregard.
13:50He recommends a remedy to overcome my plight.
13:54Stay awake by day and only go to sleep at night.
13:59It's a dreadful thing, insomnia.
14:01I suffer every night.
14:03The hours, they go so slowly when you're waiting for the light.
14:07I went to see the doctor to discover what he thinks,
14:10but sitting in the waiting room, I did have 40 winks.
14:16Well, it wasn't very long, but I was made to feel quite shaky
14:20when someone shouted in me ear,
14:23you're snoring, wakey, wakey.
14:26Alas, the doctor had no cure, prescription or appliance.
14:30It's clearly a condition quite unknown to modern science,
14:34a medical phenomenon to make a doctor weep.
14:38I'm such an enigmatic case, I think I'll have a sleep.
14:49But now it's time for the tea time teaser, which is stoic car.
14:54And the clue, it's not an angry parasite, it's a type of puzzle.
15:00MUSIC
15:14Welcome back, welcome back to the clue.
15:16It's not an angry parasite, it's a type of puzzle.
15:19And the answer is a cross stick, a cross stick.
15:23I'm looking at you, Susie, what's this all about?
15:26I like that, a cross stick.
15:28Well, an acrostic poem or word puzzle is one in which certain letters
15:32in each line form a word or different words.
15:35It comes from Greek, so it's a type of puzzle,
15:37but it also could be an angry tick.
15:39An angry tick? I've got a bit of an angry tick.
15:42Good. Excellent.
15:44So, Ben, solid leadership there, Ben, 32 to Andy, 7.
15:49But there's plenty of time, Andy, don't panic about this at all.
15:52Indeed, Andy, it's your go, it's a letters game.
15:55Consonant, please.
15:57Thank you, Andy. Start with J.
16:00And another.
16:02M.
16:04And one more.
16:06R.
16:08And another.
16:10N.
16:11And a vowel.
16:13I.
16:14And another.
16:16U.
16:17And one more.
16:19E.
16:20And a consonant.
16:23R.
16:25And finish with a consonant, please.
16:27And finish with L.
16:29Very good.
16:55Andy?
16:57Just a five.
16:58A five. And Ben?
17:00Six.
17:01All right. Andy?
17:02Ruler.
17:03Ruler. Ben?
17:04Injure.
17:06Injure. And in the corner, Pam and Susie?
17:09Well, we've added a little on to that.
17:11We've got injurer.
17:13It's quite difficult to say.
17:15Yes.
17:16Somebody who injures?
17:17Yeah, the person who does the injuring.
17:19The assailant.
17:21Exactly, the assailant.
17:23Exactly, the assailant in American terms.
17:25Yes.
17:26Yeah, it's there for seven.
17:27Very good.
17:28So, 38-7, and Ben, it's a letters game.
17:32Let's start with a vowel, please.
17:34Thank you, Ben.
17:35A.
17:37Another vowel.
17:39Another A.
17:41A consonant.
17:43H.
17:45Another.
17:47G.
17:49Another one, please.
17:52M.
17:54A vowel.
17:56O.
17:58A consonant.
18:00T.
18:02A consonant.
18:04N.
18:06And a final vowel.
18:08And a final I.
18:10Tick-tock time.
18:21TICKING
18:43Ben?
18:44Six.
18:45Six. Andy?
18:46Six.
18:47All right. Ben?
18:48Mating.
18:49Mating.
18:50Mating. Right.
18:52Susie and Pam.
18:54You've got anything else, Susie?
18:56There may be a seven if moat is there as a verb.
18:58It is, yes.
18:59To surround a castle, for example, with a moat is to moat it.
19:02So, moating would be fine for seven.
19:04Moating.
19:05Moating.
19:06Not one we'd use very often.
19:08No, no.
19:09Your castle.
19:10Lovely. 44-13.
19:11Well done, Andy.
19:12Building up.
19:13And it's your letters game.
19:15Consonant, please.
19:16Thank you, Andy.
19:18S.
19:19And another.
19:21R.
19:22And one more.
19:24Z.
19:25And a vowel.
19:27O.
19:28And another.
19:30A.
19:31Consonant.
19:33S.
19:35And a vowel.
19:38I.
19:41A consonant.
19:43T.
19:45And finish with a vowel.
19:47And finish with U.
19:49Here we go.
20:18Yes, Andy?
20:20Six.
20:21Six. Ben?
20:22Six as well.
20:24Andy?
20:25Ratios.
20:26Ratios.
20:27And the same.
20:28Same there.
20:29Have a look, Andy.
20:31And in the corner?
20:33There is actually an eight, slightly last-minute one.
20:36It's sautoirs.
20:37S-A-U-T-O-I-R-S.
20:39And they are long necklaces with fine gold chains
20:42and typically set with jewels to go with your moat, perhaps.
20:46Very good.
20:48Very good.
20:49So, Ben, you've reached your half-century at 50.
20:52Andy, 19.
20:54And take it away, Ben.
20:56Letters game.
20:57Consonant, please.
20:59Thank you, Ben.
21:00L.
21:02Another one.
21:04N.
21:06Another one.
21:08T.
21:10A vowel.
21:12I.
21:15E.
21:17Another vowel.
21:19I.
21:20A consonant.
21:22M.
21:24Another consonant.
21:26S.
21:28A vowel.
21:31A.
21:33And another vowel, please.
21:35And the last one.
21:37E.
21:38Here we go.
21:44ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS
22:10Let's have it, Ben.
22:11Seven.
22:12Andy?
22:14I'm going to have to risk a nine.
22:16Good. I like risks.
22:18Ben?
22:20N tails.
22:21N tails.
22:23And Andy?
22:24Mentalise.
22:26Mentalise.
22:28It's not a bad guess at all.
22:32It sounds completely plausible.
22:35Oh, there's mentalism, a mentalist, but not mentalise.
22:39That's really bad luck.
22:41A good lunge at the dictionary there, Andy.
22:43Yeah.
22:44Very good.
22:45Anything else there?
22:47We have mealiest.
22:49As in, of all the boxes of muesli, this was the mealiest.
22:54Right. Good.
22:56Now, Susie.
22:58I've sharpened my pencil.
23:00I love this part of the day.
23:02Off you go.
23:03Oh, well, I have to thank viewers again this week
23:06for the queries that they've sent in.
23:08Alan Miller emailed in
23:10and asked, why and when did we start calling men guys?
23:15The use of guy to mean a generic man or a fellow
23:18probably does go back to the effigy of Guy Fawkes,
23:21as you might have guessed,
23:22paraded around towns on the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot.
23:26The figure is usually accompanied by other effigies as well,
23:29often of unpopular people in the town as well as of criminals.
23:32And so the term guys, given to this lot of effigies,
23:36probably over time transferred to the idea of somebody who was a man
23:40and usually a criminal man.
23:42In fact, the first sense of guy was someone who was sly
23:45and committed dark deeds and then ran off.
23:48Over time, the insult lessened,
23:50but the use of a guy to mean a man or people remained.
23:54And, incidentally, the author Mark Forsyth has written,
23:57really interestingly, about how man, as a term of address,
24:00became popular, particularly amongst black Americans,
24:03after the Battle of Gettysburg freed slaves
24:05because they were sick of being called boy by their slave owners.
24:09And so they greeted each other as man with real pride
24:11as a reaction to the boy that they'd been treated with for years.
24:14Interesting.
24:16APPLAUSE
24:19Excellent. So now, Andy, it's a numbers game and it's your numbers game.
24:24Talk to Rachel there.
24:26Hi. Can I have two large and four small, please, Rachel?
24:28You can, of course. Thank you, Andy.
24:30Two from the top row, four from the bottom rows.
24:33And for this round, the four small ones are 4, 9, 6 and 7
24:39and the large two, 100 and 25
24:43and the target to reach, 927.
24:46927.
25:04MUSIC PLAYS
25:18So, Andy?
25:20927.
25:21And Ben?
25:22927.
25:23All right. Andy?
25:257 minus 4 is 3.
25:27Yep.
25:28Plus 100.
25:29103.
25:30Times 9.
25:31927. Well done.
25:32And Ben?
25:33I did 9 times 100.
25:35900.
25:37Plus 25.
25:38Yeah.
25:396 minus 4 for the 2.
25:41And another way to get to 27, yeah.
25:4397. Well done.
25:44APPLAUSE
25:46And now it's time for our tea time teaser, which is Mini Boat.
25:50And the clue, it's all about the desire to achieve.
25:55MUSIC PLAYS
26:02APPLAUSE
26:08Welcome back. I left you with the clue.
26:10It's all about the desire to achieve.
26:13And the answer, of course, ambition.
26:16Ambition.
26:17Ben, 67 to Andy's 29.
26:19And Ben, our champ, take it away. Letters game.
26:25A consonant, please.
26:26Thank you, Ben.
26:27R
26:29Another one?
26:31L
26:32Another one?
26:34S
26:36A vowel?
26:38O
26:39Another one?
26:41E
26:42Another one?
26:45A
26:47A consonant?
26:49D
26:51Another one?
26:53W
26:54And a final vowel, please.
26:56And a final I.
26:59Talk time.
27:00MUSIC PLAYS
27:30Champ?
27:32Eight, risky.
27:34A risky eight. And Andy?
27:36Er, six.
27:38And your six?
27:39Swords.
27:40Swords. And the risky one?
27:42Worldies.
27:44OK.
27:45What do you think about that?
27:47First of all, there's only one S, which Andy's just realised,
27:50so we can't have swords.
27:52I don't think you'll find worldies.
27:55Not there, as a noun, I'm afraid, Ben.
27:58Sorry, it was risky.
28:00We've got a blank there. What has the corner got to offer us?
28:03There is an eight there.
28:04Darioles, D-A-R-I-O-L-E-S,
28:06are small flowerpot-shaped moulds
28:08in which sweet or savoury dishes are cooked and served.
28:14Very good.
28:16Only Susie could come up with something like that.
28:19Very good. 67 to 29.
28:21And Andy, kick off for a letters game.
28:24Consonant, please.
28:25Thank you, Andy.
28:26R
28:27And another.
28:29P
28:30And one more.
28:32C
28:33And a vowel.
28:35O
28:36And another.
28:38E
28:39And one more.
28:41I
28:42And a consonant.
28:44S
28:46And another consonant.
28:49N
28:51And a final consonant.
28:54And a final D.
28:56Here we go.
29:27Andy?
29:28Er, dodgy seven.
29:30A dodgy seven. Ben?
29:32Seven.
29:33A seven.
29:34So, Andy, let's have the dodgy one.
29:36Coiners.
29:37Coiners. Ben?
29:39Copiers.
29:40Copiers.
29:41OK.
29:42Susie?
29:43I'm pretty sure you can be a mint coiner as well as a word coiner.
29:46You can be. Yeah, not risky. Well done.
29:48All right. Anything else? Pamela?
29:51I've got prints, as in one day my prints will come.
29:55But I would like to impress you with the other one, which is a nine,
29:59and it's conspired.
30:03Very good. Conspiracy.
30:07OK, so Ben at 74, Andy at 36.
30:10And, Ben, our champ, off you go.
30:13Consonant, please.
30:14Thank you, Ben.
30:15L
30:17A vowel.
30:19A
30:21A consonant.
30:23S
30:25A vowel.
30:27E
30:29Consonant.
30:31T
30:33Another consonant.
30:35B
30:37A vowel.
30:39U
30:41Consonant.
30:43R
30:45And another one, please.
30:46And the last one, P.
30:48Well done. Clock.
30:53CLOCK TICKS
30:56CLOCK TICKS
31:21Ben.
31:23Six. Andy?
31:25Risky seven.
31:27Ben?
31:28Brutal.
31:29Rude. Andy?
31:31Blaster.
31:32A blaster. Oh, blaster's absolutely fine. Yeah.
31:36Very good. And in the corner?
31:38We have a seven, which is plaster,
31:41and then Susie's got something which I don't understand.
31:44Oh.
31:45So I will pass over to Susie.
31:47We had to do the Tea Time teaser quite recently.
31:50It's pubertal. It's the adjective from puberty.
31:53So a child could be pubertal, for example.
31:55Oh, I see. I remember that.
31:57I can barely remember it.
31:59Thank goodness. Thank goodness.
32:0174 to 43. Andy, the last numbers game of the day.
32:06We'll go out with two large and four small, please.
32:10Thank you, Andy. Same again. Two big ones, four little ones
32:13for the last numbers game.
32:15And this time the four small are one, six, nine
32:19and seven, and the two large ones, 75 and 50.
32:23And the target to reach, 266.
32:26266.
32:49MUSIC PLAYS
33:00Andy? 266.
33:02266. And Ben? 266.
33:04Andy, let's hear from you.
33:066 minus 1 is 5. Yep.
33:08Times 50. 250.
33:10And then 9 plus 7 is 16. Yep.
33:13And add them on. 266. Well done.
33:15And Ben? Same way.
33:17You happy, Andy?
33:19Yeah, well, he's got it right. I'm not happy, but he's got it right.
33:22APPLAUSE
33:26Well, we couldn't be too dismayed.
33:2884 to 53.
33:30Final round. Conundrum time.
33:32So, fingers on buzzers, please, to reveal today's countdown conundrum.
33:37MUSIC PLAYS
33:48Andy? Musically.
33:51Let's have a look.
33:55Very good.
33:59Not a bad score. 63.
34:02Yeah, that's fair, that's fair.
34:04But the champ retains the crown.
34:07Andy, you go home to Brighton with your goodie bag for the children.
34:12They'll no doubt tear it away from you.
34:15Thank you. Good luck to you.
34:17Thank you. Good luck to you. And we'll see you tomorrow.
34:20Do you know something, Pamela?
34:22I've been worrying about one of your great poems, a lot of them,
34:24but I've picked out, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
34:27And I had our money-making scheme that you could sell the rights to it
34:31to the British Dental Association worldwide.
34:34Make a fortune, they could then have them on their waiting room walls.
34:38How about that?
34:40Well, it's sort of been done, really, except we didn't sell it for a fortune,
34:44we sold it for a poster, a jolly poster of it with tubes of toothpaste
34:47and licorice all sorts and suchlike on it.
34:50And it was quite popular and lots of dentists have got it up on their walls
34:54to lighten the gloom a little bit.
34:56That's a lovely idea.
34:58Do you know, I was told as a child, and this is sort of a medical poem,
35:01that the worst rhyming couplet in the English language was
35:04down the wire the message came, she's not much better, she's much the same,
35:08about Queen Victoria when she was on her deathbed.
35:11McGonagall, I think.
35:13A bit like McGonagall.
35:15Yeah, he was the poet laureate, I think.
35:17Anyway, moving swiftly on, Susie, great to see you as ever.
35:20Thank you.
35:22And thank you for all your wisdom and strange words.
35:25Rachel, as ever, we'll be thinking about your shoes
35:28and we may get round to it, you never know.
35:30But I hope you'll get round to joining us tomorrow, same time, same place.
35:34We're counting on it.
35:36APPLAUSE
35:44Ten o'clock tonight.
35:46The life of a limousine chauffeur.
35:48What that rear mirror has witnessed.
35:50They've seen it all.
35:52And they're telling it all.
35:54Next this afternoon, though, it's deal or no deal.
35:57APPLAUSE