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00:00Grandma, you crash your damn car, into every landmark, because your eyes can't see at all.
00:14Grandma, it won't be damn long, before you're a phantom, and you are haunting from beyond.
00:24We got a fetish for babes, gray-headed in age, ranging from 77 to dead in the grave.
00:29You'll be grayin' motherfuckers with an edifice complex in your grandma's neck, so get out of our way.
00:34Silver foxes with liver spots that never will fade, and I gotta give them props for all the sweaters they made.
00:39My check got Alzheimer's, how am I forgetting your name?
00:42Cause you're old, bitch, you were Thomas Edison's maid.
00:44Not every day needs a cane to get up and bathe, but you're setting the waves in bed by 7 or 8.
00:50It's time to take your medicine faith, you wanna analate all the edible waste.
00:55Grandma, we're at a standoff, I want a handjob, but this time I want the stroke.
01:05Grandma, I've got some plans drawn, the wedding band's bought, unless I find out that you're broke.
01:15I met this single broad, her name I think is Maude. Wrinkle scars make my motherfuckin' thing get hard.
01:20I think I'm fallin' in love, but this fling is wrong.
01:22I hit a G-spot that's not on her bingo card.
01:24She has to eat through straws, cause her teeth are gone.
01:27She drinks her meat and corn, and she speaks the form.
01:29Mostly from the stroke she had two weeks before.
01:32Lookin' ghostly, titties sag, they've reached the floor.
01:35Maybe she's havin' trouble with a couple of steps, but she can rest on my chest and still suck on my neck.
01:39She has a few molars left, but I punk her with less.
01:42Her pussy's everything, yeah, everything other than wet.
01:45Her decrepit skin stretchin' all one, and it's funny.
01:47It's doin' it like I'm recordin' a crummy poem with a mummy.
01:49She's 84 and I'm 20, she was born in the 20's.
01:52I'm horny cause we screwin' where she's storin' her money.
01:55Grandma, ain't used a tampon since she used candles and oil lamps to light her home.
02:05Grandma, Matlock was canceled.
02:09Turn on Sopranos, cause we can't watch your stupid show.
02:15The senior citizen will suck my wiener till it's glistenin'.
02:18She ain't listenin', her needs are hearing aid fixed again.
02:20I'm yoin' at the top of my lungs, she thinks I'm whisperin'.
02:23Chris is givin' assisted living bitches some dick again.
02:25And to think, they told us we shouldn't be mountin' these women.
02:28When I'm doin' 69, I ain't talkin' bout a position.
02:30She's so blind, the windows in her house are prescripsin'.
02:33I'm puttin' towels on the couch where she's now in the pits.
02:35And I'm tryin' to bone this sweet chick into retirement home.
02:38But she keeps gettin' sick cause she's 90 years old.
02:40And she's dyin' a slow death from a virus of cold.
02:43I'm checkin' her pulse and her breath.
02:44You better dial the phone.
02:45This bitch is dead, damn.
02:46We gotta call an ambulance.
02:48Don't be so hasty, man.
02:49I wanna get in her pants again.
02:51That is so sick.
02:52Don't act like you're not a fan of it.
02:53I saw you do the same thing last week to Miss Flanagan.
02:56Grandma, she got her land from her husband Nathaniel.
03:02But now I'm in her will.
03:06Grandpa was on the mantle.
03:09His ashes crammed all into an urn.
03:14But it got spilled.
03:18I'm tired.