Synopsis Two Ph. D. candidates, one an African Muslim and the other an agnostic, begin a romance after meeting at a museum. They discover that a love between different cultures and religions may have consequences.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I
00:00:30You
00:00:39Realize this draft isn't anywhere near being ready to defend I
00:00:45Thought it was pretty good progress consider shit
00:00:48Excuse me Ben you and I both know that's bullshit. I have the ideas there
00:00:53Look, I get it
00:00:54It's a lot more fun to spin theories out loud than it is to sit at your computer and make things make sense
00:01:01With a little more time. You don't have any more time. This is your seventh year
00:01:05Your clock has run out man. If you don't defend on schedule all your coursework becomes invalid
00:01:15Now your arguments and dialectic isn't bad an overview of the
00:01:22Philosophical spread of Calvinism across Western Europe
00:01:26I'm focusing on how the idea of predestination shaped society how it affected politics culture. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Not bad
00:01:33But you got to stop procrastinating that may have gotten you through your master's but it's not gonna work here now focus and get to work
00:01:51No
00:01:58Stop it
00:02:01Mohammed be nice to your sister. She's a girl, but she started Mohammed drink your orange juice. I want apple juice
00:02:08Enough we ran out. All right, is that food almost ready? Almost? She let us have done. It's last time
00:02:15I didn't give him doughnuts
00:02:17Miriam, you know what Allah says about life
00:02:21I spoke to your grandmother today. Every time I call her. She's asking about you. When are you going to call that woman?
00:02:27It's always the same conversation about great-grandkids
00:02:30I'll give her a call later. Oh and Najeeb's mother called. She's insisting that you join them for dinner this week
00:02:36It's not a good week for that. When is it going to be a good week a
00:02:40Good man, like Najeeb isn't going to chase you forever
00:02:44Ara you have to start taking your place in the community
00:02:52I
00:03:05Take it you're finished for the night. I just started proofing
00:03:15I'd like to get a little more finished before I have to get up tomorrow and do it all over again
00:03:19Maybe it's time to give the dissertation a break for the night
00:03:23Give yourself some rest mom
00:03:26for your own sake
00:03:28remember scripture says
00:03:30To the righteous soul it will be said. Oh thou soul in complete rest and satisfaction
00:03:37What would a righteous woman do tonight?
00:03:40Didn't you say something about your friend's art exhibit?
00:03:44Why don't you take the evening off and go support her Sasha wouldn't miss me
00:03:49Would you stop it go see it if just for curiosity's sake I?
00:03:53Guess I'm obsessing over this because it's my last paper as a student if you give it too much power. It will control you
00:04:01sweetheart
00:04:02Go to the gallery
00:04:19Hey
00:04:25Hey, how's work coming slow?
00:04:29Okay, well
00:04:31Are you gonna be there all night?
00:04:33Don't know my break for a few and get back to it. All right well
00:04:36You are still coming to the family dinner on Sunday, right? Yeah
00:04:41No, you skip this week
00:04:44Please stop being a martyr because you could come if you wanted to and do you
00:04:51Understand that you are wasting your time on a PhD. That is essentially worthless
00:04:56I don't need this from you right now. You are afraid of the real world. What is the real world really here?
00:05:03We go again. No tell me
00:05:05Accounting firms are the real world and academia isn't that right?
00:05:09You know what I think I think that I'm gonna go out with Manny tonight. Is that cool with you?
00:05:16Are you asking me now?
00:05:18People change and you know frankly I really don't need any more drama in my life. So yes, I'm asking
00:05:26That's the deal, right?
00:05:39You
00:05:41You
00:06:06Name please Vivian
00:06:11Name please. All right, your lolly Sasha's friend, right? Yeah, go ahead name, please Alice
00:06:23I didn't think you'll make it. Wow, it all looks so beautiful
00:06:28Amazing I am so glad you're here me, too
00:06:32No, he's gonna be coming here later
00:06:36Which one is it this time? Jamar? Of course my Frenchman. Hmm
00:06:42What about you? What about me? Don't like them. There's no time. Why don't you make time?
00:06:50You keep staring at my champagne you want some no, I just like the smell I
00:06:56Love you. All right
00:06:58Excuse me. You have a bio
00:07:12You
00:07:29What were you saying
00:07:33Beg your pardon when they took the photograph of you, what were you thinking?
00:07:37Don't know my friend took it
00:07:40It's more of a favor to her
00:07:43You didn't answer the question
00:07:47The answer is nothing
00:07:52It was a windy day kind of chilly it's just looking up at the clouds
00:07:59That's impossible no one really thinks about nothing
00:08:02Excuse me. Maybe you're thinking about how cold it was outside
00:08:06Don't worry about how you want this to turn out. Well for your friend
00:08:10It's just a turn of phrase
00:08:12Why not say my mind was wandering or?
00:08:15nothing in particular
00:08:17So you're just nothing that's inaccurate you take things pretty literally I
00:08:24Go to school with you. We're in the same department in Johnson. Oh
00:08:32It's amazing photograph
00:08:34Everyone's really raving about your work. You're about to defend fourth year in
00:08:39Is it ever really ready
00:08:43What about you I am woefully behind actually
00:08:50That's helpful what what we did earlier
00:08:54Back and forth about nothingness. That's helpful. Thank you
00:09:01Yeah, five minutes actually
00:09:04To just to bounce some ideas off of you
00:09:08That's cool
00:09:11Okay, yeah sure
00:09:16I'm right about the concept of fate and John Calvin's teachings on predestination how it affected Western philosophy
00:09:23So where's your trouble I could pile this great reading list I did all this research
00:09:29And then my first draft just sucked you didn't send any segments to your advisor
00:09:34Something like that
00:09:38I don't know. I think philosophy is more about talking and fleshing out truths
00:09:44Sounds like maybe you procrastinate
00:09:47How do you know it's procrastination you're in your last stage of a PhD program
00:09:52You must have written papers in your master's that were good enough to get you here, right?
00:09:56Right, so you've probably had this habit for a while
00:10:02Well yours my dissertation yeah
00:10:08It's about Cameroonian philosophy pre-colonization
00:10:13How their ideas might have been different without European intrusion?
00:10:17It's like trying to ungrasp divine from a tree
00:10:21How would have looked you think better?
00:10:24That's objective. I believe thought develops best out of captivity. So in that respect. Yeah better
00:10:33What about you and Calvin would have been better had he not come along
00:10:38Or if his teachings never took off
00:10:41No, I never really weighed in on that specific topic
00:10:46You don't have an opinion on how a major movement like that affected your religion I'm agnostic I don't have a religion
00:10:55That can't be a surprise most of the departments that way
00:10:59Not everyone
00:11:02Sorry
00:11:04I'm not religious, but I think the Reformation was more about
00:11:10Freedom from Rome and the Pope. I mean King Henry. Come on that had nothing to do with God. He just wanted a divorce
00:11:20But I mean maybe separation from the pop see was a good thing I mean once be Catholic, right
00:11:25I
00:11:33Had better get going it's nice running into um, do you wanna maybe meet up again?
00:11:39like
00:11:41Okay, your number
00:11:45Sure, okay. Um here let me have yours. I'll text it to you. Nice try
00:11:56I
00:12:00Was gonna run into you
00:12:10All right, don't forget to schedule dinner with Najeeb's parents this week I know you hear me
00:12:25I
00:12:55Oh
00:13:03My faith in Allah has been a source of strength and peace for me
00:13:09It feels like a lifeline really something that saves me from drowning when I'm at my lowest
00:13:15That's why staying pure before Allah is so important
00:13:19We're created to crave God
00:13:21to want Allah
00:13:24But it's the human challenge to make our bodies and our minds sync up with Allah
00:13:30Last Friday, we talked about how the Holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
00:13:37The best treasure is an obedient wife having a good disposition so that her husband is pleased to see her and
00:13:45When the husband is not home
00:13:47She protects her chastity
00:13:49But
00:13:52At the same time I feel like God wants us to explore the world that he gave us I
00:13:59Think that's a big part of our relationship with him, too
00:14:02Hello
00:14:04Dr. Jalali I presume
00:14:07Not yet, mom
00:14:10Can you stop by the mosque and get the tablecloths that I loaned to Najeeb's mom?
00:14:16Okay
00:14:18Why don't you have dinner with them this week mom?
00:14:20I don't want to be a burden to Najeeb's family
00:14:23I don't want to be a burden to the family
00:14:25I want to be a burden to the family
00:14:27I want to be a burden to the family
00:14:29Why don't you have dinner with them this week mom
00:14:39Mom I'll think about it. I have to go. Love you. Bye
00:14:59You're good. Thanks. Hey, well
00:15:10So
00:15:11Did you make any progress today? Yeah, I finally started my second draft last night. Wait
00:15:17You're just now writing your second draft. I know I'm like it
00:15:21You're crazy
00:15:24You'd be proud I spent all morning writing got you ten pages
00:15:27Out of what 150
00:15:31You should be chained to your desk
00:15:34Work better under pressure
00:15:36Why not set an appointment to write every day?
00:15:39Set an alarm if you have to
00:15:41But um, I gave you the inspiration for your topic
00:15:45My experience is in Cameroon. I would always hear my grandmother talk about the cycle of the human soul
00:15:50It wasn't until I was an undergrad that I realized that that's how my people preserve their philosophies
00:15:57A lot of our ideas survived. I mean even though the country has been Christianized
00:16:03People still practice some form of ancestor worship
00:16:06What do they say about the cycle of the soul?
00:16:09Well, my tribe believes that it's synced with the world around us
00:16:13particularly the ocean and
00:16:16That the spirit of our ancestors live in the sea
00:16:19The good ones act as an intermediary between us and God
00:16:23Is that what you believe?
00:16:25Well, I believe that when you die your soul enters an in-between stage
00:16:28The souls of good people are in a state of paradise awaiting the last day
00:16:34What about the bad people
00:16:36For them it's not so nice
00:16:43Are there many other Muslims in Cameroon some I
00:16:47Actually grew up Christian
00:16:49And then my mom got married to my stepdad who's Muslim and then we converted
00:16:56He was an American visiting Africa he was a missionary no, he was a lawyer
00:17:02He converted you guys though. Well, he wasn't an official missionary
00:17:10Do you ever know your biological dad? No, he died when I was a baby
00:17:15My stepdad died a few years ago
00:17:19Sorry
00:17:25Time to get back to work
00:17:27Come on, that was like two minutes. That's how it should be
00:17:30Go, right. I don't want you failing to be on my conscience
00:17:34Maybe again tomorrow. Um
00:17:38Sure if I have time, okay
00:17:50Looks hide sit down have some tea
00:17:55Najeeb and his father came by today
00:18:00Mr. Saeed just made partner and Najeeb is going to be an associate at the same fam when he's passed the bar nice
00:18:10You know what they came back to talk about right I
00:18:15Thought if I played dumb I could avoid the subject
00:18:18Najeeb is a hot commodity and he's not going to be on the market for long mom
00:18:24You don't even act interested in men that's because it's rare to find one who's interesting
00:18:29You mean all those years in college. You haven't been interested in anyone. So
00:18:35You do like men don't you? Yes
00:18:39All I'm saying is that you could give him a chance
00:18:43It's time
00:18:45When I'm done with my dissertation, I'll deal with it
00:18:47You know our maybe that's your problem you look at love as something to be dealt with
00:19:17I
00:19:41Want us to stay at my place why because it's fucking clean
00:19:47I mean your parents they hooked you up with this place the least that you could do is actually keep it clean
00:19:53I'll clean one more head with us
00:19:57Yeah, well I
00:20:01Think that you have done enough work today. I need to finish this. Okay
00:20:10Seriously, I mean god forbid that we actually take our clothes off and
00:20:17touch each other
00:20:24I'm going to Maddie
00:20:36French roast with half-and-half, right? Thanks. Welcome. Do you have a table inside? Oh, you know, actually I've been sitting all day long
00:20:43Do you want to maybe take a walk?
00:20:45Sure
00:20:50So you never told me about your family, what'd you like to know
00:20:55Where are you from I
00:20:57Was born in Texas, but we moved to Seattle when my mom got out of the Air Force
00:21:03So it's just you and your mom
00:21:05My stepmom too. Oh
00:21:11She is a lesbian. Yeah, I got that
00:21:16So you never knew your dad
00:21:20Yeah, he's a bad guy
00:21:22roughed us up a bunch
00:21:25One night he beat us up both pretty bad. She grabbed me and left. I'm so sorry
00:21:29You don't have to be shit happens, you know, I
00:21:32Don't think stuff like that just happens. I could talk about it. Now. It seems like a
00:21:37Bad dream I used to have when I was a kid
00:21:40Is that when you lost your faith and what?
00:21:43God
00:21:45Don't recall ever having any your parents weren't Christians. No both atheists
00:21:50Grandparents, too. I guess you'd say like a third-generation skeptic
00:21:54So you've always doubted I've always maintained that anything these people say that they know about God is uncertain
00:22:02So your first generation agnostic because your parents were atheists. No, they felt the same way
00:22:07Right, but you just said that they were atheists
00:22:10Atheists aren't unsure. There's they're certain that there is no God their levels of atheism
00:22:16Which one are you atheist light?
00:22:22Was it weird when your mom came out
00:22:24It was odd at first, but she was so much more happy. I didn't care
00:22:28And I love my stepmom, too
00:22:32Wonder if you would have felt the same way in Texas. Why would that have mattered?
00:22:37Places can affect people's attitudes
00:22:39I think if you're strong enough, you can keep stuff out like water-resistant wood
00:22:46When you go back to Cameroon does it affect your attitude, of course
00:22:50My grandma's crazy
00:22:53She's not religious but somehow our converting to Islam traumatized her
00:22:58You ever feel oppressed by religion. I can't wear the headscarf
00:23:02Called a hijab and I wear it because I want to
00:23:06My grandma bugs me about it, too
00:23:10to make you feel angry
00:23:12no, just
00:23:15Alienated I don't fit in back home and I don't quite fit in here either
00:23:22Makes me wish there was an in-between place next summer. You could just be without offending anyone
00:23:29Yeah
00:23:32Well, it's time to get back to work
00:23:37I
00:23:40Heard you lolly. Yeah
00:23:45God she's Sasha's friend
00:23:47so, um
00:23:49How did you two meet?
00:23:51I've known her for a while. Actually, we're in the same department better an art gallery and we started talking
00:23:58you
00:24:01She is Sasha's good friend
00:24:06So, um
00:24:09Are you guys gonna start seeing each other more often?
00:24:18Well, I'm gonna go spend the night at Manny's house tomorrow night
00:24:25Yeah
00:24:38Come on are you should have got that?
00:24:40I'm out of practice
00:24:42Used to be really good, right?
00:24:44Good enough not to be embarrassing you ever miss it. I miss all my free time. I
00:24:49Play in the league helps me blow off steam
00:24:51Wanna come watch me sometime. Maybe we'll grab some food after
00:25:22I
00:25:42Was up late riding last night and it all of a sudden came to me I'm gonna throw in a section of Spinoza's theory
00:25:49If you added a section about rationalistic pantheism, mm-hmm
00:25:55That has nothing to do with your topic. It has everything to do with it
00:25:59I'm gonna show that Calvin paved the way for other thinkers like Spinoza
00:26:02So in a way Calvinism helped move along the Renaissance you have to show evidence
00:26:06Are you sure you're not just a rationalistic pantheist and this isn't your way of infusing your personal beliefs into your argument agnostic
00:26:13I don't think it's possible to know if any deity exists not even Spinoza's. Maybe some people can
00:26:19There's no certainty that certainty is its gravity cell division death
00:26:23Okay, but wouldn't you say that some people innately have a better understanding of physics than others?
00:26:27I mean, maybe the same is true for supernatural things
00:26:30Maybe there are physical ways to study metaphysics that we just don't know about based on what people know right here and now
00:26:36There's no certainty
00:26:38Well Spinoza would argue that the universe is deterministic everything that has happened or will happen
00:26:45Could not have unfolded in any other way
00:26:48And you're welcome
00:26:50Why well Spinoza's deterministic theory is a tie-in to Calvin's predestination
00:26:59Would you mind coming and taking a look at some of my writing sure I'm curious at this point
00:27:09You
00:27:15Not bad your pros and ideas are great
00:27:19Thanks ever heard of spellcheck. I hate spellcheck that being the hardest part about writing a paper. I
00:27:29Got a call from my friend Sasha the other day. She said you were seeing one of her friends Gabrielle
00:27:36Yeah, got Mitch and meeting you once or twice is it weird for her that we're hanging out no, why would that be weird?
00:27:44Seems like she'd be jealous. Yeah, we have an open relationship
00:27:49What?
00:27:50Hmm we both see other people
00:27:54She has another guy named Manny. I'm cool with it. And how many women are you seeing so far just her?
00:28:01I'm pickier than she is
00:28:03You're all crazy
00:28:05Why?
00:28:07Don't you find that the least bit of normal? No, we don't
00:28:11You don't want to get married. No, not right now. No
00:28:15She feels the same way. I mean if it changes it changes only in grad school
00:28:19You're telling me that you've never had a boyfriend who you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with. I
00:28:26Haven't really dated any
00:28:28That's a little abnormal
00:28:30jerk
00:28:33When everyone started dating in high school
00:28:36None of the boys seemed interested in me. So
00:28:40By the time we got into college, I was too busy
00:28:43Did you make yourself too busy?
00:28:46well, my parents wouldn't allow it and I
00:28:49Wasn't ready for marriage yet. So I put all that on the shelf. You couldn't date until you're ready to get married. No
00:28:58Plus I was coughing out
00:29:00How so
00:29:02well, I
00:29:04Guess I use my beliefs as a way of avoiding all the awkwardness
00:29:08It's easier to hide behind them
00:29:11Well, I've been hiding a bit myself lately you
00:29:15From what? Oh life. It's my seventh year in I could have defended my fifth year if I'd won
00:29:23Why didn't you
00:29:26I've been a student all my life. I don't know what I do with myself
00:29:38Are you nosing through my mp3 maybe I don't think we're in a music-sharing stage in our relationship yet
00:29:49See anything you like, um, yeah
00:29:56I
00:30:04Used to catch my mom listening to music like this when she thought no one was watching
00:30:25Do
00:30:30Show you affection treat every moment
00:30:37Don't have to worry
00:30:41You don't have to
00:30:45No need to protect your heart
00:30:48Oh
00:30:52If you with this your voice is on my wish list, I know that it's not Christmas
00:30:57But I'm looking for your presence in my everyday
00:31:04Shit shit, I'm sorry. Oh
00:31:13It goes off each day for my me, right
00:31:18You listen
00:31:24Has it helped yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm caught up
00:31:31Maybe I can use my superpowers to help you with other problems in your life. Oh, you have superpowers. Oh, yes
00:31:42What were you gonna write about
00:31:44I
00:31:45Spinoza and the ripples in the universe
00:31:49But how everything that is or will be are all like ripples in a pond all outside our control and nothing can change them
00:31:57What about Calvin
00:31:59It's gonna use the time that you gave me but how
00:32:02Calvin's predestination is a version of the Christian version of Spinoza's theory
00:32:10Do you believe that
00:32:13Spinoza copy Calvin no
00:32:17and their theories I
00:32:20Believe that what we do causes things to happen and then the consequences they
00:32:27unavoidable sometimes but
00:32:30It's all because of the choices
00:32:33So cause and consequence, yeah
00:32:39You don't believe in destiny then no
00:32:43Okay, well if reality is all action and reaction then could the thing that started it all be destiny
00:32:51So you're saying that whatever cause of the ripples?
00:32:54In the universe, that's destiny
00:32:56maybe in
00:32:58Islam we call it Qadar Qadar
00:33:02Yeah, it's um
00:33:04The Arabic word for destiny
00:33:07we believe that
00:33:10Everything that has happened or will happen is known by Allah
00:33:14So everything is determined by God. No, it's still cause and consequence. It's just that Allah sees everything
00:33:25What no, it's just you
00:33:39I'm
00:34:10You
00:34:24Where's your silverware sure the left
00:34:28Mind if we eat standing up
00:34:31Okay
00:34:34At home we have to sit until everyone's done you ever get tired of the lifestyle yes and no
00:34:39Which parts like how to save yourself from marriage?
00:34:42no, but
00:34:44When everyone else is doing it, it's like you're missing out on something
00:34:49You think what we did the other day is a sin
00:34:53Yeah
00:34:55Can you let it be on me?
00:34:57Doesn't work that way. I
00:35:00Have to take care of it
00:35:04Don't confession
00:35:06You've got your religions mixed up
00:35:10Our repentance is called Taba and you do it only to Allah all that because we made out
00:35:16Is that so hard to believe? Yeah a little bit. Yeah
00:35:19You've never repented over
00:35:22Anything you did not anything like that. No, it sounds horrible to me
00:35:24I haven't told someone you're sorry all the time like you're constantly going to the spiritual principal's office or something
00:35:30You're thinking about it the wrong way. It's
00:35:34Reconciliation to God you repent to get closer to God
00:35:39What else do you ask God for all kinds of things?
00:35:43Yeah, like what I?
00:35:45Asked him to help people. I
00:35:48Also pray for my stepdad
00:35:51Said he passed away, right?
00:35:52Yeah, it's a do a prayer you say it for the dead. What do you ask God to do for the dead? I asked him to
00:36:00Make them among the guided ones and fill their graves with light
00:36:06You ever pray before
00:36:10Yeah, once when I was a little boy, I saw a bunch of Mormons praying in a restaurant and I prayed and asked God for
00:36:16a million bucks
00:36:17He didn't give it to me. It didn't work
00:36:23I'm gonna say prayer for you. Come on. Get out. I'm going to know we don't have to what would you pray for?
00:36:30My mom's sick, what's her name Andrea?
00:36:40Allah
00:36:41You are ever merciful and kind
00:36:44Great healer, please. Have mercy on Andrea and cure her from her illness
00:36:51Hey, what are you making?
00:36:58Oh
00:37:01Hi Aura, how are you? I'm good. So
00:37:07I'm making pasta. Good thinking man
00:37:15Hmm
00:37:17No wine, come on you're being a bad host Ben. Yeah, she doesn't drink. Yeah, really. Yeah
00:37:26You're missing out
00:37:28I'm gonna have some though
00:37:31So
00:37:34Um, tell me what else can't you all have a few things
00:37:41Actually, I have to go lots of meetings tomorrow. Hey, I'll walk you up. No, it's fine
00:37:56Well, that was weird
00:38:00I
00:38:09Be careful with her
00:38:20Oh
00:38:21My god, you're kidding. Swear. I'm not my little girl. So grown-up hardly
00:38:28You kept everything intact, right?
00:38:31Wow, I just want to make sure you're all looked up down there. But seriously though, how do you feel?
00:38:37I can't shake the feeling that I'm screwing everything up screwing what up my life
00:38:43Family God sometimes you have to do what's right for you
00:38:49Come in
00:38:52Oh, hi guys, it's been a while
00:39:02Hi, all right, hi, I actually wanted to talk with you a moment
00:39:08Okay
00:39:10Well, unless you guys are in the middle of something no, it's fine I'll leave you girls to talk
00:39:21Mm-hmm
00:39:28Look I
00:39:30Know the whole thing with you and Ben
00:39:33And well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm cool with it. So you both have other people
00:39:41Well, I don't believe that you ever truly have somebody I think we're more like jellyfish
00:39:48They don't really ever hold on to their mates
00:39:51They just kind of float around
00:39:54Touching each other. Is that what you believe? That's what I think is true
00:39:59And I like you and just because you're connecting with Ben
00:40:06Doesn't mean that there should be any awkwardness between us
00:40:21Oh
00:40:52You
00:41:05What does it taste like
00:41:09As bite like a soda, but no sweetness to it so bitter and sharp
00:41:16Very good
00:41:21Okay
00:41:52I
00:41:57Leave tell your daughter. I said, thank you for watching the kids. Oh, she was glad to do it
00:42:05Before our finishes her degree
00:42:10This semester, thank Allah
00:42:14Is that our
00:42:17You need your eyes checked ours a good two inches shorter than hair
00:42:21I
00:42:51I
00:42:54Okay
00:42:56It's just that
00:42:59All my life I've been taught never to do this before marriage
00:43:04Is that what you want
00:43:07Hey
00:43:11We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, okay, I
00:43:16Think people should be able to free to explore this kind of stuff when they're reading if you're not that's okay
00:43:21It's okay
00:43:51I
00:44:04Just need my things so what you're not gonna give us a chance there is no us
00:44:21Hi mom, hi
00:44:26You okay, I'm just a little tired
00:44:31Did you have a good time last night
00:44:36It was all right
00:44:44Allah forgive me
00:44:48Allah forgive me
00:44:51Allah forgive me
00:44:58Hey
00:45:02We talk for a minute, yeah, come I
00:45:10Know you an apology for the other night
00:45:12I just want to know what I did to make you run out of there like that. No, it has nothing to do with you
00:45:17I swear I
00:45:20Know you don't get it, but I can't live like this
00:45:26You're a great guy and
00:45:29It wasn't fair for me to make you think that I could I'm sorry
00:45:36Well
00:45:38Apology accepted I guess
00:45:41You sure yeah, I'm fine I was worried about you
00:45:46I'll be okay. Tell them Tava
00:45:56Well, I have to go
00:46:16I
00:46:32Have a bad weekend or something. No, I am I was just thinking about us and I reconsidered
00:46:40Okay, I
00:46:42Was torn between what I wanted and God. I
00:46:46Didn't think I could have both but you're not torn anymore. I think I
00:46:54Have hope that God won't cast me out for being with someone
00:47:01What if there wasn't a God
00:47:03And you spent your entire life doing things that you didn't have to do to impress an imaginary friend
00:47:08You really believe God is imagine most intellectuals in society think so
00:47:11There are other intellectuals in the world besides the ones in the u.s. And the UK
00:47:17I mean if you interviewed professors in India, they'd give you a very different answer
00:47:20It doesn't mean there look at the cognitive difference between us and insects
00:47:24You have creatures whose memory lasts a few seconds and then there's humanity that can decipher how stars function. So
00:47:32So if we're that much greater than creatures we can observe doesn't it stand to reason that they're creatures higher than us?
00:47:38Sure worthy of our worship not so much so arrogant
00:47:41Why because I don't pay senseless homage to something that could be as made up as Santa
00:47:44No, because you think there's a possibility that God exists, but you don't think it's worth our time
00:47:49I was reading the other day how a group of scientists figured out how to create matter out of light
00:47:55What why isn't that praiseworthy? Why can't humanity focus on our own accomplishments? The atheist is most happy when he gets to play God
00:48:02All cultures invent these tall tales or exaggerate things to give themselves significance
00:48:06Like what you were telling me about your tribe submersing themselves in the ocean so they could talk to ghosts
00:48:11You actually believe that?
00:48:13What if I did?
00:48:15The West declared a city of Troy was a myth until someone found it and then they had to eat their words
00:48:22The earth was flat until the West decided it was round
00:48:25Before they were forcing us to be Christians now. They want us to be agnostic
00:48:28God only exists when you say he does right?
00:48:33Those ideas and stories you're mocking are the dignity of a lot of people
00:48:39I think it's the kind of thing you make up when you have none
00:48:43This was a mistake
00:48:45Thanks for clearing it up for me
00:48:47This was a mistake, thanks for clearing it up for me
00:49:17So are you going to tell me what's wrong?
00:49:28Ara, please
00:49:30Sweetheart tell me
00:49:32I'm here for you
00:49:34I'm here for you
00:49:36I'm here for you
00:49:38I'm here for you
00:49:40I'm here for you
00:49:42I'm here for you
00:49:44I'm here for you
00:49:46I know what you're going through.
00:50:02I thought I was in love with a man I met at university too.
00:50:06Before you met my father?
00:50:08Yes.
00:50:10It's hard when you meet folks in a certain way at a certain time.
00:50:17It's like they were tailored just for you.
00:50:22What was he like?
00:50:24You know, nice and fun.
00:50:30For the first time I felt free, like I had my own life and I could do whatever I wanted.
00:50:39When did that last?
00:50:42I realised he wasn't really serious about life.
00:50:46He was more interested in going to one party after another than settling down and having a family.
00:50:54His lifestyle was unstable, just too crazy for me.
00:50:59When I came to my senses, I broke off with him.
00:51:03And soon after that, I met your father.
00:51:07And he was the right man for me.
00:51:13Did you ever hear about these couples and open relationships?
00:51:17Of course. It happens back home all the time.
00:51:20Some of the women, they just put up with it.
00:51:24Ara, are you?
00:51:27Oh, why would you be in that kind of relationship?
00:51:33He has this woman he's been seeing since before we met.
00:51:37Ara, you know that isn't right.
00:51:40I can see how unhappy you are about it.
00:51:43Ara, this is going to make you an outcast in our community.
00:51:46You know that, right?
00:51:48The men in this country, they will not understand something like that.
00:51:52They'll judge you.
00:51:55I just don't know how I got wrapped up in it.
00:51:57You can unwrap yourself.
00:52:00Oh, sweetheart, you deserve better.
00:52:06When all this fire and passion dies away, and it will,
00:52:11you'll only find true freedom and peace in Allah.
00:52:17Come in.
00:52:26You're Ben Johnson?
00:52:28Yeah. You must be Ara's mom.
00:52:32No, sir. I do not wish to shake your hand.
00:52:35Beg your pardon?
00:52:37You have been defiling my daughter, and you should make up your mind.
00:52:41I don't know what you're talking about.
00:52:42You have been with her.
00:52:44She's never been with a man before.
00:52:46You understand?
00:52:48You're ruining her for her husband.
00:52:52My daughter is a good woman,
00:52:55and she deserves to be with someone who's going to treat her with respect.
00:52:58I don't think there's anything wrong with what we did.
00:53:00If you want what's best for her, leave her alone,
00:53:03or you'll have to marry someone else.
00:53:05I don't know what you're talking about.
00:53:07If you want what's best for her, leave her alone,
00:53:10or you'll have to marry her.
00:53:13And women in Islam cannot marry outside it.
00:53:16So are you going to convert and then break up with that other friend of yours?
00:53:21Do you see yourself married to Ara?
00:53:24You heard what I asked you.
00:53:27You understand?
00:53:29You're making her an outcast in the community if this continues.
00:53:34She'll have trouble finding a good husband, and for what?
00:53:37So you can feel like a big man?
00:53:41If you don't have honorable intentions for her,
00:53:44then leave her alone and let someone who deserves her step up.
00:54:05Hey.
00:54:07I hate to just drop in on you like this.
00:54:10It's okay.
00:54:12Look, I know you're busy, but have you seen Gabrielle today?
00:54:16No, it's been a couple of days.
00:54:19Not worried?
00:54:21No, she does this all the time. She's probably with her folks.
00:54:24She hadn't been returning my calls, and I just got worried.
00:54:27Anyways, I'll see you later.
00:54:30She hadn't been returning my calls, and I just got worried.
00:54:33Anyways, I just want to make sure she's all right.
00:54:36You sure she's okay?
00:54:42Is there something else on your mind, man?
00:54:51Do you love her?
00:54:54I don't know.
00:54:56Right. That's a no.
00:54:58What is love?
00:55:00Jesus. I'm talking to a damn philosopher.
00:55:02I'm not being facetious. How do you know you're in love with someone?
00:55:05I can't stop thinking about her.
00:55:08I go crazy when she's gone. I go crazy when she's over here.
00:55:12I have never felt like this with another woman.
00:55:15Yeah?
00:55:17We're together. It just feels...
00:55:20It feels dangerous.
00:55:22Right.
00:55:25Same way?
00:55:28No.
00:55:30With Gabrielle, it's comfortable and easy, but...
00:55:33No.
00:55:35The plants don't align.
00:55:37What about with the other woman you're seeing?
00:55:42In a weird way, yeah.
00:55:44There's your answer, man.
00:55:47Do the right thing. Make us all happy.
00:55:50I think she should move in with me.
00:56:20I love you.
00:56:50I love you.
00:57:20Hey. I am so sorry I was such an ass.
00:57:23Can you forgive me, please?
00:57:26I'm sorry.
00:57:28Sorry.
00:57:50You're better than this. You know that.
00:57:53Mom, I just need some time alone with him to figure some things out.
00:57:57Have you thought about the example you're setting for Mohammed and Miriam?
00:58:01Did you tell them?
00:58:04No.
00:58:06Are you going to marry this man? Have children with him?
00:58:14Mom, I love you, but I have to go.
00:58:21How are you feeling after your day?
00:58:24Good.
00:58:27That's good.
00:58:30Are you still talking to Gabrielle?
00:58:33No.
00:58:36That's good.
00:58:39Are you still talking to Gabrielle?
00:58:42No.
00:58:45That's good.
00:58:49Did you love her?
00:58:52There were times when I thought I did.
00:58:55Being with her was comforting, easy.
00:58:59But we, uh...
00:59:02We didn't fit in a lot of ways, and I felt guilty for not making it fit.
00:59:06I was afraid of being alone, I guess.
00:59:09Why?
00:59:12Ever since I moved out of my mom's house, I always had to have a woman around me.
00:59:18It was ironic.
00:59:21I was afraid of committing myself.
00:59:24It felt like the beginning of death.
00:59:27I thought love would step in and solve everything, but...
00:59:32What is love?
00:59:48I love you.
01:00:01You believe God hears all your prayers?
01:00:04Of course.
01:00:06You think it's crazy, I know.
01:00:08No, actually, I'm a little jealous.
01:00:11Why would that make you jealous?
01:00:13Because it's something I can't experience.
01:00:16I need evidence for everything.
01:00:19The fact that you're so sure without it makes me a little jealous.
01:00:23You've never thought there was a God?
01:00:26I thought there could be one once.
01:00:29When?
01:00:31This one time when I was thinking about the origins of everything.
01:00:34Like the universe.
01:00:37What do you think about the soul?
01:00:39I don't know.
01:00:41Define it, and I will tell you what I think about it.
01:00:44It's your immaterial essence.
01:00:47The you-ness of you.
01:00:49Like a part of you that's separate from your body?
01:00:52Yeah.
01:00:54Sounds like a nice idea.
01:00:57Makes me wish I had one.
01:00:59You have a soul, silly.
01:01:01I'm just for auto.
01:01:03I'm just for auto.
01:01:06I'm going to have some friends over tomorrow.
01:01:08Is that okay?
01:01:10Okay.
01:01:12You sure?
01:01:14Yeah, I'm fine.
01:01:16They want to meet you.
01:01:18Go, shot.
01:01:22All right, all right, all right.
01:01:27Okay, um, black horses.
01:01:29Five.
01:01:31Twelve.
01:01:33Five.
01:01:35Twelve.
01:01:37Come on.
01:01:39Checkmate.
01:01:41That's on you.
01:01:43Fuck you, asshole.
01:01:45Come on.
01:01:47Mm-hmm.
01:01:49Hey!
01:01:51How are you?
01:01:53No.
01:01:55That's bullshit.
01:01:57It's not.
01:01:59Are you even listening?
01:02:01It's complete and utter bullshit.
01:02:03No, it's not.
01:02:05You're telling me with a straight face
01:02:07that the sexual revolution didn't liberate women.
01:02:09What I'm saying is that women as a group
01:02:12stopped paying attention to who they gave it up to.
01:02:15That's caused us to be objectified more, that's all.
01:02:18It's true.
01:02:20We don't usually say no if it's awkward.
01:02:23But why shouldn't a woman fuck whoever she wants to fuck?
01:02:26Because we're the ones who get stuck with the kids
01:02:28when the asshole runs.
01:02:31Like you.
01:02:33You wouldn't want to have a baby with some random dude, would you?
01:03:01Good morning.
01:03:03Sorry to interrupt.
01:03:05That's okay.
01:03:07You all done?
01:03:09Yeah.
01:03:11Good.
01:03:13Every morning, right?
01:03:15Yeah.
01:03:17How are you?
01:03:19Good.
01:03:21How are you?
01:03:23Good.
01:03:25How are you?
01:03:27Good.
01:03:30Did you have fun last night?
01:03:32Yeah, it wasn't bad.
01:03:36It was kind of awkward for you.
01:03:38Sorry.
01:03:40A little bit.
01:03:42My friends drink a lot, sorry.
01:03:44Yeah.
01:03:46Yeah.
01:03:48The girls were pretty funny.
01:03:50They were talking about what kind of man
01:03:52they'd want to have kids with.
01:03:54God.
01:03:56You ever want kids?
01:03:59One day, yeah.
01:04:01It'd be a nightmare now, though.
01:04:03Geez.
01:04:05Why would it be a nightmare?
01:04:07Take over your life.
01:04:09Tie you down to some screaming spawn.
01:04:11Well, you were a screaming spawn once, too, you know.
01:04:14Yeah.
01:04:16It drove my dad nuts.
01:04:20I think it's partly why he was such a psycho.
01:04:23One half PTSD, the other half unwanted children.
01:04:27He won all these medals
01:04:29in the Air Force for leadership,
01:04:31so it couldn't have been the stress.
01:04:36He used to throw glasses at my head.
01:04:39Crazy shit.
01:04:43I honestly think that if he would have had
01:04:46just the room to be himself,
01:04:48he could have been a better man.
01:04:57You busy today?
01:04:59I'm having a meeting with my advisor.
01:05:01You?
01:05:03I was going to work on my dissertation.
01:05:05Okay.
01:05:07I'm going to be late.
01:05:09Okay.
01:05:11Don't clean, okay?
01:05:13Okay.
01:05:27MUSIC PLAYS
01:05:30MUSIC STOPS
01:05:55Ara, can we talk to you?
01:06:00This isn't the answer.
01:06:02I love you.
01:06:04Allah loves you.
01:06:06Mom.
01:06:08Is this what you want?
01:06:10Are you really happy like this?
01:06:12Mom, you know I love you.
01:06:16This is just something I need to figure out on my own.
01:06:21I will wait on you forever.
01:06:30Do the right thing, Ara.
01:06:36Well, I don't know how you did it,
01:06:38but this looks ready to defend.
01:06:41Not bad, huh?
01:06:43It's good.
01:06:45It's thoughtful, well-written.
01:06:48What happened?
01:06:50I'm serious.
01:06:52This is a world away from your last draft.
01:06:55Yeah, I guess it is.
01:06:57There go my question.
01:06:59What happened?
01:07:28MUSIC STOPS
01:07:42Do the right thing, Ara.
01:07:57MUSIC CONTINUES
01:08:27MUSIC STOPS
01:08:43Hi.
01:08:45Hey.
01:08:46So, uh, how did your meeting go?
01:08:48Great.
01:08:50All I have to do is defend now.
01:08:52Hmm.
01:08:54Well, um, I have some good news.
01:08:56I got accepted into Georgetown Law.
01:08:58Wow.
01:09:00Congrats.
01:09:02Thank you.
01:09:03It was the first school that I applied to.
01:09:06So you're moving there after the summer?
01:09:08Right after graduation, actually.
01:09:10You didn't tell me you were applying.
01:09:12Hmm, yeah, well,
01:09:14I'm probably going to be heading there in May
01:09:16because I want to get a lay of the land
01:09:18before the fall semester starts.
01:09:20And, um, well,
01:09:23I wanted to see if you would come with me.
01:09:26I, uh...
01:09:28I'm pregnant.
01:09:34Are you sure?
01:09:36Yep.
01:09:38I missed my period and I went to the doctor
01:09:40and I got the call today.
01:09:44I'm keeping the baby.
01:09:47I'm not saying this to be an ass,
01:09:49but are you sure it's mine?
01:09:51Yes, I am sure it's yours.
01:09:53You are the only one that I have had
01:09:55unprotected sex with.
01:09:58You know, I just assumed that you would
01:10:02want to be involved in the life of your child.
01:10:05No, I mean, you're right.
01:10:08I'm just processing this.
01:10:17♪♪♪
01:10:25It's getting chilly out here.
01:10:27Yeah, I know.
01:10:31Oh, it's Ben.
01:10:33Oh, Ben.
01:10:35Hi, Ben.
01:10:37What's going on, stranger?
01:10:39I've missed talking to you.
01:10:41It's been a while.
01:10:43Lana says hi and that she loves you.
01:10:45I missed you all.
01:10:47Sorry, I've been busy
01:10:49getting my dissertation together.
01:10:51How's it coming?
01:10:53It's ready to go.
01:10:55Are you all right, Benny?
01:10:57Your voice sounds strange.
01:10:59Yeah, I haven't been too careful here lately.
01:11:03Gabrielle's pregnant.
01:11:05Oh, wow.
01:11:07Crazy, huh?
01:11:09How do you feel about this?
01:11:12I am shaken up.
01:11:17She's going to Georgetown in the fall.
01:11:20She wants me to come with her.
01:11:22And you don't want to?
01:11:25No.
01:11:27There's someone else.
01:11:29Someone else? Benny, this is soap opera stuff.
01:11:32We have an open relationship.
01:11:34I'm an idiot for getting myself into this.
01:11:37Gabrielle, she and I,
01:11:39we were just good for the time being, you know.
01:11:42I finally met this other girl
01:11:45who I have a real connection with,
01:11:48and I just think I ruined it, just like Dad.
01:11:52Ben, Ben, Benjamin,
01:11:54you couldn't be like that man if you tried.
01:11:58Do you want to live the rest of your life with Gabrielle?
01:12:03No, no.
01:12:06Well, could you be a good father
01:12:09if you weren't living with her?
01:12:12Yeah.
01:12:14Well, it sounds to me like you've answered your own question.
01:12:22Hey.
01:12:24Hey, how'd your day go?
01:12:26Not bad.
01:12:28I didn't mean for you to clean all of this.
01:12:30It's okay.
01:12:32I said I'd clean.
01:12:35Awesome.
01:12:38You're too good to me.
01:12:40You shouldn't have to take care of my mess.
01:12:42I work better when things are clean.
01:12:44You hungry?
01:12:46Yeah, if it sounds good.
01:12:53Hey, there's something I've got to tell you.
01:12:56Something wrong?
01:12:58Yeah.
01:13:00I had a weird day today.
01:13:02What is it?
01:13:04I don't know how to tell you this.
01:13:08What?
01:13:10Gabrielle's pregnant.
01:13:17I just found out today.
01:13:20Listen, I'm going to tell her that even with the baby,
01:13:23I'm still going to be with you.
01:13:26I'm still going to be with you.
01:13:33R.
01:13:35Can you listen?
01:13:37Fuck.
01:13:39I didn't do this on purpose.
01:13:41Can you give me the dignity of listening to me for a second?
01:13:51I need you to listen to me.
01:13:56I...
01:14:27It's very early in your first trimester,
01:14:29so you have lots of options.
01:14:33I have an opening as early as next Wednesday.
01:14:37Will it hurt?
01:14:39Some women have pain like cramps during the procedure,
01:14:42but it's very safe.
01:14:47But you don't have to make it so bad.
01:14:50It's not that bad.
01:14:54But you don't have to make a decision today.
01:15:17Hi.
01:15:19I talked to your mom.
01:15:21She's worried about you.
01:15:24I figured as much.
01:15:26I've been worried about you, too.
01:15:29Is there anything I can do?
01:15:34I don't think anyone can help me now.
01:15:37Laura, my father and I have been pushy.
01:15:40I'm sorry for that.
01:15:43Look, I don't care what's happened.
01:15:46I want to help you if you'll let me.
01:15:51Professors, thank you for your time here today.
01:15:55My dissertation focuses on the tenets of Calvinism
01:15:58and how that philosophy spread across Western Europe
01:16:01and affected the politics and culture.
01:16:03And contrary to statistics,
01:16:05Cameroonian philosophies still thrive within Christianity,
01:16:09much like the cult of Isis survives within Roman Catholicism
01:16:13as the veneration of Mary.
01:16:15That was brilliant, Ara.
01:16:17Thank you.
01:16:18Congratulations on a remarkable defense and on your engagement.
01:16:22Thank you.
01:16:23So will you be Dr. Jalali?
01:16:26No, I'm choosing to take my husband's name.
01:16:32You can just have a seat over there.
01:16:49How'd it go in there?
01:16:51I did okay.
01:16:54You?
01:16:57I'm pretty sure I passed.
01:16:59You think so?
01:17:03If I would have done this a month ago, I would have said no.
01:17:07You?
01:17:10I passed, I think.
01:17:12Congratulations.
01:17:19I heard you got engaged.
01:17:22Yeah.
01:17:26Congrats.
01:17:29Thanks.
01:17:33What are you going to do after this?
01:17:36Move to D.C. to be near Gabrielle.
01:17:39I'll watch up there.
01:17:45Well, I hope you two are happy.
01:17:50Ben?
01:17:51Ara.
01:17:56Hey, listen, I just want to say...
01:17:59No, Ben.
01:18:01Not here.
01:18:03They're ready for you, Ben.
01:18:09I love you.
01:18:28What were you going to write about?
01:18:31Spinoza and the ripples in the universe.
01:18:35About how everything that is or will be are all like ripples in a pond.
01:18:39All outside our control and nothing can change them.
01:18:44Do you believe that?
01:19:05In the trees
01:19:08I see the leaves
01:19:11Shiver in the breeze
01:19:15And the stone
01:19:18So carelessly thrown
01:19:22Will change the surface
01:19:25Of the water as we've known
01:19:30I see stars
01:19:33Standing my ground
01:19:36They've shifted light
01:19:40They've moved around
01:19:44My dimming sight
01:19:47Oh, sweet time
01:19:51When I was yours and you were mine
01:19:59Fate's a cold face
01:20:02She stares unmoved
01:20:06As we make our plans and do the things we do
01:20:13But how we tempted her
01:20:16Until the end
01:20:20And though we loved and lost
01:20:23I'd do it all again
01:20:27Since the start
01:20:31Since the fall
01:20:34There's someone trying to make sense out of it all
01:20:41It seems a waste
01:20:44To give the tools to till the land
01:20:49Then turn around
01:20:51And take the harvest from our hands
01:20:56Fate's a cold face
01:21:00She stares unmoved
01:21:04As we make our plans and do the things we do
01:21:11And how we tempted her
01:21:15Until the end
01:21:18And though we loved and lost
01:21:21I'd do it all again
01:21:30© transcript Emily Beynon
01:22:00© transcript Emily Beynon
01:22:30© transcript Emily Beynon
01:23:00© transcript Emily Beynon
01:23:30© transcript Emily Beynon