idle hands
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:01:00You
00:01:30You
00:02:00You
00:02:30You
00:02:36Did you blow the candles out downstairs
00:02:41Yeah
00:02:44Look at this a Thanksgiving cornucopia made out of pie plates and spackle. What the heck is a cornucopia?
00:02:52It's like a horn of plenty. Oh
00:02:54Oh dear, can it wait we just finished decorating for Halloween
00:03:25Oh
00:03:42Just a prank that's all
00:03:45Anton
00:03:46Anton
00:03:47Our little scooter would never do something like that. We're calling him that baby name
00:03:53Anton would not scooters behind off the couch if the house was on fire. God knows. He didn't help me with a Halloween decorations
00:04:05Did you hear that I heard something downstairs
00:04:08The dogs out in the yard
00:04:11it's
00:04:12Probably just a cat
00:04:23I
00:04:53I
00:05:23I
00:05:53I
00:06:23Burned down
00:06:53Oh
00:07:23You
00:07:53I
00:08:23I
00:08:53I
00:09:01Murder a moment a special report four bodies have been discovered to date and the killer is still at large
00:09:07Bowling has been gripped with fear as the killings have spread from a local postal route to the bowling alley and now to our own
00:09:14Burger jungle with Halloween only one day away
00:09:17Officials have said at 9 p.m. Perfect for all teenagers
00:09:24Oh
00:09:44Yeah, hey, what's up, man?
00:09:47I'm dry
00:09:49so
00:09:50So why don't you bring me over a dimer?
00:09:52It's ain't dominoes. You lazy bitch. Come over here and get it. Come on, man. I'm comfortable
00:09:59Hello
00:10:19Stop Anton
00:10:23I
00:10:35Yeah, if your mama teased you and suck dick so well, what's your point?
00:10:42Sup Anton
00:10:46Nice boxers
00:10:49That's chronic, oh
00:10:51I'm sorry, man. This money's cash
00:10:54So I came all the way over here. You said you was holding I
00:10:57Didn't say what I was holding
00:11:05That's messed up man, I hear if you combine nutmeg and oregano you can get pretty wasted
00:11:12Anton all you do is smoke pot and watch TV all day. Don't get me wrong. That's what life is all about
00:11:17but
00:11:18Don't you think you should have some ambition like a goal?
00:11:22Yeah, I mean my dream life would be
00:11:26To lie around all day in bed and watch TV. Well, somehow broad delays me food and shit
00:11:31Yeah, until your parents kick your oily ass out. I
00:11:35Haven't seen my parents in a couple of days
00:11:37Maybe they're dead
00:11:39Party at Anton's. What are you doing? I'm just saying with the killer on the loose. You can't rule out murder
00:11:44What killer?
00:11:46Don't you watch the news?
00:11:48Hate that fucking show. Oh, man
00:11:50Our little town is in the national spotlight local mailman iced bar made at the bowling alley iced
00:11:57And don't tell me you haven't heard about the Feldstein twins
00:11:59What they got caught jerking off in the milkshake maker again ice times two last night when they're working the drive-thru at the burger jungle
00:12:07damn
00:12:11Anton here comes your woman
00:12:14He's got serious problems
00:12:26Molly's lived across the street from you for like what ever
00:12:30Why don't you go tell her about your disturbing obsession with him? You could start by telling her your name. Yeah, man
00:12:35She's waiting for you
00:12:37No, she's not waiting for me. Would you stop being such a puss and go like ask her the dance?
00:12:43Dance. Well, if you've been to school in the last six months, you'd know about it
00:12:48Halloween thing in the gym nine o'clock curfew. No trick-or-treating allowed
00:12:52Dumbass dance is the only option you guys going. Yeah. No, can you see us dressing up with some stupid ass costumes?
00:12:59grooving to Hanson and
00:13:01total losers
00:13:06See your point
00:13:09I
00:13:10Man, she dropped her lyrics book. Hey, she's gonna catch you reading that shit over her shoulder in biology class
00:13:16Her songs are badass man. She's like a powder or something
00:13:19Go bring it back to her be like a knight in shining armor. Oh
00:13:24Yeah, she'd be all grateful. She'd invite me and she'd offer me a drink
00:13:27I'd accept and she'd rip your clothes off and make sweet love to you red shoe diary style
00:13:34All right could happen
00:13:37Just go talk to her man, maybe she'll think you're funny or something
00:13:43Know what?
00:13:47Hey, you want to borrow some pants chief first impressions and all your bud
00:13:56He's gonna do it no
00:13:59I
00:14:04Didn't cheese
00:14:09Look at what I found. I thought you were dry. I guess not
00:14:16Fire me up
00:14:28I
00:14:53They're great
00:14:58I
00:15:11My book, thank you so much for returning it. Hey
00:15:21Hey, hey
00:15:28Oh
00:15:40You're quite certain that this is the right man
00:15:44I'll tell you sister liquor. That's liqueur
00:15:49Debbie's fine. All right sister Debbie
00:15:58I
00:16:10Didn't come
00:16:28Beaver
00:16:58Oh
00:17:28I
00:17:45Move roll over roll over
00:17:53Anton Tobias you got a reason for prowling around this neighborhood
00:17:58Yeah, I live here since what is it against a lot of grocery shop?
00:18:02Hey, I know you guys. Yeah, you guys were seniors when I was a freshman. Yeah, let's talk about high school Anton
00:18:09Yeah, you and all your stoner friends zipping around on your skateboards. Thought you were too cool for us, huh?
00:18:15Did you ever even once invite us to get high behind the gym?
00:18:19You were dorks
00:18:22Oh
00:18:27Either you guys holding what?
00:18:29Look, I'm desperate. I mean, I know you guys didn't get in the evidence room. So I've seen you asshole
00:18:35You you're trying to score from a cop. That's it complete personal effects search
00:18:40Yeah
00:18:43What the hell is this stupid that's an asthma inhaler don't you know anything
00:18:47Empty your pockets boy. Yeah, nice try but they're not even my pants. Let's go
00:18:58George found a new home
00:19:05Officer
00:19:08Smells like marijuana to me
00:19:10It's empty. Hey, I know my rights you can't cite me for possession of a baggie
00:19:17Littering maximum fine
00:19:22$200
00:19:40I
00:20:10Did
00:20:40You
00:21:10I
00:21:40Oh
00:21:58Shit killers goes to my house
00:22:10I
00:22:12I
00:22:43It's gonna be fine
00:22:54Okay
00:23:08All right
00:23:12Oh
00:23:42Oh
00:24:12Oh
00:24:15Oh
00:24:40It's about a cheap batch rooms you got a fever
00:24:44I'm going to show you.
00:24:45Hey, hey, hey.
00:24:46All right.
00:24:47All right.
00:24:48Fuck that Gucci.
00:24:49Hey, fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:24:54Whoa.
00:24:55Oh, man.
00:24:56Yeah.
00:24:59I love this video.
00:25:00I didn't think they could show it anymore.
00:25:01Yeah.
00:25:02You ain't heard?
00:25:03Messing with niggas.
00:25:04Gonna get served.
00:25:05See, none of my girls, they can never keep up.
00:25:06Hey, Dickhead.
00:25:07Someone killed my parents.
00:25:08Shh.
00:25:09This is the best part, dude.
00:25:10Fuck that Gucci.
00:25:11Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:12Oh, yeah.
00:25:13Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:14Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:15Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:16Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:17Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:18Fuck that Gucci, baby.
00:25:19Hey.
00:25:20Look.
00:25:21Shit.
00:25:22Now you see?
00:25:23Huh?
00:25:24Mr. Tobias?
00:25:25Miss T?
00:25:26Is this like some kind of Halloween gag or something?
00:25:36I mean, your parents always go all out.
00:25:37What the fuck are you doing, man?
00:25:38That's my dad.
00:25:40What the fuck are you doing, man?
00:25:41That's my dad.
00:25:42Come on.
00:25:43CPR, man.
00:25:44I saw it on Baywatch.
00:25:45Hey.
00:25:46Check it out.
00:25:47A clue.
00:25:48Hey.
00:25:49Hey.
00:25:50Hey.
00:25:51Hey.
00:25:52Hey.
00:25:53Hey.
00:25:54Hey.
00:25:55Hey.
00:25:56Hey.
00:25:57Hey.
00:25:58Hey.
00:25:59Hey.
00:26:00Hey.
00:26:01Hey.
00:26:02Hey.
00:26:03Hey.
00:26:04Hey.
00:26:05Hey.
00:26:06Hey.
00:26:07Hey.
00:26:08Hey.
00:26:09Hey.
00:26:10Hey.
00:26:11Hey.
00:26:12Hey.
00:26:13Hey.
00:26:14Hey.
00:26:15Hey.
00:26:16Hey.
00:26:17Hey.
00:26:18Hey.
00:26:19Hey.
00:26:20Hey.
00:26:21Hey.
00:26:22Hey.
00:26:23Hey.
00:26:24Hey.
00:26:25Hey.
00:26:26Hey.
00:26:27Hey.
00:26:28Hey.
00:26:29Hey.
00:26:30Hey.
00:26:31Hey.
00:26:32Hey.
00:26:33Hey.
00:26:34Hey.
00:26:35Hey.
00:26:36Hey.
00:26:37Hey.
00:26:38Hey.
00:26:39Hey.
00:26:40Hey.
00:26:41Hey.
00:26:42Hey.
00:26:43Hey.
00:26:44Hey.
00:26:45Hey.
00:26:46Hey.
00:26:47Hey.
00:26:48Hey.
00:26:49Hey.
00:26:50Hey.
00:26:51Hey.
00:26:52Hey.
00:26:53Hey.
00:26:54Hey.
00:26:55Hey.
00:26:56Hey.
00:26:57Hey.
00:26:58Hey.
00:26:59Hey.
00:27:00Hey.
00:27:01Hey.
00:27:02Hey.
00:27:03Hey.
00:27:04Hey.
00:27:05Hey.
00:27:06Hey.
00:27:07Wait.
00:27:08Hey.
00:27:09Allestein twins.
00:27:10Hey.
00:27:11Wait.
00:27:12Hey.
00:27:13Hey.
00:27:14Wait.
00:27:15Hey.
00:27:16Hey.
00:27:17Wait.
00:27:18Hey.
00:27:19Wait.
00:27:20The killer was wearing your shirt.
00:27:21Hey.
00:27:21Hey.
00:27:26The killer was wearing me.
00:27:27Hey.
00:27:28Hey.
00:27:29Hey.
00:27:30Hey.
00:27:31Hey.
00:27:32Hey.
00:27:33Hey.
00:27:34Hey.
00:27:35I'm the killer.
00:27:39I'm gonna call 9-1-1.
00:27:43What's the number?
00:27:47Yeah.
00:27:51Hi. Yeah, there's something wrong with my friend.
00:27:55I think he took some nutmeg or something.
00:27:59Yeah.
00:28:03Yeah. Buddy, I would remember something like that, you know?
00:28:07I'm not the killer, you know?
00:28:11Yeah, I know, but if OJ could get off, then I'm sure...
00:28:15Do you want a beer? No, thanks.
00:28:19Are you sure?
00:28:23Whoa.
00:28:27Mick!
00:28:31Mick!
00:28:35Hey, Mick. Mick! Talk to me!
00:28:39What the hell's happening to me?
00:28:51Oh, man, I... I didn't do it.
00:28:55Okay. Okay, I did it.
00:28:59All right? But it was an accident. I can't believe you told me to smoke that shit!
00:29:03Okay, Anton. I have to leave now.
00:29:07Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
00:29:25Vlad?
00:29:29At the basement! You can't get out that way!
00:29:43What are you doing this, Anton?
00:29:47I don't know!
00:29:51I know who you are. I don't want to hurt you.
00:29:55Then don't!
00:29:59It's not me. It's my hand. It's like...
00:30:03It's like I have no control over my hand.
00:30:07I don't know how much longer I can hold this.
00:30:11Run! I will! Get out of my way!
00:30:15Just go!
00:30:19I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
00:30:23Everything's gonna be cool, man. Everything's gonna be...
00:30:37Cool.
00:30:41Vlad!
00:30:49Vlad!
00:31:19What have I done?
00:31:23What have I done?
00:31:35It's just me.
00:31:39It's just me.
00:31:49Get back!
00:31:53Stay off play, boys!
00:31:57Right now!
00:32:01Get out of here, Bones!
00:32:21Shit!
00:32:24Ha ha ha ha...
00:32:27Ha!
00:32:40Bones?
00:32:46Bones!
00:32:49Bones!
00:32:51Here kitty kitty kitty...
00:32:53Here, get it. Get it. Get it. Get it.
00:33:23Aren't you a little old for ding-dong ditch?
00:33:28Sorry about your bush.
00:33:34No problem.
00:33:39What were you doing out there anyways?
00:33:42Just to think...
00:33:47Jesus, look at you.
00:33:51Yeah.
00:33:53I was looking for my cat.
00:33:55We got in a fight.
00:33:57You sure got your ass kicked.
00:34:00I did okay.
00:34:03So you ran and hit in my butt?
00:34:09Molly, I shouldn't be here.
00:34:12I'm not myself today.
00:34:15In fact, I'm someone completely different.
00:34:18You're so shy.
00:34:20Look, it's okay. I get it.
00:34:22So why don't we just skip this chickening out, sneaking around stage?
00:34:25No, no, no. You don't understand.
00:34:27I'm a demon.
00:34:33Do you want to come inside for a second and talk?
00:34:35Yeah?
00:34:37Okay.
00:34:39Let's go.
00:34:46You never gave me a chance to thank you earlier.
00:34:48That book is really important to me.
00:34:55So...
00:34:57Nothing cooler than a chick bass guitar player.
00:35:01Especially one that writes her own lyrics.
00:35:03You read them?
00:35:06I couldn't help looking in the book.
00:35:08They're amazing, you know.
00:35:10Look, I even got my favorites memorized.
00:35:13Devil girl with nothing to lose
00:35:15She got wind in her hair and gum on her shoes
00:35:22I was like 13 when I wrote that.
00:35:25Oh, well.
00:35:27They're amazing.
00:35:28Thanks.
00:35:36I should not be here, Molly.
00:35:38It's safer in here than on the streets.
00:35:40Don't you know there's a killer out there?
00:35:44That's what I'm saying.
00:35:46That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm dangerous.
00:35:48Oh, yeah?
00:35:50How dangerous?
00:35:54I'm not kidding.
00:35:56I've done stuff.
00:35:58I've killed people.
00:36:00I've killed people.
00:36:02I've killed people.
00:36:04I've done stuff, you know?
00:36:16I'm impressed.
00:36:19I never would have thought you'd have the balls
00:36:21to just grab me like that.
00:36:24Me neither.
00:36:34Take a night and wonder why
00:36:38So long, my love
00:36:42This is the last night
00:36:44This time there's no more
00:36:47There's nothing to pretend
00:36:50How do you feel?
00:36:53You need to tell someone
00:36:56Ah!
00:37:18You're kinky.
00:37:22Me?
00:37:26When you stand at the door
00:37:32How do you feel?
00:37:40Move it, people! Let's go!
00:37:43Some of us are on serious missions here.
00:37:46There's evil out there, and I gotta kick its ass!
00:37:57Shit, my parents are home.
00:37:59I'll have to pick this up later, because my parents
00:38:01might take offense to some dirty, bloody boy thing
00:38:04and their daughter.
00:38:05Tomorrow?
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07You wanna see me again?
00:38:08Come by around seven.
00:38:10The curfew's annihilated most of our options,
00:38:12but maybe we can swing by the dance.
00:38:14Yeah.
00:38:15I thought you said the streets weren't safe.
00:38:19I'll protect you.
00:38:27Come on.
00:38:49Dearly beloved,
00:38:51we're gathered here today because you're all dead.
00:38:55And it's my fault.
00:38:58Mom, Dad,
00:39:01what can I say? I mean,
00:39:04you brought me into this world,
00:39:06you put a roof over my head,
00:39:08you fed me until I killed you.
00:39:12So I guess if you look at it that way,
00:39:14I haven't been a good son, but I'm really,
00:39:17really, really sorry.
00:39:19And wherever you are,
00:39:22I just want you to forgive me, because
00:39:25I'm gonna try to change.
00:39:33Mick, Penob, guys,
00:39:37you guys were the greatest.
00:39:39I mean, I'm never gonna forget the way we
00:39:41sat around all day,
00:39:43watched TV and got really stoned.
00:39:47And all those other times where we just...
00:39:53I guess that's all we did.
00:40:01Aw, man.
00:40:14Mick?
00:40:16Over here.
00:40:20Anton, help me.
00:40:23Come on, man, I can't breathe down here.
00:40:30Anton?
00:40:33Anton, can you hear me?
00:40:35Mick?
00:40:37Yeah, man, Mick. Now get me out of here.
00:40:41You're dead.
00:40:43No, I'm not. You cracked me on the head pretty good.
00:40:45I must have been unconscious.
00:40:49You think?
00:40:50I know, fucker. Now dig me up.
00:41:02Say what you want, Mick. Mick.
00:41:19Come on.
00:41:29Come on.
00:41:32Mick.
00:41:46Please don't kill me.
00:41:48Hey!
00:41:50Watch it, man.
00:42:02What'd I take last night?
00:42:06That dream was intense.
00:42:10Intense.
00:42:18Check it out.
00:42:20Yeah, I'm gonna check it out.
00:42:22Check it out.
00:42:24Check it out.
00:42:26Check it out.
00:42:28Check it out.
00:42:30Yeah, I'm watching.
00:42:32Did you see?
00:42:33Guys!
00:42:34That's funny.
00:42:35Thank God you're alive,
00:42:36because I had this crazy dream that I, like, killed...
00:42:41Hey.
00:42:44Oh, shit!
00:42:49Hey, sorry about that thing with the shovel.
00:42:51You're dead.
00:42:53Easy, tiger. Undead, actually.
00:42:56You said you were just unconscious. You lied to me.
00:42:58Hey, you killed me.
00:43:00All right? Try and keep this thing in perspective.
00:43:02Yeah, I was a little bitter about the whole
00:43:04getting killed by my best friend thing,
00:43:06but I've had time to get over it.
00:43:20So, why are you here?
00:43:22We need a place to kick it.
00:43:24Don't be selfish, Chantal.
00:43:26No one else's parents are dead.
00:43:28No, no, no, no, not why are you here.
00:43:30I mean, what, are you guys, like,
00:43:32flesh-eating zombies, back from hell,
00:43:34ready to do exact revenge? Is that it?
00:43:36Why would we go to hell?
00:43:38Duh. We're not bad.
00:43:40It's not like we're good or anything,
00:43:42but at least you don't go around killing people.
00:43:44Hey, I didn't kill anybody on purpose, okay?
00:43:46Yeah, well, we weren't in hell.
00:43:48I mean, there was this big, bright white light
00:43:50at the end of a long tunnel, right?
00:43:52And there were these chicks' voices,
00:43:54and that music.
00:43:56Music?
00:43:58Yeah, kind of uncool music, like Enya.
00:44:00And these chicks' voices, they were saying,
00:44:02come to us, come towards the light.
00:44:04Whoo!
00:44:06So, what happened?
00:44:08Oh, we figured, fuck it.
00:44:10I mean, it was really far.
00:44:18Anton, I've got to ask, what's with the hand?
00:44:22It doesn't obey me at all.
00:44:24It's the only thing I can come up with.
00:44:26It's got to be possessed.
00:44:28Hmm.
00:44:30Do you guys know anything about Satan?
00:44:32Or evil?
00:44:34No.
00:44:36But we know somebody who does.
00:44:52Yeah.
00:45:10Did you know them well?
00:45:12Not really.
00:45:14You?
00:45:16Yeah, they were great.
00:45:18I just feel
00:45:20really bad, you know?
00:45:22Because I was always so mean to them.
00:45:24Like this one time,
00:45:26they asked me to go out on a double date,
00:45:28and I thought they were
00:45:30tarts, because there's only one of me,
00:45:32right?
00:45:34So I told them to go blow each other.
00:45:36Wow.
00:45:40Did they?
00:45:46Oh, the way you treated them,
00:45:48guilt must be making you feel
00:45:50like shit inside, right?
00:45:52Randy!
00:45:54You're still in high school?
00:45:56Yeah, me, I got out about three years ago.
00:45:58Randy! I need your help.
00:46:00What are you playing, a little
00:46:02two-ball there, bud?
00:46:04Look, I've got to talk to you.
00:46:06This is some serious stuff going on.
00:46:08Hey, Anton, can't you see I'm getting
00:46:10a little action over here?
00:46:12Oh, man.
00:46:14I can't believe you
00:46:16cock-blocked me like that.
00:46:18I thought we were buds.
00:46:20Randy, wait!
00:46:22I didn't mean to mess you up, Randy.
00:46:24Listen, I need your help.
00:46:26Hey!
00:46:28Hey!
00:46:30Get off!
00:46:34Randy!
00:46:42Randy!
00:46:54Who are you?
00:46:56New. Drive-thru duty.
00:47:00Sorry.
00:47:12Break time.
00:47:14All right.
00:47:16Yeah, give me the big five with the spicy
00:47:18safari fries, the African
00:47:20apple turnover, and the raspberry
00:47:22rainforest shake. Slap some
00:47:24extra mustard on that jungle burger for me, will you?
00:47:26Tell me everything you know about the devil.
00:47:28Anton?
00:47:30Are you out of your fucking mind?
00:47:32You listen to that
00:47:34satanic music all the time. You must have picked up
00:47:36something on the guy.
00:47:38Look, it's just music.
00:47:40Like Mozart
00:47:42and that other fag.
00:47:44Let's keep it clean.
00:47:46Who, uh, Beethoven?
00:47:48Yeah, yeah, that's the guy.
00:47:50Look, it's just like their music, only louder.
00:47:52You gotta know something. I'm desperate.
00:47:54Oh, man.
00:47:58Damn!
00:48:04It's my hand, okay?
00:48:06It's like it's got a mind of its own.
00:48:08It makes me do things I don't want it to do.
00:48:10Oh, yeah, man? I used to be like that.
00:48:12Get into all kinds
00:48:14of stupid shit.
00:48:16Look, the trick is to keep yourself
00:48:18busy. That's why I'm always working
00:48:20on the Ford.
00:48:22Keeps me out of trouble.
00:48:24Idle hands are the devil's
00:48:26playground.
00:48:28Keep my hands busy?
00:48:30Yeah, that actually makes sense.
00:48:32Thanks, Randy. You're the coolest.
00:48:38Slippin' through the trees
00:48:40Strangling the breeze
00:48:46Yeah, I am the sky
00:48:48Watching angels crash
00:48:50So, what, are you, like, knit now?
00:48:52Don't take this the wrong way, Anton, but you look
00:48:54really queer doing that.
00:48:56Randy broke it down for me.
00:48:58Idle hands are the devil's playpen, so I'm thinking,
00:49:00you know,
00:49:02keep my hands occupied, right?
00:49:04Oh, man, that saying's not
00:49:06literal. It's more like, uh,
00:49:08you know,
00:49:10metaphorical?
00:49:12Right.
00:49:26This is the noise complaint.
00:49:28Hey, uh,
00:49:30ain't this the Tobias residence?
00:49:36Holy shit.
00:49:38It's Anton. He's the killer.
00:49:40I better call for backup.
00:49:42Are you crazy?
00:49:44Let the feds get the credit.
00:49:46Think about it. If we color him ourselves, we'll be heroes.
00:49:48Yeah, but we can't go in there without a warrant.
00:49:50Miss on the bill of rights. We got just cause.
00:49:52Freeze!
00:49:54Yeah, freeze!
00:50:00Guys.
00:50:02Guys, what do I do?
00:50:04I think you should...
00:50:10I was gonna say
00:50:12I think you should do what the officers tell you,
00:50:14but now I changed my mind.
00:50:16Yeah, man, you should just kill them.
00:50:18They're alive!
00:50:20They are not! You just shot one through the head!
00:50:22They're morgue meats!
00:50:24Look, guys, I don't want to kill anybody else.
00:50:26Hey.
00:50:28You don't want to go to jail, though.
00:50:30Jail.
00:50:32That's it. That's exactly it.
00:50:34They'll throw me in one of those rubber rooms.
00:50:36I won't be able to hurt anybody else.
00:50:38Cuff me!
00:50:40Okay, just...
00:50:42drop the knitting needles.
00:50:44That's probably not a good idea.
00:50:46Why don't you just cuff me, okay?
00:50:48Drop the knitting needles
00:50:50and put your hands on your head now!
00:50:52I can't!
00:50:54Okay, put down the knitting needles, Anton, and come quietly.
00:50:56Cuff me!
00:50:58Put the knitting needles down now!
00:51:00Cuff me! Put them down!
00:51:02Put them down!
00:51:04Cuff me! Put them down!
00:51:06Cuff me! Cuff me!
00:51:08Oh, no!
00:51:10Oh!
00:51:12Oh!
00:51:14Oh!
00:51:16Ah!
00:51:18Oh!
00:51:20Oh!
00:51:22Aah!
00:51:24Aah!
00:51:26Oh!
00:51:30Go, go, Buffalo!
00:51:34Stop!
00:51:38I didn't do it. Okay, it was my hand again. It's like...
00:51:42It didn't help at all. Well, yeah, man, I told you that saying was more like
00:51:46metaphorical.
00:51:54I can't keep doing this!
00:51:59What was on my mind?
00:52:17Get your head.
00:52:28No way. Whoa.
00:52:32It's the only thing I can think of.
00:52:36Well, wait. Once that hand is gone, how are you going to cut off the other one?
00:52:40Oh, the left one's a keeper. I mean, I guess it wasn't idle enough.
00:52:44You sure? Yeah. I mean, I use it for a lot of things.
00:52:48You know, I light up, I change the remote, I relieve a little tension.
00:52:52This is the answer. I know it.
00:52:56Shit!
00:53:04Nick, grab the electric carver.
00:53:12Oh, look at me! Look at me!
00:53:16I'm Leatherface!
00:53:20Thanks, Mick.
00:53:24I'll just use this one.
00:53:28I can't watch.
00:53:32Aah!
00:53:50You missed.
00:53:54Bite down.
00:53:58Aah!
00:54:08You scream like a girl.
00:54:12What the hell are you doing here?
00:54:16I gotta stop the blood flow.
00:54:20Don't you ever watch ER?
00:54:24That's gonna be infected for sure.
00:54:28You got any antiseptic, Anton?
00:54:32Well, Pinup's got some in a first-aid kit in his house.
00:54:36Ooh, and burritos.
00:54:40We'll be back in a sec to fix you up, Anton.
00:54:48Catch you on the flip-flop.
00:54:54Oh, shit.
00:55:06Oh, shit.
00:55:24Anton, are you home?
00:55:28Hello?
00:55:32Molly, don't come in. Just stay there, okay?
00:55:36Very funny, Anton.
00:55:40Stay out there, Molly, you hear?
00:55:44Oh, shit.
00:55:58Anton, we're gonna be late.
00:56:08Anton, I can hear you in there!
00:56:12Come on!
00:56:16Come on!
00:56:20No, we're gonna be late!
00:56:34We're gonna miss the band.
00:56:42Run!
00:56:50Gross.
00:56:54Anton, I'm coming in.
00:56:58Wait!
00:57:06Wow. You look incredible.
00:57:10Thanks, but you should have called.
00:57:14If you need more time with your costume, fine, but I hate waiting.
00:57:18So what are you supposed to be, anyway?
00:57:22I'm a fast food employee that cut off his own hand.
00:57:26Cute.
00:57:30Come on.
00:57:34Come on.
00:57:38Hey, Anton.
00:57:42Anton, we're back.
00:57:46Anton, we got antiseptic and adhesive bandages, the ouch-free kind.
00:57:50Anton!
00:57:54Microwave for three minutes and enjoy.
00:57:58I'm starting to get on my nerves.
00:58:08Ow! What are you doing?
00:58:12Yeah.
00:58:14Whoa.
00:58:16This way.
00:58:18Easy.
00:58:22Yeah, that's better.
00:58:28Wow.
00:58:32Thanks, man.
00:58:36Oh, gross!
00:58:40Maybe we should clean it first.
00:58:44Hey, yeah, and while we're at it, we can clean the whole fuckin' house.
00:58:48This ain't our mess.
00:58:58Whoa.
00:59:06Look, I can't do the dancing, okay?
00:59:10I'm sorry, but my parents, they're gonna be home in a few minutes,
00:59:14and if they see the mess I made doing my costume, they'll kill me.
00:59:18Look, I won't be too long, and I'll meet you there.
00:59:22Is something wrong?
00:59:26Look, you need to go there, you need to go now, and you can't stop for anything
00:59:30till you're inside with everyone else, okay?
00:59:34You wouldn't stand me up, would you?
00:59:38Not a chance, baby snakes.
00:59:46I'll get the next one.
00:59:50Oh, shit!
00:59:54I burned my tongue.
00:59:58Ooh.
01:00:02Oh, ew, that's disgusting.
01:00:06I bet I can fix that for you.
01:00:20Hold still.
01:00:24That's better.
01:00:28Burrito, burrito, uh-uh, burrito.
01:00:32Wait, wait, don't open it, don't open it!
01:00:36No!
01:00:40Well, I'm sorry, man, there were only two.
01:00:44No, you let the hand out!
01:00:48Shit! Where did it go?
01:00:52What, you mean the hand?
01:00:56Of course I mean the hand.
01:01:00Try looking up your ass.
01:01:12Damn.
01:01:18Shit.
01:01:42Hey, Foxy, you looking for a ball?
01:01:46Uh, I could help you find one that's the right size for you.
01:01:50What the hell? Try and keep up?
01:01:54I'd be happy to keep up with you, sweet thing.
01:01:58Hey, don't you guys have a dance to go to?
01:02:02Oh, that's right, we gotta do our costumes. You coming, Randy?
01:02:06No, no, uh, I think I could find myself a ride.
01:02:10All right.
01:02:14So what brings you to Bowling?
01:02:18You don't want to know. No, seriously, I'm interested.
01:02:22Really? Yeah.
01:02:26Okay, here it goes.
01:02:30I come from a long line of druidic priestesses sworn to fight a certain evil force...
01:02:34that possesses the laziest fuck-up it can find.
01:02:38It will kill as many people as possible and then drag a free soul into the netherworld.
01:02:44That's some weighty shit there.
01:02:48Yeah. Here's the kicker. I actually have the one thing that can stop this from happening.
01:02:52I just need to find the poor bastard whose hand is possessed.
01:02:56Weird. Hey, earlier today...
01:03:00this guy Anton, he told me that his hand was doing stuff that he didn't want it to do.
01:03:04Don't you fuck with me, mister.
01:03:08He's up there, kitten. I'm telling you the truth. This guy was freaked.
01:03:12Show me where he lives.
01:03:28Left. Turn left.
01:03:42Guys!
01:03:46Guys, we gotta go to the dance.
01:03:50The hand, it's after Molly.
01:03:54You know, we should check out the dance. I bet you I'll win best costume, man.
01:03:58Chicks dig winners. I'll probably hook up.
01:04:02Yeah, because severed heads are one of the top ten big turn-ons.
01:04:06Anton, it's killing me to see you this stressed.
01:04:10I mean, you cut off your hand in the interest of who knows how many others.
01:04:14So it's not your problem anymore.
01:04:18So what I want you to do is take a little Anton time, okay?
01:04:22Just relax. I'll kick back, my man.
01:04:26No, no, no. You know what?
01:04:30Not this time, okay? I'm through with that.
01:04:34I mean, all I do is I sit around all day, I veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot...
01:04:38No. No Kevin Costner speeches, all right? Let's just go.
01:04:42It's a mind trip! It's a mind trip! It's a mind trip!
01:04:46It's a mind trip! It's a mind trip!
01:04:58That's him! They're getting into my Ford!
01:05:02Wait here. He's dangerous.
01:05:06Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
01:05:10Slucky.
01:05:14Shit. Couldn't be automatic.
01:05:18You want me to drive? No, just shift for me.
01:05:28Anton! Wait!
01:05:36What was that?
01:05:40Who cares?
01:05:52Hey! Get back here!
01:06:06Shit.
01:06:20Yuck.
01:06:24He's got the barf breath.
01:06:36Damn.
01:06:40It's hot in here.
01:06:44It's all you, babe.
01:06:48I'm sweating my costume off, Curtis.
01:06:56Better? Yeah.
01:07:00Let me get this off.
01:07:04Shit.
01:07:18Let me get this off.
01:07:34Shit.
01:07:40Everything.
01:07:44Curtis.
01:07:48No!
01:08:02Get away from him.
01:08:18He's here.
01:08:22Okay. You guys go on the dance, protect Molly.
01:08:26I'm going after that fucking hand.
01:08:30What a waste. I thought you didn't like Curtis.
01:08:34I'm talking about that ass. Well, at least he died happy.
01:08:48Molly!
01:09:04Molly! What's bugging you?
01:09:08Just thinking. And I don't know who the hell.
01:09:12Just thought he'd be here by now.
01:09:16I'm gonna go get some punch. You want some?
01:09:20It's okay. I'll be right back.
01:09:46Wow. You guys look great.
01:09:50Wow. Who did your makeup?
01:09:54I guess Anton did, based on my design, though.
01:09:58You want to dance? Hell yeah.
01:10:02No. We're supposed to find Molly.
01:10:06Quit being such a skirt. We'll look for her while we dance.
01:10:10Careful. It's all kind of loose.
01:10:14Whoa!
01:10:38Don't put me on hold again. I want to talk to your supervisor.
01:10:42What?
01:10:44Oh, yes, of course.
01:10:47No.
01:10:49What's taking so long? Is this the supervisor?
01:10:53What do you mean my credit card is no good?
01:10:56Well, you must have the wrong number.
01:11:00No, it's 8-4-6-8.
01:11:03Yes.
01:11:06Yes, okay, yes, yes, like, yes, yes.
01:11:10Oh, that's good.
01:11:12Okay, I think you've been a bad girl,
01:11:16and I want to spank you with my ruler.
01:11:21Oh, yes, that's nice.
01:11:24That is nice.
01:11:28Now I'm hot.
01:11:30I'm hot.
01:11:32Thank you.
01:11:33Got me so hot, it's like I can feel you touching me.
01:11:39I can feel you touching me.
01:12:10Bingo!
01:12:24Come on, we got to find Anton.
01:12:27Yeah, and kick his ass.
01:12:40Are you Anton?
01:12:42Look, if you're a teacher,
01:12:44we're going to have to discuss my attendance record some other time.
01:12:48Thank God I found you.
01:12:50My name is Debbie LeCure.
01:12:52I know what's happening, Anton.
01:12:54I can stop it.
01:12:56Really? How?
01:12:58Die!
01:13:00Aah!
01:13:02Fuck!
01:13:04Aah!
01:13:16Yeah, fuck him up, Debbie!
01:13:19The host of evil must die!
01:13:26Isn't that knife a little extreme, kitten?
01:13:31Aah!
01:13:39You're not going anywhere, you evil-hosting fuckstick!
01:13:42Nobody touches my Ford!
01:13:44Come on, Debbie, give him what for!
01:13:47What? What? I'm not a host, okay?
01:13:50Look, the evil was in my head, all right?
01:13:54I cut it off, okay?
01:13:57Okay?
01:13:59Oh, shit!
01:14:01You let it loose? That was probably a mistake.
01:14:04No kidding. And now it's after my girlfriend.
01:14:07You got a girlfriend?
01:14:09I gotta stop it, all right? It's out for blood.
01:14:11Oh, that ain't all it's out for.
01:14:13If your girl's the one it's after,
01:14:15then at midnight, it's taking her to hell.
01:14:18Hell? Yeah.
01:14:20It's not even 9 o'clock yet. We got some time.
01:14:23No.
01:14:25It's actually...
01:14:27six minutes till midnight.
01:14:29Druid time.
01:14:31Druid time.
01:14:33Right. Let's go.
01:14:43Oh, God!
01:14:45That's disgusting!
01:14:47Come on, man. You're dead.
01:14:50You know, think about it. It's illegal.
01:14:55Oh, my God!
01:15:21Watch my girlfriend coming to the door!
01:15:24Everybody move! There's a psycho killer here!
01:15:38I cut off my hand, and it's gonna kill you all!
01:15:46But, no, it's true. His hand killed us yesterday.
01:15:49Yeah, it sliced me up real good.
01:15:51All of you out there, get out of here, kid!
01:15:55You had your fun. Now it's time to...
01:16:09Shit!
01:16:22Shit!
01:16:36God! Did you see that thing?
01:16:38I have to get Antoine!
01:16:40No, screw him! I mean, who is that?
01:16:43Um...
01:16:45Come on!
01:16:48You wanna go in there?
01:16:50You wanna stay out here and get killed and or trapped?
01:16:59I was gonna get some.
01:17:02I really doubt it.
01:17:11So, Penob's a lot more creative than I thought he was.
01:17:14I mean, he's actually kinda cool.
01:17:16And that... He had that costume?
01:17:18Maybe we should go a little faster.
01:17:20I don't know if he did it or...
01:17:22Wait, wait!
01:17:26Go!
01:17:37Shit! We're trapped in here!
01:17:39Oh, my God! It's gonna get me!
01:17:41It's not gonna get you!
01:17:47What about the plane?
01:17:49If it can't go through, there will be no ride!
01:17:51Give me your shoe!
01:18:16Is it in there?
01:18:24What are you gonna do?
01:18:28No, no, no! It's too far!
01:18:31I can't drop that far!
01:18:33We're gonna die in this bed!
01:18:36We're not gonna die!
01:18:37We're gonna die here!
01:18:38The rats are gonna eat us and nobody's gonna find us!
01:18:42Oh, God. Okay, we're good.
01:18:48Be careful!
01:18:49All right, let's go!
01:18:57This would be a lot more comfortable if your ass wasn't so wide.
01:19:00This is dumb.
01:19:01Well, Anton needs our help.
01:19:03The best thing about being dead is zero responsibility.
01:19:05It's gonna get me!
01:19:06That's Tanya. Let's save her. Come on!
01:19:12Hurry up! She needs me!
01:19:13She needs you like a fish needs...
01:19:20Okay, this sucks.
01:19:28Tanya, grab the cord and come down!
01:19:30I can't! I can't! I'm scared!
01:19:34Do it, Tanya! Come on!
01:19:36I can't!
01:19:37It's here!
01:19:38It's in here! I know it!
01:19:41Why'd you pull the rope up?
01:19:43I didn't pull the rope up.
01:19:49Tanya, where are you? I can't see you!
01:19:51Tanya, talk to me, please!
01:19:53Just talk! Just talk!
01:20:00Tanya! Grab the cord!
01:20:03Get it off me!
01:20:05Get it off me!
01:20:09Get it off! Get it off!
01:20:30Ow!
01:20:36Okay, I'm not going through all this, Tanya.
01:20:39Go back that way.
01:20:41You're really not gonna get me?
01:20:43It's just unfair.
01:20:45You can go back if you want to get a piece.
01:21:06Tanya!
01:21:20Fucking little hen, I got you now!
01:21:36Oh!
01:22:00Who's your daddy now, bitch? Huh?
01:22:02Who's your fucking daddy?
01:22:05Whoa!
01:22:07Hey, I'm here for you, buddy. Don't worry.
01:22:12Hey, I made that ashtray.
01:22:14You let it go again!
01:22:16Fuck you, then.
01:22:17Fine, then. You know what?
01:22:19You guys aren't crashing at my house tonight.
01:22:21Oh, did you guys hear that?
01:22:24Molly.
01:22:28Help! Help!
01:22:30Molly!
01:22:33Anton! Help me!
01:22:39Ah!
01:22:45Bet she wins best costume.
01:22:47Help me!
01:22:51Anton!
01:22:53Shit, the hand's away from the car!
01:22:56Help me!
01:22:58Don't worry, Molly! We got it under control!
01:23:01Little fucker's got a grip!
01:23:11Mitch!
01:23:17Those auto shop boys are true artistes.
01:23:22It's Mighty Joe Bong!
01:23:24Come on.
01:23:26I need some spinach.
01:23:29Blub!
01:23:31I made that.
01:23:32Blub!
01:23:33You know, the ashtray, I'd almost believe, but this? No way.
01:23:36Ah!
01:23:38Ah!
01:23:40Molly's about to get squished, you smelly green bastards!
01:23:43This is important. For strength.
01:23:49Anton!
01:23:58There you go.
01:24:01See, now you take it Anton time.
01:24:04You're gonna stop with your friends?
01:24:06Unbelievable!
01:24:19Ah!
01:24:28Ah!
01:24:40That is some one-hit shit right there.
01:24:43Don't worry, Molly. I'll get you down.
01:24:59Ah!
01:25:12That's it?
01:25:15That's it? No explosions, no hellfire, no...
01:25:20I mean, no, I'm glad everybody's all right, but, yeah, that was weak.
01:25:24Well, my work here is done.
01:25:26Time for the ritualistic sex.
01:25:28You coming?
01:25:30You are a pisshole.
01:25:33Ah!
01:25:35I'm still up here.
01:25:39Thanks, Mick.
01:25:41Your butt.
01:25:57Here.
01:26:10As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day.
01:26:21Hey, I never got a hit.
01:26:24Hey, I never got a hit. Light me.
01:26:35Anton!
01:26:37Sweet Jesus!
01:26:39Okay, that wasn't my fault. That thing should have come down a lot slower.
01:26:54What the hell?
01:26:56Hey, don't forget my bomb.
01:26:58You did not make that bomb.
01:27:00Uh-huh. I arc-welded it and shit.
01:27:02You don't even take auto-shot.
01:27:04Fuck you!
01:27:06You coming, Anton?
01:27:23I can't even believe it.
01:27:25You blew off heaven to kick it with me.
01:27:27You are the coolest.
01:27:29Are you kidding me?
01:27:31You taking care of me gets the shit out of heaven, let me tell you.
01:27:33Really?
01:27:38Time for your meds.
01:27:48Guys! You blew off heaven, too?
01:27:51No, we're your guardian angels.
01:27:55Poor thing. He's out of his mind with delirium.
01:27:57Visiting hours are over.
01:28:01I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
01:28:09So, the deal is, we're supposed to monitor you
01:28:12and make sure you don't revert back to your evil ways.
01:28:15But you seem fine now.
01:28:17Let's hit the snack master in the hall.
01:28:19Do you want anything, Anton?
01:28:21Yeah, give me some crunch nuggets.
01:28:23These things are awesome.
01:28:25Hey.
01:28:27Thanks, you guys.
01:28:33Hit the light.
01:28:39Aah!
01:28:43Mick! You have to bury me!
01:28:46Mick!
01:28:50Aah!
01:28:52Hey, you're right. Anton screams like a girl.
01:28:55Think we should tell him we painted that on the ceiling?
01:28:58Fuck it.
01:29:00Hey, let's go walk through a nurse.
01:29:01Watch it. Some of them are guys.
01:29:20I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain
01:29:23No, no, oh, oh, oh
01:29:2820, 20, 24 hours ago
01:29:31I want to be sedated
01:29:33There's nothing to do, nowhere to go
01:29:36I want to be sedated
01:29:38Just put me in a wheelchair and give me all the blinks
01:29:42Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane
01:29:44I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain
01:29:47No, oh, oh, oh
01:30:0320, 20, 24 hours ago
01:30:06I want to be sedated
01:30:08There's nothing to do, nowhere to go
01:30:11I want to be sedated
01:30:13Just put me in a wheelchair and get me to a show
01:30:16Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane
01:30:18I can't control my fingers, I can't control my toes
01:30:21No, oh, oh, oh
01:30:29Standing on a streetlight trying to get away
01:30:31Guilty, guilty, I hear what you say
01:30:33Chiding down the aisles, but I haven't got the time
01:30:36Swayed at the precinct, jumping on the line, on the line
01:30:42And what I want to know
01:30:44Is will I get that rope
01:30:47Or is there a second solution
01:30:51What I want to say
01:30:53Is will I die today
01:30:56Or will I get
01:30:59Second solution
01:31:02Second solution
01:31:04Second solution
01:31:07Second solution
01:31:09Second solution
01:31:12Second solution
01:31:14Second solution
01:31:16Second solution
01:31:19Second solution
01:31:21Second solution
01:31:23Second solution
01:31:40Aha
01:31:43Comcontainment by my sin
01:31:45Until and body I can't
01:31:48Only contain it
01:31:50Yeah, you're pushing
01:31:52Yeah, you're pushing
01:31:54Yeah, you're pushing
01:31:56You, you push, you push