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Host: Nida Yasir
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Host: Nida Yasir
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigitalshow #arydigital
#aroobamirza #zainabraza #danishnawaz #newyearcelebration
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FunTranscript
00:00:00As-Salaam-Alaikum, good morning, good morning Pakistan.
00:00:29It's such a trend these days to go to the gym, to take care of yourself,
00:00:33to eat healthy, to eat organic, to eat this, to eat that, to do this, to do that.
00:00:39I don't know which vegetables we are eating, organic meat, eggs, this and that.
00:00:44It's such a good thing that you take care of yourself.
00:00:48But before you take care of your physical appearance or your physical body,
00:00:54you have to take care of your mental health.
00:00:57But if you don't take care of your mental health from the inside,
00:01:03then whatever you eat, you won't feel it.
00:01:06In childhood, mothers used to say,
00:01:08you are eating food by crying, what will you feel?
00:01:11It means that to be healthy, you don't just have to eat good food,
00:01:16you also need to think good.
00:01:18You need to keep yourself away from toxic people.
00:01:21You need to keep yourself away from getting burnt.
00:01:24A lot of people are good in every way,
00:01:28they eat and drink, but they get burnt so much that it comes on their face.
00:01:32They have a lot of worries.
00:01:35Worry about money, worry about children.
00:01:38It means that at a certain age,
00:01:40old age comes early because your children are not set,
00:01:45your children are stuck in some problem,
00:01:47there is something in the family because of which you are not able to make yourself happy from the inside
00:01:53and it comes on your face, on your body.
00:01:56A lot of people get diseases,
00:01:58later they come to know that it is a heart disease.
00:02:01It was because there was a whole history behind it,
00:02:05when doctors know the history.
00:02:07So we save ourselves from a lot of things,
00:02:10that no, no, no, you have to be happy, you have to be happy.
00:02:13Nowadays people know this too.
00:02:15But there are some things that eat you like a bug.
00:02:20For example,
00:02:21if you are superstitious,
00:02:23suspicious,
00:02:25if you have grudges in your heart,
00:02:27these things eat you like a bug from the inside.
00:02:30Suspecting your wife's husband,
00:02:32and no matter how good she looks in physical appearance,
00:02:36how healthy she looks,
00:02:37but if she has this disease inside,
00:02:40she knows that her husband is like this,
00:02:42and she suspects,
00:02:45because of that, she is dying inside.
00:02:48A lot of women get diseases,
00:02:50later they come to know,
00:02:51by tolerating all their life,
00:02:53by compromising all their life,
00:02:54they have become like this,
00:02:55that they have got heart diseases.
00:02:58So suspicion eats you like a bug.
00:03:02Whether they suspect their husband and wife,
00:03:04whether they sometimes
00:03:06don't trust their parents and children,
00:03:08they suspect,
00:03:10whether they suspect their brothers and sisters,
00:03:12how much business they do,
00:03:14and I don't know what all things happen in interiors,
00:03:17because of suspicion.
00:03:19So today,
00:03:20we are going to tell you some such stories here,
00:03:24that you will be amazed.
00:03:27What should I tell you?
00:03:29Whether you should suspect your husband or not?
00:03:31I don't know,
00:03:33how can I save you from this?
00:03:35Or what advice should I give you?
00:03:38Because this thing is in your nature,
00:03:41you will have to get rid of it yourself.
00:03:43Someone should explain to you,
00:03:45someone should tell you,
00:03:47that leave it,
00:03:49worry about yourself,
00:03:50worry about your home,
00:03:51worry about your health,
00:03:52but you can't leave some worries,
00:03:55until you explain yourself.
00:03:58So after a short break,
00:03:59come,
00:04:00I will teach you how to explain yourself,
00:04:03in this show.
00:04:05Good morning.
00:04:16Welcome.
00:04:17Welcome back.
00:04:18Good morning, Pakistan.
00:04:20As I told you today,
00:04:21our topic is suspicion.
00:04:23Now that suspicion is not necessary,
00:04:25like in dramas,
00:04:27where husband and wife are always together,
00:04:29but this suspicion will spread,
00:04:31which is also a disease,
00:04:32like I said,
00:04:33it bites you like an ant.
00:04:34Sometimes,
00:04:35parents suspect their children,
00:04:37or any other family member.
00:04:39So,
00:04:40how can you save yourself,
00:04:43from getting infected?
00:04:46I will teach you some techniques.
00:04:48I have with me,
00:04:49Munazza Arif.
00:04:50Assalamualaikum.
00:04:51How are you?
00:04:52I am good.
00:04:53Thank you for inviting me.
00:04:55I have with me,
00:04:56Farah Nadeem.
00:04:57Assalamualaikum.
00:04:58Walaikumassalam.
00:04:59How are you?
00:05:00I am good.
00:05:01Obviously,
00:05:02we need help right now.
00:05:04We don't need a grandmother,
00:05:06or an earful woman right now.
00:05:09We need a professional help,
00:05:13and I have with me,
00:05:14Dr. Neelam Naaz,
00:05:15a clinical psychologist.
00:05:17Assalamualaikum.
00:05:18Walaikumassalam.
00:05:19How are you?
00:05:20Alhamdulillah.
00:05:21I am good.
00:05:22How are you?
00:05:23I am good.
00:05:24So,
00:05:25what do you define as suspicion?
00:05:27Everyone has different perceptions and definitions.
00:05:31What do you see as suspicion?
00:05:33What is suspicion?
00:05:35Wherever trust ends,
00:05:37suspicion starts.
00:05:40Where your boundary of trust falls,
00:05:43suspicion starts.
00:05:45What do you think,
00:05:46the one you are suspicious of,
00:05:47is having a difficult life,
00:05:48or the one you are suspecting,
00:05:49is having a difficult life?
00:05:51Of course,
00:05:52the one who is doing it,
00:05:53is in trouble.
00:05:55Yes,
00:05:56absolutely.
00:05:57The one who is doing it,
00:05:58see,
00:05:59suspicion is a poison.
00:06:00Now,
00:06:01that poison is being nurtured by itself.
00:06:02It is possible that the one who is suspecting,
00:06:04is not right.
00:06:05Suspicion is this,
00:06:06not belief.
00:06:07Now,
00:06:08the one who is suspecting,
00:06:09is not right.
00:06:10But,
00:06:11he is thinking on his own,
00:06:12why did Mian apply perfume today?
00:06:13This suspicion has increased,
00:06:14after watching CID and such dramas.
00:06:16Yes.
00:06:17After watching the dramas,
00:06:18it has increased.
00:06:19After watching the dramas,
00:06:20and after listening to other people's experiences.
00:06:22Right.
00:06:23And,
00:06:24if I define suspicion in a simple way,
00:06:25Nida,
00:06:26then it is a wrong way of thinking.
00:06:28It is a wrong way of thinking.
00:06:30And,
00:06:31if you start being suspicious,
00:06:33then there is no end to it.
00:06:35Absolutely.
00:06:36See,
00:06:37you are making up stories.
00:06:38Yes,
00:06:39we keep on assuming.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41Suspicion,
00:06:42generally,
00:06:43as we have seen in our practice,
00:06:44is a disease of intelligent people.
00:06:46A person who is not very smart,
00:06:48a person who is not very smart,
00:06:51he will not be able to suspect in that way.
00:06:54The reason is that,
00:06:55as you think,
00:06:56the same thing starts happening with you.
00:06:58That is,
00:06:59if I think that someone is cheating me,
00:07:01then I will start looking for those things,
00:07:03those evidences in my life.
00:07:05That,
00:07:06somewhere,
00:07:07I should come to know,
00:07:08how people are cheating me.
00:07:10Then,
00:07:11I will get into that hole.
00:07:12That,
00:07:13yes,
00:07:14he told me this,
00:07:15he told me that he is going here,
00:07:16but see,
00:07:17I checked his check-in,
00:07:18so he is here.
00:07:19So,
00:07:20when I start looking for evidences,
00:07:22then my suspicion increases.
00:07:24Right.
00:07:25And,
00:07:26obviously,
00:07:27you need a little intelligence,
00:07:28to get into the hole again and again.
00:07:29And,
00:07:30if I answer your question,
00:07:31then the disease of suspicion,
00:07:32the disease of thinking,
00:07:33it is a disease,
00:07:34it is painful for that person,
00:07:36and for those people,
00:07:37with whom there is suspicion,
00:07:38it is painful for them too.
00:07:39And,
00:07:40Nida,
00:07:41this,
00:07:42this happens somewhere in nature,
00:07:43but,
00:07:44from the environment of your house,
00:07:45it needs a lot of reinforcement.
00:07:47Right.
00:07:48That is,
00:07:49if you have seen your parents,
00:07:50being suspicious,
00:07:51then it gets absorbed,
00:07:52in your mind,
00:07:53the quality.
00:07:54Absolutely.
00:07:55Or,
00:07:56you have seen,
00:07:57that someone's heart is broken,
00:07:58in a very bad way.
00:07:59In your family,
00:08:00with some uncle,
00:08:01with someone else,
00:08:02with your mother,
00:08:03you have been cheated.
00:08:04So,
00:08:05every time,
00:08:06you try,
00:08:07that nothing like this happens to me.
00:08:08So,
00:08:09I should always be alert.
00:08:10Every time,
00:08:11someone harms me,
00:08:12before that,
00:08:13I should find out,
00:08:14that,
00:08:15he is going to harm me,
00:08:16and I should save myself.
00:08:17But,
00:08:18in many places,
00:08:19it also happens that,
00:08:20even if you have not seen anyone,
00:08:21there is no such thing in the family,
00:08:22but,
00:08:23it happens in nature,
00:08:24that,
00:08:25in your nature,
00:08:26you keep doubting.
00:08:27You will doubt everyone,
00:08:28not just your husband,
00:08:29but,
00:08:30in your family,
00:08:31you keep doubting.
00:08:32Definitely.
00:08:33In any of their relationships,
00:08:34the marriage relationship,
00:08:35is already very sincere,
00:08:36and,
00:08:37the basis of it is trust.
00:08:38Right?
00:08:39There is nothing else,
00:08:40in your marriage relationship.
00:08:41But,
00:08:42apart from that,
00:08:43in your office,
00:08:44the relationships that you have,
00:08:45with your drivers,
00:08:46with your maids,
00:08:47the relationships that you have,
00:08:48will all be bad,
00:08:49because,
00:08:50you are not giving that person,
00:08:51that much space.
00:08:52You are not trusting that person.
00:08:53So,
00:08:54people start pulling you.
00:08:55May I interrupt?
00:08:56Please.
00:08:57Sure.
00:08:58I will disagree with you a little.
00:08:59Like,
00:09:00stress,
00:09:01we all say,
00:09:02stress,
00:09:03oh, no, no,
00:09:04stress is really bad.
00:09:05Uh,
00:09:06to an extent,
00:09:07stress is very important.
00:09:08Positive stress,
00:09:09is very important.
00:09:10For example?
00:09:11Like,
00:09:12there is an exam.
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14I say,
00:09:15I don't take stress.
00:09:16Yes.
00:09:17I won't even work hard,
00:09:18I will get bad marks.
00:09:19Yes.
00:09:20And,
00:09:21if I take stress,
00:09:22I will take positive stress,
00:09:23that,
00:09:24I have work,
00:09:25I have to do,
00:09:26I have to work.
00:09:27I have to be serious about it.
00:09:28Be serious about it.
00:09:29So,
00:09:30in the beginning,
00:09:31it was stress-free.
00:09:32I was stressed about it.
00:09:33So,
00:09:34it became stressful.
00:09:35Similarly,
00:09:36doubt,
00:09:37we shouldn't totally doubt,
00:09:38that is also wrong.
00:09:39To an extent,
00:09:40normal doubt,
00:09:41that,
00:09:42it is such that,
00:09:43the quantity of everything,
00:09:44is important.
00:09:45Everything is not totally bad.
00:09:46Yes,
00:09:47when it is more than needed,
00:09:48then it becomes bad.
00:09:49Then,
00:09:50it becomes a tumor.
00:09:51Because,
00:09:52it grows.
00:09:53Because,
00:09:54we have seen a lot of cases,
00:09:55around,
00:09:56that,
00:09:57poor women,
00:09:58poor innocent women,
00:09:59they don't know anything.
00:10:00Their house is finished.
00:10:01Yes,
00:10:02they don't know anything.
00:10:03Yes,
00:10:04they have looted everything,
00:10:05and come to another woman.
00:10:06So,
00:10:07we should be careful.
00:10:08So,
00:10:09we should be careful.
00:10:10We should keep our eyes open.
00:10:11Yes.
00:10:12We should not doubt.
00:10:13But,
00:10:14we should keep checking,
00:10:15where are they coming from,
00:10:16where are they going.
00:10:17Like he is saying,
00:10:18we should doubt,
00:10:19but not too much.
00:10:20Yes,
00:10:21we should be careful.
00:10:22How can we set the scale?
00:10:23We have to check,
00:10:24but not too much.
00:10:25But doubt,
00:10:26doubt is doubt,
00:10:27you feel,
00:10:28you feel an emptiness,
00:10:29there is this gap.
00:10:30So,
00:10:31you,
00:10:32mean,
00:10:33by using your consciousness,
00:10:34by using your intellect,
00:10:35look for it objectively,
00:10:36it is not like
00:10:37what you are saying.
00:10:38When we,
00:10:39our thoughts,
00:10:40they become our actions,
00:10:41our actions,
00:10:42they become our behavior,
00:10:43and our behavior
00:10:44becomes our belief.
00:10:45So,
00:10:46in this way,
00:10:47we become
00:10:48a personality.
00:10:49We begin with
00:10:50thinking,
00:10:51and we end
00:10:52on the personality.
00:10:53It is not
00:10:54that serious,
00:10:55you will get
00:10:56It's such a serious business.
00:10:58So, we need to control the suspicion.
00:11:01Controlled suspicion is important.
00:11:03Suspicion means to keep a gap.
00:11:06If you don't have any suspicion, you'll be robbed.
00:11:09You'll be finished and you won't even know it.
00:11:11You'll lose your mind.
00:11:12Like, if your mates work at home,
00:11:15you need to be alert, you need to keep an eye on them.
00:11:17It's not a suspicion, but you need to keep an eye on them.
00:11:21I mean, you don't need to close your eyes.
00:11:23You shouldn't close your eyes.
00:11:24The word, Suspicion, is very negative.
00:11:27In our society, the word Suspicion is negative.
00:11:29We see it in a negative connotation.
00:11:32If we change the word, it becomes Accountability.
00:11:36Or Check-in.
00:11:37Check-in.
00:11:38You need to give the kids a little gap.
00:11:40Like, you're going out with your friends,
00:11:41but keep updating me on where you are, what you're doing.
00:11:45And keep giving them the money they're asking for.
00:11:47No, no.
00:11:48Balance.
00:11:48No, no.
00:11:49Don't doubt them.
00:11:50No, no.
00:11:50Keep your eyes open.
00:11:51Like she was saying, there's moderation in everything.
00:11:54There's balance in everything.
00:11:56And how do you know that you're going towards a problem?
00:11:59You need to see how much your thoughts and reality match.
00:12:05If my daughter is saying that she's going out with a group of friends every day,
00:12:10and I know that her parents have gone out,
00:12:12then I should get this question mark somewhere,
00:12:15that I should ask her,
00:12:16where are you going every day for 4-4 hours?
00:12:19Where are you going?
00:12:19Meaning, the information she's giving me doesn't match.
00:12:23So it's your right to question.
00:12:26But the way you ask questions,
00:12:28and how much capacity you have to accept their answers,
00:12:32that also matters.
00:12:34If I've already made up my mind,
00:12:36this doubt about the problem that we're talking about,
00:12:38that comes when I've already thought in my mind that this person is wrong.
00:12:43No matter what they say in their explanation,
00:12:46present their evidences,
00:12:48or swear that they know that they're wrong and they're deceiving me.
00:12:53That's a problem.
00:12:54When you're giving them a chance to explain,
00:12:57then listen to them and give them a little margin.
00:13:00We need objectivity.
00:13:01We need to see where the doubt is in the lives of the people we have here,
00:13:06and how they're being eaten up,
00:13:09or how they can make themselves understand,
00:13:11that we need to be powerful enough to overcome that.
00:13:16We need to take it under control.
00:13:19We need to keep a check and balance.
00:13:21We shouldn't spread it so much that there will be fights at home.
00:13:24Because of this, your family life will be ruined.
00:13:27Yes, greetings.
00:13:28Hina is with us.
00:13:29Greetings.
00:13:30Yes.
00:13:31Yes, Hina.
00:13:32Yes, so my story is like this.
00:13:34My uncle's son and I were engaged.
00:13:38Okay.
00:13:39But he was studying at the university,
00:13:40so he liked someone there.
00:13:42Then our engagement ended.
00:13:44But after a year, I got married.
00:13:47Yes.
00:13:47When I got married, my husband was very nice,
00:13:50he took care of me a lot,
00:13:51but I don't know what happened to him.
00:13:53After a while, he started doubting me.
00:13:56He used to doubt that if I use my phone,
00:13:58then he would check my phone.
00:14:00If I was talking to my mom on the phone,
00:14:01then he would take my phone number,
00:14:04and confirm that I was talking to my mom.
00:14:07Then by doing this, his doubt increased.
00:14:09He wouldn't let me go anywhere.
00:14:11He wouldn't let me go to my mother's house.
00:14:13He wouldn't let me go to my mother's house.
00:14:16My mother used to call and tell me to bring him,
00:14:18at least for a little while.
00:14:19And even if he would take me,
00:14:21then for an hour or an hour and a half,
00:14:23and he would make me sit with him.
00:14:25He wouldn't even let me move.
00:14:26Because he used to doubt that
00:14:28if I was still having an affair with my cousin,
00:14:30or if there was something like that.
00:14:32Yes.
00:14:33And it happened like this,
00:14:34that no matter how many marriages took place in my house,
00:14:36no matter what happened,
00:14:37he didn't let me go.
00:14:39He didn't let me go at all.
00:14:41He used to doubt that if I was still having an affair with my cousin.
00:14:44Because we used to live together.
00:14:45We were a joint family.
00:14:46So, we used to live up and down.
00:14:48So, our cousins used to talk to each other a lot.
00:14:51We used to hang out, we used to be friends.
00:14:52All of this was there.
00:14:54Even after the engagement was over,
00:14:55we still had a good friendship.
00:14:58But then my husband used to feel that something was going on between us.
00:15:02If there was a funeral in my house,
00:15:04then he used to take me like this.
00:15:06He used to take me and make me sit with him.
00:15:08He wouldn't let me go anywhere.
00:15:10He didn't want me to talk to anyone.
00:15:12He used to feel so bad.
00:15:13And when I used to talk to my mother,
00:15:15he used to check my mother's number.
00:15:17He used to check my phone completely.
00:15:19To see who I talked to and what I talked about.
00:15:21Because of that, he made me stay away from all my cousins.
00:15:24He wouldn't let me meet them,
00:15:25he wouldn't let me talk to them,
00:15:27he wouldn't let me go.
00:15:28Even if there was a conversation, I couldn't go there.
00:15:30Because he didn't like it.
00:15:32He used to doubt a lot about my cousins.
00:15:34That I had an affair or something like that.
00:15:37So, he didn't like it.
00:15:39So, your relationship is still the same?
00:15:42Yes, it's still the same.
00:15:44It's been 1.5 years since I went to my parents' house.
00:15:46He didn't let me go for 1.5 years.
00:15:49He feels that I shouldn't talk to anyone.
00:15:51Like this.
00:15:53And he takes me to his side.
00:15:55He doesn't have any problem with his side.
00:15:57But he has a problem with my uncle's son.
00:16:00Because of that, he made me stay away from everyone.
00:16:03He made me stay away from all my relations.
00:16:05Because he doubts a lot that I shouldn't talk to him.
00:16:08What should I do?
00:16:09It's only been 1.5 years since I've been with him.
00:16:11Is your fiancee married?
00:16:13Yes, she's married.
00:16:15Yes, she's married.
00:16:17What should I do?
00:16:18She's stuck.
00:16:19This happens in a lot of families.
00:16:20Cousins have an affair.
00:16:22And then it ends.
00:16:23There's no understanding.
00:16:24Or no liking.
00:16:26If it continues.
00:16:28So, this will be a hell of a life.
00:16:31How can a person cut off from his family?
00:16:34He's been with his cousin all his life.
00:16:36So, what's the solution to this, Neelam?
00:16:38When her husband talks about this,
00:16:41does he tell you what his problem is?
00:16:45Have you ever asked him what the reason is?
00:16:47That he doesn't let you meet him.
00:16:48Or have you ever tried to talk to him about this topic?
00:16:52No, because he tells me.
00:16:54It's obvious.
00:16:55He tells me.
00:16:56He tells me again and again that he has a problem with my cousin.
00:16:58Because of whom I got engaged.
00:17:00So, because of this, he has a problem with everyone.
00:17:02That I'll go to my parents' house.
00:17:04Because we all live together.
00:17:05We're a joint family.
00:17:06We all live together.
00:17:08In the same building.
00:17:09So, I'll meet him.
00:17:10I'll talk to him.
00:17:11He'll talk to me.
00:17:12So, he has a problem with this.
00:17:13Okay.
00:17:14And obviously, you must have said at the end that you won't have any connection with him.
00:17:18But you want to maintain that relationship with everyone else.
00:17:20Yes, I have explained this to him.
00:17:22Okay.
00:17:23And what does he say about this?
00:17:24He says that I don't trust him.
00:17:26You'll go.
00:17:27He's your cousin.
00:17:28You have such a good friendship.
00:17:29You'll go.
00:17:30If you don't go to meet him, he'll come to meet you.
00:17:33Because we live in the same place.
00:17:35So, this is the problem.
00:17:36How much do your family members know about this problem?
00:17:39Obviously, because you don't go.
00:17:40You don't meet.
00:17:41Your family must also say something about this.
00:17:43What is their reaction?
00:17:44My family, obviously, they can only explain to my husband.
00:17:47And they also explain that there is no such thing.
00:17:50There was something.
00:17:51If there was an engagement, it was because of us elders.
00:17:53We liked the elders.
00:17:54But the children didn't get along.
00:17:56Or whatever it was.
00:17:57Or no one liked it.
00:17:58So, it's over.
00:17:59The thing that's over, it's over.
00:18:02Not anymore.
00:18:03He's also married.
00:18:04And I'm also married.
00:18:06So, she doesn't have to explain it to him.
00:18:08Her husband needs it.
00:18:09Definitely.
00:18:11Basically, what will Neelam help him with?
00:18:13Neelam will have to help her husband.
00:18:16Definitely.
00:18:18See, and again, you know, those who have the disease of suspicion,
00:18:21they are least likely to come to therapy or talk about the issue.
00:18:26They don't agree.
00:18:27They don't agree.
00:18:28Because they give so many explanations.
00:18:30They give so many logical arguments.
00:18:33And then they insult the other person.
00:18:35That no, I'm absolutely right.
00:18:37You didn't listen to me.
00:18:38See, her married life is getting so bad.
00:18:40Definitely.
00:18:41Now, how long will she tolerate it?
00:18:43It's been a year and a half now.
00:18:44For a long time, you lock someone in a cage and lock them in a golden cage.
00:18:47But it is also possible that in some time,
00:18:49she herself corrects herself.
00:18:51In some time, she gets better.
00:18:53She spends her whole life like this.
00:18:55Sorry.
00:18:56Sorry.
00:18:57I didn't want to complete your point.
00:18:58No, no.
00:18:59What I want to know is that
00:19:01is your husband only suspicious of that cousin
00:19:03or is his suspicion increasing?
00:19:05You are going to the market.
00:19:06You are meeting someone else.
00:19:08You are meeting some other family member.
00:19:10Does he also have this thing that you don't become friendly?
00:19:13Or is it only related to that cousin?
00:19:15No.
00:19:16If I go out with my family,
00:19:18they take me with them.
00:19:20At first, I don't go alone.
00:19:22And when it comes to my house,
00:19:24my family,
00:19:25then they start having problems with everyone.
00:19:27Because they feel that we all live together.
00:19:29Even if I talk to my cousin,
00:19:31no one will tell her.
00:19:33They think like this.
00:19:34No, no.
00:19:35She was engaged.
00:19:36In a lot of houses,
00:19:38couples don't even get engaged.
00:19:40Even then, husband puts so many restrictions.
00:19:42No one should talk to her happily.
00:19:44How did I talk to you?
00:19:46Why did I greet you?
00:19:47I mean, they make their life so difficult
00:19:50that obviously,
00:19:52there is a level of your jokes with your cousin.
00:19:54Right?
00:19:55Aunt, aunt,
00:19:57whatever cousins are,
00:19:59they are together since childhood.
00:20:01Some husbands make their life difficult.
00:20:03Even if they are not engaged,
00:20:05these are common things.
00:20:07Absolutely right.
00:20:08Look, we have to see two things here.
00:20:10First of all, we have to see
00:20:12that her husband,
00:20:14does he have a doubt in his nature?
00:20:16As a person,
00:20:18if you leave this uncle and son,
00:20:20apart from him,
00:20:22has he had a habit of
00:20:24doubting his sisters
00:20:26and other family members
00:20:28in his childhood or not?
00:20:30If these things are coming in his personality,
00:20:32that means that
00:20:34no matter how much he compromises,
00:20:36that thing will come again.
00:20:38Now, no matter how much you try to manage it,
00:20:40but it will come again.
00:20:42What is his condition then?
00:20:44Look, you have to set some boundaries.
00:20:46The person who is living with the person
00:20:48who has a doubt,
00:20:50he has this option that
00:20:52you give him consolation.
00:20:54You give him consolation.
00:20:56Whatever doubts he has,
00:20:58that if you go here, you will go up,
00:21:00you will sit,
00:21:02and he thinks of such things
00:21:04that are not in your mind.
00:21:06So you sit with him,
00:21:08whatever problems he has,
00:21:10that you will meet here,
00:21:12you will meet him,
00:21:14you will do this,
00:21:16you will do that,
00:21:18I am going to Delhi,
00:21:20which is segregated,
00:21:22I will only meet my female cousin.
00:21:24You give him as much consolation as possible,
00:21:26but at one point,
00:21:28you set your boundaries.
00:21:30It is not possible for me more than this.
00:21:32I will meet my parents.
00:21:34If my parents are sick,
00:21:36then definitely I will go.
00:21:38Because the more she will be away from her family,
00:21:40the more she will grow in her habit.
00:21:42She is not married yet.
00:21:44She will keep doing it to please them.
00:21:46It will become a habit of her life.
00:21:48It will become a habit
00:21:50and the other person will not be satisfied.
00:21:52If there is no basis of doubt,
00:21:54then he will need as much consolation as possible.
00:21:56And definitely
00:21:58not meeting his parents
00:22:00for a whole year
00:22:02would not have happened suddenly.
00:22:04It started with small things.
00:22:06Marriage is not that
00:22:08the husband has tied a slave to himself.
00:22:10His doubt has been fossilized.
00:22:12It is completely cemented in his mind.
00:22:14And that girl
00:22:16may not have received
00:22:18so much support from her family.
00:22:20If she is not coming for a year,
00:22:22then obviously the family members
00:22:24would also want her to settle with her husband.
00:22:26When you will not get the support of your family,
00:22:28then what else will she do?
00:22:30She has to tolerate.
00:22:32Parents are afraid
00:22:34that the girl's family will be ruined.
00:22:36But for this,
00:22:38the girl should not get married
00:22:40when she is standing on her feet.
00:22:42She has to set a boundary
00:22:44for herself.
00:22:46Otherwise, she will never be satisfied.
00:22:48If she is financially strong,
00:22:50then she will set boundaries.
00:22:52If she is dependent, then it will be very difficult.
00:22:54It is also important to be emotionally strong.
00:22:56Exactly.
00:22:58Not only financially,
00:23:00but also emotionally.
00:23:02We will come back after a short break.
00:23:04We will continue.
00:23:06Maybe this conversation will help you.
00:23:08Good morning.
00:23:12Welcome.
00:23:14Welcome back.
00:23:16Good morning, Pakistan.
00:23:18Doubts are a poison
00:23:20that you eat from inside
00:23:22and you don't know.
00:23:24We used to hear about heart diseases
00:23:26in the olden days.
00:23:28A grandmother passed away.
00:23:30She had TB.
00:23:32She only knew about TB at that time.
00:23:34She didn't know that it is also a disease.
00:23:36So, every elderly person
00:23:38died because of TB.
00:23:40Who gave her TB?
00:23:42Who caused her TB?
00:23:44Let's move to the next topic.
00:23:46Ayesha is with us.
00:23:48Greetings.
00:23:50Greetings.
00:23:52This is happening with me.
00:23:54I have been married
00:23:56for 1.5 years.
00:23:58Before marriage, I used to work.
00:24:00I have been working for a long time.
00:24:02When the marriage proposal was being finalized,
00:24:04it was decided that
00:24:06I will continue my job after marriage.
00:24:08When I got married
00:24:10and started working,
00:24:12my mother-in-law had some issues
00:24:14that I shouldn't
00:24:16dress up like this
00:24:18and shouldn't come at this time.
00:24:20My husband was very supportive throughout.
00:24:22He never had any issues
00:24:24because we already had an understanding.
00:24:26He used to work
00:24:28and we used to manage
00:24:30financially.
00:24:32Then my mother-in-law started having issues
00:24:34that I am not taking care of the house,
00:24:36I am not taking care of the house,
00:24:38I am not wearing proper clothes
00:24:40and I am not coming at the right time.
00:24:42There is a lot of traffic on the roads.
00:24:44There are a lot of things.
00:24:46She transferred these issues
00:24:48to my husband.
00:24:50My husband became suspicious.
00:24:52He was never suspicious.
00:24:54He started checking my phone
00:24:56and started calling me
00:24:58at the office time.
00:25:00Even if I don't answer the call,
00:25:02he used to call my colleagues
00:25:05and this happened.
00:25:07This matter reached to such an extent
00:25:09that he threw away my office laptop
00:25:11and said that I won't do the job.
00:25:13Because of this,
00:25:15we fought a lot
00:25:17and I was sent to my house.
00:25:19Now I am not able to go to the office
00:25:21because I can't face anyone in the office
00:25:23because this matter has reached there.
00:25:25I have been at my mother's house for a month
00:25:27and there is no solution for this.
00:25:31What should Neelam do at this time?
00:25:33Look,
00:25:35you will have to choose.
00:25:37You can see that
00:25:39she is getting such an extreme reaction
00:25:41on doing your job.
00:25:43Again, you have to see
00:25:45where this will end.
00:25:47More than your husband,
00:25:49I think you need to talk to your mother-in-law
00:25:51because your husband
00:25:53had faith in you.
00:25:55He didn't have this concern.
00:25:57Maybe he was prepared
00:25:59that you will come and work.
00:26:01But when the other person
00:26:03keeps sending you messages
00:26:05that you are making a mistake
00:26:07or that you don't know
00:26:09what is happening
00:26:11and when you keep getting
00:26:13such messages,
00:26:15we get influenced.
00:26:17A drop of water
00:26:19can make a hole
00:26:21in a stone.
00:26:23When you are getting drilled
00:26:25and your mother is saying
00:26:27that she is your mother,
00:26:29unfortunately,
00:26:31the concept of manhood
00:26:33has also been portrayed wrongly.
00:26:35Until you are in control
00:26:37and until you
00:26:39keep it in your power,
00:26:41you are not a real husband.
00:26:43This is also unhealthy.
00:26:45This happens often because
00:26:47the world is changing.
00:26:49Now the girls work
00:26:51and support the family.
00:26:53It is not possible to survive on one's salary.
00:26:55The situation has become like this.
00:26:57The men should also be prepared
00:26:59that things will be different now.
00:27:01If she is a teacher,
00:27:03she will come at 2 or 3 o'clock.
00:27:05But if she works in an office,
00:27:07she will come at 5 or 6 o'clock.
00:27:09Just like it happens with women
00:27:11that you have overtime.
00:27:13If you are not okay with this,
00:27:15then you should say
00:27:17that we don't want a working person.
00:27:19Or you should be prepared
00:27:21that this will happen.
00:27:23In this matter, it is more important
00:27:25for a woman to explain
00:27:27to her husband
00:27:29if she is a mature
00:27:31and calm woman.
00:27:33Maybe she should also
00:27:35compromise a little.
00:27:37Like she said,
00:27:39how to wear clothes.
00:27:41Every house has different norms
00:27:43and values.
00:27:45You have to be a little flexible
00:27:47about the environment of the house.
00:27:49After marriage,
00:27:51the girls are very free
00:27:53But still,
00:27:55parents also put restrictions
00:27:57on what to wear
00:27:59and what not to wear.
00:28:01It is not that the girl is free.
00:28:03But the thing to be updated
00:28:05is that where she is
00:28:07or if she is late.
00:28:09Maybe your parents
00:28:11will not keep as much check and balance
00:28:13as your in-laws.
00:28:15If your husband is one hour late
00:28:17and you were sitting in a meeting,
00:28:19then maybe he will have more anxiety
00:28:21or maybe he will ask you
00:28:23why you are late.
00:28:25Generally,
00:28:27the thing that helps
00:28:29is to reassure your husband
00:28:31that I was here
00:28:33and I was doing this.
00:28:35Usually,
00:28:37there is a slight doubt
00:28:39when you give a message
00:28:41to that person
00:28:43that I was doing this
00:28:45and this.
00:28:47If I know that my meeting is scheduled
00:28:49for 2 o'clock,
00:28:51then I will message my husband.
00:28:53Because we can't ask you
00:28:55how dare you.
00:28:57Life does not go like that.
00:28:59Many other women
00:29:01would have seen our show
00:29:03and asked us
00:29:05how dare they ask us.
00:29:07We have to live
00:29:09with a balance.
00:29:11If you are living in a joint family
00:29:13and your mother-in-law is asking you
00:29:15a question,
00:29:17then you should ask your husband
00:29:19where you were
00:29:21and why you were late.
00:29:23Similarly, they have a right
00:29:25to know why we stand up
00:29:27for women's rights.
00:29:29I am saying that
00:29:31we should not put everything
00:29:33in the category of doubt.
00:29:35There can be concern
00:29:37and worry.
00:29:39If the word is mother-in-law,
00:29:41then why do we see her
00:29:43with hatred?
00:29:45If I don't come home,
00:29:47it doesn't mean
00:29:49that I am roaming around.
00:29:51She is my son's wife
00:29:53so it is my concern
00:29:55that she is fine.
00:29:57There are Google apps
00:29:59to track where you are.
00:30:01Exactly.
00:30:03There are many things
00:30:05to end the doubt.
00:30:07I don't have a thief in my heart.
00:30:09This is a Google app
00:30:11for the whole family.
00:30:13I don't remember
00:30:15which road I was standing on
00:30:17when the petrol ran out
00:30:19or I got stuck in traffic.
00:30:21But Nida,
00:30:23if she crosses the line
00:30:25then it gets on your nerves.
00:30:27Exactly.
00:30:29If I am standing
00:30:31in those shoes,
00:30:33then my life will be a mess.
00:30:35I have to give an explanation
00:30:37for everything.
00:30:39Then there comes this thing
00:30:42where there is no credibility.
00:30:44Someone will ask me
00:30:46why this happened.
00:30:48I don't trust myself.
00:30:50Relationships
00:30:52break down
00:30:54because of this.
00:30:56We are trying
00:30:58to make it work.
00:31:00Some compromises are made
00:31:02by husbands, wives
00:31:04and some by parents.
00:31:06Whether it is a girl
00:31:08or a boy.
00:31:10They have to compromise
00:31:12the whole family.
00:31:14But some people
00:31:16by nature need more
00:31:18reassurance.
00:31:20One of your parents
00:31:22must be very worried.
00:31:24If you have gone to a wedding
00:31:26then one parent must be awake.
00:31:28If you say that you have a key
00:31:30and this person will drop you,
00:31:32they will say that they can't sleep.
00:31:34Usually the mother is awake.
00:31:36They are more worried.
00:31:38The person who is more worried
00:31:40needs more reassurance.
00:31:42But if
00:31:44he is coming on credibility
00:31:46and you are coming in an
00:31:48over-explanation mode
00:31:50where you have to give an explanation
00:31:52and the stress is increasing
00:31:54then first you have to set boundaries.
00:31:56I can update you
00:31:58and tell you about my things
00:32:00but you have to trust my word.
00:32:02You have to trust me.
00:32:04When women
00:32:06do this to men
00:32:08they also get worried
00:32:10and irritated.
00:32:12So
00:32:14don't bring that relationship
00:32:16to the edge
00:32:18where you start getting irritated.
00:32:20Stop it.
00:32:22I will say this again and again
00:32:24that when two husband and wife
00:32:26get married
00:32:28it is a religious thing
00:32:30for each other's peace.
00:32:32It is not for
00:32:34happiness.
00:32:36If you are worried
00:32:38then what is the point
00:32:40of worrying your wife
00:32:42and your husband?
00:32:44The main thing
00:32:46about a happy life
00:32:48is trust.
00:32:50You have to decide
00:32:52how much you can trust your spouse
00:32:54and how much you can worry
00:32:56and how much you can be concerned.
00:32:58Everyone is different.
00:33:00You don't have to
00:33:02worry about your friend's husband
00:33:04if he is in your favour.
00:33:06Or
00:33:08if your friend's wife
00:33:10has eloped with someone
00:33:12then your wife will also elope.
00:33:14Not everyone is the same.
00:33:16You have to look at your reality
00:33:18and make your own thoughts.
00:33:20Your connection
00:33:22with that person
00:33:24has proved itself.
00:33:26In the second case
00:33:28both of them are newly married.
00:33:30It has been a year or two
00:33:32and they are still in the phase
00:33:34of understanding each other
00:33:36where these problems are arising.
00:33:38You have to decide
00:33:40to what extent
00:33:42both the women
00:33:44can compromise
00:33:46while understanding
00:33:48their husband's nature
00:33:50and where they feel
00:33:52they can't express their feelings.
00:33:54She is still at home.
00:33:56How do you
00:33:58start this relationship
00:34:00again?
00:34:02First thing is
00:34:04if you don't want to get involved
00:34:06then talk to your husband.
00:34:10Is it possible that
00:34:12I leave my job for some time?
00:34:14Yes, you can.
00:34:16Sometimes you have to take such decisions
00:34:18in life.
00:34:20Before leaving your job
00:34:22consult your husband
00:34:24about what you want from him.
00:34:26Give him the power of decision.
00:34:28Do you want me to leave my job
00:34:30or do you want me
00:34:32to update you constantly?
00:34:34When she will start her job again
00:34:36she will have to start from zero.
00:34:38Her career is important for everyone
00:34:40whether she is a woman or a man.
00:34:42Career or marriage is important.
00:34:44She has to choose.
00:34:46It is a difficult choice
00:34:48but you have to choose
00:34:50which difficulty you want to face.
00:34:52When she will
00:34:54directly talk to her husband
00:34:56she will get messages
00:34:58about what she should do
00:35:00and what not to do.
00:35:02Her husband has a belief
00:35:04that she has a fear.
00:35:06Just like that
00:35:08she has a fear
00:35:10and insecurity.
00:35:12She has a fear.
00:35:14Once the fear is gone
00:35:16all the problems will be gone.
00:35:18People are control freaks.
00:35:20There are men who are control freaks
00:35:22and their friends
00:35:24come to them
00:35:26and ask how they have managed their wife.
00:35:28That is possible
00:35:30only at home.
00:35:32If there is a control freak
00:35:34and he comes to you
00:35:36and you can't see him
00:35:38and you want to spend your life with him
00:35:40then what should you do?
00:35:42There is a need
00:35:44behind the behavior
00:35:46of a control freak.
00:35:48No one does anything randomly.
00:35:50I need a plan
00:35:52and a fear
00:35:54that if I don't stay in control
00:35:56then what will happen?
00:35:58People believe
00:36:00that they should know everything
00:36:02so that they can manage
00:36:04if there is a problem.
00:36:06When we do couples therapy
00:36:08and see such cases
00:36:10husbands believe
00:36:12that their wife is innocent
00:36:14and she doesn't know
00:36:16how people react to her.
00:36:18He is over protective.
00:36:20He is not a negative person.
00:36:22He must be concerned.
00:36:24His behavior
00:36:26is definitely negative
00:36:28but his attachment
00:36:30is not negative.
00:36:32The relationship can be saved
00:36:34if we normalize
00:36:36his behavior
00:36:38and manage it.
00:36:40His wife is managing his behavior
00:36:42but his feelings
00:36:44are not reaching there
00:36:47because everything is happening
00:36:49on top of each other.
00:36:51Why did you do this?
00:36:53Why did I do that?
00:36:55We need to understand
00:36:57what he is trying to protect.
00:36:59His mother is feeding him
00:37:01and how she is affecting him.
00:37:03Maybe you don't see him
00:37:05and you are careless
00:37:07and he cheated you
00:37:09in business.
00:37:11When such messages come
00:37:13to a person
00:37:15100%
00:37:17Instead of cooking
00:37:19or putting water on fire
00:37:21don't put oil.
00:37:23Exactly.
00:37:25A mother-in-law who has never
00:37:27gone through work
00:37:29or is not a career woman
00:37:31it is difficult for her
00:37:33to accept that
00:37:35she has worked hard
00:37:37and managed the kitchen
00:37:39and she is wearing
00:37:41nice clothes
00:37:43That is why she is jealous.
00:37:45A lot of mothers-in-law
00:37:47have this issue
00:37:49that she is not honest
00:37:51and some people
00:37:53are jealous.
00:37:55On the other hand
00:37:57you are saying that it is a mother-in-law
00:37:59but on behalf of the daughter-in-law
00:38:01if she can clear herself
00:38:03that why did I come late
00:38:05and for what reason
00:38:07if she has a problem with the clothes
00:38:09then she can wear accordingly.
00:38:11On behalf of the daughter-in-law
00:38:13it is difficult
00:38:15to talk to her.
00:38:17Often it happens that
00:38:19husbands
00:38:21or partners
00:38:23not just husbands
00:38:25but wives also want
00:38:27their partner to keep them
00:38:29on priority.
00:38:31If I give her a choice
00:38:33to choose her family
00:38:35then she can take my name too.
00:38:37Think about it
00:38:39When we are in a relationship
00:38:41we are all different
00:38:43then why is this job so important
00:38:45and why is she fighting with me
00:38:47for this job
00:38:49then that job
00:38:51becomes a matter of ego.
00:38:53Why a job?
00:38:55Why did you give me a job?
00:38:57You need to address this too.
00:38:59If this is the thought
00:39:01of her husband
00:39:03then that means
00:39:05he is just trying to get your attention
00:39:07If you improve this relationship
00:39:09then maybe he will say
00:39:11Forget about the job
00:39:13take a leave for a few days
00:39:15It doesn't feel bad
00:39:17if someone is earning
00:39:19half the burden
00:39:21if the wife is earning
00:39:23It doesn't feel bad
00:39:25if someone is sharing
00:39:27half the burden
00:39:29Take a leave for a few days
00:39:31and find a solution
00:39:33They say
00:39:35If the government
00:39:37closed a road
00:39:39then take a new road
00:39:41If the government closed a new road
00:39:43then take a new road
00:39:45Life is like this
00:39:47If the roads are closed
00:39:49then there are many other ways
00:39:51The condition is
00:39:53whether you want to live with it
00:39:55or not
00:39:57If you don't want to
00:39:59then even if the roads are open
00:40:01you will see them closed
00:40:03Welcome back
00:40:11Welcome back
00:40:13Good morning Pakistan
00:40:15So our topic is
00:40:17Today's Doubt
00:40:19The two stories we heard
00:40:21were about men's doubt on women
00:40:23Now we are hearing this a lot
00:40:25We used to see that wives
00:40:27are doubting men
00:40:29Their life has become hell
00:40:31But now
00:40:33we are hearing more stories
00:40:35that men are not less
00:40:37Their doubt is so dangerous
00:40:39that lives and relationships
00:40:41end
00:40:43Talking about work life
00:40:45I guess it is very important
00:40:47that before marriage
00:40:49boy and girl
00:40:51within your
00:40:53culturally permissible rule
00:40:55let them talk
00:40:57Talk to each other
00:40:59Settle all these issues
00:41:01and then talk about marriage
00:41:05Don't rush marriage
00:41:07Don't get married in a hurry
00:41:09You will get to know
00:41:11about families
00:41:13When you are arranging marriage
00:41:15some boys
00:41:17already know
00:41:19that I don't want a working lady
00:41:21I want to marry a housewife
00:41:23So everyone has their own demands
00:41:25Like girl's demands
00:41:27Like I want a son-in-law
00:41:29who is a government officer
00:41:31I don't want a doctor
00:41:33I want an engineer
00:41:35Everyone has their own demands
00:41:37Before marriage
00:41:39Let's tell them
00:41:41that I don't want a working lady
00:41:43Most of them say
00:41:45that I want a housewife
00:41:47That's right
00:41:49Many people say
00:41:51that they want doctors
00:41:53After marriage
00:41:55Many people say
00:41:57that they want doctors
00:41:59After marriage
00:42:01If she is a doctor
00:42:03She will work
00:42:05After marriage
00:42:07Parents have their own rules
00:42:09Before marriage
00:42:11Let's talk about it
00:42:13Let's talk about it
00:42:15Let's talk about it
00:42:17Let's talk about it
00:42:19Let's talk about it
00:42:21Let's talk about it
00:42:24Let's talk about it
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00:49:02Let's talk about it
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00:49:16Let's talk about it
00:49:18Let's talk about it
00:49:20Let's talk about it
00:49:22Let's talk about it
00:49:24Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:26Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:28Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:30Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:32Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:34Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:36Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:38Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:40Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:42Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:44Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:46Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:48Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:50Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:52Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:54Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:56Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:49:58Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:00Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:02Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:04Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:06Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:08Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:10Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:12Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:14Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:16Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:18Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:20Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:22Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:24Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:26Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:28Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:30Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:32Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:34Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:36Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:38Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:40Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:42Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:44Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:46Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:48Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:50Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:52Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:54Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:56Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:50:58Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:00Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:02Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:04Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:06Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:08Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:10Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:12Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:14Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:16Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:18Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:20Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:22Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:24Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:26Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:28Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:30Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:32Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:34Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:36Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:38Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:40Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:42Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:44Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:46Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:48Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:50Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:52Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:54Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:56Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:51:58Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:00Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:02Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:04Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:06Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:08Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:10Let's say I pick up my husband's phone
00:52:12Let's discuss about
00:52:14Let's discuss about
00:52:16Let's discuss about
00:52:18Let's discuss about
00:52:20Let's discuss about
00:52:22Let's discuss about
00:52:24Let's discuss about
00:52:26Let's discuss about
00:52:28Let's discuss about
00:52:30Let's discuss about
00:52:32Let's discuss about
00:52:34Let's discuss about
00:52:36Let's discuss about
00:52:38Let's discuss about
00:52:40Let's discuss about
00:52:42Let's discuss about
00:52:44Let's discuss about
00:52:46Let's discuss about
00:52:48Let's discuss about
00:52:50Let's discuss about
00:52:52Let's discuss about
00:52:54Let's discuss about
00:52:56Let's discuss about
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00:53:00Let's discuss about
00:53:02Let's discuss about
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