Good Girls Gone Wild Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Oh, bad.
00:00:31Hello?
00:00:32Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:37I mean, it's only two days away and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:52So I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:56Sue, um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:59Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him, you know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What?
00:01:08But you can't.
00:01:09I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:12Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:14You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:16This is bad.
00:01:18You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:20She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:29Come on, Lexi.
00:01:43So girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:47Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:51But this is the big one eight.
00:01:53I mean, every year since our moms met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:57But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:00So what's something we've never done before?
00:02:03Mushrooms?
00:02:04No, not like that.
00:02:06Like something nice.
00:02:08Like maybe a trip.
00:02:09Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:11No.
00:02:13Sorry, Sue, I have a date.
00:02:16So do I.
00:02:18Sorry, Sue.
00:02:19Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:20We'll figure it out.
00:02:28Oh, flowers.
00:02:33Are these from you?
00:02:34Yeah, sure.
00:02:35Here you go.
00:02:37No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:40I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:43I guess you still make me nervous.
00:02:48Oh, Jake.
00:02:50Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:56Uh, no, Jake.
00:02:57Not yet.
00:02:58When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:01The best night of my life.
00:03:02It will be.
00:03:03I promise.
00:03:04It'll always be amazing.
00:03:06With you and me.
00:03:07Together.
00:03:16Jake, no.
00:03:17I have to go.
00:03:18I have to work on my art project.
00:03:20You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:26Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:29The Saturday?
00:03:30Of course.
00:03:34Thanks.
00:03:36Okay, bye.
00:03:49Oh, baby.
00:03:50You're so hot.
00:03:51I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:52Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:54What was your name again?
00:03:55Rob.
00:03:56Sex guy.
00:04:01Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:04:05Yeah, right.
00:04:06I bet.
00:04:13Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:16Oh, no.
00:04:17Does not compute.
00:04:19Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:25Oh, huh.
00:04:26Hi.
00:04:29When did you get home?
00:04:30So, is it true?
00:04:31Yes, it is.
00:04:33It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:37I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:44So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:47Lexi, tell her.
00:04:48Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:52On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:54Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 29th.
00:04:59Eight.
00:05:00Maybe.
00:05:02Listen, guys.
00:05:03I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:09I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:18But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:20We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:23Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:27It's not Jake.
00:05:29It's the male ideal.
00:05:31Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:35Right.
00:05:37Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:39Me and it kind of sucks.
00:05:40I'm not really an artist.
00:05:41Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:43The point is we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:47And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:49I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:51Then I'll know it's right.
00:05:52Look, I can go either way.
00:05:54I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:59I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:01Besides, I know I'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:05But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:10You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:15Where are you going at 630 in the morning?
00:06:18To church.
00:06:19To pray for you.
00:06:20I want to be first in line.
00:06:22I'm getting this is...
00:06:24Yeah, me too.
00:06:34Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:36It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:38I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:40Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:49I mean, not me.
00:06:50I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:54I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:56Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:59But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing,
00:07:03but there was nothing there.
00:07:05Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:07My best friends.
00:07:09They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:11Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:14What?
00:07:15No.
00:07:16Like, sex.
00:07:17Like, intercourse.
00:07:19With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:21I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:24All the way.
00:07:25Go all the way.
00:07:27What are you...
00:07:28What?
00:07:29What?
00:07:30What?
00:07:31What?
00:07:32What?
00:07:33What?
00:07:34What?
00:07:38How could you do this?
00:07:40You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:44What?
00:07:50Yes.
00:07:51Yes.
00:07:52Run.
00:07:53Run.
00:07:54Home run.
00:07:57Damn it.
00:07:59Fucking Yankees.
00:08:02Sorry.
00:08:05♪
00:08:25Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:27Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:29I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:31Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:35I have an announcement to make.
00:08:37I want to do it.
00:08:39Do you hear me?
00:08:40I want to do it.
00:08:42This weekend.
00:08:43On our birthday.
00:08:45Do what?
00:08:47It.
00:08:48Screw.
00:08:49You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:52You know, shagging.
00:08:54Fucking.
00:08:57You do.
00:08:58But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:00And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:03Oh, I got a sign.
00:09:04At church.
00:09:05Really?
00:09:06Well.
00:09:07Okay, great.
00:09:09We're all in then.
00:09:11So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:14Right?
00:09:16Right.
00:09:18I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:28Hey, Frank.
00:09:30Hi, Sue.
00:09:32Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:34I don't know.
00:09:35Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:36Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:38Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:44Wait, are you back?
00:09:47Hey.
00:09:48I was wondering.
00:09:49We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:51It's for our birthday.
00:09:52Do you want to come?
00:09:54Do you think he can see up near shore?
00:09:59Okay.
00:10:08Well, the house looks done.
00:10:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:12We finally turn 18.
00:10:14And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:16Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at two.
00:10:19So, okay.
00:10:20We know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:22Jake.
00:10:23And I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:25But Sue, who are you going to pick to pop your chain?
00:10:27It's easy.
00:10:28I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:33What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:35I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:37Sure.
00:10:46My soulmate.
00:10:49Chris?
00:10:51Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:55I mean...
00:10:56What?
00:10:57No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:58He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:01Plus, his name's Chris.
00:11:02It's a sign.
00:11:03Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:09What?
00:11:10He does not.
00:11:11Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:13He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:15With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:19Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:22Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:24Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:27See you in the morning.
00:11:34I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:36I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:54You're so perfect.
00:12:24I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:54I'm sorry.
00:13:00Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:16Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:25Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:38Oh my gosh.
00:13:39They're coming.
00:13:41Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:46Ew, why?
00:13:48It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:49It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:50I'm gonna sweat.
00:13:51You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:53It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:55It's stupid.
00:13:56Just screw him.
00:13:57That's what he wants.
00:13:58That's what all guys want.
00:13:59Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:01Oh, Christ.
00:14:02You never have your mouth, too.
00:14:04Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:07not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:09You're an idiot.
00:14:10A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:13Thank you.
00:14:14Guys, seriously, come on.
00:14:16Hurry up.
00:14:18Oh.
00:14:22Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:24I love it.
00:14:25Um...
00:14:26You should put that down, though,
00:14:28because it's like...
00:14:29It's very fragile.
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:31Put it down.
00:14:32Hurry up.
00:14:36Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:37Yeah.
00:14:48Oh, my God.
00:14:57Oh, he's parted in half!
00:14:59Whoa!
00:15:02Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:15:03Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:15:05Nice!
00:15:06Ha-ha-ha!
00:15:08Come on.
00:15:10Check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:14Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:17No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:20That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:23but be careful, it stings.
00:15:24And the other one is edible miscellaneous.
00:15:27Oh, how did you know?
00:15:29I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:32Buster, you're such a cutie.
00:15:35Please don't touch my service dog.
00:15:37All right, sorry.
00:15:38Are you okay now?
00:15:39Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:40Okay.
00:15:41I'll see you in a bit.
00:15:45I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:47This is crazy.
00:15:48Jake!
00:15:49Hi!
00:15:50Hey, babe.
00:15:51Happy birthday.
00:15:54Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:56I didn't either.
00:15:58Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:01What?
00:16:02You want a beer?
00:16:05No.
00:16:09Oh, hon.
00:16:14I have your present here.
00:16:15I'll give it to you later when the time's right.
00:16:19You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:21And I have a present for you
00:16:23that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:26Hey, bro.
00:16:27We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:30What bet?
00:16:34All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:36Hey.
00:16:37Hey.
00:16:38How you doing?
00:16:39Hi.
00:16:48Check it out!
00:16:50Dare me?
00:16:51Dare me?
00:17:08Oh, dude.
00:17:09Look at those.
00:17:10Are those real?
00:17:11Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:12Hey!
00:17:13Dude, move!
00:17:14Come on.
00:17:15Lame.
00:17:16Oh, all right.
00:17:17Okay.
00:17:18I'll see you guys later.
00:17:19Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:20He says by the end of the day,
00:17:21I will be motorboating those kiddies.
00:17:23Yeah!
00:17:25They're fake anyways.
00:17:26Who cares?
00:17:28Okay.
00:17:31Who cares?
00:17:32Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:33I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:39No, it's your birthday.
00:17:40Here, let me.
00:17:41Joanna, no.
00:17:42Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:44What?
00:17:46I win.
00:17:48Hey.
00:17:49Hey.
00:17:50Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:51I put this stuff on,
00:17:52but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:55Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:56I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:57He just, like, disappeared.
00:18:10Are these real?
00:18:12Of course they are.
00:18:15How come I've never met you before?
00:18:17I don't know.
00:18:18I don't think he'd be around.
00:18:19Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:20Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:23Maybe upstairs.
00:18:24I don't know.
00:18:26Maybe he went to go get my birthday present.
00:18:28That's probably where he went.
00:18:33Liquid Courage?
00:18:35Yeah.
00:18:36Atta girl.
00:18:40Vodka Cranberry?
00:18:41Shirley Temple.
00:18:44Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:45I gotta go meet Rod.
00:18:47Sue?
00:18:48Are you okay?
00:18:49Sue?
00:18:50Relax.
00:18:53They're just lies, okay?
00:18:54Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:55Seriously.
00:18:56You're gonna be fine.
00:18:57Is Chris here?
00:19:03Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:06No.
00:19:07He does not have a gay face.
00:19:08I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:10I'm gonna do it.
00:19:16I'm gonna do this.
00:19:17Come back.
00:19:20Hey, you can do this.
00:19:22Just act like a slut.
00:19:26Just pretend.
00:19:28Here, Lex.
00:19:35Yeah, well, my favorite character is a slut,
00:19:37but I'm not a slut.
00:19:38I'm not a slut.
00:19:39I'm not a slut.
00:19:40I'm not a slut.
00:19:41I'm not a slut.
00:19:42I'm not a slut.
00:19:43I'm not a slut.
00:19:44I'm not a slut.
00:19:45Yeah, well, my favorite chapter is Son of a whore.
00:19:48Chris.
00:19:49Hi.
00:19:51Can I talk to you?
00:19:54In private?
00:19:55No.
00:20:09Hey, Lexi.
00:20:10Hey, Lexi.
00:20:11What?
00:20:12Chris.
00:20:13You're so sexy.
00:20:16Ever since you played Jesus at camp,
00:20:18I've just...
00:20:19I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:22And I really want to...
00:20:25Oh!
00:20:26What are you doing?
00:20:27Is that wrong?
00:20:28Sue!
00:20:29What's gotten into you?
00:20:30Nothing.
00:20:31I'm sorry.
00:20:32I don't know how to do this.
00:20:33Sue.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:36Sue.
00:20:38I understand these urges.
00:20:43And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:46Really?
00:20:47You do?
00:20:48I do.
00:20:49I really do.
00:20:51I like you too.
00:20:52Really?
00:20:53You do?
00:20:54I do.
00:20:55I really do.
00:20:56It's just...
00:20:59I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:03Right.
00:21:04Lexi said you were...
00:21:05Jesus.
00:21:06Oh.
00:21:07Batman.
00:21:09Of course.
00:21:10What did you think?
00:21:11Oh, nothing.
00:21:13So we can still do this then?
00:21:15Oh, Sue.
00:21:18You know, for me,
00:21:21when I think about that man
00:21:24who died for our sins,
00:21:26when I think about him
00:21:27up there on that cross,
00:21:29so helpless,
00:21:30yet so muscular,
00:21:34with his strong thighs
00:21:37crossed over each other
00:21:39so delicately
00:21:41beneath that ragged loincloth,
00:21:44growing so hot, so sweaty
00:21:48under that hot, hot sun,
00:21:51I just feel such compassion.
00:21:55I think about those things too.
00:21:57So you understand why I can't do this?
00:22:01Not really.
00:22:02I just find it too hard.
00:22:04It is to give in to carnal pleasure
00:22:08when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:12So...
00:22:23We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:24And they were gonna tell me through these on.
00:22:26Hey, hi.
00:22:27Whoa!
00:22:29Have you seen Jake?
00:22:30Uh, no. No.
00:22:32All right.
00:22:35Okay.
00:22:36All right, focus, focus.
00:22:37All right, focus, focus.
00:22:44Oh, there he is.
00:22:48Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:23:03How could you?
00:23:08Sue, what happened?
00:23:09Did you guys do it?
00:23:11Sue?
00:23:12He doesn't want me.
00:23:14Because he's gay.
00:23:16No, he's not.
00:23:17He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:19Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:21The only reason you even liked him
00:23:22is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you?
00:23:25Look, the only way you're gonna find out
00:23:28what kind of man you really want
00:23:30is to know what kind of woman you really are
00:23:33deep inside.
00:23:35What?
00:23:36Come with me.
00:23:37Where?
00:23:38To meet your dark side.
00:23:46Out.
00:23:47Everyone out.
00:23:57Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:24:06Okay.
00:24:13I really can't.
00:24:15I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:17I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:22I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:27Sue?
00:24:29Can you see it?
00:24:31Sue?
00:24:34I'm almost...
00:24:36I'm almost there.
00:24:40Ah!
00:24:42What?
00:24:44What?
00:24:45Sue, what happened?
00:24:46What did you see?
00:24:47A raccoon?
00:24:49What?
00:24:50You overshot it.
00:24:51Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:59I can't.
00:25:00Please don't make me do that again.
00:25:02Okay, fine.
00:25:03Fine.
00:25:04I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:07What?
00:25:08You really need an orgasm.
00:25:11Honestly, I don't know how you expected
00:25:13to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:14when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:16This really has to be your first step.
00:25:18Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:20Coming.
00:25:21Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:23Just find it and use it.
00:25:25Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:28It's black.
00:25:29It vibrates.
00:25:32Come on, Rod.
00:25:33Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:36And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:50Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:55Oh!
00:25:56Bullseye!
00:25:58Oh, yeah!
00:26:03Bang! Bang!
00:26:06Good boy. Straighten up.
00:26:08Good boy. Good boy.
00:26:11He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:14I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:26:16That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:18What a bitch.
00:26:20Fortunately, when you're blind,
00:26:21you get used to things like that.
00:26:23Ah!
00:26:33Oh, my God.
00:26:50Oh, shit.
00:26:55What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:02Oh, shit.
00:27:15Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:17Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:20He was getting a blowjob by some pink-eared girl.
00:27:23For sure?
00:27:25I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:27so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:29Jesus, he's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:31No, it's awful.
00:27:33I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:36Oh, shit.
00:27:41It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:43I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:44Okay.
00:27:46He's looking for you.
00:27:47He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:49Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:51I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:53No, you can't just leave.
00:27:55Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:58Maybe I should confront him.
00:27:59No. He'll either deny it
00:28:01or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:03Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:04I see only one option.
00:28:07I'm leaving.
00:28:08Revenge sex.
00:28:10Revenge what? What does that even mean?
00:28:12It means you find a guy,
00:28:13you screw his brains out,
00:28:14and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:18Revenge sex.
00:28:20Revenge what? What does that even mean?
00:28:22It means you find a guy,
00:28:23you screw his brains out,
00:28:24and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:27But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:29He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:30I mean, why would...
00:28:31He's just into other girls.
00:28:33Trust me. He'll care.
00:28:35Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:37To his ego.
00:28:39To screw someone else
00:28:40when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:42Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:28:44better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:48No, I couldn't.
00:28:49Plus, I mean, there's...
00:28:51There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:53Eric. He's perfect.
00:28:55Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:57I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:29:00He likes your type.
00:29:01Really? And what type is that?
00:29:03Slutty.
00:29:05Yeah.
00:29:06Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:07I fooled around with him once.
00:29:08He had this great tongue ring.
00:29:10Oh, no.
00:29:11I could never fool around
00:29:12with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:14Okay, then. Fine.
00:29:15We will find someone else.
00:29:17Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:23Okay, what does it matter?
00:29:24That I fooled around with him.
00:29:25I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:29:27No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:29Fine.
00:29:30If you want to live the rest of your life
00:29:32knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing
00:29:34to make your boyfriend feel
00:29:35like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:29:37and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence
00:29:40and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:43But honestly, I don't know
00:29:44how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:50But honestly, I don't know
00:29:51how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:55I don't know.
00:29:56Trust me.
00:29:57It's going to work.
00:30:03I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:07Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:08You look okay.
00:30:09Don't you jackass.
00:30:10Oh, no.
00:30:22Hey.
00:30:24Happy birthday.
00:30:26Thanks.
00:30:48Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:50So...
00:30:53Happy birthday.
00:30:56Do you know that most people think
00:30:57that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:31:00But it's actually from us, U.S.
00:31:03America?
00:31:06United States?
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:09Right.
00:31:10Of course.
00:31:14I know where we live.
00:31:16Right.
00:31:17I know where we live.
00:31:18Right.
00:31:19Of course.
00:31:24Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:31:25Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:27Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:28Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:29I just...
00:31:30No, you're fine.
00:31:43Jake!
00:31:45So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:48Oh.
00:31:49I'm sorry.
00:31:50It?
00:31:51What, um...
00:31:52It.
00:31:53Like monkey bone in and like pigs in a blanket.
00:31:57Get real nasty.
00:31:59Oh.
00:32:00Oh, you mean like...
00:32:03Right now?
00:32:04I mean, well, yeah.
00:32:06You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:09Yeah, sure.
00:32:10I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:11I just never realized that you...
00:32:15I mean...
00:32:20It's just...
00:32:22You're so...
00:32:25You're so beautiful.
00:32:26Okay, um...
00:32:28No kissing.
00:32:30Right.
00:32:32Of course.
00:32:33Sorry.
00:32:36So, um...
00:32:39Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:41Oh, wow.
00:32:42You wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:32:43Or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:46Now that you left over, you're not.
00:32:48You're fresh.
00:32:52Now that you left over, you're not.
00:32:54You're fresh.
00:32:56Organic.
00:32:58Yep.
00:33:00So, the wrap.
00:33:01Right.
00:33:03Um...
00:33:04Where's the, uh...
00:33:06The end is...
00:33:07The edge is like right over here.
00:33:08Oh, oh, yeah.
00:33:09Here it is.
00:33:10I see it.
00:33:11Let me just, uh...
00:33:12Got it.
00:33:14Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:15Oh, sorry.
00:33:16Sorry, sorry.
00:33:17It's okay.
00:33:19Do it again.
00:33:21Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:22I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:24You know what?
00:33:25Let me just lay you on the bed.
00:33:28Okay.
00:33:33Uh...
00:33:34Let me just see.
00:33:36Oh, here it is.
00:33:37I got it.
00:33:38All right.
00:33:39Pull it.
00:33:41Ah!
00:33:44Oh, jeez.
00:33:45Cheryl, are you...
00:33:46Are you okay?
00:33:47Help!
00:33:51Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:54Oh, jeez.
00:34:01Well, that was stupid.
00:34:04Yeah.
00:34:11How you doing tonight?
00:34:12You having a good time?
00:34:13Yeah?
00:34:14You good?
00:34:15Jake!
00:34:16I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:18What?
00:34:19I can't hear you.
00:34:21I need another beer.
00:34:23Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:24Jake!
00:34:25So how you doing?
00:34:26Upstairs.
00:34:27Yeah.
00:34:28Hold on.
00:34:29Take a piss.
00:34:30How much beer?
00:34:40I don't know.
00:34:59Finally.
00:35:00I, uh...
00:35:02Let me just get the blinds.
00:35:03Oh, no, no, no.
00:35:04No, no, no.
00:35:05Um...
00:35:06Don't worry about it.
00:35:07What?
00:35:08I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:12Oh.
00:35:14Well, okay.
00:35:15Okay.
00:35:29Finally.
00:35:30I, uh...
00:35:32Let me just get the blinds.
00:35:33Oh, no, no, no.
00:35:34No, no, no.
00:35:35Um...
00:35:36Don't worry about it.
00:35:37What?
00:35:38I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:42Oh.
00:35:44Well, okay.
00:35:45Okay.
00:36:07Okay.
00:36:31What are you doing?
00:36:32Uh...
00:36:34I think it's time.
00:36:36You know, to...
00:36:38Do it.
00:36:40Um, not yet.
00:36:41More foreplay.
00:36:42Huh?
00:36:43Oh.
00:36:49So good.
00:36:52Oh.
00:36:54Yep.
00:36:55Oh, my jaw.
00:36:56Jaw.
00:36:57Jaw.
00:36:58Jaw.
00:36:59What?
00:37:00What?
00:37:01Ah.
00:37:02Ah.
00:37:03Oh.
00:37:04Ah.
00:37:05Anything?
00:37:06I don't know.
00:37:08Ah.
00:37:09Are you okay?
00:37:13No, no, no, no, no.
00:37:14It's, uh...
00:37:15It's fine.
00:37:16I'm just, uh...
00:37:17Embarrassed.
00:37:18It's...
00:37:19Probably TMJ or...
00:37:22Fracture.
00:37:23Swollen.
00:37:25You sure you're okay?
00:37:26Yeah, yeah.
00:37:27I'm fine.
00:37:28Okay, great.
00:37:29Have fun.
00:37:30Oh.
00:37:32Oh.
00:37:35Now.
00:37:36Now.
00:37:37Let's do it now.
00:37:38No, not yet, not yet.
00:37:41All right, I'm gonna come.
00:37:42I'm gonna come up.
00:37:43Are you ready?
00:37:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:46No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:47Lexi!
00:37:48Lexi!
00:37:49Oh!
00:37:53No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:54Lexi!
00:37:55Lexi!
00:37:56Oh!
00:37:57Oh!
00:37:58No means no!
00:37:59Huh?
00:38:00Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:38:01I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:38:02It's been a really long time, and I just...
00:38:03I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:38:09Uh-oh.
00:38:12Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:15How you doing?
00:38:17How's it going?
00:38:18Good.
00:38:19Eric?
00:38:20Come...
00:38:21Eric, help me, I'm blind, I can't see anything.
00:38:24Excuse me.
00:38:28Cheryl's in here.
00:38:31Hey!
00:38:34What's up, bro?
00:38:36What the fuck is...
00:38:39Hey, wait!
00:38:41Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:49Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:38:53Damn it.
00:38:54I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:38:57Hey, you!
00:38:59You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:39:05I'm so sorry!
00:39:07I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:12What the...
00:39:29Oh!
00:39:32Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:35This party's ass.
00:39:39Yeah!
00:39:43This just isn't working out.
00:39:46Nothing.
00:39:47What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:52Lock your character, Amanda, watch this.
00:39:54Spark it up!
00:39:56Yes!
00:39:59Oh, man!
00:40:01I love this game!
00:40:02Where are the controllers? We gotta play.
00:40:03Here, here, here, here.
00:40:04Okay, let me find another one.
00:40:08Whoa!
00:40:10Look at this!
00:40:14Oh, man!
00:40:15Get that thing away!
00:40:16Jesus!
00:40:24Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:26Wasn't me.
00:40:31Whoa, whoa!
00:40:32Nice!
00:40:34Are you sitting on that or something?
00:40:37Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:38Nice, nice!
00:40:51Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:53Do you have the extra controller?
00:41:05Whoa!
00:41:07You are the controller.
00:41:08No, I just...
00:41:11I didn't, I swear, I...
00:41:23Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:25What's going on, man?
00:41:28It's okay.
00:41:29Hey, it's Sue.
00:41:40Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:42Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:45Oh, sure.
00:41:47Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:52You were?
00:41:54You mean...
00:41:56Yeah.
00:41:59Yeah.
00:42:00So you think we should give it a try?
00:42:03Could we go get a drink?
00:42:07Wow, your toilet's really...
00:42:12Do you know what?
00:42:13I gotta go.
00:42:14Happy birthday.
00:42:15No, Chris, no, that wasn't...
00:42:17I didn't...
00:42:18Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:22All we know, it's the end of the world.
00:42:31This is the worst idea ever.
00:42:34Never going to have sex.
00:42:36Ow.
00:42:53Hello?
00:42:54A little attention here.
00:42:56Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:43:03Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:05Oh, right.
00:43:06Sorry.
00:43:08Jeez, who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:12Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:15Screw it.
00:43:37Mmm.
00:44:07Oh.
00:44:09Oh.
00:44:10No.
00:44:11That was bad.
00:44:12That was so bad.
00:44:26Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:31I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:35Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:40Yes, it does.
00:44:42So you're JJ?
00:44:43Uh-uh.
00:45:05Hello.
00:45:06Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:45:08Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:10A nun.
00:45:11Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:18Please hold.
00:45:19Thank goodness.
00:45:241-900-CONFESSION.
00:45:25How may I be of service?
00:45:26It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:29I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:31One day?
00:45:33Ow!
00:45:38Is that too long?
00:45:39I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:42Go on.
00:45:43Okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:47Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did it.
00:45:50What's her problem?
00:45:51A washing machine touched her.
00:45:55Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:58All right, freak, time's up.
00:46:00What? But what do I do?
00:46:01Just unplug the thing.
00:46:03No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:06Well, then be happy.
00:46:08You found the perfect man.
00:46:10I'm serious.
00:46:11Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:14I'll tell you this.
00:46:16Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:19No contusions?
00:46:21You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:23It's not in the Bible.
00:46:25So the washing machine could touch me?
00:46:28So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:31Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:34Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:37Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:42Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:45He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:50Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:53Because I'm a nun.
00:46:55Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:58Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:47:00Who'd have thought?
00:47:10Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:13God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:17Yeah, admit it. I've got no game.
00:47:20I guess I just can't look at me like this.
00:47:22I don't feel good. I don't feel good.
00:47:25Fucking douchebag.
00:47:27Damn it.
00:47:29Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:32You go, girl.
00:47:34What?
00:47:36What are you doing here?
00:47:38We needed someplace private.
00:47:40But hey, listen.
00:47:42If you're serious about getting laid...
00:47:44Yeah?
00:47:46If you want someone great, I mean really the best ever...
00:47:49No offense.
00:47:51Frank. The blind guy.
00:47:53Really?
00:47:55I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:58I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:48:00It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:48:03It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:06Everything.
00:48:09If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:12All right.
00:48:15What about him?
00:48:17Jeremy.
00:48:19Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:21I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:23I don't know his last name, though.
00:48:25It's Jones.
00:48:27Jeremy Jones.
00:48:29If this all makes sense.
00:48:31Excuse me.
00:48:33Jeremy.
00:48:35Hi.
00:48:37Who was on the phone?
00:48:39Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:41You'll meet her.
00:48:43She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:45Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:59Oh, hi Frank.
00:49:02Sit.
00:49:06Oh, you meant...
00:49:08You meant the dog.
00:49:10Relax.
00:49:13You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:24Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:27Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:29I'm not.
00:49:32How did you know that?
00:49:36Corner.
00:49:40Sit.
00:49:42Roll over.
00:49:46Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Roll over.
00:49:53Oh, you mean me.
00:49:55Oh, how do you...
00:49:57How do you want me to...
00:49:59Just lie down.
00:50:02Oh.
00:50:04I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:50:06but considering it a teachable moment...
00:50:09Okay.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:16See me with your hands.
00:50:21All right.
00:50:23Uh...
00:50:25Okay.
00:50:27All right.
00:50:29Uh...
00:50:35You know, I should really...
00:50:37I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:39Really.
00:50:52Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:57Mmm.
00:51:08Frank. Frank.
00:51:10Oh.
00:51:13Oh, Frank.
00:51:28Yo, man.
00:51:30Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:32My chips, homeboy.
00:51:34Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:36My chips.
00:51:38Dude, my chips.
00:51:40My chips.
00:51:42Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:44Sorry.
00:51:52It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:55It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:52:02Come on, let me do this. Go ahead.
00:52:04I got it. I got it.
00:52:06No, really, please. I want to help.
00:52:10Okay, everybody out.
00:52:12Leave. I have to vacuum.
00:52:26You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:28They're over here.
00:52:30I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:35It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:39It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:41Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:56Oh.
00:53:02Okay.
00:53:04All right.
00:53:06I think I got all that.
00:53:08I'm just gonna... I'll see you.
00:53:19Frankie.
00:53:21Oh, my... Oh.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:25Oh, shit.
00:53:26Man, we got a smoky...
00:53:27A leaky, smoking heater.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:33Oh, shit.
00:53:35I'm sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You want to join us?
00:53:40Uh, no, I'm actually...
00:53:42Come on. You got to do it. Come on.
00:53:44Seriously, guys, I need to go.
00:53:45Where's your dog, man?
00:53:46What's it like being blinded?
00:53:47It's trippy.
00:53:50Frank?
00:53:53Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:01Thanks, man.
00:54:03Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:54:04I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:06Dude, I ain't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:14Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:16This is some good shit.
00:54:20Oh, no.
00:54:22You're the devil.
00:54:24No more.
00:54:28J.J., I...
00:54:29Jeremy, you have to remember
00:54:31that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:34Please.
00:54:36I'm sorry.
00:54:37I'm sorry.
00:54:38I'm sorry.
00:54:39I'm sorry.
00:54:40I'm sorry.
00:54:41I'm sorry.
00:54:42I'm sorry.
00:54:43I'm sorry.
00:54:44I'm sorry.
00:54:45I'm sorry.
00:54:46I'm sorry.
00:54:47I'm sorry.
00:54:48Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:56It's just so sad
00:54:58because I'm wearing this
00:55:00copeless bra,
00:55:01and I also have on crotchless panties
00:55:04with just a little string of pearl in front
00:55:07for extra stimulation.
00:55:09Oh.
00:55:14We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:19So before she gets here...
00:55:21Perfect.
00:55:32Let's do it.
00:55:34Fuck me.
00:55:35Fuck me now.
00:55:40What?
00:55:41What's wrong?
00:55:42I can't.
00:55:43I can't get it in.
00:55:44Try down there.
00:55:46It's dry down there. It's like desert down there. It's sandpaper.
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture. Just try it again.
00:55:57No. Why is this happening?
00:56:00We fooled around before. I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
00:56:04Just do what you did then. Come on.
00:56:06I already did my thing. I already tried.
00:56:10What? What is different this time?
00:56:13I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:18I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones. How can you not be JJ?
00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going? We're not done here.
00:56:34I can still do this. I just need a little bit of fun. I can do this.
00:56:38I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else. We can do this.
00:56:43Go team.
00:56:47What? Just keep going.
00:56:54Shit.
00:57:04Where's Jeremy?
00:57:07We were just, you know...
00:57:10Hey babe. Just working out.
00:57:16How could you, you bastard?
00:57:21You might want to...
00:57:22What?
00:57:24What?
00:57:29Mariella! Mariella!
00:57:31You know those aren't mine.
00:57:34At least not all of them.
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:39You used to be so pure.
00:57:41Well, no more. That's it.
00:57:43Really, that's the last one.
00:58:10Cheryl?
00:58:15What is it? What are you doing down here?
00:58:18I'm waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:22What?
00:58:23Why?
00:58:24Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:28Oh, honey.
00:58:30What?
00:58:31Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:33What?
00:58:34Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
00:58:37Oh, honey. It's going to be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay.
00:58:42God. And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry.
00:58:46It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
00:58:48That blind, cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:03You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:06Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah. You know, you might want to...
00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:20I don't know.
00:59:26I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:33I got no game.
00:59:41It's not important.
00:59:54Hey, um...
00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:57No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:59Really, Eric. I can't right now.
01:00:01No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
01:00:04And I'm just embarrassed and I don't want to make it up to you.
01:00:08Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:00:26Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while
01:00:29and it would be nice to go out with like...
01:00:31Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:00:35No, not really.
01:00:38Yeah, no. I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:43Okay. Alright.
01:00:45I, uh...
01:00:48Happy birthday, then.
01:01:00I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss your...
01:01:11Wow.
01:01:23Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:30Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:33Oh, God damn it. Not again.
01:01:34Oh, no, um...
01:01:35Oh, honey, happy...
01:01:38The fuck is this?
01:01:40Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:41Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:46Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:50Oh, gee, Cheryl. You're...
01:01:53I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:01:56Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:02:00What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:02:03or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:05Cheryl, honey.
01:02:06No, no.
01:02:07We can work this out.
01:02:08Baby, I love you.
01:02:10Jake, no. You have to go.
01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:13I promise.
01:02:14No, Jake, I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:02:16Oh, Cheryl, come on.
01:02:18No, Jake, please, just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:02:21You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:23How could you do...
01:02:24Yay! You did it.
01:02:26I am so proud of you.
01:02:27You got your revenge sex.
01:02:29You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:38It all makes sense now.
01:02:41Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:02:44Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:50And you used me.
01:02:52Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:02:56Aren't you happy?
01:02:59Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:02You mean the sex? Was it...
01:03:05No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:07Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:09Really?
01:03:10I just never found the right guy.
01:03:12Or guys.
01:03:14Anyway, we better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:03:17I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:20I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:03:23God!
01:03:25Oh! Oh!
01:03:27Suck it!
01:03:29God, I'm out of here!
01:03:31Yeah!
01:03:32He has good hair, though.
01:03:35Don't you puke on me.
01:03:38And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:41Oh, God.
01:03:43Oh, God.
01:03:45Oh, God.
01:03:47Oh, God.
01:03:49And don't puke on my car, either.
01:04:03Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:06Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?
01:04:09I don't think so. Not with a guy, anyway.
01:04:12Oh, don't ask. Every possible object.
01:04:16It wasn't a mechanical thing. It was like Transformers.
01:04:20They just all became vibrators.
01:04:22I told you.
01:04:24It's addicting.
01:04:26So, what about Chris?
01:04:28The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:04:30I told you he was gay.
01:04:32Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:36Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:39So, wait.
01:04:41None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:49So, I was going to go grab some food. Want to go?
01:04:52No, thank you. I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:58No.
01:05:00I don't know. For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:04Or something.
01:05:06Why? Do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:10Oh. Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:17Love him?
01:05:20Shut it!
01:05:21You want to do it with him?
01:05:22I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:23You want to get married?
01:05:24You want to do it with him?
01:05:25Zip it.
01:05:26All right, all right, all right.
01:05:47Um, no. No way.
01:06:09Oh, well. There's always next year.
01:06:16You're taking me.
01:06:32It's you.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:40Joanna.
01:06:46Joanna.
01:07:16Joanna.
01:07:40Wow. That's amazing.
01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:47I guess something inspired me.
01:07:50You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah. Even that little cowlick he has in his hair.
01:07:58Whose?
01:08:00Eric's. It's him, right?
01:08:04Oh. Yeah.
01:08:08I have to go see him.
01:08:14Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:261-900-CONFESS.
01:08:29Sister Therese?
01:08:31Yeah, hun? Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:37Oh, sure.
01:08:39It's 2-7-1.
01:08:41Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:50Like, take you back?
01:08:52Sure, hun. Why not?
01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:03Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:09:07Sister? Can I get up now? I really gotta pee.
01:09:12No! Hush your trap!
01:09:15Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:20I will. Thanks.
01:09:25Sister?
01:09:26Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you cheap fucker!
01:09:38Eric, wait!
01:09:42Cheryl?
01:09:44Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:50I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:09:56I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:59The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:02I do want to go out with you.
01:10:05And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:08I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these...
01:10:12Eric!
01:10:14Mom, I gotta get going.
01:10:16Oh, wow.
01:10:18Cheryl, this is my sister Tina. Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:22Hi.
01:10:24Hi.
01:10:26Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina. Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:31Hi. Nice to meet you.
01:10:36Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:10:42Yeah, sure.
01:10:49Oh. Sorry. No kissing, right?
01:10:52No kissing.
01:10:54Hmm.
01:11:09Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:14I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:11:17Wait, what? I never did that.
01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it. She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:28She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:31I wonder who it was.
01:11:51At least this birthday's over.
01:12:04Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:08I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:20No.
01:12:43Excuse me. Excuse me.
01:12:45Uh, do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:49Yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to.
01:12:52Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:55Thank you.
01:12:57You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, uh, I don't know.
01:13:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:21I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:24What's your name?
01:13:26Sue. What's yours?
01:13:28Jesus.
01:13:30Really?
01:13:32Si.
01:13:34Maybe I could use a ride.
01:13:47No.