Lies & Alibis HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
Lies & Alibis HD ( Comedy, Drama, Romance )
Transcript
00:00:00Hey, let me explain.
00:00:03Hey man, I am so sorry, I...
00:00:06Now that's awful. Truly depressing data.
00:00:09I know this must look bad, but it's not what it looks like.
00:00:12You, stop talking now.
00:00:14Dorothy, you see the red Pontiac Fiero outside?
00:00:22He works for your husband.
00:00:24Oh, shit.
00:00:26But then I realized, imagine how much more impressive those numbers could be
00:00:29if people thought they could actually get away with it.
00:00:32Here, put these up.
00:00:34Two minutes, out the door. I'll take care of the photographer.
00:00:37You, ten minutes after that, half a mile down the road, there's an Exxon garage.
00:00:41Call a cab.
00:00:42Cynical?
00:00:43Well, I prefer entrepreneurial.
00:00:48My former partner, the great Jack McAdam,
00:00:51told me our job in life is not to judge the wants and desires of our fellow man,
00:00:55it's to profit from them.
00:00:58And while some might see this as an unraveling of our social fabric,
00:01:02I say, business is good.
00:01:08Ray, those files are ready.
00:01:10Great. Do me a favor, will you?
00:01:12Double check the receipts on the Fager account.
00:01:15I'm super sorry about the other night, Ray. I just lost her.
00:01:18Not good enough, Fager. That's the third time in the last three months.
00:01:21Ray, we need three dollars for Wendy's birthday party.
00:01:24It's a two-month severance. If you need any contacts, we'll hook you up.
00:01:27And we got some issues with the new DMV holographs.
00:01:29Do you want to sign off on the new souvenirs?
00:01:31Track me down this afternoon.
00:01:33Ray, I need approval on the Trodder account.
00:01:35I did it. It's on your desk.
00:01:36Is this OK?
00:01:37Good.
00:01:40Uh, new client?
00:01:42You're 11 o'clock.
00:01:44You said you wanted bigger brains around here.
00:01:48Thank you.
00:01:52Don't let the twins fool you.
00:01:54They look like a faction, but they're actually in a battle for tank dominance.
00:01:58They also like to breed under banana leaves.
00:02:02You can call me Lola.
00:02:03OK. I'd like to go by...
00:02:05Ray, Benjamin's root canal's going over.
00:02:07Also, Peter Miller's passport isn't scanning the way that we'd like it to.
00:02:11And I'll talk to you about it later.
00:02:14So, Lola, do you have any lunch plans?
00:02:18You, uh, worked under Randall Paul.
00:02:21Can I ask you where you left?
00:02:22I was one of 17 junior V.P.s in our division,
00:02:25specializing in interest derivatives, market risk exposure,
00:02:28plus a little P&L analysis on the side.
00:02:31Sounds...
00:02:32Almost as dull as it was.
00:02:34And just a point of clarification,
00:02:36I work with people and for people,
00:02:39never under them.
00:02:41And what would you say was your best quality?
00:02:44My patience.
00:02:46Great, great.
00:02:48So how close to the street are you?
00:02:50Your shoes.
00:02:52Very fashionable.
00:02:53About five, six years ago.
00:02:55You look like someone who would care.
00:02:57Do you want to talk about it?
00:02:59OK.
00:03:00I had banked some stock options from a blossoming Internet startup
00:03:04and decided to seek enlightenment in the Holy Land.
00:03:06I would have guessed Tibet.
00:03:09I'm old school.
00:03:11Can I ask you a question?
00:03:13Uh-huh.
00:03:14What exactly do you do?
00:03:16Well, this is a surprise.
00:03:18Hey, putty, good to see you.
00:03:20The fuck are you, man?
00:03:22Fucking good.
00:03:23Yeah? Get any work?
00:03:25I retired.
00:03:27Yeah, I banked some options from this blossoming Internet startup
00:03:31and decided to seek enlightenment in Tibet via the Middle East.
00:03:34The Holy Land, huh?
00:03:35No shit.
00:03:39Ray.
00:03:40I hear Jack's back on the radar.
00:03:43Well, uh, I wouldn't know about that.
00:03:45No?
00:03:46I hope you've been in touch with your old boss.
00:03:48Thoughts are like Batman and Robin.
00:03:52Without the capes.
00:03:54I heard he was seen at the airport.
00:03:56He's hiding in a bungalow up the coast.
00:03:58Yeah, I heard it was a villa in Sweden.
00:04:00I wouldn't put too much stock on idle gossip.
00:04:02Yeah, there's nothing idle about a $5 million contract on a guy's head.
00:04:06Excuse me, sir.
00:04:07We need to keep this lane clear.
00:04:10I was looking for some good guys.
00:04:12Ma'am?
00:04:14What the fuck are you looking at?
00:04:20That was interesting.
00:04:22And creepy.
00:04:24So what can you tell me about him?
00:04:26I just met him.
00:04:30Um, I'd say a high school graduate.
00:04:34Um, possibly a missionary or insurance salesman.
00:04:38Although with obvious connections to some sort of criminal enterprise.
00:04:41Okay. What else?
00:04:43So you know this or you've heard this?
00:04:45I know that Jack McCadden conned the Sultan of Qatar at a $15 million.
00:04:49Yeah, that's the legend.
00:04:51What about this Ray of yours?
00:04:53He was always just a front man.
00:04:55Word is, after the score, Jack disappeared with Ray's cut of the Sultan's cash.
00:04:59The Sultan?
00:05:01That's some real Indiana Jones shit, that is.
00:05:03Language, Bobo.
00:05:05Sorry.
00:05:06And would you say he's married or single?
00:05:08Divorced.
00:05:10If there were a woman in his life, she'd make him bathe a little more often.
00:05:13Excuse me.
00:05:15So does this Sultan still want Jack dead?
00:05:18What I hear, $5 million open contract on Jack McCadden's head.
00:05:22Five million's a lot of money.
00:05:24To clip a grifter, it certainly is.
00:05:26Okay, why is he not?
00:05:30No, no, no. I'll take it.
00:05:33No, no, no. I'll take it.
00:05:38So, when can you start?
00:05:40You ask me two questions and then offer me the job?
00:05:42Three. I have a sense about people.
00:05:44We have to leave.
00:05:49Now,
00:05:51seems like our new friend Ray knows a very valuable man.
00:05:55I don't know if Ray's still in touch.
00:05:57He's handsome.
00:05:59I think he's found religion.
00:06:01How good is it for a man to have faith that his actions do not prove it?
00:06:05Time men don't reform.
00:06:08They simply find better angles.
00:06:12Okay, what do we do?
00:06:14We're a risk management firm.
00:06:15Which means?
00:06:16We're in the business of saving marriages.
00:06:19How do you do that?
00:06:20We grease the wheel to make state-of-the-art infidelity possible.
00:06:24People who cheat get caught because, A, they want to,
00:06:27or, B, they're found someplace they said they weren't.
00:06:29Good morning, Jay-Z Incorporated.
00:06:31Mr. Williams is in a meeting right now. May I take your message?
00:06:34We create a false reality,
00:06:36making people appear to be where they're supposed to be.
00:06:38Mr. Norris, let me check.
00:06:42I'm sorry, your wife just got on a conference call.
00:06:45I'll try her when she gets off.
00:06:54Fifth Precinct.
00:06:56Sykes?
00:06:57He's running files for Central. Can I help you?
00:07:00I can try him on his walkie if it's an emergency.
00:07:03So you help men cheat on their wives?
00:07:06And wives cheat on their husbands.
00:07:08We're an equal-opportunity employer.
00:07:11You're a professional liar.
00:07:17Life's the great foundation of our society, Lolo.
00:07:20Great outfit, honey,
00:07:21can't take any flowers for no reason,
00:07:23and my personal favorite,
00:07:24don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys.
00:07:27That's just being polite.
00:07:29The fact is, your average relationship
00:07:31wouldn't last two minutes if people told the truth.
00:07:34We just help maintain the illusion.
00:07:36Mom's happy, Dad's happy,
00:07:38and the kids don't know how to pick sides at Christmas.
00:07:41So this is all for the children.
00:07:43Families don't break up because of infidelity.
00:07:46Thank you.
00:07:47They break up because someone gets caught.
00:07:49Let me guess,
00:07:50you're just a hard-working child of a broken home,
00:07:53trying to save others from the pain you went through.
00:07:57I just see people for the well-dressed,
00:07:59good-smelling animals they are.
00:08:01Mate, eat, sleep, and mate some more.
00:08:03Preferably with someone else.
00:08:05But you can't really believe that.
00:08:07Not everyone operates on a purely primal level.
00:08:09A man is as faithful as his opportunities.
00:08:11Take your old boss, for example.
00:08:13Perfect example.
00:08:14Yes, he cheated on his wife, they broke up,
00:08:16they got back together, they've never been happier.
00:08:18When was that, about a year ago?
00:08:20Yeah. How did you know that?
00:08:22He just bought his lunch.
00:08:23He's been a client since January.
00:08:28Are you ready?
00:08:30I'll let you know.
00:08:36You dare defy your emperor?
00:08:40Robert, lobby. Two minutes.
00:08:43And you might want to pop the jacket on.
00:08:49Morning.
00:08:58You ever consider a more traditional line of work?
00:09:01Insurance? Sales?
00:09:04Making money's easy.
00:09:06Keeping yourself interested is something else entirely.
00:09:09Okay, here's the situation.
00:09:11In a few seconds, an angry wife is going to come
00:09:13steaming through that door and raise Mary hell
00:09:15till she finds her cheating husband.
00:09:17Inside this is a cheap knock-off necklace.
00:09:20You can be anyone you want to be for the next five minutes.
00:09:23I need $2,000 a week, benefits, a month off.
00:09:26Plus all regular holidays.
00:09:28Uh, well, we tend to work holidays.
00:09:30But, uh, you've got great dental,
00:09:32and I can go as high as $1,500.
00:09:34What's going on, Ray?
00:09:35Hey, how you doing there?
00:09:37One second. Vision?
00:09:39Uh, that comes with a copay.
00:09:41Okay, the objective is to extricate him
00:09:44from this predicament with his balls still intact.
00:09:47Ray.
00:09:49Son of a bitch!
00:09:51Holy shit.
00:09:53How could you?
00:09:55I give you the best years of my life,
00:09:57and you go and throw it all away
00:09:59to have your sick sex with some whore!
00:10:02Oh!
00:10:04I don't know who you think you are, Mrs. Hatch,
00:10:06but no one speaks to me like that.
00:10:08I can't work like this, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:10We're Rogette's jewelers, not Bob's big house of diamonds.
00:10:15Diamonds?
00:10:18To my dearest,
00:10:20on this special day,
00:10:22much love.
00:10:26Why are you meeting here?
00:10:28Our office is in New York,
00:10:30so Mr. Hatch has been flying in members of the team
00:10:32to work on the design.
00:10:34Oh, Robert.
00:10:36Judith, you'll like it.
00:10:38Robert.
00:10:42I think this could be a good idea.
00:10:45I think this concludes our business, Mr. Hatch.
00:10:48Yeah, but, uh, so if I wanted to examine
00:10:51some other items from your catalog,
00:10:53how could we arrange that?
00:10:55Oh, well, I can have a catalog
00:10:57forwarded to your hotel room in Fiji.
00:11:01Hmm?
00:11:06You didn't tell her?
00:11:08Uh...
00:11:10Robert!
00:11:15Thank you.
00:11:19We're going to Rodeo Drive, Hannibal.
00:11:21Yes, Mrs. Hatch.
00:11:23Mr. Hatch needs some new swings.
00:11:25Uh, in future, please don't improvise travel arrangements.
00:11:28I was in the moment.
00:11:30I also need a cell phone.
00:11:32Right.
00:11:34And, uh, moment or not,
00:11:36you didn't have to make it a private island.
00:11:38We both know you had it coming.
00:11:40Company car?
00:11:42So I guess anyone can get away with anything these days.
00:11:45No, we don't alibi crimes,
00:11:47and I will not be an instrument of revenge.
00:11:49Beyond that...
00:11:51Beyond that?
00:11:53It's all smoke and mirrors.
00:11:55So how rich do people have to be to hire us?
00:11:58We give discounts to cops, plumbers, teachers.
00:12:01Nice to give something back to the chronically underpaid.
00:12:03If it makes you feel any better,
00:12:05sometimes our clients stray,
00:12:07but then they go back a little wiser for the experience.
00:12:10Anything else?
00:12:12Overtime? Dress code?
00:12:14Yes, for both. Do we have a deal?
00:12:17If I'm there more than a year, I want profit sharing.
00:12:20Okay. Uh, one condition.
00:12:22Don't slut the spouse.
00:12:25Don't micromanage.
00:12:31Profit sharing?
00:12:33Perhaps that was a bit much,
00:12:35but I was temporarily seduced by her lavish,
00:12:37penetrating, truly sublime
00:12:39attention to detail.
00:12:44You see, my current line of work is all about
00:12:46planning for every conceivable contingency,
00:12:49accounting for every detail,
00:12:51every nuance,
00:12:53and every possible mistake.
00:12:55I know exactly where he is.
00:12:57Why? Because I commit the one unpardonable sin,
00:13:00the one my old partner Jack would never abide.
00:13:03I am forced, on a daily basis,
00:13:06to rely on the intelligence of others.
00:13:09Ten days, Ray.
00:13:11Ten days I had to sleep with my wife.
00:13:13You got any idea how that is?
00:13:15Break the rules. These things happen.
00:13:17By the way, you'll be swapping the necklace you gave her
00:13:19with a real one in about two days. I've already billed your account.
00:13:21You realize I actually had to, uh...
00:13:24You know, you know, I should have, just thinking about it.
00:13:27Well, uh, you could always leave her of it.
00:13:29Hey, I'd leave. I'd leave in a heartbeat.
00:13:31But, uh, it's no secret the money's all from her family.
00:13:34I leave, I'm ruined. You know that.
00:13:36We all have our crosses to bear.
00:13:38Now for our lesson in remedial cheating.
00:13:40Matches. Uh, you know, it's a stupid habit.
00:13:43I just keep losing my lighters.
00:13:45Nothing from your liaisons goes in your pockets,
00:13:47on your breath, or on your skin.
00:13:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:54Robert, you've already met Lola?
00:13:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:58My, uh, son's getting married next month.
00:14:01Good girl, from a good family.
00:14:03But you know the hatch, man.
00:14:05You know, we always have a little something on the side.
00:14:08My grandfather, my father, me, and now my kid.
00:14:11Can you believe it? Amazing.
00:14:15So where's he not supposed to be going,
00:14:17and who's he not supposed to be going with?
00:14:21Ray, uh, I'd appreciate it if you handled this yourself.
00:14:26Um, Robert, apart from the odd emergency,
00:14:29I do very little fieldwork these days.
00:14:31You're my last personal client.
00:14:33Yeah, but I was your first personal client.
00:14:35I mean, think of it as a wedding present to my fucking kid, huh?
00:14:39One you get to bill me for.
00:14:41After that, Lola can take care of me.
00:14:44Okay?
00:14:47Okay.
00:14:49Don't let the hatch thing bother you.
00:14:51It's just that some clients prefer working with men.
00:14:54So that man was your first client?
00:14:56That man's libido paid for the rent for the first few months.
00:15:00What, a startup help from the infamous Jack McCadden?
00:15:03No.
00:15:05He sounds like quite the character.
00:15:07International man of intrigue, smart, handsome.
00:15:11How long did you two date?
00:15:13Okay, Jack is not a topic I care to discuss.
00:15:16Bad breakup?
00:15:18Drop it.
00:15:22Dropped?
00:15:24Dropped.
00:15:28Yeah, she wants a friar to marry us.
00:15:32Like a fucking friar.
00:15:35What am I, Robin Hood?
00:15:37Come on.
00:15:39Look, don't get me wrong. I love Sandy.
00:15:41I fucking worship her. It's just, you know, shit.
00:15:43Till death do us part.
00:15:45Men weren't wired to be monogamous. I'm sorry.
00:15:47Just, you know, you gotta spread the seed.
00:15:49Hey, baby!
00:15:52Uh, your father tells me you want to go away for the weekend.
00:15:56That's terrible, right? I'm a terrible person.
00:15:59I don't know you, Wendell.
00:16:01I guess you're right.
00:16:03All right, well, so this girl, she wants...
00:16:05Do I tell you her name, or...? No.
00:16:07All right, she wants to go to this bed-and-breakfast in Santa Barbara.
00:16:10Are a click and clack going, too?
00:16:12What?
00:16:14No, dude, just me and her.
00:16:17Okay, there's a broker's convention in San Francisco this weekend.
00:16:21I book a room in San Francisco under your name
00:16:24and reserve a flight and a rental card.
00:16:26Okay.
00:16:28Then I book a room in Santa Barbara under my name...
00:16:30Make a reservation for your honeymoon suite for this Friday.
00:16:33...and give you a credit card to use while you're up there.
00:16:36Friday, you go to Santa Barbara, and I go to San Francisco,
00:16:40where I check into your room and sign in at the convention.
00:16:44I have dinner, make phone calls.
00:16:47I have dinner, make phone calls.
00:16:49In short, you become me, and I become you.
00:16:53Temporarily.
00:16:55What if Sandy tries to call me?
00:16:58Well, we intercept all the calls,
00:17:00so if there's an emergency, I'll be contacted,
00:17:03and I'll contact you.
00:17:09Dude, do you have a card?
00:17:11I don't.
00:17:13Anything else?
00:17:15I'm good.
00:17:17Good?
00:17:21Wendell?
00:17:23In future, don't make me do this in front of your wife.
00:17:27It's kind of tacky,
00:17:29and it'll get you caught, guaranteed.
00:17:36It'd be easy for a man in my line of work
00:17:39to become cynical on the subject of relationships.
00:17:42So what's in San Francisco?
00:17:44It's business.
00:17:46What's her name?
00:17:48Lola.
00:17:49I prefer to keep my work life and my private life separate.
00:17:52It keeps things simple.
00:17:54Simple is boring.
00:17:55Boring is safe.
00:17:56And safe is for old people.
00:17:58This is fun. Wanna keep going?
00:18:00I've got a plane to catch.
00:18:05Have a good weekend.
00:18:07But you see, romance is my greatest ally.
00:18:11It makes people vulnerable, distracted,
00:18:14and utterly idiotic.
00:18:16You sure you didn't tell anyone?
00:18:18In short, the perfect clients.
00:18:20We've been over this a thousand times.
00:18:22What'd you tell your boyfriend?
00:18:24That I'm visiting my mom.
00:18:26Trust me, he's an idiot.
00:18:29So after the wedding,
00:18:31how long before we get together?
00:18:33I don't know. We might have to cool it a little bit.
00:18:36Oh, shit! Does your boyfriend drive a black SUV?
00:18:40No!
00:18:41Will you calm down?
00:18:49You ever get a blowjob at 100 miles an hour?
00:18:53We're only going 60.
00:18:56Then you better step on it.
00:18:59Wow!
00:19:12Hey!
00:19:13Hey!
00:19:14One second!
00:19:15You've got about ten seconds for a rip-off
00:19:17like it wasn't funky right here in the lobby.
00:19:19Bitches are juicy.
00:19:21Now, what can I do for you nice young people?
00:19:24We have a room booked under Elliot,
00:19:26Mr. and Mrs. Elliot.
00:19:35Hi, Wendell Hatch.
00:19:37Arrogant prick.
00:19:51Hi, Wendell Hatch.
00:19:53Good to meet you.
00:19:54Hi.
00:19:55Hi, Wendell.
00:19:56Hello.
00:20:10You son of a bitch!
00:20:12Well, it takes one to know him, Mr. Williams.
00:20:15Good to see you.
00:20:16And you.
00:20:17God, didn't we have a hell of a time in Bermuda or what?
00:20:19My liver's still not talking to me.
00:20:21They forget to print your name tag?
00:20:23That's what you get for pre-registering?
00:20:25Oh, yeah.
00:20:26Say, Michael,
00:20:27you ever talk to that tax shelter guy,
00:20:29what was his name, Jack something?
00:20:31I was hoping you could tell me.
00:20:32I've got so much loose chains tied up with that guy,
00:20:34now I can't get the bastard on the phone.
00:20:37Still, you know what Jack used to say,
00:20:38the only sure investment is a tombstone.
00:20:41I know what he means.
00:20:42Come on, I want you to meet somebody.
00:20:44Hey, Jimmy!
00:20:45Come on.
00:20:53Hello.
00:20:54Ray?
00:20:55Who's this?
00:20:56I think she's dead, Ray.
00:20:57She's not waking up.
00:20:58Well, don't.
00:20:59How the fuck?
00:21:00This is so fucked!
00:21:01Okay, well, I don't get a hold of your mom.
00:21:02She liked it rough, you know,
00:21:03and I just thought,
00:21:04I thought I'd give her a call,
00:21:05but she's not answering.
00:21:06I'm sorry.
00:21:07I'm sorry.
00:21:08I'm sorry.
00:21:09I'm sorry.
00:21:10I'm sorry.
00:21:11I'm sorry.
00:21:12I'm sorry.
00:21:13I'm sorry.
00:21:14I'm sorry.
00:21:15I'm sorry.
00:21:16I'm sorry.
00:21:17I'm sorry.
00:21:18I'm sorry.
00:21:19I'm sorry.
00:21:20I'm sorry.
00:21:21I'm sorry.
00:21:22I'm sorry.
00:21:23I'm sorry.
00:21:24I'm sorry.
00:21:25I'm sorry.
00:21:26I'm sorry.
00:21:27I'm sorry.
00:21:28I'm sorry.
00:21:29I'm sorry.
00:21:30I'm sorry.
00:21:31She was alive, Ray,
00:21:32and I just thought I...
00:21:33Oh my...
00:21:34She didn't say gum, Ray.
00:21:35I was listening.
00:21:36She never said gum.
00:21:37She's blue!
00:21:38That's not normal, Ray!
00:21:39Check her pulse.
00:21:40Do you know how to do that?
00:21:41I gotta get out of here.
00:21:42I can't stay here.
00:21:43You must not leave the room.
00:21:44Yeah?
00:21:45Need to call an ambulance.
00:21:46It was an accident, Ray.
00:21:47I can't go to jail.
00:21:48I'm not going to jail.
00:21:49You fucking cool an ambulance.
00:21:52God damn it, you have to do what I say, Ray!
00:21:54It doesn't work like that, Wendell.
00:22:00You gotta help me, please.
00:22:04Please don't make me beg, man.
00:22:08Please help me.
00:22:10Okay, I'll call you back in five minutes.
00:22:12Don't fucking move.
00:22:17Bobo.
00:22:19I'm getting grease on the money.
00:22:21Just a little bit.
00:22:23Putty.
00:22:25Hello?
00:22:29Hello?
00:22:31Hey, Putty, it's Ray.
00:22:33You up for a little freelance work?
00:22:39Ray?
00:22:41Someone's coming to sort this out.
00:22:43Oh, Jesus Christ, thank you so much.
00:22:45Thank you.
00:22:47Now, Wendell, this is very important, so please pay attention.
00:22:49Okay.
00:22:51When he gets there, do not give him your real name.
00:22:53Do you understand?
00:22:59Hi, I'm Wendell.
00:23:01I mean, Pete.
00:23:03Hey, Wendell.
00:23:05Did she come with the room?
00:23:07What?
00:23:09Did the dead girl come with the room,
00:23:11or did you bring her here yourself?
00:23:13It was an accident.
00:23:15It usually is.
00:23:18I doubt that.
00:23:33So no one saw you move the body?
00:23:35No.
00:23:39Wendell, look at me.
00:23:41Did anyone else know you were taking her out of town?
00:23:43No, I mean, the guys knew where I was going,
00:23:45but they didn't know who, so...
00:23:47Is anyone likely to come looking for her?
00:23:53She is a Mexican.
00:23:57No, she has a boyfriend who's Mexican.
00:23:59He is a Hispanic-American,
00:24:01but he would fucking kill both of us if he knew.
00:24:03The guy at the bed and breakfast saw me.
00:24:05I think he saw me.
00:24:07You know, this was all her idea, so I don't...
00:24:09Shut up, Wendell.
00:24:11Did you have any idea?
00:24:13You killed...
00:24:15I'm sorry. Believe me.
00:24:17Fuck, you think I wanted this to happen?
00:24:21Look, the good thing is,
00:24:23it's your name on the hotel bill, right?
00:24:25Not mine.
00:24:27So technically, I wasn't even there.
00:24:31What is this?
00:24:33You're not gonna tell my dad, are you?
00:24:37Give me my credit card.
00:24:43Okay, get moving.
00:24:47And don't ever, ever let me see you again.
00:24:55Ow!
00:25:03Hello. Uh, is this the number
00:25:05for reporting a lost credit card?
00:25:09Yeah.
00:25:11Ray Elliot.
00:25:31Hello?
00:25:35Min?
00:25:37Cam?
00:25:41Coyus.
00:26:03I know what this is.
00:26:05I know what you're thinking.
00:26:07But...
00:26:09A deal is a deal.
00:26:35Darling!
00:26:37You should really try and give me a little more notice.
00:26:43Come on in.
00:26:45Sorry to interrupt. Were you busy?
00:26:47Yes, Ray. I was having a glamour night.
00:26:51I'm going to, uh...
00:26:53I'm going to tell you something,
00:26:55and I don't want you to ask any questions.
00:26:57Oh, well, we all know how good I am at that.
00:26:59I'm going to tell you something,
00:27:01and I don't want you to ask any questions.
00:27:03We all know how good I am at that.
00:27:07We slept together last night.
00:27:11Did I like it?
00:27:13I said no questions. Remember?
00:27:15Did you like it?
00:27:17Lola.
00:27:19How do you know I wasn't with someone else last night?
00:27:23We?
00:27:25I thought the idea was to keep
00:27:27our private life and our work life separate.
00:27:33Okay.
00:27:35Go ahead.
00:27:39You invited me over yesterday morning.
00:27:41I showed up at 7.30 p.m.
00:27:43with a bottle of wine.
00:27:45What kind?
00:27:47Merlot.
00:27:49And you cooked me dinner.
00:27:51Well, don't tell my mother this story.
00:27:53She'll know you're making it up.
00:27:55Uh, roast.
00:27:57Lasagna. I can make lasagna.
00:27:59Fine. Lasagna.
00:28:01We showed up at 7.30.
00:28:03We had dinner.
00:28:05And I didn't leave until 9 o'clock in the morning.
00:28:07Just one more question.
00:28:09What?
00:28:13Are you going to call me?
00:28:32Reserve.
00:28:34So you're the only one that could put my kid
00:28:36and that fucking girl together at the bed and breakfast.
00:28:38Uh, plus the innkeeper.
00:28:40But I don't see how Ennil's ever going to register
00:28:42on the cops' radar.
00:28:44So how much you want to make this go away?
00:28:46That's not what this is about.
00:28:48I'll give you 23 grand cash right now
00:28:50to keep my kid out of this.
00:28:52Hey, it's what I got.
00:28:54My emergency cash reserve.
00:28:56Robert, I don't want your money.
00:28:59No, no, no.
00:29:01Hello. End of fucking conversation.
00:29:07Our actions have consequences.
00:29:09Yours, mine.
00:29:11Everyone's.
00:29:15Wait a minute.
00:29:17If this is some kind of con, Ray,
00:29:19what, I pay up,
00:29:21and this chick shows up with my 23 grand
00:29:23on some beach somewhere?
00:29:25No way. No fucking way.
00:29:28Your son killed her.
00:29:30Deal with it
00:29:32so that I don't have to.
00:29:36Okay, Ray.
00:29:38Let's see what I can do.
00:29:58This is Cam.
00:30:00Hey, it's Ray.
00:30:02Are you working this weekend?
00:30:04Come on, man.
00:30:06You know the dead never sleep.
00:30:08So, uh, I hear my old friend might be in town.
00:30:10You heard anything?
00:30:12You mean Jack McCann?
00:30:14I've been meaning to call you.
00:30:16He just came in.
00:30:18I'm sorry.
00:30:20I'm sorry.
00:30:22I'm sorry.
00:30:24I'm sorry.
00:30:27Now, direct from an extended tour
00:30:29where he played for and with
00:30:31many of the crowded heads of Arabia
00:30:33and their wives.
00:30:35Yeah?
00:30:39Cam, is this a joke?
00:30:41What?
00:30:43That's not Jack McCann.
00:30:45Are you sure?
00:30:47He's the same age.
00:30:49Same, uh, same build.
00:30:51Yeah, but here's the thing.
00:30:53Jack doesn't have a snake tattooed on his face.
00:30:56Or a steel bolt to his penis.
00:31:01I gotta go.
00:31:15Can I help you?
00:31:17Uh, yeah, Detective Bryce.
00:31:19To see Mr. Elliott.
00:31:21I'm sorry.
00:31:23I've never seen her before.
00:31:25Right.
00:31:27And your credit card was stolen or lost
00:31:29just the day before it was used
00:31:31to check into the bed and breakfast.
00:31:33Neat how that worked out, isn't it?
00:31:35You're not LAPD, are you?
00:31:37No, I used to be.
00:31:39I'm in Santa Barbara now.
00:31:41It's where the Prices live with their
00:31:43occasionally wayward daughter.
00:31:45What exactly do you do here at Elliott?
00:31:48What exactly do you do here
00:31:50at Elliott Consulting, Mr. Elliott?
00:31:54Risk assessment and management.
00:31:58And how does a former confidence man
00:32:00become an expert on that?
00:32:02The same way you get to Carnegie Hall, Detective.
00:32:05Practice, practice, practice.
00:32:07Where is Miss Price, Mr. Elliott?
00:32:09Or should I call you Mr. Avalon,
00:32:11Mr. Morgan, Mr. Wilde?
00:32:13Detective, I swear to God...
00:32:15What about your old boss, Jack McCadden?
00:32:17Would he know?
00:32:19I heard this crazy story the other day
00:32:21about a really rich Arab
00:32:23wanting to see Jack McCadden dead.
00:32:26I haven't spoken to Jack in a couple of years.
00:32:29Now, when grifters and cons
00:32:31knock each other off, I really don't give a shit.
00:32:33But Miss Price's father's an assemblyman.
00:32:35He's pushing really hard for us
00:32:37to find his daughter.
00:32:39So this is how it works.
00:32:41He pushes me, I push you, we find her,
00:32:43and then I come to my husband,
00:32:45who's probably letting our daughter overdose on pizza every night I'm not in town.
00:32:48That sounds painfully domestic.
00:32:50Well, to me, it's a little piece of heaven.
00:32:52Now, you make me stick around in town,
00:32:54and I'm gonna do my damnedest
00:32:56to make sure that I find something
00:32:58to make it worth my while.
00:33:00For my scrapbook.
00:33:03You know, you don't have to wave those things dry anymore.
00:33:06It's a new process.
00:33:08They've had it for a couple of years now.
00:33:14Download this for me, please.
00:33:16Mm-hmm.
00:33:24What did the cop want?
00:33:26Oh, it's nothing.
00:33:28I'm gonna need you to cover some of my accounts
00:33:30over the next few weeks.
00:33:32Not a problem.
00:33:34Good.
00:33:44Hey, Ray.
00:33:46Putty!
00:33:48How nice to see you.
00:33:50Gotta go for a ride.
00:33:52Oh, you're holding me up for that B&B thing?
00:33:54It's not like you.
00:33:56I'm hurt you'd even think such a thing.
00:33:58I take it this is not optional?
00:34:00That's a real good way to put it.
00:34:07So who are you working for these days?
00:34:09Yeah, a guy used to run out of salt, eh?
00:34:12The Moorman.
00:34:14Yeah, you heard of him? Really nice guy.
00:34:16I know of at least six guys who'd argue that point.
00:34:18If they were still around.
00:34:20Well, we don't keep track,
00:34:22but me and Bobo get benefits.
00:34:24Dental, eye care.
00:34:26Nice uniforms.
00:34:34I remember you.
00:34:36Do you?
00:34:39I'm Adele.
00:34:41Pleased to meet you.
00:34:44And you are?
00:34:47Too old.
00:34:57Do you have a bathroom?
00:35:09It's, uh,
00:35:11a little crowded in here right now.
00:35:13No.
00:35:15I may be married to the old creep,
00:35:17but he doesn't own me.
00:35:19Well, that's good to know.
00:35:21So where are you from, young lady?
00:35:23Oh, South Dakota.
00:35:25Tiny little town.
00:35:30How are you enjoying life in the big city?
00:35:33Yeah, right.
00:35:35It's like being in prison.
00:35:37Nice pool.
00:35:39But...
00:35:41I do manage to find
00:35:43the odd distraction.
00:35:47Ridge?
00:35:51Come on.
00:35:53Let's do it right here.
00:35:56Let's do it right here.
00:36:07Are you insane?
00:36:09It wasn't my idea.
00:36:11It doesn't matter whose idea it was.
00:36:13He'll tear your head off if he catches you near one of his wives.
00:36:15You dragged me here, remember?
00:36:17So let's get this audience underway.
00:36:26I spend a fortune on landscaping.
00:36:31I think it's worth it.
00:36:34That's very beautiful.
00:36:36Thank you.
00:36:39But he tells me he's met one of my wives.
00:36:42How's that work, the two things?
00:36:44Three.
00:36:46Three? Congratulations.
00:36:48Our doctrine says celestial marriage
00:36:50is the gate to exaltation.
00:36:52Sorry, do they work in shifts,
00:36:54or is it kind of a group thing?
00:37:00Things manage to work themselves out.
00:37:04But enough about me.
00:37:06Are you married?
00:37:08No.
00:37:10I guess I just haven't met the right women.
00:37:13Funny.
00:37:16I hear there's a price on the head
00:37:18if you're a woman.
00:37:20Yes, I hear there's a price on the head
00:37:22of your old partner, Jack.
00:37:25I also hear that he may be in town.
00:37:29And you want me to tell you where he is?
00:37:33You know my chosen profession, right?
00:37:35Yes.
00:37:37People have been hiring hitmen for thousands of years,
00:37:40ever since some Neanderthal
00:37:42gave some other Neanderthal a half a mastodon
00:37:45to clock his brother with a rock.
00:37:47Neanderthal?
00:37:49I'm taking you for a creationist.
00:37:52More of a pragmatist, really.
00:37:55Which is where you come in.
00:37:57Do I?
00:37:59I think having a man of your skills
00:38:01covering my tracks
00:38:03would be extremely helpful.
00:38:05Well, I'm sorry, but I don't alibi crimes.
00:38:08You already alibied one
00:38:10for the Hatch family, wasn't it?
00:38:13That was the first and last.
00:38:17No, I think not.
00:38:21No, I think from now on
00:38:23there will be many, many more.
00:38:26Unless becoming an accessory after the fact
00:38:29strikes you as a reasonable way
00:38:31to spend the next 10 or 15 years of your life.
00:38:35Good evening, Ray.
00:38:37We'll be in touch.
00:38:41The genius of Jack McCadden
00:38:43was that he was part magician,
00:38:45part artist, part ghost.
00:38:48Jack's back on the radar.
00:38:50You guys are like Batman and Robin.
00:38:52Although it was a privilege to work alongside him,
00:38:55I've gone to great pains to leave that life behind.
00:38:58Jack McCadden, would he know?
00:39:00I hear there's a price on the head of your old partner.
00:39:03But that's the problem with the past.
00:39:05Bad breakup?
00:39:07Drop it.
00:39:08It's never really dead until you are.
00:39:10Dropped?
00:39:12That's not a very comforting thought.
00:39:15Yeah?
00:39:17Dude, it's Cam.
00:39:19I think I found Jack.
00:39:21Cam, I can't really deal with this right now.
00:39:24Something came up.
00:39:26But if it's him, people are going to come looking for him.
00:39:29Hey, asshole.
00:39:31No, there's something I've got to deal with.
00:39:34I'll call you later.
00:39:36All right, okay.
00:39:38Bye.
00:39:41Wendell?
00:39:43Wendell?
00:39:45Wendell's posse?
00:39:47You dick. I can't believe you told my dad.
00:39:49Someone had to straighten things out.
00:39:51I don't know who you think you are,
00:39:53but you don't threaten me and you don't threaten my father.
00:39:55You're a fucking employee.
00:39:57You understand me? You're a butler.
00:39:59You're a burger flipper.
00:40:04So let's step outside and get this party started.
00:40:08Okay.
00:40:11Uh, right.
00:40:13What is that? Is that sort of kung fu?
00:40:15Taekwondo.
00:40:17Oh, Taekwondo.
00:40:23Um, why don't we do it here?
00:40:25I mean, I know it's a bit crowded,
00:40:27but if you move those two chairs,
00:40:29and I'll shift this table.
00:40:31Hey!
00:40:34Target.
00:40:36No.
00:40:38I hate to get all philosophical,
00:40:40but a life has been taken, and someone needs to account for that.
00:40:42Hey, okay.
00:40:44You follow me.
00:40:46Please don't kill me.
00:40:48I'll pay you.
00:40:50Go, go, go!
00:40:52Come on!
00:40:54Don't fucking kill you.
00:40:56Stupid asshole. I think you broke my fucking nose.
00:40:59Oh!
00:41:01Indeed.
00:41:05It hurts.
00:41:07Your intellect is nice,
00:41:09but nothing beats the thrill
00:41:11of delivering a good old fight.
00:41:13Why'd you pick him up? What's wrong with him?
00:41:15I don't know.
00:41:17Okay, go, go, go.
00:41:20Ah!
00:41:29Shit.
00:41:34Wakey, wakey.
00:41:36Oh, look who's up.
00:41:38Look who's up.
00:41:40Think you're gonna sleep forever, princess?
00:41:42Uh, I think there's been a mistake.
00:41:44Oh, yeah. I hope so.
00:41:46My, uh, my house is that way.
00:41:49This ain't no car service, motherfucker.
00:41:51This is your worst nightmare.
00:41:53Yeah, well, my worst nightmare has rats in it.
00:41:55Oh, we're gonna get to that.
00:41:57I can guarantee that.
00:41:59I know you.
00:42:01Oh, yeah, you think so?
00:42:03You're Hatch's driver.
00:42:05That's right, asshole, and what?
00:42:07What is that supposed to mean?
00:42:09What, you think you're better than me?
00:42:11Is that how you're trying to put me down, man?
00:42:13Motherfucker, let me suggest something to you, all right?
00:42:15I suggest that you fucking get real smart real fast
00:42:18Don't be annoyed, but, uh...
00:42:20Who?
00:42:26Heather.
00:42:28Heather Price, motherfucker.
00:42:30Do you remember her now?
00:42:32Little beat cop, ass like butter, right?
00:42:34Mine like a fucking pervert.
00:42:36Took her to that hotel in Santa Barbara.
00:42:38Let me tell you something.
00:42:40She was my fucking girlfriend, man.
00:42:42It wasn't a hotel, man. It was a bear that grabbed my dog.
00:42:44You shut the fuck up.
00:42:46I wasn't at that hotel.
00:42:48I reported my credit card stolen.
00:42:50I spent the weekend with friends.
00:42:52Check it out with any of you.
00:42:54You expect somebody to believe that bullshit?
00:42:56You had your best shot.
00:42:58This is the truth.
00:43:00Come on, give me something
00:43:02Where I can engage my suspension of disbelief.
00:43:04Give me something, man.
00:43:06Something within the realm of plausibility.
00:43:10She wouldn't be cheating on me, man.
00:43:12No matter what she's done
00:43:14Or why she's duped me.
00:43:16Get up.
00:43:18I have a capacity to forgive.
00:43:20I can forgive your dad.
00:43:22Unfortunately, tonight, that's not going to bring salvation to your fucking ass.
00:43:30You want me to get extreme pain no makeover on your ass?
00:43:32Where is she?
00:43:34Say something.
00:43:38Hey, listen, if you're going to beat information out of someone,
00:43:40You've got to be smart enough to let them answer.
00:43:42Yeah, right. Point taken. Point taken. Back off, man. Back off.
00:43:46Now, where is she?
00:43:48Go ahead.
00:43:50She's...
00:43:52She's dead.
00:43:54I didn't do it.
00:43:56She can't be, man. She can't be.
00:43:58I like you, and you can kill me,
00:44:00But it's not going to change what went down.
00:44:02No! No, I didn't!
00:44:04Do you know who fucking did it?
00:44:06Wendell Hatch. He was having an affair with her.
00:44:08He came to me to help him set up an alibi.
00:44:10It couldn't fucking be Wendell Hatch, man.
00:44:12That's bullshit, man!
00:44:14It couldn't be that little anal wart.
00:44:16Hey, think about it, Hannibal.
00:44:18Were there times when she wanted to meet people who you'd never met?
00:44:20What?
00:44:22Right?
00:44:24Did she want to take a shower before she was with you?
00:44:26Show me that! Jewelry!
00:44:28Did she have any?
00:44:30New jewelry. A bracelet. A necklace.
00:44:34Talk to me.
00:44:36Shit.
00:44:38He's fucking right.
00:44:40I caught her.
00:44:42I caught her with some big-ass
00:44:44fucking zirconian diamond earrings.
00:44:46Shit is right, man.
00:44:48It happens more often than you think.
00:44:50Come on, fellas.
00:44:52I know where he lives, man. Come on.
00:44:54What about that time when we went to Gino's party
00:44:56and I told you we'd seen her?
00:44:58Don't do it, Hannibal.
00:45:00There's a better way.
00:45:02Better than shooting his ass?
00:45:04Better than you going to prison
00:45:06for avenging a girl who was fucking around on you?
00:45:08Better than you throwing away
00:45:10what you've got going on for a third strike
00:45:12that will get you the needle?
00:45:14The needle, motherfucker? What do you know about me, man?
00:45:16You smart, huh?
00:45:18What do you know about me? You don't know me, man.
00:45:20Yeah, the ink says you've been inside.
00:45:22And I know you drive for Hatch
00:45:24to pay for your tuition fees.
00:45:26You promise he goes down?
00:45:28I can make it happen.
00:45:30You better make it happen, because if he walks,
00:45:32I'm gonna kill him.
00:45:34Hey, you follow me?
00:45:36You've made yourself very clear.
00:45:38That's not my idea, Bubba.
00:45:40I said he made himself very clear!
00:45:42I almost capped my first one, and...
00:45:44I told you they were rats, motherfucker!
00:45:46Excuse me.
00:45:52Hello?
00:45:54Ray, my friend.
00:45:56Is this a bad time?
00:45:58It's a very bad time.
00:46:00Can you come by?
00:46:02I was hoping we could firm up some dates
00:46:04for our business.
00:46:06I can't tonight.
00:46:08Um...
00:46:10I've got, uh...
00:46:12I've got laundry.
00:46:14Tomorrow, then.
00:46:16Oh, and by the way,
00:46:18a gentleman contacted me
00:46:20regarding you this afternoon.
00:46:22What did he want?
00:46:24He wanted me to take you out.
00:46:26Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not your type.
00:46:28It wasn't some sodomite tea party, Ray.
00:46:34What did you say?
00:46:36I said it was out of the question.
00:46:38As we have unfinished business, you and I.
00:46:42What did he offer you?
00:46:44A man should always know his worth.
00:46:46Your asking price is 23,000.
00:46:52Tell Hutch you'll take it.
00:46:54Very impressive.
00:46:56But suicide is still a sin, Ray.
00:46:58Take the contract.
00:47:00At least I know he won't be hiring anyone else.
00:47:02You know, if I had Jack McGatts,
00:47:04whereabouts you and I might never need to speak again.
00:47:08Five million dollars buys a lot of forgiveness.
00:47:12I'll see you tomorrow.
00:47:20Shit.
00:47:26Shit.
00:47:46Lucky for you, I didn't make any other plans tonight.
00:47:50What happened?
00:47:52I was carjacked.
00:47:56Doubtful?
00:48:00Care to try again?
00:48:02It was Hutch's driver.
00:48:06Why would he come after you?
00:48:08It's better if you don't know.
00:48:12I think I can decide what I can't handle.
00:48:14Well?
00:48:16Uh...
00:48:18It was Hutch's son.
00:48:22He spent last weekend in Santa Barbara
00:48:24where he killed his date.
00:48:28And I...
00:48:30We were on the job.
00:48:32And I...
00:48:34We were on the job.
00:48:36And I...
00:48:38We were on the job.
00:48:40And I...
00:48:42We were on the job.
00:48:44I got that guy Putty
00:48:46to take care of it.
00:48:48And now the cops are all over me
00:48:50and a very bad man
00:48:52has been hired to kill me.
00:48:54Are you sure this job is worth it?
00:48:58It's not normally this bad.
00:49:04You ever consider asking your old partner for help?
00:49:08It's not so easy.
00:49:10Why?
00:49:12Because you're Jack McAdam?
00:49:16Makes a certain amount of sense.
00:49:20What that guy Putty said.
00:49:22Your trip to San Francisco.
00:49:24How much it must have cost
00:49:26to start up your company.
00:49:28Plus you calling Jack your boss
00:49:30when I really can't see you
00:49:32ever working for anyone.
00:49:34A woman can tell
00:49:36when a man's lying, Ray.
00:49:38If she's paying attention
00:49:40and if she really wants to know.
00:49:42And if I can figure it out,
00:49:44I might not be the only one.
00:49:46It's funny.
00:49:48Um...
00:49:50You think I am Jack.
00:49:52The detective thinks I killed Jack.
00:49:54And the Mormon thinks
00:49:56I know where Jack is hiding out.
00:49:58So who's right?
00:50:02I know you won't believe me, Ray.
00:50:04But not everyone's working at Angle.
00:50:09Well...
00:50:11That may be.
00:50:13But for five million dollars,
00:50:15somebody might take a chance.
00:50:20Then I suppose you have a choice to make.
00:50:24I suppose I do.
00:50:38You look like a man with a problem.
00:50:42Several.
00:50:44Care to add to the burden?
00:50:48I need an alibi for Thursday night.
00:50:50Something extremely sturdy.
00:50:54Well, the only
00:50:56absolutely airtight alibi
00:50:58is death.
00:51:00What's happening Thursday night?
00:51:02I'm tired.
00:51:06Let me explain something.
00:51:08It helps if I know
00:51:10where you're going to be
00:51:12so I can pretend you're somewhere else.
00:51:14Help!
00:51:16Honey.
00:51:22I'll be at the Angle
00:51:24when you get back.
00:51:27Fine.
00:51:29I'll be at the Elroy Hotel.
00:51:32If that's all you get.
00:51:34And, uh,
00:51:36where would you like to pretend to be?
00:51:39Does it matter?
00:51:41It's your neck.
00:51:52Thank you, Adele.
00:51:56How about this?
00:51:58How about if I write you a check right now
00:52:00and we forget we ever met?
00:52:06You have five million in your checking account?
00:52:10Unless you're trying to tell me that Jack
00:52:12is already a non-issue.
00:52:14You wouldn't have me waste my time
00:52:16looking for a man who's already passed on
00:52:18to the
00:52:20greater Celestial Court.
00:52:23Would you?
00:52:27Anything else, Ray?
00:52:30Not right now.
00:52:42All right.
00:52:46So, uh,
00:52:48is this a social call?
00:52:50Business, actually.
00:52:52I've heard you want my boss dead.
00:52:54Excuse me?
00:52:56Please, Mr. Hatch, I'm on a deadline.
00:52:58I kind of thought that, uh,
00:53:00you and Ray was doing...
00:53:02You thought wrong.
00:53:04Well, can I ask why?
00:53:06No.
00:53:08Now,
00:53:10your only problem is
00:53:12the man who you approached
00:53:14to get the job done
00:53:16is now working with Ray.
00:53:18You understand that there's a difference
00:53:20between wanting somebody dead
00:53:22and actually doing something about it.
00:53:24And here I thought
00:53:26that you were the proactive
00:53:28captain of industry type.
00:53:30My mistake.
00:53:32I won't waste your time.
00:53:36Okay.
00:53:38Okay.
00:53:40So let's say, uh,
00:53:42hypothetically, that I was remotely
00:53:44interested in this thing.
00:53:46Let's say, hypothetically, you show up here tomorrow
00:53:48with $100,000 cash.
00:53:50And?
00:53:52Should I bring something else?
00:53:58Your appetite.
00:54:04Come in.
00:54:06So it's not a problem?
00:54:08For you, sweetie, nothing's a problem.
00:54:10Good.
00:54:12How's things with you and Ted lately?
00:54:14Oh, I don't know.
00:54:16Maybe I should have tried harder.
00:54:18Well, uh,
00:54:20there's no rule that says
00:54:22you can't make up with your husband.
00:54:24If you, uh, if you still love him.
00:54:26Wow.
00:54:28Did Ray Elliot
00:54:30actually just use the L word without smirking?
00:54:32I'm just saying.
00:54:34Oh, my God.
00:54:36Ray's got a girlfriend.
00:54:40Oh, that's...
00:54:42To be honest with you, Dorothy,
00:54:44I'm not sure what I've got.
00:54:46Oh, sure you do.
00:54:52Ray.
00:54:54How's it going?
00:54:56Pretty much as I expected.
00:54:58Let's get rolling.
00:55:00All right, ladies.
00:55:02It's on.
00:55:04Yes, Mr. Sykes.
00:55:06That's right.
00:55:08Ray would consider it a personal favor.
00:55:10Oh, Wendell Hatch.
00:55:12Yeah?
00:55:14Mr. Sykes, this is Detective Holbrook.
00:55:16We'd like you to come down to the station
00:55:18and answer a few questions.
00:55:20How well do you know Ray Elliot?
00:55:22He's involved in a missing person case
00:55:24we're working on.
00:55:26He is? What did he just say?
00:55:28A young lady named Heather Bryce.
00:55:30See, we believe Mr. Elliot took her
00:55:32to a bed-and-breakfast this weekend.
00:55:34She hasn't been heard from since.
00:55:36Mr. Elliot took...
00:55:38took her to a bed-and-breakfast?
00:55:40What do I always tell you about mumbling?
00:55:43Seems like he's been spinning some tale
00:55:45to the Santa Barbara Police Department
00:55:47about how his credit cards were stolen,
00:55:49but we're pretty sure
00:55:51that he killed her.
00:55:53Thank you.
00:55:55Do you know anything about it?
00:55:57Why would you think that I would?
00:55:59One of the officers started talking to Mr. Elliot,
00:56:01and he said there was an altercation at the bar.
00:56:03Oh.
00:56:05I don't know him,
00:56:07but he works for my father, I think, sometimes.
00:56:09And I was in this bar,
00:56:11and he came in, and he was drunk,
00:56:13and, uh, he was really, really drunk.
00:56:15Were there, uh...
00:56:17words exchanged?
00:56:19Words?
00:56:21Yeah, words.
00:56:23You know, those things you use to form sentences?
00:56:25Only this time in a hostile context.
00:56:27Yeah, there were words,
00:56:29but it just, you know, like...
00:56:31Hey, you jerk.
00:56:33You know, so it wasn't anything,
00:56:35but he did hit me out of nowhere.
00:56:37He just swung at me,
00:56:39like I was some dead girl.
00:56:41If that's what your question was.
00:56:45Okay.
00:56:47Okay.
00:56:49Thanks for clearing that up, Moustache.
00:56:51Oh, um, I hope you find this guy,
00:56:53because that's terrible.
00:56:55Hey, you know what?
00:56:57We always get the bad guy, Moustache.
00:56:59As a matter of fact, the owner of the Bed and Breakfast
00:57:01is gonna come in and take a look at some pictures.
00:57:03Great.
00:57:05You ever been to this place?
00:57:07No, I haven't been.
00:57:09Hey, hey, hey.
00:57:11It's just routine, Mr. Hatch.
00:57:13We want to mix in some photos with Mr. Elliott's.
00:57:15You know, give the guy some faces to choose from.
00:57:17I mean, don't you have to ask my permission before you do that?
00:57:19He don't mind, do you?
00:57:21I mean, he's not gonna pick you out, so...
00:57:23what's the harm?
00:57:25No, it's just... fuck.
00:57:27Oh, don't.
00:57:29Excuse us for a minute.
00:57:38Sorry about that.
00:57:40So what were you saying?
00:57:42Oh, nothing, nothing.
00:57:44I just remembered I have a thing.
00:57:46Thanks for coming in, by the way.
00:57:48Sure.
00:57:56Something like that?
00:57:58I think you've earned yourself a store credit.
00:58:02Uh, Shady Grove?
00:58:04Matthew, come, please.
00:58:07Speaking.
00:58:09Mr. Klump, congratulations.
00:58:11Today is your lucky day.
00:58:13You have just won a night of total luxury
00:58:15in beautiful Los Angeles.
00:58:17And all for being a loyal subscriber to B&B magazine.
00:58:20Yes, we'd remove all the outstanding items from your bill,
00:58:23plus give you a small credit.
00:58:25You got it.
00:58:27And those would be red roses?
00:58:29Yes, I'd like one dozen.
00:58:31Okay, no problem.
00:58:33Right, so deliver the envelope
00:58:36Adele.
00:58:38These flowers are a pale comparison to you.
00:58:42Love, Bob.
00:58:44Who's Bob?
00:58:46Bob's the guy who made the mistake
00:58:48of sending my wife flowers.
00:58:50Don't let her out of your sight.
00:59:06Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:59:08Where are you going?
00:59:10The dressing room.
00:59:12Unless you boys want me to strip right here.
00:59:22I was wondering when you were going to show up.
00:59:25I'm afraid I could just eat you up.
00:59:28Well, just hold that thought.
00:59:31That was from you.
00:59:34Ray, you are going to spoil me.
00:59:37You know, I think I am.
00:59:40Now, can you be at the El Roy Hotel tomorrow at 6.15 p.m.?
00:59:45I got us a room.
00:59:48Oh, no.
00:59:50I'd have to miss choir practice.
00:59:53I'm sorry.
00:59:55I'm sorry.
00:59:57I'm sorry.
00:59:59Choir practice.
01:00:02I could write you a note.
01:00:07Okay, maybe I'm no Casanova.
01:00:10And maybe I'm in way over my head.
01:00:13But this was always Jack's job.
01:00:15I was the pencil pusher, the statistical expert.
01:00:18Unfortunately, being able to tell you
01:00:20that seven in ten murders are crimes of passion
01:00:23or three in four hit men are hired by one spouse to kill the other
01:00:27is completely irrelevant information.
01:00:29Unless, of course, you're the one they are hired to kill.
01:00:33Jack was right.
01:00:35I should never have gone straight.
01:00:44Uh, I need a piece.
01:00:47A piece of what?
01:00:50You know, a gun.
01:00:52Oh, why do you say that, Snoop Dogg?
01:00:54Let me show you what we got.
01:00:58You ever get the feeling you're running out of leads?
01:01:00This is Walsh.
01:01:01I mean, I'm a happily married mother of two,
01:01:03and this guy's staring at my fucking left breast all the time.
01:01:05I think we might have something.
01:01:07This guy I've had watching, Hannibal,
01:01:09picked up something going down this afternoon at the Albright Hotel.
01:01:11Yeah? How good is your guy?
01:01:13Good enough to supply a room number. It's worth a look, right?
01:01:15Great. Let's go.
01:01:27Ray.
01:01:28Yeah, your boy's here.
01:01:29Any sign of Wendell?
01:01:31Not yet.
01:01:32You sure this is gonna work out, huh?
01:01:34You and your low-rent circus.
01:01:36Look at that. What'd it get that clown from Central Casting?
01:01:41I'm off to church.
01:01:42Shit.
01:01:43Ma'am, ma'am, you wanna hang out a minute?
01:01:45Did you clear that with the boss?
01:01:47Well, I go every Thursday,
01:01:50but you can check it with the choirmaster if you want.
01:01:54You know, we got that thing...
01:01:56We got the thing we gotta do.
01:01:58Don't be late.
01:02:14The new partner.
01:02:15The late, great Ray Elliott.
01:02:19And that's why, if we all stay cool, everything's gonna be just...
01:02:22Don't tell me to stay cool. I am cool, right?
01:02:25Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:02:27Little piece of shit just arrived.
01:02:41Hey, calm down.
01:02:42Goddamn it, man. He's bailing. I told you he was gonna bail.
01:02:45Tell me what's happening.
01:02:46He just left. Look, he did it your way, now I'm gonna try it my way.
01:02:49How about that?
01:02:50We have to stick to the plan.
01:02:51Otherwise, people are gonna get seriously hurt,
01:02:53and Wendell will walk.
01:02:55Just get him inside.
01:02:56Yeah, whatever.
01:02:57That crew must be weak.
01:03:01Hey, Holmes.
01:03:02Is this the coat?
01:03:03My car over there, is that right?
01:03:04Thanks.
01:03:05Thanks.
01:03:11All right, he's inside.
01:03:13So, uh, I brought what you told me to bring.
01:03:17I like a man that knows how to take direction.
01:03:20Why don't we go up to your room and talk?
01:03:51Um...
01:03:54My grandfather is staying here.
01:03:57And, uh, what is your grandfather's name?
01:04:00Uh, Klump. Klump.
01:04:04Yes, sir, he just checked in.
01:04:09I'll just...
01:04:10Thank you.
01:04:13Sir.
01:04:16It's room 1015.
01:04:20Room 1015.
01:04:28Yeah?
01:04:29Mr. Klump, what are you doing here?
01:04:32I won a contest.
01:04:47Welcome to the Elroy Hotel.
01:04:48May I help you?
01:04:49Say hello to me.
01:04:50The name is McGillicuddy.
01:04:56Here you are.
01:05:01Mr. Klump, this is very important.
01:05:06Exactly what kind of contest did you win?
01:05:11A magazine kind.
01:05:20A drink?
01:05:21Is that all you're offering?
01:05:23Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:05:26Let's get the business out of the way first.
01:05:28You sure you still want to get rid of Ray?
01:05:30I am not a man prone to second thoughts.
01:05:34And you haven't found anyone else?
01:05:36No.
01:05:37Good.
01:05:39How do I know you're for real?
01:05:43You'll never know for sure.
01:05:46But I promise you won't be disappointed.
01:06:12Adele?
01:06:15You son of a bitch!
01:06:19Stay here and keep an eye out.
01:06:20Sir.
01:06:34Whoever you are, somebody really wants you dead.
01:06:39Now, I don't know about you, Bobby, but I'm feeling pretty dirty.
01:06:42Did I watch you?
01:06:56Ray.
01:06:57Hey.
01:06:58I was worried about you. Where have you been?
01:07:00Just covering our accounts as instructed.
01:07:04So, I think I have something to tell you.
01:07:06I'm actually a huge opera fan.
01:07:10That's what you needed to tell me?
01:07:12But I've always preferred Carmen to Salome, in a way.
01:07:17Because in Salome, the hero loses his head,
01:07:21and in Carmen, the evil temptress is made to pay with her life?
01:07:24Ah, no. Actually, it's the overture.
01:07:28Hey, Lola. Are you okay?
01:07:33Yeah. I'm ready.
01:07:40Excuse me, sir.
01:07:49Ice? With champagne?
01:07:51Oh, forget the ice, huh? Why don't you get in the car with me, huh?
01:07:54I know these things that we can do with the water jets.
01:07:57I'll tell you what...
01:07:58Shh. Trust me. When I'm done with you, you're gonna need ice.
01:08:02I'll tell you what.
01:08:03I'll tell you what.
01:08:04I'll tell you what.
01:08:05I'll tell you what.
01:08:06I'll tell you what.
01:08:07Trust me. When I'm done with you, you're gonna need ice.
01:08:12Can I help you?
01:08:13Yeah. I'm looking for Ray. I mean, Bob.
01:08:16He's a guest here.
01:08:18Are you Adele?
01:08:19Yes.
01:08:21Room 1215.
01:08:23Thank you.
01:08:38I've learned to not rely on a single person in this world.
01:08:42And I'm not.
01:08:44I'm relying on a dozen.
01:08:46Mostly cheats, killers, and cons.
01:08:51And I happen to trust these people.
01:08:54Or at least trust in their baser instincts.
01:08:57Let's hope they don't disappoint me.
01:09:00Nice shoes.
01:09:02Oh. Thank you.
01:09:07Oh, fuck.
01:09:11I've got a paper cut.
01:09:12I've got a paper cut.
01:09:13Oh, I don't like that.
01:09:14Oh, I don't like that.
01:09:15Seriously, I'm a moron.
01:09:16I'm a moron.
01:09:17I beat myself.
01:09:19I beat myself.
01:09:20I am a moron.
01:09:21I'm a moron.
01:09:22Oh, I'm a moron.
01:09:23I beat myself.
01:09:24Oh, I'm a moron.
01:09:26I'm a moron.
01:09:27I'm a moron.
01:09:28Good. Boss, you better sit down.
01:09:33But the most important thing I learned from Jack was that in the face of real danger,
01:09:38make certain that you are never, ever around.
01:09:43I don't like this.
01:09:45Mr. Klump, I think we need to get you out of here.
01:09:47To hell no!
01:09:49This is Detective Walsh. Officer needs assistance. We're at the Elroy Hotel, room 1015.
01:09:53I swear, it was her!
01:09:57I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:01I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:03I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:05I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:07I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:09I'm gonna kill him!
01:10:12I'm gonna pray for God to resurrect him. I'm gonna kill him again.
01:10:18Ray? Where are you?
01:10:22Ray? Front desk?
01:10:24Do you have a Robert in the hotel?
01:10:26I'm sorry?
01:10:27A Robert. A Bob.
01:10:29What is the last name, sir?
01:10:31I don't know. Just tell me if there are any Roberts or goddamn Bobs in the hotel.
01:10:35Or I will come down there and personally shove that phone...
01:10:39Do you have a first initial R?
01:10:41Yeah.
01:10:42R Elliot, room 1215.
01:10:48Sir?
01:10:49Hello?
01:10:51Hello?
01:10:55So, I never thought it would come down to this.
01:10:59You try to cover all the bases, do your homework.
01:11:03But at the end of the day, it's the people you trust.
01:11:09I'm not a huge proponent of that word.
01:11:11I prefer leverage to human nature at any day.
01:11:18Sometimes you just have to roll the dice.
01:11:26Come on in. The water's fine.
01:11:31I ask you a question.
01:11:33Shoot.
01:11:35It's a big of a speech.
01:11:38You're almost done.
01:11:49Room service.
01:11:59It's over.
01:12:08Oh, my God.
01:12:10Your friend Alois?
01:12:20Oh, shit.
01:12:39Listen, please, I swear to God, I've never seen this woman before in my life.
01:12:44My name is Robin Hatch.
01:12:46Bob Hatch?
01:12:47If you prefer.
01:12:48See any flowers for a wife down there?
01:12:55What's going on here?
01:12:57To be honest with you, I'm not quite sure.
01:13:00Hey, that's the guy you're always asking about.
01:13:04I've never seen this old guy before in my life.
01:13:06He's lying.
01:13:07What are you doing in his room with a gun?
01:13:10Hey, boss.
01:13:11What?
01:13:12It's 6.13.
01:13:15God bless you.
01:13:27Don't kill him till I get back.
01:13:37Yes.
01:13:45I suppose we'll have to fight.
01:14:06Shit.
01:14:17Wait, wait, wait, where are we going?
01:14:25What about the contest?
01:14:27The contest? Don't worry, it's gonna be just fine.
01:14:31Step back into your suite.
01:14:36I don't know you, but you don't look that stupid.
01:15:06I'd say we're in the back of the hotel right now.
01:15:13Housekeeping.
01:15:16Hello?
01:15:17Huh?
01:15:33Roger that.
01:15:34The victim has seen several gunshot wounds to the chest.
01:15:39We have positive ID on shooting victim.
01:15:41Victim identified as Jack McKesson.
01:15:43EOB, unknown. Proximate age 24.
01:15:48Lola, come on, let's go.
01:15:53Lola!
01:16:04153 domestic and international warrants.
01:16:08Negative. We have no identical gunshot wounds.
01:16:12Victim has been identified as Jack McKesson.
01:16:38Lola!
01:16:41Lola!
01:16:44Lola!
01:16:47Lola!
01:17:07When marimba rhythms start to play Dance with me, make me sway
01:17:35Like a lady ocean high to the shore Hold me close, sway me more
01:17:57What the hell was wrong with the other 15 bodies that I showed you?
01:18:02I just wanted to make sure it was a good match.
01:18:06Bull, you just couldn't stand the idea of you not leaving a good-looking corpse.
01:18:10Vanity's gonna be the death of you, Ray.
01:18:14Let's hope.
01:18:21That should cover the cops and any incidentals.
01:18:24Then so.
01:18:26Hey, Cam, put him somewhere nice.
01:18:32It's not every day you get to bury yourself.
01:18:40What are you gonna do with the money?
01:18:42Assuming the Sultan actually pays what he says.
01:18:45I don't know. Five million's a lot of cash.
01:18:48But I'm a river to my people.
01:18:51Five million's a lot of cash. But I'm a river to my people.
01:18:56The less of the warmed-over Lawrence of Arabia, Sadir.
01:18:59You're from Boston.
01:19:00Well, I have people.
01:19:03Goodbye, Jacob McCann.
01:19:05May I rest in peace.
01:19:10Here's a news, Finn.
01:19:11If one in four men cheat on their wives, then three in four are faithful.
01:19:16And an even more admirable nine in ten women.
01:19:19Not bad odds to play.
01:19:22So, no more Jack, no more alibis, no more worries.
01:19:26Just the thought of waking up every morning and hearing...
01:19:29You are such an asshole.
01:19:32Well, you know, sometimes it helps if you don't know the whole story.
01:19:38In business, not in relationships.
01:19:41I want you to be part of my new life, not my old one.
01:19:46So, where should we go?
01:19:49It's up to you.
01:19:52But you said you'd already visited the Holy Land, so...
01:19:55I also mentioned that I'd show you not everyone is working in England.
01:20:00Noted.
01:20:01I think we should try this full disclosure thing and see how it goes.
01:20:05Yeah, you know, I'm not so sure about Asia. How's London?
01:20:08Not a good idea at the moment.
01:20:10The Caribbean?
01:20:11Some minor unfinished litigation.
01:20:13Paris?
01:20:14Yes. Actually, no.
01:20:17Amsterdam?
01:20:19Queensland.
01:20:33I just realised you're quite a bit taller than me, aren't you?