Roasted! Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the best roasts, chirps, zingers and insults on “Shoresy”.
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00:00What if you don't win the tournament?
00:02We stay ugly.
00:03But maybe your mom's text me just a little bit less.
00:07Welcome to WatchMojo,
00:09and today we're counting down our picks for the best roasts, chirps, zingers, and insults on Shorzy.
00:15For this list, we'll be excluding the fine roasts found on Letterkenny.
00:19If you see an old lady in the stands up there, just put one of those on her.
00:24Number 10.
00:25You get that whining from your mom, bud.
00:27Sue Hunt.
00:28In a game against the Barrelmen, Shorzy is on the bad end of a brutal hit and suffers a concussion.
00:33Please sit.
00:34I've got a concussion, not multiple scleritis.
00:37Close.
00:37When he's back reffing again, Corey and Liam waste no time chirping him,
00:41suggesting that he doesn't blow his whistle too hard or he might get another concussion.
00:46He replies he has to worry about the same thing from Corey's mom blowing on his dink.
00:51Don't blow your whistle too hard, Shorzy, or you'll give yourself another conky.
00:53I said the same thing to your mom about blowing my dink.
00:56Later in the game, Liam complains about being called for a penalty with five minutes left in a tie game.
01:02Shorzy shoots back that he gets his whining from his mom.
01:05You get that whining from your mom, bud.
01:07It's simple, but effective.
01:09Number 9.
01:10One away from Wayne Gretzky, eh?
01:13Vaughn Canadesi.
01:14Sudbury is hosting a senior hockey tournament featuring the top teams across the country.
01:19We're hosting the national senior tournament in a week.
01:21We're beat up from the feet up.
01:23Seven days rest can go a long way.
01:24We're supposed to be there because we're the best team.
01:26Now we're only there because we're the host team.
01:28The team participating from Southern Ontario is the Vaughn Canadesi,
01:32which is entirely comprised of players of Italian descent.
01:36One of their more notable players is Sly Silvestri, who wears the number 98.
01:42During the warm-up in a game against the Bulldogs, Shorzy can't help but be aghast when he sees this.
01:4898! 98!
01:51What?
01:51Get the darn number off your back!
01:53He begins to mercilessly taunt Silvestri because his number is one away from Wayne Gretzky.
01:59He feigns awe at Silvestri's superstar skill and sarcastically states he will get a double hat-trick.
02:05One away from the great Vaughn himself.
02:07Wow!
02:08Number 8.
02:09I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either.
02:114-6.
02:12After the Bulldogs go the entire season undefeated, they lose to the Hunt in the championship game.
02:18Obviously that stings, but it's not as bad as the chirps received by Liam and Corey from Shorzy during a beer league game.
02:25Regular season league record only blowed in playoffs. Must sting.
02:28A little bit, Corey.
02:29Any regrets?
02:30My only regret is not serving my country.
02:32Oh yeah?
02:33Yeah, and I think about it every time I go to war on your mom's ass.
02:36The pair start to roast Shorzy for being injured and he responds that the two are so freaking funny.
02:41Liam asks why he isn't laughing.
02:43He assures him he doesn't laugh at Liam's mom's jokes either.
02:47Don't worry Liam, I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either and every time she's like, what? I'm funny.
02:52In typical fashion, Shorzy then fires off a bunch of one-liners about being with Corey and Liam's moms with some of what he says being absolutely brutal.
03:01Liam, every time I hit your mom from the back it sounds like someone running in flip-flop.
03:05Number 7.
03:06Hey, what does that remind you of Delaney?
03:09Set the tone.
03:10An American team, the Sioux Hunt, joins the no-show.
03:13And they're looking to take down the Bulldogs and end their win streak.
03:17The Yanks brought their team in a day early for a Sudbury Saturday night game.
03:20Guess no one told them our Fridays have a similar reputation.
03:23The Hunt are so nervous about winning, they come to Sudbury a day early to prep.
03:28However, one of the Hunt's star players, Delaney, was spotted out partying all night and come game day, Shorzy is ready to pounce during warm-up.
03:37Well, how does it feel Delaney? You did so much blow, you're in the no-show.
03:40He's quick to run through a myriad of one-liners about a certain substance Delaney allegedly snorted.
03:46The best one being when he presents a pile of snow on the blade of his stick and asks the Hunt player what it reminds him of.
03:53Hey, what does that remind you of Delaney? Hey, what does that remind you of?
03:56Number 6.
03:57Boys, just tell your moms to leave me alone.
04:00Skill vs. Will.
04:01The Bulldogs pose for a spicy calendar and it's a hit.
04:05Just can't believe you got them to do this shit.
04:07Ask and you shall receive.
04:08They knew how much ass would follow.
04:09Bingo.
04:10Got us to 50% full.
04:11Mom's in seats, baby.
04:13Impressive numbers for senior hockey.
04:14Of course, having a spray tan and being greased up may cause some to take shots at you.
04:19Which is what happens to Shorzy.
04:21While reffing a game, Liam and Corey begin to rip on him for posing for the calendar.
04:25Don't worry, bud. Your spray tan mid-December in Northern Ontario didn't stand out at all.
04:29Glad to hear, Liam!
04:30Don't worry, no one's calling you Jersey Shorzy.
04:33They get a few digs in, but of course, Shorzy's got a response.
04:36He goes after their moms, stressing how they're both competing for his attention
04:40and how Liam's mom is waiting for him to come back with a wet, warm towel.
04:44He ends the interaction by telling the pair to have their respective moms leave him alone.
04:49Boys, just tell your moms to leave me alone.
04:51I'm not getting matching tattoos.
04:53Number 5.
04:54Is there an eclipse tonight?
04:55Get em focused.
04:56The Sioux Cyclones are one of the strongest teams in the no-show.
05:00And during the Bulldogs' losing streak, they were one of the most feared.
05:03The Sioux, they're always so good.
05:05Oui, mademoiselle, but the big story out of Sudbury is that they may have poked the bear.
05:09This changes when the Bulldogs go on their winning streak,
05:12defeating the Cyclones to win the no-show championship.
05:15The Sioux have an intimidating look with their blacked-out visors,
05:18but Shorzy uses that to rip into them in another miked-up moment.
05:23I love those color exchanges too, but you cannot beat the Sioux.
05:26What he says is so simple, but beautiful.
05:29Casually passing by their bench, he asks them if there's an eclipse.
05:33We are. Is there an eclipse tonight?
05:35You don't have to complicate things to get a good roast in.
05:38Number 4.
05:39You can sell ads on that thing.
05:41Get em focused.
05:42It's pretty common for athletes to be miked up during games.
05:45Check it, you saw the most recent installment of Bulldogs miked up.
05:48Oui, monsieur.
05:49And here are my personal highlights from last week's bout with the Hicks from Timmins.
05:53It can be both fun and informative as it gives fans watching at home
05:57a chance to hear some of what's said during the game.
05:59Shorzy wouldn't be the best because most of it wouldn't be usable for network TV.
06:04However, it's great for capturing him just eviscerating opponents on the ice.
06:08That sea get even bigger? You should sell ads on that thing.
06:11In a segment for Questionable Call, we get to hear some of what he says
06:15and some of his best lines are at North Bay's Captain Keller.
06:19Targeting the large sea, Shorzy comes up with a few zingers.
06:23You know what might look nice is some overhead lights right here.
06:26Number three.
06:27What's more important is that you're continuing to grow as a person.
06:31Don't poke the bear.
06:32While reffing a beer league game, Liam and Corey gloat about how their team is in first place.
06:37Hey, we're leading the league now, eh bud?
06:39In what? Passes into the skate?
06:41This, of course, draws the ire of Shorzy, who begins to knock them down a peg.
06:45First, he attacks them by suggesting their play is terrible.
06:48When they stress that they're in first, he replies that their personal growth is what's really important.
06:53We're first, idiot.
06:54What's more important is that you're continuing to grow as a person.
06:57He then moves on to insults, suggesting the boys are acne-riffing on the benefits of Clearasil and Accutane.
07:04Shorzy does become a bit rattled when they mention the Bulldogs' upcoming game against the Sioux,
07:08but he struggles to come up with a coherent chirp.
07:12When are you changing your name to the White Grape Weinbrenners?
07:14When you change your name to the Sudbury Blackhead Dermabrasions.
07:19Number two.
07:20Everything's bigger in North Bay.
07:22If you can't win, don't play.
07:24The North Bay Norsemen are in town with a game against the Blueberry Bulldogs.
07:29Prior to the start of the game, we find out that the captain of the Norsemen, Keller,
07:33has a comically large C on his sweater.
07:35Hulk has a C on their captain's sweater.
07:37Keller?
07:38It's the biggest C you've ever seen in your life.
07:40This will, of course, be the thing Shorzy latches onto when heckling the Norsemen's captain in the pre-game warm-up.
07:46We have to admit, it is ridiculously large.
07:49Hey, everything's bigger in North Bay, eh, Keller?
07:52Shorzy can hone in on a small or, in this case, oversized detail and mercilessly rip you to shreds for it.
07:59Keller's strategy of non-engagement does nothing to stem the flow of chirps.
08:04Making it bigger doesn't make it better, Keller.
08:08It's not tipped.
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08:25Number one.
08:26Your mom made me a mix CD with only three bands on it.
08:29Veteran Presence.
08:31The Bulldogs are on an epic losing streak and the team is in danger of folding.
08:35So, Shorzy has recruited some studs to bolster the team with Veteran Presence.
08:40Sounds like bums in seats.
08:41Veteran Presence.
08:42When do they get here?
08:43Pretty soon, Ski.
08:44They're all on the same flight from Toronto.
08:46Additionally, the Bulldogs acquire a sponsorship from the Sudbury Blueberry Festival,
08:50resulting in them becoming the Blueberry Bulldogs.
08:53While Shorzy refs a game, two players chirp him over the new team name.
08:57Honestly, bud, the Sudbury Passion Fruits would sound tougher.
09:00The Sudbury Honeydew Hounds.
09:01Take that championship pedigree straight to the zoo and get pumped for another 19.
09:05Of course, chirping someone like Shorzy is risky business.
09:09He hits back with a series of roasts targeting their moms,
09:12with the best one being how Liam's mom sent him a mix CD containing the bands
09:16Moist, The Wailers, and Wet Wet Wet.
09:19Ew, Liam, your mom made me a mix CD with only three bands on it.
09:23Moist, The Wailers, and Wet Wet Wet.
09:25What's your favorite Shorzy roast?
09:27Let us know in the comments.
09:29Cory, I got your mom on speed dial and Liam's mom blocked.
09:32I don't know which one should be more embarrassed.
09:34Did you enjoy this video?
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