Funny Men vs. Funny Women, 2/89
Transcript
00:00The Family Feud Show Network.
00:05It's time for an all-star Family Feud special
00:09starring the funny men against these funny women.
00:14Gene Kasem, Arlene Sorkin, Phyllis Diller, Jane Meadows,
00:20and Lena Reed, ready for action.
00:24Playing against the funny men,
00:27Steve Allen, Jimmy Walker, Willie Tyler, and Lester,
00:32Dick Gautier, and Richard Simmons.
00:35On your marks.
00:37Let's start The Family Feud
00:42with the star of Family Feud, Ray Combs.
00:47Thank you. Listen to those guys.
00:50Hey, Dick.
00:52Funny women.
00:54Thank you.
00:56Thank you.
00:58You want to kill?
01:00Thank you very much.
01:01Thank you for joining us at home.
01:03It's a special day.
01:04Ten very funny people who I like very much.
01:07Two wonderful charities, and I have $10,000.
01:09I would like to give one of them.
01:11Playing for the funny women, say hello to Alayna Reed,
01:13one of the wonderful stars of TTC.
01:15How are you?
01:16I'm fine.
01:17Good to have you on our show.
01:19It's a big year.
01:20You brought some very funny and pricky women.
01:23Who are they?
01:24I don't know.
01:25Well, I'll tell you if you don't know.
01:26Oh, Jean Kasem from Cheers.
01:28Good to see you, Jean.
01:29And Arlene Sorkin from Days of Our Lives in Duet.
01:32Welcome.
01:33And the wonderful duchess, Jane Meadows.
01:36It is good to see you, duchess.
01:38Thank you.
01:39And Phyllis Diller, America's Original 10.
01:41Ladies and gentlemen, yeah.
01:43The Original 10.
01:45Well, you've teamed up to play for a charity today,
01:48and that charity is?
01:49Vital Options.
01:50Which is?
01:51Which is research for cancer for young adults.
01:54Well, that's a very great charity.
01:56Wish you a lot of luck.
01:58But these guys would take that cash another way.
02:01Let's say hello to Dick Gautier and the Funny Men.
02:04Hey, Ray.
02:05How you doing, pal?
02:06Good.
02:07You look pretty mean.
02:08We are going to kill.
02:09You look great.
02:10We are going to kill.
02:11This is enough of that humiliation.
02:12You ready to go?
02:13We're going for it.
02:14Stop it.
02:15I'm hurting myself.
02:16Okay, all right.
02:17Dick, who'd you bring with you to help you kill?
02:20Well, oh, thank you very much.
02:22All right, Benji, go in the back, okay?
02:24I brought Willie and Lester, of course.
02:27And Lester, by the way, I saw him backstage.
02:29He is anatomically perfect, has a great body.
02:32Thank you.
02:33Unlike a couple of our guests.
02:34That's right.
02:35Talking about great bodies.
02:36Hey, a master of the segue, here's Richard Simmons.
02:38How you doing, Alan?
02:39And, of course, the ubiquitous,
02:41and I've never known what that means, Steve Allen.
02:43Hold your applause, please.
02:44Okay, and Jimmy Walker, comedian.
02:46I like that.
02:47Simple comedian.
02:48Just playing.
02:49Just a funny kind of cat.
02:50Just a funny guy.
02:51Guys, funny guys.
02:52You're playing for?
02:53I am playing for the Thalians.
02:55What is the Thalians?
02:57The Thalians is sort of an all-inclusive group
02:59attached to Cedars-Sinai.
03:00It gives a lot of money to emotionally disturbed
03:02and troubled children,
03:03and it's a very worthwhile charity.
03:05We've got two great charities.
03:06We've got a wonderful game,
03:07and I say let's play the few.
03:09Come on, Elena Reed.
03:11Go, Jay.
03:12Israel, look out.
03:13Dick, Dick, the object is to play against her,
03:16not to try to kiss her.
03:18Don't let him try to throw you off.
03:19You plan it your way.
03:20All right.
03:21The first team to $300 will win this game,
03:24get a chance to play Fast Money for the $10,000.
03:27Good luck.
03:28We asked 100 people this question.
03:29We have the top seven answers on the board.
03:32Name someone husbands complain to about their wives.
03:36Elena.
03:37Their best male friend.
03:38How about their best male friend?
03:40It is number one.
03:42Dick, you're going to kill?
03:44Dick, you're going to kill?
03:45I'm going to kill later.
03:46Okay, later you're going to kill.
03:47I'm getting into the killing.
03:48Jean Kasem.
03:49Hi.
03:50It's a pleasure to see you.
03:51Nice to see you.
03:52May I have the question again, please?
03:53Yes.
03:54Name someone husbands complain to about their wives.
03:56Oh, I hate this answer, but mistresses.
03:59Their mistresses?
04:00Ooh, yes, I know that's true.
04:02Well, I don't know.
04:04How do you know that's true?
04:05Because I know men.
04:07You do?
04:08Show me mistresses.
04:10Mm-hmm.
04:11You do know men.
04:13Arlene.
04:15I'm so upset I can't answer.
04:17Why?
04:18Just shocking.
04:19Anyway, mothers.
04:20I think they complain to their mothers.
04:21They would tell mommy about their wives.
04:24Show me mommy.
04:28Nine people said mommy.
04:30Jane Meadows, you play this game so well.
04:32Thank you so much.
04:33Thank you.
04:34You probably know number two.
04:35I hope so.
04:36It is?
04:37Psychiatrists.
04:38They're psychiatrists.
04:39Right, right, right.
04:40Well, let's see.
04:41We're in California.
04:42Show me psychiatrists.
04:44Didn't make our survey.
04:46Phyllis.
04:47I can't believe it.
04:48Bartender.
04:49What's that?
04:50Bartender.
04:51We need a bartender.
04:52Bartender.
04:53Oh, that's your answer.
04:54That's my answer.
04:55Oh, I thought you were hollering for the bartender.
04:56I thought you were hollering for the bartender.
04:58Let me see bartender.
05:01Verity.
05:04We still got number two, Elena.
05:06Okay.
05:07Someone husbands complain to about their wives.
05:09Their secretaries.
05:11Now, that's a good answer.
05:12It seems like.
05:13Secretaries.
05:15Oh, it's number seven.
05:17Thank you.
05:18Jean Casey.
05:21Think about it and send it to me.
05:23Their children.
05:24To their children.
05:25That's good.
05:26Show me kids.
05:29Didn't make our survey.
05:31Arlene, the pressure's on you,
05:32because if you don't give me one of the answers,
05:34they're going for the steal.
05:36Their siblings.
05:38Their siblings?
05:39That's good.
05:40Is that a good one?
05:41Getting a chance to steal?
05:42Let me see.
05:43I don't know.
05:44Show me siblings.
05:48Funny men.
05:49Name someone husbands complain to about their wives.
05:51Guys would know this.
05:52This is tricky, but watch this answer.
05:54Mother-in-law.
05:55Their mother-in-law.
05:56Which is her mother saying,
05:57your daughter's terrible, man.
06:00I've had enough of her stuff.
06:02Jimmy, Jimmy, calm down.
06:03Thank you for that definition of mother-in-law.
06:05He said mother-in-law, which is her mother.
06:08Steve?
06:10Their co-workers.
06:11Co-workers, Richard?
06:12I would say to strangers.
06:13To strangers.
06:14Marriage counselors.
06:15Marriage counselors.
06:16Dick, before you speak,
06:17you can take their answers,
06:18or you can go out on your own
06:19if you know one of those two.
06:21I think I'd go with co-workers.
06:23Co-workers over mother-in-law?
06:25Yeah.
06:26Jimmy, he didn't take your answer.
06:27That's okay.
06:28For that bank and a steal,
06:29show me co-workers.
06:32You got the bank, guys.
06:35Good job, Dick.
06:36He said he was going to do it.
06:39You said you were going to do it.
06:40Yes, I did it.
06:41We're killing, we're killing, yeah.
06:44What was number six?
06:47The boss?
06:49Mr. Goodson, I need to talk to you for a second,
06:51if I could.
06:52We'll be right back.
06:53Don't go away.
07:02Right now, our funny men have $59.
07:05Our funny women have zero.
07:07Let's go for another face-off.
07:08Gene Kasem,
07:10Willie, Tyler, and Lester
07:13at the face-off.
07:14You ready, Lester?
07:15I'm ready. Hi, Gene.
07:16All right, Lester, you feeling good?
07:17I feel real good when I get a chance.
07:18Take a practice swing.
07:19Huh?
07:20Take a practice swing.
07:21That's the best I can do.
07:23All right.
07:24We've got the top five answers on the board.
07:26We asked 100 people.
07:28Name something that makes your heart beat faster.
07:31Gene.
07:32Sex.
07:33Sex?
07:34You said sex?
07:36Gene.
07:37Oh.
07:39You've answered sex on every time I've asked you a question.
07:42But it was the right answer.
07:44Gene, you slapped that so hard,
07:45these earrings were moving like I don't know what.
07:47She says sex.
07:49It's there.
07:51She's never missed with it.
07:52Willie, there are two answers that will beat sex.
07:54I would say running.
07:56Running to sex.
07:58Let me see.
07:59Let me see running.
08:01Running from exercise.
08:03All right.
08:05The guys have come to play.
08:07There's a man that would know about exercise.
08:10Did we win?
08:11Not yet, Richard, but you're on your way.
08:13You're doing well.
08:14Fear.
08:15Fear.
08:16Oh, you knew it, Richard.
08:18Steve Allen.
08:19Hi.
08:20It's a pleasure to have you on Family Feud.
08:21It's nice to be had, as I always say.
08:23What is number four?
08:25Anger.
08:26Anger makes your heart beat faster?
08:27Anger's a good one.
08:28Let me see anger.
08:31Not there.
08:32Dang.
08:33That was a lot of anger.
08:34Jimmy Walker, name something that makes your heart beat faster.
08:38Well, I would say the same thing that may happen to you, Ray,
08:43and that's getting fired or any kind of situation,
08:46a pressure situation such as that.
08:48Getting pressure situation.
08:49Pressure situation.
08:50Which is it, fired or getting pressure?
08:51Pressure from a firing situation.
08:53Show me.
08:54Pressure from a firing situation.
08:56Show me pressure from a firing situation.
08:59Hey, man.
09:01Where do these people come from?
09:04Back there, Jimmy.
09:05Dick.
09:06I got one.
09:07They put the pressure on you.
09:08You're the guy that said you're going to win.
09:09You know what it is?
09:10Yeah.
09:11It's love.
09:12Is it love?
09:13It's love.
09:14L-O-V-E.
09:15Show me love.
09:17All right.
09:19Comes back to Willie, Tyler, and Lester,
09:21who started this whole thing.
09:22That's right.
09:23Give it to me.
09:24Lester, Willie, whoever's got it.
09:25You take it, Lester.
09:26I always say drinking spirits, you know.
09:28Drinking what?
09:29Spirits.
09:30I said drinking spirits, judge.
09:31If it's there, you guys are going to have a big lead.
09:33Oh, please.
09:34Oh, please.
09:35Not they're going for the steal.
09:36Show me spirits.
09:39Funny women.
09:40Name something that makes your heart beat faster, Phyllis.
09:42Coffee.
09:43Coffee.
09:44Good, good.
09:45Coffee.
09:46Jane, coffee.
09:47Excitement.
09:48Excitement.
09:49Jean.
09:50Nervousness.
09:51Nervousness.
09:52Elena.
09:53Well, I think I'll go with coffee, stimulants.
09:54You're going with coffee.
09:55If it's number five, they stole the bank right from you guys.
09:58Show me coffee.
10:00No, the funny has to go.
10:03Is that all we said was coffee?
10:06Everybody said coffee?
10:08I said nervousness.
10:09You said nervousness?
10:11What is number five?
10:14Rollercoaster.
10:16The guys have a big lead, but we're coming back
10:18and there's a lot more fun, so don't go away.
10:22Oh, my God.
10:27Welcome back to the Feud.
10:28We are having a lot of fun.
10:30Funny men have $143.
10:32The funny women have zero.
10:34Come on, guys.
10:35Time for another fun show.
10:39Arlene, Sorkin, Richard Simmons, the dollar value are double.
10:42We've got the top six answers on the board.
10:46Name something you always see in a pawn shop window.
10:50Richard.
10:51Gold.
10:52Let me see.
10:53Did you break your hand?
10:54Larry Parker got me $2.1 million.
10:56Show me gold.
10:57This could be good, Noah.
10:59It's number one.
11:04Back to think of a steal.
11:05Richard.
11:06Oh, what?
11:07You guys are on your way.
11:08You are on your way.
11:09We did it.
11:10We did it.
11:11We did it.
11:12Gosh.
11:13Gosh, Tin Man.
11:14Oh.
11:15Name something you always see in a pawn shop window.
11:18A musical instrument.
11:19Yeah.
11:20You see a lot of musicians have musical instruments.
11:21Always.
11:22Always.
11:23Show me an instrument.
11:24We're picking them up.
11:25Putting them down.
11:26Here we go.
11:27Here we go, man.
11:28What's number two?
11:29I'm going to take a shot with this one because I've seen it in a minute.
11:32Those three balls that they always have hanging up out there.
11:35Three balls?
11:36What is it?
11:37They always have those pawn shop balls out there.
11:40You know what I'm talking about.
11:41All right.
11:42It might be the three pawn shop balls.
11:44Show me the balls.
11:47Dick?
11:49I'll say stereo equipment.
11:53I've seen stereo equipment a lot.
11:55There's a lot of it there.
11:56Yep.
11:57Show me stereo equipment.
11:58Yeah.
11:59All right.
12:00Good job.
12:01Really, Tyler?
12:02Lester?
12:03Lester, you've never been in a pawn shop window, have you?
12:04Never been in a pawn shop window.
12:05That's right, Ray.
12:06You might know what number two is then.
12:07Well, let me see.
12:08Let me see.
12:09I think it's, what is it?
12:10Like, for example, furniture.
12:11Furniture.
12:12And tables and stuff like that.
12:13Yeah, there's a lot of that.
12:14Show me furniture.
12:16Oh, the girls might get a chance to steal.
12:17Keep it going, Richard.
12:18I think it is like silver.
12:21Like flatware.
12:22Like, you know, that kind of stuff.
12:25Am I right?
12:26Am I right?
12:27The judge says silver.
12:28Okay.
12:29Show me silver.
12:31That is, he took the first thing you said.
12:33Three strikes.
12:34We come over here to the funny women.
12:36Name something you always see in a pawn shop window.
12:38Phyllis, one answer.
12:39And I'm not ordering a drink.
12:40Okay.
12:41Camera.
12:42Camera, okay.
12:43Absolutely.
12:44Camera.
12:45Arlene?
12:46Furs.
12:47Furs.
12:48Clocks.
12:49Clocks.
12:50TVs.
12:51Is that what you're going to say?
12:52Cameras.
12:53You're going to say...
12:54I'll go with Phyllis.
12:55You're going to go with cameras
12:56and stay with the other ladies.
12:57If cameras are there, you got the bank.
12:58If not, the men have a bigger lead.
12:59Let me see.
13:00Cameras.
13:01There it is.
13:02And the ladies have the bank and are in the game.
13:04We've still got a few.
13:06What was number two?
13:09Watches.
13:10Watches.
13:11Number five.
13:13Guns.
13:14Guns.
13:15$143 for the funny men, but they're leading.
13:18The funny women have $110.
13:19Let's go.
13:20Time for another face-off.
13:22James.
13:23Come on, Steve.
13:24Husband against wife one more time.
13:26Go, go, run.
13:28Good question.
13:29The dollar value is now tripled.
13:31The top four answers are on the board.
13:33We asked 100 people.
13:35Name a government agency that you feel regularly
13:38and deliberately breaks the law.
13:40Steve.
13:41The CIA.
13:42Show me the CIA.
13:44It is number one.
13:45The men have control.
13:47James, think of a steal if we come over there.
13:49Here we go.
13:50Here comes a man that knows all about the government.
13:52That's right.
13:53I love the government.
13:54Come on back, Steve.
13:55Come on down, brother.
13:56Come on over here, Steve.
13:57I don't know my place.
13:58You can win if you guys take this question.
13:59I would say it has to be FBI,
14:02the Federal Black Investigation Agency.
14:04All right.
14:05That's it.
14:06Good answer.
14:07The Federal Black Investigation Agency.
14:08FBI.
14:09Got to be them.
14:10Show me the FBI.
14:12There you go.
14:13He knows.
14:14He knows.
14:15I know who it is.
14:17It's the IRS.
14:19Whoa.
14:20Yeah.
14:21That's a good answer.
14:22That's a good answer.
14:23He said that.
14:24IRS guys didn't know he had said that.
14:25Hey, shut up.
14:26Show me the IRS.
14:29All right.
14:30Willie, Tyler, Lester, you give me number four.
14:32You guys are going to play for $10,000 for the Thalians.
14:35Okay.
14:36Will you give the question again, please?
14:37Yes.
14:38Name a government agency you feel regularly and deliberately breaks the law.
14:44It's tough.
14:45It's tough.
14:46Three seconds, Lester.
14:47Willie.
14:48Okay.
14:49Got two more strikes left.
14:51Richard.
14:52Hi.
14:53How are you doing?
14:54You're stalling, aren't you, Richard?
14:55Pardon me?
14:56How are you being?
14:57You look great.
14:58Three seconds.
14:59A governor.
15:00A governor.
15:01A governor.
15:02Okay.
15:03Maybe.
15:04Governor.
15:05He gave an answer.
15:06Show me governor.
15:07Name a government agency you feel regularly and deliberately breaks the law.
15:10Well, it has been established that the National Security Council has.
15:13Whether the folks voted that way, we don't know.
15:15So, I'll try that.
15:16Okay.
15:17That is a very good attempt at the game.
15:19Show me the National Security Council.
15:22Now, that's three strikes.
15:24Women, you can steal with one answer, and you can win the game.
15:27Name a government agency you feel regularly and deliberately breaks the law.
15:30EPA.
15:31EPA.
15:32EPA.
15:33Jane, EPA.
15:34I agree.
15:35EPA.
15:36If the EPA is there, they're going to play for $10,000.
15:38If not, you are the champions.
15:43Show me for the game.
15:45EPA.
15:47No.
15:48Men are the champions.
15:51Look at them.
15:56Get up.
15:57Get up off the ground.
15:58It's not unbelievable.
16:00Get up.
16:01Yes, you are.
16:04It's hard to believe, but this is an interesting answer.
16:07What is number four?
16:10The police department.
16:12A government agency.
16:13I need two players for $10,000.
16:15Who's playing first?
16:16Mr. Jimmy Walker playing fast money for the Thalians right after these messages.
16:24Eddie White.
16:28We've got Jimmy Walker going for $10,000 for the Thalians.
16:3215 seconds on the clock, please.
16:34Good luck, pal.
16:35Do it.
16:36All right.
16:37Even a soundproof booth can't stop Richard Simmons.
16:41Name something specific that just about everybody likes.
16:45Television.
16:46Something teachers complain about.
16:48Students.
16:49Something that gives you headaches.
16:51Pressure.
16:52Something people wear on their faces.
16:54Ski masks.
16:56A place you store things.
17:00The place you store things.
17:01The basement.
17:02I was laughing.
17:03You said the basement.
17:04Turn around.
17:05I was laughing at your answer.
17:06That was five.
17:07I'm sorry that I laughed.
17:08I got a little too epic on ski masks.
17:10I don't know what you got.
17:12I asked you something specific that just about everybody likes.
17:16You said television.
17:18Our survey said 12.
17:2112 people like television.
17:22Something teachers complain about.
17:24You said students.
17:26Our survey said 28.
17:28Yes.
17:29Something that gives you headaches.
17:31You said pressure.
17:33Our survey said...
17:35Oh.
17:36Oh.
17:37That's a good answer.
17:38That's a good answer.
17:39Yes.
17:40Take it up with the judge.
17:41Something people wear on their faces.
17:42You said ski masks.
17:44Yes.
17:46I know this is going to be a high score.
17:48Our survey said 17.
17:51My people is out there.
17:53My people is out there.
17:55They know me.
17:56They know me.
17:57They know me.
17:58I asked you a place you store things,
17:59and you said...
18:00The basement.
18:01In the basement.
18:02Our survey said...
18:03Seven.
18:04You're up to 54.
18:05Cover those answers.
18:06We're going to let Richard work to bring it home.
18:07Come on.
18:08Richard.
18:09Take a look.
18:11Ah!
18:15Ah!
18:18Richard, try to stay as close to that spot as you can.
18:20This one?
18:21Right there, yes.
18:22This one?
18:23Right there.
18:24You have 20 seconds to answer these questions.
18:2620 seconds on the clock, please.
18:28There's a lot of number one answers up there.
18:29Okay.
18:30Good luck.
18:31Name something specific just about everybody likes.
18:35Food.
18:36Something teachers complain about.
18:38Noise.
18:39Something that gives you headaches.
18:41Screaming.
18:42People.
18:43Screaming.
18:44Something people wear on their faces.
18:45Makeup.
18:46A place you store things.
18:48A closet.
18:49Turn around.
18:50We'll see how many points you got.
18:52Turn right around.
18:53Food.
18:55I asked you.
18:57Name something specific that just about everybody likes.
19:00You said food.
19:02Our survey said...
19:04Name something specific that just about everybody likes.
19:12Ice cream was a very specific answer.
19:14Something teachers complain...
19:15That was number one.
19:16Something teachers complain about.
19:18You said noise.
19:20Our survey said eight.
19:23Number one answer, salary.
19:25Makes a lot of sense when you hear it.
19:26Something that gives you headaches.
19:28You said screaming.
19:30Our survey said only three.
19:34Number one answer was noise,
19:36which something people wear on their faces.
19:39You said makeup.
19:41Our survey said 42.
19:44Makeup was the number one answer.
19:46A place where you store things.
19:48You said the closet.
19:51Our survey said 22.
19:54Attic was the number one answer.
19:55129 points and $5 a point.
19:57You still have $645.
19:59Come on out here, guys.
20:00It was a good job.
20:02We are coming back.
20:03Do not go away.
20:04Jimmy.
20:09Failures have $1,037.
20:12Because of the funny men, vital options have $500.
20:15Because of our funny women, I'm Ray Combs for Family Feud.
20:17Thank you for watching.
20:18See you next time.
20:19Some of our departing contestants will receive
20:22Sylvania Soft White Light Bulbs.
20:25Lasts 5% longer than ordinary bulbs.
20:28Sylvania, where the best comes to life.
20:32Sinarest for three-way relief.
20:34Sinarest helps relieve headache, pain, sinus pressure,
20:37nasal congestion.
20:39Also available in no-drought units formula.
20:41Use as directed.
20:43Tootsie Roll Midgees, as good as you remember.
20:46Only 27 calories.
20:48Why not try some today?
20:50Tootsie Roll, as good as you remember.
20:53Pledge.
20:54Generation after generation, Pledge keeps your wood
20:57furniture looking beautiful without any buildup.
21:00With Pledge, dusting can be beautiful.
21:03Tums, the antacid tablet that gives you fast, effective
21:07heartburn relief and is rich in calcium.
21:10It's Tum, ta-dum, Tum, Tums.
21:12Use only as directed.
21:15Orifix special denture adhesive.
21:18Worried about loose dentures?
21:19Orifix holds them tight day and night.
21:21Orifix them, that'll fix them.
21:23-♪♪
21:38This is Gene Wood speaking for Family Feud.
21:41From classic funny moments to vintage names,
21:44you'll see them all on Wide World of Games next.
21:47Then tune in for To Tell the Truth at midnight,
21:49only on Game Show Network.
21:52-♪♪